No Game No Life - Volume 9 - Chapter Pr

SKIP START 

Okay, it’s time to recap. You may object, asking, “Where’d that come from?” Unfortunately, you have been overruled. Stories always need recaps. Just look at those Games of the Year that subject you to an annoying recap with every load screen. I hope that puts you in the mood to tolerate at least one recap. If not, go ahead and skip it. 
Our setting is Disboard, the world on a board. A world where all violence has been prohibited by the Ten Covenants and everything is decided by games. Into this world came a brother and a sister from Earth, who are good at nothing except games. 
No, that was a bit too much of an understatement. Let me rephrase. 
A brother and a sister, Sora and Shiro, both socially incompetent shut-in losers, who build up their kung fu at failing at life. 
Together, they are “ ” (Blank), the two-in-one gamer who reigns undefeated in every sort of game. Otherwise, they are pretty much useless. They then appeared in Disboard—specifically, in the Kingdom of Elkia. This is the last country of Immanity, the human race, which has been pushed back into its last city, on the brink of extinction. So Sora and Shiro were like, Well now, let’s see here… and casually grabbed the throne. And they started playing games against the various other races of the “sixteen seeds,” or Ixseeds, who have various totally broken abilities like magic and superpowers. It’s too bad these two don’t get along with the class’s honor students like Love and Friendship and Justice. They’re always hanging around with those troublemakers like Fraud and Cunning and Trickery. 
So they beat Flügel, Werebeast, Siren, Dhampir, one after the other. Then they beat Old Deus—the gods themselves. Yet, they didn’t enslave or subjugate or oppress any of these guys. Instead, they took them under their wing. The Kingdom of Elkia turned into the Commonwealth of Elkia. It’s history’s first multiracial commonwealth, and it’s spreading like wildfire. 
This all happened in the span of a few months. This steady build brought Elkia from its knees to the top of the world. Which also means it’s now considered one of the greatest threats in the world. But whatever. Continuity is power. Even in the case of horrible human beings, credit must be given where credit is due. 
…Anyway. Perhaps you’ve heard of the second law of thermodynamics: the law of increasing entropy. That law that says things would rather dissipate than concentrate. Hey, it’s not a hard concept to understand. I bet everyone’s had some experience with it. 
It’s the mystery of how your room would rather get super messy than stay clean. 
It’s how you struggle to gain favor with your crush, but then you make one wrong choice and suddenly, you’ve lost them. You work like a horse to earn money, but then gamble it all away on junk. When playing a game, you have to actively try to win, but losing takes no effort at all. You get the point. Basically, it’s easier to destroy than to build, easier to lose than to keep. 
Now, all you dear readers who have skipped to this point: How about I segue from a recap into a spoiler? You know Sora and Shiro? The law of entropy applies to them, too. 
 They lose everything. 
Yes, everything. The throne, the position of agent plenipotentiary—everything. Everything starts crashing down from that one phone call. Who would have thought they’d get a call in the middle of a fantasy world with no reception? Who would have thought they’d get a call at all? It’s not as if they ever had any friends. So they pick up gingerly and this is what they hear: 
“We request an audience with you, O King of Immanity, O Spieler. We—are Ex Machina.” 
 
Now we return to the Kingdom of Elkia in the Commonwealth of Elkia, back when it was alive and well. The stately Elkia Royal Castle stood tall in the center of the capital, and it bore a placard. This enormous placard dangled from a spire, as stately as the castle itself, and it announced: 
C LOSED FOR B USINESS. 
In the Elkia Royal Castle that was now closed for business… Scratch that—the Bl4nk Productions Castle, as the wooden board nailed onto a stone slab would have it. In any case, the castle was now deserted, with every last one of the staff having been given time off. The only sounds that echoed within its walls were the footsteps of a young redhead, Stephanie Dola, better known as Steph, and— 
“Okay, stop!! Holou, you really think you’re gonna be a star like that ?!” 
“…If you don’t have the drive…just quit…!” 
—likewise from the L ESSON R OOM indicated by the wooden board on the assembly hall— 
“I know not even the meaning of the word ‘drive’! If I may quit, then quit I shall!!” 
“Gahhh!! We say quit, and you just go ahead and do it?! Kids these days!” 
“…This is why…no one, respects…your generation…!” 
Thus was the tearful declaration of the uncomprehending little girl, and the weary sighs of the two from that very same generation that no one respects. 
The former was Holou, a little girl with a floating inkpot that was roughly the same height as her body. She was a god—it was impossible to mistake her for anything else. To be more precise, she was an Old Deus, Ixseed Rank One. 
The latter were Sora and Shiro, a brother with an “I ? PPL” shirt, and a sister with white hair and red eyes. The two of them were—though one would desperately like to mistake it or hide it—the monarch of Elkia. 
Steph was glaring at these two horrible excuses for human beings, bewildered by the sheer spectacle of them bringing a god to tears. 
But Sora continued his rant, completely oblivious. “Tomorrow’s supposed to be your big debut ! The hell are you thinking performing steps like those today?!” 
If you were wondering what it was that Sora and Shiro had to close the castle for, here is your answer. They were now in the business of producing a pop idol: Holou, the Old Deus. 
Steph hung her head as she questioned the siblings’ sanity. 
“Holou hath acted in accordance with thy requests! If thou hast objections, ye must state them in full!!” 
Ignoring her, the seated Sora and Shiro sighed once more at Holou’s protests. 
Suddenly, they got up and broke into song and dance. 
Steph was at a loss for words. It was perfect. 
“ Hff… Hff…! Like that ! Y-you get it?!” 
“…W-we can’t, keep this up… Please , just get it.” 
Sora and Shiro collapsed onto the floor, out of breath. 
“That accorded not with your description !!” shouted Holou, stamping the floor. 
In a way, making a god stamp her feet was kind of an achievement. Sora and Shiro snickered. 
“Merely following the music is the work of an amateur! A pro expresses herself in order to rouse the audience!” 

 

“…Not that there, is an audience… But I guess this is the, console version… And, it’s not like you play…when people are, watching.” 
The two of them had achieved the top scores even in music games and karaoke. Holou, as a god, was perfectly capable of replicating what she saw right down to the letter. But— 
“There’s no point in ripping off others! Express yourself! You’re not a machine. Sing from the heart!” 
“Thou shalt explain the meaning of ‘expression’ and define this ‘heart’ from which thou wouldst have me sing! And clearly!” 
Holou wailed at these incompetent producers who only gave vague instructions. 
…Incidentally, Steph had been calling Sora’s and Shiro’s names all the while, for a total of four times. 
“C’mon, Holou! One more time! ‘(Save Me) Godly Summer ? ,’ from the top!” 
It seemed there really was only one name the two of them would respond to. In light of their continued disregard, Steph drew in a deep breath and shouted: 
 
“PRODUCERRRRRRRS!!” 
“Hmm? Oh hey, didn’t see you there, manager babe .” 
“…You can just, call us ‘P’… Mmkay?” 
Sora and Shiro turned deliberately toward Steph, now that she had addressed them correctly. 
“I thought you were jok— Well, no, I honestly didn’t…” 
Nothing Sora and Shiro said could ever be written off as a joke. Steph, of all people, must have known that by now. And yet, with what little hope she had, she asked them why they had vacated the throne, given leave to all their attendants, and closed the castle. 
“But still, I have to ask. You’re closing the administration ? Do you want to destroy the country?!” 
Her cry, in other words, was a plea to locate the whereabouts of the monarch’s misplaced minds. 
“Whaaat? You want us to work our staff twenty-four seven? Talk about a corporate scandal…” 
“Is it not preferable to a rumor that the boss is insane?!” 
But Sora had been so focused on Holou’s song-and-dance routine that he merely answered. 
“Do you know, Sir, what people are calling you two?!” 
As Steph snapped her finger at them, Sora and Shiro wondered: 
— Wait, what could it be? 
Perhaps “the monarch of national resurgence, who has vanquished higher races one after the other and overcome the gods themselves”…? But it wouldn’t end there. Sora and Shiro imagined the kind of slander that would be mixed in. 
“They call you the Discredited King ! They trust you even less!!” 
“What, that’s all? …Hey, wait, that’s actually kind of a cool name!” 
“…Nah, it’s…kinda lame…” 
The brief bit of stress dissipated with Steph’s answer; Sora was hyped up, while Shiro felt let down. The fact remained that they didn’t give a shit, which irked Steph to no end. 
“Look at all you’ve done, only to be scorned rather than celebrated . Do you know why this is?!” 
It seemed to offend Steph more than it did Sora and Shiro. 
— How to explain it…? 
They ruminated on this intractable problem before Sora’s expression turned mysterious— 
“We trick people into falling in love with us and bet Race Pieces without asking anyone. Just how do you expect anyone to be like, ‘Oh yeah, I trust you!’? We’re obviously just frauds, perhaps even lying bastards.” 
“ Ah-haaa! ? I’m so glad you’re aware of all this! ? Now do something about it!” 
—and he asked back just why anyone should trust him. Steph answered with what could be described as a song and a dance. She twirled with the grace and sensitivity of a ballerina. 
“I understaaand, people can’t change just like that. You just have to take little steps, one at a time—so you can stop being a fraud who won’t even let me in on what’s going on! How about we start with you telling me why you closed the administration?!” 
Her ballet dance gradually became more heated, until it transformed into a break dance punctuated by a shout. 
— Holou could learn a thing or two from her , Sora and Shiro both thought. 
“Why we closed the administration…? No real reason… There just wasn’t anything to do.” 
There’s no useful move for Elkia to make at present. 
But this first reason failed to convince Steph. 
“What do you mean there’s nothing to do? What about the commercial associations? They were just getting started!” 
…Commercial associations… Mmm… What was that again? 
“The traders and lords who’ve been fattening themselves up on all the new resource export! Don’t you remember the other day? You two got them all to play a game by the Covenants to shove your papers down their throats!!” 
“Oh yeah. Don’t worry, I remember. Those pretentious douches, right?” 
He didn’t lie. He remembered. He just didn’t mention that he’d forgotten. 
Sora and Shiro thought the same thing. 
— This is what I hate about nation-building strategy games. 
They knew well that the idea of a multiracial commonwealth would be hard for people to swallow. Then on top of that, they had to deal with the people’s reactions to this meteoric rise and reformation. The economic and legal stuff wouldn’t be able to keep up, and it was just one domestic pain in the ass after another. Not least among which were these nouveau riche smart-asses and all the uproar they caused. 
“So. What about them? We dealt with them, didn’t we?” 
“The way you did was like adding fuel to the fire! Don’t you see people are just getting more upset?!” Steph pointed fiercely to the two siblings. “It’s time for you to show your leadership as the monarch! It’s a test of your personal charisma!!” 
And in such a time, for the monarch to be one like this… Steph’s face seemed to say, All right, forget it. She worried that if the castle—the de facto seat of the Commonwealth—was to be shut down, then even the advisers— 
“…If there’s, one thing…we don’t have…it’s…charisma…!” 
“Why do you think we stay inside all the time? Chew on that!!” 
The two had not the slightest confidence they could be loved— However! They sneered boldly in their conviction that they would be hated, and furthermore —! 
“Thus, we have demonstrated beyond all doubt what exactly Elkia is currently lacking!” 

“…It’s…a charismatic…figurehead…to rally, the people…” 
“In other words: Our first priority is a national project to raise the ultimate idol !” 
The two of them shouted out the second reason and looked at Holou, who, for her part, was just silently writing more questions on her scroll with a pout. 
“Yo, Holou! You hear what we just said?” 
She had heard. She just wasn’t convinced. Her face said it. 
“Your argument cohereth not! What business hath Holou with thy lack of charisma?!” 
“You don’t have to do anything with it. You just have to use your mad charisma to win us authority.” 
Yeah, like the Shrine Maiden and the Eastern Union…! Sora smirked. No need to have the actual head of state be trustworthy so long as there was a figurehead to bring the nation together. 
“Holou hypothesizes that your true meaning is that Holou should be like her host .” But if they just wanted her to be like her host, the Shrine Maiden… “ Holou’s host doth neither sing nor dance! Ye must state the reason for which Holou must become an idol in this inscrutable sense ye describe!” 
“This is the nineteenth time you’ve asked! So I’ll answer you as I have all eighteen times before: Heaven wills it! ” 
As far as idols were concerned, there existed no greater talent than the one who stood before them. To not make her into an idol would be to desecrate the treasures heaven had bestowed upon them. Sora explained as much and soon felt Steph’s icy gaze piercing through him. 
“…So basically, this idol thing is just something you personally want to do.” 
“A cheeky one, you are; really cheeky! This plan is a perfect fusion of my arbitrary desires and actual benefit!!” 
As he spoke, Sora thought: Let’s imagine it. A state whose authority is personified in an unmatchable, literally goddess-level babe, the perfect idol… 
Sora knew, as did Shiro: I’d move there immediately! 
Sora looked far, far into the distance, toward his boundless ideals, as he spoke… 
“What overcomes the barriers of race and brings a country together as one? …Love. What is love? Affection, faith— worship . One who is worshipped is called a god. Also known as an icon. Otherwise known as an idol. Which can only mean a cute girl. And therefore, Holou! My logic is bulletproof. If you think you can refute it, just try!” 
“…Well, yes, it is impossible to argue with specious nonsense.” 
The bounds Sora’s syllogism took between each of its seven steps were quite exhilarating. Steph replied with a skeptical squint as Holou continued to sulk. 
“Then instruct me specifically in what ye would define as a ‘perfect idol’! I shall recreate it for you!” 
Sora and Shiro sighed and shook their heads at Holou. 
“ Hff… You’re talking to two who have mastered idol-raising games of every stripe.” 
“…Building…the perfect…character…is not, that hard…” 
A sleazy grin spread across Sora’s face as he spoke. 
“Look. You just need the right choreography that’ll look sexy but, y’know, not too sexy! And then you get the costumes, and the songs with phrases like, ‘I love you so much’! And you have her cough up lines here and there like, ‘I love allll my fans! ? ’ And you give them the hope that they might actually have a chance with you, so you get them to line up for a meet and greet, you close the distance, and bam ! There ya go!” 
Besides, just look at Holou’s beauty. An Old Deus shouldn’t have any problem performing perfectly. 
“I’d bet on it. You’re gonna bring us a buttload of fans and a truckload of money.” 
“…Is it just my imagination, Sora, or do you sound bitter?” 
Steph caught the dark trauma behind Sora’s eyes, but he went on. 
“But remember what we said. We’re gonna make you a star .” 
“…Not two-dimensional, not fiction…not even three-dimensional, or plastic…but a perfect idol …” 
Sora and Shiro paced in no particular direction as they defined just what it meant to be a star, a perfect idol ! 
“What we seek is the unrealistic spirituality of two-dimensionality, combined with real life and the presence of three-dimensionality, to make something that is neither two-point-five-dimensional nor three-point-five-dimensional, nor four-dimensional, nor… Uh…?” 
Sora’s passionate spiel ground to a halt. He looked to Holou. 
“Holou, you said you’re ‘polygenetic,’ right? Like, how many?” 
“I-it dependeth on the definition… But we might suppose that Holou’s nuclear coordinates lie on 13 + iR variable dimensions—” 
“Exactly! Like, over eleven dimensions! Literally an idol from another dimension!” 
Sora brazenly plowed right through this report, which flew in the face of his old world’s understanding of physics! Then, even more courageously, he bellowed out his lofty ideals!! 
“She is the hope that allows us to live! Even if she should have a boyfriend, get married, grow old!! A blessed being who will sob tears of gratitude! That is our Avalon, the distant ideal which we envision—the perfect idol…” 
Having come to the close of their heated discourse, the young man and his little sister held a brief silence as if to bask in the afterglow. 
“…Do you see?” 
“I do not.” 
“Nor do I.” 
God and human alike rejected the call to their ideals out of hand. 
“Well, it’s all right if you don’t understand! I mean, it’s not like we do, either!” 
“…Nod, nod.” 
They’d said all that only to end with “We dunno, either.” Cynical stares met their enthusiastic nods. 
“Still, I have faith in you, Holou. You’ll be the one.” Sora smiled wistfully. Maybe she’d even transcend his ideal. “I mean, you don’t age, and you don’t even go to the bathroom! How could anyone question whether or not you’re destined to be an idol?” 
His eyes agleam, Sora had made his last, but certainly not least point— 
“…No… I’ve had enough… My stomach is full…” 
—and Steph choked out a nauseous refusal. 
“That’s fine! We’ll resume Holou’s lesson. ‘(Save Me) Godly Summer ? ,’ from the top!” 
“…You’d better…prove yourself, today…or tomorrow’s gonna be, ugly…Holou.” 
“H-Holou is not finished! She grasped not the meaning of even half of your statements— Oh! Sora! Shiro!” 
Holou protested in vain as Sora and Shiro dragged her off. 
Steph sighed to herself. “We could be attacked at any time…” 
Sora answered anyway. “Hmm? We’re not getting attacked.” 
He jabbered on. “Didn’t I tell you? We closed the castle because there’s nothing to do.” There was no useful move for Elkia to make. Sora rehashed the first reason. “They can’t attack us. No one can do shit about us the way we are now.” 
“……” 
He knew what Steph’s silence meant as she peered at him. The Commonwealth of Elkia had domestic issues from its too-rapid expansion. Yeah, that was a pain. But that could be perfectly well cleaned up by the rest of the currently on-break castle. You know, by Steph. 
What was important was how Sora and Shiro, the monarch of Immanity, were seen from outside . Here, there was a great country that had subdued numerous races, even higher races, and absorbed them into itself to swell with riches. And it wasn’t simply overt games—they’d even beaten Elven Gard, the greatest country in the world, indirectly, without even fighting them! They’d swiped their land and thrown the rest of their nation into internal tumult. Now people might think that their own nations were in the process of getting undermined. Becoming a great country? Multiracial commonwealth? Who cared about all that? Here’s what Elkia really was, as far as anyone was concerned. 
—A conquering empire, ready to take on everything through games. 
And its king and queen were some kind of incomprehensible freaks who kept playing and winning, even against gods. If put in terms of a strategy game, they were winning too much. This is where all the other players would start ganking them from all sides. But Sora smirked. It was futile. 
“Who’s gonna try to play Elkia—I mean, Shiro and me—now?” Sure, they might be owning any and all competition, but that was precisely why no one could challenge them. But, as Sora went on to languidly point out, that was precisely the problem. “Still, it’s true we gotta stay on the ball. Since, you know—they’re gonna have to play someone else .” 
“…Oh! So…they’ll start with the Eastern Union or Oceand?!” How could it be that they could halt the administration of Elkia, now at last the linchpin of a commonwealth, without issue? Steph exclaimed as if now she saw at least one reason. 
Indeed. Ordinary administration must be the least of the worries of the other countries of the Commonwealth. There were surely forces spying, slipping in to undermine. 
“Yeah… But the Eastern Union’s game is still unbeatable… So?” 
It truly is busy work…figuring out how to squeeze their foes for all they’ve got. 
“Even so, it’s not time for us to take the initiative…so there’s no move for us to make. And what do you do then?” 
“…Skip a turn…” 
“……” 
Okay, then. Their trap was ticking along just fine behind the scenes. Their associated states were utilizing it to its fullest, ordinary administration be damned. Even so, it looked as if Steph wasn’t convinced that this was enough of a reason to shut down Elkia’s government. 
“…Shiro and I aren’t even looking for people to trust us.” Sora grinned and thought, That’s not who we are, d00d. Sure, people might call them the monarch or the agent plenipotentiary or whatever, but at the end of the day, they were just gamers. “It’s always best to leave things to the experts. So we leave politics to the politicians.” Likewise, leave gaming to the gamers. “We stick to what we’re good at. We solve problems the way gamers do.” 
“ …Hff… All right.” Steph couldn’t help but chuckle at Sora’s positivity. “So I take it you two have something in mind.” But she still did not seem entirely satisfied. 
Whenever Sora and Shiro did anything, there was always… something behind it. By this point in her acquaintance with them, Steph could figure this out. Still, given that they, as ever, showed no interest in sharing it with her, she had to get in at least one jab: 
“But, Sora, you’ve misread many things lately… Is everything okay?” 
“Misread?! Me?! When, where, and at what hour and minute of what day of this planet’s revolution?!” 
In that game they’d played with Holou the other day—the game against Old Deus—Sora had misread a few things. “ ” had even admitted a defeat . Steph baited him with this effectively. 
“…Brother, you dork… You’re like, a little kid…” 
“An actual little kid is telling me this?! Fine, I misread things! I’ll never do it again, okay?!” 
But he merely shouted back in desperation under Shiro’s icy gaze. Their voices sounded as if they were just joking around, but if you looked into their eyes, you could see the resentment bubbling up from within. 
It seemed Steph could tell it was no joke to them. 
“So! Just how are you planning to exploit me now, to the point of closing the rest of the administration ?” That’s why you’ve blockaded the castle, isn’t it? Steph smiled bitterly. 
“Oh, Steph, you’re getting the picture! Here ya go!” 
“…Holou’s…costume…” 
Sora and Shiro shoved a sheaf of papers at Steph and smiled back. 
“By tomorrow, okay? We don’t have anyone else who can do the job. You’ll make it in time, right?!” 
“…Don’t worry, Brother… No …is for liars…” 
These corporate scumbags seemed ripe for a scandal. 
Steph gazed into the distance and mumbled: 
“…Now that I think of it… You never give me a day off…” 
 
Outside the Elkia Royal Castle, where about a million flags’ worth of foreshadowing was taking place, a group in black was weaving through the din of the merchants on Main Street. Cloaked in robes from head to toe, with hoods pulled low over their eyes, they hid their faces from view. The group silently marched forward in the most inconspicuous way possible. 
Seher report: Old Deus response confirmed. Target coordinates estimated as Elkia Royal Castle. 
Prüfer report: Coordinates identified: Agent plenipotentiary of Immanity. Inferred name: Sora. 
They shared the data from their long-range observation and crowd noise analysis as they walked forward. Forward, ever forward… 
—Acknowledged. All units, prepare to engage target . Start advance calculations. 
In accordance with the destiny of flags to be checked, of foreshadowing to be fulfilled, they marched on, in Sora’s direction: forward…