Mushoku Tensei (WN) - Volume 11 - Chapter 107

Mushoku Tensei:Web Chapter 107 Preview - Baka-Tsuki 
--- Norn's Perspective --- 

When was it that I started thinking that brother is frightening, I didn't think like that initially. 
At our first meeting, brother punched father, I love father, though he has so many helpless parts to him, I knew he was putting all his love toward me. 
Even if it was not like that, a five year old kid will believe in his parents without a shard of doubt. 
Brother beat that father. Coming out of nowhere and beating my dad, at that time I didn’t understand what they were talking about. 
Though now I understand that brother passed through a harsh land to meet with dad, dad made fun of him and they got into a fight. 
But it had nothing to do with the me at that time, all I knew was brother hit father. 
When I saw him mounting father and beating him numerous times, I thought he was going to kill father. 
And that was the one and only truth for me at that time, how was I supposed to recognize such a person as my family. 
I didn't feel fear, I just came to hate him. 

That hatred was long-lasting, everyone was praising my brother. 
It was a given for Dad to praise him, but my sister and the maid were full of praises for him, the more they praised him, the more the biased part of me had grown. 
Just like I did with my brother I came to hate my little sister, she was competing with me at everything in the school we attended. 
Be it studying or sports, she was superior to me to the point that it became condescending. 
Just being with her was enough for me to feel inferior, I thought we would never get along. 
From inferiority complex I started bullying my little sister, the only one who thought it was a good thing was my grandmother. 
She despised my little sister who was not related to her by blood, and held excessive expectations for me. 
No, maybe she didn't have any expectations, but she said this: 
"As a lady of Latreia family, own a power so as not to be ashamed." 
So I was forced to study confusing rituals and etiquette. 
I wasn't able to do these things very well, and made mistakes so I got scolded. That time my Grandma said: 
"Surrendering her body to an adventurer will make the blood dirty as well." 
When I heard that I soon figured she was talking about my mother and father. 
My grandmother despised my father from the bottom of her heart, so I came to hate my grandma as well. 

Because of that, when brother's teacher came and informed us of mother's whereabouts, I decided to go with daddy instead of staying at grandma's house. 
So my father was hesitant whether to leave me with my grandma or not. My mother was from Milis Kingdom, a noble, and father had the blood of Asura Kingdom's nobles. 
There was no problem regarding the lineage, so it seems my grandfather planned to adopt me into his family. 
But I hated it, so I begged my father, cried and begged him to take me with him. 
Yet, despite all that, father decided to send me to my brother, saying from here on out the travel would be dangerous, so I should go to my brother who is in the north, and after they found mother they would definitely come after me. 
I cried, I said that I don't want to go, that I wanted to go to mommy with him. It was unthinkable for me to leave father. 
If Ruijerd at that time didn't come, I would probably have gone with father to Begaritto Continent, and would get sick, and have made trouble for him. 
Ruijerd-san, I remember him very well, the first time I met him was the day I first saw brother. 
He stretched his hand to me who was falling down, and he pat my head with his kind hand, gave me an apple as well. 

I didn't know his name back then, even after hearing he was brother’s bodyguard I didn't hear his name. 
That time he just kindly pat my head without saying anything. 
And I never went to brother's place back then. 
When we embarked on the road, my sister was so energetic. 
She took off her mask, which she would not take off in front of father and mother, and playing the role of leader, made some reckless planning. 

I wanted to say that getting so worked up is stupid, there were two adults there so it was meaningless, but to my surprise Ginger-san and Ruijerd-san listened to her. 
I thought it was unfair, she could get her way, but I couldn't go along with father no matter what. 
But since Ruijerd-san cared about me, I could tolerate it, he was always watching over me. 
But even he was praising brother saying, he is a great man, I am looking forward to meeting him. And he would laugh, he usually didn't laugh at all. 
I started thinking the brother I know, and the brother they knew were two different people, ah, I think it was from then that I thought brother was frightening. 

My brother is strong, he is a man worthy of respect, but the brother I know is the one who beat father. 
Maybe, I wondered, maybe he will beat me as well, if I say something annoying he might beat me as well, I got scared of meeting him. 
I was uneasy, thinking that I would have to live with such a brother for many months, I was so uneasy that I would wake up at nights. 
Each time, Ruijerd-san comforted me, putting me on his lap and showing me the starry sky, he would tell me stories from the past. 
He put me on his lap while looking up at the night sky, and did a folk tale. 
There were a lot of sad stories as well, but for whatever reason I could fall sleep comfortably. 
When I met brother for the first time after so long, he was drunk and a woman was beside him. 
She's his childhood friend from Buina village, and they are married, though I don't remember her at all. 
But I vaguely remember someone who was stuck to my litter sister and her mother. 
I think of her as such a person, I can't remember her any better than this. Maybe something was different I am not sure. 
My brother was happy. 
Seeing him like that made anger well up within me. 
Father didn't touch any woman, he said it’s postponed till he finds my mom, he didn’t play around with my little sister’s mother or any of the other women around him. 
Yet, brother was different, I got angry, but I couldn’t say anything. I was scared. 
I thought if I said something brother would hit me, I wonder if brother hit me Ruijerd-san would get angry, he is looking so happy now. 
It’s possible he would get angry at me saying I am being selfish, so I stayed silent. 

The next day, Ruijerd-san went off, I thought he would always stay with me and wouldn’t go away, but he was gone. 
I became even more scared, in this house there are only my brother, sister and brother’s wife. Brother’s wife is a kind person but I have no allies in this house. 
From now until father comes, I shall be living in fear, my sister will be pampered by brother but I won't be pampered for sure. 
My sister gets to do whatever she wants, but I am told to put in more effort, she says that I am like this because I am not even trying. 
But I can’t do what I can’t do, no matter how much effort I put in and how much I train I won't be able to catch up to her, what should I do? 
So as not be scolded and not get yelled at, I try to not be in the way, and live like I don’t exist, cause I am afraid of being thrown out in the winter. 

I go to school by brother’s decision, it’s different from the one I attended in Milis and seems to be special in some ways. 
Not only different ages but also different races are studying in the same grade together, to be honest I didn’t want to go. At the end he is going to compare me to my little sister. 
However it seems that my sister has no intention of attending school, which is a good thing for me, with her out of the way I can try hard as well, is what I thought. 
But brother gave my sister a condition, she had to take an exam, to attend the school there is a need to take an exam, I was in despair. 
There is no way I would pass the exam, I said that to brother and he answered he would sort it out with money. To that irresponsible answer I got angry and yelled. My little sister and I got into fight over my behavior. 
"Stop it." 
I heard a cold and penetrating voice, it was brother, I got scared, I thought I would be living like this from now on always scared, I was about to start crying. 

Day of the exam, I asked brother about the dormitory. It seems there is a place for those who are studying here away from their families, I thought this was my salvation. 
I am sure my sister would pass the exam and won't attend school, and if I enroll and live in the dormitory I can live without having to face brother. I’ll be living freely without being compared to my sister. 
After a few days, the result came in, brother asked me “what do you want to do?” and I said gingerly “I want to try the dormitory.” 
I thought he might get angry, since father told him to have us live with him, and I expected him to do as he was told. I was scared he might get angry at me for being selfish and hit me. 
But, brother gave his permission surprisingly easy, the one getting angry was my sister, saying it was unfair. Since she always got the preferential treatment, now she was angry that only she was tested via examination. 
But why did brother allow it, I don’t know, I don’t understand him at all, come to think of it, except the time me and my sister fought he hasn’t gotten angry at all. 
...Possibly, maybe brother has no interest in me, maybe he thinks of me as annoying, and even if I didn’t pass the exam I would end up in the dormitory at the end. 
When I think like that, for whatever reason I feel sad, though it’s very convenient for me. 
Everything about dormitory life was new to me, first of all was my roommate, Melisa-senpai from the Demon race. 
My grandmother taught me that Demons are bad and should be shunned and executed. 
If I had not met Ruijerd-san, I would probably still think that way, so I was able to politely introduce myself to Melisa-senpai. 
Melisa-senpai welcomed me warmly, and even though I transferred in the middle of the term she helped me a lot. 
How to get food, how to use the toilet and the dormitory’s rules were all taught to me by Melisa-senpai. 
I was told that all of us who live in dorm are family by the dorm leader. 
She is a girl from a scary looking race, but she has a strong sense of responsibility. 
My heart was dancing, thinking about my life at dorm. Showing my face at brother’s house once every 10 days is troublesome, but since he won't be meddling with my school life, I'm happy. 

My life at dormitory began. 
The lessons were hard, I think that’s because it’s different from the way I was taught at the school I attended in Milis. If I had started from the start of the term it might have been easier, but since I started mid-term there were a lot of things I didn’t understand. 

Here unlike Milis which had classes on Religion there are classes on magic, but since I started in the middle I am not good at it. 
Since I thought that if my grades are low I’ll be taken back home, I even studied at the dorm. 
But the parts I didn’t understand Melisa-senpai helped me with kindly. 
For the first time I understood what I couldn’t before, though if it was my little sister she would understand it the first time. When I think about our difference in ability I feel frustrated. 
The school is so big that I was lost a few times. 
Especially for the classes like sports and practical magic training which were not in Milis’ school curriculum. I couldn’t find the classroom. 
In those times, either a classmate would come looking for me or a senpai or teacher I didn’t know would help me find the classroom. 
I only saw brother once, and that being time with him who is the strongest person in this school was embarrassing. My brother is feared in the school. 
Having six underlings, he is doing whatever he likes in the school. From those six, two of them act haughty in the dorm as well, which Melisa-senpai said it’s better not to disobey them. 
It seems my brother is using those two to gather underwear from all of the cute girls in the school. 
I wonder whether his wife knows about this or not. 
While daddy is going through so much trouble like that, brother is gathering underwear and playing around. 
Anger wells up within me, I look at him with contempt. 

However, even knowing what he is doing, unexpectedly, Brother’s reputation is good. 
He is not violent toward regular students and he does not seem to be doing whatever he likes, he isn’t causing anyone trouble at all. 
On the contrary, it seems like he won't allow anyone to bully the weak, the scary child from my class is bragging pridefully talking about brother. 
He is better than anyone else in magic and his teaching method is easy to understand, he seems to be teaching someone even younger than me. 
Classmates, Melisa-senpai and even teachers are telling me to become like my brother, I have no idea what they are thinking about. 
I don’t want to be like the brother that I fear, hate and look at with contempt. 
The most frustrating thing is that I am lower than such a person. 
The person who I hate and contempt so much just like my sister, no matter how hard I try I will not be able to catch up to. 

One day I came back to the dorm and laid down on the bed. All my emotions were going berserk, frustration, sadness, helplessness, anger, all of them overflowed through tears. 
After a while, Melisa-senpai came back and seeing me crying asked what happened kindly. 
I said it's nothing, rejecting her and drawing the blanket over my head. 
I wonder what should I do, is my attitude toward brother wrong? 
...It seems, brother isn’t like the image I made from him hitting dad, I was small back then. 
And after that incident no matter how many times father said ‘your brother had it rough as well’ I didn’t understand. 
But now, even if it’s just a bit, I understand how he felt, since I am having it rough now as well. 
Working hard, and putting all my effort in doing my best, and then being told ‘was it fun playing around without a care?’ even I would be mad. 
Even if the one saying it is daddy I might have a fight with him. 
But be as it may, with what face am I suppose to meet brother, what does he expect me to do, how did father and brother make up? 

Think, think, my stomach went sore, my chest tightened going Kyun Kyun, I have nausea as well. 

I spent my time curled in the bed, doing nothing, not being able to think of a way to face brother. 
The one who would help me in these situations was always father, whenever I would feel this way and go to bed he would crawl into bed and pat my head kindly. 
When I separated from dad it was Ruijerd-san who comforted me, putting me on his lap and patting me with his big kind hands and talking to me about everything. 
Since I came here there was no one, Melisa-senpai took care of me but she is not my ally. 
She would say, go see your brother, or come attend the class, stuff like that I know myself, but my body won't move. 
I wonder how many days has it been since I started worrying, thinking, getting tired, sleeping, repeating that cycle, I think its been a few days. 
I was sitting at the edge of the bed, when I come to myself brother is in front of me. 
He was sitting in the chair while his elbows are on the backrest, staring at me. 
“Norn.” “Nii-san.” 
For the first time I called brother, Nii-san, he seems to be real, I wonder why is he here, it’s the girls dormitory. 
I was confused, he stared at the confused me, for a while I looked at him as well. 
It is the first time I am looking directly at brother's face, it’s an anxious face. It kind of reminds me of father’s face, it’s a face that makes me comfortable, well of course it looks like father's, they are parent and child after all. 
"Norn, I am sorry, you, since you arrived here it’s been painful for you, right?" 
Brother said like he was whispering. 
“You know, I don't really understand you, and when it became something like this, I was worrying about what to do…” 

Brother said those things with an anxious expression. That figure was just like dad’s. 
"......" 
Then, brother didn’t move from there, he was looking at me anxiously but no matter what he did he did not leave the chair. 
If it was dad he would hug me just like that and if it was Ruijerd-san he would be patting my head. 
But, brother does not come close. 
"......Ahh." 
For some reason I understood, he can’t come close, he is scared of being rejected by me. 
When I thought like that for some reason all the disgusting feelings in me vanished, I didn’t feel hatred or scared anymore, I was relaxed. Brother is just like dad, he would never hit me, I am sure he would never hit dad again either. 
"Ugh......" 
I shall forgive brother. 
"...hiku..." 
Before I know it, tears were falling down like a river, my throat was trembling and a sobbing sound leaked out. 
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Nii-san......" 
Brother came and sat beside me gingerly, and putting his hand on my head pulled me to his chest. 
His hand was warm, his chest was wide and hard, and he smelled like father. 
That day I cried in brother's chest for a whole day. 

--- Rudeus' Perspective --- 

In the end I couldn’t do anything, she wouldn’t tell me anything. 
I didn’t know what happened to her or what was in her heart, she wasn’t showing me her true self. 

Norn was just crying, and after she finished crying said ‘I am fine now’, almost whispering. 
Her face was refreshed and while she looked at me, she looked straight in my eyes, seeing that I was relived, I thought that it was fine now. 
So I left the rest of it to Sylphy and left the room. 
The next day, Norn became bright again, as to what changed, it was on the level of seeing me in the hallway and saying ‘Good morning Nii-san’. 
There is not much of a conversation nor is she clinging to me. 
If you ask me I’d say the situation hasn’t changed a bit from before, but Norn wasn't worried anymore. 
I could not understand her. 
I could not say nor do anything. 
It’s disappointing, I was supposed to understand the feelings of hikikomori people, but when it comes to the real thing, the situation is like this. 
Probably, it’s possible that Norn managed to sort out her feelings, sorting them out and overcoming this situation on her own. 
She is an admirable kid, Paul and Aisha may think that Norn is a bad kid, but I don’t agree with them. 
At least she did what I could not do my whole life, in my world. 
If in my past life I could have sorted my feelings just like Norn, I wonder what might have changed. 
Would it have been possible to avoid the future where my kind brother beat the crap out of me? 

I do not know. 
I do not know about the past, but Norn and my situations are different. 
I am not sure even sorting out my feelings would have changed anything, If I hadn't been reincarnated in a good world, and hadn't met with Roxy, I would probably still be a hikikomori. 
Well, anyway, I can’t go back now, the past cannot be changed, a twisted family cannot be fixed. The true intention of my brother will be lost in the dark forever... 

...However I think the bone in my throat has been pulled out. 
If Nanahoshi finally gets to go back to our world, I’ll ask her to pass on a message to my brother. Thank you for worrying for me back then and thank you.