My Stepsister is My Ex-Girlfriend - Volume 4 - Chapter 5.1

The Ex-Couple Visits Family (3)

First Love’s Scar

Falling in love for the first time in middle school is apparently late by most people’s standards. It’s normal to hear about someone’s first love being their kindergarten teacher, a classmate in elementary school, or someone who becomes family before they know it.

Getting to middle school without a crush or two is super rare, and even rarer is someone actually going out with their first love. It gets even more obscure with people who went as long as high school without even knowing what love was. Those people are extreme cases, though.

It’s normal to have a crush before adolescence. Therefore, it only made sense that Mizuto Irido had fallen in love with someone before he’d met me. I knew how petty I was being. He had no obligation, morally or logically, to cater to me. Whomever he fell in love with first had nothing to do with me.

But even so... I had always dreamt that I was his first love and he was mine during our honeymoon period. I’d wanted to believe that even though we’d broken up, he’d always remember me as his first love. I didn’t want to relinquish that spot to anyone.

I knew how cringey this was. I was annoying, clingy, weak, and a total pain in the ass. I couldn’t believe that there was a guy out there who’d fallen for me.

“Ugh...” I groaned as I hid behind the thin sliding door. I trembled while lamenting how pathetic I was.

On the other side of the door, sitting in the back of the dim, dusty study was my little stepbrother and ex, Mizuto Irido, surrounded by a mountain of books that looked like they could bury him at any second.

The situation wasn’t all that complicated. Mineaki-ojisan had asked me to call Mizuto because he needed a hand. All I had to do was tell Mizuto that his dad wanted his help. That’s it. Even so, I’d been cowering here for longer than I’d like to admit. Peeking inside, I saw that he had his nose burrowed deep in a book and hadn’t noticed me whatsoever.

I both wished that he would and wouldn’t notice me already. My head was a mess. My poor communication skills were once again rearing their ugly heads. Back in middle school, it took me tens of minutes of mental preparation before I could talk to anyone—and I could never work up the courage to go into the staff room. I was sure that I’d overcome this after going through the very efficient training that was a relationship.

But I was still a shy girl at my core. Try as I may, I couldn’t change completely. That being said, I was proud of the fact that I’d been able to expand my communication abilities. But...where were they now?

I knew the reason I was acting like this. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, what he’d said yesterday as we were walking back had hit me harder than I’d expected. “Someone who laughed a lot,” he’d said nostalgically. I couldn’t help but wonder who he was thinking of when he said that. Not that I needed to ask. I already had a good idea from when I first met her. His first love was—

“Hm? Whatcha doin’, Yume-chan?”

I jumped a little and turned around. Standing there was Madoka-san, curiously looking at me through her red-framed glasses. She really was beautiful, especially in her pure white dress... It’s amazing that even at twenty, an outfit like this suits her perfectly. No, that’s not what I need to think about right now! I need an excuse for why I’m creeping on him.

“Oh, uh, well... I just, uh... I spaced out.” That was the best excuse I could come up with. It seemed that my poor social skills had begun to affect my quick wit. I could feel my brain rotting.

“You okay? You gotta be careful. There’s a lot of rooms without AC units in ’em,” she said, fanning herself with her hand. There were droplets of sweat around her neck. That’s kinda sexy...

“Hm... Oh, good.” Madoka-san moved past me, poked her head into the room, and effortlessly called out to Mizuto. “Mizuto-kun, your dad’s callin’ for ya.” She managed what I’d anguished over for ten minutes in a matter of seconds.

“Mm.” Mizuto let out a short, one-syllable response before shutting his book and looking up. “Hm?” He then noticed me next to her.

“How long have you been there?”

“I-It doesn’t matter.” I felt so embarrassed that I responded defensively on reflex.

Mizuto must have thought that it was just me being me. He didn’t seem surprised in the slightest. “Did you need something?” he asked.

I did need something, but...now I don’t. “N-No!” I said before quickly walking away. No, I ran away—from both Mizuto and Madoka-san.

Nothing had changed between us. Mizuto and I were still stepsiblings who had once dated. But he had a past I didn’t know about. That should’ve been so obvious, but I’d only realized it just now. What did that matter though? Even if Mizuto used to have a thing for Madoka-san—if he used to have a thing for anyone else—it had absolutely nothing to do with me.

“Oh.”

“Ah...” Chikuma’s eyes widened behind his long bangs.

After fleeing the study, I’d wandered around the house and found myself in a spacious Japanese-style room. Hiding in the corner was Chikuma-kun, who’d been playing on his portable game console.

Sitting at the table not too far from him were Chikuma-kun’s dad and some other older relatives, all engaged in conversation. Chikuma-kun was left by himself, but it wasn’t like he could participate in their discussion. He was most likely keeping his distance because of that. Chikuma-kun was shy, but he wasn’t a loner by choice like Mizuto, nor was he a free spirit like Higashira-san. I felt a sort of kinship with him and sat near him.

“Are you okay? The AC’s not too strong?”

“I-I’m okay...” he practically whispered before hiding his face behind his game console.

Oh, my. I’ve made him nervous. He had a tendency to go red and look away from me whenever I talked to him. Hm... Maybe I should try speaking to him from a closer distance in order to make him feel more comfortable. This knowledge came from a book that I’d once read. With that in mind, I sat next to him. He jumped a little, but fortunately didn’t try to move away from me. Yay!

“Is your hobby playing video games?” I asked.

“Not really...”

“I like reading books in my free time. Are there any books you like reading?”

“Do strategy guides count?”

“What are those?”

“They tell you how to beat games and have all sorts of data...”

“Are they fun to read?”

“Kinda...”

“I see...”

The conversation ended. What do I do now? What can I talk about with an elementary schooler? We were different ages and genders, so nothing immediately came to mind. Though I’d improved my conversation skills, I wasn’t like a barber who could effortlessly go from topic to topic. I need something we both can talk about... Something we both have in common.

“Uh... Any girls you like?”

I couldn’t believe that I’d just asked the kind of question a relative you hadn’t seen in a while would. The idea was to stick with a simple question, but still...I didn’t really see him being interested enough to respond.

“Huh?!” he practically yelped. His face tore away from his game. “L-Like...?”

“Hm? Yeah. Any girls you like? At school, maybe?”

“S-School...” His tone of voice obviously lowered as did his gaze. “Nobody at school...” he said, his eyes back on his game.

“Oh, I see. Well, are there any cute girls?”

“I... I don’t know. I don’t remember what they look like...”

“Oh, I totally get you. When you’re shy, you don’t really look at people’s faces.”

Chikuma-kun nodded excitedly in agreement. Here it is! The thing we have in common!

“When you forget your chopsticks, it’s hard to go up to the teacher and ask to borrow them.”

He nodded.

“When you’re out on a school hike, you end up focusing on the scenery, because it’s too hard to talk to others.”

He nodded.

“And when you have to pair up in gym class, you already know that you don’t have a partner, so you have to look for people left over, but you can never bring yourself to ask them if they want to pair up, so you wait for them to ask you instead...”

He vigorously nodded. It was obvious he really vibed with what I was saying. If his reaction wasn’t enough, the glint in his eye made it clear. He’d found someone who understood him. Madoka-san’s appearance may have made it seem like she was one of us, but in reality, she was a bona fide socialite. She could never understand what it was like for us.

“School can be tough when you’re shy...”

“Yeah...”

“If you ever need any advice, let me know. Do you have a phone?”

Chikuma-kun frantically dug around his pockets and pulled out a brand-new phone. Wow, what a modern kid.

“You probably don’t know how to add people on LINE. Here, let me show you.”

Chikuma-kun happily nodded and gave me his phone. I probably didn’t need to talk about the loner experience, but it looked like it had cheered him up. I used to be just like him. When we started going out, Mizuto was able to guess a lot about what I was thinking without me saying anything.

This was probably the first time that I’d approached someone myself. My past self never would’ve thought that I’d be able to do this, nor that it would be with a boy. Even when I had confessed to Mizuto, I’d...

“And there you go. All done. You know what to do now?” I gave Chikuma-kun his phone back while trying to brush off all the thoughts in my head.

Chikuma-kun held the phone against his chest. “C-Can I... Is it okay for me to message you?” he asked in a soft but very clear voice.

“Can you?” I giggled.

“Uh...”

“Aha ha ha. I’m bad at messaging people first too.”

Chikuma-kun shrank his shoulders. Ah, he’s so cute. If only a certain unsociable guy could be more like him.

“Sorry to interrupt your pleasant chat,” someone interrupted in a thorny voice, casting a shadow on us. I looked up, and Mizuto was looking down at me with cold eyes. “You two sure have gotten close.”

“What? Is there a problem with that?” I asked, tensing up, and reflexively copying his thorny tone.

“Nope. Just remarking on how your attitude sure is different with kids.”

“Huh? No it’s not.”

“Whatever. If you don’t see it, then that’s fine.”

What? What’s his problem? If you’ve got something to say, then spit it out! He was always like this—acting like he knew everything.

“So, what do you want? Here to annoy me?”

“I don’t want anything, per se...” He trailed off before snorting and continuing. “Madoka-san asked me to check on things. That’s it.”

Something snapped inside of me from hearing that. “I bet you’d jump off a cliff if Madoka-san asked you to.”

“Huh?”

You never do what I ask. You just get pissed at me! He had never once obediently done as I asked him. So why... Why was he so obedient when it came to Madoka-san?

“If you don’t need anything, then move along.” I did my best to hold back from sounding angry. “Why don’t you spend time with your beloved Madoka-san instead of bothering yourself with me?”

He stared at me for a little before shortly exhaling. It was almost as if he was saying he was done with me.

“Bye.” He turned around and left.

All I could do was stare at my knees. Then I noticed the sound of soft breathing and remembered Chikuma-kun next to me. He seemed a little shaken as he cautiously looked up at me.

“O-Oh, s-sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” I quickly smiled. God, what am I doing in front of a kid? “We weren’t fighting or anything. This is just how we always are. Seriously.” Spouting this excuse kind of calmed me down. Right. This is how we always are. “So don’t tell your mom or dad, okay? It’ll be our little secret.” I put my index finger to my mouth.

Chikuma-kun nodded. For some reason, after that, Chikuma-kun would avert his gaze whenever we made eye contact, and he’d cover his ears with his hands.

“Greetings, Yume-san.” Hearing Higashira-san’s voice over the phone filled me with relief.

“Sorry for calling out of the blue. Is now okay for you, Higashira-san?”

“Yes... Mm! I’m fine... Mmf!”

“Are you, uh, sure?”

She was making very strange sounds and it was as if her voice was both close and far from the phone.

“Yes, I’m fine... Phew. I’m simply working out.”

“Working out? I never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth.”

“My mother said, ‘Even though you’re on vacation, it’s no excuse for you to slack off. If you don’t put in work, your chest’s going to sag. Your rack is the only thing you have going for you, so you better do something about it. If you don’t...no dinner for you.’”

“I’ve been wondering, but...your mom’s kind of intense, isn’t she?”

I couldn’t imagine that there was a parent out there who would really tell their daughter that her breasts were the only thing going for her. She didn’t sound real.

Higashira-san exhaled. “I was able to do five whole push-ups! I’m done for the day!”

“Even I can do more than that...”

She ignored my comment and moved on. “So, what would you like to speak to me about, Yume-san?”

I looked up at the summer night sky from the veranda, taking my time to carefully pick my words.

“Well, I wanted to check in to see how you’re doing after the whole swimsuit incident yesterday.”

“I do not wish to remember that.”

“You’re usually so bold in front of him. I’m surprised that this bothers you so much.”

“Of course it does! It’s embarrassing! My name was written on it in large letters! It makes me seem very childish!”

“Wait, that’s your issue with this?”

“Huh? What else is there to be bothered by?”

Are you serious right now? She wasn’t worried about her breasts spilling out? Or how the swimsuit was digging into her skin, especially around her nether regions?

“I bet you wouldn’t care if he saw you naked. Although, I guess you were embarrassed when he saw your panties.”

“Uh, no. I would absolutely be embarrassed if he saw me naked.”

“Oh, really?”

“I’ve never even entered the hot springs with others during school field trips.”

“You’re embarrassed about being naked around girls too, huh?”

“Yes, quite.”

So she’s just embarrassed in general. It has nothing to do with Mizuto or him being a guy.

“If it was a bath with you, though,” she continued. “I might consider it... You’re very slender, but also blessed in certain areas. You have the figure of a model... Geh heh heh.”

“Um, you’re grossing me out a little, Higashira-san.”

“Oh, my apologies.”

“I’m really not that attractive...” I could feel a darkness creeping into my heart. “I’m only thin because I don’t have any muscles. I didn’t work for my chest or anything either.”

“Minami-san would certainly murder you if she heard that.”

“Right.” I need to be more careful.

I’d driven Mizuto away and left Chikuma-kun by himself. I was completely alone. Why had I decided to call Higashira-san? Part of me thought she’d understand. Someone who was in love with Mizuto would be able to sympathize with my pathetic, unresolved feelings.

“So, I’m currently at the family home of the Iridos out here in the countryside...”

“Yes, I’m aware. Have you witnessed any strange customs? Or perhaps you’ve heard an ominous counting song from ancient times?”

“Sorry to disappoint, but no.” To be honest, I’d hoped I’d encounter something like that. “All the family members from his dad’s side are here though.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Among them...there’s a beautiful college girl.”

“Oh?” She’s not reacting the way I thought she would. She was neither surprised nor worried. “Could she possibly be Mizuto-kun’s first love?”

“Yes... Possibly.”

“Oh!”

“Okay, spill the beans. Why do you keep reacting like that?”

“I’m certain that Mizuto-kun was adorable as a child. I, for one, love a good May-December romance.”

“A what?” As usual, I have no clue what she’s talking about.

“I’m already full of bliss from simply imagining a smaller Mizuto-kun! Thinking about a beautiful older lady taking care of that incredibly cute Mizuto-kun is nothing short of hot! It’s incredibly arousing!”

This clears absolutely nothing up. What is she so excited about?

“You’re not shocked or anything? We’re talking about someone that Mizuto used to like,” I said.

“Why should I be? The mere image of that unsociable Mizuto being so close to an older girl from his family makes my heart skip a beat!”

“It...does?”

Hm... This isn’t as simple a problem as our philosophies on love being different. Our values aren’t even the slightest bit similar.

“Yume-san.” Higashira-san sounded dispassionate as she broke me out of my thoughts. “What kind of reaction were you hoping for?”

“Huh?” My heart trembled as if it’d been pierced.

“Pardon my question, but I’ve had the feeling that you’ve been fishing for something but didn’t get it. I’m so sorry if it’s all in my head!”

I didn’t get what I was fishing for? Yeah... I wanted someone to share my wound with and agonize over it with me. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to make her sad. I wanted her to share my feelings. I wanted her sympathy. I’m so shallow...

“I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to... I just wanted to talk with you.”

“Oh, I see. That’s good—”

“Isana! You better not be slacking on your workout!”

“Eek!”

I suddenly heard another voice from her side of the phone, eliciting a yelp from Higashira-san. She must’ve really been freaked out. I heard stomping in the background.

“A-Are you okay?”

“My mother’s coming to check on me! Apologies, Yume-san! I must attend to my job of maintaining my breasts!”

“Oh? O-Okay. Good luck?”

“Farewell!”

And that’s how the call ended. Maybe Higashira-san gets her weirdness from her mom?

“Your phone call over?”

“Eek!” I let out a shriek just like Higashira-san had as an unexpected voice rang out from above me. Looking up, I saw Madoka-san’s bespectacled face, wearing a devilish expression.

“That was a really cute shriek.”

“D-Do you need something, Madoka-san?”

Truth be told, she was probably the last person I wanted to talk to right now.

“You remember how there’s a festival tomorrow?” she asked.

“Uh, yes...”

From what I’d heard there was a large summer festival being held at the station. It was right before we were going back home. It’d be the last thing we did here. As things were right now, I wasn’t really looking forward to it.

“Natsume-obaachan said she’s gonna lend you a yukata for tomorrow,” said Madoka-san.

“Is that so?”

“Yep! Let’s go pick out our yukatas. Just you and me.”

“Okay.” Hm? I’d answered reflexively, but...just us? Now? Just the two of us?!

“Okay! Let’s go!”

Madoka-san grabbed me by hand and pulled me up before I could even wrap my head around the huge mistake I’d made.

“I’ve got quite the selection! Pick out and try on whatever you’d like!” Natsume-san said, shutting the door behind her.

“Thanks!” Madoka-san called out before placing her hands on her hips. “All righty.”

In front of us was a large selection of neatly folded yukatas. I’d usually be so excited by their beauty, but I didn’t really have the capacity for that right now.

“Anything catch your eye, Yume-chan? You’re so slender and you have long hair, so I bet you really rock the traditional Japanese look.”

“I...” This didn’t help my already sour mood, which was growing worse by the minute. The last time I’d worn a yukata was a whole year ago.

Mizuto and I had been in the middle of a fight, so we stopped contacting each other. Consequently, we didn’t make any plans the entire summer break. Even so, I’d desperately hoped that he’d be at the summer festival, even if we hadn’t made any plans. The dark blue yukata I’d worn then was still fresh in my memory.

“Yume-chan?”

“Wha—” I looked up and saw Madoka-san right before my eyes.

“Don’t like festivals?” she asked, worried. This only made me feel worse.

Madoka-san wasn’t at fault. Neither was Mizuto. I was the only one to blame. It was my fault that I was so weak.

“I just have some bad memories,” I said.

“Aw. Well, festivals tend to cause more problems than not. It’s easy to get lost, trip, skin your knees, or get hurt from the straps of your sandals—they’re filled with all sorts of danger.” She snickered. “I have a lot of baggage from when I went with my boyfriend.”

“Huh?”

She’d said it so naturally that it took my mind a moment to catch up. What did she say? Huh?!

“Your b-boyfriend?”

“Hm? Yeah, my boyfriend.”

“You...have a boyfriend?”

“Yep. Huh? Do I look like a single girl?” she asked, smiling.

Madoka-san was beautiful, cheery, and charming. Of course she had a boyfriend. I’d never even considered it. Maybe it was because I’d only really seen her as my cousin. Or maybe...

“H-How long have you two been dating?”

“Hm... We’ve technically been dating since we started college, so maybe a year and a half? I was with another guy in high school.”

“A different boyfriend?!”

“Yep! But he turned out to really not be my type, so I broke up with him,” she said between giggles.

She wore stylish red-framed glasses and looked right at home in a library. Yet she was the one being choosy?! Her looks were seriously deceiving! If she wasn’t my cousin, I doubt I’d ever try to get involved with her.

“What’re you getting so surprised about? I’m honestly on the less insane side of the spectrum. My friends are a lot worse. Their body count goes into the double digits. Me? Two people. See? Not bad, right?”

“So your boyfriend now is your third?”

“Well, technically, he’s my first boyfriend.”

“Your third boyfriend is your first boyfriend?!”

“Yeah, we got back together. We broke up once and got back together in college.”

Hearing this made me freeze. They got back together?

“Why did you get back together?” My throat felt really dry, but I was still able to squeeze these words out. “If you broke up, wasn’t that because you hated each other?”

“Yeah. I never ever thought that we’d get back together, but...” Madoka-san chuckled again, like she was laughing at herself. “When we met up again, I just decided to roll with it. I might’ve been pissed at him before, but I found that I didn’t care anymore.”

“You didn’t care anymore?”

“He was a slob, completely unreliable—a total loser. That part of him really ticked me off, so I dumped him. But when you get into college, it’s like all of your relationships get reset. You get to start fresh. We met during that blank-slate period. We naturally gravitated to each other, and then...” Madoka-san pulled out a bright blue yukata. “I began thinking that whether he was a slob, an unreliable guy, or a loser—I’d make up for all of his flaws. If anything, his flaws became more endearing to me.”

“Um, sorry to be rude, but...”

“Hm?”

“Are you drawn to flawed people?”

“You think so too?” That’s all I can think after hearing everything. “My friends tell me that all the time. My second boyfriend had good grades and was good at sports. He was perfect. He was so perfect, in fact, that it pissed me off. Even when I dumped him, he was chill about it. God, that made me so mad! It was like he had no attachment to me or anything. When I dumped my first boyfriend, though, he bawled ’cuz he was so attached to me.”

I’d thought of Madoka-san as a flawless person, but she was twisted in her own way, which gave me a sense of relief.

“Well, anyway, it’s impossible for humans to love everything about their partners,” Madoka-san said, holding the yukata to her body. “No matter how much you like someone, there’re at least one or two parts of them that won’t sit well with you. Couples are driven apart by those differences. But if you get past them, you end up being much more openhearted. You’ll still hate the same parts about them, but you’re more accepting of them.”

“Accepting of them...” I parroted.

“Yep! That’s me right now. My boyfriend asked me to borrow money for a mobile game recently, and I gave him a kick to his ass.” She laughed.

There’s always at least one or two parts of someone you won’t like. Those parts are what make people break up. I felt Madoka-san’s words deeply inside me. That being said, I was slightly worried for her future.

“So yeah, Yume-chan.” Madoka-san brought the yukata she was holding in front of me and smiled. “I dunno what happened between you and Mizuto-kun, but you shouldn’t let the small things bother you. There are so many unremarkable people and even more people to hate. If you find someone who you hate just as much as you love, then it’s all good!”

Thinking about it, it was so simple. The people you date are living, breathing human beings. They aren’t characters built around your ideals and delusions. If they’re the lonesome type, it’s only natural that they’d get jealous if you started being nice to others.

If they had lived their life completely alone until you tried to rescue them, then of course they’d fall for you. We weren’t talking about someone who was out of reach like an idol. We were talking about a person in the same place, same situation—a human being. Getting jealous or getting mad about their first love was futile. I knew that. I’d known it all along.

“There’s nothing going on between me and Mizuto.” Looking down, I saw the beautiful yukata. It felt too pure for me. “I’m just getting down on myself for my own pettiness.”

I couldn’t be as happy-go-lucky as Madoka-san, but if I could, then maybe I wouldn’t have to live life being shocked by every little thing. I didn’t have the right, nor was it at all logical. I was so annoyingly negative and incorrigible when it came to pettiness. Everything—everything was my fault.

“Hm?” Madoka-san took the yukata off my shoulders and tilted her head. “Yume-chan, it’s kinda dusty in here, isn’t it?”

“Huh?” I looked up at her.

She’d changed the topic so quickly.

“Let’s hit the bath together after picking out a yukata.” She shot me another devilish grin.

Madoka-san had urged me to enter the bath first. I took the opportunity to pour some of the hot bathwater on myself before submerging myself in it. I idly gazed at the ceiling as condensation dripped off of it, and suddenly, I realized that my brain had stopped functioning. Uh, what exactly am I doing again?

I glanced over at the changing room. The door was shut, but I could see Madoka-san’s silhouette tying up her hair through the frosted glass. She’d already gotten undressed, leaving almost nothing to imagine about her beautiful figure.

I wrapped my arms around my knees. She’d said that she wanted to have a fun girl-to-girl chat with me, but...this was my first time taking a bath with anyone other than my mom since my middle school field trip. Actually, this may have been the first time that I’d ever had a one-on-one bath with anyone. Why am I so nervous? She isn’t Akatsuki-san! There’s nothing to be worried about.

“Sorry ’bout the wait!”

The door rattled as it slid open. She stood in the doorway, with a hand on her hip as if she was proudly trying to show off her naked body.

I already knew how good of a body she had from when I saw her in her bikini, but I was once again blown away by how beautiful a waist she had, how well shaped her butt was, and how her legs were the perfect thickness.

Perhaps even more impressive were her self-proclaimed F-cup breasts, which retained their perfect shape even without a bra, bikini, or any sort of support whatsoever. It was as if they ignored gravity and the very laws of physics themselves.

Her breasts slightly bounced with each step she took. “Whaddya think?” Madoka-san asked proudly.

“You’re beautiful...” I answered honestly.

“Thanks! You too! I’m so jealous of how slender you are. Every girl wants to look the way you do.”

“Th-That’s not...” I shrank at her compliment. Hearing her of all people say that was too much to handle.

Madoka-san scooped and poured some of the bathwater on herself before gesturing for me to make room for her. As she stepped over the edge of the bathtub to get in, my eyes were inadvertently drawn to her pelvic area—or rather, what was missing from it. Was this grooming a result of having someone to show it to?

“Phew...” Madoka-san let out a satisfied sigh as she seated herself across from me. With two people in the bath, the water overflowed and poured down the drain outside the bath.

This bath was on the bigger side, but having two people in it was still a bit cramped. Even with my legs pulled against my chest, we were still touching. It kinda made my heart race.

“Whew, I feel so free!” Madoka-san said, her peach-shaped breasts floating atop the water.

With breasts that big, I bet baths are her only freedom from back strain. It must’ve been a great reprieve from the harshness of gravity.

“Heh. Are ya that interested in ’em?” Madoka-san snickered, noticing my gaze. She grabbed her breasts and lifted them up. “Wanna cop a feel?”

“Huh? U-Uh...”

“It’s on the house!”

“O-Okay...” It felt kind of weird to turn her down with the way she was insisting, so I nervously stretched my hands out towards her chest.

My fingers sank, and as I pulled them back, it felt as if her skin was wrapping around me, trying to suck me back in. Oh! So this is what it’s like to grope someone! I tried grabbing them from all different angles.

“Mm,” Madoka-san moaned.

“S-Sorry!” I freaked out and quickly pulled back.

“Just kidding!” she snickered.

This isn’t good for my heart. I was severely lacking in the mutual groping department. I may have even had less experience than Mizuto in that regard, what with Higashira-san in the mix and all.

Madoka-san leisurely rested her arms on the edge of the bathtub and lay her head in her hands. “So. Let’s have our little heart-to-heart before the heat makes us pass out,” she declared. “We can be brutally honest with each other. There’s nothing left to hide now that we’re both naked.”

“I’m not hiding anything...”

“Of course you are! How do you feel about Mizuto-kun? You like him? Hate him?”

It was a simple question, but still, I took my time to figure out how to answer. I used to like him and I used to hate him, but I didn’t know how I felt about him now.

“So, I’ve been giving it some thought,” Madoka-san continued, not waiting for my response.

“About what?”

“About what I’d do if I were in your shoes.” A drop of water fell from the ceiling into the bathtub, causing the water to ripple. “If I was a high schooler, and a boy the same age as I started living with me, I can’t even imagine how stressful that’d be. I’d have to watch out for so many things, and I doubt I’d be able to not notice him...you know? Your folks seem to be pretty okay with the situation, though, so that’s good. I bet that’s thanks to all the effort you and Mizuto-kun have put into reassuring them.”

Our relationship was not nearly as neat and tidy as Madoka-san was imagining. There were so many twists and turns, but...I doubted that our familial relationship would be the way it was now if we hadn’t gone through so much. It had actually hit me fairly recently that thanks to us knowing each other prior to our parents’ marriage, we were able to keep things peaceful at home.

“What would you have done if you were living with a guy the same age as you?” I asked.

“It’d depend on the guy, but if it were Mizuto-kun, I’d probably have fallen in love with him.”

“Huh...?” I blinked, dumbfounded by how plain and simple her response was. “Wh-What about Mizuto would make that happen?”

“Honestly? His looks.”

“His looks?”

Madoka-san snickered at my bewilderment. “He’s a cutie! If we were classmates, I doubt I’d notice, but living with someone makes you notice things that you normally wouldn’t, right? Plus, the fact that you’re able to live with him stress-free means that you don’t have any problem with his personality, right? If you’re good with him as a person and his looks, then there’s no way you won’t think about him like that. At that point, even his plainness starts to become attractive. You’ll start getting all giddy about how only you know how amazing he really is— Oh, by ‘you’ I mean in a general sense. No girl could resist.”

I had no words. Everything she’d said hit home. I got a feeling that even Higashira-san would fall silent after hearing this.

“I think the same goes for Mizuto-kun, though. Sharing a house with a beautiful girl like you’s enough to make him lose his mind.”

“Lose his mind...?”

“You’ll find out when you’re older.” She chuckled.

I felt my face burning. I plunged it into the water, blowing bubbles as I tried to calm myself down. These last four months, I’d had so many close calls, but the same went for him, no matter how cold-blooded he might act. Right? I mean, he does have those porn books. We still hadn’t gotten used to being under the same roof back then. We hadn’t met Higashira-san yet either.

“I’m sure that he’d have been perfectly fine without me around...” I spoke truthfully, taking my mouth out of the water. “There’s a girl he’s much closer to.”

“Oh, Higashira-chan? I’ve heard about her! She’s his ex, right? She’s been over a lot since summer break started, right? I’m surprised.”

“She’s not an ex. That’s a misunderstanding on our parents’ part.”

“Really?”

“They’re just friends. She confessed to him, but he turned her down.”

“Ah, I see. They’re just friends now? So that’s the kinda girl she is, huh?”

“What kind of girl is that?”

“They’re rare, but they’re the type that straddle the line between ‘friend’ and ‘girlfriend.’ She’s the type that girls hate—a love rival. It’s like, get out of the way already if you’ve been rejected.”

“I don’t hate her. Besides, it’s not her fault.”

“And that’s what makes it suck all the more. Wait, did you just admit to her being your love rival?”

“N-No, I didn’t.”

“You’re so stubborn.” She smiled teasingly. “She shoulda just stayed a friend at that point. I bet someone egged her on to confess.” This made me jump a little. “Hm?”

“I’m...that someone.”

“And the plot thickens.” Madoka-san folded her arms under her breasts, pushing them up. “I’m not sure how I feel about you aggressively pursuing the same guy you were trying to push your friend to date.”

“I’m not going to pursue him, though.”

“But you feel bad whenever you see her clinging to him, don’t you?”

I fell silent.

“You do, don’tcha?”

“N-No! B-But...” I still had unresolved feelings. The possessiveness that I’d had when we were dating hadn’t faded yet. “Maybe things wouldn’t be so muddled if they had actually dated...”

“All I hear is you trying to run away, Yume-chan,” Madoka-san chided while resting her head in her hands again.

“Huh?”

“You’re avoiding the issue of your feelings for him. Just because Mizuto-kun has other girls that he gets along with, you convince yourself that you don’t need to try and pursue a relationship.”

Me? I feel like I don’t need to try and pursue a relationship...with him?

“I’m just takin’ a shot in the dark, so take what I’m about to say with a grain of salt, okay? The most important person to you is your mom, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, your opinion of yourself is the pits. Because of that, you hold yourself back from going for things you want. All you think about is keeping your parents together, and that’s precisely why you think you can’t date Mizuto-kun. I completely get it. In a society where dating coworkers is already frowned upon in some companies, dating someone in the same household as you is basically unthinkable... Not that I’ve ever had a non-blood-related sibling,” Madoka-san noted. “But even so, you’re just fooling yourself. The clock’s ticking. How much longer can you keep it up?”

“Huh?”

“It’s hard enough to realize your feelings as it is, but it’s even harder when they’re for a family member. Regardless, that time will come, and when it does, you won’t have any more excuses at your disposal. You’ll have to decide things between yourselves.” It was as if she was stating an indisputable fact.

“What ‘time’ are you talking about? What happens then?”

“Hm... You’ll just have to wait and find out.” She giggled. “Oh man, I’ve always wanted to say something vague and mysterious like that.”

I kept thinking about what she’d said. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she was talking about. Still, though, she must’ve had some kind of basis for saying all of this. I simply hadn’t noticed yet, but it was clear for a third party like her to see.

“It’s like summer homework. You should get it out of the way before it’s too late and you’re scrambling to get it done.” Madoka-san began stretching. “You should at least sort out your feelings before that time comes. Forget about family, friends, and other people for a bit and think things through.”

“But...how am I supposed to figure things out?”

“It’s easy. Does he make your heart race? Do you find yourself thinking you wanna kiss him? If it’s a yes to both of these questions, then you like him.”

“How’s that different from lust?” I knew that I was saying this because I was stubborn. It was like I was still trying to protect something, so I was hiding behind these words. “‘Love’ is just something passed down by our ancestors—a survival instinct. Your heart racing from feelings of romance and feelings of lust aren’t too different, are they?”

“Oh, this annoying argument, huh? Well, for starters, love might be a survival instinct passed down from our ancestors, but what about same-sex relationships? Do you think that survival plays any part in them loving each other?”

“Well, no...”

“Then we have the age-old question about what’s different between love and lust. I have an answer, though, wanna hear it?” She lay her head against her arm that was positioned on the edge of the bathtub. Then, in a soft, teasing voice, she continued. “When I see my boyfriend’s face right after we have sex, I think about how much I like him.”

“S-Sex?!” I suddenly remembered back to the time that our plan to go all the way failed and the time that he pushed me down when our parents weren’t home. I felt my body getting so hot that I could barely feel the warmth from the bath anymore.

“Aha ha ha! Sorry, was that too much for you?” Madoka-san stood up, water droplets dripping off of her bountiful mounds like rain. “I’m not telling you to figure things out right now. You should take your time, but you shouldn’t avoid him anymore.”

“B-But...” If only it were that easy.

Madoka-san snickered again. At this point it sounded like the seventh trumpet, signaling the end of the world.

“Don’t worry. Leave it to me!” she declared.

“’Kay, wait here a sec.” Madoka-san shut the sliding door behind her.

After our bath, Madoka-san had dragged me to a dreary room. The only things in this room were drawers and empty bookcases. Apparently, nobody used this room, but at the very least, the tatami mats were clean, so somebody had to have been cleaning it.

It was amazing that there were still unused rooms even with all these family members staying over. There was an old, incandescent bulb in the middle of the ceiling, but it wasn’t on. There was no chain to pull, so I searched around the room for a switch or something while rubbing my arms for warmth.

Even though it was summer, the nights were chilly, so I was wearing a cardigan as per Madoka-san’s instructions to “bundle up.” It wasn’t like I was going to get unbearably cold all that quickly, so I didn’t know why I needed to do that. Did she need me to wait here for a while? My guess was that she wanted to mediate things between me and Mizuto.

Oh, there it is. I finally found the switch and flicked it on. I’d expected the light to turn on, but there was absolutely no sign that it was going to. Was the only light that this room got from the moonlight shining through the sliding door?

“Aaand we’re here!”

The moonlight showed the shadows of two people. Madoka-san and...probably Mizuto.

“Sorry! They wanted me to find it, but I ended up roping you in.”

“It’s okay. I’m already here. Might as well help.”

“Thanks! I’m sure we’ll find it in no time!”

They’re looking for something? Then it clicked. Madoka-san’s plan was probably to naturally ask me to help look for whatever it was too and provide an opportunity for Mizuto and me to talk. She was pretty clever. But also... He really does whatever she asks, huh?

“Okay, go on in!”

The door opened. Mizuto’s eyebrows raised as he saw me there. Madoka-san pushed him into the room.

“I’m pretty sure it’s in one of those drawers. Can you two look for it? Thanks!”

“Uh-huh...” Mizuto gave a noncommittal answer and glanced at me before heading to the drawers.

This was so awkward. You could at least acknowledge me! But instead of saying this out loud, I headed towards the drawers too. Right as I did, Madoka-san cried out in pain.

“Oh owie! Ow!” She bent over and held her stomach. “M-My stomach! I-I need to go to the bathroom!” she exclaimed, slipping away and shutting the door behind her.

I didn’t even have time to react because I was so stunned by how bad her acting was.

“I won’t be back for thirty minutes! Nobody else will come near this room! So stay here till I come back, okay? Don’t even think about taking one step outside. Got it? ’Kay bye!” Then she ran off, casting doubt on the claim that her stomach hurt in the first place.

We were left in an uncomfortable silence. Sh-She’s so bad at acting! I wanted a refund on any thoughts I had about her being clever. It was unbelievable how ham-fisted this all was. Even Higashira-san had more grace than she! Today I learned Madoka-san was a surprisingly horrible liar.

Mizuto sighed and pushed in the drawers with papers sticking out of them. “So that’s what this is all about...” He’d caught on to why he’d been dragged here in the first place. “Thirty minutes here, huh?” Mizuto checked the time, moved over to the sliding door where it was brightest, and then began messing with his phone. He seemingly had no desire to play along with the situation that Madoka-san had set up.

“You don’t have anything to say?” I asked quietly.

Mizuto glanced at me. “Don’t you?” His eyes snapped back to his phone. “I’m certainly not obligated to start this conversation.”

He was right. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. He might have wanted to try and talk things out in order to maintain our relationship when we were dating, but as stepsiblings, he didn’t need to care at all. It wasn’t like we could have a falling out and not be stepsiblings anymore.

He had no reason to apologize or beg for forgiveness. So unfortunately, the person who needed to start things off was...I. But I didn’t know how or where to start. How did things get like this, and what was the solution?

We’d been here for three days. The first day, I found out more about how he became who he was. The second day, I met his relatives and felt like I’d found a place in his family. But on the third day, I came to find just how small of a person I was.

I was negative, cowardly, irritable, and petty. There was no way that he wasn’t fed up. He’d definitely broken up with me because of these characteristics. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was at fault. I was bad at dealing with things, I was bad at being perceptive, I had a bad attitude, I was bad at communication—even the situation I was in right now, I’d pretty much caused all on my own.

That’s why I held on to feelings that I should’ve thrown away long ago. Oh, I get it. I started to understand what the problem was and how to fix it. I knew what I needed to talk to him about. But to do that, I needed courage. I needed more courage than it took to interrupt him while reading or learn more about how he came to be the guy that he was.

What I needed to do was open an old wound—my first love. I had to rip off the scabs on my heart if I wanted to be able to move forward. I had to accept this. I sat right in front of Mizuto, who was leaning against the wall. He still didn’t look up at me. I had to do something to grab his attention.

“Irido-kun,” I called out to him, using the name that I swore I’d never use again.

His fingers stopped moving.

“Irido-kun.”

His eyes flitted between his phone and me.

“Irido-kun.” I needed to face this head-on. I needed to take care of this. I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t notice these feelings anymore. That I’d gotten over them. I had to stop pushing them aside.

“Irido-kun. Irido-kun. Irido-kun!”

I wanted to call him by this name more. A whole lot more. So much more. A year and a half is such a short time. I wanted to spend our summer vacation together. I wanted to have a second Christmas and Valentine’s Day together. I wanted a third, fourth, and fifth time—I wanted to be with him forever.

“Irido-kun...” My lips quivered. I felt tongue-tied. But I still wanted to say his name more. I wasn’t even close to being satisfied. Even after saying his name this much, I still...

“Irido...kun...”

I remembered when he’d suggested our break-up. And how relieved I’d felt when he had, like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was over, I’d thought. It was finally over. I no longer had to feel these harsh, sad, and lonely feelings anymore. I’d really believed that from the bottom of my heart.

But even so, I began thinking about all the things we could’ve done, all the time we could’ve spent together, all the memories we could’ve made—it would’ve been so much fun. We would’ve been so happy. No matter how painful, sad, or lonely I felt, if I could’ve experienced those moments... Oh... How nice would it have been if we hadn’t broken up?

I regretted it. This was the first time since we’d broken up—since we’d become stepsiblings—that I felt regret. The fight that led to our breakup had been so trifling. It should’ve been easy for me to realize that I still liked him.

If I could’ve hung out with him and been by his side... If one of us had conceded and called the other over summer vacation... If I’d gotten him a Christmas present, if I’d made him chocolates for Valentine’s Day, if I’d told him that I didn’t want to break up—I’d had so many chances. I’d had an infinite number of chances and yet I still somehow let them all slip me by.

I’d stupidly expected that he’d do something because he was such a nice guy. I’m so stupid! I’m such an idiot! Focusing on my new class, making friends, studying for entrance exams—those were all excuses I made to distract myself from what I really wanted, and now look where that had gotten me. I was a mess of unresolved feelings.

“Irido-kun!”

You don’t have to respond. I’d make sure to end this by myself. You don’t have to respond. After I got over this wave of emotions, I was sure I’d go back to normal. You don’t have to respond. He was right. He had no obligation to.

I can’t cry. I couldn’t let him feel sympathy for me. I can’t cry. If I let him comfort me, we’d just be back to where we started. I can’t cry. I was the one who threw away the person who wiped away my tears.

“Ayai...”

It happened so suddenly I thought I was hearing things. There was no way he’d call me that anymore. But in the next moment, I felt his fingers gently stroking my cheek. It was real.

“This is a onetime thing...” Mizuto was on his knees right in front of me. “Let’s return to the past, Ayai.” He turned off his phone and dropped it. There was no other way to tell time in this room. We had no way of telling what year, month, or day it was.

“A-Ah...” In the next moment, I was wailing and embracing Mizuto with all the strength in my body. “Irido-kun, Irido-kun, Irido-kun, Irido-kun!”

“Ayai,” he gently responded, rubbing my back.

I wanted to apologize for everything—for getting jealous, for not mending things between us. Maybe if I’d been able to do that, this year could’ve been different. But neither of us tried to apologize. After all...it was over. It was all in the past. New things could only begin because old things had ended.

I started to slightly understand what Higashira-san felt when she had the person she’d been rejected by comfort her—the wound of a lost love. The wound from unresolved feelings. You needed to have someone with the same wounds as you to comfort each other. I shouldn’t have been sympathizing with Higashira-san, but with the only person in the world who could understand this pain—Irido-kun.

We held each other in the faint, moonlit room. We didn’t kiss. After all, he wasn’t my boyfriend, and I wasn’t his girlfriend. Not anymore.

“About five minutes left,” Mizuto said in a low voice, checking his phone.

Only five minutes until Madoka-san would come back as promised. It wouldn’t be surprising if she came a few minutes earlier or later, though. I’d exhausted myself from crying and was leaning against the wall, looking at myself in a pocket mirror. Oh god, my eyes are so red. Anybody would be able to tell that I’d been bawling if they saw me.

“So...” Mizuto began saying as he sat back down next to me. “What’d I do to make you avoid me? I still have no clue.”

Oh, right... I haven’t said anything about that. From his viewpoint, all I’d done was suddenly start crying while calling him the way I used to. I was surprised that he’d dealt with me the way that he did. Was he a mind reader? Nobody was this perceptive. I wasn’t going to deny it. I really liked that about him. Emphasis on “liked,” as in past tense.

“Who cares anymore?” I shrugged. “I feel better now. It’s passed through my system.”

“Whatever it is, it’s still in mine.”

“Why don’t you let it out, then?”

“I’m constipated. Probably from the stress that a certain somebody’s caused me.”

How rude. I’ve always hated that about him. Past and present.

I exhaled and looked up at the ceiling, preparing myself for what I was going to say next. “First love...”

“Huh?”

“It kinda pissed me off thinking how Madoka-san was probably your first love.” Ugh, this is so embarrassing! Don’t make me say this! I nervously glanced at him to see how he was going to make fun of me, but I was met by a look of confusion.

“My first love? Madoka-san?”

“Huh?” Wait, he’s genuinely confused?! “Sh-She’s not?”

“I don’t remember ever feeling that way about her.”

“B-But most boys fall for an older girl in their family.”

“Most. Not all.”

“W-Well, yeah, sure, but you listen to whatever she tells you to do! Whenever I ask you to do anything you ignore me!”

“Well, Madoka-san’s pushy.” Mizuto let out an exasperated sigh. “You’ve experienced it too, haven’t you? She made you wait here, didn’t she?”

“Oh...” He has a point.

“Sure, of all my relatives I’ve talked to Madoka-san the most because she’s the closest to me in age, but I’ve never liked her like that. If anything, I got annoyed that she’d always try to hang around me even if I didn’t want her to. I’m used to it by now, though...” He exhaled again. “Now I get it. I had a feeling you had some kind of misunderstanding after you asked me that weird question yesterday. You’re usually so smart, but you’re an absolute dunce when it comes to important stuff like this.”

“Grr...” It really is my fault this time around.

I heard the sound of footsteps approaching. It must’ve been Madoka-san. Mizuto stood up and looked down at me.

“You okay now, Yume?” he asked, his body bathed in the moonlight.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks, Mizuto.”

We weren’t calling each other by our first names because we’d gotten closer. It was simply for convenience’s sake now that we had the same last name. Nothing had changed between us.

“Heh, heh...” I wasn’t sure why, but I began laughing. Maybe it’s because after all this time, I realized that I’d gotten a sibling.

“See? I told you.”

“Huh?” I looked up at Mizuto, but he was looking at the sliding door, towards the footsteps that were approaching as if he was trying to hide his face.

“I told you that my first love was someone who laughed a lot...idiot.”

Right at that moment, I was really grateful that the light in this room didn’t work.