Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 7 - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: 

Abrupt Approach 

Spring came, then summer. Time passed quickly, and soon it had been a year since I first came to Rosenburg. I was sufficiently well-known here now. People would speak of “ Quagmire Rudeus” even in the small nearby villages. And yet, I had not heard anything of Zenith. 

Even so, I stayed in Rosenburg rather than move on to the next city. 

“Good work again today.” 

“Good work!” 

“Nice job!” 

Today I was raising my glass in cheer with the members of Counter Arrow once again. 

“You saved our backsides again. That’s our Quagmire!” 

“No, no. I was only able to do as much as I did because of how skilled you all are,” I insisted. 

“There you go again, being all humble. Come on, you were amazing enough to go in a forest at night all by yourself.” 

Since that incident, I’d increasingly spent my time working alongside Counter Arrow. It was no coincidence—they were rather deliberate in inviting me on quests now. Initially I thought it a quirk of good timing, but they were always there when I showed up at the Adventurers’ Guild and always invited me along. Even someone as thickheaded as me eventually realized it was intentional. 

Inevitably, that meant I went on fewer and fewer quests with other parties. Previously, I’d only teamed up with Counter Arrow one in five times. That now became one in three, then one in two, and now four in five. At this point I was basically a member of their group. 

“…So you see, my father was a hunter, and I’ve been practicing with the bow ever since I was little. That’s why I’m using one right now, but it’s a bit inconvenient as an adventurer,” said Sara. 

“My father was a knight. Apparently, before I was born, he planned to teach his kid swordplay if he had a son and magic if he had a girl. But I had more talent for magic than swordplay, so he recruited a magician named Roxy from Roa City to act as a home tutor for me.” 

One other thing had changed: Sara and I were a lot closer. Now when we camped during missions or went for drinks afterward, she would naturally sit down beside me and strike up a conversation. At first these conversations were largely small talk, but lately we’d begun to talk about our childhoods and where we came from. 

“That was how Roxy became my master. She was really incredible, too.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“She was a demon and yet she tried her best among humans. She was so straightforward, and she didn’t let it get her down even when bad stuff happened. Watching her, I just—” 

“Uh-huh. I see.” 

Her mood would sour depending on the topic of the conversation, but in general, I thought we were getting along well. 

Sara was from a village at the western edge of the Milbotts Region, close to the middle of the Asura Kingdom. She was born to parents who were hunters and grew up helping them from an early age. One day, when she was about ten, monsters suddenly came pouring out of the nearby forest, and her parents were both killed. 

Orphaned and alone, Sara was picked up by Suzanne. Suzanne and Timothy were in the same party at the time, but the other members were completely different. They were adventurers who had been sent from a nearby town to deal with the plague of monsters. 

The number of beasts was impressive, as were both the number of adventurers thrown at them and the injuries that resulted. The entire party, save for Suzanne and Timothy, was wiped out. Mimir and Patrice had been in a similar situation. Thus, Counter Arrow was formed from adventurers who survived after the horde of monsters in the Milbotts Region had been dealt with. 

Back then, Counter Arrow was only a D-ranked party. After Sara became an adventurer, she helped them out while rapidly raising her own rank. Soon, she became an official member as well. She presumably already had talent for the bow, but her progression was still incredibly fast. 

Counter Arrow continued to swap members in and out in their progress to B-rank. By the time they achieved that, there was hardly any work left around the center of the Asura Kingdom. After bouncing around the rural areas, the members resolved to move to a more challenging location. They wavered between whether to go north or south, but they were already operating within the Donati Region, which was close to the Northern Territories. The north was also Timothy’s birthplace, and he knew the land. So, in the end, they decided to head this way. 

Well, all that aside… Sara was the daughter of hunters, huh? The same as Sylphie. I wondered where Sylphie was right now and what she was doing. 

“When I heard the name Greyrat, I immediately thought you were son of one of the Asuran noble families. To me, it looked like you were trying to run away because things didn’t go your way back home.” 

So she’d initially been prickly toward me because she misunderstood my origins and the reason I was doing things. Prejudice, in other words. “Well, the name Greyrat is famous in the Asura Kingdom,” I agreed. 

“Still, you’re not one of those Greyrats, right?” 

“Yeah, uh, apparently I am related to them.” 

“Oh. So you are…” She pursed her lips. 

“I mean, of course I’m not nobility myself. So don’t worry about it.” 

After a brief moment, Sara said, “When those monsters came pouring out of the forest, the nobility came up with all these excuses for why they didn’t send the knights. That’s why so many died.” 

“The liege lord really did that?” 

“Yeah. That’s what I heard.” 

“Oh…well, sometimes people use loss as an excuse to criticize the nobility. Perhaps there were other nobles preventing him from helping,” I explained. 

“Still, it was heartless. The ones who died were villagers.” 

So that was why she had such contempt for the nobility. Sara believed that even the children of nobles who had no hand in the matter, such as myself, would eventually grow up to commit such crimes. 

“Even the nobility have their issues, though,” I told her, recalling how tough their positions had seemed for Philip and Sauros. Philip had his schemes, but whatever you thought of old man Sauros, he’d cared about those he ruled over. Though he had seemed kind of violent in his approach to things. 

Ultimately, those who ignored the people they ruled over were those who didn’t live among them, particularly those residing in the capital. They had no concern for their region or its citizens and impeded those who might otherwise help. Sauros was one such victim of that mindset, and lost his life for it. 

Even so, I couldn’t fault them entirely for what they did. The nobles lived in their own world and had their own battles. People tended to forget everything besides what was in front of them. 

“S-sorry, did I offend you?” As I was preoccupied with such thoughts, Sara reached out, as if panicked by my silence, and cupped her hand over mine. Her palm was tough and warlike, calloused by drawing hundreds of thousands of arrows. Still, her grip was strong and warm. 

“No, you haven’t offended me. I was just remembering my relatives. They were noblemen and died during the Displacement Incident.” 

“Oh…so that was it. I’m sorry. Even though you may not be nobility, you’re still acquainted with people who are.” 

“Please don’t worry about that. I’m sure they’re not related to what happened to your village.” 

Although, Philip had mentioned his brother’s viciousness at one point, so perhaps the noble who’d held back aid from Sara’s village had been someone related to the Boreas family? Plus, the village was located in the Milbotts Region, overseen by the very Notos Greyrat who Paul had run away from. It was highly likely that they were involved. That was a rather convoluted subject, though, so I didn’t bring it up. 

“Still, they died, didn’t they?” 

“They did.” 

“Then that was insensitive of me. I’m sorry.” 

I let her apologize, but really, it didn’t bother me. Probably because the nobles she spoke of weren’t anything like the ones I knew. Perhaps I was only lucky that Philip and Sauros were good people. 

“Oh, um…this is a slight change of subject, but…” 

“Yes?” 

“Actually, you see, I kind of want to try using a sword a bit. It’s tough to use a bow at close range, so I thought I’d have Suzanne teach me how swordplay, for starters.” 

It was an abrupt topic change, but it made sense, given how awkward the previous conversation had been. This was what it meant to “read the room.” A valuable skill another girl I knew didn’t possess. 

“True; it’s not like you can just take your arrows and just stab monsters with them,” I agreed thoughtfully. 

“Yeah. Not that I’ll have many opportunities to get that close as long as I’m in a party. That’s why I’ve been using my all-purpose knife instead of a sword so far. But, well, no surprise, it broke yesterday.” Sara took out the blade in question and set it down on the table. True to her words, a third of the knife had broken off. It could still be used for shaving wood and the like, but it would be useless for battle. 

“Huh. I figured your bow would be the fastest to break.” 

“I made the bow myself, so I can always make a new one if it breaks. I can use treant branches around these parts to make a pretty good one,” Sara explained. 

Bows weren’t popular, so they weren’t typically sold at weapon shops. However, since the town had an abundance of wood for use in magical implements and staves, she took advantage of that to craft her own. The same went for her arrows, of course. 

I wondered when she had found time to make them, but then recalled how she would whittle down wood with her knife before bed when we camped out. She likely had the feathers for the fletching prepared ahead of time, and crafted them whenever she was free. 

“I’ve saved up a bit of money since we’ve had a run of successful missions lately, and I was thinking about buying a short sword.” 

“All right.” 

She pressed on. “So, Rudeus, are you free tomorrow? Want to go buy it with me? You’re an Intermediate-ranked swordfighter, so you can tell the difference between a good sword and a bad one, right?” 

“Nope, I have absolutely no idea. But sure, let’s go together.” 

“It’s a deal!” she declared, beaming. 

“Ooh?” 

“The two of you going off by yourselves? Now that’s charming.” A quick glance over at Suzanne and Timothy showed that the two were grinning. It was then that I realized what Sara’s invitation meant. 

It was a date. 

It had been a long time since I’d gone on a date. When was the last time I’d been on one, actually? It had to be back in the Holy Kingdom of Millis, when I went shopping for clothes with Eris. Back then, we based our purchases on people-watching. 

Speaking of clothes, the only thing I had was my worn-out robe. I hadn’t had time to buy anything new, and for that matter, I had no fashion sense to begin with. I suppose could just mimic the local street style, but unfortunately, that weren’t that many fashionable people in Rosenburg to use as reference. 

No, there was no need to be so particular about how I dressed. I was just accompanying her as she shopped. We were only going out to buy a single sword. I couldn’t get carried away thinking of it as a date. The two of us were getting along now, but that was all it was. I couldn’t let myself think that she was interested in me, or that this might go somewhere. I wasn’t a virgin anymore. Surely Sara wasn’t getting all primped up, either. 

Yeah, let’s just go at this like we usually do, I told myself. Be normal. Today I would be natural—natural Rudeus. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Let’s go.” 

As I was preoccupied with these thoughts in the mess hall of the inn, Sara came to meet me. She was actually cute when I really looked at her. Petite, with a crop of smooth, short blonde hair and an inviting scent about her. Ah, it looked like she’d brushed out her hair; it had been pretty frizzy in our most recent mission together. Even her clothes were a bit different. She wasn’t super dressed up, but I could tell she had put in some effort. Her usual leather breastplate and arrow quiver were nowhere to be seen, and she wore light clothes beneath her usual jacket. Not quite the height of fashion, but very few adventurers had much of a wardrobe. She had really tried to be presentable. 

And now I understood just how dense I was. Apparently, she was interested in me. I suspected I knew the reason for it too—that incident in the forest. Without intending to, I’d somehow landed myself on her route. It was only crisis bonding, I was sure, but at least knowing the reason brought me some relief. 

I didn’t dislike her. She’d certainly been hostile toward me at first, but she had her reasons. She even apologized for her actions, though they never bothered me to begin with. Knowing she was interested in me stirred internal fear, but I wasn’t entirely unhappy about it. I didn’t have any particularly strong feelings for her, of course, but if this was the way things were going, why not just go with the flow? I wasn’t a virgin anymore, after all! 

No, calm down, I coached myself. It’s dangerous to bite off more than you can chew. You’ll just be repeating the same mistake as last time. You need to maintain distance here. 

“What is it?” asked Sara. 

“Nothing; let’s go.” 

Sara stayed slightly ahead of me as we walked, still close enough to see each other with a sideways glance. It was an adventurer’s formation—close enough to be walking side-by-side, with the ability to instantly move next to each other if needed. However, she was a little closer today than usual. Close enough that our hands might touch. 

“This is the place.” 

Our destination was a weapons shop with a good reputation: the Remate Store, owned and operated by an enormous company headquartered in the Asuran capital of Arus, whose wares were largely imported from that kingdom. The company hadn’t been so well known until recently, when the quality of their imports increased sharply and their stores rapidly grew in popularity. In fact, the owner of the carriage I rode on when I left the Asura Kingdom must have been bringing merchandise to this very shop. Although the storefront looked rather ordinary, it would be a bit intimidating for adventurers. 

“This place looks expensive,” I commented. 

“Yeah, but I have the money, so I figured I’d buy something decent.” 

The production of magical implements in Basherant was booming. As long as you could pay a fair price, you could get better quality items here than you could in Asura; but on the other hand, the selection was limited. I guess she picked this shop for the variety of its imports from the Asura Kingdom. 

The value of a good short sword couldn’t be underestimated. When worst came to worst, a secondary weapon like that could save your life. 

“Welcome!” One of the shop’s employees greeted us energetically when we entered. A plethora of weapons lay before us. The majority were long swords, but there were also staves, whips, and blunt weapons such as clubs and maces as well. The only things missing were weapons such as lances or spears. The people in this world avoided those, considering them “devils’ weapons” due to their use by the Superd Tribe. As an adventurer, you couldn’t afford to buy arms of such ill omen. 

We casually perused their selection and made our way to the corner where the short swords were kept. The high-quality blades were displayed on the wall, while the medium-quality ones were arranged on shelves. The particularly cheap, low-quality ones were tossed in a box to be rummaged through. 

We excluded the most expensive from consideration. They were enticing, to be sure, with several enchanted ones among them, but Sara didn’t possess the coin for that. We were generally looking at the mid-tier weapons. These were made by famous smiths, and while they possessed no special effects, they were sturdy, sharp and well-balanced. They cost a pretty penny, but they had the quality to match. 

As for the cheapest of the lot, they weren’t bad if bought brand new, but if you weren’t attentive with maintenance, they’d wear out quickly. With frequent use, they might last two years. Most people thought of them as disposable weapons. 

“It’s really hard to decide,” said Sara. 

“Is it your first time being in a shop like this?” 

“No, but as you know, I use a bow. Even my other short sword I bought cheap and secondhand at a street stall, and the bows I make myself.” Sara glanced over the options in front of her, carefully studying each one by picking it up to check the balance. 

I had a knife of my own as well, though I couldn’t quite recall where I’d bought it. Perhaps I picked it up at random on the Demon Continent? Wait, no, that one was worn out, so I think I switched it out for a new one in the King Dragon Realm. Maybe it was time for me to get another one. 

With that thought in mind, I perused a few of the short swords as well. Some had longer blades, some had shorter ones, some were light, some were heavy. “Short sword” was a simple, categorical name, but there was a lot of variety within the category. I hadn’t planned on buying one today, but it might be good to have one on hand, just in case. 

“Hmm, maybe this? Or this… I wonder which one I should pick. Which do you think, Rudeus?” 

When I glanced back, Sara had two blades in hand. One was slightly curved and twenty centimeters long, while the other was a straight thirty centimeters of steel. 

“Let’s see…” I tested each one in my hand. There was a clear difference in weight and balance. After I’d hefted them, I held up the short, curved one. “This would be better for shaving down wood for arrows.” It had a more comfortable balance to it. That surely make it the better option for delicate work. “But if you want it for fighting monsters, then this one is better.” I handed the other sword back to her. It had a long, thick blade and looked like it would make great impact when sweeping from the side. I had no idea how strong it actually was, though. 

“All right…hmm.” 

I wasn’t especially knowledgeable about swords, but she’d asked for my opinion and it would have been rude not to give an answer. “Don’t you primarily use it for making arrows?” I asked. 

“Yeah, but I want to be able to use it in an emergency situation, too.” 

“Then why don’t you buy both?” 

Sara shook her head. “They would be too heavy. Plus, it would get in the way of using my bow if I had two swords hanging at my waist.” 

“Then what about buying a cheap knife for crafting arrows which you can store in your bag? It could also be a backup weapon.” 

“Yeah, that might work…” she started to say. “But that’s kind of a lot of money.” 

“If you want, I could help you pay for it.” 

Sara shook her head. “I’d feel bad.” 

“You can let me help out occasionally,” I coaxed, taking some coin from my pocket. 

Honestly, I’d barely spent anything this past year. I only spent on necessities, and even then, I didn’t use very much. My income far outmatched my daily expenses. Since I didn’t spend anything on entertainment, I’d wound up amassing some wealth. I had enough spare cash to be able to buy a short sword or two. 

“Okay,” she finally agreed. “But I’m just borrowing the money.” 

“All right. Just pay me back when you can, then.” 

Sara was pretty particular when it came to paying debts. Even when I said I would treat her to a meal, she would insist she was just borrowing the cash. I didn’t really care whether she ever returned my money or not, but she was insistent on repaying it, so I’d ask her to compensate me in other ways instead, such as taking over my next round of lookout duty. Not that I minded her sincere attempts to reimburse me. 

“Okay!” Sara really did look cute when she smiled. 

Afterward, we surveyed the other shops in the area, which included shops selling armor and magical devices. Among the latter was a shop that we normally never went into, full of exceedingly expensive wares on display. Adventurers didn’t have much business with such stores; the products lining this storefront cost an entire year’s worth of our income. So, of course, we just window-shopped. 

Magical items in this world were largely things like household appliances or objects with Beginner-tier magic effects. Though research on these was progressing, the objects produced were relatively crude. For example, there was an item almost like a lighter that would spit fire if you channeled mana into it. It might sound like a convenient invention, but it was too unwieldy to haul around, being the size of my fist. 

Once we were done window shopping, we went off to have a drink. We selected a fine-dining restaurant—just kidding! We went to our usual bar. We were both adventurers, after all, and Sara wasn’t well-versed in fine dining etiquette. Such etiquette just reminded me of my past, too, so this worked better for me as well. 

“Looking at all of that made me want a new breastplate, too,” sighed Sara. 

“I think I’m going to stick with this robe. I’ve taken a liking to it.” 

“How many years have you been wearing it?” 

“Two or three years,” I guessed. 

“It’s definitely durable,” she agreed, “but the sleeves are starting to get a little frayed. Why not buy a new one?” 

“Hmm. I’d rather wait until it’s completely worn out.” 

“Well, maybe I’ll do the same, then…but then again, mine is protective gear. I should probably replace it sooner. You never know what’s going to happen in combat.” 

We chattered about the day’s shopping trip as I ate my usual meat and bean soup, plus a vegetable salad only available in the summer. Now that I thought about it, Eris hadn’t been too enthused about this kind of talk. Neither of us were the type to spend much time shopping, nor did we have an interest in clothing. Eris wasn’t terribly gifted when it came to words, either. 

This was actually pretty fun, though. 

“It doesn’t look like it’s taken too much damage, though,” I commented, referring to her breastplate. 

“Yeah, but I bought it quite a while ago, so it’s been starting to get tight.” 

“Tight…?” What did that mean? She was about fifteen; by this world’s standards, she was already an adult, although she was still in the process of puberty. And puberty meant the growth of certain areas. 

“What are you blushing for?” She scowled at me. I still lacked experience when it came to conversation, apparently. “Sheesh, honestly, men.” 

Even so, I don’t think I fared too badly. Sara didn’t appear too displeased or exasperated with me. 

“Ahh, I think I’ve gotten a bit tipsy. I tend to drink a lot when I’m with you,” Sara confided after a few drinks. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. For some reason…I just tend to relax when you’re beside me,” she said, leaning her body against mine. Our shoulders brushed, and I could feel her body heat filtering through the fabric of her clothes. 

This is what I think it is, right? As in, I actually have a chance here? 

To test my hypothesis, I wrapped my arm around her waist. I expected her to be muscular, but she was actually soft and slender. Honestly, this simple touch was enough to satisfy me for the day. Or so I thought, but then she wrapped her hand over mine. Eyes slightly moist, she glanced at me. “Rudeus…” 

“S-Sara…” Our bodies seemed to press even closer together. 

Okay, I decided, let’s do this. 

I figured it was about time to forget about the past and move on. I couldn’t cling to it forever. Just a year ago, I had resolved to look ahead and move forward. That meant leaving Eris behind and moving on to the next romance. 

That was right. Things with Eris were over. I needed to start a new chapter. There was no time to waste. 

I pulled my arm back and stood. “It’s, uh, getting late. How about we go back? I’ll walk you to your room.” 

Still, I had to be cautious. I couldn’t let myself get all carried away again like I did with Eris. If this romance ended like the last one, I might not be able to get back on my feet again. I needed to wait for the right timing. Right, Paul? 

As I mulled that over, we paid our bill and headed outside. The moment we did, Sara suddenly pressed herself against me. “I kind of want to talk to you a little bit more.” Her words slurred together a bit. Her cheeks were flushed and her head swayed. Perhaps she’d drunk a bit too much—but then again, maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. 

As for me, in case you were wondering, I hadn’t consumed a drop. “Um, well, shall we go to another bar?” 

“Hmm.” She tapped her finger against her chin and glanced up at the sky. Then, completely nonchalant, she murmured, “Can we go to your room?” 

Did she understand what she was saying? No—even if she didn’t, I just had to resist the temptation. 

Wait, wait. Maybe I didn’t have to resist her? 

Just go with the flow, I told myself, go with the flow. We had a great mood going just a moment ago. As long as she was fine with it, there was surely nothing wrong with just letting things take their natural course. “Uh, um, w-well! Let’s get going then, shall we?” 

“Okay,” she agreed, unusually meek as she smoothly linked her arm with mine. Her breasts, neither particularly large nor small, pressed against my arm. The heat from them felt like it would scorch me. They were so soft, so truly , truly soft. 

The girls of this world—both Eris and Sara—sure were assertive. 

Once again, I got the sudden and distinct feeling something was off. What was this sensation, exactly? I felt like I’d experienced it before, but something was different this time. I mean, when I touched Eris’ chest I’d felt this spark, this feeling, and I wasn’t getting that this time. Something was lacking. 

Well, no matter. For now I would let myself be entranced by the softness of Sara’s breasts. 

Wait, no, calm down! I urged myself. As long as you can establish the right mood, you’ll be able to feel her breasts with more than just your upper arm. 

I felt my heart pounding thunderously. My breathing didn’t sound too erratic, did it? 

“We’re here,” I announced. 

“Yeah, you’re on the third floor, right?” asked Sara. 

We returned to the inn with our arms entwined, and the owner looked surprised when he saw us. He snickered and disappeared into the kitchen before immediately returning and tossing something my way. I caught it instinctively. It was a flask. I knew nothing about types of alcohol, but this was likely quite expensive. He waved his hand at me as if to say Good luck , then retreated into the kitchen. 

I studied Sara’s face, but it told me little. Her cheeks were no longer that flushed, nor was she so hammered that she’d lost consciousness. I had no idea what she was thinking, either. 

“What? Hurry up and take me to your room,” she urged. 

So I led her up the stairs. The inn was deathly quiet, with few people occupying its rooms. The steps creaked as we climbed to the next floor, and my heart hammered along, unbidden. 

Yep, my breathing had definitely grown erratic. 

“Here,” I said. 

“Thanks for letting me in.” Sara entered the room without making any comments about my irregular breathing. 

I set the flask I’d just received on my table. Then I began by taking off my robe—wait, no. First I needed to start a fire. No! It was already summer now; we didn’t need one. I ended up taking off my robe after all. 

As I shuffled around furtively, unable to settle my mind, Sara had already taken her jacket off, hung it up, and was now perched on my bed. That’s right, my bed. Not the chair right beside it, but the bed itself. It felt like it was the first time I’d ever had a girl sit on my bed, but that couldn’t be true. “W-would you like something to drink? I’ve got alcohol and water.” 

“You have water?” she asked, surprised. 

“I’m a magician, so I can make it.” 

“Aha.” 

Trying to stall for time, I filled a cup with water. Wait, had I washed this cup? I was pretty lazy when it came to that kind of stuff. Uhh… 

“Forget about that, come over here,” she said. 

“Yes!” Going right now! I moved as if magnetically pulled and sat beside her, right on the spot she’d softly patted to beckon me over. 

Our bodies sat close together. Insanely close. Way too freakin’ close, oh my god. 

“You know…” Sara began. 

“Yes.” 

“I’m really grateful to you. If you hadn’t come for me back then, I’d be dead.” 

“Yes.” 

She just wanted to have a serious conversation? That’s what all this was about? Our shoulders were already touching, and the only things I could see were the pale white skin of her clavicle and the swell of breasts just beneath. Despite all of that, she wanted me to try to have a serious conversation with her? 

Suddenly, she glanced my way. Our eyes met, faces so close that our noses nearly bumped. Her face filled my vision, and I found my reflection in the blue of her irises. 

“That’s why…um…you can do it.” 

I shoved her down onto the bed. There was no etiquette, no manners. I didn’t think I used too much strength, though. I forced back my eagerness by reminding myself I wasn’t a virgin anymore and moved as gently and kindly as I could. I acted meticulously—cautiously—so as not to make any mistakes. So the past wouldn’t repeat itself. 

I laid her down, kissed her, caressed her, removed her clothes, caressed some more, kissed her again, and then peeled off my own clothes. That was when… 

“Huh?” 

I realized. 

“… Huh ?” 

I finally realized what had been pinging wrong in my head all this time. 

Sara’s body was slender, toned, with distinct tan lines drawing borders where her clothes had been. A gorgeous body, a wonderful body. One that left nothing more to be desired. 

No, there was nothing wrong with her at all. The problem was with me. My body was the one raising a red flag. Or, to be more precise: It wasn’t raising a flag. It wasn’t raising anything at all. It was completely unresponsive. 

“…What?” 

Normally, in this type of situation, my member would be saluting proudly, as if it had been awaiting this moment. This was my son, my comrade-in-arms that had been with me for the last sixteen years. 

“…Eh?” 

And he wasn’t standing up. 

We tried a variety of things. I tried stimulating myself. I tried having Sara touch me. I tried rubbing myself against her. Still it just continued to hang limply. Finally, once we were exhausted, we pulled away from each other and wordlessly maintained some distance. I sat in the chair while she lingered on the bed. 

My head was an absolute mess. This was the first time this had ever happened. 

Why? How? When…when did this start? This was totally weird! Why this, all of a sudden, after it had been so naughty and unruly up until now? 

What was happening to my body? 

My vision narrowed and my mouth grew dry. Only my heart continued to pound strongly as I sank into confusion, aware that my face must be pale as a sheet. I felt pathetic, anxious, and grief-stricken. 

“Hey,” Sara called out. At some point she had pulled her clothes back on. Not just her underwear and her underclothes, but the jacket she’d shrugged off when we first came in, too. She was no longer sitting on the bed either, of course. Now she’d wandered over to the door, where she stood with her back towards me. “It’s not like…I had feelings for you or anything.” 

“Huh?” 

She didn’t turn around as she spoke. Her words came quick, as if to push me away. “It was…a way of thanking you. Yeah, to pay you back for what you did. So don’t go getting the wrong idea. The only reason I even did this was because I felt obligated.” 

“What?” Obligated? So the whole reason she spent time with me this entire time was out of obligation? She only acted so sweet to me because I’d helped her and she felt like she owed me? It had nothing to do with liking me, was that it? 

“B-bye then!” she said as she opened the door and slipped out of the room. 

“Ah, wai—” 

Just before she was completely out the door, I heard her mutter, “What a disaster.” Stricken, I pulled myself back and swallowed my exclamation. Her footsteps down the stairs filtered into the room. 

“…Ah.” 

I was at a loss for words. Despite everything, it had happened again. 

Where did I go wrong? I must have messed something up again, right? Had this perhaps been how Eris had felt, too? Had she actually been entirely unwilling that night and merely endured her distaste until the very end, for my sake? 

Why was this happening? Was this how things were always going to be from now on? 

“It’s cold.” 

Feeling chilled, I pulled my underwear back on. I donned my pants and shirt and shrugged the robe back over my shoulders. Even then, I still felt cold. It was the kind of cold that froze you all the way to your core, the kind where you simply couldn’t get warm no matter how many layers of clothes you had on. It was the kind of chill that needed something else to drive it away. 

“I guess this will work.”I picked up the flask I’d left on the table.