Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 6 - Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

A Thief and His Mother

Awaiting me beneath clear skies after I passed through the gate was a wide avenue lined with evenly spaced trees. The roofs of the houses facing the avenue were covered with dry autumn leaves. When a cool breeze rustled through them, the brightly colored leaves lifted off and danced through the air as they fell.

There were almost no people on the street.

Though the scenery was rather lovely, the city felt lonely.

The wind blowing past me was cold, as if lamenting the desolation.

“……”

When you encounter a deserted city like this, you know one of two things right away: Either the city is boring and there’s no reason to go out, or the city is dangerous and people are afraid to leave their homes.

So which is the case with this city, I wonder…?

“Hey, missy, stop right there.”

Hmm, I guess it’s the latter.

The man who had suddenly appeared in front of me to block my way looked quite young. He was brandishing a rather short knife. I couldn’t see his mouth well because he had a scarf wrapped around his face.

As he swayed his little knife back and forth like the head of a snake, the man let out a melodramatic cackle. “Heh-heh-heh… You understand what this is, right? If you put up a fight, your head can kiss your body good-bye, see?”

It was a pretty weak threat, all things considered. And the blade he was waving around looked like it could maybe cut a piece of fruit, or some cheap meat, at best.

I wonder if he’s okay? In the head, I mean.

Anyway…

“Okay, well, ignoring what you were saying for a sec…do you understand what this is?”

With a fingertip, I tapped the brooch I was wearing on my breast.

It was my witch’s brooch.

I’m a witch, the highest rank among mages, you know. You’re no match for me head-on. Didn’t you see this? I told him implicitly.

Most thieves would immediately beg for forgiveness as soon as they saw the brooch, or would take a closer look and say, “Eh-heh-heh, I was just joking, miss!” or shout, “Ah! S-s-s-sorry, wrong person!” before fleeing.

For that reason, whenever I catch sight of a thief, I try to show off my brooch right away. As long as I’m not way out in the sticks somewhere, it has proved to be pretty effective.

“Huh? What’s that? I have no idea.”

“……”

Well I didn’t expect this place to count as being way out in the sticks!

I sighed and answered him. “Well, you see… I’m a witch…which means I can use magic. To put it simply, I’m very powerful.”

“Hmm. Powerful, huh? Like how powerful?”

“Incredibly powerful.”

Though it feels a bit shameless to say that about myself.

“If you were planning to threaten me and take all my money,” I continued, “you’d better stop now. I’ll hurt you.”

“I see…” The boy nodded, as if he understood what I was trying to tell him. “That’s great! Originally, I was planning to have you leave your money and get lost, but if you’re interested in standing up to me, that’s a different story. I’ll just have to take it by force, won’t I?”

Ah, he doesn’t get it at all.

“No, um… Why are you just assuming that we’re going to fight…?”

“I’m a bandit. And you’re my victim. So…yeah. Make sense?”

“Not at all.”

“Oh, you’re pretty dense, huh?”

“Are you really one to talk…?”

“Look, your only choices are to pay up or fight! Leave all your money behind and go, or I’ll have to take it by force… So, what’ll it be?”

“That’s not much of a choice, is it?”

“I’m making you choose. Heh-heh-heh…”

“But I just said that’s not really a choice…”

I just got to this city, and I am not really in the mood to fight in a place like this. And even if I manage to drive him away, there’s a possibility that I’ll attract even more unwanted attention from some weirdos or something. I’d like to wrap this up as quietly as possible…

“…Sigh. All right, fine. Come at me whenever you want.”

I squared my shoulders. It wasn’t so much that I was eager for a fight, but if the only other option was handing over my money…

“Heh…and I was just getting bored in this backwater town. Come on…make my day!”

Going all-out on this kid is only going to lead to more trouble. There’s no helping it then… Let’s freeze his feet in ice or something, as a warning.

“Oh, before we get into it, I just want you to know, flat-chested girls aren’t really my type, so… I’m definitely not trying to…y’know…do that sorta thing,” the boy ran his mouth as he fiddled with his knife.

Y’know what? Maybe I could hurt him just a little…

Seething, I reached for my wand, and then…

…in the middle of this desperate predicament (desperate for the thief, that is), a savior appeared.

Who could that be?

“Kou, darling! You forgot your lunch box!”

That’s right, it was his mother.

She appeared out of the blue. The woman approaching from behind the thief, outfitted in a house apron decorated with cute bunny designs, sandals slapping on the pavement with every mincing, pigeon-toed stride, was undoubtedly his mother. In her hand, carried aloft like a sacred flame and wrapped in a covering as adorable as her apron, she held a lunch box.

And then the holy mother presented the means of salvation (the lunch box) to the wannabe bandit.

“Here you go!” Her breathing was quite labored, probably from rushing, and her cheeks were a little flushed. “You’re such a scatterbrain!”

The young bandit looked utterly taken aback by this sudden development. When she gave him a good whack to the back of the head, it was not his body but his spirit that seemed to suffer the most damage.

“M-Mmmoooooooooooom! What’re you doing here?!” The thief…otherwise known as “Kou, darling”…seemed to forget all about the tough persona he’d been trying to project.

“Kou, honey, you forgot your lunch box, so Mama rushed to bring it to you, see? There’s no need to talk like that. You’ll make your mama angry!” The boy’s “mama” had her cheeks puffed out angrily.

“I d-don’t need no stinkin’ lunch box!”

“Even if I put those hamburger patties you like so much in it today?” She looked triumphant for some reason.

“I—I don’t want it! I don’t like them!”

“Well! You don’t have to be bashful just because you’re with your friend!” His mother slapped playfully at the bandit’s shoulder.

“Shut up and get out of here, Mom! I’m in the middle of work, so stay out of my way!”

The person in front of me was no longer a scary bandit; just a rebellious son arguing with his doting mother.

What is this? I feel like I’m looking at a child who’s late for school.

“Okay, okay. Work hard, sweetie! And don’t be late for dinner! I’m making your favorite, Salisbury steak.”

“Whatever, just go! Seriously! I can’t take it!”

“Yes, sweetie.”

……

The boy’s “mama” tottered away, leaving an awkward silence hanging between us.

“Phew…sorry about that. All right then, let’s pick up where we left off, shall we?”

After clearing his throat loudly, the bandit readied his knife again.

He looked at me with the eyes of a carnivorous beast that had cornered its prey. The glinting (paring) knife looked bloodthirsty as the light reflected off the blade tip.

I gulped. The sweat on my cheek ran cold.

The atmosphere in the ghost town was incredibly strained and full of tension.

You could tell that the area was about to become a battlefield…

“Kou, darling, do your best!”

Oh, come on…

There was the bandit’s mother, sitting a short distance behind him on a comfy blanket. The blanket, which she must have brought from home, was a worn-out thing with a cutesy pattern that looked like it held many cherished family memories. She had a picnic basket with her, and she was nibbling adorably on a sandwich.

A picnic?

“What are you doing, Ma?!”

“Oh, don’t worry about me!” she giggled. “You keep working, sweetheart!”

“As if I could! Hurry up and leave! Don’t get in my way!”

“Okaaay!”

……

Yet another awkward silence.

“Phew…sorry again for the interruption. Okay, let’s try this one more time.”

The bandit readied his knife again.

But the traveler was no longer standing before him.

“Oh, try an egg salad sandwich. They’re really good! It’s my special recipe.”

“Mmm, it’s delicious.”

“I knew you’d like it!”

Seated gracefully on a blanket, two women were enjoying a picnic—the bandit’s mother…and a traveler.

It was still a pretty awkward scene, but the sandwiches were delicious, so I didn’t really care.

“Wait. Wait just a second! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Having lunch.”

“But we’re supposed to be locked in battle…”

“My tummy was getting a little rumbly, so can we do it later?”

“I don’t think that an epic battle is the kind of thing we can just reschedule…”

First of all, I lost all interest the moment I was threatened with a paring knife. At least come at me with some kind of legendary blade or mystical weapon or something… I mean, really!

“Say, Miss Traveler, what’s your name?”

“Elaina.”

“Oh, that’s a lovely name. And what kind of job do you normally do?”

Normally? I’m not sure how to answer that.

“I don’t do anything that you would typically call a ‘job.’”

“My, my… So you’re getting ready for married life?”

“Who said that?! I’ll have you know I am a traveler.”

I continued munching on my sandwich.

I feel like we’re on completely different wavelengths. But these egg sandwiches are so delicious, I honestly don’t care.

“Huh? But that’s a role you’re playing, right? I’m asking about your regular job…”

…What?

“A role?” I tilted my head questioningly.

I wish she would say what she means already. Her words need to be easier to digest, like these sandwiches.

She looked even more puzzled than I and said, “Yes… Elaina, you’re an actor, aren’t you?”

What in the world?

“I’m…not…”

“Goodness! Why, you even refuse to break character!” she marveled. “What a precocious child.”

You ought to look up the meaning of “precocious,” lady.

“But really, what kind of work do you normally do?” she continued. “Or perhaps you’re trying to make a living just by acting? Don’t you think your mother worries about you?”

“…But I’m not an actor.”

I see, so in other words, here’s what’s going on:

The mother of the bandit…otherwise known as “Kou, darling”…doesn’t have the slightest idea that her little boy is really a thief. She’s convinced that he is doing things like this as part of some role that he’s playing. I see, I see. In that case, now I understand how she can be so carefree and relaxed about all of this.

“…Okay, listen lady” I continued. “I’m going to tell you the truth, and this is true for me, too, but your son was never an actor.”

“My baby boy…is not…an actor?” The bandit’s mother raised her eyebrows in shock and tilted her head. “But little Kou is always practicing in front of his mirror, saying things like, ‘Heh-heh-heh…gimme all your money!’ you know? You’re saying that he’s not practicing to play a bad guy?”

“He’s practicing to be a thief.”

“…But a while ago, he said he needed the right clothing to be a bandit, and I made him the outfit he’s wearing right now! You’re saying that wasn’t for a role?”

“That was so he could really look like a bandit.”

“Well…!”

Her eyes widened with astonishment.

Then, quite quickly, she leaped to her feet, and began pressing Mr. Bandit for answers. “Kou, honey, what’s this all about? Mama didn’t know anything about this!”

“Sh-shut up! It’s got nothing to do with you, Mom!” He was doing his best to act tough, but it was pretty hard to take him seriously.

“Waaah…Mama is so sad…! How did my little boy turn out like this…?” The mother of Mr. Bandit began sobbing.

Oh no, you made her cry.

The bandit was in a panic even without me shooting him a reproachful glance.

“…! A-aah…b-but this is just one of those things! I was just pretending to be a bandit, really! I wasn’t thinking of becoming one!”

If only she’d heard all the stuff he said when we were facing off earlier…

“Are you all right?” I moved to the mother’s side. I touched her shoulder gently and offered her my handkerchief, giving her son a reproachful look the whole time. I was acting like a schoolyard sidekick, scolding the boy who had hurt my friend. It was my way of showing gratitude for those delicious sandwiches.

“Thank you, Elaina…” The bandit’s mother accepted my handkerchief and immediately blew her nose, loudly.

Aww, c’mon, lady!

“Hey, Elaina? Here, take a look at this. This is a photo of little Kou when he was young.” For some reason, she suddenly pulled out a photograph of the bandit when he was a baby.

Were you just walking around with that?

“At this age, his dream was to become a sweet treat…”

“Huh…?”

What kind of dream is that?

“I’ve always remembered it because it sounded tasty… I think it was…a mafia?”

“Ma’am, that’s a common name for a criminal organization.”

I’m sure you confused it with “muffin.”

“Oh… I wonder when he began to tread down the path of delinquency…”

“He was probably a delinquent all along.”

He hasn’t evolved a bit since he was a child, has he…?

She couldn’t hold back her tears over her bandit son’s behavior.

“What do you think I should do?”

“It’s hard for me to know how to answer that…”

I glanced quickly over at Mr. Bandit.

He was standing a short distance away, fidgeting nervously. I was sure he didn’t really hate his own mother. He was probably just too embarrassed to be honest about his feelings.

I’d dealt with stubborn people before, enough to know that a lot of the time, offering your help only makes them dig in even further. Rather than a direct approach, it’s often easier to get results with a few white lies.

……

Anyway.

About that time, I was struck with an idea for a secret plan.

“Ma’am, would you lend me your ear for a moment?”

And then I told her my idea.

Secretly.

“Phew…okay. I’m really sorry for all the disturbances. All right, let’s try this one more time… Put ’em up!”

The young bandit shouted triumphantly. He had a black scarf wound around his mouth so I couldn’t see the lower half of his face. He brandished a knife in one hand, and its glinting tip pointed at me with clear intent to kill.

“Your luck ran out the moment I laid eyes on you. Come on, gimme your money! All you got! If you don’t like it, I’ll take it from you by force!” the young man yelled.

A shocked traveler prepared to surrender, hands in the air. She shuddered and trembled with fear.

“Heh-heh-heh…now don’t get any funny ideas! If you don’t hand it over, I’ll hit you with this ladle!”

Appearing suddenly from behind the bandit was another person—his comrade. A woman, who had gone home to change into an outfit that matched the bandit’s, then slipped on her usual apron and sandals over the new clothes out of habit and returned to the scene carrying with her a ladle for a weapon. It was none other than the bandit’s mother.

She had become his partner in crime.

“Wait…”

“Okay, Kou, sweetie! Do your thing! Let’s steal all her money!” His mother was in frightfully high spirits.

“Hold up. What are you doing, Mom?”

“Hmm? Oh, sorry. I guess that was wrong… It’s Mama’s first time being a bandit…”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Maybe you’re upset that I secretly made myself a matching outfit? Sorry! It was actually a lot of work, so—”

“No, that’s not it, either. Um, it’s just… What are you doing…?”

“I was worried about you, so I came back!” His mother winked so adorably you could almost see little cartoon hearts floating in the air after she spoke. “From now on, I’m going to come along whenever you’re working, okay honey?”

“……”

The bandit was completely deflated. He didn’t even have the willpower to yell at her. His paring knife fell to the ground on the spot and he crumpled to his knees.

For however long he intended to continue being a thief, the young man’s mother would be by his side.

The bandit covered his face with both hands, as if to shut out this new reality.

“Give me a break…”

How embarrassing… Not only was his mother accompanying him to work, but she had even dressed up for the occasion! The reality had torn his mind to shreds.

I placed a hand on the shoulder of the defeated young man and spoke plainly.

“You know your mom won’t follow you around if you just quit being a bandit, right?”

I was grinning.

In other words, if it’s not something you can do with your mother, don’t do it at all.

I stayed in the city for several days after that.

After the initial encounter, I didn’t particularly make any plans to meet with the two of them, and they say that such chance meetings are a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so I didn’t think I would see the pair again.

Not that I would have minded, terribly. I had been captivated by the taste of those egg sandwiches, after all.

On the day I was preparing to leave the city, by sheer coincidence, I caught sight of them again.

It was early in the morning. I saw a young man fly out of his house dressed in a business suit. I couldn’t see his face well, but both his hairstyle and his physique reminded me of the bandit I had recently encountered.

“Kou, darling! You’re forgetting your lunch box! Your lunch box!”

An older woman hurried out of the house a few moments after the young man. Though I only saw her from behind, I was certain she was someone I had met before.

Ah, it’s that mother-son duo.

I felt a little thrill, like I had caught sight of something rare and fleeting.

“Okay, do your best at work!” The mother handed her homemade lunch to her son, then waved to him as he sped off.

In the end, it seemed Kou had chosen not to continue pursuing the life of a brigand if it meant having his mother in tow. Apparently, he’d decided to look for a respectable job.

The people I saw there were no longer a pair of thieves.

They were simply a mother and her son.

Living happily ever after.

“I’m worried about him… I wonder if I should go with him to his new job, too?” The mother sighed and put her hand to her cheek as she watched the young man go.

……

Okay, maybe not completely happy.