Chapter 7 : Struggle for Sagara Yoshiharu (Part 1)
......That's how things went, and now Yoshiharu who is in Honbyo temple had just finished reading the letter Nobuna sent over.
A 100 cat ear girls harem is serving him, all of them are wearing maid uniforms not appropriate to the normal clothing of the sengoku era, even Frois who is the embodiment of chaste, nobleness and delicacy is amongst them. Once he thinks of the fuming mad Nobuna, Yoshiharu understands that he must immediately open the gates of Honbyo temple and kneel on a burning hot metal plate to apologize to Nobuna.
He does understand that, but if he just frantically ran away from Honbyo temple, what would happen next?
To snatch Yoshiharu back, the believers of Honbyo temple would definitely cause a riot.
And in the end, it would turn to a full fledged war.
But, if I don't return to Nobuna's side, Nobuna who always follows through with her words will definitely attack Honbyo temple as promised and the war will break out anyway.
Is this a unavoidable disaster?
Holding the letter Nobuna sent in his hands, Yoshiharu hugged his head and sunk into thoughts.
"I'm dead, this time I've gone too far!! What should I do now....."
Wearing ninja outfits and scaling through the walls, Inuchiyo and Goemon who brought the letter over are out of ideas too.
".....Just desserts."
"Akechi-shi is abnormally furious too. If there's any difference, when Akechi-shi is furibous(furious), she is cold as ice, that makes me even more terrified."
"Why even Juubei? Ahh, I don't care anymore. Anyway, if I don't prevent this war, then all the efforts I put into teaching the namban soccer to Honbyo temple and becoming the Namban soccer god will be down the drains! Frois, do you have any good ideas?"
Frois who fits perfectly into her cat ear maid uniform "Uhhh...." as she tilt her head slightly.
"To appease Nobuna-sama, you should talk to Nobuna-sama directly, there's no helping it if you want to avoid this war.... It's ok, I will be by your side to help."
"Oi. If you wear that cat ear maid uniform, Hime will be even more furious."
".....To think that Yoshiharu actually designed such a shameless outfit for the girls, what a pervert."
The gaze that Inuchiyo gave Yoshiharu... so cold.....
".....Pervert."
"I'm sorry, Inuchiyo! There's a very deep reason for this, it's never to betray Nobuna! I've actually protected my virginity till now!!"
"....Compared to cats, dogs are obviously cuter. Unforgivable."
"So that's what you're angry about!?"
In front of their eyes, Nobuna had completely surrounded Honbyo temple both on land and sea.
If Yoshiharu knows his mistakes and returns, she will have peace with Honbyo temple. If he remains stubborn, she will treat it as an act of revolt and attack.
That's what the letter states.
Kennya and Magoichi are already full of fighting spirit now.
"Oda Nobuna really attacked~nya! Since you guys are provoking us, we will take this challenge~nya! Yoshiharu must stay here as the namban soccer god to continue working for us, if not, we will be troubled~nya, so troubled~nya."
"We have all the provisions we want. Same for our arquebuses and ammunitions. We can keep this up for a few years. So, the battle between the Oda clan and Nyankousou is destined in the end. Ahahahaha!"
Nyaaaaaa! The believers shouted out in unison.
Compared to before Yoshiharu came to Honbyo temple as a peace envoy, everyone seemed even more heated up.
"....I'm ok with being popular, but being treated as a god is too over the top."
Yoshiharu poured his feelings out to Goemon and Inuchiyo again and again, but both of them didn't pity him at all and said, "You deserve it."
"It's been said that wanting to get the best of both worlds is dumb. Especially so if it's about the princess of the Oda clan."
"I'm so sorry, Goemon! How about I just abandon everything and be a monk now? If I disappear suddenly, both Nobuna and Honbyo temple won't fight over me like this, at the very least, war can be prevented. But Sagara Yoshiharu will become a super coward even lousier than a monkey, and can only live on with this tainted name."
"If that's the case, I will lead the way for you to escape this temple secretly. The rest of your life, let's see, how about changing your name to Sagara Douhun and living the rest of your life in retirement?"
"....You've finally degraded from a monkey to shit. Really, this is just desserts." [28]
Inuchiyo pouted with a indignant face.
"Is this the end of my life when I'm still so young....? Wait. I remember there's a samurai called Asaki or something who betrayed Oda Nobunaga, yet he abandoned all his family and friends to escape from the castle. After that, he changed his name to "Douhun" as an act of guilt and lived on sadly for the rest of his life. There seems to be this rare incident in "Oda Nobunaga no Yabou", or is there one...?"
Uwahh! I thought I was here in the sengoku era to replace Tokichirou, but actually, I'm just the substitute of this Asaki Douhun!?!? This is bad, Sagara Douhun is very bad!
"Sagara-san, it's ok. Let me go and talk things out."
"Since Frois says so, I should be more forgiving, but how are you going to talk things out this time?"
At this moment, the Oda side sent yet another letter, this time, it's addressed to Frois.
The one sending the letter, is the young master of Takatsuki castle of Settsu province, Takayama Ukon, Christian name Dom Justo. Even in the capital, this person is considered the most devout. Who knows just what kind of skit did he perform to enter the gates of Honbyo temple.
"It's been a long time, Frois-sama."
Ukon who had been always been upright in his behavior, this time, his expression is pale as a ghost.
In the letter that Nobuna sent over, there were "Using that cow-like breasts of yours to seduce Saru blablabla" words full of jealousy and rant as they took up half of it, the contents were all messed up, but after reading the important points, it's meaning is as follows.
"Did you marry with God, why are you Saru's concubine now? If you flirt with Saru anymore, I will forbid all Christian activities right now!"
Frois looked at the sky as she sighed, "My lord, am I wrong? I only mean good when I do all this, yet Nobuna-sama is being so furious."
"The thing about me being the concubine, it's all a misunderstanding. I'm just curing Yoshiharu-san of his troubles... Definitely not doing lewd things."
In fact, even when Yoshiharu became the harem king, he didn't cheat with anyome. Because in his brain, the fuming face of Nobuna will pop up and roar, "Saru! You're planning to cheat!?", once he thought of Nobuna, he didn't have that kind of mood anymore. Actually, the main reason is, Yoshiharu only wants to do such a thing with the girl he likes, which is Nobuna, but he himself thinks, "It's because I'm so scared of Nobuna that now I'm ill, just how deep are the wounds of my heart?" as he deceives himself stubbornly.
Takayama Ukon sighed, "If this goes on, the Christians will...." Compared to being a samurai, Ukon's faith in Christianity wins out, but at this time, there's nothing he can do too.
To actually think of suppressing both Honbyo temple and Christianity, you gotta have limits to being emotional! I originally thought you had become meek, but it's still the same in the end, Yoshiharu grumbled. But Inuchiyo and Goemon retorted, "Whose fault do you think it is!?" as they stared at Yoshiharu angrily.
"Yeah. It's all my fault. I've gone overboard! So sorry! I surrender and I will go alone over to Nobuna to talk things out!"
But Kennya and Magoichi with their believers, as if they were burning with competitive instincts all chattered,
"You going over like it's nothing is like asking for death~nya."
"Exactly. I will protect you, so just relax!"
"We should just let the Kirishitan guard the temple with us~nya. Since we are already here, we should just break the religion barrier and stand on the same side~nya!"
"Exactly! Why is that Oda clan's princess so furious just because Yoshiharu-san didn't return? Ridiculous!"
"Yeah~nya!"
They totally ignored Yoshiharu's "I'm going out, open the door!" request.
"You have even provoked the wrath of the demon lord of the sixth sky. You will be dead meat if you just go out like this~nya."
"I will protect you, but... let's have a drink first! Ahahahahaha!"
The so-called Osaka styled gratitude from this bunch of fellows,
With this, Yoshiharu had nothing more to say.
On the other side, at Nobuna's side which had surrounded Honbyo temple, there was someone who rode a small horse as it quickly ran over. Sitting on it was a young girl who was unenergetic and a little pale.
This girl is none other than Takenaka Hanbei who had just stopped the fierce onslaught from Odani castle and averted the crisis at Mount Toragozen.
She looks very weary, most likely from the rushed trip over here from Mount Toragozen.
As a reward, Nobuna gave Hanbei an Uiroumochi.
"Hanbei. I have used all kind of methods, but no matter how I threaten Saru, he just hides in Honbyo temple and refuses to come out. Is he really intending to quit from my side? If this goes on, we will really have a war on our hands. Do you have any good ideas?"
"Cough. Nobuna-sama, the more you are fuming, the more frightened and nervous the other party becomes, in the end they will have to confront you. So as to say, it will have an opposite effect, so don't be angry no matter what."
"I did intend to not be angry multiple times, but the anger just keeps rushing up! You understand, don't you!? No matter how Saru is being frivolous all the time, this time round, he has gone overboard!"
"Hmmm. Though there are lots of different reasons that caused the situation right now, but even if the world comes to an end, Yoshiharu will never do things that betray Nobuna-sama. Right now, we should believe in Yoshiharu-san even more." "Th...Though it's like that, but beside Yoshiharu, there's those people.... even that Frois wears cat ears and became abnormal? Yoshiharu and Frois, no matter how I see it, they are being brainwashed by Honbyo temple with their crazy atmosphere."
"From the current situation, even if Yoshiharu-san wants to return, the people in Honbyo temple will worry about the safety of Yoshiharu-san and won't agree to open the gates for him. I Hanbei have a good idea that will let us get Yoshiharu-san back in a peaceful way. Simply put, we have to show Honbyo temple our generosity and dismiss their wariness against us. It's just... Can Nobuna-sama and the people of the Oda clan follow through with this idea... I don't have much confidence. Cough."
"Since this is Hanbei's idea, it must be right, I will do anything!" Shibata Katsuie said.
"Honbyo temple, Kirishitan faction and Sagara-dono, it's a foolish plan to treat all of them as enemies. We will follow Hanbei-dono's plan."
Niwa Nagahide nodded and said.
Mitsuhide and Nobuna too don't plan to fight this war as they agreed, "Let's try it out."
But, the idea that Hanbei gave is extremely embarassing, there's a certain level of difficulty for Nobuna and the rest to execute it.
Nobuna blushed furiously as she said, "Oi, what joke is this!? I'd rather choose death than this!" Katsuie fainted on the spot. Nagahide didn't know what to do, "I can't rate this." Mitsuhide endured as tears welled up in her eyes, "To think that I Juubei who inherited the Tsuchizaki clan's esteemed blood will be doing such a humiliating thing...... I will definitely be lectured by Mother."
To let all the girls feel that embarrassed, just what is Hanbei's idea....
The next day's dawn.
"Yoshiharu~ Saru~ Come and be a good boy, hurry and come back~nya!"
"The thing about marrying me, we can talk about it later, return to the Oda clan first~nya....."
"Why even I must wear the cat ears~nya? My style isn't fit for such a thing~nya. 30 points~nya."
"Really? I like such an attire actually....nya. Though everyone has been calling me "Demon Shibata" and all the guys had avoided me. Now that I am wearing these cat ears and tails, don't I look like a cute girl....nya."
"Cough Cough. Yoshiharu-san~, don't abandon Hanbei and the rest~nya."
In front of the gates of Honbyo temple, with Oda Nobuna leading, the Oda clan members were spread out wearing the strange future style "maid uniform" that Yoshiharu designed, along with cat ears, cat tails and cat paws, talking like cats as they start to call for Yoshiharu towards the direction of Honbyo temple.
Nobuna and the rest tried their best to suppress the humiliation and fury in their hearts as they used a cute and tearful tone to moan, "Hurry and come back~nya!", like they were all on bargain sale. Since we're doing it, we might as well follow through! With such a thought process, everyone moaned at Yoshiharu and gave alluring signals, it's really an outstanding service!
Kitty Hanbei "This means peace" waves a white flag and said, "Cough Cough. My throat hurts~nya. I'm having a fever~nya. Master~, hurry and come over here~nya." as she used all her tricks to act it out, but somehow, it looked real.
Yoshiharu climbed onto the top of Honbyo temple and looked at Nobuna and the rest from afar, as he was stunned speechless. But once he heard Hanbei's voice, he edged away from the chair slightly.
This instant didn't escape from the smart Hanbei's eyes.
"Yoshiharu-san is shaken! The word "Master" seems to be the crux, everyone!"
"What crux are you talking about, I'm the master of that Saru!? It's ok for Hanbei to say that, but for us to say that is a little too....."
".....Though I hate it and it infuriates me, but if I were to shout, since "Hubby" and "Master" is the same word, Juubei will say it. Ma...Master~! Please be gentle and keep this Juubei who knows nothing about the world~nya!" [29]
"Si...Si...Sin...Since Juubei has already shouted, I will too! Master~! Please take care of this silly Nobuna gently~nya! If Master isn't around, Nobuna can't sleep at all due to loneliness at night~nya!"
"Hi...Hime-sama sure is spirited......nya. I will try my best!.....nya. Master.....! It's true that Frois's tits aren't bad, but my breasts are the highest quality....nya."
"....I...I really can't shout it out, 15 points, nya."
"No, Manchiyo! Throw away your sense of shame and shout! At this time, just you not doing anything humiliating and getting over with, I won't accept anything like that~nya!"
"....Ma, Mas...Master, please dote on this Manchiyo....nya.... Ahh, I'm a goner, with this, my reputation is all gone. 0 points....nya."
The Oda army's reputation was known throughout the country, everyone of them are disciplined and are the finest of the crop, but right now, they are talking in cat language and wearing maid uniform, calling Yoshiharu "Master~" with such an embarrassing form. Looking at such a scenery, Yoshiharu can't help but feel a chill crawling on his back.
"My heart is beating fast after looking at this, but everyone is definitely enduring their anger inside... especially Nobuna. If I don't go out, things will really be bad."
"Same thoughts here. Once I thought about being with them doing that, my heart becomes full of fear."
"....If there's dog ears, I don't really mind."
Goemon and Inuchiyo looked at each other as they give out a "Ahh, it's lucky that we came over here." atmosphere.
"Master... Somehow, that name seems to give me a sweet feeling."
For some unknown reason, Frois's cheeks flushed as she fidgeted around.
In the end it's still the idea of the smart Hanbei, the effect was tremendous.
All the believers finally released their guard against Nobuna.
Since the Oda clan's daimyo had put down her pride and dressed up like the Honbyo temple believers.
After Kennya and Magoichi, and the executives Shimotsuma army saw such a scene, they thought, "Now what should we do?" and started discussing.
"From this, we can deduce that the Namban soccer god-sama's life is safe. We should open the door for now."
"But opening them unconditionally will make the believers disappointed. No matter how we make peace with them, we need to find a place for us to talk things out."
"True, but if we leave Honbyo temple, we might suddenly have an ambush on our hands. How about we ask the commander of the Oda clan over to the temple?"
"Magoichi, those who don't know skits don't have the right to enter the gates of Honbyo temple~nya. This is the rule of Honbyo temple~nya."
"You have a point. But, somehow that ninja and small doggy who sent letters came in without us knowing.
"The ninja and doggy use ninja techniques to run in here~nya. With the two of them, all of the Oda clan must perform a skit~nya. Only those who pass are allowed to enter the guest room~nya. This is truly a snag~nya, but if those fellows really want peace, skits shouldn't be a problem for them~nya."
"What do we do if all of them fail, Kennya-sama? According to this Shimotsuma Kakehu's observation, there isn't anyone in all of the Oda clan that looks like they can pass. Well, the culture of Owari and Osaka has a determining difference in the end, or should I say, because they don't treat flour-based food like normal food and always eat their Miso, that style of theirs can't fit us at all... Everyone seems to not have the talent for comedy. According to my observations, a thing like Miso....."
"Ahh... Enough, irritating~nya! I've decided~nya. To see the sincerity of the Oda clan, we will let them perform a skit~nya! The negotiation will begin then~nya! If all of them fail, they can continue dreaming about asking us to hand Yoshiharu over, and we will reject their requests asking us to surrender~nya!"
The one who brought Kennya's decision over to Nobuna's side were Goemon and Inuchiyo along with Frois.
The Honbyo forces increased the defenses surrounding Yoshiharu.
At his left and right are Kennya and Magoichi.
Especially when Magoichi is still carrying her Yatagarasu, she can just shoot Yoshiharu any time she likes.
I shouldn't have to fear that she will murder me without any warning, but if I just run away, I might have to suffer that terrible fate. It's precisely because Kennya and Magoichi are too emotional, once they took a liking to me, they won't let me go that easily. Especially Magoichi who is at a marriageable age is always going "Don't you want to have me as your wife....?" seducing me.
"I can't sneak away easily with this... From now, what do you plan on doing, Nobuna? In fact, can that fellow handle skits? Since she never seems to make people laugh. But her provoking of people seems to be at a genius level...."
Yoshiharu prayed in his heart, "Please, anyone, please pass this!"
Nobuna and the rest, with their cat ear maid attire started their skit performance challenge lining up.
The location is a special spot in front of the gates of Honbyo temple.
Nyankousou's believers are at the western audience seats while the foot soldiers of the Oda army are at the eastern side.
At the forefront of the judges are Yoshiharu, Kennya and Magoichi.
The conditions for passing are very strict, only when all three judges raise up a [O] sign will the challenger be allowed the right to pass through the gates.
The first group to rise to this challenge is Inuchiyo who had always hoped to become a skit master and Goemon.
On Inuchiyo's head are dog ears instead of cat ears, all of her body seems to cry out, "....dogs are cuter.". So when she got on stage, the believers "Nya....Nya....Nya..." as they started boo-ing her.
Her partner Goemon seems to understand the atmosphere as she puts on the cat ears honestly.
At the backstage, Nobuna and the rest were coming up with gags.
"We should at least have a day to prepare the gags, isn't this too unreasonable? Who is partnering who?"
"This genius and eloquent Juubei is up to a solo performance, a partner is just a burden."
"Ahh, dearuka. Juubei is performing solo. You are alone without a partner, when you've said something wrong, you may not notice it yourself?"
"Nobuna-sama, Juubei has already mastered "72 techniques of teasing". Relax."
"I think teasing and doing a comedy are two different things... But is that ok?"
"I'm partnering with Nagahide, Hime-sama!"
"Hmm. From the age and charisma, these arrangements seem ok. 70 points."
Shibata Katsuie and Niwa Nagahide became a group on the spot.
Takigawa Kazumasu is staying on the sea in charge of locking down the area, and due to the cowardly nature of Hanbei, she can't stand on stage in the first place. Matsunaga Hisahide too went "Just comedy, I can't seem to understand at all." and rejected, so......
"This is troubling. With this, I have no one to partner with, isn't it?"
"Then Nobuna-sama, I dare ask, I once went through the skit training of Rikyuu-sama and passed, can I do the tsukomi?"
Wanting to defend Yoshiharu as she returned hastily, Frois started promoting herself. Under the maid uniform that was designed by Yoshiharu, those two peaks of hers were extremely obvious, and that irritated Nobuna's extremely sensitive feelings to a great extent.
".......Saru's concubine wants to be my partner.....?"
"Didn't I say already, that's all a misunderstanding. In Yoshiharu-san's heart, there's only one person, Nobuna-sama yourself should know."
"Forget it, now isn't the time to be quarreling, hurry and think of a gag. Frois, that gag that Saru and you thought up on the spot... Change it a little to fit me."
"I got it."
Just when the backstage was hurriedly preparing for their skit performance, on the stage, Inuchiyo who was nervously saying, "Now is the time to let everyone acknowledge the strength of Inugami-sama" and Goemon who was chattering, "Uwah~ Cat ears are so embarrassing.", their skit performance was about to begin.
"Inuchiyo thought too simply of skits, that's really worrying."
Yoshiharu with a worrying face sits on the judges area but Inuchiyo's expression is full of confidence.
But...
"......."
She can't say anything out!
Oh yeah, Inuchiyo isn't one with lots of words!
If the partner didn't throw out a gag, there won't be anything to continue on!
".....My name...Inuchiyo..........................."
After just reporting her name, she remained silent and motionless!
Calm and composed, like the wind!
Not asking for any fame or riches, like the forest!
Being scolded by all, like the fire!
Being silent and unresponsive, like the mountain!
The messed up version of Furinkazan is completed right here.
Nyaa....Nya.... The boos and shouting are becoming louder and louder.
"These two are hopeless~nya."
"It's quite new to see a skit master not say anything."
"Damn. This will be a broadcast accident in broadcast terms! Goemon, say something!"
Yoshiharu cheered Goemon on. Goemon was standing at Inuchiyo's side as she trembled with fright.
Goemon's eyes brightened as she panicked, "Huh? Yeah!" The red pupils of her eyes regained some of the original brightness.
"I...I'm a ginja(ninja) master that can pake(make) children cry, Hachisuka Goemon... Uwah...Ahh... I can't do it, 'tanding(standing) on the stage is too hard for ge! Hurr and help me, Maeda-shi!"
It's all over, she can't even say 30 words! She's too nervous! Yoshiharu panicked.
"....Understood. Inuchiyo with a spear is invincible."
"Uwah~! Don't pull out the spear! The gag, hurry and say it! I... I'm not eloquent, I can't do such a thing!"
Uwahh, that ninja stutters so much, penalty... penalty. With this, Magoichi isn't in a good mood too.
"....Then, let's talk about skits famous in our hometown. Inuchiyo is from Owari. Uiroumochi is the best. Flour based food are all unorthodox when compared to Uiroumochi."
"Ohh, who would have thought that the gag that she is saying can be interesting." Kennya said.
"......People have said nonsense that Miso are shit and denounce it's value. They do not understand the value of Miso. Hatcho Miso does look like shit and it does smell, but that bittersweet taste that floods the mouth as it slowly disperses, that's the best... But now that I think about it, that taste isn't any different from shit....."
The whole crowd burst with laughter! Inuchiyo had originally planned to say it seriously, but this is Osaka. Disgusting jokes like this are the best! Can this salvage the situation? Just when Yoshiharu is about to sigh from relief.
".....Umm.... Where does Goemon come from.....?"
"Eh? E....Er...Umm... a secret! As...as a gin...ginja(ninja), I can't easily reveal my borigins(origins)!"
".....I see. I understand. Not asking anymore."
"Is this the end!? They had finally something interesting, and this hometown skit is just going to finish without having even started!?"
Yoshiharu can't help but be troubled as Kennya and Magoichi silently raised an [X] sign.
At this moment, regrettably, both of them are out!
Inuchiyo and Goemon group had failed spectacularly!
"……(???;)!!"
"Ahh. Auhhhh. The ninja rules are very strict! I'm really sorry! Auhhhh!"
Bham!
Is it to carry the responsibility of failure, or is she panicking due to her words being illiterate, with tears welling up in her eyes, Goemon threw a smoke bomb right between her legs and she disappeared along with the smoke that rises everywhere in the stage.
The stage suddenly broke as a huge hole appeared and Inuchiyo mumbled with no change in her expression, ".....Since there's a hole, I wanna sneak in it too." as she disappeared too.
The last disappearance of Inuchiyo by the smokebomb gained lots of cheers, but since Kennya and Magoichi had given the [X], it was too late.
"Ahh, they become popular only now, what a waste!!!"
"Being silent on the stage and suddenly self-destructing, it's quite interesting~nya. But the crux of the skit is 0 points~nya."
"Isn't that so. Illiterate and being silent, these two....."
The next to appear is Shibata Katsuie and Niwa Nagahide.
Katsuie is playing the fool and Nagahide is doing the tsukomi, there's quite a good feeling for this grouping. When Katsuie goes out of control, Nagahide will tsukomi, this will be a good chance for a comeback. Yoshiharu had great expectations.
But, when Katsuie with her cat ear maid uniform attire which emphasizes on her breasts entered the stage, the foot soldiers of the Oda clan(Most of them are guys) all started to leer(Nyaaa....Nyaaa....).
"The Demon Shibata-sama, to think that she wore such lewd clothing."
"Who would have thought that her body would be quite feminine~nyaaa."
"Hahahahaha, you can't help but nyaaaaa already."
After discovering this Katsuie and the demon Shibata's image is far different, these people were abnormally excited.
And under the influence of Yoshiharu, there are more huge breast lovers among the Oda army.
With this, Katsuie who isn't used to handling guys became nervous and is totally in the stage fright mode.
"Eh? Ah, Ah, Ahhhhh. Our foot soldiers, their eyes are as lewd as Saru! Ahhh, don't look at me now, don't look at me! Nagahide, help!"
"....I'm shy too and am nervous right now. Can't help anyone."
"Aren't you trying to act feminine all the time, you should be able to handle this much better! I can't do it, under the lewd gazes of all these men!"
"Katsuie-dono, I'm never acting feminine. My image is that of a "Nee-san". 5 points."
"What's so different about Nee-san from being feminine!?"
"It's different. Because though I'm older than Hime, my selling point is still purity."
"Anyway, just me being revealed among all the gaze of the men is too unfair, Nagahide should just reveal your breasts too!"
"Wait. My breasts aren't as huge as Katsuie-dono, so it would be a waste revealing them, please stop acting like this. 10 points."
"Uwahhhhhhh! Nagahide, you traitor~!"
"Let's not dwell on this, we should start telling jokes now. Let's go with, to handle our clan's Hime, we should rant, followed by slander and then spreading rumors. Geez, it's so troubling to see our Hime having the habit of commiting arson. She will flare up all the time, and wanting to destroy everything. That's such a bad habit. As the chief advisor, I have advised her countless times. If I continued to stay beside Hime to do the job of a chief advisor, I might really be overworked... Just joking. This wordplay, even I think it's worth a full marks." [30]
......silence......
Everyone in the audience seats aren't uttering a single sound.
She said it! She said the wrong thing, Nagahide-san! Yoshiharu tried his best to signal to her. But she herself seems to think, rather than stripping, it's still better to say the wrong things. When Nagahide is wearing the cat ears, her image is already close to being destroyed, I think she doesn't want it to be destroyed any further.
"Katsuie-dono must have some opinion about Hime too. Now is the best chance to say it out."
"How can I...I...I...I...I say bad things about my favourite Hime!?"
"Katsuie-dono, this is wrong, all these are jokes to be used in skits... To obtain the right to pass through the gates of Honbyo temple, it's the best plan to use Hime as our joke. A 85 point joke."
"Ok, just reveal those breasts of yours! Since we are partners, we should suffer together, right?"
"You...wait a minute. I'm not used to this bad performance... That should be Katsuie-dono's area of expertise."
"You're saying that I'm a bad actor!? Yo...Yo...You! I...I'm cutting you down!"
"If you want to think like that, then I will just practice with you."
Ara ara, internal feud between partners~nya, quarreling amongst themselves once they are on the stage for the first time~nya. Kennya gave her disagreeing thoughts.
Isn't that so, come again after finding a good partner. Magoichi is going to raise her [X].
"Now isn't the time to say that yet, please wait for a little while more. If it's Katsuie, if it's Katsuie, she will muster up her strength and will have a way to pass this!"
Yoshiharu stopped the two of them, but there were unhappy voices amongst the crowd of believers, "The atmosphere isn't heated up~nya." Katsuie noticed the subtle atmosphere and shouted,
"I don't care anymore, this is all for Hime-sama! I don't care for the acknowledgement of those believers, but let me at least gain some support from the Oda clan's foot soldiers!"
Saying that and answering to the wishes of those Oda clan's foot soldiers calling excitedly, "Please strip~nyaaa, Shibata-sama!" "Shibata-samaaaaaaa! Please do show us your skin~nyaaaaa!" "We can die with a smile on our face~nyaaaa!" "Let us see your tits!" "Reborn!" she reluctantly started to slide her maid uniform from her shoulders down.
"Uhhh. Sob, sob. M...My...My purity is gone with this, but this is all for Hime-sama! Since I've failed with skits, I should just use this body to make people happy....."
"Please stop, Katsuie-dono. This isn't skit, but it's already another type of performance. 1 point."
"Don't stop me, Nagahide!"
Oioi, isn't this too much!? Yoshiharu can't help but stand up. But at this time, Kennya and Magoichi raised up their [X], with this, Katsuie's chastity was finally secured at the last possible moment.
"Revealing the breasts is quite new~nya, but no matter how I see it, it's just copying from butt eating Magoichi's creativity~nya!"
"Yeah, it's my exclusive right for lewd skits. And showing breasts or butts to guys, that is a nono. That is not performing a skit at all~"
"How can I show Katsuie's breasts to so many damn brats. That's too sad."
Yoshiharu too raised the [X] sign. And so, the depressed Katsuie who was about to step down from the stage began to gash her teeth and become furious, forgetting all about how she cried just now.
"Oi, Saru! How dare you fail me, you traitor! You have always seen me as your enemy, right!? I will cut you down soon, prepare yourself and wait right there!"
"No, it's not like that!"
The more he tries to explain, the more Katsuie becomes angry, what should I do... Now that he thinks about it, it's becoming harder for him to go back to the Oda clan.
"With this, two teams have failed, there's two more teams left~nya."
"Hmmm. The next is a solo performance, that's quite rare. She seems quite confident."
"Juubei, solo performance isn't difficult for you. As usual, she's a genius."
With the drums drumming up, the cat ear Mitsuhide stands onto the stage energetically.
Originally, Mitsuhide was already a perfect bishoujo, but who would have thought that with those cat ears, that wide forehead and long black hair can be such an outstanding combination.
Ohhhh, it's so good that everyone in the audience starts to sigh from admiration.
But, once Mitsuhide opens her mouth...
"I'm the smart, beautiful, elegant and proud Tsuchizaki clan's descendant, Akechi Juubei Mitsuhide. I'm a distinguished daimyo-sama under the orders of Nobuna-sama to rule over Omi and Sakamoto and have been given the position Koreto Hyuga no Kami by the Yamato Gose. Now that you have seen me in such close distance, you should be touched and clap for me."
She starts to arrogantly boast about herself. It's not that bad for the Oda clan's foot soldiers who had always admired Mitsuhide's looks, but the girls at the believers side aren't that happy about it. "Don't tell me she is going to follow up with her talking to herself?" "She gets on my nerves~nya." "Not a tinge of cuteness~nya. There's alot of such bad girls who only know how to seduce men nowadays~nya." Eyes of admiration are instantly changed to that of jealousy.
No, Juubei, with this, you will become the "girl who is hated by other girls"! Yoshiharu tried to use his eyes to signal to Mitsuhide, but this time, Mitsuhide misunderstands him "Senpai is looking at me intently." and becomes even more arrogant.
"Even at the Oda clan, there's only me Juubei who is allowed to build her own castle. Even Sagara-senpai isn't a daimyo that can own his own castle. That means that I Juubei am the no 1 of the Oda clan. Not long ago, Nobuna-sama asked me to be in charge of maintaining the peace of Kyo and the negotiation of Mount Hiei, it will be soon that this Honbyo temple will be given to Juubei to manage. To marry Sagara-senpai, I Juubei will build a huge castle in the lands of Osaka, so all you believers can move away quickly. Of course, I Mitsuhide am an elite that's smart and generous, so I won't just ask you to leave like this. In Kyo that the Honbyo temple once stayed in, I will build a new luxurious Honbyo temple for you guys. Though it's quite far from the center areas of Kyo, but Mount Daimonji is a dreamland that has beautiful scenery, it's a spiritual resting spot for the believers of the Honbyo temple. Right now, I can accept 500 mon as the moving fee. And, the building fee for rebuilding the new Honbyo temple comes with interest too... That will be a 10% interest. Come, please witness the beautiful province, Yamashina! Ah, I almost forgot. If all of you reject moving from Osaka, it's the same as opposing the Oda clan, please prepare yourselves???"
Juubei, this isn't skit, that's just an advertisement on land properties, no, that's an eviction notice! Anyway, what relations does it have with marrying me and building Osaka castle?
Yoshiharu starts feeling giddy as he slumps back on the chair.
The situation became messy, forcing Shimotsuma Kakehu and Shimotsuma Rantei to have to tell the audience everywhere, "Please don't throw benches onto the stage."
"Scram~nya! Marrying Yoshiharu, what the hell is she talking about~nya, this fellow!"
"Ahh~. Who can help tsukomi her a little, if not, this playing the fool will..."
"That should originally be handled by me...."
"X~nya."
"Yeah, X."
Regrettably, Mitsuhide failed too.
She herself grumbled, "I've finally said something nice to you guys, why must I Juubei be X? The people of Osaka are just so ridiculous." as she steped down from the stage.
"Sigh, from the instant that Juubei who doesn't notice the atmosphere started a solo performance, I had expected this. There's no helping it... the last is Nobuna? I don't think Nobuna knows how to perform skits, but I can only see what the heavens have arranged for me."
Yoshiharu prayed to the heavens, "The miracle at Okehazama, please come again!" Lots of things have happened recently that forced me to a corner, I think I can't do anything else but pray.
"Yoshiharu, give up~nya. It's too difficult to ask Owari people for comedies, it's too strict for rules like if they fail the skit, they can't enter~Nya."
"As expected, the problem comes from the Miso. If they eat too much Miso, their comedic senses suffer. But that doggy's shit joke is quite interesting."
"Doggy's shit. Hehehe. Magoichi, you start doing some wordplay by yourself, that's quite brilliant of you~nya." [31]
"What's next is war, laugh while you can, Kennya."
Seeing that the stars of the Oda clan had all failed one after the other, Kennya and Magoichi had already given up the hope on holding the peace meeting.
But, the last two person appeared on the stage.
The two are fully equiped with cat ears, maid attire with cat tails....
"I'm Oda Nobuna....
"I'm Louis.Frois."
"The two of us are called...."
"Era of great regret" [32]
"Ahh, Frois. You, regret coming over to Japan?"
"Nono. I'm just regretting a little that I've doted on Yoshiharu-san too much. Because that guy, no matter what he becomes proud immediately."
"Yeah.... Once we become nice to him a little, he reveals his original self and becomes a lewd monkey immediately!"
"But, in the deepest depths of him, he's quite pure and won't play around. He's just a mischievous kid."
"What are you talking about, Frois. You are being deceived by that Saru! Nyankousou girls that are sitting on the audience seats, everyone, wake up! Yoshiharu isn't a human. His true self is an EXTREEEEEEEMELY lewd, despicable demonic breast rubbing monkey!"
"You seem to be regretting that you have kept Yoshiharu-san under your wing, Nobuna-sama."
"Of course! It's all because of that fellow that I have to wear cat ears and even don this maid uniform. And why is that fellow sitting among the judges, he's just a monkey that I kept! Depressing!"
"Okok. The lord once said, "Don't hate others.", you should forgive Yoshiharu-san."
"The God in Christianity hasn't taught, "Don't hate monkeys", right?"
"Ehh....Ahh.... It...It seems to be so.... What is that exactly?"
"Your breasts have just been touched by him alone, I've suffered even more compared to you! I can't forgive him no matter what! Ahhhh, I've been regretting every day."
"Is that so? What have you suffered from him?"
"Umm...No...Don't talk about this, Frois. Tell the truth, to what extent have you suffered under Saru? If you don't tell me honestly, I'm gonna whack you with this harisen?"
"Please wait, Nobuna-sama! Calm down!"
"You, why are you holding up the harisen? Don't tell me you want to hit me, the future ruler of men?"
"Th...That's due to habit. After undergoing a strict training, I have the habit of wanting to whack upon seeing a harisen."
Ohh, seems like it's finally a good skit~nya. Kennya's eyes seemed to light up with brightness.
The foot soldiers of the Oda clan are in a outrage too, "My...My...My...My...My master Hime-sama is the cutest once she wears the future costume~nyaaaaa!" "Frois-sama's breasts are the best too~nyaaaa." "As expected from the leader of the Sagara clan, the clothes that he designed pack quite a punch~nyaaaa." Seeing these two refreshing cuties, they seem to have lost their minds.
The believers of Honbyo temple said instead, "Let's see how much further they can go~nya." Since the previous batch was totally terrible.
Just to mention, this time, both Nobuna and Frois are holding a harisen.
It's a never seen before double-tsukomi type.
There's a tense atmosphere in the audience seats.
"Do the two of them plan to play the fool and tsukomi simultaneously? That's quite new~nya."
"I didn't think that Frois could hold a harisen to hit Nobuna... but I don't wanna see Frois being hit too, how troubling."
Regardless of all this, the joke that Frois mastered can only be "breast skit"
Frois prayed, "Lord, this is for peace, please forgive me." and said out the joke that she had changed to fit Nobuna.
"Oh yeah. In my homeland, girls with big breasts will be treated as demons, but I heard that in the future where Yoshiharu-san lived, the bigger the breasts, the more the men love it, Nobuna-sama"
"......Uhh. So you are going with this joke now? I...I...I....My breasts aren't small either, not small at all!"
"Really? Because I've never seen them directly, so I'm not too sure, but I think they're not even half my size."
"Your breasts are just the same as a cows! It's not the size of the breasts that matters, the shape is important too! You and Riku, only the size of your breasts is huge, what a turn off!"
".....Uhh. There isn't anything of the sort! Just by being enveloped by my breasts, Yoshiharu-san seems to be so happy that it seems that his heart has been healed? The lord must have wanted me to "save the hearts of those who are hurt", that's why He gave me such a pair of big breasts. It's so heavy that my shoulders are always sore, but I can endure such a level of pain."
"....Sh....Shoulders being sore... I...I'm not envious at all! I...I...If...If...If I have such a pair of big breasts, whenever I hold up an arquebus or pull a bow, it's going to be irritating!"
As expected, it's because one of them is experienced, this rapid exchange of words is extremely good, Magoichi starts to raise up her [O].
But, Yoshiharu is worrying, "Such a turn of events isn't good to me at all."
"Wait a minute, Frois. You, just how many times have you hugged Saru with that pair of breasts?"
"Hmmm, I can't count the number of times... There isn't the need to note down all the good deeds that you have done."
"Wait! What is this!? Even I...I...I...I haven't been touched by him! This marvelous pair of breasts, that demonic breast rubbing Saru didn't even look at it, just what is going on?"
"Why is that so, the fact isn't easy to say out, but according to Yoshiharu-san's standards, Nobuna-sama's breasts can still be considered small, isn't that the reason?"
"Damn it! Don't think that you can become arrogant just because you've won! This isn't a joke, you fake sister!"
"Ahh, Nobuna-sama, I'm not a fake sister. It's very obvious that I'm the real stuff?"
"You're fake, FAKE! Isn't using your tits to heal Saru an offense!? It's the fault of this pair of cow-like breasts! Saru was originally quite a fool, but he is even more abnormal due to this pair of boobs!"
"There's nothing bad about it! Because Yoshiharu-san praised them too."
"Is that so!? So the both of you have been flirting around with each other happily, huh? I've had enough, I won't forgive the both of you!"
Is this the tsukomi of a skit, or is this being furious for the real, the flushed Nobuna sliced down with her harisen.
It was closely followed by Frois's trained reflexes as she used her own harisen to block Nobuna's harisen!
Kachak!
It became a heated battle where both parties weren't willing to take a step back.
The crossing of the harisens continued and finally the both of them retreated, leaving a distance of roughly 10 steps.
After this, the fight continued but the result won't be out easily.
"Nobuna-sama? How about we let everyone in the audience seats decide. Decide between big breasts and small breasts, just which is better."
"I got it! Then, who thinks that small but well shaped breasts are better, clap!"
*Applause*, Mitsuhide and Goemon who had already returned to the back stage and Hanbei who had hidden in a corner of the backstage clapped their hands earnestly.
Half of the Oda clan's foot soldiers who are lolicons are,
"Breasts should be flat, that would be perfect~nyaaaa!"
Cheering and clapping.
Most of those damn brats in the Oda clan originally thought, "Flat chests are the best.", but recently due to Yoshiharu who had came from the future, a part of them thought, "Maybe being bigger is not bad?" "Aren't Shibata-sama's breasts quite big too?", so very regrettably, there are only half of those who agreed with Nobuna's view amongst the foot soldiers.
But, the hands of the believers didn't move basically.
Frois is certain of her victory.
"Now then, those who feel that big breasts full of maternal instincts are better, please clap."
*A round of applause~!*
Among the foot soldiers, half of them were shouting, "Follow commander Sagara~nyaaaaa!" "I want to be healed by Frois-sama~nyaaaa!" as they clapped their hands feverishly.
And then, all of the girls in the believers said,
"Compared to the small ones, bigger is better~nya!"
as they clapped their hands supporting Frois.
For example, when the guys were asked, "Is that banana in your pants big or small, choose one of them, what will you choose?" Basically, no one will go with the "Neither big nor small" choice and will choose "big" without any hesitation whatsoever. There isn't any deep meaning, but they just feel that big is better. If it's small, they will feel that they have lost to those "big" fellows. This is the mysterious part among human psychology.
This same thing is happening right now amongst the girls of the believers.
Nobuna... had lost.
This is historically the biggest loss as well as humiliation.
"......Why....Girls with big breasts or something, other than having sore shoulders...... I thought that Saru who loves big breasts is just a fool, but more importantly, even girls think that bigger is better in their hearts.... Uhhhh, so depressing~! I'm not small, not small at all! Compared to Hanbei and the rest, I'm much bigger!"
But, no matter what she said, she couldn't change the fact that she had lost to Frois.
Nobuna let go of her harisen as she knelt down onto the floor as her legs gave way.
The terrifying world's conqueror who was known as Demon lord of the sixth sky, under the impact from the believers, "Your breasts are too small." sat onto the floor with tears flooding her eyes. This pathetic look immediately scored good comments.
The laughter came in waves and enveloped the whole area instantly.
"Nobuna-sama, this is just a joke, don't mind it too much. The skit is a success."
"Shut up! You are better off now, you! Why must I be laughed at alone!?"
"Be....Because, bringing laughter to the people is the job of a skit master...."
"I'm not making people laugh, I'm being laughed at by them! Unforgivable! Those fellows who laughed just now, I must burn them alive! Being a laughingstock and making people laugh are totally two seperate matters!"
"Pl...Please reconsider, Nobuna-sama! This is just a joke! I didn't joke about this expecting this outcome....."
"Ahhh, I see... So you planned to deceive me and make me a laughingstock? Frois... You evil cow, how dare you still act like a holy maiden, ridiculous. I'm cutting off your head right now!"
"Pl...Please don't, Nobuna-sama! Ahh. You took up the harisen....."
"You plan to reiterate? Then what about that teaching "If your right breast is being hit, then you should let your left breast be hit"!?"
"....There isn't such a teaching."
"Youyouyou! I will pin you onto the cross of the namban temple! You should just shoulder the sin of having breasts that are too big and go to heaven now!"
"Please don't say ridiculous things!"
Nobuna once again took the harisen on her hand and swung it at Frois. Automatically, Frois's body reflexively used her own harisen to deflect Nobuna's harisen.
Looking at the violent tsukomi of both of them, the audience gave them huge applauses. Kennya and Magoichi gave a [O] without any hesitation.
Yoshiharu fearfully, "Ahh, Nobuna's anger is gathering more and more" and can only raise an [O].
With this, the gates for entering Honbyo temple were finally opened.
Kennya and Nobuna are finally on the table, going on with the peace talks.
But, just who will Sagara Yoshiharu belong to, this question had not been answered.
Really, can there be a conclusion just by talking? I don't think so.
"It's gonna be bad if I change my name to Sagara Doufun and leave. What should I do?"
Yoshiharu can't think of any good ideas. Because he is in the loop, he can't calmly come up with a decision.
But, though the timid Hanbei didn't enter the skit challenge, but as a smart person, she must have thought up of a good idea right now.
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