Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 4 - Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

The Apple Murders

Deep in the forest, there was an inn.

Late one night, a beautiful crescent moon was hanging over that very structure, making it look just like a castle from the outside. Suddenly, a scream rang out.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

It was easy to imagine that something was amiss. All the people staying at the inn were probably thinking the same thing. As I dashed from my room, I caught sight of several other guests spilling out into the hallway in confusion just like me.

After sprinting down the hall, I figured out where the scream had come from.

A crowd had formed a circle in the lounge.

I said a “crowd,” but I could have counted everybody on two hands. The inn wasn’t particularly full.

“Hey…this is…”

“I can’t believe someone would do something so terrible…”

“I-it was already like this when I found it…!”

The confusion was spreading.

Slipping through the small crowd, I entered the center of the circle.

“Did something happen?” I asked no one in particular before I largely grasped what had taken place.

In the center of the lounge, lying stretched out on the carpet, was a woman traveler who was staying at this inn. Her name was Marie.

She was very pretty, and since she had a calm demeanor, kind personality, and shapely figure, rumors had quickly begun to circulate that she was far too cute to be a simple traveler (according to her, anyway). Now she was lying there limply.

She had donned a very expensive-looking dress, and her complexion was pale and bloodless. I wondered why she had gotten all fancy, seeing as we were stuck here in an inn in the middle of nowhere.

She didn’t appear to be breathing. Her chest wasn’t moving up and down, and she was stiff as a doll.

That was not the only suspicious thing about the scene. She was collapsed faceup, and next to her lay a single apple, missing a big bite.

Dark red liquid spilled from Marie’s mouth, making quite a mess of the carpet.

She probably died eating this apple—that’s certainly what it looks like.

“Do you suppose she ate a poisoned apple or something…?” An employee of the inn timidly looked around at the small crowd. She was probably the person who first discovered Marie. Her voice matched the scream I had heard earlier.

“A poisoned apple? Why would it just be sitting out in a place like this?” A dark-skinned traveler voiced his doubts. I’ll nickname you Mr. Tan Man.

“Oh, I was, you know! I was in my room until now! Really!” There was a suspicious person who suddenly tried to prove an alibi even though no one had asked. I think your type is the most suspicious.

“This is…the curse of the apple… She disrespected the sacred apple…and punishment…was delivered…” A girl wearing gothic Lolita clothes looked down on Marie’s corpse and spit on it. How filthy.

“Please calm down—did anyone witness her final moments? Or did you see any suspicious persons?” The manager of the inn addressed everyone in the room in an admonishing tone.

“As if there would be any witnesses!” barked a drunk woman holding a large bottle of booze.

She was right. Everyone looked around at their fellow guests, and nobody had any useful information to offer. There were very few guests and employees present, given how ridiculously spacious and extravagant the place was. In these kinds of situations, where everybody was familiar with everyone’s faces, word of anybody acting suspicious was sure to spread quickly.

“…So that means this was an accident. She unknowingly ate a poisoned apple that just happened to be sitting here—” I put a hand to my chin, puzzling over my own words. “No… Could that really be true? This is just a baseless guess, but the reality is that it doesn’t matter if this was a murder or an accident. I think what we’ve got here is something different than either of those typical scenarios.”

The six people around me all looked at me in unison. What on earth is she talking about? they had to be wondering.

Letting that wash past me, I began to spin a tale.

“I’ve heard there is a certain legend in this land. Do you know of it?” I questioned.

Goth Girl answered right away. “…Do you mean…the Legend of the Apples…?”

The Legend of the Apples.

Indeed. I nodded.

The majority of the people there didn’t know a thing about it and cocked their heads in confusion.

Do I have to spell it out? I was thinking when Goth Girl launched into her own explanation.

“In this land, there is a legend that people will fall into an eternal sleep after eating an apple, which happens very rarely. The tale dates back three hundred years. A witch who was jealous of the good looks of a beautiful girl who dwelled in the forest put the girl into an eternal slumber by poisoning an apple. But several days later, a necrophile prince passed right by the girl’s body and was so moved by her cuteness that he kissed her on the spot. After she came back to life, the necrophile prince spit out, ‘What the—? I have no interest in living girls. Come see me again after you die,’ and left. Since then, poison apples grow periodically in this forest. And they are fated to be eaten by beautiful girls, no matter the era. Also, the girls are always awakened by the kiss of a prince. That’s how the legend goes.”

“Um, yeah.”

I pulled quite far away from Goth Girl, who was strangely talkative in her field of expertise.

“…In other words, she will come back to life if a prince kisses her?” Mr. Tan Man laughed scornfully. He didn’t seem to believe a word of Goth Girl’s story. “All right, I’ll kiss her and make her wake up.”

He didn’t seem to believe the legend, but in his mind, lust had probably given the boot to any sense of reason, making him act strangely. His eyes had gone bloodshot.

“Wait! I’ll—I’ll do it!” The suspicious man had red eyes, too, but I thought I remembered that he had been like that from the beginning. Maybe he’s sleep deprived?

“Now, now, gentlemen. Stop this.” The dandy manager stepped in to stop the two of them. “I shall do it.”

Uh-oh, he wasn’t stepping in to stop them at all!

“Wait. I’m the one who told the Legend of the Apples. So I have the right to place my mouth on hers.” Goth Girl had entered the ring of men, and I backed away from her.

“…Men are idiots.” The drunk woman drank her sake as she watched from a distance while the men quarreled raucously over the corpse. Their argument was livening up her drinking session.

“…There’s one girl in the mix.”

The inn employee, who was the only sensible one in the place, cried, “I want to go home.”

In the end, Marie’s corpse had launched the inn into panic.

Everyone was ranting and raving, yelling about who would kiss her, or wanting to drink more, or wanting to go home.

It quickly dissolved into total chaos.

…Well, one way or another, this all started with me…

What can I do to take control over the situation? I was thinking it over as I watched them make a fuss.

“Don’t get near that corpse!”

Just as I took a dive into the ocean of my own thoughts, somebody else raised their voice. Everyone’s eyes went wide with surprise.

“What we have here is a murder! That corpse is important evidence. Back away!”

Standing there was a fresh-faced young man wearing a trench coat.

He held his hunting cap aloft, booming at us. “Oh, I suppose I ought to tell you all—I am a detective of some great repute, and I am here to solve this murder with all due speed and precision.”

……

Uh-oh, this might spell trouble, I thought to myself.

Well then, before I continue the story, allow me to recount the events of the day the murder took place. Perhaps there are some hints as to the identity of the perpetrator hidden in there.

I suppose everything started around noon.

“An inn in a place like this…?”

In the course of my travels, I had stumbled across an inn in the middle of a forest and was staring up at its palatial exterior. It was situated deep in the forest, with nothing but trees on all sides, so I’m sure I was wearing a very puzzled expression.

It was so odd that I was convinced the inn must be abandoned, even as I headed for the front door. I was expecting I would be able to squat there just for the night.

“Ah, welcome!”

When the manager came out to meet me, I clicked my tongue loudly in surprise.

What’s this? They’re in operation?

“Can I stay here?”

“But of course! In fact, you’re our seventh guest of the day!”

“……” I got my first look at the inside of the place. The interior was splendidly appointed. It looked more like a palace than an inn. Maybe the owners had kept it just as they had found it. “In this huge inn, there are only seven customers…?”

I was somewhat concerned as to whether I should stay or not.

Since they were operating in such a remote location, I could guess business wasn’t booming. In that case, they must have charged their customers exorbitant fees, and there was a possibility that extra expenses would show up on the bill.

“……” It would probably be best to seize the initiative and hurry out of here. “I’m sorry—,” I began.

“By the way, if you book now, we can ready the finest quality room at a discount.”

“—I’ll be staying, then.”

And so I ended up staying for the night.

Sure enough, they gave me a sumptuous room for a very reasonable price; the manager had certainly spoken the truth. The room I was shown looked fit for royalty. A chandelier, emblematic of riches, hung from the center of the ceiling over a mysterious-looking canopy bed. Every inch of the huge, formidable furniture was lavishly decorated. There was also a vase for no reason, which was placed on a random stand. It looked like something you could get a lot of money for at a pawnshop.

“Hah-hah! So this is where I’m going to stay?”

An undiscovered treasure.

I lounged in my room until evening, when my stomach was suitably empty. Apparently, this inn even prepared some kind of dinner for guests, which for the price I found more than satisfactory. I had a keen hunch that there was a catch to all this but made a conscious decision not to worry about it too much.

Just as the sun was setting, the manager took the liberty of visiting my room and kindly told me that dinner had been prepared.

As before, I followed the manager’s lead and proceeded toward the dining hall, where I first met the other guests.

Seated far apart from each other at a long, thin table, every one of them looked like a person harboring some sort of dark secret.

I sat down across from a girl who had the look of a traveler. What had been prepared for dinner was a mysterious soup, a mysterious salad, and a mysterious meat. When I say it like that, it sounds like the meal was shrouded in mystery, but when I tried some of the food, it was all surprisingly unsurprising.

“Say, are you a witch?”

As I was digging into my salad, the girl sitting in front of me suddenly leaned over in curiosity. Her gaze had fallen on the star-shaped brooch pinned to my breast.

“I am.” I puffed my chest out a bit.

“Wow. That’s amazing. You look even younger than me.” At this point, the girl extended her hand across the table to me. “I’m Marie. Nice to meet you!”

“The pleasure’s all mine. I’m Elaina. A traveling witch.” I gripped her hand as I continued to chew, because I’m a bad girl with bad manners.

When we finished our greetings, the girl suddenly lowered her voice. “By the way, Miss Witch, which of the men over there is your type?”

“Huh?”

“Look here. There are four men huddled together in those seats over there. Which do you fancy?”

“……”

In the direction Marie was pointing, there was an edgy girl (I had already nicknamed her Goth Girl) eating by herself. Beyond her was a very clearly intoxicated woman who was ignoring her food in favor of more booze—and beyond her were the four men who were sitting and eating together.

“The man sitting farthest away, with the darker skin, is—”

“Right.”

Remembering names was a pain, so I had decided to call him Mr. Tan Man.

“Sitting across from him is this inn’s manager, his name is—”

Mr. Manager, yes, I see.

“Closer to us on the right, the man acting a little suspiciously is—”

Mr. Sketchy.

“And, on the left, the wonderful young hunk of a man with the fantastic personality is—”

Mr. Hunky, got it.

“Who do you think is best? I really like the hot guy, but…”

“……” Why did this girl suddenly start checking out the guys? “I’m not really interested in any of them.”

“Huh? The hot guy is the only really good one out of all of them, isn’t he? All the others are past their prime or really weird or just plain old. I think the only one you would be happy marrying is the hunk.”

“……”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I’m traveling to find my ideal boyfriend, and the hot guy over there is my current boyfriend.”

“……”

Just wanted to brag about your boyfriend, huh? I cringed, knowing she went out of her way to put down the other three men just to brag about her man. What are you? The type of beautiful girl who stands next to ugly people to make yourself look better?

“But he’s sitting over there, talking with the other men. Not with you.”

From what I could see, Mr. Hunky seemed to be having a friendly meal with the other three men sitting at his table. Shouldn’t he be eating with his girlfriend?

Marie’s face suddenly clouded over when I pointed this out. “That’s right… That’s a problem.”

“Sigh…” I could sense right away that this might turn into a long story and exhaled when I realized what was coming.

I would have liked to request that she keep it brief.

“Say, what do you think, Elaina? It’s been about two months since we started dating, but he hasn’t made a move on me no matter how much time passes. I can practically feel his gaze on my chest and butt, but he hasn’t given the slightest indication that he intends to make a move. Not to mention he’s only kissed me on the hand so far. What do you make of this?”

“Break up with that unreliable man right away! Obviously!”

That wasn’t me talking just now.

“……”

“……”

For some reason, the drunk woman had taken a seat at our table and butt into our conversation while continuing to take swigs from her bottle.

Along with her came the smell of alcohol and Goth Girl, completing the set.

I could really do without the bonus add-ons…

“…An illicit affair…related to apples… Sacrilege…”

Goth Girl seemed to be a member of some kind of apple-based religion.

Drunk Lady had sat down with a thunk next to Marie, clapping her firmly on the shoulders. “Hey listen, that sucks! Drink up and forget about it! For now, just have a sip? Hey!”

Then she poured a glass of sake for Marie, making strange sound effects like “woot” and “ay-yo.” Marie didn’t seem to like the idea at first, but Drunk Lady chipped away at her resolve, and she quickly gave in and had a drink.

Less than an hour later, the two of them were completely sloshed.

“I can’t do it anymore! Why doesn’t he make a move on me? I’m sure I’m leaving him plenty of chances! Nothing but opportunities! Make a move! Come on!” Marie had snapped.

“I hear ya. Men are so dense. They haven’t got a clue unless you say, ‘I’m waiting!’”

After that, a conversation unfolded between the two drunken parties that I don’t think would be worth repeating here.

“……”

“……”

“…Do you have any interest in apples? In this region, there’s a certain legend about apples, you know. To tell you about it would take some time, but—”

“……”

Incidentally, sitting across from the two drunk women was a pitiful witch who was being solicited into joining a strange fruit-based religion.

Who could that be?

That’s right. She’s me.

“—and then apples bestowed humans with their intellect and became regarded as a sacred food. A certain famous scholar even got a hint for explaining the true nature of our world when he was hit on the head by a falling apple. Do you know what that means? Yes, it means that apples have led humans to great feats. Our world was built on apples. The whole world is an apple. I’m traveling around the world to look at apples, and I’m so happy I could die—”

“……”

I think at this point, my eyes were so dead with boredom that I looked like a corpse.

“…And that’s the story of what’s happened from this morning until now.”

After making a sudden appearance, the detective had asked us to “Please start with the events of the day on which the murder occurred,” so I had taken the lead and told him, as the last person to arrive in the room.

By the way, regarding this great detective—

“You’re Marie’s boyfriend, right? What’s the deal with that outfit?”

“You’re wrong. I am a famous detective. I have no relation to the victim.”

“……”

“I am a famous detective.”

Really playing the role, huh?

I was getting tired of this exchange, so I gave up on pressing him any further. Sleeping dogs and all that.

“B-but hey…Mr. Detective. You can tell from that story, can’t you? This wasn’t a murder or anything. I mean, nobody here had any reason to do it, did they?” said Mr. Sketchy, who had protested his innocence so vehemently that he may as well have said he was the culprit.

The great detective shook his head.

“That’s not necessarily true. The victim and her boyfriend were staying at this inn together, right? The boyfriend was accompanying the beautiful victim. In other words, one can easily imagine our perpetrator becoming obsessed with the victim and resenting her.”

Really?

“In that case, wouldn’t the boyfriend be the suspect?”

“That’s not necessarily true.” The great detective looked down his nose at me. “There’s a possibility that the perpetrator decided, I’d rather kill her than see her date another man.”

He seemed to have a point.

Drunk Lady suddenly raised her hand. “Which means that the victim was done in by a man, right? So I can go back to my room? I don’t wanna hang around in a place that could be sheltering a murderer,” she said, plainly concerned with saving her own skin.

“That’s not necessarily true.”

I wasn’t all that bothered myself, but whenever he said that line, his expression turned arrogant, which got under my skin.

“Look at Goth Girl’s eyes.”

His gaze was turned toward Goth Girl, who was still standing over Marie’s corpse.

“The sleeping princess, sent to her eternal slumber by a poisoned apple… Nice… Ha-ha-ha… So cute…”

Her face was tinged red, and her breathing was ragged as if she had just sprinted, and on top of that, she was clearly drooling.

She made Mr. Sketchy look trustworthy.

“W-well… I suppose that means that women can be suspects, too.” Even the great detective had pulled away from her.

“…Can’t you just call her the culprit already?”

Drunk Lady was obviously awakening from her stupor.

Goth Girl’s suspicious behavior was deemed cause enough to detain her for questioning. The detective returned the other people to their rooms for the time being “Under no circumstances should you open your doors!” he reminded. “Absolutely not, you hear?” he emphasized. “Never!” he added for good measure, so they would probably stay shut up in their rooms no matter what happened.

“What’s your name?”

We had converted the dining room into an interrogation cell. The great detective, seated across from Goth Girl, fixed her in his unsparing gaze.

Incidentally, I was accompanying the great detective. If Goth Girl tried anything funny, I would be able to quickly gain control of the situation.

“ ” She muttered her own name. It’s a pain to remember, so I’ll keep calling her Goth Girl.

With his arms folded, the great detective cast a sharp glance at her. “I’ll ask you directly. Are you the one who laid out that poisoned apple?”

“…No, I’m not. I believe in apples from the bottom of my heart, but I don’t walk around carrying bunches of them…”

“Liar. There’s no one else here besides you who would bring apples with them. Plus there’s the other issue. Are you trying to say the victim went out of her way to eat it all on her own? There’s no way that would happen. Which means you’re the culprit.”

It was total speculation. I was shocked hearing the great detective talk. Better to call the detective defective.

“…You’re wrong. First of all…you’ve got the wrong idea…”

“What did you say?”

At this point, Goth Girl let out a long sigh.

Oh, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

“—First, I may be a devout believer who loves apples from the bottom of my heart, but for that very reason, I have the dilemma of not being able to eat apples. I’m sure you understand why. One reason is that apples are far too sacred to be eaten by common folk. What religion do you practice? You must have something you believe in, right? For example, if you were told to eat an image of your god, could you? I don’t think you could. See what I mean?”

I had stopped listening halfway through, but to make a long story short, she clearly wasn’t walking around with any apples.

“……”

“……”

We had accidentally proven the innocence of our most promising suspect.

Who could have laid out that poisoned apple?

If only we knew that, we’d be able to apprehend the culprit in no time.

“Tch…in that case, who is suspicious…?” The great detective was in very low spirits after failing to get a confession out of Goth Girl. As he sat tracing his finger across the dining room table, the detective’s eyes lit up as something flashed into his mind.

“Wait a second…? That’s right! Dining hall…dinner—the one serving meals at the inn…! That means that the person who prepares food for the dining hall is the most suspicious, doesn’t it…?”

It was an impressively mediocre idea.

I was sure he’s going to pull the cook in for questioning next, and I was also sure it was not going to lead anywhere, either.

What an unreliable detective.

The murder investigation had run aground, and I was starting to get fed up with the make-believe farce of this great detective.

“AAAAAAAAAAH!”

That’s when a shriek rang out.

I don’t suppose that’s the news that a second murder has taken place—

“……”

Not that I really care, but is there some rule that the employees always have to be first to discover the bodies?

“…Uhhh, she was already like this when I saw her…”

“This is really awful…”

“It w-wasn’t me! I was in my room the whole time!”

“It’s the curse of the apples…”

“Please calm down!”

A crowd had gathered around the latest victim, sprawled out on the ground.

The new victim—Drunk Lady—was lying limply on her side. Next to her was a large bottle of sake. There were no marks from blunt force trauma and no signs of a struggle, but a nasty-colored liquid was dribbling from her mouth.

How on earth had she ended up like this?

Once again, an employee had been the first to discover the body, and she explained the situation.

“…Um, I was patrolling the area to see whether there was anyone suspicious around, but…when I passed by this spot, I heard sounds coming from her room… They were really violent sounds, so I thought maybe she was being attacked… But she was already…ohhh…”

She broke into tears.

“Let’s get the circumstances straight.” The great detective moved on without making any attempt to console the girl.

What an awful guy.

“Take a look at the victim’s surroundings. There’s a large sake bottle lying here. Also, there’s some kind of thick liquid spewing from the drunk woman’s mouth… There’s only one conclusion we can draw from these circumstances. That’s right, it’s a deadly poison. It seems we have another incident on our hands with the same culprit as the apple poisoning.”

“……”

Um, no. There’s just no way.

“This is just ordinary sake, isn’t it?”

There was a large bottle beside her. The stuff spilling from her mouth was vomit. And she was lying limply on the ground.

To put it clearly and concisely, Drunk Lady had too much to drink and passed out. Isn’t passing out pretty serious? Well, she seems to be breathing normally. She’s even snoring. She’s not dead. Just unconscious. She probably fell to the floor, puked, and then blacked out.

…I hope I’m not like her when I’m older, I thought.

“There’s no doubt this sake bottle was spiked with a deadly poison!” exclaimed the great detective.

“No, she just drank too much,” I insisted.

“This sake bottle is an important piece of evidence! Don’t touch it!”

“I just told you, she had too much to drink. Are you an idiot?”

“Slurp… Yes indeed, it is a most deadly poison!”

“It’s just sake.”

You’re telling me that you just tasted poison and you’re still okay somehow? Also, how do you know what poison tastes like anyway? And what on earth are you thinking, contaminating the crime scene?

Well, it’s just ordinary alcohol.

“Oh, I can’t tell the ingredients from such a small sample… Let me drink a little more…”

The capricious detective gripped the sake bottle and took another big swig. Alas, he shared an indirect kiss with Drunk Lady.

“…Heh-heh-heh. As I thought, this is poison…!”

“You sure seem happy to be poisoning yourself.”

“I have an immunity.”

“……”

I decided it wasn’t worth arguing with him.

Go ahead and do what you like.

“…All right, the next step is to eat the poisoned apple. That might contain the very same poison.”

The very red-faced detective left the room, still sipping from the bottle.

He must have been unsatisfied with Drunk Lady. He was plotting to share an indirect kiss with Marie, too.

……

I hate this…

“Right, so I will now taste this poisoned apple,” the great detective announced, holding the fruit up after returning from the lounge.

Apparently, he was not the only one interested in it.

“No, wait a moment. I was the first to lay eyes on it. That means I have the right to eat it.” Mr. Tan Man grabbed the apple.

“W-wait…! I’ll do it! If it really is poisoned, you’ll die. I’ll be fine. I’ve got a death wish.” Mr. Sketchy also grabbed it, spewing some nonsense.

“Now, now, gentlemen. Calm down. I’m the oldest one here, so I should do it.” The foppish manager grabbed the apple.

“……”

“……”

“……”

“……”

Then the four of them stared at each other wordlessly for a moment.

“Don’t joke around! I’m the great detective! I’m going to eat the poison apple!”

“You say that, but I bet you just want to get an indirect kiss! Stop messing around!”

“T-that’s right! And you already drank from the sake bottle, too!”

“Now, now, everyone. Calm down. I’ll do it.”

“No, I will.”

“I will.”

“I-I’ll do it!”

“No, me.”

The unseemly men squabbled over the little apple. It was probably the most vulgar argument the world had ever seen. No doubt about it.

“What are they doing to that sacred apple…?” Goth Girl was indignant at the spectacle.

“…Enough already…I want to go home…” The employee was still crying.

“…Bleeeeeehhh…” Incidentally, Drunk Lady had just regained consciousness, leaning against me as she emptied the contents of her stomach. She was probably sickened by the terrible display taking place before her eyes.

The argument grew more and more heated.

The first one to make a move was Mr. Tan Man. He was well built. Driven by passion, he wrenched the apple away from the other three and bit into it.

“Uagh!” Mr. Tan Man collapsed. The apple rolled away. However, he hadn’t fulfilled his desire for an indirect kiss. Instead, there were now two bite marks.

Mr. Sketchy was the quickest to pick up the apple. “Wh-which one…?” He hesitated between the two bite marks. “Th-that’s right! The smaller one must be the spot where the girl ate from!” He went from the smaller bite. “Oh no…!” His knees buckled under him and he collapsed in despair. The apple rolled away.

“How could this be…?! Which is it…?!” When the manager picked up the apple, the two bite marks were now the same size. There was no longer a distinction to be made. “I choose death over sharing an indirect kiss with another man!” In the end, the manager bit into the red fruit in an entirely new spot. “Wait…this…is meaningless…!”

He realized too late. The manager also fell to the ground.

Having defeated his three rivals, the great detective threw the poison apple away. “Phew…what an idiotic bunch. They didn’t even realize that this was all part of my scheme!”

It seemed his mind had taken a strange turn on account of his drunkenness. Having drained the bottle dry, he tossed it to the side. Drunk Lady threw up again.

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now the case is mine!”

This is where the great detective exposed his true nature.

“So, I don’t suppose Marie will awaken until I give her a wakening kiss, right? That’s right, isn’t it, Goth Girl?!”

“…Yeah.” She nodded, raising her eyebrows in surprise at being called this nickname.

“Which means that until I kiss her, she won’t wake up. Score!”

Apparently, he got really weird when he got drunk. The great detective, completely forgetting himself, sat down next to the girl.

And then he placed a hand on Marie’s clothing.

“Uagh!”

“…He must not…even register that we’re here…”

“Bleeeeeegh.”

Marie had been troubled because her boyfriend never made a move, but I was certain she wouldn’t want to be touched in this fashion.

Looks like I’d better get in there and stop this—

“…Hiya.” I had taken out my wand.

“Don’t touch me. I’ll kill you.”

Marie sat up, caving in the man’s face with a beautiful right hook. There was a dull crunching sound, and then blood sprayed through the air.

The great detective collapsed.

“…Scum.”

She looked down at the great detective laid out on the floor, blood gushing from his nose.

“……”

And as for the poisoned apple, the key to this whole incident?

Who on earth was the culprit that planted it?

That’s right. She’s me.

“Say, Elaina? Do you think you could make an apple into a poisoned one?”

After dinner, Marie had made a special visit to my room to ask me this question.

“You see, there’s the Legend of the Apples in this region, and—”

She told me a very romantic story.

A maiden of the forest was compelled by an evil witch to eat a poisoned apple and fell into an eternal sleep, but she was awakened by a kiss from a prince and lived happily ever after.

Well, the truth was that the prince was a necrophile.

“So you see, I want to try to imitate that legend!”

“Huh…” To summarize… “You want to get a kiss from your boyfriend to wake you from eternal sleep after I trick you into eating a poisoned apple?”

“Exactly!”

“Sounds like a hassle…”

“Oh, come on! Please, Miss Witch!”

“……”

It was quite a drastic measure to make a sheepish man interested, but I supposed there was no other way.

However, there wasn’t anything in it for me.

I wasn’t so generous that I’d gleefully play a role in this stupid farce. How can I reject her proposal with poise and grace…?

“Um, I’m very sorry, but—”

“If you help me, I’ll give you a gold coin.”

“Let’s do it.”

In this way, I became Marie’s coconspirator.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t exactly conjure up a poison that would kill her and then allow her to be revived by a kiss from a prince. Also, she had demanded that she be conscious the entire time. So I ended up placing a spell on the apple that would paralyze her as soon as she ate it, until I broke the spell.

Then I had her eat the apple in the lounge, which was the most public place in the inn, and we waited for someone to find her and for the commotion to start.

That was the plan.

Fortunately for us, we had a true apple lover, Goth Girl, staying with us at the inn. We thought once we set things in motion, Marie’s boyfriend would plant his lips on hers, but…

“…I never thought he would appear in a detective costume.”

It went far beyond expectations. For someone who had never even made a move, he certainly got carried away, steamrolling right past a quick peck to make a spectacle.

Which is to say, Marie’s boyfriend was a real idiot.

“Let’s break up… I can’t believe you…”

Marie spit on him—gross.

After all that, Mr. Tan Man, Mr. Sketchy, and Mr. Manager all woke up, caught sight of Marie, and shouted in surprise as they sprinted in all directions.

“Ahhh! The dead lives again!”

The great detective boyfriend stayed unconscious. Well, I’m sure he’ll wake up sooner or later.

“Hey, could you go ahead and rent me another room? I hate the idea of staying in the same room as him.”

“Of course.”

The employee nodded at Marie and handed her the key to a new room. We all decided it was time to leave the lounge.

Oh, by the way, we left the detective where he was.

“Sigh… I thought he was a sheep, but he was really a wolf in sheep’s clothing, huh? I’m done with him.”

“A wolf in sheep’s clothing?”

“Seems harmless until provoked.”

I see…a phrase I will probably forget by tomorrow.

“Appearances sure can be deceiving. I never thought he was like that.”

Marie shrugged in resignation.

I looked back at her as I opened the door to my room.

“Just like poisoned apples.”