Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 9 - Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Clueless, but Perceptive 

WINTER HAD ARRIVED, and the city of Sharia in the Kingdom of Ranoa was covered in snow. Thanks to the city’s famous magic implements, the roads and major pathways were kept clear, but massive piles of snow quickly built up to the sides and behind the main school building. 

Not long after this season began, a letter found its way to me. It was from a certain Soldat Heckler, S-ranked adventurer and head of the party Stepped Leader, and it informed me that Soldat had just arrived in town. Apparently, there was some kind of clan conference taking place here. Thunderbolt, the clan Stepped Leader belonged to, had been officially summoned to this city to fight the Demon King Badigadi. But when that request was cancelled prior to their arrival, they ended up hanging around in town for some time anyway, and eventually decided to hold their yearly clan meeting here. Every winter, they took two or three months to talk things over and make plans for the future. 

Soldat was an S-ranked adventurer and a member of the clan leadership. Choosing not to attend the conference wasn’t an option, so he’d been forced to come all the way to the Kingdom of Ranoa. The man didn’t get along too well with his clan’s leader, and he’d honestly been dreading this. He was convinced he had a couple long, dreary months ahead of him. But then, on his way up here, he remembered that his old buddy Q uagmire happened to be staying in this city. Since fate had brought us back together, we might as well take the chance to reconnect. Thus, he sent me this letter inviting me to catch up over a meal. 

The idea appealed to me as well. Soldat was a good guy, and I owed him a lot. He had a past with Elinalise, so I felt like it might be a little awkward introducing him to her devoted new boyfriend…but he was made of tougher stuff than me. He’d probably get over it easily enough. 

With that decided, I let Nanahoshi know that I’d be taking a break from our experiments on the next day off. I invited Fitz to join me but he frowned and shook his head. “Sorry, I’ve got something else that afternoon. I’m guarding Princess Ariel.” 

The life of a bodyguard wasn’t easy. Everybody else might be off for the day, but he was on duty from dawn to dusk. Talk about a slave to the machine. 

No, no. I was being rude to Master Fitz. He was just devoted to his work. In any case, I couldn’t ask him to ditch his responsibilities. It was a pity he couldn’t make it, but that’s just how things went sometimes. It seemed only Elinalise, Cliff, and I were going to meet Soldat. 

When the day came, the three of us walked over to the Adventurers’ Guild together. The roads in town were clear enough, but their surface was still white with a trampled layer of snow. The stuff was removed regularly throughout the day, but often the snowstorms grew more intense at night, and the city’s magical snow removal couldn’t keep up. 

“Hey! Are you even listening to me, Rudeus?” 

“What? Of course I’m listening.” 

For the last few minutes, Cliff had been boasting about his plans for his own research. He’d been studying curses intensively for some time now, with the ultimate goal of lifting Elinalise’s. But curses had been around since ancient times, and were the subject of ongoing study throughout history, so lifting one wasn’t as easy as you might hope. For all of Cliff’s bravado, six months of dedicated research hadn’t yet brought him any major successes. 

“Isn’t it tough, working that hard with nothing to show for it?” 

“I’m not worried in the slightest,” said Cliff, his voice full of genuine confidence. “I’m a genius, so I’ll figure something out eventually!” 

You had to admire the guy. I knew there were some things I’d never accomplish no matter how hard I tried; I probably couldn’t have motivated myself to slam repeatedly against a brick wall like that. Smashing your way into a whole new frontier nobody had ever reached before really was something only a “genius” could ever hope to do. 

“Still, if you know anything about curses, I hope you’ll share your knowledge with me.” 

“Hm…?” 

I paused a moment to think this over. I felt like I’d heard the word curses pop up quite a few times during my journey from the Demon Continent to this city. “Uh, let’s see…” 

Where had I heard it, exactly? Curses, curses… for some reason, the sound of the word made me want to cringe in fear. That was probably because Orsted had a few of them. It was the Man-God who’d told me that, right? 

Come to think of it, I’d heard the Demon-God Laplace was cursed as well. He’d supposedly transferred his into the spears he gave the Superd, dooming them to centuries of persecution. 

“Well, I’ve heard that Laplace once transferred his own curse into a number of objects, and used them to pass it onto a certain tribe of demons.” 

“Objects…?” 

“Right. To be specific, the spears the Superd used during the Laplace War. Thanks to the curse on those weapons, they lost their sanity and ended up getting a reputation as mindless killers.” 

Cliff opened his eyes wide. “What? I’ve never heard that before! Is that actually true?!” 

“Well, I only heard it secondhand, so I can’t say for sure.” 

Was it the Man-God who’d told me that as well? Yeah, that sounded right. It was probably safe to take him at his word on this one. I couldn’t see what he’d stand to gain by lying to me about it. 

“Either way, that is a most intriguing concept. I didn’t know it was possible to transfer a curse into an object.” Cliff put his hand to his chin and nodded thoughtfully, apparently pondering the idea. 

“I don’t know how you’d do it, though. Sorry.” 

“That’s all right. Just knowing that it’s been done before is very helpful in itself.” 

Had anybody other than Laplace even pulled it off, though? It seemed like the sort of evil trick you’d expect a Demon God to use, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if there was some ancient taboo against messing around with that sort of thing. 

That said… Blessed and Cursed children were supposedly the exact same thing, right? Maybe there was some precedent for trying to move a blessing into a different vessel, at least. “Hmm. Cliff, do you know if anyone’s ever tried to transfer a blessing, rather than a curse?” 

“Hm? What do the Blessed have to do with anything?” said Cliff, tilting his head curiously. 

Strange. It felt like we weren’t working from the same starting point here. “Uh, well, Blessed Children are the same as Cursed ones, right? They’re all born with something strange about their mana, which gives them odd powers. The only difference is whether the effect happens to be positive or negative.” 

“…That’s news to me.” 

I looked over to Elinalise for backup, but she was also looking at me in surprise. Evidently neither of them had heard this before. Maybe it wasn’t widely known? I seemed to remember someone telling me about it really casually, though… 

Wait, that was the Man-God too. 

All of this was Man-God information, wasn’t it? That guy needed to stop dropping obscure arcane knowledge on me like it was nothing. 

“Still, this is all very interesting… Objects, eh? Very interesting indeed… Perhaps I could try that…” Cliff was squirming with excitement. He looked convinced that I’d handed him an important clue. To be honest, I think he was swallowing everything I told him a little too readily, but whatever. 

Either way, it felt like curses had some connection to the so-called gods of this world. The Man-God, the Dragon God, and the Demon God all had at least one. And then there were the Blessed Children, who were supposedly “divine” somehow. Was there some meaningful connection here, or was it just a coincidence? 

“Thank you, Rudeus. I think you’ve helped me hit on something!” 

Cliff’s face was full of optimism and energy. While he was at it, maybe he could find a way to fix the “curse” afflicting my private parts. 

“Hey, Q uagmire! Long time no see!” 

Soldat and his buddies greeted me with easy smiles; within a few minutes, we’d made our way to a nearby tavern and settled down around a large table. 

When they heard about Cliff and Elinalise’s relationship, the members of Stepped Leader were…shocked, to put it mildly. “What the hell?” someone piped up, stifling a laugh. “Are you seriously getting married? And here I thought you were a slut for life.” 

Cliff exploded with anger, obviously. But Soldat and the others just found that hilarious, which drove Cliff to new heights of fury. For a moment, I thought things might come to blows. Fortunately, Elinalise somehow talked her boyfriend down while simultaneously changing the subject. The woman was seriously impressive sometimes, especially when it came to anger management. 

Come to think of it, I’d never once seen her get angry or break down in tears. She’d gotten sulky a few times, sure, but never seriously upset. Paul was the only person she’d ever mentioned hating. What the hell had my old man done to her, anyway? 

While I pondered all of this, the topic somehow shifted to my outfit. I’d worn my school uniform, as usual. “It’s funny seein’ you in that outfit, Q uagmire! Makes you look just like another random rookie!” 

Some students from the University of Magic made a habit of coming over to the Adventurers’ Guild still wearing their uniforms, with at most a cloak thrown on above them. Almost all of them were rookies at rank F or E, so they didn’t interact directly with Soldat’s party very often. But sometimes, they’d come up begging for an invitation to Thunderbolt. 

“Hmm. Well, if I’m a rookie now, why don’t I act like it and carry your luggage for you?” 

“Hah! Nice try, kid. Nobody touches our stuff but us!” 

“Right, right. I seem to remember you hauling back all the goodies from that stray dragon…” 

“Ah man, that was one profitable day…” 

It was kind of fun reminiscing about this stuff. When I’d taken down that Red Wyrm, the whole party had carried its meat and scales all the way back to town to split up equally. 

“Oh, right. That reminds me, Q uagmire! So we were up in the Neris Tundra the other month, and—” 

From this point on, the conversation shifted from reminiscing about the past to stories of Stepped Leader’s recent adventures. Cliff still looked pretty sulky for a while, but as Soldat and the others went on, his eyes began to sparkle with excitement. Come to think of it, he’d once dreamed of becoming an adventurer, right? I guess he is still just a teenager. It’s easy to forget, given how he usually acts. 

“—So we got outta there in one piece, at least. Anyway, it’s about time we moved to a new place, right? What’s next?” 

We’d all finished our food, and the story was at an end. It seemed like a good time to find ourselves a new tavern and start really drinking, but… A messenger from the clan came out of nowhere just as we were leaving. “Hey, Soldat. They’ve just called another meeting.” 

“What, again? Are you serious? We just had one this morning!” 

“Sorry, but it’s happening. The leader’s really full of energy today, I guess.” 

From the sound of things, Soldat was being called to a sudden gathering of party leaders, and declining to show up wasn’t an option. “Shit. Sorry, Q uagmire. I was lookin’ forward to killing a whole day getting drunk with you, but I guess it ain’t happening this time. Let’s pick up where we left off another day, okay?” 

“No problem, Soldat. Send me a message any time you’re free.” 

With a firm nod, Soldat strode off down the street. 

In any case, we’d lost the host of our party, so it was probably time to call it a day. It was only early afternoon, though—maybe 2:30 at the latest. If I went home now, I’d be left with a lot of time to kill. “What should we do now?” I asked, looking around the group. 

“Well, actually,” said Elinalise, “I was hoping we could teach Cliff a thing or two about adventuring.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

Interesting. Elinalise must have noticed how excited her boyfriend got over Stepped Leader’s stories and had decided to show off her chops as an adventurer. 

“Ooh, now that sounds like fun. Gonna educate a rookie, huh?” 

“Can we tag along too?” 

The other members of Stepped Leader seemed to approve of the idea as well. After a little more discussion, everyone was generally on board with giving Cliff a taste of the adventuring life. The idea was to take on a request to slay an A-ranked monster and get him some real experience. Cliff was a little grumpy about the vaguely condescending way everyone was talking about him, but his excitement seemed to override that. 

“What about you, Rudeus?” asked Elinalise. 

“Well… I think I’ll pass, actually.” I could give Cliff some advice on how to contribute in a party with multiple mages, but somehow, I didn’t think he’d want to get lectured by someone younger than him. In situations like this, it was easier to swallow your pride when everyone teaching you was older. 

Also, it wasn’t a great idea for me to go spend a couple days hunting down some elusive monster. If I didn’t run it by Nanahoshi first, I could imagine her getting very, very cranky. Despite her self-imposed isolation, the girl seemed weirdly hungry for company. She got sulky every time I went a day or two without helping her. If she wanted to be a real shut-in, she needed to learn how to savor the loner lifestyle. Of course, it seemed like she missed Japan a lot, so I could understand her wanting someone to speak her native language with. But as someone who’d decided to keep living in this world, it was hard to resist telling her to go outside more often. 

“All right then. Will you let everyone know where we’re going, then?” 

“Yeah, no problem. You be careful out there, Elinalise. You’ve got a beginner with you, so don’t drag him anywhere too dangerous.” 

“Don’t worry, Rudeus. Unlike a certain someone, we’re not planning to go challenge a Red Wyrm or a Demon King.” 

It wasn’t like I’d fought Badigadi because I wanted to, but okay. Whatever. 

After saying my goodbyes, I headed back toward the University alone. From the Adventurers’ District, that meant walking across Sharia’s central commercial plaza. As I entered the area, the tempting scent of grilled meat on sticks wafted through the air to me. I looked toward the scent, and found that a number of merchants had set up outdoor stalls, despite the snow everywhere. Must be rough doing business out here in this cold, man… 

Still, I had some free time to burn. I could head back to the dorms, but there wasn’t much to do there except studying, practicing, and making figurines. Maybe it would have been smarter to just tag along with Cliff and company, instead of overthinking it. Too late now, though. 

“Well, I’m out here already. Might as well look around a little.” I aimlessly set out down the streets of the Commerce District. 

I didn’t need anything in particular, but maybe I’d spot something interesting. After that discussion with Cliff, I was somewhat interested in the various kinds of magic items. Those cursed spears Laplace gave the Superd were presumably magical implements of some sort, after all. I hadn’t given much thought to magic items up until now, since the ones on sale were all incredibly expensive. But Fitz was apparently equipped with some, and Nanahoshi had a few handy artifacts of her own. Sharia was basically the hometown of the Magicians’ Guild. Maybe I’d find a few interesting things for sale here. I wasn’t planning to actually purchase them, but a little window-shopping never hurt anyone. 

Incidentally, though I’d originally got the two categories confused, magic items and magical implements were two distinct things. Magical implements were man-made objects with magic circles engraved on them. When the user chanted a specific incantation, their mana would flow through these, producing some effect. As long as the user’s mana wasn’t exhausted, they could be reused indefinitely. Magic items, on the other hand, were objects infused with their own supply of mana. You activated them through some sort of gesture or action. They could only produce their effects a few times per day, but their internal mana supply would regenerate over the course of several hours. 

Basically, magical implements could be used quickly many times in a row, but they cost you mana, whereas magic items had limited uses, but didn’t require anything from you. Magic items were generally considered to be more practical and useful, since you didn’t need to expend your precious mana or memorize an incantation to use them. But most of those in existence had been found deep inside various labyrinths, and their capabilities were kind of random. As a result, those with powerful effects tended to fetch astronomical prices. Those boots Fitz wore, for example, were probably worth considerably more than every piece of property I owned combined. As a side note, though, some of the weapons known as “magic swords” were man-made but also had the qualities of a magic item. 

Of course, I had more than enough mana to go around, so magic implements were also alright by me. Even ones that used too much mana to be practical for most people might prove useful to me. I was kind of hoping I might stumble across something like that, misclassified as a “defective” product, if I searched the shops here thoroughly enough. 

But then, as I was walking down some random street, I noticed two familiar faces. “Hm?” 

Luke and Fitz were chatting with each other in front of a clothing store of some sort. Fitz was looking at some trinket in the show window with a delighted expression on his face. Luke was smiling too, although he also looked slightly exasperated. He was already carrying a large shopping bag in one hand. It almost looked like they were out on a date. 

Didn’t Fitz say he’s guarding Ariel today? Is it okay for them to be hanging out here like this? Well, whatever. Can’t hurt to say hello, at least… 

“Good afternoon. I wasn’t expecting to run into you two out here.” 

“What th— Rudeus?!” 

Luke spun around, his face stiffening in shock. As always, the man didn’t seem to be especially fond of me. I was doing my best not to tread on their turf or anything, but I guess I’d gotten myself too much attention lately. That was probably a source of some irritation for them. All I really cared about was staying on good terms with Fitz, though. 

“…Hm?” 

Somehow, Fitz seemed…different today. Was he dressed differently, maybe? No. This was something else. I couldn’t seem to put my finger on it. “Master Fitz, did you change up your look or something?” 

As soon as the words left my mouth, Fitz twitched and looked at me with an expression of pure shock on his face. Was it the way he held himself, maybe? His body also seemed a little more…rounded out, somehow. 

As I continued to study him, Fitz turned his face away from mine. An instant later, Luke slipped himself in between the two of us. “Hello there, Rudeus. What are you doing here? Did you need something from us?” 

It felt like he was hiding Fitz from me… like an overprotective boyfriend or something. His tone was calm, and although his gaze was sharp, it wasn’t openly hostile. Still, there was definitely some tension in his voice. Had I come across them at an inconvenient moment? 

Were the two of them actually out on a date? Maybe Luke actually swung both ways, and the two of them had an arrangement? It would make sense for them to try and keep that a secret. There might be something of a stir if everyone found out that Ariel’s guardians were lovers. 

I didn’t seriously think that was the case, of course. But for some reason, the thought still made me flinch. “Not really. I just saw the two of you and thought I’d say hello… Uhm, Master Fitz?” 

Fitz hadn’t even glanced in my direction for a while now. …Huh? Is he giving me the cold shoulder? But why, though? Was it something I said? 

“I see. Thank you for the greetings. I have to remind you, though, that Fitz isn’t supposed to speak while he’s guarding the Princess. I’m sure you understand, yes?” 

His words were superficially friendly, but Luke was trying to chase me off. One thing was clear, at least. I’d definitely come by at an inconvenient moment. Still, it seemed really harsh of Fitz to ignore me completely like this… 

Fitz still wasn’t looking at me. Well, no. He was shooting me glances now and then, but they weren’t exactly friendly. I could tell he was frowning. His body language made it very clear that he was waiting impatiently for me to leave. I can be a bit oblivious at times, but even I could see that he was snubbing me. 

“What’s the matter?” asked Luke calmly. 

“It’s nothing. Please excuse me.” 

I turned and walked off quietly. I don’t think I gave anything away on the surface, but on the inside, this was hitting me hard. Being shunned like that by Fitz hurt so badly that I could hardly even think straight. 

I’d lost all interest in window-shopping. It was time to go home. 

The road in front of me was covered in a coating of slightly grimy snow. It was coming down again, of course. 

The wind felt very cold today. 

Slowly, I made my way back to the University campus. 

I thought things over at some length as I walked, but I couldn’t come up with any explanation for why Fitz had treated me like that. As far I recalled, I hadn’t done anything to upset him recently. I kind of wanted to talk to someone. Or maybe just vent. 

Zanoba was off at the Magicians’ Guild today, helping them with their research into Blessed Children. He’d probably taken Julie with him. Linia and Pursena were technically an option, but I wasn’t too optimistic that they’d take this seriously. It would probably end up with them jumping to conclusions and teasing me ruthlessly. Elinalise and Cliff weren’t an option, of course. Badigadi didn’t seem to be on campus today, either. And Nanahoshi… kind of had her hands full with her own problems. 

I couldn’t think of anyone else to turn to. I didn’t have that many friends. 

In the end, I headed straight over to the library. At times like these, it was best to sit somewhere quiet and lose yourself in a stupid book for a couple hours. A tale of heroism or adventure might be nice right about now. Had any tales about Kishirika and Badigadi been turned into a book? That was the sort of thing I wanted right now: the tale of two peerless warriors, smacking pitiful magicians around as they cackled with laughter… 

I stepped into the library, nodding slightly at the guard. We’d never had an actual conversation, but I’d been here often enough that he let me pass automatically. I paused for a moment to brush the snow off my clothes, used a silent spell to quickly dry myself off, and then headed for my usual seat with a small sigh of relief. 

The building was, as I’d expected, nearly empty. There weren’t many students here who spent their days off in the library. In this world, reading wasn’t that big a thing in general… the literacy rate wasn’t especially high, after all. 

“…Huh?” 

Somehow, Fitz was in here. He was sitting at the table we usually shared, reading a book with his head propped in his hands and a mildly bored expression on his face. 

“Oh! Hi there, Rudeus.” When he noticed me approaching, he looked up with his usual bashful smile. “Back already? I thought you’d be staying out later. Did you meet your friend, at least?” 

“Uh, yeah…” I sat across the table from Fitz, and studied his face carefully. He seemed… normal. His clothing and his mannerisms were the same as always. 

There was something very strange about this. I’d run into him outside, and then headed straight over to the library. The path I’d followed here was basically the shortest possible route. How the hell was he sitting here right now? 

“Uh, what’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” said Fitz, running his hand over it anxiously. 

This was the other thing, right here. Why was he acting like this? He’d snubbed me to my face five minutes ago, but now he seemed totally relaxed and trusting. 

“Why did you ignore me like that earlier?” 

The question popped out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Fitz’s smile froze in place. After a moment, he carefully assumed a serious expression. “Well, you know… I’m actually not supposed to talk to anyone when I’m on guard duty. I’m Silent Fitz and all, you know? My voice is kind of childish, so people don’t take me seriously when I speak. When I’m in public, particularly when I’m guarding Princess Ariel, she wants me to keep quiet as much as possible.” 

“Is that right? I didn’t see Princess Ariel around, though.” 

“Oh, she was inside one of the nearby stores. It’s a place we know we can trust. Luke and I aren’t her only guards, either. The others were keeping watch at her side while we kept an eye on things from a distance. Uhm, don’t tell anyone else about that, though.” 

Fitz’s words came out smoothly, without a moment’s hesitation. Almost as if it was something he’d rehearsed in advance. 

“I see. Well, I’m sorry for getting in your way while you were working, then.” 

“Oh, that’s okay! I’m sorry, too. I wasn’t trying to be rude or anything.” 

I was starting to get an idea about what was actually going on here. I couldn’t be completely sure, but…it was likely Princess Ariel had somehow taken on Fitz’s appearance as a disguise. There was probably a magic item or implement involved somehow. She hadn’t spoken to me because her voice wasn’t affected by its powers. Maybe the color of her eyes didn’t change, either? That would explain why Fitz always kept his eyes hidden. Otherwise, it would be a dangerous giveaway when Ariel needed to disguise herself as him. 

Yeah. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to fit. The reason “Fitz” had shunned me earlier was simple enough. I was friendly enough with the actual person that I would have seen through her attempt to imitate him. 

Right. I hadn’t done anything to make him angry, after all. Seemed like a good explanation to me. I’d take it. 

“That’s a relief, though. I thought you hated me now, Master Fitz. It got me really worried there for a minute.” 

“Ahaha… Don’t be ridiculous, Rudeus. I couldn’t hate you if I tried…” 

Fitz scratched at the back of his ears in embarrassment. He made that gesture all the time, but lately it got my heart beating faster every time I saw it. Why did such an adorable person have to be a guy, anyway? 

…Assuming he really was. I still wanted to believe otherwise. 

*** 

Fitz had been on my mind a lot lately. 

As always, we only ran into each other once every few days. And it wasn’t like we had that much to talk about when we did. But even so, I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about him. Sometimes I’d catch myself remembering the little gestures he made. The way he scratched his ears. The way he stretched out when he’d finished up some task. At other times, I thought about his scent—the way I’d catch a whiff of it when he walked past me in the hall. Above all else, I thought about his smile. That bashful little grin of his just wouldn’t get out of my head. 

It was no different on the days when I didn’t see him. Whenever I saw a crowd of students, I’d find myself searching it for him. 

In my defense, he was in the middle of a crowd more often than not. Princess Ariel and her retainers were famous in this school. When they went around on student council business, a handful of them often attracted a large crowd of onlookers. And even among that eye-catching group of people, Fitz in particular got a lot of attention. Silent Fitz rarely spoke in public, but he was one the Princess’ most trusted guards, and one of the most skilled mages in the entire University. It wasn’t surprising that people would be interested in him. 

I was one of them at this point. Whenever I did see him, my eyes always seemed to follow him. 

I recognized what all these symptoms meant, of course. I was in love. I’d fallen for a guy. Assuming he really was one, which I wasn’t totally convinced of. 

This seemed like an important question. Depending on his gender, I’d have to come to terms with the fact that I was gay, or possibly bisexual. Not that it really mattered in the short term, given that my “condition” still hadn’t improved. 

I was still kind of hoping he turned out to be a girl, though. 

Once I finally managed to admit my feelings to myself, I set out to gather some information on this subject. 

The easiest and most ethical approach would be to ask the guy himself, but that was going to be my last resort. For all I knew, he might be self-conscious about that charmingly girly face of his. 

I started off by heading to the Teachers’ Building. There were presumably student records on file in the offices here, with the actual truth recorded in them. I expected them to have some policy about protecting the students’ privacy, but maybe I could convince them to help me out just this once. 

After some hunting around, I managed to find the professor in charge of the fourth years, who was serving as Fitz’s advisor. I put the question to him straight. “Can you tell me what Master Fitz’s gender is, Professor?” 

“I can’t give you any information about Fitz.” 

“Are you sure? Couldn’t you bend the rules a little, just this once?” 

The professor cringed slightly as I spoke. Apparently, he found me somewhat terrifying. These days a lot of students went pale every time they saw me, but I’d hardly expected this from a member of the faculty. Maybe I could use this to my advantage. “If you really can’t be flexible, maybe I’ll shoot a nice thick Stone Cannon up your backside and see if that helps…” 

“Eee! Wait, I… I…” 

“Hmm? Maybe you’d prefer a vigorous blast of water instead?” 

“…I-I’m very sorry, but I simply can’t tell you anything!” 

The man proved to be a stubborn nut to crack. It was nice to see the faculty here didn’t give in to threats, at least. “I was only joking, Professor.” 

Giving up on the simple intimidation approach, I headed off to find Jenius instead. If I couldn’t get answers from the guys at the bottom, I’d go straight to the top instead. 

I found our beloved vice-principal in the midst of a spirited battle with a mountain of paperwork. Given the size of this university, there were probably plenty of forms to sign off on in any given day. I felt a bit bad about interrupting him, but it wasn’t like this should take too long. “Hello, Vice Principal Jenius.” 

“Ah. Good day, Rudeus.” 

“You seem fairly busy, I have to say…” 

“Oh, not at all. Thanks to you keeping our problem children under control, my life’s gotten much easier of late.” 

Problem children? Was he talking about Badigadi and Zanoba, maybe…? Not that they were really children in most senses of the word. 

“In any case, what can I do for you today?” 

“Actually, I wanted to ask you for some information about Master Fitz.” 

The Vice Principal’s eyebrows twitched. “I’m terribly sorry, but the people calling the shots gave us some rather strict instructions regarding him and his employer.” 

“Is that so?” I was slightly tempted to tell him that I didn’t give a damn, but something about the exhaustion on his face made me reconsider. The administration had their own problems, clearly. They might have secured themselves crucial support of some kind by accepting the second princess and her retinue. “Could you at least tell me what Fitz’s gender is, though?” 

“His gender…? Hmm…” Jenius offered me one of his famous awkward smiles. These really were his specialty. For about a minute, he thought over my request. A minute could feel like a very long time when you were waiting in total silence, though. 

“Fitz… is a man.” 

In the end, that was the extent of his reply. 

Ultimately, I still wasn’t sure about Fitz’s gender. 

Jenius had backed up the official story, but he was clearly under some pressure, and he’d thought it over for a weirdly long time. It was hard to say if he was truthful with me or not. Of course, he’d automatically used the pronouns “him” and “his” for Fitz before he even heard my question… did that mean he’d told me the truth after all? 

No, there was no point over-analyzing it. I didn’t have the evidence to make up my mind either way. 

Without realizing it, I’d made my way over to the library and to the table where I always worked with Fitz. I sat down and let out a soft little sigh. What was the point of finding out about his gender, anyway? Could I even bring myself to tell him how I felt? Could I tell someone that I had feelings for them? Me, of all people? 

It was good to get these things off your chest, in theory… but the idea felt kind of wrong. I wasn’t approaching this the right way. First off, what did I even want to happen after I confessed? 

That was important. Very important, in fact. 

I couldn’t take things too far with my body in this condition. My crane didn’t want to move, but it wasn’t like I had a shortage of gasoline. My brain was full of dirty, evil thoughts at all times. At some point, I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself. But I wouldn’t be able to do anything when I tried. That just sounded like torture. 

Right. Let’s put aside the pretty words that people always throw around. No more euphemisms about my “feelings.” 

I want to sleep with Fitz. I want to do all sorts of things with him. I want to experiment. I want try a little this, a little that… well, maybe that’s taking things too far… 

“God, I wish I could jerk off, at least…” 

Just as I muttered these words to myself, a hand dropped to my shoulder. I turned and looked upward, and found myself face to face with Fitz. “Jerk what off?” he said, tilting his head curiously to one side. 

“Waaaagh!” I leapt up violently, tangling my feet in the legs of my chair. 

“Whoa! Watch out!” Fitz reached out and grabbed me by the hand, trying to steady me. But he wasn’t strong enough to pull me back. 

“Aaaah!” 

We ended up falling together, still tangled up with the chair, pushing back the table as we went. 

And when we hit the ground… Fitz landed on top of me. I was lying on my back, holding him in my arms. 

Fitz’s face was very close to mine. 

Thanks to those huge sunglasses, I couldn’t fully make out his expression. But I could see the bridge of his nose and his slender lips only inches away. I felt the warmth and weight of his body on top of me. Not that he weighed very much at all. 

A pleasant smell filled my nostrils. It was Fitz’s scent, at a greater intensity than I’d ever experienced it before. I could have spent a whole day savoring it. 

My arms had somehow wrapped themselves around his hips and bottom as we hit the ground. His waist was slender and feminine. His bottom wasn’t exactly plump, but it was soft. The sensation alone had my naughty little guy standing…at attention… 

Holy shit. 

“Ah! S-Sorry, Rudeus!” Flushing bright red, Fitz quickly tried to push himself up and off me. 

“Master Fitz…you really are a girl, aren’t you?” 

He looked at me in shock, then gaped wordlessly for a few seconds before finally managing to shake his head. “N-No! I told you, I’m a man!” 

Jumping up to his feet, he backed away from me for a few paces, then turned around and sprinted for the exit. Fitz had left a number of books behind on the table. Maybe he’d been picking up some reference documents for a class, like on the day of our first meeting here. 

But there was something even more important on my mind right now. 

“I got a boner…” 

After three long years of silent slumber, my little corporal was finally saluting the flag once again. After all that frustration and disappointment, just touching Fitz had gotten me aroused. 

Gingerly, I reached down with one hand to make sure I wasn’t just hallucinating. “…Wow. It’s not a dream, is it?” 

In this moment, I finally understood the meaning of the Man-God’s advice. This was why he’d told me to poke around the library. 

That said…I’d known from the very start that Fitz was hiding things from me. Whatever his gender, if he was concealing anything, it had to be for a good reason. I didn’t want to blow his cover with my theories and my blundering. 

I was in love with Fitz. Fitz wanted to be known as a man. Would it be fair to prioritize my feelings under those circumstances? Or my desires, for that matter? 

Obviously not. 

I had no right to expose his secrets, whether or not they included his gender. If anything, I had a responsibility to respect his wishes and help him conceal whatever he wanted. That felt like the only safe approach, actually. Much as I was tempted to sneak up and whisper, I’ll keep my mouth shut, so come over to my room tonight . 

Damn. Now I was imagining Fitz slowly taking off all those bulky layers one by one as I leered from the shadows. No, no. Nooo! Bad thoughts! Very bad thoughts! 

He’d… or she’d… They’d helped me out so many times, in so many ways. It would be truly unforgivable to betray him like that. I’d just have to treat him the same way I did before. And if he ever seemed in danger of being exposed, I’d quietly step in to help out. He’d done the same for me on my first day at this school, after all, even though it had probably been a risky move for him. 

“Wait a second, though. If Fitz is really a woman…” 

At this point, my mind went off on something of a tangent, and a few memories flashed vividly through my head. 

I was suddenly recalling all the dirty jokes I’d made in front of Fitz in the past. My one-liner at the slave market, the stuff I said when I captured Linia and Pursena… oh god, and that thing I made him say when he brought me my staff! 

I writhed in agony for a while. 

Once I’d finished up with this delightful trip down memory lane, I found that my little soldier had resumed his lifestyle as a shut-in. No matter how I urged him, he stubbornly refused to emerge. I guess he was less obnoxious about it than the old me, at least, since he didn’t start pounding on the floor when I pestered him. 

I’d really wanted to give the little twerp a proper jerking for the first time in years… but apparently, I was still far from being totally cured. 

Oh well. At least I had reason to be hopeful now. No point rushing things. For the time being, I headed back to my room to try and fix that wonderful sensation in my memory. 

*** 

The next morning, it took a serious effort to pull my sluggish body into a sitting position. I’d been so preoccupied with my partner’s brief recovery that I hadn’t managed to get much sleep. The little guy in question was still pretending nothing had happened, sadly. 

My mind was filled with thoughts and images of Fitz, but I didn’t get so much as a twitch of a reaction from that traitor downstairs. When was he going to stop sulking and help me blow off some of the steam that was building up inside me? Maybe memories just weren’t enough to please him? 

I still didn’t know exactly what had set him off, but something about Master Fitz was clearly the key to curing my condition. The Man-God was right on the money all along. I hadn’t realized it for months, but the medicine I needed had been close at hand all along. 

Still, when I slowed down to think about this rationally, one major problem still remained. How was I going to get myself a prescription? 

I didn’t want to do anything that would make Fitz uncomfortable or angry. Curing my condition was important, but so was keeping Fitz’s trust. If I’d thought Fitz was a girl six months earlier, I might have courted her more aggressively, but at this point, I had genuine feelings for him. I didn’t want to repeat the mistake I’d made with Eris and get physical too early. I didn’t want Fitz to walk out of my life without a word. 

Hah. So now I was the guy who was counting on the crossdressing bodyguard of a princess to cure his impotence, huh? Sounded like an amusing concept for a show. If you’re enjoying this, Man-God, how about throwing me a tip? 

With a sardonic little smile, I rolled out of the bunk bed which I still had to myself and stretched. I couldn’t suppress a loud, long yawn; this was definitely going to be a long day. 

I walked over to the empty bucket I’d left in one corner of the room and filled it up with warm water. The face that stared up at me from inside it was relatively handsome. I’d inherited a mixture of Paul’s bad-boy womanizer look and my mother’s softer features. By the standards of my old world, at least, the result wasn’t bad, although it wasn’t what people in this one thought of as perfect. No matter how many times I looked at this face, I couldn’t think of it as mine, but I’d gotten used to that by now. It was a better one than what I had last time, and that was good enough for me. 

Did it appeal to Fitz at all, though? That was the important thing. 

Okay, stop. There’s no point even thinking about this. Fitz was a man, and I wasn’t going to do anything to him. That was my official stance for now. 

As I began to wash my face, I noticed a hint of something on my chin. When I tugged on it, my skin stretched out a little with it. It was a whisker. A single soft, downy whisker. 

“Guess I’m getting to that age now, huh…” 

Humans didn’t age too differently in this world, from all appearances. My dad wasn’t a hairy guy, so it had taken a while for me to develop anything on my face, but I had hair growing in the other places you’d expect by now. 

I wasn’t sure how that worked for people from the other races, like Fitz. Were elves different somehow? Did he have hair down there yet? 

Hm…? 

Something about that thought nagged at me, for some reason. I felt like I was on the verge of remembering something, but it just wasn’t coming to me. 

“Ah, whatever.” With a shrug, I shaved off the stray hair on my chin. 

Two days passed without any progress whatsoever. 

I had no contact with Fitz at all in that time. I wasn’t going to risk doing anything suspicious, like trying to track him down. Nothing to see here, officer. Everything was the same as always. 

On the third morning after the incident, however, I found Luke waiting for me in the hallway of the boys’ dormitory. I didn’t panic. I’d been expecting something like this to happen eventually. “Hello there, Master Luke,” I said as brightly as possible. “What are you doing here at this hour?” 

Luke didn’t seem too chipper himself. Something about the way he looked at me suggested he wasn’t in the best of moods. “I need to speak to you regarding Fitz.” 

As expected. But I had my response to this line of questioning worked out in advance. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Oh? Is that a fact?” Luke’s tone was challenging. Was he looking for more information on what had taken place the other day? They might be hoping they could still hide the truth from me if they pushed the issue hard enough. And I was fine with letting things go in that direction, of course. 

Still, was it really that much of an issue if I knew Fitz’s secret? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was technically a Greyrat. I’d cut my ties with the Boreas family at this point, but I didn’t know what they thought of Paul. Whatever the case might be, it seemed like a good idea to express my intentions very clearly now that I had the chance. 

“Just to reiterate, Luke… I have no intention of making enemies of you people. And I don’t know anything about Fitz, or any secrets he might be hiding.” 

“…You’re willing to pretend not to know anything? Why?” 

“Well, I’m not connected to the Boreas or the Notos families at this point. And more importantly, it would be a little scary to get on Princess Ariel’s bad side.” 

A look of pure surprise flashed across Luke’s handsome face, and he fell silent. Had I said something dangerous? Maybe it would have been smarter to keep up the pretense that I literally didn’t know a thing. “Anyway, that’s all I’ve got to say.” 

“Right. Sorry to have bothered you…” 

With this final exchange, I walked off and left Luke standing in the hallway. 

After finishing up my classes that same day, I headed over to Nanahoshi’s rooms for our regularly scheduled experiments. For some reason, though, I found Fitz standing just outside. 

As I recalled, he wasn’t supposed to come help me out again for a few more days, until he had a break from her duties as the Princess’ bodyguard. I was fairly sure of that. But he’d showed up anyway, and there was presumably a reason for that. And presumably, it had something to do with certain recent events. Fitz and Ariel had no reason to take me at my word. If anything, they had plenty of good reasons to distrust me. 

In other words, Fitz was probably here to keep an eye on me. Maybe he wanted to confirm if I really meant what I’d said to Luke. 

I’d been silent for a while, and Fitz’s face was visibly tense. After a few minutes of this, Nanahoshi muttered, “What is this? Did you two have a fight or something?” while drawing up a new magic circle. 

“N-No! We didn’t have a fight or anything!” 

Fitz’s response was hilariously awkward. He really was adorable when he got flustered. Still, it was obvious that he still doubted me. How were you supposed to earn someone’s trust in a situation like this, anyway? 

Maybe I would’ve been better off just bending the knee and offering tribute to Ariel. All I could really think of was to buy him a nice box of pastries or something…but given how cautious they were about me right now, that might backfire badly. 

“Look, I don’t really care either way,” said Nanahoshi, her voice distinctly irritated. “Just don’t drag me into your nonsense.” 

The girl had a strict policy of avoiding trouble as long as she was stuck in this world. Fitz was deeply involved with Asuran royalty, and Nanahoshi clearly didn’t want to get mixed up in any conflict between the two of us. Of course, if she went around talking that rudely to people, she’d probably make some trouble of her own eventually. But I was basically the only person she interacted with right now, so maybe it wasn’t that big a deal. 

Well, whatever. If she didn’t want to get involved in this world, that was her call. I didn’t really have any right to an opinion on the matter. I felt like it wouldn’t hurt for her to try and be a little more outgoing…but she was currently spending every single day frantically drawing up hundreds of magic circles. It was hard to suggest that she set aside some energy for socializing. 

“…Tch.” 

Normally, I carried out these experiments while chatting idly with Fitz or Nanahoshi, but today we were all silent. The only sound was the occasional click of the tongue from Nanahoshi. The atmosphere was strained, to say the least. 

“…Okay, that’s it. We’re done for now.” 

After a few hours of this, Nanahoshi called it a day, her voice low and tired. Once again, we’d made no real progress. 

As we made our way back toward the dorms, Fitz and I still couldn’t seem to start a conversation. I wanted to talk about something. I wanted to act like I normally did. But what was I supposed to say? 

Before I could hit on anything, we reached the fork in the road that led to the girls’ dorms. 

“Hey, Rudeus…” Fitz walked a few steps ahead, then spoke to me in an oddly tense tone. 

“Yes? What is it?” 

He clenched his hand to his chest. He was obviously going to say something important. Maybe something about his gender. I braced myself as best I could. 

“…Sorry. It’s nothing, actually. Bye.” 

“Okay then. See you…” 

Fitz looked at the ground as he turned and quickly trotted off toward his dorm. Exhaling softly, I watched him go with an unpleasant hazy feeling in my chest. I’d decided not to cause him any trouble if I could possibly avoid it, but…to be honest, this was a little hard to take.