Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 7 - Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Sharon the Liar

A tranquil summer atmosphere embraced the forest. The breeze, which had not yet lost the cool of springtime, rustled the leaves on the trees as it blew past. A lone traveler, who had not yet reached her destination, made her way through the wood atop a broom.

The young woman had ashen hair and lapis-colored eyes, and she wore a black robe and a triangular hat. Clipped to her breast was a single star-shaped brooch.

Her broom was her ticket to freedom, allowing her to always wander from one place to the next. She was a traveler, and also a witch.

She was never in a hurry. It was important to enjoy the journey at one’s own pace. The witch sucked in a lungful of cool air, thinking to herself that the chill breeze blowing through the forest seemed like a sigh of lamentation for the passing of spring. When she exhaled, it, too, sounded almost like a sigh.

So then…

This woman, fully enjoying her time alone, seemingly reluctant to let it end, who on earth could she be?

That’s right, she’s me.

“Hello, hello! Good day to you, Miss Witch. Are you well?”

And she’s also the person being addressed.

“……”

There was a lone girl standing directly in my path.

This girl, who had shattered my blissful quiet without a shred of remorse, put a hand to her chin and smiled. “Hmm… That settles it!”

“…Hello?”

I stopped my broom and looked down at her.

Her blue robe was garnished with lace, and her skirt was made of multiple layers of frills. Her outfit, coupled with the strange pose she was striking, made her look pretty cute. There also was a star-shaped brooch upon her breast—the mark of a witch.

If I had to guess, I would say she was around eighteen years old. Her hair hung down to her shoulders and was the same shade of blue as her robe. She had been wearing the same self-satisfied expression the whole time, as if it was pasted on her face.

“…Hmm-hmm!”

More than anything else about her, I was getting slightly fed up with that expression of hers, which seemed to say, “I know everything!” I couldn’t tell you what this witch—who had barely said two words to me by this point—had to feel so pleased about.

“What’s your name? I’m Sharon, by the way.”

“Elaina.”

“I see. So tell me, Elaina, what on earth brings you to a place like this?” Sharon’s expression was unchanging.

“By any chance, did you come because you have business at the thieves’ hideout up ahead? If so, you had better stop now. Those aren’t people you want to mess around with.”

“No, I’m not interested in thieves or anything like that. I’m just passing through.”

“You’re just saying that. You actually intend to go destroy the thieves’ hideout, don’t you? No need to admit it. It’s written plain on your face.”

“No, um… I’m really not interested in thieves or whatever…”

More to the point, I’ve only just learned that there are thieves up ahead…

Just what is this witch trying to tell me?

Not having the slightest idea of what she was going on about, I tilted my head in confusion.

“Hmm-hmm…!” The witch once again flashed a triumphant grin. “Perhaps you were entrusted with the task by people from the next city over? Well, naturally, you came to act as an assistant to the great and powerful witch, Sharon… However! That’s just too bad! For I am not in need of an assistant!”

“Uh-huh…”

No one’s asked me to come here, though…

“Unbelievable! If you came at their behest…then it seems like they still don’t quite believe in the extent of my true power. But…no matter! I can destroy the thieves waiting down the road all by myself! Hmm-hmm!”

“It sure…seems that way…” I wasn’t giving anything she said any real thought, so for the time being, I nodded along. I find that whenever I get trapped in a conversation with someone like this, who keeps on talking on and on, if I just give perfunctory responses, it moves the conversation right along.

“But on the other hand, if you were to say that you were intent on becoming my assistant no matter what—that you wanted to distinguish yourself by challenging the thieves despite the danger…I suppose I might be willing to let you assist me. Just a little. Why, you’re probably in need of money, aren’t you? How about I split the reward with you?”

“I mean, I’m not broke or anything, so—”

“How about it? Don’t you want to become my assistant and defeat the thieves together? You can become my assistant, you know. An opportunity like this rarely comes around twice!”

“Never again would be too soon.”

“……”

“……”

When I flatly refused, the great and powerful Sharon went silent. I didn’t really understand what was going on. All I knew was that, sure, maybe I did have quite a lot of free time just then. But spending any of it volunteering to personally take on a gang of thieves seemed like a bad idea. The only thing for me to do was to respectfully decline Sharon’s proposal.

“…I don’t really understand what’s going on, but good luck dealing with the thieves, all right?”

After a half-hearted bow from atop my broom, I turned to leave that place—

“Wait a second.”

…Well, I tried to leave, but I was stopped by a considerable force.

Holding tight to my robe was the one and only Sharon.

“Wait…um…I’ll say it once more, okay?” She coughed once and cleared her throat. “You see, I am…an amazing witch.”

“Right.”

I heard that already.

“And you see, I said I would help you exterminate the thieves.”

“Right.”

I heard that, too.

“So?”

“No.”

“Oh, um…”

“If you’re such an amazing witch, then you should be able to take down the thieves by yourself, right? I’m certainly not going to go out of my way to steal your hard-earned glory. So don’t worry.”

“……” After a moment’s silence, she said, “I’m going to say it one more time, okay?”

“Sure.”

Again?

“All right, so…I’m a mage.”

Sharon indicated her brooch with a blank expression.

“…Right.”

“So if you don’t mind, would you please help me?” The nuances of Sharon’s speech had begun subtly shifting.

“No.”

However, I still politely declined.

“……”

“……”

“Um, one more time, perhaps—”

“No, I’ve heard enough.”

“Wait! One more time! Just let me plead my case once more! Seriously!” Now Sharon was getting frantic. “Ah, I see! That’s it, right? Elaina, could it be that, perhaps, you don’t understand the situation very well?”

“No, I think I understand it just fine, but—”

“Okay, okay. I’ll explain it step by step.”

No, you really don’t have to do that…

“First of all, I am not a mage.”

Sharon removed her robe with a blank expression.

“Right, right… Wait, what?”

What’s going on?

“But the folks in a nearby city mistook me for a powerful witch. You see, they entrusted me with exterminating the thieves! It’s an awful dilemma! Ha-ha-ha!”

“Wait, what’s the dilemma…? And what do you mean, you’re not a mage?”

“It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I’m just an innocent young girl with dreams of being a witch.”

“And…why do you look so pleased to admit something so awkward?”

So that’s what’s going on.

This girl’s just your run-of-the-mill nutjob.

“Good grief…those folks from the city are really unbelievable.” Sharon shrugged. My words didn’t seem to be getting through to her. “But what on earth is someone like me, who can’t use magic or anything, doing in a place like this…? You’re at least a little curious, aren’t you?”

“No, I can pretty much guess.”

“Oh?”

“You were probably mistaken for a witch, thanks to your misleading appearance, then heaped with praise and entrusted with the thief situation, right?”

I had just met this woman, but she seemed to have the kind of personality that could never refuse a request. I was sure she had agreed to do as the townspeople had asked, promising to make quick work of the thieves.

“……” Sharon was silent as she listened to my speculation. Then she smiled. “…Humph, seems you’re quite clever, aren’t you?” She was wearing the same self-satisfied expression as before. “Actually, there’s a deeper reason for why I’ve come this far into the forest—”

I didn’t listen much past that point, as Sharon had suddenly launched into an extended monologue. Even as I was thinking that it probably wasn’t that deep of a reason, ultimately, I had completely missed my chance to escape and ended up keeping her company while she talked to herself.

The traveler Sharon had always wanted to be a witch.

Her motives were generally incredibly shallow: one being that the word witch had a nice ring to it and another being the thrill she got when she saw the adorable robes witches got to wear.

But dreams didn’t always become reality, and despite Sharon’s strong feelings and many long hours of training, she never learned how to use magic. She simply lacked the gift.

Sharon had turned eighteen earlier that year, but she had never given up on her childhood dream. That ambition burned in her heart all the way to adulthood.

But she couldn’t use magic.

What could be done about that?

“Humph…even if I can’t use magic…I’ve got this!”

“This” was a disguise. Sharon didn’t have any aptitude for magic, but she was a skilled seamstress, and after several nights of sewing and many pricked fingers, she had produced a passable witch outfit.

And so, proudly dressing herself in a (homemade) blue robe with a (homemade) star-shaped brooch, Sharon set out on a journey.

Everyone in her hometown knew that Sharon couldn’t use magic, so she had no choice but to travel far away if she wanted people to believe she was a witch. Far from home, she could complete the transformation into an ordinary traveling witch.

“Hey, look! It’s a witch! Cool…” Every place she visited, the townsfolk would gawk in wonder.

“She’s so pretty… I want to become an amazing witch like her one day…” Wherever she went, she was welcomed with open arms.

Sharon was apparently blessed by fate, because none of the people in any of the places she had visited knew much of anything about witches. And no one had tried to pick a fight with her at any of her destinations, nor had she fallen in with any questionable characters.

However, with the grand title of “witch” hanging from her neck, Sharon was bound to attract people looking for help, whether she wanted to get involved or not. It was the destiny of a traveling witch to deal with those sorts of requests wherever she went.

“Ummm…excuse me, please…Madam Witch… I’ve got a request to make…”

“What is it?”

Sharon tilted her head questioningly as she smiled broadly at the girl who had approached her.

The girl knit her eyebrows and answered, “The truth is, my favorite skirt has gotten old, and I can’t wear it anymore… If you don’t mind, could you please use your magic and fix it for me…?”

Sharon was in a bind.

She definitely couldn’t use magic, but she did have something else: incredible self-confidence. So, of course, she wasn’t going to refuse.

“Humph, very well. I shall mend this garment for you and make it into something incredible,” Sharon promised triumphantly. But without even the slightest bit of magic, how was she planning to fix the skirt?

The answer was simple.

“Listen up, all right? I’m going to use magic now, so you are absolutely not to open this door. Do you understand?”

As if she was working to repay some infernal debt, Sharon shut herself away in her room and feverishly set to work using her actual skills—sewing the skirt back together.

The next morning, with bags under her eyes, Sharon delivered the mended skirt to the girl who had made the request.

“All right, here you go.”

“Wow, amazing! It’s beautiful, and it looks brand-new!”

When it came to sewing, Sharon’s skills may well have exceeded anything that could be produced with magic. Her talents were truly amazing. Rumors of the beautiful garment she had repaired spread like wildfire.

Sharon’s reputation immediately became the talk of the town. All sorts of people came to visit her and make requests. But that was no problem for Sharon.

“I…um…spilled some soy sauce on my clothes…”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. Leave it to me.”

She did some normal stain removal.

“The truth is, I bought the wrong size of clothes…”

“Ho-ho, leave it to me! I’ll adjust them to the perfect size.”

She did a normal resizing.

“The truth is, I’d like to put the clothes I no longer wear to good use…”

“Okay, how about I turn them into handbags?”

She simply repurposed the fabric and stitched new handbags.

And that was how Sharon pretended to use magic and flourished in her own way. And who could blame her?

But soon, rumors spread that there was a powerful witch in town, and her presence caught the eye of some bedraggled-yet-important people who wanted to make use of her brilliance.

“You there, you’re the witch Sharon, right?” One day, a portly older man approached her. He held out a business card. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Hmm…?” Sharon took the card. Apparently, this rotund man was a state official, and he told her that he had come to ask for her help.

“Near our city, there’s a forest, and the truth is that recently, we’ve been having trouble with a group of thieves that live there. They raid our city and rob us blind. Lately, they’ve been stealing clothes that are headed for market. They’re a really troublesome bunch.”

“In other words, you’re having a problem with highway bandits. Is that right? That’s too bad—” Sharon nodded self-importantly, chin in hand.

The official stared at her, so full of confidence, then continued, “So…we’re asking you to exterminate these bandits for us.”

“Um…”

“You’re a witch, right? We want you to punish them once and for all.”

“Uh…w-well, um, just hold on a second…”

There was no way she could do it. After all, she was just a simple girl who longed to be a witch.

“Can we count on your help, Witch Sharon?”

Is this guy serious? There’s no way I can deal with something like that!

On the other hand, Sharon knew that if she refused, her reputation as a witch, which she had worked so hard to build with her sewing, would be done for.

Sharon was very troubled over how to answer, but she knew that if she showed even the slightest hint of worry, she might seem suspicious, so she kept her expression calm as she muttered to herself, “Hmm… What to do…?”

That’s when it happened.

“Hyaaah! Listen up, worms! We’ve come to take your clothes again!”

The thieves from the forest arrived. Each of them wore great bunches of fabric wound around their waists. They all carried vicious-looking cudgels. Sharon thought they seemed less like thieves and more like cavemen, but she didn’t have much time to appreciate the irony behind a group of nearly naked clothes thieves.

“It’s Lady Sharon! She came right away! Please help us!”

“Miss Sharon! Help us, please!”

“Teach these thieves a lesson!”

The residents of the town saw their opportunity and pushed Sharon forward until she was squaring off against the thieves.

“Uh-huh? Hang on…um…!”

Sharon was forced to meet the thieves face-to-face.

“Huh? Who the hell is this? What’re you lookin’ at, missy?!”

Sharon was quaking in her shoes, wondering what she could possibly do to the scary group before her, but—

“Miss Sharon’s here now, so you guys are done for! Whoo-hoo!”

“You better watch your backs, you bozos!”

“Morons!”

The crowd of excited townsfolk had cut off any hope of a retreat.

“Now, wait a second…”

Sharon would have loved nothing more than for them to stop talking her up.

Meanwhile, the thieves, antagonized by the citizens, barked their reply.

“Oh…so you’re a witch? What’s your business with us? Don’t tell me you’ve buddied up with these people and plan to fight us… You really think you stand a chance?”

About ten thieves had come to town that day. If Sharon had been a real witch, she could have dealt with all of them in the blink of an eye, but she was just a simple girl.

“Come on, don’t be rude. For your own sakes, you’d better tuck your tails between your legs and run along.” Despite her apparent disadvantage, Sharon wore her perpetually smug expression.

Her escape route had disappeared, so you could say she had gone on the offensive.

“Me at full power against all of you…? It’s no contest.”

No contest, indeed. But her witchy appearance and unusually high confidence led the thieves to misinterpret her words.

“All right, then in that case, I’ll take you on.” The man who appeared to be the leader of the gang pulled a handgun from the fabric around his waist. “Do you know what this is?”

“…Humph!” Sharon laughed through her nose.

Huh? No way. They brought guns? Not just those cudgels? Aaah!

Internally, she was terrified…

“Even guys like us know how much trouble witches can be. But we also know that witches are only strong ’cause they can use magic. If I don’t give the witch a chance to use her magic, she doesn’t amount to much!”

That was true of witches. However, his opponent was just an ordinary girl.

“W-wait just a moment. You want to use that against me? …Are you insane?”

Sharon was beginning to panic. There was little she could do about a weapon like that. A single shot could very well kill her.

“Hmm…you plannin’ on beggin’ for your life?” The leader of the thieves didn’t seem inclined to listen to such pleas. “But it’s too late now, anyway! I’m gonna make you regret standin’ up to us!”

The lead thief didn’t give Sharon a chance to explain; he just pulled the trigger.

“Hyaaah!” Sharon winced and curled into a ball.

The explosive gunshot echoed throughout the city.

“Grrraaaaaaaaaaaahhh!”

Down fell the leader of the thieves.

Allow me to explain what took place in that single moment.

The leader of the bandits had indeed fired his gun at Sharon. However, he wasn’t used to handling a firearm and missed his target. The bullet didn’t even graze her. Instead, it hit a nearby garbage can, ricocheted off a lamppost, bounced off a pot lid held by a woman from the neighborhood who was out for a walk, then flew around this way and that until it finally hit the bandit leader directly in the knee.

Thanks to this miraculous sequence of events, Sharon was entirely unscathed.

“U-unbelievable! The boss’s gun didn’t have any effect…!”

“That witch— She did something just then!”

“She used magic even though she’s not holding a wand… How is that possible?”

“Incredible! I didn’t know witches could do stuff like that!”

The gang of thieves huddled, marveling at the miracle. With their leader out of the fight, they obviously had no idea what to do. The gang was milling around in a panic like a beheaded insect.

“Kuh…! You bastards! Withdraw for now!”

Eventually, with a shout from their leader, who had lost his fighting spirit along with his kneecap, the thieves ran away all of a sudden.

“I’ll remember thiiiiiiiiis!”

The other thieves chimed in with their own parting remarks as they fled.

“……” Sharon had curled up in terror, and before she knew it, the thieves had run away. She was rather bewildered by this mysterious turn of events, but when she stood up, she was wearing a triumphant expression.

“That was my special move just now.”

If I had been there, I would have smacked her on the head and told her not to get carried away, but to the townspeople, she was their savior.

“Incredible! That’s our Lady Sharon!”

“Long live Miss Sharon!”

“Sharon is so great!”

“With her around, we have nothing to fear!”

“Amazing! Somebody hold me!”

They crowded around her with so much enthusiasm that it seemed like they might toss her into the air at any moment.

Of course, despite her outward confidence, Sharon was still just a teenage girl. She understood perfectly the dangerous situation she had just created.

Huh? If I stick around, won’t that gang come back looking to settle the score…? And next time, I’m sure to be done for… Waah!

It was unthinkable.

If she didn’t escape right away, she was bound to get dragged into whatever troublesome things were to come.

“Humph…” And so, wearing her triumphant expression, she said, “It is unfortunate, but I must be going now. I’m just an ordinary traveler, after all.”

First of all, she thought, I have to leave this city as soon as possible.

“That’s our Sharon! I bet you’re planning to go take out the thieves’ headquarters!”

“Uh?”

“You’re pretending to leave the city, but you’re actually gonna go choke the life out of those guys, right? That is so Sharon.”

“No…um…”

“Hooray for Sharon!”

“Hooray!”

“Hooray!”

“Amazing! Somebody hold me!”

“Waah…”

Even if she was just a teenage girl, Sharon was such a people pleaser that it was almost sad. There was only one way she could reply to the townspeople.

“Humph…all right, leave it to me! It’ll be a piece of cake for me to take on those thieves!”

Of course, if I had been there, I would have smacked her on the head and told her not to get carried away.

“Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Sharon. My strengths include sewing and lying.”

“You just came right out and said it!”

“My weaknesses include bugs, and ghosts, and humans, and demons, and dark places, and bears, and fish, and mushrooms, and all sorts of other things.”

“I’m amazed you’ve made it this far.”

“As I mentioned in the tale I’ve just told you, I seem to have been roped into launching an attack on the thieves’ hideout that lies just ahead.”

“Sure seems that way. Good luck with that! See ya.”

I turned around and walked away.

“W-wait, please!” Sharon grabbed my hand in a panic. “Please help me! If I go in like this, I’ll die!” She was already starting to tear up.

“Wait…but didn’t you voluntarily accept the job…? It’s got nothing to do with me.”

“Don’t say that! You can get a lot of money if you take down the thieves! I can split the reward money with you! Honest!”

“But I don’t really need money, so…”

“All right, then think of it as an act of mercy!”

“I don’t have time to help a stranger.”

“Please! Help me! I beg of you! I’ll die! Seriously, I’m gonna die!” Sharon had quickly gone right past the teary-eyed stage, and her face was now covered in snot. Big tears were streaming down her cheeks.

Her cute face was a mess, and at the same time, her triumphant expression had morphed into something enormously pitiful.

“……”

She was clinging to my robe and wouldn’t let go. It was only a matter of time before she would likely do something foolish, like dirty my robe.

I had a feeling that even if I managed to ditch her here, this girl would chase me to hell and back, whining the whole way. That’s how clingy she was—both the girl and her mucus.

“…Ugh.” And so, after letting out a huge sigh, I said, “…Well, fine then. I get it. I guess I can help you.”

“Humph, so you finally feel like helping me, do you? Well, try not to drag me down, heh—”

“Bye.”

“Aaah, wait! It was a joke! I was kidding! It was just a joke!”

Sharon clung to my arm.

“Please don’t get too carried away.” I brought my fist down and bopped her on the head. “More importantly, why are you always putting on an act? Is there some reason for it?”

At my words, Sharon made the expected triumphant expression and answered me with a hand on her chin. “Everyone likes it when I act this way.”

“So…it’s safe to say that everyone around you is an idiot, then?”

“How rude! This is my identity.”

In what way is lying all the time an identity?

“So where is the thieves’ hideout?” I was already getting desperate to wrap this up. “Show me to it. I’ll clean it out promptly.”

Allow me to prove that a gang of idiots in makeshift loincloths are nothing when confronted by a real witch.

Deep in the forest, we found the thieves’ hideout easily enough.

“That’s the gang’s headquarters over there. There are two lookouts at the entrance.” Sharon suddenly peeked her head out from the cover of the tall grass and scowled at the entrance to the cave that was serving as the hideout. “The leader, who I defeated, is probably hidden away inside.”

“…It wasn’t really you who defeated him, though, was it?”

He took himself out, didn’t he? Lying hasn’t done you any favors so far.

“Listen up! That is the only entrance and exit. Meaning that until we take out those two lookouts, we can’t get inside. That’s where you come in. I want you to get those two under control.”

When you put it that way, it sounds like you’re going to take care of everyone except the lookouts…

“By the way, if that’s the only way in, it must be the only way out, right?”

“That’s right.”

“In that case, couldn’t we take them all out at once if we tossed a bomb or something inside?”

“We can’t! As witches, it would be against our moral code to do something that fiendish!”

“……”

It seemed Sharon thought a little too highly of witches. She must have been under the delusion that all witches were upright and incorruptible, that we were flawless beings beyond reproach. It made me want to whisper into her ear that witches were only human and also broke the rules and committed heinous acts from time to time. I wanted to shatter that sickly sweet illusion of hers. I didn’t, though.

“All right, this is your chance to shine. If you’re really worthy of wearing that brooch…show me what you can do!” Somehow, Sharon was looming over me from above. She snorted through her nose and leaned against a tree trunk, then jerked her thumb toward the cave. “When I give the signal, you attack those two punks.”

Why has the discussion turned toward me taking out two guys all alone…?

“Assuming I defeat the two lookouts, what do we do after that?”

“Then you go inside and beat the rest of the gang.”

“And what will you be doing in the meantime?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’ll be waiting here for your return! Hmm-humph!”

“So basically, you won’t be lifting a finger. I see.”

You’re happy giving people orders and then relaxing peacefully in the shade.

“I suppose not—because unfortunately, as you can see, I’m in quite a state!”

As she spoke, she pointed at her knees.

“……” I lowered my gaze and looked at them. “They’re really shaking, huh?!”

That they were.

She was trembling with fear. Her knees were knocking so hard I thought they might crack. A newborn fawn would have been steadier on its feet.

“If I go out there like this, I’ll probably die, so…” Sharon stuck her tongue out impishly.

“……”

I wasn’t sure how to respond.

In this situation, it would’ve actually been more convenient—for several reasons—for her to lead the charge while I provided support. I had never visited the city that had made the request for the extermination of the thieves, meaning that if I were to attack them, it would be the same as a random person appearing out of the blue and assaulting them for no reason. If things went poorly, there was even a possibility that I would receive no reward. I hate having my time wasted.

Besides, it wouldn’t have been right to let Sharon get away with foisting the entire job off onto a stranger.

Let’s make sure she earns her part of the reward…

I conspicuously looked over her shoulder at the tree behind her back.

“By the way, Sharon.”

“Yes?”

“Can you remind me what your weaknesses are again?”

“Bugs, and ghosts, and humans, and demons, and dark places, and bears, and fish, and mushrooms, and all sorts of other things.”

“Hmm…is that right? There’s a spider on your shoulder.”

“………Hmm?” Sharon flicked her eyes over to her shoulder.

A little spider was climbing it with unsteady steps.

“……” Sharon was silent.

“……” I was silent.

And then…

“Hyaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!”

“Ah, hang on—”

Ignoring my attempt to stop her, Sharon bolted from the spot at full speed. Thrown into a panic, she forgot the shakiness of her legs and made a beeline for the entrance to the thieves’ hideout.

Her unexpected actions surprised even me, so the two thieves on lookout duty were definitely caught off guard. The two men were startled by Sharon appearing so suddenly from the shadows, and they shouted, “H-hey, what the hell are you doing?!” But a moment later, they seemed to realize who it was.

“H-her…! It’s the witch from before! She’s come to attack us!”

“Shit…! Planning to drive us from our home, is she?!”

They gripped their cudgels and immediately prepared for a fight. Their reactions were a little too quick.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!”

Then Sharon, still shrieking in fear over a little spider, charged directly at the pair of bandits.

They turned to face the approaching witch, brandishing their cudgels.

“Damn witch!”

One of them swung his cudgel like a bat, from the right.

“Die!”

The other swung from the left.

“Hyaaah!” Just before both cudgels smashed her flat, Sharon let out an aggressive shriek and fell to the ground. Her legs must have gotten tangled up under her.

The two cudgels cut through the air, missing their marks, and each slammed into the side of the face of the other man. They had each thrown their whole weight behind the attacks, and their heads made dull thudding sounds on impact.

“Gwah…!”

“Ngah…!

The two lookouts uttered wordless exclamations as they bashed each other.

Plainly put, our adversaries had once again defeated themselves.

“Ugh… Th-that hurt…”

By the time Sharon stood back up, on the verge of tears, the two lookouts had already passed out on the ground.

“Huh? What’s going on…?”

She had fallen and gotten back up, only to find that her enemies were unconscious. Her confusion was perfectly reasonable.

Though the truth was that I had pushed her from behind with a spell to make her fall, using considerable force to make sure she wasn’t hit by the cudgels.

“…It couldn’t be…” Sharon got up and turned around to look at me. “Don’t tell me, this is…!” She seemed to have guessed the truth. “Perhaps my magical abilities have finally begun to bloom…?” Uh-oh, she didn’t guess a thing.

I crawled out from my hiding spot and shook my head. I took a step toward her. “No, um…this is very difficult for me to tell you, but…”

“Ah, no. Elaina, you don’t have to say a word. I understand.” Her eyes were sparkling. “So this is my true power…!”

“Nope…”

You still don’t understand a thing, do you?

“I know, I thought it was strange at first, too. But it didn’t seem like a coincidence when I defeated the leader of the thieves, either. And this time, I fell with miraculous timing, almost as if someone had extended a helping hand, right? This is my magic. I know I’m not wrong.”

“No, you’re definitely wrong.”

Totally wrong. Entirely off base. What do you even think magic is?

I shook my head. “Just now, you see, I used a spell—”

“Oh-hoh! Could you possibly be jealous of my magical talents? Hmm-humph!” The girl who had been on the verge of tears just a moment ago was nowhere to be found. In her place was the usual Sharon, earnestly wearing a smug expression. “Without even holding a wand, and with no intention of doing so, I instinctually cast spells. Surely that’s how I defeated not only the thieves’ leader, but these two lookouts as well, right?”

No, that’s not right. That’s totally inaccurate.

I’ve heard of delusions of grandeur, but this is ridiculous.

“Who knew I had such an ability…?”

The ability to escape reality?

“Listen, Sharon, just now, I—”

Once again, I tried to show her the error of her ways, tried to pull her out of her escapism, but her ears were no longer capable of hearing me.

“Look, Elaina.” Wearing a triumphant expression, Sharon tossed her hair with a flourish. “Now that I know I can use magic, there’s no need for me to hold back. I can make quick work of this dejected den of thieves all by myself!”

“No, um—”

“All right! I’m off!”

“Um—”

“I guess you can wait here, then! Wait for my return after defeating the thieves!”

“……”

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” Laughing loudly like some kind of broken toy, Sharon dashed into the cave. She didn’t even try to conceal herself. She was pumped full of misplaced confidence. It was practically spilling out of her.

“Ummm…”

My calls to her were in vain, and soon, she had disappeared from view.

……

Maybe she hit her head too hard…?

“Wha…?! It’s the witch from before! She came to lay waste to our hideout—gah!” The man collapsed.

“Shit…! She’s really strong! Watch out, you guys—gah!” The man beside him collapsed.

“What’s with this woman…?! Is she a monster? Shit! Call for backup—aaah!” Even the man watching from a distance collapsed.

The men who faced off against Sharon fell over for no reason, one after another, as if their legs had been yanked from under them by some unseen force. Once they had fallen, they said, “Wh-what’s this…? I’m suddenly so sleepy…” before passing out.

Well, what do you suppose could be going on here? It’s almost like they were knocked over and put to sleep by magic.

Even as she watched the approaching thieves collapse one after another, Sharon still seemed to believe she was somehow causing it.

“Humph…you’re lucky I’m letting you off easy,” she said smugly, knocking down enemy after enemy as they approached.

Honestly, if she’s going to talk a big game, she could at least come up with some better one-liners…

Men appeared from the shadows, brandishing cudgels, only to fall unconscious before getting anywhere near her. One of the enemies seemed to realize that he couldn’t get close to her and threw his cudgel from a safe distance, but just before it hit her, it bounced off of some kind of mysterious force field and took the man out.

From up close or from afar, no attack could hit her.

There stood Sharon, completely invincible.

“……”

Well…

What that means is that I was behind her, handling all the attacks that came at her. I knocked down each and every one of the men holding cudgels, then put them to sleep. And yet, Sharon still hadn’t so much as noticed my assistance.

Sharon had, as expected, taken center stage, while I took a backseat and provided support, and that’s how things had developed, but—

“All right, you all can come at me from any angle! I’ll take every last one of you down!” Sharon was definitely getting carried away.

“Kuh…we can’t get anywhere near her…!”

“We can’t win, no matter where we attack from…!”

The men recoiled from the fight.

“……” I stood in the back, silent.

How has she not noticed me yet? It doesn’t make any sense and isn’t very satisfying.

I continued knocking down bandit after bandit, keeping a healthy distance between myself and Sharon as we advanced into the cave, but what I really wanted to do was give the girl a good smack on the back of the head and tell her to dial it down a little.

“……”

Inside was a strange sight. The cave was full of clothing—a huge number of garments obviously stolen from surrounding cities, in every make and style, from the lightest summer garb to the thickest winter wear, all of it strewn about in total disarray. There were even piles of underwear and shoes, as well as several stacks of fashion magazines.

It was a mystery.

The biggest mystery was that almost all these clothes had the tags removed, and they had all clearly been worn. Many garments were lying crumpled on the floor of the cave as if they had been stripped off and left where they lay.

I couldn’t help but wonder why the bandits had hoarded all the clothing here. If they meant to resell the clothes, why had they already been worn, and what were they doing lying discarded in a cave? Actually, it wasn’t clear why these half-naked brigands were collecting clothes at all.

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! If you won’t come attack me, maybe I’ll come after you!”

“……”

Even more of a mystery was Sharon’s reckless behavior. When it wasn’t clear whether the bandits were going to do anything, Sharon launched her own suicide attack.

“Eeek! She’s terrifying!”

“Please, stop already! We surrender!”

“Somebody help!”

The thieves turned their backs on the approaching girl and tried to run for it, but they weren’t able to escape her mighty spells.

“Guaaah!” One man tripped over nothing and fell right to sleep.

“Sh-shit! This—” One man tried to unleash a counterattack, but he, too, fell asleep.

“E-eeek! Help—” Another man tried to flee but was put to sleep all the same.

I may be repeating myself, but all of this came to pass because I was pulling the strings from the shadows.

“Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! No longer can anyone stop me!”

I’m sure I’m repeating myself, but all of this came to pass because I was pulling the strings from the shadows.

That part is important, so I said it twice.

“Shit… Damn yooouuu!”

The thieves were almost completely annihilated.

The last man standing, their leader, grabbed his gun and pointed it at Sharon—but immediately, the muzzle was frozen over with ice, and then he, too, was put to sleep.

And that was how Sharon defeated the bandits—a normal girl, who was only dressed as a witch.

“Humph…piece of cake.”

I know I’m repeating myself, but all of this came to pass because I was pulling the strings from the shadows.

“……”

What is this strange empty feeling? I mean, everything worked out okay, right?

“I’m really amazing…!”

I wanted to smack her on the head immediately and tell her not to get carried away, but I didn’t want to risk damaging what little brains she had. I kept my fist in check and let out one long sigh.

After that, Sharon emerged from the cave, saying, “Elaina! As you can see, my powers made quick work of the gang! How about that? Hmm-humph!”

I fixed her with a thousand-yard stare more chilling than anything a dead fish could pull off. “Ohhh, is that so?” I replied. “Wooow, how amazing. You totally defeated them, didn’t you?”

Sharon’s enthusiasm would not be curbed. “Hmm-humph…this is it, my true power!”

The devil on my shoulder grinned wickedly and whispered to me, “Wouldn’t it be interesting to show her the truth?”

But the angel on my shoulder put a stop to that: “You mustn’t! What do you think would happen to her if you did something like that?” But even the angel of my conscience was ready to give up. “That girl won’t believe anything we tell her anyway!”

At any rate, Sharon led me into the cave and showed off the thieves whom I myself had put to sleep.

For the time being, we bound them up with rope. We tied every last one of them up, and as we were dragging them deep into the cave, all of them snapped awake, almost as if it had been planned that way.

The timing was such that it didn’t seem like a coincidence.

“Humph. I was just wishing they would open their eyes.”

Well, actually, I just dismissed the sleeping spell. But I’m already sick of this, so sure, you go with that explanation if you like.

As they awakened, the thieves soon recognized their situation and twisted their faces into grimaces.

“Wha…what is this…?!”

“Shit…we must have lost to her…”

“Do with us what you will…!”

“Huh? There’s one more witch…”

“Oh, there is.”

Of course, Sharon got all worked up again.

“Hmm-humph! I hold your very lives in my hand! How do you like it? How does it feel to be utterly defeated by a witch?”

There was nothing the men could say in response to her words. It was clear that she was doing a good job antagonizing them, but they seemed to be enduring it.

To keep her from getting even more carried away, I held Sharon back with one hand and tossed out the question, “You, bandits! Why were you stealing clothes?”

But the men didn’t answer me right away. They looked back and forth, reluctantly whispering about who was going to tell me, then urging that someone hurry up and say something, nudging each other with their elbows.

After waiting for a few moments, the one who finally opened his mouth to speak was the thieves’ leader.

“…Because we don’t have any.”

Sharon and I cocked our heads in unison.

“Huh?”

“What was that?”

“Because we don’t have any clothes…,” the leader said, “to wear when we go buy clothes…”

Sharon and I looked at each other in confusion. Obviously, neither of us had any idea what that was supposed to mean.

“…Huh?”

“What are you saying?”

“Well, you see…we don’t have any clothes to wear when we go buy clothes.”

Once again, the thieves’ leader grumbled his excuse, explaining nothing. Sharon and I stared at him, entirely baffled by this new nonsense. Though, actually, considering that the whole group was wearing nothing but makeshift loincloths, I suppose he wasn’t lying.

The bandit leader hesitantly told us the story of their group bit by bit, blushing all the while as if he was incredibly embarrassed.

According to him:

The gang had formed out of a group of hopeless men from nearby towns who all had the distinct misfortune of being simultaneously poor, ugly, and unfashionable. Understandably, they had very low self-esteem, especially in the realm of appearances. Most of them had come to resent the very idea of fashion. No matter what they wore, no matter what they tried, they only felt irritated with themselves.

What’s worse, when they tried to shop, predatory boutique staff would appear before them, saying things like, “Goodness me! Are you shopping for a certain look?” With sweet words, they would lure the men in, crowing, “This item should suit you quite well, sir! Won’t you try it on?” Once they were dressed, the staff would come in for the kill, relentless despite the fact that the nearby mannequins looked much better wearing the garments. “Oh, that looks wonderful!” The men were sick and tired of it.

In the leader’s opinion, his men weren’t even qualified to visit boutiques. Once, he had stepped foot in a boutique wearing his own clothes and could practically hear the staff members’ inner voices disparaging him. “Huh? Did this guy really come into our shop dressed like that? Gross.” It was probably an auditory hallucination, though.

In any case, these men wanted to buy good clothes, but they were caught in the contradiction of having no clothes with which to go buy clothes. As a result, for some time now, the brunt of their anger had been directed into a building resentment for the whole fashion industry, and they had gone on a crime spree, attacking boutiques and stealing clothes.

Which means…

In short…

It was just an ordinary case of misplaced resentment.

“But…no matter how much we stole and stole, it was never enough…” A single tear rolled down the bandit leader’s cheek. “We didn’t know what suited us…or even if they make clothes for awful men like us… That anxiety followed us around constantly, and ultimately, no matter how much we stole, we didn’t want to wear any of it and just tied everything around our waists like loincloths…”

So if nothing you put on suits you, it’s better to go without clothes, is that it?

That explained why they had wound scraps of cloth around their waists, taken up their cudgels, and started stealing clothes, caveman-style. They weren’t selling the stolen garments at all—as the huge piles of well-worn clothing and stacks of fashion magazines attested.

“I see.”

Sharon nodded after she had finished listening to the story.

And then, with another smug look, she said, “So in other words, if you all had clothes that suited you, you would never do something like this again, right?”

As she spoke, she looked deeper into the cave—at the piles of clothes that had been discarded there.

She looked just a little bit happy.

“Wow…we did a really good job, huh…?”

“That we did…”

Later that day, when we emerged from the cave, I had huge bags under my eyes.

We had discovered that these thieves were not hardened brigands. They were just a bunch of unhappy locals. In other words, if we solved their problem, the gang would disperse.

Earlier, Sharon had puffed out her chest and said, “All right, leave it to me! You’re in good hands, boys!”

She had a plan.

“Elaina, you help me, too, okay?”

As she said this, she had started gathering up all of the clothes that were scattered around the cave.

“…What are you planning to do?”

Sharon piled everything she’d gathered up into a huge mountain of cloth and said, “I’m going to make clothes for them.” She spoke calmly, as if it was no big deal. “I’m going to design the clothes, and then you can use magic to whip them up right away.”

“……”

In other words, we were going to make custom clothing for all of these men who had otherwise stooped to half-naked thievery. If something didn’t fit, we would resize it, and if anyone didn’t have something great, we would create it using the piles of clothing in the cave as raw materials.

In doing so, Sharon would solve their problem.

“…I see.”

I had no objections. It was a much more wholesome method than taking them down by force.

Anyway, we set up shop and churned out clothes for several dozen men.

The men, whose self-esteem had been badly damaged by cruel treatment at the hands of boutique staff, were uncertain at first. They stared at the clothes we made, questioning, “But…these clothes… Do they really suit me, I wonder…?”

However…

“Hey, hey, you jerks! There’s no way an outfit coordinated by yours truly would look bad on you, got it?” Here, Sharon’s peerless self-confidence was on full display. “The clothes I make are top-quality. You would know that if you looked at my robe, wouldn’t you?”

I was extremely curious to know exactly where this confidence was welling up from, but for the time being, I decided to stay quiet and play along.

“And my magic is top-quality, too, so that means if you put on the clothes we make, you’ll be ready to face any situation, without a doubt,” I added, surprised to find that I was wearing the same triumphant expression as Sharon this time.

And so, the two of us made clothes for all the thieves, then went back to the city that had commissioned Sharon to hunt them down.

Coming out to meet us, in all our exhaustion, were the awfully excited citizens.

“Lady Sharon! Unbelievable, you came back…!”

“Did you defeat them?!”

“That’s our Sharon!”

“With Sharon around, we’ve got no one to fear!”

“Long live Miss Sharon!”

“Hooray!”

“Hooray!”

“Amazing! Somebody hold me!”

“Huh? Who’s that witch beside her…?”

“Hey, dummy, that’s Miss Sharon’s assistant, of course.”

“I see! That’s our Sharon!”

The noise made me want to plug my ears against the clamoring, but beside me, Sharon was sucking up all the energy from the people, and she suddenly regained her vigor.

“Hmm-humph! Well, a sorry bunch like that was nothing to me!”

She tossed her hair and gave them a triumphant smile.

Even with bags under her eyes, her powers of performance were inarguable.

“Wow! What an incredible result, Lady Sharon!” The overweight city official extended both hands to her in welcome. Politely, ever so politely, he then exchanged a handshake with her, and presented her with a great many gold coins. “This is your reward. Please take it.”

“Hmm-humph!” With a smile still pasted on her face, Sharon accepted the money. “Well, if you ever have another request for me, don’t hesitate to say so. I’ll always come to the rescue!”

“You’re only going to get wrapped up in more trouble if you say stupid things like that…,” I whispered quietly beside her.

To the two of us, the official said, “Ha-ha-ha! How reliable!” He laughed, his rotund belly shaking.

After that, he seemed to look past us, scanning left to right. “By the way…,” he asked, tilting his head inquisitively, “whatever happened to all the stolen clothing?”

“……”

“……”

Sharon and I both averted our eyes.

After that, we left the city together.

Having completed her obligations, Sharon was returning to her travels. I, too, had finished the troublesome business I had gotten caught up in, so like her, I intended to resume my journey, but…

After walking for a short while, around the time we lost sight of the city behind us, Sharon stopped and said, “I guess this is where we say good-bye, since I can’t ride on a broom.”

“……”

Of course she couldn’t ride a broom. She didn’t actually have any magic, after all. Though I still hadn’t told her about all the help I’d given her back at the bandits’ cave. If I let her continue with her misunderstanding, it wouldn’t be good for her.

I had followed her lead and stopped walking, and I stood there silently for a bit.

And then…

“Thank you for today, Elaina,” Sharon said, pressing a parcel into my hands. “This is your reward.”

“……?” I accepted the package, but I stared at it and cocked my head quizzically. “…What is this?”

“Open it.”

“……”

I did as I was told and opened the package.

Inside was half of the gold she had received earlier from the city official.

That, and a white dress, a lovely one-piece garment that looked perfect for the coming summer season.

“In the cave, you were protecting me, weren’t you? This is my way of saying thanks.”

She spoke plainly.

“…You noticed?”

Sharon nodded in the affirmative.

“I know better than anyone that I’ve got no magical abilities.”

“……”

“I know I can’t use magic, but for just a little bit, I felt like I was a real witch. So thank you for that.”

And here I was certain that she actually believed she had spontaneously developed magic…

“So you matched your movements to mine and pretended the whole time?”

With Sharon, it was always hard to tell if she was being serious or joking.

“Yep,” she replied, wearing a carefree smile. “Lying is part of my identity, after all.”

It was a smile very well-suited to a normal girl her age, much better than the smug look that had been plastered all over her face before.

“I think the way you look now is much more you than the version that lies and pretends to be a witch.” I returned her smile.

But Sharon snorted. “Humph! I’m afraid I can’t accept that advice.” That identity of hers was on full display. “You see, thanks to everything that happened, I like mages even more than before.”

“Which was that? A lie, or the truth?”

Sharon smiled at me impishly.

“Both.”