Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 23 - Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

A North God, an Adventurer, and More…

NORTH GOD KALMAN was one of the three heroes who cooperated to slay the Demon God Laplace during the Laplace War. That said, North God Kalman the First—so-called to distinguish him from his successors—was rather boring when compared to his fellow heroes, Armored Dragon King Perugius and Dragon God Urupen. Naturally, he was also less famous. If an exam required students to name the Three Godslayers, no doubt the one the student would struggle to remember would be North God Kalman.

It wasn’t until North God Kalman the Second that the name became famous. The holder of that title was Alex Rybak. He traveled throughout the world, leaving tales of his heroic deeds in his wake. These stories were later recounted by troubadours and novelists who spread the legend even farther. With so many people telling them, the stories took on a sort of life of their own. Point being, the North God was only famous because of the second guy to bear the title.

North God Kalman the First made an appearance in Legend of Perugius, but he was still more of a supporting character than anything else. In it, North God Kalman was portrayed as a swordsman with incredible techniques. How incredible? He was able to defeat Demon King Atoferatofe single-handedly. Those sword skills saved Perugius on multiple occasions. He and his seven companions triumphed on their dangerous journey and survived the Laplace War.

Sure, North God Kalman was impressive in his own right, but he couldn’t manipulate an entire floating fortress like Perugius. He didn’t encroach on Laplace’s territory with twelve subordinates, face Laplace one-on-one like Dragon God Urupen, or have any other notable episodes to make him memorable. Instead, his subtle strength supported the two more renowned members of their trio from the shadows.

There was more to his story than just that, however.

In the wake of the Laplace War, the Demon God’s remaining forces continued to resist across the lands their master had conquered. That was when North God Kalman went on all by himself to face Demon King Atofe. After a protracted battle, he at last claimed victory over her. None knew what happened in the immediate aftermath. What we did know was that he wound up marrying Atofe, forcing her to back out of the battles she was still fighting. The loss of an esteemed warrior like Atofe dealt a heavy blow to the remnants of Laplace’s forces, and so the world was soon at peace once again.

Kalman was truly responsible for putting an end to the entire war. Granted, what he did was positively insane. How else could you classify riding into battle against Atofe alone, beating her, and then marrying her?

Perugius’s legend had painted him in a dim, reserved light, but the facts suggested he was nuts, to put it bluntly. Still, his power was the real deal. I could understand why he’d won so much of Perugius’s hard-earned respect.

This North God Kalman had already passed away long ago. He was a child of man, and human men had a comparatively short lifespan in this world. Atofe, on the other hand, was an immortal demon. She had lived significantly longer than Roxy, Sylphie, or me, and her children inherited that same characteristic. Thus, Kalman’s children enjoyed long lifespans.

The aforementioned Kalman the Second was still alive and well. He was wandering the world, spreading knowledge of the North God Style. The name Kalman didn’t end with him, either, for there was a North God Kalman the Third. He was also known as Alexander Rybak. He was the son of the second generational head and had only recently inherited the name, still being a very young swordsman.

Unlike with the Sword God, there was no rule in the North God Style saying that only one person could hold the title of North God at a time. Thus, two currently held the title. The second generational head was semi-retired at the moment. Kalman the Third was the one listed among the Seven Great Powers, and he was the one researching fighting styles that used other types of weapons besides the sword (among other things).

North God Kalman the Third seemed the most likely candidate for becoming another of the Man-God’s disciples. According to Orsted, the chances were quite high, if not certain, and so he was the next on my list to locate. I was hoping to add the man to our roster of allies before he joined the Man-God. If he already had, then it was my duty to dispose of him.

Judging by what Orsted had told me, Kalman the Third was likely on the Central Continent in the Conflict Zone. He was also, without a doubt, more powerful than me. I would need to carefully assess the situation to confirm whether he was an enemy and discover a foolproof plan for defeating him if that was the case.

Gonna have to really brace myself for this one.

***

Anyway, that was how I wound up bringing Eris with me once more. We set out for the southern part of the Central Continent where the Conflict Zone was located.

The name of this region by itself was unsettling. The place was dotted with countries, settlements, and tribes that couldn’t quite be classified as sovereign nations, and all of them were locked in never-ending warfare with one another. It was like this world’s version of Japan’s Warring States period.

Take a history book, turn the pages back four hundred years, and you’d find this place caught in the final throes of the Laplace War. The Asura Kingdom, located in the western part of the continent where the soil was most fertile, was the only realm that managed to escape destruction and retain its grip over its territories. 

The central and southern regions, where the soil wasn’t quite so rich, hadn’t belonged to anyone at the time. The hopefuls who had survived the war and now wanted to rest flooded to these unclaimed areas and began setting up countries of their own, desiring to turn the areas into bountiful lands of their own.

For a while, there was no strife between them, but as each realm gained more power and their borders became established, they clashed. The situation changed. It began with small skirmishes that ballooned, pulling in every nearby nation. This was the opening act of the Period of Conflict.

The King Dragon Realm was the first nation to extricate itself from the chaos of war in that period. Its capital was planted in the bowels of the continent’s southern region—a less-than-ideal location. Real-estate value aside, its borders encroached on the lair of the King Dragons from which the realm derived its name. The King Dragon Realm formed an execution squad to drive the King Dragons out and successfully claimed the mountain where they had resided. This allowed the Realm to get its hands on mineral resources, and in an instant, they became the strongest of the countries in the southern region.

Like the Oda Nobunaga of the southern provinces, I thought.

At any rate, the King Dragon Realm hoped to use that momentum to claim the territories in the south and began invading its neighbors. They occupied a number of countries along the coast, their names now lost to history, and claimed Sanakia Kingdom, Kikka Kingdom, and Shirone Kingdom as vassal states. Using Shirone Kingdom as a foothold, the King Dragon Realm was poised to move in on the Conflict Zone and conquer the entire area to add to its expansive territories. 

Their plans were thwarted by two countries who intervened: the Asura Kingdom and the Holy Kingdom of Millis. They pressured the King Dragon Realm, warning them that if they invaded the Conflict Zone, Asura and Millis would not stand by and watch it happen. All three signed a pact, agreeing they would not interfere with the Conflict Zone.

Each of these three powers desperately wanted the land in the center of the Central Continent, of course. Each independently came up with the same idea: they would pull the strings of a chosen ruler within the region. Someday, one of the countries would unite the Conflict Zone, and if their chosen champion sat at the helm, they’d make that country their vassal state.

What followed was chaos and war. Each kingdom sent their own spies into the Conflict Zone, where they would infiltrate the ranks of whichever nation was gaining power and making a move to unify the region. Their attempts to hamstring one another would inevitably catapult the promising nation into civil war, causing it to collapse. The territory would either fracture or be invaded and destroyed by its neighbors, sending the dream of a unified region up in smoke.

None of the three nations involved from the outside really minded this. The Conflict Zone provided an import and export industry for military equipment, so even if they couldn’t unify the region and bring it under their control, it was no great loss. It was just one more place with a potentially promising future for them to send their spies. The Conflict Zone was the site of a great cold war, while publicly all three puppeteer nations kept their hands clean.

During the Displacement Incident, Philip and Hilda had found themselves transported here. They were mistaken for spies and died after being tortured. It made sense in the context of the history of the place. I’d have to be careful.

I had already laid the groundwork ahead of time with Millis’s Blessed Child and received a passage permit from Millis’s Missionary Knights. With this, I could easily slip through each country’s borders. Few would be foolish enough to pick a fight with Millis’s Overseas Expeditionary Forces.

It would still be very foolish to let my guard down.

If someone were to claim my permit was a counterfeit, people would likely believe them regardless of the truth. It was all too common for outsiders to be the puppets of foreign powers. They’d dispose of me in an instant if I seemed suspicious. 

The backing of a power like Asura or Millis in the Conflict Zone wasn’t a surefire asset here like it was elsewhere. That was why I had decided to pass myself off as a simple adventurer for this trip. Eris and I made up a two-man squad—a swordsman and a magician. An A-rank duo who had come out this way to adventure into some labyrinths. That was our cover story. North God Kalman the Third was also an adventurer, from what I understood, so it was the perfect excuse for making contact with him.

With all that decided, Eris and I made our way to Gardenia Kingdom’s town of Kide. It was a beautiful place, blessed by the fertile soil so common to the Central Continent. Beautiful Gardenia was only one of many countries nestled in the Conflict Zone.

The architecture here was far more primitive than what you would find in either Asura or the King Dragon Realm. The town lacked an underground sewer system, so the smell of excrement hung heavy in the streets. Meanwhile, the townspeople milling about had a dead look in their eyes, and a group of men in unusually heavy armor kept an inordinately sharp eye out as they went on their guard’s rounds. It wasn’t somewhere I wanted to stay for very long.

According to Orsted, North God Kalman the Third kept a headquarters around this area at the moment. Why would he choose such a dangerous place? I wondered. The man aspired to be a hero. Perhaps so he enjoyed staying in such volatile places, where things were liable to take a sudden, violent turn.

He was already famous among adventurers. There were few in the world who could count themselves among the SS-rank, and he was one of them. That was the pinnacle of the Adventurers’ Guild. Despite all of his success, North God Kalman the Third didn’t have the humility of a master. He boasted and stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. Like, what was he, the protagonist of a light novel or something?

Thankfully, that meant it ought to be fairly easy to get information on him if I visited the local Adventurers’ Guild.

***

Kide’s Adventurers’ Guild was a tired, shabby place. The building itself was old, with noticeable signs of repair throughout, and it was filthy. It made no attempt to varnish the fact that it sat at the center of war and death. To me, it looked like an isolated figure in a desolate waste, almost too tired to carry on.

“That’s why I’m saying we should get moving now while we’ve got the chance!”

Once we passed through the rickety old door to the entrance, a woman’s voice suddenly boomed around us. It was uncannily familiar. I was sure I had forgotten it, but the moment it hit my ears, it came with a rush of nostalgia. Yes, that’s right. That’s what she sounded like.

This was more laid-back than I recalled her being, and despite her shouting, there was something more rational about the way she spoke.

“There’s no way. The front lines are too close. We’ll get swept up in it.”

“But you understand the reality of it, don’t you?”

When I followed the sound of the voice, I found a familiar face to match. Her blonde hair had grown down to her shoulders, and she was a little taller, too. Wait, actually, maybe she’s the same height? Her face certainly looked more mature than I remembered. She had become an adult woman. Her attire looked more expensive and more practical, but her armor was covered in scratches. A bow and quiver—a rare weapon for any adventurer to choose—hung at her back. At first, I thought it was the same primitive one she’d used in the past, but closer inspection revealed it was an impressive composite bow.

When I first met her, she was only a fledgling who maintained a brusque facade so that nobody would speak down to her. Our second chance meeting was in the Magic City of Sharia, where she’d accepted a job as Ariel’s bodyguard—the two of us had just happened to bump into one another. Back then, she’d struck me as the backbone of her party.

“If we move right now, the army’s definitely gonna find us at the border. Whether that’s Gardenia’s army or Nekrina’s, the outcome is the same. I shouldn’t have to spell it out. You know what’ll happen to us, don’t you?”

“But if we don’t move, then Nekrina’s army may storm this town!”

“Or maybe not.”

“Same could be said for us making a move now. They might not find us, either!”

This woman looked much more like a veteran after all this time. She was trading opinions with a woman I presumed to be the party leader. Sure, the words sounded argumentative, but her voice was too steady for it to be a serious fight. The other people around them—I assumed other party members—didn’t strike me as overconfident. They weren’t deathly pale and overcome with despair, either. They were simply standing there, waiting for their leader to come to a final decision. Each of them were calmly listening, assessing the circumstances and how best to overcome them.

I had seen a party like this once before. Pretty sure it was an S-rank party discussing stuff before heading into a labyrinth. Perhaps Fangs of the Black Wolf had been the same way. Not that Paul was anywhere near as laid-back as the members of this party.

Parties that reached S-rank weren’t anything like those cobbled together haphazardly; these people had a choice, and it forged a sense of solidarity.

“Ah.”

While I was lost in my reverie, one of the members turned her gaze this way, twirling a strand of hair in her fingers. She was a mage, and she wore pigtails. Did I know her? Pretty sure her name was Alisa or something? She was really attached to Roxy, I remembered. It was hard to forget someone who liked Roxy that much.

Alisa was about fifteen years old when I met her. She’d called all of the members of her party “Elder Sister,” if I recall right. There was nothing childish about her anymore. She, too, had a veteran air about her, even as she simply sat in a chair. No longer was her clothing youthful and cutesy. This was a seasoned mage. If you stood the two of us side-by-side and asked which of us seemed the more reliable choice, she’d be the safer bet.

Maybe that’s only natural. It has been five years.

“It’s Sara’s old fling,” Alisa blurted out.

Her abrupt exclamation jolted the other women into looking up at me. I had gotten used to women looking at me like that. Wonder why? I guess my wives glared at me a few times a day. This went double for the one immediately behind me, who was standing with her legs spread out shoulder-width beneath her. Eris, please don’t glare daggers at me. I’m not the same man I was back then, and we didn’t even go all the way. In fact, my “old fling,” if I have one, is you.

“Rudeus?!” Sara gasped.

In my younger years—or, to be more specific, the years when I was suffering from erectile dysfunction after Eris left me—there had been an archer in the adventuring party who’d looked out for me. Her name was Sara.

“It’s been a while,” I said.

Yes, to this woman, I was the one who got away.

***

Sara and her party, the Amazons, had come to this town having accepted a request from the mission board. It was simple. All they had to do was bring a letter. Pretty common request for the Adventurers’ Guild. The rank associated with it would change depending on the distance and difficulty of delivery, but in general, the reward for it was measly.

Sara’s party had lucked out; this delivery request had a relatively impressive reward with the first half paid upfront. She and the other women had hesitated because the destination was located within the Conflict Zone, but they were short on cash, so they decided to take it on.

It turned out to be as simple as they’d hoped. They had spent five days traveling to get to their destination, where they delivered the missive successfully. It proved to be little trouble and a good break from their regular work.

What happened afterward was what caught them off-guard.

Just as Sara and her party arrived at this town, the war between Gardenia Kingdom and Nekrina Kingdom suddenly heated up. The borders were promptly sealed off for travel, and Sara and her companions were trapped.

A country at war wasn’t a great place for an adventurer to get stuck. Public safety plummeted, fewer missions were posted, and the adventurers in the area were practically conscripted by the Guild to act as mercenaries. Sure, the pay wasn’t half bad, but the fatality rate was ridiculous. No adventurer would willingly partake in such work except for specialists who did it routinely.

The Amazons were a veteran party, but they weren’t killers. They were eager to get out of Dodge, so to speak, as quickly as possible. There was one little problem with this: If they tried to forcibly bypass the border, they risked one of the two armies finding them. Adventurers were a veritable treasure trove of information. The Gardenia army would be none too eager to let information about their own country slip, and the Nekrina army would be chomping at the bit to get their hands on any piece of enemy intelligence. If either army discovered them, they would be caught, and the Amazons were a party of only women. It was easy to imagine what would happen to them afterward.

“So there you have it. Damned if we go, damned if we don’t,” Sara said with a shrug. 

She was currently acting as the party’s second-in-command. One of their leaders had been killed since I last saw them. Sara had been the most veteran party member at the time, which was how she landed her current position. It was heartrending to lose a party member and comrade, but being an adventurer meant walking the thin line between life and death. Such was the nature of the job.

Here, in the present, Sara and her friends were in a serious bind. I wasn’t against the idea of helping them. Are you kidding? If I were to turn a blind eye to an old acquaintance like this when they needed me simply because I was busy with my own work, I’m not sure I could live with myself. What if something horrible happened to them because of that and they all died? If I heard about it later, it’d tear a deep, dark void open inside me.

“I think I can help you out,” I said. “Keep this on the lowdown, but I’ve got a passage permit from Millis. It can get you across the border if that’s what you need.”

The women’s faces lit up at my offer.

“You sure? We don’t exactly have much money on us at the moment, so we can’t really repay you for helping us.”

“I don’t need your coin anyway. You can pay me another way.” I flashed a mischievous smile at them, and every woman’s face instantly hardened. Even Sara was giving me an intimidating look. However, after a moment, her grimace crumbled and gave way to a strained smile.

“Fine. But there’s a lotta girls in our party who’ve got a real hatred for men, so…make do with just me, okay? Though, who knows if you’ll even be able to get it up for me.”

“No, that wasn’t what I meant! I want information, okay! Why’re you all looking at me like that?!”

I guess my mischievous smile had been more of a leer. And here I thought I’d gotten better at it.

“I’ve got three loving wives, thank you. I don’t need any more women!”

“Oh? Too bad. I was thinking we could finally have a do-over of that day,” teased Sara. She was the only one who seemed to understand I’d been joking. Not that I’d intended it as a joke.

“Don’t tease like that, least of all in front of my wife,” I said. “Right, Eris?” I glanced back at her to find her in her usual pose.

Eris grunted. “Rudeus won’t even touch my breasts right now. There’s no way he would mean it that way!”

Ah ha! See, this is the kind of trust you build by being an all-around decent guy. Eris was exactly right, too. I wasn’t exactly short on willing women. If I needed to, I could wait until bedtime, feel up Eris’s breasts all I wanted, and wake up the next morning relieved and refreshed. Wait…would that mean she’d lose her faith in me again?

Having heard what Eris had to say, the women of the Amazons looked very relieved. That settled one problem…and another immediately cropped up.

Sara’s face had grown dark. “Eris?” she asked.

“What?” Eris snapped at her.

“Eris, as in the woman who abandoned Rudeus?”

Uh-oh.

“I didn’t abandon him.”

“Oh, yeah? Rudeus said you did, though. I guess he forgave you for it and let you marry him, then?”

That hostility was obvious enough that both me and Eris picked up on it. Eris’s face scrunched, annoyed at the other woman’s audacity. This really, really isn’t good. You’d better knock it off, Sara. This is the one person you seriously don’t wanna pick a fight with. She’s not gonna let you play this off as a joke.

“Sara, drop it,” Alisa said with a teasing tone. “Bickering with the wife isn’t how you win a man back.”

“No! That’s not what I’m after!”

This elicited a light chuckle from the crowd. The tension broke, and I let out the breath I was holding.

“So, um, Sara, about that whole thing… There’s some pretty delicate circumstances involved,” I tried to explain. “The two of us had a sort of misunderstanding, or to be more precise, I got the wrong idea…”

“Yeah, I figured. If there weren’t some extenuating circumstances, your other scary bodyguard wife would never have gone back to you.

Other scary wife? Ah, she must be referring to Sylphie. Sara did have a point there. Sylphie had forgiven me for marrying other women, yes, but she was also very picky about who she was willing to accept into our family. She had allowed Roxy and Eris in, but whatever rigid criteria she kept had ruled Nanahoshi out. I was equally remorseful for how I’d handled things, but grateful for her graciousness through the whole situation.

“Well, I’ll let you fill me in on the delicate details later. Now what info is it you’re wanting?” Sara asked.

Finally, she let us get to our actual business here. This whole situation had been tying my stomach in knots, and I hoped the subject wouldn’t come up again.

“Right, see, I’m actually looking for North God Kalman at the moment. We heard he was using this area as his base of operations.”

“North God Kalman?!” cried an unfamiliar girl as she leapt to her feet. She looked about eighteen years old, with chestnut-brown hair and an energetic air about her. There was a sword hanging at her hip, suggesting she was either a swordsman or warrior. A frontline fighter, certainly. She wasn’t part of the Amazons the last time I saw them. “Oh, oh! I know about him! I’m a big fan!”

“So you are!” I said. He’s got himself some fans, huh? Guess that’s to be expected. He is an SS-rank adventurer.

“He was in this area about three years ago. I’ve heard rumors that he’s moved to Hammerpolka!”

Three years ago? Awfully old info for someone who considers themselves a fan, but I guess that’s how it goes. Unlike my previous world, this one didn’t have the benefit of the Internet to track your favorite celebs.

“Hammerpolka is in the Markien Mercenary Country! That’s directly south from here. Oh! Can you believe it? That’s in the exact opposite direction of Nekrina Kingdom! And we just happen to want to cross the border and head to the safer southern region! This is practically a godsend, isn’t it?! Don’t you think, Mr. Sub-Leader’s-Old-Fling?!”

She was awfully glib, not that I minded. She reminded me of Aisha, actually. I worried she wasn’t a fan of North God Kalman at all and was telling me this to help them get out of their jam. Whatever. I’ll just keep an eye out for info to verify what she’s telling me.

“Even if he were in the complete opposite direction of where you guys want to go, I still plan to see you off,” I said.

“Really?! I guess I should have expected such compassion from the sub leader’s former fling! You’re a real peach! Wish we could swap ya with Sara…she’s just got a real tummy pooch!”

My eyes wandered instinctively to Sara’s stomach, which she promptly hid with her arms.

“It is not a ‘pooch!’” Her voice was the most menacing I’d heard all day. I almost ducked behind Eris in fear.

I mean, she was a little thicker, but I was not in a position to judge considering how I’d looked in a previous life. That was for certain.

“Anyway, how about we start heading for Hammerpolka then?” I offered.

With that, the Amazons joined up with Eris and me, and our little party set out to bypass the country’s border.

***

We got through the border uneventfully. I thought perhaps we’d be grilled about how regular adventurers like us came to possess a passage permit from Millis’s Missionary Knights. I’d even cooked up a plausible excuse in case that happened—but the men at the border merely glanced at our pass and, faces drawn in displeasure, let us through. Same face the Amazons had pulled at me earlier, strangely.

“You didn’t steal that or anything, did you? You sure we won’t get in trouble for this?”

“It’s fine. We won’t get in trouble,” I said.

For the pass to prompt such skepticism meant it was a bigger deal than I’d realized. Everyone knew what consequences would await someone who claimed a fraudulent association with Millis’s Missionary Knights. It’d bring the entire Church of Millis down on you.

My future self had left diary entries detailing how the Church had killed off Zanoba and Aisha, so I had an idea of what fearsome enemies they could be. I had obtained it through the Blessed Child in Millis, though, so I wasn’t worried.

“You adventurers there, stop!”

As we made our way along the road, a voice boomed around us. When I glanced over my shoulder, I spotted three horses headed straight for us from the direction of the border. Don’t worry, the horses weren’t the ones who spoke. They weren’t Nokopara. One of the knights riding them had bellowed at us.

When the knights caught up to us, they glared down at us from atop their mounts. They were clad in silver armor inscribed with the Holy Country of Millis’s national flag. These were the Missionary Knights.

The moment the Amazons realized who these people were, they all went deathly pale. In hushed whispers, they asked, “What do we do?! What do we do!” Sara’s hand crept to the short sword at her waist.

I glanced at Eris. She’d already dropped into a battle stance. I threw up a hand to stop them and stepped out in front.

“Is there a problem?” I asked.

“We received a report of a group of people holding a passage permit from Millis. Are we correct in assuming you are that party?”

I nodded. “Yes, that would be us.”

“We have received no contact from the top informing us about you and your party. We will need to inspect your permit.”

Holy crap. It’s only been an hour or so since we used that passage permit and crossed the border. Isn’t this a little fast? Are you telling me the Missionary Knights are everywhere? Scary.

“Perfectly understandable. Please have a look.” I quickly showed the permit to them.

One of the knights snatched it out of my hand and began carefully scrutinizing it. He quickly lifted the visor on his helmet as if shocked, then glanced between my face and the permit in his hand and whispered to one of his comrades. His compatriot produced a mage’s beginner wand, which he used to prod the permit. The jewel capping the wand gave off a pale glow. The men traded glances between each other, nodded, and dismounted from their horses. Soon after their feet hit the ground, they knelt in front of us. The man who’d taken my permit reverently offered the permit back to me, cupping it in his hands.

“Our sincere apologies for such impertinence! We had no idea you were the Lady Blessed Child’s envoy.”

Thank goodness. Looks like we’re cleared of suspicion.

“Not at all. Thank you men for your diligent work,” I said politely, retrieving my permit. To my eyes, all I could see were a number of Millis emblems stamped across the front of the permit, but apparently something about it indicated that it came from the Blessed Child. I guess they’d done more than a routine counterfeit check.

It was a strange feeling, having a group of highly distinguished knights take a knee in front of me like this. Like something out of a period drama.

“I must ask, however, what brings Her Holiness’s envoy out to these parts?”

“I’m searching for someone,” I explained.

“Might we ask who?”

“North God Kalman. Do you know of him?”

The knight nodded. “Yes, but the North God is no longer in this area. We have heard rumors that he left quite a while ago for Hammerpolka. It seems he has recently left that area as well, so his current whereabouts are unknown.”

Crap, really? If he’d already left this area three years ago, it did kind of make sense for him to have already moved on from the new town he’d taken lodgings in.

“I’m also searching for a demon with the face of a monkey. Guy named Geese.”

“A demonfolk? To what end?” The knight’s eyes gleamed with enmity, sending a chill down my spine.

“Well…he’s my enemy. I want to know where he is so I can defeat him,” I said.

“Aha, so that is your aim! I am unaware of the man’s name, but a demon with a monkey face has been spotted recently in Hammerpolka.”

Hey, that is some helpful information. Then again, I didn’t think Geese would be that easy to locate. It could easily be someone else. There was still a possibility that we might bump into him here by sheer coincidence. He was probably moving his pieces on the board, same as I was.

“Should you require it, we could send our fastest rider there to apprehend the man,” offered the knight.

Hm, should I take him up on it? If it was Geese and he realized I was the one having him captured, he’d probably try to escape, wouldn’t he? Hmm.

“How many Missionary Knights do you have at your disposal?” I asked.

“In Hammerpolka, ten.”

“I see. Please capture the man.”

“Yes, sir!”

The leader of the group jerked his chin, giving a signal to one of the knights beside him. Having received his orders, the man immediately climbed back up on his horse, racing off in the direction we were already headed ourselves. I felt a little bad asking them to do this. What I was doing wasn’t official church business, after all.

“Well then,” said the leader, “we will be returning to our mission then.”

“Of course. Thank you so much.”

“Certainly, sir. Though, while I realize it is improper of me to bring this up, if you are a follower of Millis, I question how appropriate it is for you to be traveling with so many women like this.”

“Oh…”

From an outsider’s perspective, it probably looked like I was dragging a whole harem with me. There was actually only one woman in this bunch I was allowed to put my hands on, and that same one would give me a swift punch to the face if I tried it. On the other hand, if I admitted that I wasn’t a follower, things would only get more complicated.

“I have merely hired these women as bodyguards.”

The knight nodded thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t assume otherwise, however…”

“If neither party is inclined to engage in intimate relations, then their sex shouldn’t matter, should it? And for those who are so inclined, being of the same sex would not necessarily stop them from partaking in such acts either. Or am I mistaken?”

The man sucked in a sharp breath. “Yes, as you say, sir! My humblest apologies!”

There were many men in Asura Kingdom who were gay, after all. Beautiful men who surrounded themselves with those of the same sex to form a gay harem. So really, the gender of your party didn’t matter, did it? Fortunately, Millis wasn’t so closed-minded as to forbid homosexuality. Harems were a total no-go, though, for any sex or orientation. At least they were egalitarian about that.

“Please excuse us then!”

The two knights climbed on their mounts and left, looking surprisingly pleased with the answer I had given them. I was simply glad I had managed to dodge any further trouble. At least if they did later discover I wasn’t a follower of Millis, I hadn’t lied to them about that. This shouldn’t cause any problems down the line at least. I hope.

“What?” I asked, noticing the look Sara was giving me.

“Nothing. Just…it was real after all.”

“What, you thought I would use a counterfeit and expose everyone to danger?”

Sara shrugged. “I mean, it’s not something people can get their hands on that easily.”

“Well, I’m in the line of work where this is typical.”

The Orsted Corporation was nothing if not focused on the future. Thus, to protect the well-being of his employees, our CEO had established some impressive connections.

“Yeah? Guess you’ve moved up in the world since I met you. A real big shot.”

I don’t think I’m a big shot, honestly.

***

That evening, we made camp by the roadside. We started two bonfires and assigned someone to guard each one. That wasn’t a suggestion anyone made, either—it was something the Amazons did habitually. I figured, given Sara’s mention that some of the girls really hated men, it was an attempt to get what distance from me they could when they slept.

I wasn’t bothered by it. I wasn’t like those old men who frequented hostess bars and got huffy when the girl they had their eye on wouldn’t stop by their seats. Eris slept beside me, and that was more than enough. If I got truly desperate, I had a little memento from Roxy tucked in my pocket as well.

It wasn’t as though I trusted all the members of Amazons, either. There was a possibility one of the Man-God’s disciples could be hidden among them. For that reason, I decided Eris and I would take turns on our own lookout duty rather than leave it entirely to the Amazons.

Eris planted herself on the ground, back against a tree, her sword cradled in her arms as she drifted off to sleep. Ruijerd used to sleep like that, in that same cool heroic pose. I wondered when she’d picked up that habit. Her face was surprisingly relaxed as she slept. I was used to seeing her disciplined expression even when she was fast asleep, but for some reason she was all smiles tonight.

Maybe she’s having a really good dream. The Eris I knew now was standoffish and didn’t really share her emotions, but at her core, she was no different from before. As heartening as it was to see her mature, it was a bit sad, too.

It was about time for me to tap out and let her stand watch. I almost didn’t have the heart to wake her.

“You’re doing a good job staying awake,” Sara commented as she plopped down beside me. She had two mugs in her hands with towers of steam rising from them. She held one of them out toward me, grunting as if that would be enough for me to understand that I should take it.

“Thanks,” I said, deciding to oblige her. Inside the mug was a relatively opaque red liquid. I’d never seen anything like it before. It didn’t look like tomato soup. When I took a whiff, the smell nearly burned my nostrils. Whatever it was, I suspected it was spicy. “What is this exactly?”

“Alisa’s special soup to ward off drowsiness.”

Uh-huh, some kinda anti-sleep tonic… There’s no poison in this, is there?

“Well,” I said, “I’ll gladly have some, then.”

I couldn’t very well perform detoxification magic right in front of her. She’d really be disgusted with me if I did. Instead, I decided to sip gingerly and test it. 

I let only the smallest amount drip over my tongue, which was just enough for the savory flavor to spread through my mouth. It was only after I had swallowed it down that a belated tingling sensation lingered. I had imagined something fiery hot, but surprisingly, it wasn’t all that spicy. Several seconds later, I felt a warm sensation in my stomach and throat—like the gentle burn of ginger tea.

“It’s delicious.”

Sara grinned. “Right?” She began sipping on her soup as well.

Yes, ma’am. But don’t you think you’re sitting a mite close? If either of us were to lean ever so slightly closer, our shoulders might brush against one another. …Nah. I was probably being too self-conscious.

“Say, Rudeus…” Sara began. “What’re you doing right now?”

“What do you mean?”

At the moment, I was experiencing heart palpitations because I was sitting super close to a girl. Okay, come on, get it together. Yes, I had three wives already. I fully understood how inappropriate it would be to commit adultery. I was also trying to keep a vow of celibacy at the moment. Could anyone genuinely blame me for feeling a little flustered over a beautiful woman sitting so close? I shoved my hand in my pocket, squeezing the fabric inside as I prayed. God, give me strength!

“I mean, I figured you were still in Sharia doing research with the Magicians’ Guild or something like that. Or that you were working as a professor, teaching people magic.”

“Me? A professor?”

“You were good at teaching magic, remember?”

Was I? Had I taught Sara any magic? I couldn’t remember.

Sara went on, “Or I figured maybe you were in Asura Kingdom, working as Princess Ariel’s bodyguard alongside your wife. Wait, I guess she took the crown a couple of years ago, huh? I wasn’t in Asura for all of that, so I’ve got no idea.”

“Yes. I did help her succeed the throne.”

“So, you did help… But it’s not like you’re serving directly under her or anything.”

Ohh. So that’s what she meant when she asked what I’m doing right now.

“I’m serving under someone else,” I said.

“Someone else?”

“Dragon God Orsted.”

“Dragon God…? One of the Seven Great Powers?”

Oh, I guess she knows about them. They’re not all that famous among adventurers, in my experience… That’s surprising.

I nodded. “That’s right. I work as his underling, supporting his goals around the world.”

“So you’re his servant? How in the world did you wind up in that kind of position? Did you submit an application or something and win him over? Like, ‘I swear I’ll be of use to you, so please make me your subordinate!’ Something like that?”

“It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got time. You’re not going to sleep yet, are you?”

I’d intended to switch off with Eris here pretty soon, but…oh, well.

“I guess not. Well, where to start…”

From there, I launched into my story. I began by telling her about the Man-God, and how I’d taken his advice as I traveled. That one day, the Man-God had advised me to go check my basement. How that triggered my future self to come stop me, telling me it would ruin our entire family if I did as the Man-God bid.

But it was already too late.

The Man-God threatened my family’s safety, forcing me into a direct confrontation with Dragon God Orsted. I did everything I could to take him down, but I couldn’t beat him. I was instead left to plead for my life, imploring him to at least save my family. He had refused me, but then Eris swooped in to my rescue. I was nearly dead when Orsted proposed I join his side instead, and I agreed.

“That kicked off my career as his secret operative. I did my best to help put Ariel on the throne in Asura, took part in the war in the Shirone Kingdom, kidnapped the Blessed Child in Millis, and became a princess on the Demon Continent…”

“What about that Geese fellow you mentioned this afternoon?” Sara asked.

“He’s one of the Man-God’s underlings,” I explained. “Right now, I’m trying to cobble together enough offensive power to take him out. One part of that is recruiting North God Kalman.”

“Hmmm…”

I hadn’t noticed when, but I’d drained the rest of the soup in my mug. I had water magic at my disposal, however, so my throat wouldn’t go dry.

“Sounds like it was a good thing for you, meeting up with Orsted.”

I nodded. “You’re right. I sure am glad to have met him.”

“What kind of person is he? The way you talk about him, he sounds like a really nice guy with an open mind.”

“Well, if I were to describe him in the most succinct way possible…” I thought back to all my memories of Orsted. Of when we first established our office, when we ventured to the Kingdom of Asura together, when Cliff and I worked to find a way to combat his curse (or rather, created the helmet to contain it)… Above all, the one thing that stood out in my memory was… “He’s got a scary face.”

Sara burst into laughter.

It was true, though. Yes, Orsted was kind, magnanimous, and broad-minded, but no one could deny he had a scary face. The constant in every memory I had of him was that permanent scowl.

“Pfft… Hehe… Ahaha! What the heck… This guy’s really looked out for you, and all you can say about him is how scary his face is?”

I frowned. “I mean it, he really does. Everyone hates him because of his curse, too.”

“Bwahaha!”

Sara must have found this truly hilarious because for the next few minutes she continued cackling, arms wrapped around her stomach. The only reason she stifled it at all was to avoid waking those who were fast asleep around us.

“Oh, man,” she said at last when she’d calmed down.

“The whole reason I was able to patch things up with Eris was thanks to my fight with Orsted. In a way, Sir Orsted’s kind of like my own personal cupid.”

Sara quirked a brow at me. “A cupid with a scary face?”

“You got it.”

Sara was racked by another fit of giggles that left her choking and coughing. Is it that funny? I don’t understand these kids and their newfangled humor.

“Phew,” she breathed out at last, having recomposed herself. She turned her gaze toward me. Perhaps it was only the light of the bonfire dancing on her cheeks, but it looked as if she was blushing.

Maybe she’s about to admit to having feelings for me… If she does, I’ll have to let her down. Suavely, of course, like a proper man. I already have two wives and a husband, after all. Despite cracking jokes to myself to ease my tension, my whole body froze up in anticipation.

“You sure have changed, Rudeus,” Sara went on. “Even more than since you were the princess’s bodyguard.”

Her eyes misted over. Wow, she was bewitching. My breathing quickened, beads of sweat trickling down my forehead. I shoved my hand into my pocket again, clenching the holy relic within in a tight fist.

“Oh, would you look at the time?” Sara said suddenly, interrupting the moment. “Looks like we got lost in conversation. It’s about time for me to tag out with the next watch.”

“Uh, yeah. Right.”

She immediately pulled away.

I breathed a big sigh of relief.

For some reason, the moment the atmosphere around us shifted in a more intimate direction, my whole body seized up. Lingering trauma from my failure to perform, perhaps.

Someone suddenly plonked themselves on the log beside me, on the opposite side of where Sara had been moments earlier. I could tell instantly who it was without even glancing in her direction; I’d felt her gaze on me for a while now.

“Eris, how long have you been awake?” I asked.

“Since you said that stuff about Orsted being cupid.”

“What would you think, if he really had been our matchmaker?”

“Gross.”

Oof, that was blunt. But maybe it was a given for someone under the effects of Orsted’s curse.

“But if he’s why we got together, then…I-I guess I could be grateful to him,” she admitted reluctantly, leaning her head against my shoulder.

Ahh, I can feel the love.

“Eris?”

“What.” It sounded more like a statement than a question. Typical Eris.

“Let me rest my head in your lap.”

“Fine.”

I adjusted my position, placing my head on top of her thighs. The stiffness I’d felt in my body moments earlier disappeared. I was no longer covered in a cold sweat, either. Maybe Eris had sensed I was being driven into a corner and swooped in to rescue me.

“I’ll keep watch until morning. You can sleep until then,” Eris said.

“Mm. Thanks.”

Eris’s thighs were a little firm to make a good pillow, but they brought me comfort. My little man down south seemed to sense the danger had passed and eagerly lifted his head, but danger or not, he wasn’t going to see any action. Behave yourself, I scolded him, as if he weren’t me.

With that, I fell fast asleep.

***

As we made our way down the highway the next morning, we spotted a monolith jutting up into the sky, large enough we could see it even from a distance. As we grew closer, the smoke that curled up from the base of it came into focus. A town. This was Hammerpolka, which lay on the edge of the Markien Mercenary Country.

When we approached the entrance, we spotted a metal sign standing beside it. It read: Hammerpolka, the Smithing Town. Indeed, Hammerpolka’s smithing industry was thriving. Beneath the towering monolith lay deposits of top-quality minerals, which the townspeople processed into ore. With this, they did a healthy trade with other countries.

As we entered the town, the banging of metal echoed all around us, much like you’d find in a dwarven settlement. Despite this, few referred to this place as a smithing town in practice. They called it Hammerpolka, the Mercenary Town.

If it wasn’t obvious from the name, an enormous mercenary band founded this nation. They’d worked as merchants of death, selling their services to (or practicing them on) their neighbors.

In this economy, Hammerpolka was responsible for the production of military equipment. It was a great place for the mercenaries of the country to get suited up. Eventually, foreign mercenaries also came here for the same purpose. Almost all of the world’s most famous mercenary bands made their headquarters here.

Ruquag’s Mercenary Band was an exception to that rule, as you might expect. What, you think we have a way to go before we’re world famous? Well, maybe. But with Aisha handling it and subcontracting work out, we would get there eventually.

As expected of a town that outfitted mercenaries, a bunch of rough-looking people walked its streets. The atmosphere wasn’t nearly as oppressive as the Sword Sanctum, though, perhaps because this was a relatively safe area. Or it could be because I considered mercenaries to be more level-headed.

Not to say I think Sword God-style swordsmen incapable of basic human conversation, just so we’re clear. It’s just…they have a tendency to use their swords before their words.

Many of the men we saw on the street stole glances at Eris. She would glare back at them, but rather than interpret that as a challenge and pick a fight with her, they would smirk and walk off. We were safe for the moment, but there was no telling when someone would be stupid enough to provoke her. I was terrified we’d have a massacre on our hands if that happened.

“I was worried you were too confident about how smoothly our trip would go, but it looks like we’re here safe and sound.” Sara stopped walking suddenly. “You’ve brought us far enough. You know, you really saved our asses.”

“You sure this is as far as you need me to take you? I could see you out of the Conflict Zone if you want.”

She scoffed, “Even though we can’t pay you? Don’t joke.”

“Come on. It’s not like we’re strangers. You could always pay me with your body if it bothers you that much.” I flashed a smarmy grin, hoping to get a rise out of her. I even made a groping gesture with my hands. All of the Amazons blanched and grimaced at me.

Eris snatched my wrist and glowered at me.

“I-I was only kidding,” I squeaked at her.

“Yeah, I know,” said Sara. “You already had your chance last night.”

“Seriously, Sara, could you stop? She’s gonna shatter the bones in my hand at this rate.” I gently wrapped a hand around Eris’s, coaxing her to stop crushing my wrist, and she finally pulled away.

“We’re not children. We can take it from here,” Sara assured me.

“All right.”

“Besides, seems like you’ve got your own stuff to worry about. We’ll excuse ourselves here, so we don’t get in your way.”

Get in my way, huh… True, if Geese were in this town, there’d be a battle. I couldn’t risk getting Sara and the rest of her party wrapped up in that.

“Even if I did wanna hire you as a bodyguard, my body wouldn’t be enough for you anyway,” Sara said.

I wanted to reassure her that wasn’t true, but judging by what happened last night, she was probably right. Her body wouldn’t work as payment.

“Then this is it,” I said.

Sara nodded. “Yep. I was glad to see you again after all this time.”

“Me too.”

“You sure have changed a lot. I dunno how to put it…you seem more distinguished than before.”

I tilted my head. “I don’t really see how.”

“No, like, I mean…you know. Remember back when the two of us almost got involved? I’ve been an adventurer ever since, always doing the same thing, never changing…”

“I don’t think that’s true,” I muttered. As much as she downplayed it, she seemed far more mature than I remembered. More of an adult.

The more I talked to her, the more I realized the subtle differences. We had only spent a couple of days together, but I was sure if I spent a whole month with her, I’d notice even more. Everyone changes, even if they find it hard to see in themselves.

For a little bit, Sara just stared at the ground. I wondered if I should say something to her, and if so, what. While I was busy waffling back and forth, she seemed to resolve herself, suddenly lifting her head.

“Okay, I’ve made up my mind! I’m gonna retire from being an adventurer!”

“Wha—?!”

Sara’s sudden declaration prompted the other Amazons to let out an almost hysterical cry.

She didn’t deign to look back at them, but I kind of thought she should. They were her party members, y’know? She should be saying this to their faces.

“What are you going to do if you quit adventuring?” I asked. “Do you have some other job you want to do or something?”

“Nope, no plans. Figure I’ll find myself a man somewhere, settle down, have kids, and live out my days hunting or something.”

Sounded like kind of a detailed plan, actually, but I wasn’t going to contradict her.

“Well, you are beautiful. I only worry some awful guy will take advantage of you,” I said.

“Heh, don’t worry. I’m gonna find me a guy who won’t go off to a brothel, get totally hammered, and then badmouth the crap outta me.”

“Ouch.”

That reference should have stung, but to my surprise, we each smiled, sharing the same moment of nostalgia. It was a misunderstanding spurred on by my own crappy actions following my erectile dysfunction, so perhaps I had no business laughing. But if Sara forgave me enough to laugh about it, I’d laugh along with her.

“Well,” I said, “if you ever find yourself in trouble, send for me and I’ll come.”

Sara nodded. “Yep. And I will, if I need to.”

“Then, see ya.”

“Yep. Goodbye, Rudeus.” 

Sara gave me a brief wave before setting off toward the center of the town. The rest of the Amazons chased after her. I heard the echo of their voices as they demanded she explain what she meant by retiring. They’d soon settle at an inn and have a good squabble over her leaving.

Despite appearances, Sara was very single-minded—or bullheaded, if you wanted to be a little less charitable—so I doubted anyone could dissuade her from retiring if she’d made up her mind. Once she and the others made it out of the Conflict Zone, they’d either disband or find a way to stick together without her. Either way, Sara’d soon begin her new life.

My only hope was that, unlike a certain someone I knew, she wouldn’t try to go venturing into a labyrinth by herself to find a man.

I didn’t know when I would next see Sara again, or if I ever would. If I did, I hoped we’d be able to talk again like this. I also swore that next time, I would ask her about herself too, rather than ramble on and on about my life.

That’s where we left it.