Chapter 01
Birth of a Soldier
Part One
On a cold, cold January night, I learned about the existence of a
conspiracy.
In my tiny six-mat1
, one-room apartment, I had ensconced myself
next to my kotatsu stove.2
It was a painfully dreary night.
Despite it being a new millennium, there was no hope in sight. I even
cried while eating my New Year's soup.3
For an unemployed, twenty-two-year-old, male college dropout, the
winter chill was piercing. In the middle of my filthy room, where
thrown-off clothing littered the floor and the smell of cigarette smoke
had soaked into the walls, I sighed over and over.
How could things have come to this?
It was all I could think about.
Birth of a Soldier
11
"Ah," I moaned.
If I didn't break out of my present condition soon, I would fall
behind completely and disappear from normal society. Even worse, I was
a college dropout already. I needed to find work fast and return to
society.
I just. . . couldn't do it.
Why? What was the reason?
The answer is simple: Because I am a hikikomori.
4
Currently, the hottest, most popular new social phenomenon—
hikikomori. That's me. A recluse.
They say that there are now approximately two million hikikomori
living in Japan. Two million is a tremendous number. If someone threw
a rock on the street, they would hit a hikikomori. . . Of course, that
wouldn't really happen. Hikikomori don't go outside, after all.
Anyway, I was one of the hikikomori currently so popular here in
Japan. Not to mention that I was somewhat of a veteran hikikomori. I
left my apartment only once a week, and then I'd just to go to a
convenience store for food and cigarettes. My friends numbered zero,
and I slept sixteen hours a day.
This year would mark four full years of living as a hikikomori. My
lifestyle had caused me to drop out of college.
Seriously, I was such a frightful hikikomori that I should have been
approaching professional status. No matter whom I might be up against,
I really doubted I'd lose easily to other hikikomori.
In fact, I was confident that if an "International Hikikomori
Olympics" were to take place, I would score pretty well. I was certain I
would beat out other hikikomori regardless of country, whether it was a
Welcome to the N.H.K.
12
Russian hikikomori who escaped through vodka, an English hikikomori
whose escape was through drugs, or an American hikikomori who found
escape by randomly shooting guns indoors.
Right! The famous founder of kyokushin karate,
5
Mr. Masutatsu
Ohyama, also known as the "Godhand," supposedly holed up in the
mountains during his youth in order to hone his spirit before going on to
become the world's strongest karate master. If you think about it from
that standpoint, then I—who have been holed up continuously in this
apartment for a number of years—must be, at this very moment,
incredibly close to becoming the strongest man in the world.
Well, it was worth a try. I decided to set up a beer bottle and try to
break it with a chop of the hand.
"Hiii-ya!"
While wrapping my bloodied right hand in a bandage, I sat back down
at the kotatsu.
Any way you looked at it, my mind hadn't been working properly of
late. Could it be because I get sixteen hours of sleep per day? Or was it
because I'd avoided contact with other people for more than half a year?
All day long, my brain remained in a fog. Even when I walked to the
bathroom, my gait was unsteady.
But I didn't care about all that.
The more immediate problem was how to break out of this helpless
hikikomori lifestyle.
Yes! I have to escape this festering hikikomori life as fast as possible. A
Birth of a Soldier
13
return to human society! A rebound from dropping out! I'll work, find a
girlfriend, and lead a normal life!
If I continue this way, I will become a trauma victim. If I continue like this,
I will be disqualified as a human being. I need a resolution right now!
Resolutions, however—such as "Today is the day I go outside and
make myself find a part-time job!"—just faded away like mist, in fewer
than ten minutes.
Why? Why is this?
Probably my ridiculously long life as a hikikomori had rotted away
the very roots of my spirit.
I can't go on like tins. I must do something quickly.
At that point, I decided that in order to force my thoroughly
weakened spirit to recover, I would try taking some of the White Drug I
ordered online.
Even though it's called White Drug, it's not a major stimulant or
anything. It's a perfectly legal, relatively powerful hallucinogen.
However, although legal, it's said to have nearly the same effect as LSD.
It acts directly on the serotonin receptors in the brain and reputedly
causes unbelievably intense visions.
Exactly. To escape my gloomy situation, I had no choice but to rely
on pharmaceutical power. I'd been pushed to the extreme of trying to
stimulate my own worn-out brain with violently strong hallucinogens.
It’s just as the famous Tatsuhiko Shibusawa6
said: "The
enlightenment you receive through religious training and the
enlightenment you receive from drugs are, in the end, one and the same."
Or something like that.
If that's the case, then let me be enlightened through drugs.
Welcome to the N.H.K.
14
I will gain enlightenment and escape my hikikomori self I will shatter my
feeble spirit and replace it with a strong sturdy courage. I will place just a small
amount of the White Drug on top of my kotatsu and, in one breath, I will snort
it up my nose!
Part Two
Oh, how wonderful, how pleasant!
In my tiny, grimy, six-mat, one-room apartment, with a kitchen sink
filled with dirty dishes and a floor littered with cast-off clothing, I
actually experienced a trip!
The walls wobble and squirm while the air conditioner breathes deeply.
Mr. Stereo Speaker is talking.
Oh! Everything is alive. We are all one world.
Mr. Refrigerator, good evening.
Mr. Kotatsu, thank you for warming me.
Mr. Bed, you're the most comfortable bed ever.
Mr. TV, Mr. Computer, and everyone else I've met up to this point, thank
you all.
"Mr. Satou, break out of your hikikomori life soon!"
Oh, everyone, you're all supporting me? Thank you, thank you. Nothing
could make me happier. Now, I'll be fine. With everyone's warm support, I can
escape from my life as a hikikomori.
Please watch. Look, right now, I am about to go outside. It's three o'clock in
the morning, but that does not concern me. I'm about to escape from this room
Birth of a Soldier
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