Chapter 6:
The Impotent Magician
An hour later , I had emptied that flask. I made my stumbling way outside and went into a random bar. I then immediately sat myself down at the counter and ordered. “Master, give me the strongest alcohol you have here.”
“For a kid? We don’t have—” He started to object, but his expression turned to one of surprise when I plucked an Asuran gold coin from my pocket and deposited it onto the counter. The surprise was soon replaced by disgust as he immediately reached for a bottle on the shelf behind him and set it down in front of me. Why keep me waiting when you have what I asked for? I thought sourly.
“Ahh…” I drank straight from the bottle, hoisting it, throwing my head back, and gulping it all down. I’d never drunk alcohol like this, but it felt surprisingly good. My head was spinning round and round. Acute alcohol poisoning? Who cared about that? It would be a dream come true if I could die feeling this good.
“Hey, old man, one more! Give me somethin’ to munch on, too.”
“Hey, you shouldn’t be drinking like that.”
“Lay off! Hurry up and bring me the booze!” I snapped back, so the barkeep just shrugged and provided me the next bottle.
Ahh, this sure brought back memories. This was exactly how things were in my previous life. I’d lash out in anger, and my mom and dad, terrified, would do exactly as I asked. Hah, after living in this world for so many years and coming this far, here I was repeating history again.
Dammit, dammit…!
I took another swig. The alcohol here was fiery hot going down and strong enough to make your tongue hurt. The taste didn’t matter, though. The more I drank, the less I felt the biting cold that had iced me over inside.
The snacks the barkeep supplied were just beans. Roasted beans, specifically. What were they called again? I’d eaten them several times, but I couldn’t remember. Whatever, I could just call them beans. After all, this town had little else besides beans.
“Oho, what’s this?”
As I was greedily popping these beans into my mouth and chasing them down with alcohol, I heard a voice behind me.
“Well, if it ain’t Quagmire. It’s unusual, ya know, for you to come drink here at a bar we frequent all the time. But hey, you’ll ruin the booze if you stay here. So get out. You listening to me? Hey! Look at me, I’m talking to you.”
Soldat came and plopped himself down on the stool beside me. I looked over. He wore the same maliciously mocking expression he always did.
“What the hell is with you and that depressing look on your face? Let me guess, something awful happened? Not surprising… Not that it matters. You’re always like this, aren’t you? Whenever something doesn’t go your way, you run and run, smile like a complete moron and wait for those around you to comfort you. Right? That’s exactly what—urgh?!”
His face had gotten too close, so I sent my fist into it. Soldat went reeling off the chair from the impact and landed square on his ass, though he immediately hopped back to his feet. “You little shit!”
I jumped off the stool and grabbed him by the collar. “What are you getting pissed about?! You’re the one always picking fights with me. This is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?!”
“You—”
I punched him again. Soldat didn’t defend himself, nor did he try to avoid it. He just took my fist right to his face and stumbled a few steps.
“What’s wrong with smiling like a moron?” Another punch. “If I could be like you—if I could disparage and belittle other people while boasting about my own achievements, even as people resented me and my heart filled with jealousy as they all began to hate me and turn away—if I could go through all that and still have your kind of attitude, I would!”
I continued, “I don’t want people to hate me. That’s why I smile like that! What bothers you so much about that, huh?!” The words just kept coming. “Why do they all leave?! Just stay with me! I don’t care if it’s a lie, smile for me! It hurts when you’re cruel to me!”
I couldn’t restrain myself.
“Whatever, it’s all ruined. It’s all over for me. Besides, what the hell is your problem? You don’t know a thing about me and yet you’re always taking potshots at me. Who are you calling a ‘hotshot lone wolf’ and ‘half-assed’ anyways? What’s wrong with running away when things get tough?!” I just kept going. “Fuck! Go ahead and come at me. Punch me, do whatever you like. Then, when I’m sprawled out on the floor, you can look down at me and laugh! You’re probably stronger than me, anyway.”
I rained punch after punch down on him as I bellowed that rant. The others in the bar began to jeer at us, saying, “It’s a fight! Give it to him!” Yet Soldat didn’t move. Surely, he could have reacted to my attacks, but instead he continued to let my alcohol-addled body take limp swings at him.
Gradually, the voices around us died down. The only thing left, once I had exhausted myself and sunk to the floor, was the sound of me choking out a sob.
“Hey, Soldat… Don’t pick on the kid too much.”
“R-right.”
Everyone in the bar, including the members of Stepped Leader who were drinking in the back, and even Soldat himself were all completely dumbfounded as they stared at me.
“Sorry. It was my bad. I screwed up. Maybe you really do have it worse than everyone else. Don’t cry. I’m sure good things await you in the future.”
“What the hell would you know?” I spat back.
“Hmm… Ah, uh, well, drink up. Then you can tell me about it. Maybe then we can figure something out, or you can at least get it off your chest. So…dry those tears,” he said, smacking me on the shoulder.
And then somehow, before I even realized what was happening, Soldat and I were drinking together.
“So, basically, you couldn’t get it up and the girl dumped you, huh?”
“ Sniff … What, you trying to make fun of me?” I asked accusingly.
“Nah, not at all. It’s just important when you’re feeling down to figure out what exactly caused it.”
“I guess so.”
To my surprise, Soldat quietly listened to me as I sobbed and recounted what happened. He even kept the other members of Stepped Leader at a distance and led me to a corner of the counter where it was just the two of us.
“So, Mister Soldat, what really had me so terribly upset was—”
“Just loosen up,” he interjected.
“Huh?”
“Just a moment ago, you were talking like a normal person. You don’t gotta put up a mask by speaking all stiff and formal. You’re just lying to yourself when you do that,” Soldat explained.
“All right…”
“You keep lying to yourself and it’s like a poison that builds. It’s fine to be polite, but be yourself.”
Considering the last year, maybe he had a point.
“So what got me so down was actually something that happened before this. There was this girl I liked.”
“Yeah?”
“A lot happened and, well, we did…I mean, you know . It was the first time for both of us.”
“Well, everyone’s got a first.”
I continued, “When I woke up, she was gone and had already set off on some trip.”
“So she cast you aside, huh?”
Cast me aside? The truth of those words was like a blade that stabbed me in the throat. Fresh tears came bubbling to my eyes and my hand trembled as I held my cup, another sob slipping out.
“I said quit the tears. Anyway, if you’re crying about it, that must be the source of your problem. You’ve been holding on to that this whole time, and it’s what got you where you are now. Okay. I get what happened. Now come on, bottoms up. Drink back those tears,” he said, pouring more of the expensive liquor into my cup.
I threw my head back and guzzled it. My stomach felt completely numb. I had no sense of just how much I’d drunk, though my tears were beginning to subside.
“Why did she… Why did Eris leave me? Why—”
“Ahh, so her name’s Eris, eh? She’s a cruel woman. But you can’t waste time wondering what the reason is behind a woman’s every move. Women are like cats. We’re more like dogs. There’s no way dogs and cats can understand what the other’s thinking, right?”
“But still, why? For what reason…?”
“Hmm. Based on my experience, when a woman suddenly disappears like that, it’s because you screwed up something immediately before that. They suddenly get all pissy and go off on their own, saying they don’t care anymore.”
“Something I did immediately before,” I echoed, thinking. There was one thing that came to mind. “So I guess I really did suck in bed…”
“Best not to come to your own conclusions about what got her so riled up. Whatever you come up with is probably gonna be wrong, so be careful with that. If you apologize thinking that’s it, they’ll get pissed at you and yell, ‘I’m not even upset about that !’”
“I don’t even know where she is, so I can’t apologize,” I confessed.
“Yeah, I get that. I do.” Soldat drained the rest of his cup. After he set it back down, he drew his thumb over the edge, wiping away the beads of liquid there. After looking contemplative for a few moments, he mumbled, “It’s just gonna be depressing if you keep going like this.”
Those words perfectly captured my feelings. Soldat’s expression hadn’t changed. He still had that look of utter resentment at the world—that sarcastic, mocking expression. Still, that was just his face. His eyes were looking right at me and his words were sincere.
“Let’s fix it,” he said finally.
“But how?”
“Not a clue.” He shook his head and continued, “But if that is the source of your problem, you just gotta override it with the same thing.”
Override it with sex. Sex, however, meant that I would have to use the very thing that wasn’t standing up for me right now though, right? Fixing it would require the very thing that was broken to temporarily return to working order. “Isn’t that impossible?”
“You’ve only done it once, yeah?”
“…Yeah.”
“Then who knows? Listen up, finding pleasure doesn’t necessarily mean you gotta stick it in a hole.”
I kind of understood what he was getting at. Certainly, he was right. Adult videos couldn’t be two hours long if not, and there wouldn’t be so many kinds of them out there.
“What do you propose then?” I asked.
“Let’s leave it to a pro.”
At Soldat’s suggestion, we headed off to Rosenburg’s pleasure district.
It was my first time here, and indeed, my first time stepping into any red-light district at all. More precisely, I’d deliberately avoided coming near this place.
The sun had already faded in the sky, the brothels were all lit up, and a respectable number of people wandered the streets around them. The majority of these people were men, but there were also a sizeable number of women. Most of them were there to work, but from what I overheard, some were also here as customers looking for men. All of them wore such heavy makeup that it was difficult for me to discern one from the other.
No, the women beneath the eaves, puffing on what resembled cigarettes, were unmistakably employed here. They wore suggestive clothing with their breasts exposed. I could tell by the way they were glancing over at me—no, at Soldat—that they were trying to attract customers.
“Th-this is my first time in a place like this,” I confided.
“I know.”
“Wh-what kind of girl should I pick?”
“Nah, you don’t have to pick someone from here. These girls, to put it bluntly, are the kind that just lie there if you pay them. I’m fine with that, but you’re not like me.”
“Oh, okay.” So even prostitutes had varying skill levels and services, huh? And the low-ranked ones were, in every sense of the word, selling only their bodies. That definitely wasn’t the kind of partner I was looking for.
“We’re going somewhere a little more special,” declared Soldat.
“Oh, special, huh?”
“Well, I say ‘special,’ but there’s a lot of variety to be had. There are places that’ll let you do things a run-of-the-mill brothel wouldn’t, and the kind that’ll satisfy whatever secret fetishes you got. And there’s even more crooked establishments out there—places people refuse to talk about.”
More unscrupulous than the other ones he mentioned? I felt like I only had a vaguest idea of what he was talking about.
“For now, we’re just going to your standard brothel. A place with skilled professionals that’ll use techniques like you’ve never seen before. It’ll really knock your socks off.”
Just hearing about it was enough to get me excited. I’d never been to such a place before, not even in my previous life. I’d been interested even back then, but had also been the type to haughtily claim that only idiots went to such places. I was young—young and foolish.
Right now, in contrast, all I felt was anticipation. But my buddy between my legs didn’t seem to agree.
“Soldat… Sir, have you been to these kinds of places a lot?”
“Drop the ‘sir’. And, well, yeah. I’m a man, why not?”
“But don’t you have a woman in your party?”
“That’s against in the rules in our party, or rather, amongst our clan. Parties are just a gathering of adventurers based on their skills. The rule is, if a man and woman in a party are discovered to be in a relationship, they’re driven out of the clan.”
“Oh, okay.”
In an online game I’d played in my previous life, we’d had problems with romantic relationships. Players would meet offline, start dating, and then things would get awkward for the entire guild when the relationship turned sour. We also had trolls who were just there to make trouble.
This, however, was a different world. No one had an avatar to hide behind, and the fallout of relationship drama could endanger adventurers’ lives. That was probably why there were such strict rules against it, particularly in sizable clans.
“But still,” I protested, “being in life-or-death situations for days on end just naturally creates those kinds of bonds between men and women.”
“It does,” agreed Soldat. “That’s why we’re so strict about replacing members. If a leader senses those kinds of feelings between two people, they’re asked to leave immediately.”
“But you’ve been with them for so long. What happens to your teamwork when you suddenly bring a new person in?”
“Well, we just rework the basic battle guidelines administered by the clan, and a little practice does the rest. It still takes a bit of time, but that’s why leaders like me are proactive about putting forward recommendations for new members. Anyway, we’re here.” Soldat stopped in his tracks. “Come on, follow me.”
Before us was a building, bewitching with its red paint and lit bonfires. It looked too intimidating to enter; I would normally never even approach such a place, let alone go inside.
Yet as I hurried after Soldat, I found myself crossing the threshold with no problem. I used to wonder how someone as unpleasant as Soldat could lead an adventurer’s party, but now I kind of got it. He was strangely easy to follow, somewhat like Suzanne. You could trust either of them to lead you places.
“Don’t act so nervous. Oh, you got money, right?”
“I…I think I have enough.” There was something at the entrance resembling a list of available options, and I confirmed that the cash in my wallet was more than enough to pay for the most expensive option they offered.
“You’ve been saving all your money, right? Then you should be fine—at least for a night. You’ll be screwed if you get hooked and start coming back every night.”
When we entered, we were greeted by a rainbow of colors, with elegant upholstery that stretched as far as the eye could see. To our right was a counter, and to our left were about six women in dresses, all seated. Instead of the gaudy makeup of their peers standing outside, they wore only enough to accentuate their natural beauty, making them look both seductive and sensuous. This was likely one of their many skills.
At a glance, I could tell their dresses and the furnishings were expensive stuff. Luxury prostitutes, as their name implied, gave off a sense of grandeur.
“Those are some amazing dresses,” I commented.
“Yeah, apparently they’re imports from the Asura Kingdom. They’re dresses made for real nobility, but merchants avoid taxes and sell them at a decent price by transporting them in separate pieces, and then people sew them together.”
“Y-you’re awfully knowledgeable about that.”
“Heard about it the last time I came here. The leader of the Remate chain, Silent, came up with the idea. That’s how Remate got so big recently.”
“Oh, wow.” This was definitely of interest to me, but I didn’t have the time or money for it right now.
Soldat made a beeline for the counter and rested his elbow on it. “Yo.”
“My, my, if it isn’t Lord Soldat. Welcome to our humble establishment. Ah, but I regret to inform you that your preferred companion is currently booked full.”
“I’m just here to drink today. But it’s my buddy’s first time here, so could you explain how things work?” He backed away from the counter and pushed me forward.
I stepped toward the receptionist as bidden. The person on the other side of the counter was an elegant man with a pleasant smile, and though I clearly looked like a child in his eyes, he still regarded me with the utmost courtesy. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” he said. “Allow me to extend my gratitude to you for choosing to visit our establishment, the Blue Rose Palace, today. I am the manager of this place, Profen.”
“Oh, nice to meet you. I’m Rudeus Greyrat.”
“Ah! You’re Quagmire Rudeus! I’ve heard rumors of you for quite some time now.” What kind of rumors? Part of me wanted to know and the other part didn’t. “Lord Soldat mentioned that it’s your first time here. If I might ask, does that mean it will also be your very first time ever?”
“Oh, no, it’s not.” I shook my head.
“Very well, then. I shall explain to you how our system works.” And he laid it out.
First, you would pick from one of the girls waiting in the chairs. Next, price was determined based on the itinerary you selected. Itineraries had a bunch of different options, and anything that wasn’t listed was simply off the table. You would be handed a list of what was permissible and what wasn’t, of course, but typically a patron didn’t have to fuss too much over the specifics. The escorts had already memorized everything on the lists.
Once you’d chosen, you would enter one of the baths to clean up, and then be guided to a room. There, the woman you had chosen would join you, and the two of you would be alone together to do whatever you wanted. As long as what you wanted was on the list, she would oblige you. If you proposed something not on the list, she would refuse, and that would be that.
That said, if you really had your heart set on something not on the list, you might be able to negotiate for its inclusion at the cost of an additional fee. Of course, the establishment had numerous methods at their disposal to make sure you ponied up. You paid seventy percent up front, and thirty percent plus any additional fees after.
“So, who you gonna pick?”
On Soldat’s recommendation, I picked the most expensive itinerary available and quickly settled the first half of the bill. This would allow me to try a variety of different methods to resolve my problem. After that, I sized up the women who were waiting. Since I was a paying customer, I was allowed to take a closer look and even feel them up if I wanted. Each of the escorts wore a dazzling smile as I approached, smiles so seductive that I might have fallen for their wearers if we’d encountered each other literally anywhere but here.
Four of the seats were empty, which probably meant those girls were already seeing other customers. Even so, I felt a bit uncomfortable feeling up someone who was smiling at me, so…
“I guess…I’ll go with her.”
The girl I picked was the second from the left. She looked just a bit shy of twenty and was a tad shorter than me. She had sizeable breasts, a tight waist, and a nice round ass. Her facial features looked Asuran and she had a confident air about her. She had slightly curly red hair set in waves.
In other words, her physical appearance resembled Eris’.
“I’m Elise. A pleasure to be in your company.”
Even her name sounded similar. No—it probably wasn’t her real name, anyway.
“Might I request your name as well, my lord?”
“Oh, Rudeus. Rudeus Greyrat.”
She looked shocked for a moment, but then her lips creased. “Well then, Lord Rudeus, I look forward to serving you.” Elise wore an enchanting smile on her face as she quickly turned on her heel and disappeared into another room.
“Well, good luck,” said Soldat. “I’ll come back for you when your time is up.”
“O-okay.”
Once he said that, Soldat selected the furthest girl to the right and disappeared somewhere else. I felt suddenly helpless now that I was alone.
“This way to the bath. Please feel free to take your time cleaning up, as it doesn’t count toward your allotted time with your companion.”
I brushed away the feeling of loneliness and followed the guide, wandering deeper into the building. The bathing area included a tub overflowing with warm water and two young girls wearing what amounted to bathing suits. They were quite young, too, and underdeveloped. The two of them silently set about washing me. Perhaps these girls were apprentices, not yet old enough to take customers, but merely learning the skills as potential candidates to become escorts themselves. They scrubbed every inch of my body. And when I said they cleaned every inch, I meant it. They even brushed my teeth and polished me until I sparkled. Were my lower half in its proper state, my comrade-in-arms would have surely stood at attention and saluted the heavens. However, as always, he was completely silent.
Once I had donned the underwear and shirt they provided, putting my clothes and valuables in a basket they’d given me, I was told to go to Room 5.
I left the bath through a different door than I had entered, then took a narrow hallway to arrive at the designated room. With the numbers clearly written on the door, it was easy to spot. Rooms after door 6 were upstairs.
I timidly opened the door. Just the thought that there was a girl waiting on the other side, willing to do anything within the rules of this establishment, got me excited. And yet my precious partner down below remained uninterested. “Pardon me,” I automatically said as I stepped inside.
It was dark in the room. The only light came from a number of candelabra and some candles on the table. In that dim light was a canopy bed. Elise stood at its edge, dressed in sheer clothing.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Lord Rudeus. Please, come this way.” She smiled softly as she approached me, taking my arm. Elise was clearly different from Sara, with the way her prominent chest pressed against my arm. My heart drummed furiously. “Shall we begin immediately? Or would you prefer a bit of conversation first?”
“Uh, um…”
“It seems you’re nervous. In that case, why don’t we chat a bit? Don’t worry, the night is still young. There’s no need to rush.”
Ahh, so this was a professional. It was easy to tell by the way she conducted herself and spoke as she settled beside me on the bed. With practiced hands, she took a bottle of alcohol from the table and poured it into one of the provided cups. “Would you like to have a drink?” she asked.
“Uh, yes, I would.”
Persuaded by her offer, I drained the glass dry. For a moment I wondered if she wouldn’t join me, but then I remembered seeing it written at the entrance that companions wouldn’t drink. There was also a warning that if a patron insisted their companion join them, her skills might be dulled and her words less filtered due to inebriation. So I would drink alone for now. The walk here had sobered me up from earlier. What happened after this would be essential, so I needed the influence of alcohol to help me along.
“These sweets are from the Asura Kingdom. Would you like some?”
“Y-yeah.”
When I did as Elise suggested and ate one, she giggled. “I’ve heard of you before, Lord Rudeus.”
“Oh, yeah… Well, I have become pretty famous at the Adventurers’ Guild. That’s true. I guess you must have heard of me from another adventurer?”
“No, from my little sister. You once healed her wounds without asking anything in return.”
“‘Once’?” I echoed questioningly.
“I heard it was last winter, as you were helping clear the snow.”
“Ohh.” Something like that had happened, come to think of it.
“Adventurers are kind to us when we dress up like this, put on make-up and touch skin to skin, but many of them tend to be quite violent, otherwise. Particularly toward the young understudies here, who have no money, whose clothes are in tatters, and who are often mistaken for orphans. Many adventurers don’t stop to consider that, as those children get older, they will be taking patrons, and that those very same adventurers may become their customers.”
A filthy orphan in the backstreets and a beautiful woman accepting patrons at a brothel seemed worlds apart. If I had bothered to look closer, I might have realized that the children who bathed me earlier looked like the urchins I sometimes spotted in back alleys during the day. “I think you must be right. I admit, I thought they were orphans too.”
“But you were different than the rest,” she insisted. “You sought nothing in return and helped what you thought was a penniless orphan out of the kindness of your heart. You are an incredible person. There’s been talk that some girls would go the extra distance to please you if you happened to visit them in the future.”
This definitely had to be lip service, I was sure. Still, it was nice to hear.
“I am sure the other girls will be jealous once they hear that I was the one who got to sleep with you.”
“Uh, yeah, sure… Um, could I have another glass?”
“Yes, certainly. But you mustn’t drink yourself into a stupor, you know? We have so much time left tonight. Rather than enjoying the liquor, why don’t you try enjoying me instead?”
“Oh, of course. Yes.”
After eating and drinking, my brain felt sufficiently addled with alcohol. As for Elise, she sat by my side the entire time, glued to my arm, her hand caressing my thigh all the way up to the base of my leg while saying, “Does it taste good?” and, “You can certainly hold your liquor.”
“Um, can we start now?” I asked finally.
“Certainly.” Elise released my arm, which she’d been clinging to the entire time, and stepped in front of me. “Would you like to undress me yourself?”
“Uh, what? Oh, no, that’s fine.”
“Very well.”
The way she moved as she stripped off her sheer garments was so seductive that it was bewitching.
“Now then, Lord Rudeus, to the bed.”
Her naked body kept me rooted in place as I fumbled at my own clothes. Once they were off, I followed her invitation and joined her on top of the mattress.
“I will do my utmost to please you.”
The whole situation was so sensual it felt like an illusion, as if I were in a dream. It was enough to make me believe, Oh yeah, I can definitely do this.
***
Simply put, it didn’t work.
“I am so sorry I wasn’t able to be of use to you.”
The moment I got in bed with her, Elise immediately realized my problem. She then proceeded to apologize profusely, asking me if I would prefer to choose someone else to be with. It wasn’t a bad idea, but I would’ve felt guilty, so I explained my circumstances. That made her determined to help me, using every technique she possessed—including some not listed on my selected itinerary.
Honestly, she was wonderful. It felt great. I got a clear taste of what a professional’s skills were like. However, the physical sensations led nowhere. My buddy remained ever silent, almost as if his two boys below had been cut off. In fact, the more we tried, the emptier I felt, and the further we seemed from discovering the source of the problem.
Then our time was up. “No, Miss Elise, you did your best,” I assured her.
“Even so, I… Oh no, what should I do…”
“I’ll pay the fee. For the things that weren’t listed as well, if you’ll tell me the cost.”
“No, you don’t have to worry about that. I did that because I genuinely wanted to help you.”
True, I hadn’t asked her to do those things. But I got a clear sense that she normally wouldn’t have done them without the appropriate compensation, though. “Are you sure?” I asked, uncomfortable.
“I meant what I said to you earlier. Some of us swore we would put in more effort to please you if you were to come here.”
I couldn’t hide my disbelief. “Oh. Really?”
“I heard you were still quite young, however, so I didn’t think you would be coming here for some time,” confessed Elise.
A mix of flattery and truth, then. “I’ll take your word for it,” I decided.
“But since it’s true that I wasn’t able to satisfy you, would you at least permit me to escort you outside the pleasure district?”
“Uh, sure.”
As prompted, I left the room with her and we walked together down the narrow hallway. Halfway down it, I felt someone behind us and glanced over my shoulder. I spotted some young girls slipping into the bedroom we’d just left. They carried cleaning supplies, and I guessed they were in charge of tidying the rooms once customers were finished. I recognized one of them—pretty sure she was the girl whose frostbite I had healed. “I guess what you said earlier really was true,” I remarked with surprise.
“You didn’t believe me?”
“I thought it was lip service.”
When I answered her honestly, she just coiled her fingers around my upper arm and stroked it. “To tell the truth, it partly was.”
“I figured.”
“But ten years from now, when that girl starts taking customers of her own, I am sure what she will give you will be sincerity, not flattery.”
Was she trying to convince me to become a repeat customer? I decided to take her words with a grain of salt as we made our way back to the lobby.
We couldn’t convince the clerk to waive my fees. However, on Elise’s personal request, I was given additional time with her, though anything she did during that span would be without compensation.
“I’m told Lord Soldat is drinking next door.”
I followed Elise’s directions and wandered to the neighboring bar. Since it was operated by the same company, I could get there by walking through this building rather than stepping back outside. Perhaps those who weren’t here for sex came here instead, to drink alongside fledgling escorts who were old enough to do the work, but not yet ready to take customers of their own. Here, apprentices of the art could practice and refine their conversational skills until they could flatter as naturally as Elise. Of course, they were probably given guidance elsewhere to develop their other skills.
“So that’s when I told ’em ‘Just one blow, that’s all I need to wipe out these beasts in front of us. You guys just focus on the enemies to our sides and flank.’”
“Aaah! Lord Soldat, you are so sexy!”
“Yeah! You do think I’m sexy, don’t ya?”
Soldat was in the back enjoying his drink while two girls attended to him. When he saw me approach, he immediately stood. “Oh, Quagmire! How’d it go?”
“She tried a number of different techniques on me, but…nothing worked.”
“Ahh, so it was a dud.” Soldat scratched at his head and heaved a sigh. “How the hell should we fix this?” He folded his arms, apparently mulling it over, but I had already given up. In fact, it felt as though my heart might shatter if I kept trying in vain.
“Hey you, what do you think?” Soldat turned the conversation to Elise.
“Me?” she asked, surprised. “I’m afraid I don’t have an answer, beyond regretting that I couldn’t be of more help.”
Soldat remained undeterred. “How did he compare to your other customers? Was there anything that stuck out to you?”
Elise was stunned. “I couldn’t possibly compare him to other customers, that would be—”
“Come on, just say it,” Soldat urged gruffly as her gaze quickly flitted between the two of us.
“Lord Rudeus seems to be…well, frightened of women. He came across as very timid whenever he talked to me, looked at me, or touched me.”
“Go on.”
“Perhaps if his partner were someone he didn’t have to be afraid of, someone he could be certain wouldn’t hate him no matter how things turned out, he might be able to do it.”
“You got anyone like that?” He looked at me.
I shook my head. For a moment I pictured Roxy in my mind, but that was hopeless. Roxy was the person I most respected in the entire world, and therefore the number one person I didn’t want to hate me. In other words, the exact opposite what Elise was proposing.
“I don’t think that’s something he will find immediately. It’s something that has to build gradually over time,” Elise added.
“Yeah, I figured.”
I drank as I listened in to their conversation. Soldat looked serious as he discussed the situation with Elise and continued to consider the matter. “Well, let’s just drink up for now. Drink enough to knock you flat on your ass!”
At his encouragement, I took a seat.
“Pardon, sirs, but it’s about time for us to be closing.”
“Ahh, already that late, huh?”
“Mm…” I hummed back at Soldat.
As the two of us got to our feet, Elise wove her arm around mine. “Allow me to see you off.”
We paid our bill and headed out the door. At some point the darkness had started giving way to light as dawn began to break. It had been dawn when I returned to the city after rescuing Sara, as well. A bitter memory now.
“Urrgh… Ahh, we really chugged down that alcohol. A little too much…” Soldat said.
“Yeah…” I agreed with him.
We’d drunk a ton—gulped it down until we were wasted. Now my feet stumbled and the world spun around me. I didn’t know which way was forward. Down may as well been up, and I couldn’t tell right from left. Heh heh. I took advantage of my state to cop a feel of Elise’s ass.
“Hey, Rudeus,” Soldat said.
“Whaat?”
“Y’know, I… Well, when I’m in a labyrinth, I try not to rush things.”
“Mm.” I listened, even as I wondered what the heck he was talking about all of a sudden.
“See, the further you go into a labyrinth, the stronger the monsters you’re gonna find,” he explained. “Sometimes the bastards even team up with each other. If you panic and run in there blind, you’re just gonna get your ass handed to ya. So you take your time fighting monsters on the first few floors so you can get settled into your formation and get used to things. This is really effective, mmkay? ’Cause lots of those monsters crop up again on other floors.”
“…Yeah, effective! Got it!” So one should observe your opponent’s movements on the previous floors, grow accustomed to how they battled, and then move to the next, right? Yeah, that would be effective!
“What’s her name again, Sara? Don’tcha think you two took things way too fast?”
“Fast? Whaddya mean?” My words were slurring together. “Yeah, I mean, I’m pretty quick in bed, but I dunno if you can really say the same about Sara.”
“That’s not what I mean.” He waved a hand dismissively. “Sounded like she was ready for this, but you needed to take more time and mentally prepare yourself, ya know?”
“Nah,” I disagreed. “It was nothin’ to do with bein’ prepared. I toldja, didn’t I? She didn’t mean it like that. ’Twas obligation, that’s the only reason she’d sleep with me.”
“Nope. If ya ask me, that archer really did seem to have the hots for ya.”
Neither one of us could articulate our thoughts properly, but we were still somehow having this conversation. What was Soldat on about, though? Sara had the hots for me? So what, she only said what she said to hide her embarrassment? Hmm. In retrospect, it did sound a bit tsundere…
Nah, that couldn’t be it. If she really did have those kind of feelings for me, she wouldn’t have called me a disaster.
“Well, ya still got time, yeah? Meet her again, take it casually, and try talkin’ to her as if nothin’ ever happened. If that works, then bit by bit you can open up and let her in, yeah?”
“Yeah, I guess so…”
My mind, heavy with alcohol, began to churn in thought. He was right. I wouldn’t know for sure if I didn’t try talking to her. That was a lesson I’d learned from talking to him, in fact. Communication really was key to us humans.
“Very well,” I finally said. “I will make an attempt to engage with her, either this evening or dawn the next day.” I was pretty sure the members of Counter Arrow had mentioned leaving early this morning for a mission. Judging by how bright the sky was, they had probably left quite a while ago. Yeah…
Wait. Uh, wasn’t I supposed to be going with them?
Oops. Looks like I was a no-show then.
“Well, I am afraid this is far as I am able to accompany you. Lord Rudeus, will you be all right?” Elise disentangled herself as we approached the exit to the pleasure district. The absence of her soft breasts and warmth left my body feeling lonely.
“Mm, yeah, I’ll be just fine. I am…a magician! I can use Detoxification!” I declared.
“Are you really sure you’ll be all right?”
“Mm, yup, fiiine. But, Elise, just one last time, can I touch your chest?”
She was quiet for a moment. “Yes, be my guest.”
“Yeah, thanks!” I squished them in my hands just a wee bit. The buddy between my legs remained his droopy self, though. Yep, he was down there crouching. After all, you had to crouch in order to leap up high. He was just preparing for that.
Yeah, really. That was all it was. Crouching.
“Though I wasn’t able to please you today, I hope you will come see me again.” Elise planted a kiss on my cheek, retreated a few steps, and bowed before she left.
“Got it!” I answered, even though I knew I likely wouldn’t be returning. Maybe if I managed to fix my problem. Maybe then the next time I got to feel those breasts, my buddy down below would actually spring to life.
I turned to Soldat. “Well, time to go home!”
“Yeah! Make sure you talk to her!”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
My adventure in the pleasure district hadn’t fixed anything, but it didn’t feel like it’d been a waste of money. My time with Elise had brought me some comfort, at least. Even if I didn’t feel electricity race down my spine, I still got to enjoy the softness of her breasts.
“Do you really get it, though?” Soldat asked, doubtful. “Actually, today I’m gonna—” He stopped in his tracks partway through a sentence.
“Yeah, I get it!” I barked. “Sheesh, you really won’t let it go. Even if it doesn’t work, meh. I should be the one sayin’ no thanks to a flat-chested chick like that. Women are only good if they’re like Elise and have some bounce goin’ on in the chest area!”
No reply.
“C’mon, Soldat, you agree, don’t ya? I mean, us going shopping and eating together… How stupid. Like, are we playin’ house here or what?”
“Uh, Quagmire, think you better leave it at that.”
“Leave it at what? It’s just a simple fact. Sara is a kid and Elise is a proper grown-up woman.”
I finally glanced over at Soldat, wondering what it was he was trying to say. His eyes were fixed on something in front of him, and he wore an ‘ Oh shit’ look on his face.
I followed his gaze and I saw two women standing there. One was Suzanne, clad in her steel breastplate and gauntlets, looking ready to set off on an adventure. The other was Sara. She similarly looked prepared to set off, but her eyes were swollen and ringed with dark circles, almost as if she’d spent the night crying.
They were also looking at me, with shock and dismay on their faces. Shit, I thought as Sara came at me. Her steps were short, swift. “Sara, wait, that’s not what I meant to say just now—”
My voice caught in my throat at the expression on her face. I swallowed back my words. Sara’s gaze was cold as ice, as if she were wearing a noh mask. Elise had quickly stepped away as she approached.
Slap!
A dry smack echoed through the quiet streets of the pleasure district. My head swiveled with the impact and my cheek burned where she struck me.
“You’re scum! Never show your face to me again!” I heard her say, my head still turned away. By the time I looked back, she was already racing over to Suzanne, who had an intense look on her face as well.
“That was unacceptable,” Suzanne said quietly, though it was loud enough for me to hear. She put a hand on Sara’s shoulder and the two left together.
I had no idea what had just happened. In a split second, I’d sobered completely. When I looked over at Soldat, he had his head tilted back with his palm pressed over his face.
There was one thing I did understand: I had just been rejected completely. There was no mistaking it. What I’d said was the alcohol talking, but that didn’t matter to Sara. She’d heard what I said and decided she never wanted to see me again.
As adventurers, we were bound to run into each other at the Adventurers’ Guild. I was sure she would look at me with disgust every time we did, now, and perhaps Suzanne would, too. Not just her, but Timothy and Patrice as well. Now, they would be the ones to regard me with the revulsion that Soldat once had.
I sank to my knees. I couldn’t stand. “Ah…aah…”
This was it. I couldn’t do it anymore. I’d spent a whole year with them and finally, finally started to become friends, but this was how it all ended. No more. “I should just die.”
I took a knife from my pocket and put it to the base of my neck.
Something instantly hit my wrist and I dropped the blade. Soldat had struck me with the side of his hand.
“Idiot, don’t be hasty! This was just a misunderstanding. Here you almost slept together, then she sees you coming out of the pleasure district with an escort and you talking shit about her. Of course she’s gonna get the wrong idea! Besides, the fact that they were still here means they must’ve been looking for you. Hurry up and run after them! Go explain things! You can still set it right. Well? Stop dicking around—stand up and get going!”
“None of that…even matters anymore. That’s it… It’s the end… I don’t want to do it anymore…!”
As I choked out a sob, Soldat slapped me on the shoulder. “Then why don’t you go home for now, instead? You don’t gotta work it all out with your mom and dad, but at least let them take care of you… Ah, wait, you said your mom is missing. Where was your dad again? The Asura Kingdom?”
“…Millis. The Holy Country of Millis, as part of the Fittoa Search and Rescue Squad.”
“Ah, then I guess that won’t work. That’s pretty far away.” Soldat scratched at the back of his head and hummed in thought.
Going home was certainly one option. After this bruising, I didn’t have the willpower to go on by myself anymore. It might be good to go back to where Paul was and spend my time looking after Norn and Aisha, together with Lilia. I couldn’t do anything by myself. I was mature enough, mentally speaking, but this was all I amounted to. No matter how much time went by, this was all I was capable of.
Even so, home was too far away. It would take at least a year to reach Millis from here. Paul and the others might move elsewhere by then. We might even miss each other. There was no way I could drag along this shattered heart of mine and keep living in the meantime.
It was hopeless.
“Well, how about coming with me?” Soldat blurted out, just as I began to despair.
“…Huh?”
“An enormous labyrinth was discovered in the Neris Dukedom. A couple parties within Thunderbolt got orders to go conquer it. That includes us, so we’re thinking about leaving today. You wanna tag along?”
I was confused. They were leaving today? So that meant he’d spent the night before their departure looking out for me?
“But I don’t want to enter anyone’s—”
“You don’t gotta join our party. I’m just asking if you wanna come with. If you’re that terrified of seeing those guys again, you can go somewhere else and find new people, yeah? There’s as many women out there as there are stars in the sky. Whaddya say?”
I slowly raised my head. Soldat was glancing down at me. As usual, his expression bordered on the edge of derision. The look in his eyes, however, was genuine.
“Why are you…willing to go this far for me?”
He shrugged. “No particular reason.”
“But I thought you hated me?”
“Yeah, that creepy smile of yours and that sickeningly polite speech like some kinda saint… That crap really rubbed me the wrong way. I wanted to get you to drop the mask. But now I know all about what’s going on with you. I get that you have valid reasons for acting the way you do. There’s no reason to hate you anymore.”
So that was it. Soldat really didn’t hate me anymore.
“I poked and prodded and just when I thought you’d blown up at me, you started sobbing like a child. I feel like I messed up, too. People have things they want to keep to themselves, y’know? I knew that, but I kept pushing you anyway.”
I felt like I’d really misunderstood Soldat. There had been more than one occasion when I found myself wondering how a functioning party could possibly have a leader like him, but he’d turned out to be a much better person than I’d imagined. Yeah, sure, he had his faults, too. In fact, his flaws were mostly what I’d been exposed to so far. But his party members could laugh those off because they were well aware of his good points, too.
“So, what’ll it be?” Soldat asked as I mulled it over.
For now, I just wanted to get away from here. The thought of running into Sara because I’d hung around dragging my feet terrified me.
“I’ll go. Please take me with you.”
I knew this amounted to running away, but I wanted to be free of this place. Even if I went to a new land, I had no intention of looking for someone new. I’d had my fill of trying to get intimate with another person. I wanted to fix my problem if I could, of course, but I was dead sure that leaving Rosenburg wasn’t going to do it. Whatever. It was fine. I’d gone without sex in my previous life. Giving up on it now wasn’t going to kill me.
“Okay, well, let’s be off then.”
I gradually rose to my feet with Soldat’s encouragement, looked at the rising sun, and swore to myself that never again would I rely on a single party.
Sara
M eanwhile, Sara was left feeling shocked and resentful after the encounter, harboring a fierce loathing for the one named Rudeus Greyrat. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t, I can’t!” she shrieked.
It was just after noon. A substantial amount of time had passed since she’d slapped the boy. Currently, she was on the bank of a river about half a day’s distance from Rosenburg. The party was escorting some fisherfolk, a C-ranked request that posed no danger. In other words, Sara had nothing to do. As a result, she’d spent her free time cursing Rudeus.
“I can’t believe I—with that lowlife…! What scum! A complete and utter scumbag!”
She was frustrated. She had really liked him.
Of course, she couldn’t stand him at first. But even when they did their first job together, she’d more or less understood that he wasn’t a bad person. Her feelings for him went no further than that: he was just a cowardly noble boy, despite the enormous power he possessed.
That impression of him had only changed after what happened in the Galgau Ruins. He took up the rear and faced the horde of snow drakes without saying a word, just so the rest of them could escape. Rudeus was certainly strong enough to have outrun the creatures alone, but he’d prioritized getting Counter Arrow out alive. Back then, she didn’t understand why he’d hidden his abilities, but she did realize he was the kind of person who’d sacrifice himself to save others.
From there, her feelings for him gradually began to change. Sara started to take an interest in what he said and did. She tried to dismiss her budding feelings, reminding herself that she hated adventurers who were born into nobility, or really that she just hated nobles as a whole. But the denial didn’t stick, and somewhere in her heart she realized that Rudeus was different from the nobles she hated.
The mess in Trier Forest was the last straw in getting her to admit her true feelings. Or perhaps it was better to call it an opportunity rather than a mess. At death’s door in that forest, witnessing Rudeus coming to save her by himself, she finally acknowledged it wasn’t hatred in her heart, but rather, affection. She’d fallen for Rudeus.
With that realization, Sara took an assertive approach. She started inviting him to their hangouts and actively engaging him in conversation. The more they talked, the more her affection for him grew. When she looked at him, she felt his blossoming affection for her. Sara was too embarrassed to confess her feelings directly, so she planned to use her life debt to him as a pretext for bedding him. Then, she’d decided, she would reveal her true feelings once they’d slept together.
Which was why what followed came as such a shock.
His body didn’t react to hers. Rudeus seemed like he cared about her, and even seemed receptive to her feelings for him, but apparently he felt no attraction to her body. It was a slap in the face.
If she’d had the wits to watch Rudeus’ reaction more closely, she would have realized he was in shock, too—he hadn’t intended this to happen, and he was just as anxious as her. Unfortunately, it was Sara’s first time and she didn’t have enough composure for that. It was all she could do to spit some words at him to save her pride and get out of there. She’d sobbed as she fled back to her inn, and continued to cry as she explained the situation to Suzanne. She spent the entire night in tears, but somehow resolved to put on a cheery front the next day.
But Rudeus wasn’t at their meeting spot the next day. At his inn, the owner told them he’d left the previous night and not returned. Asking around, they learned that Soldat had dragged him off someplace.
Rudeus—and the whole of Counter Arrow, in fact—did not get along with Soldat. Maybe he and Soldat had gotten into it, and Soldat had dragged him off to hang him? As Sara fretted over the possibilities, she and Suzanne followed Rudeus’ tracks. That was when they spotted him—at the entrance to the red-light district, kissing a red-haired escort.
Unbelievable. After Sara hadn’t been able to satisfy him, he’d gone and had sex with a prostitute instead. Soldat stood nearby, and the two of them were very clearly hammered.
Then she heard what he said.
Based on everything she’d seen and heard, Sara came to this conclusion: Rudeus had spent the night with Soldat, bedding women and downing the same alcohol he refused to drink with her and the other members of Counter Arrow. He laughed as he recounted how utterly undesirable and unattractive her body had been. Her shock and devastation took over, keeping her from putting together the tell-tale clues that suggested otherwise. Her affection for him instantly turned inside-out into loathing.
If Sara had been a bit older, she might have been able to think about this calmly. Unfortunately, she was just a sixteen-year-old girl. Teenagers her age were certain that everything they saw and felt was fact. Besides, she had lived her whole life as an adventurer, and had no idea how to restrain the surge of emotion that resulted. She certainly didn’t realize that she had a bad habit of lying to herself and ignoring the truth.
“Hey, Sara.”
Suzanne was a bit more mature in that respect. She had seen Rudeus and Soldat too, but her impression of the encounter was slightly different. Now that her emotions had cooled, she realized there was something off about what Rudeus had said. The boy she saw that night was not the Rudeus she knew. Something had happened. Suzanne had been in this sort of situation before, and she knew the danger in taking what you saw at face value.
On the other hand, it was possible Rudeus really had been dishonest with them. Which was why she opted to first comfort Sara, rather than act as a mediator.
“Do you think maybe we kind of misunderstood the situation?” Suzanne asked.
“What part did we misunderstand?!” Sara barked back at her. “After I—after we… And then he had the audacity to show up with some prostitute and start belittling me…”
“Think about it,” Suzanne urged her. “Could Rudeus really be such a despicable guy?”
“No duh, he just hid it from us this entire time! I was fooled—we all were! Who knows, maybe he was even in league with Stepped Leader back at the Galgau Ruins!”
“Oh boy…” Suzanne shrugged helplessly. She wasn’t well-versed in affairs of romance herself, so she didn’t have any good advice to offer. While she searched for words, Sara continued to brim with unfiltered resentment.
Timothy interjected, “What’s wrong? Isn’t it about time you guys tell me what happened too?”
“Sara, can I give him the non-specifics?”
Sara didn’t care that Timothy was the party leader—she had no interest in sharing the details of her situation. But knowing how it might impact the party’s mood, she weakly nodded at Suzanne.
“Okay, so what happened is…” Suzanne spoke in a whisper, relaying the events to Timothy. She did her utmost to keep it vague and remain as objective as possible.
After a few moments, Timothy suddenly looked up. “Soldat, huh? Perhaps you should ask that escort for the exact details of what happened, then.”
“But Soldat hates us,” Suzanne protested.
“The only one he hates is me. And Rudeus, but you saw them together. Maybe he was trying to help? The man has a bad attitude and talks trash, but I’ve heard rumors that he’s good at looking after people. If he really was rotten to the core, he wouldn’t be the leader of a veteran S-rank party like Stepped Leader. Besides, if Soldat really wanted to get at Sara, he wouldn’t go about it in such a roundabout manner. He’d have a man wait in her room for her, or—”
“Timothy, we get it,” Suzanne cut in. “Enough.”
Sara lifted her head. She had to admit that Timothy had a point. She had been too caught up in self-pity to really observe her surroundings that night, but it had seemed like Rudeus was depressed, too. Maybe the way things played out had been beyond even his control.
“Let me ask him about it when we get home,” Suzanne offered.
“No, I’ll ask him myself,” Sara resolved. And if it turns out I just jumped to conclusions, then I’ll apologize .
However, by the time Sara returned to the town, Rudeus was nowhere to be found. He was neither at the Adventurers’ Guild nor at the inn.
“ Quagmire? Dunno, haven’t seen him today.”
“Hmm.”
Unable to find him anywhere else, Sara ventured into the pleasure district. The businesses there were already beginning to open as night approached, but customers had yet to start arriving, so numbers on the streets were still thin. Sara began asking after Rudeus’ location. Perhaps she suspected, in the back of her mind, that he might return here tonight.
She went through several brothels, which were still preparing to open, before she spotted a certain woman.
“I-It’s you…” Sara gasped.
“Hm? Ohh.”
It was Elise. Sara didn’t know the woman’s name, just that she was a prostitute and that she’d witnessed her kissing Rudeus on the cheek that morning. “Hey, do you happen to know where Rudeus is?”
“No, afraid not. Perhaps the Adventurers’ Guild?” Elise frowned at the sudden visitor, not recognizing her.
“He wasn’t there. He came and saw you last night, didn’t he? Do you know anything?”
“Ah, you must be Sara.” That was enough for Elise to guess the identity of the girl before her. She glared unforgivingly at Sara, remembering why Rudeus—who’d helped a girl she considered a younger sister—had come to her yesterday. And the expression on his face, and the emotions he’d struggled with as he went home. “What do you plan to do when you find him? Back him into a corner again?”
“Back him into a corner?” Sara echoed back, surprised. “I just wanted to ask him about yesterday.”
“Very well. Then I will answer for you.” Elise began recounting Rudeus’ story, with every intention of laying the blame on Sara. Escorts were generally prohibited from disclosing details about their customers, but she felt like she had to share this.
“Impotence?” After listening to the whole thing, Sara tilted her head. She had never even heard of the concept before.
“It’s an illness where men aren’t able to get it up anymore. He’s already greatly saddened and upset about the situation. What more do you plan to say to him?”
“No, I—”
Elise ignored her and continued, “If you didn’t realize how hurt he was, then you’re not ready to be his partner. Don’t you think you should give him some space?”
“Yeah…I guess so.”
Sara had nothing to say in her defense, so she took her leave. Once out of the pleasure district, she tottered down the road back to her inn, where Suzanne waited for her.
“Oh, welcome back, Sara. I just heard that Rudeus apparently left the town this morning. What do you want to do? Should we go after him?”
“…No.”
Sara just continued to her room with a glum look on her face. She flopped onto her bed and reflected on what had happened. Now she was not only weighed down by her own pain, but by the knowledge that Rudeus had been hurt as well. She continued to digest that fact well into the late hours, finally mumbling, “I would have at least liked to apologize.”
But she was too scared to pursue him. She feared he might not listen, feared he would push her away. Additionally, she realized that his leaving town without saying anything to them was also a sign of rejection.
A sob escaped her throat. In the end, Sara curled up in her bed like a turtle and didn’t move at all. When dawn broke and she finally drew herself out of bed, she was keenly aware of two things: that she had dark circles beneath her eyes, and that Rudeus had rejected her. She knew her love had ended, and as she watched the rising sun, she thought to herself: But if it comes to pass that we meet again, I’d like to apologize. And be sincere about it.
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