Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 3 - Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Object Lessons: The Cheeky Pupil and the Living Objects

To my dear teacher:

Hello, miss, it’s been a while.

Since I’ve been training in the forest not far from Robetta, it would be easy to come spend time with you and make my report directly, but it’s a bit difficult for me to move from here—actually no, the truth is that, under present circumstances, I cannot leave, so I have decided to inform you via letter.

As I wrote in my progress report from several days ago, my dear pupil and your daughter Elaina made a “potion for talking to objects.” It was a magnificent thing.

She told me that she came upon it by accident, but even for an accidental product, this is a praiseworthy innovation.

However, although she is almost always calm and composed, she has a complex nature and tends to get carried away if I praise her even the littlest bit, so I didn’t say much.

However…

That brings us to today, several days later.

“Miss, you know that potion for talking to objects? Well, that was kind of defective. I’m working on something even more amazing now. Won’t you have a look?”

“Ah, sure… What kind of potion are you making?”

“An improved version of the other one. This time, the objects will assume human form.”

“Uh-huh…well then…”

“Sorry, but don’t misuse this one, okay?”

“I won’t. I learned my lesson last time.”

“Good thing.”

Miss, this is bad.

Elaina started getting carried away even though I didn’t praise her much. And what does she mean, “the objects will assume human form”? I’ve never made such a potion myself.

To my dear number one pupil,

You don’t need to do anything.

Leave her alone and it’ll work itself out.

To my dear teacher:

Seriously?

Oh, just in case, I’m including a sample of the potion for talking to objects that Elaina made the other day. Please confirm.

To my dear number one pupil,

Seriously.

Also, I wonder if you could stop sending packages cash on delivery. It’s annoying.

That said, what is with this flask? It talks. It’s creepy. That child certainly has some strange interests, doesn’t she?

To my dear teacher:

In that way, she is your spitting image.

To the person who was once my number one pupil,

I’m excommunicating you.

To my dear teacher:

Ah, wait a moment, miss! I’m sorry, I was just kidding.

To my dear teacher:

Being ignored has left me heartbroken.

To my dear teacher:

Miss? Miiisss—

Hellooo…?

To my dear number one student,

By the way, how is Elaina? Is she still full of herself?

To my dear teacher:

Ah.

No, that turned out just as you said it would.

There were several problems with my first attempt at a potion for talking to objects.

First, it was difficult to store. Because containers are also objects, any flask I used to try to store the potion also gained the ability to speak. It was terribly noisy and inconvenient. There was room for improvement.

Next, it wasn’t always easy to tell whether the potion had taken effect or not. Rarely, in the case of untalkative objects, they wouldn’t say anything, even when you applied the potion. Out of curiosity, I used the concoction on Miss Fran’s pointy black hat, but perhaps it had a shy disposition, or maybe it just didn’t want to talk to me—either way, the hat never said a single thing. I had no way of knowing whether the magic had an effect or not. There was room for improvement.

Since I was making a potion to converse with objects, the magic took liquid form. In the middle of one of my experiments, I spilled it all over the table and floor. It was awful, an absolute disaster. I’d prefer not to recall it. Here, too, there was room for improvement.

And so…

“Hmmm…” I was in the middle of bettering my acclaimed potion.

If I could make a superior version, I might become the kind of outstanding talent that surpassed my teacher… I entertained several daydreams to that effect while I worked.

I soon hit upon an idea that would clear up all the problems.

“A spell that would change objects into people…that’s it! That would be best.”

No doubt about it.

If it was a spell instead of a potion, there would be no danger of spilling it, and if I could give the target a human form, I could confirm visually whether the magic had taken effect.

Plus, if I made it into a spell, there would be no annoying voices from the flasks. There would be no need to store it.

Huh? Could I be…a genius…?

“This…could do it!”

I got to work as soon as I had made the decision.

I opened up the notes I had taken when I had accidentally created the potion before and settled into developing the spell.

Soon I had finished the prototype.

“Miss, you know that potion for talking to objects? Well, that was kind of defective. I’m working on something even more amazing now. Won’t you have a look?”

When I went to Miss Fran, she looked a bit surprised, then started writing a letter to someone.

The spell was complete in a matter of days.

“I finished the spell I told you about earlier!”

Just after I had completed my work on the project, I caught Miss Fran fidgeting nervously in front of the mailbox.

She was repeatedly opening it, and as she peered inside, she asked, “Oh-ho. Well then, well then… What have you finished exactly?”

“Listen and be amazed. It’s a ‘spell for changing objects into people.’ It’s incredible.”

“Ah…the spell you told me about earlier, huh? So you finished it?”

“Yes. It’s incredible—take a look.”

Then I fired off the spell.

A blast of light engulfed the mailbox, and it sparkled as it was hit by the magic.

After a short while, the box changed shape.

Into a cute girl.

“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Post. Thanks for always using me. By the way, Miss Stardust Witch, you’ve opened me up forty-two times today, but you still haven’t gotten any mail?”

The girl looked up at Miss Fran with a smile.

“I see, this is…”

Miss Fran looked down at the girl with a truly complex expression.

As far as what I did after that…well, I might have gotten a little carried away. Maybe. Just a bit.

I cast the spell on many objects and ordered them to do my chores. For example, I turned a single plate into a human and ordered it to do the dishes and left the cleaning of my room up to an enchanted dust cloth.

I changed my grimoire into a person and had it explain sections I didn’t understand.

I really lived my life just as I pleased.

Then, one day, it happened.

“Okay!”

I was trying to turn Miss Fran’s mug into a human and have it pour coffee into my own mug while I sat in my chair, as usual.

I accidentally made a teeny little mistake.

I let the magic build up around my wand for too long instead of releasing it.

“…Ah.”

The light surrounding the tip of the wand soon wrapped itself around the whole thing, changing it into a human.

“Oh-ho-ho-ho…I’ve been waiting for this day!”

A strange sight appeared before my eyes. An adult woman, a little older than me.

The woman who had been created from my wand grabbed me by both shoulders and leaned close to me. “Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! Elaina. What a cute girl you are! The whole time that I’ve been working hard for you, I’ve wished and waited for the day I would become your friend. Geez, you’re cute.”

“Ah, okay…thanks, I guess.”

“By the way, do you have a sweetheart?”

“I don’t, but—”

“Then be my sweetheart!”

“No! We’re both girls. And you’re not even human.”

“What are you saying? Love’s got nothing to do with gender!”

“Ah, wait—wah!”

The wand woman suddenly grasped my shoulders and pushed me down.

Wait just a minute! You’re not even human. Let’s address that before worrying about gender and so on.

I felt like there were several things I needed to say, but unfortunately, I wouldn’t get the chance.

The woman straddled me, wearing an ecstatic expression, her breath ragged.

Ah, this is bad.

“Don’t worry! I won’t hurt you!”

Then she grabbed both of my wrists with one hand and slowly and steadily lowered her face close to me.

A mage deprived of their wand is practically helpless. Since it was my very wand attacking me, I had an even bigger problem.

Ahh! Ow-ow-ow!

“Stop…hey, stop it—”

Then, just as she was about to kiss me, she suddenly reverted back into a wand.

“…Really. What are you doing, Elaina?”

When I looked past my wand, Miss Fran was standing there staring at me with an exasperated expression. “That was a close call. In several ways.”

“……”

“Are you all right?”

I grabbed my teacher’s extended hand, and she pulled me up.

“I am now. Somehow…”

“That’s good.”

I was full of miserable feelings as I hastily put my very disheveled attire back in order. This must have been some kind of lesson about getting carried away. I never imagined that I would get attacked by my own possessions.

Perhaps realizing what I was feeling, Miss Fran didn’t admonish me but just had one thing to say. “People and objects are the same. There’s no guarantee they’ll always do as you expect.”

And then she bonked me on the head.

To my dear teacher:

…So that’s what happened, and since then, she hasn’t used the spell for changing objects into humans.

To my dear number one pupil,

The next time I see my daughter, I’m going to smash that wand to bits.

To my dear teacher:

I’ve already done it.