Chapter 5 - Studying with Everyone
“Good morning, Fujimiya!”
“Morning.”
The boys who had been in Amane’s study group the day before greeted him breezily the following morning. Incidentally, Mahiru had been in high spirits the whole walk home and the rest of the night after they got back to their apartments.
Amane returned his classmates’ morning greetings with a slight wave and set his bag down at his desk. Itsuki and Yuuta, who had both arrived before Amane, ambled over, smiling. Itsuki seemed to have a touch of Chitose’s wicked scheming about him, and Amane didn’t think it was his imagination.
Predictably, Itsuki’s grin changed to a smug smirk. Amane almost clicked his tongue in irritation.
“How’d yesterday go?” Itsuki asked.
“Nothing really to report. And definitely nothing to warrant that dumb grin.”
“Oh right, you guys had that study session, didn’t you?” Yuuta said. “I had something else to do, so I couldn’t make it. Did anything happen?”
Yuuta hadn’t been there, so he didn’t seem to know the reason behind Itsuki’s smug expression.
Amane didn’t feel like going to the trouble of explaining, so he shrugged and made a face at Itsuki that conveyed mostly annoyance and frustration. “No, not really. We just had a normal, solid study session.”
“Oh, come on…,” Itsuki prodded. “Nothing to say about my brilliant setup?”
“It was none of your business anyway, that’s for sure.”
Amane had been planning to escort Mahiru home (really, since their destinations were basically the same, it would be more accurate to say he was also going home) regardless of whether Itsuki had left first or not. Amane probably wouldn’t have felt so awkward or been so worried about attracting attention, and it would have obviously been more comfortable if Itsuki and Chitose had tagged along.
“I’m fine,” Amane insisted. “I’m making steady progress at my own pace, and I don’t need any encouragement.”
“I’m pushing you because I’m starting to get impatient, though…,” Itsuki whined.
“Shut up. Or I won’t let you copy my notes.”
“Ah! This is where I must withdraw. I shall spare you this time.”
“You’re infuriating.”
Itsuki was the one in trouble, now that exams were drawing near and there was no more time left. Itsuki would probably do fine even without much studying, but he had said himself that it would be impossible for him to pass any of his weak subjects without at least some preparation.
When Amane took the copy of notes out of his file folder and handed them over, he teased, “Victory is mine,” but was doubtful whether Itsuki would study hard once he got home.
Amane went to give copies of his notes to the boys who had greeted him earlier—they had requested them the day before. As thanks, they gave him candy until his hands were full.
“You’re a very caring dude,” Itsuki remarked as Amane returned to his desk carrying heaps of snacks. Itsuki seemed like he was about to launch into a story about Mahiru’s praise for Amane the day before.
Amane could feel his face begin to twitch as he cut Itsuki off—“You didn’t offer me anything, so I just made your copy along with the others.”
Yuuta had been watching with a smile as always, but suddenly he made a disappointed face. “I should have participated yesterday. It sounds like it was pretty fun. I wanted to study with everyone, too.”
“Well, Itsuki had fun messing with me,” Amane said, “but I didn’t have any fun being messed with.”
“This again?”
“Now, now. Itsuki’s teasing comes from a place of love,” Yuuta jested. “Probably. I think.”
“Why must you all doubt me so?”
“He gets sullen sometimes when you tease him too much, and it makes me wonder whether there’s love behind the jokes or not. You’ve got to dial it back at times, you know? Fujimiya will probably forgive you eventually, but you’d better figure out where the line is before you cross it.”
“Yeah, sure, no problem. I know exactly where the line is.”
“This guy pisses me off,” Amane muttered.
Itsuki had never teased Amane to the point of crossing any lines or making him truly angry. Even if Amane pouted a little bit, he was never really offended, and Itsuki always stopped when Amane clapped back in irritation, and he never complained when he got a particularly pointed retort, either. He probably knew where the line was.
Itsuki’s knack at dancing around that line was impressive and a singular point of irritation in Amane’s life.
“Well now, I suppose Itsuki has always been a little…irritating,” Yuuta admitted.
“How can you be so casually cruel, Yuuta? Who knew you were such a harsh critic?”
“I’ve recently decided that I can stand to be a bit harsh with you sometimes.”
“You monster! I protest!”
“Ah-ha-ha!”
Yuuta laughed it off as Itsuki faked a pose of indignation; it was obvious that he wasn’t actually upset. Amane felt satisfied to see Itsuki on the receiving end of the jokes for once, on several levels.
Amane couldn’t hate him, even at times like this, so he secretly had on a wry smile.
“So let’s just set Itsuki aside for a moment…,” Yuuta said.
“Don’t leave me out!” he protested.
“We won’t get anywhere with you jabbering on, Itsuki, so be quiet for a minute. Now, Amane, I’d also like to study together, the three of us. Want to have a study session on Saturday or Sunday?”
Itsuki obediently shut his mouth tight like a certain cartoon rabbit, and Yuuta turned away from him to ask Amane again, “How about it?”
Amane didn’t have anything in particular planned for the weekend, and he figured that with Yuuta there, it would probably be a normal study session, so he was inclined to agree, but then he hesitated.
Amane thought a study session sounded fine, but there was the question of where to hold it.
“…So where would we do it?”
“Ah, my place is out,” Itsuki responded. “My parents will be there, so I think it’ll be awkward, or there might be an unpleasant atmosphere.” Itsuki’s tone was casual, but Amane could tell that his friend was upset about the poor relationship he had with his parents.
“…My house would be fine, I guess, but my older sisters will probably get in our way a little, so I don’t think it’s well-suited for studying,” Yuuta said.
“You’ve got sisters?”
“Yeah, two of them. They’re kind of loud, pushy people, so I think Fujimiya would probably be uncomfortable.”
Amane knew that Yuuta was probably not downplaying it or anything, that his sisters really were those kinds of girls. If he had to guess, Amane got the feeling that they were the type he couldn’t handle, so he thought it best to avoid Yuuta’s house if possible.
That meant Amane’s place would be the most convenient.
Itsuki had been to his apartment many times before, and Amane didn’t have any objections to the idea of Yuuta coming in. At the same time, Amane wasn’t the only person who spent time in that apartment.
Mahiru wasn’t necessarily always in his apartment, but she was kind enough to come over and cook, and they had been studying together a lot recently, so there was a high probability that she would be there over the weekend.
Amane smiled vaguely, thinking that he’d better not bring guests over without getting Mahiru’s permission first.
“Do you think you could ask her about it?” Itsuki asked.
“Ah, sure, I can do that.” Amane nodded. “We can’t just barge in without warning.”
“It is your little love nest, after all.…”
“Seriously, shut your mouth.”
Amane glared at Itsuki, wondering what he would do if they were overheard, but Itsuki had kept his voice low enough, and none of their classmates seemed to be looking their way.
Amane gave an exasperated sigh and cast his eyes downward, thinking of Mahiru, who was not currently in the classroom.
“Hey, Mahiru? I’m going to have a study session at my place with Itsuki and Kadowaki tomorrow morning. Is that all right?”
After dinner, as he was carrying the dishes over to the sink, Amane posed the question to Mahiru, who was carrying the silverware.
Itsuki had said that Saturday was better for his schedule. Amane felt bad about asking at the last minute.
Mahiru blinked dramatically once, then gave him an encouraging look.
“I don’t mind. Should I make food for everyone?”
“Oh, I would feel bad asking you to do so much, but…but I’d be grateful if you could… Is that all right?”
“It’s just a matter of making a bit more. I don’t mind,” she answered casually.
Amane was certain that it would still take a lot of extra labor. She’d probably planned on making lunch for herself anyway, but nevertheless, he wouldn’t be able to thank Mahiru enough for adjusting her plans to match up with his.
“Can I study with you, too?”
“If you want to, the guys said it was fine… Should we call Chitose, too? I don’t know whether she’s free or not, or whether she’s really going to study, but I feel a little anxious about leaving her out.”
Chitose wasn’t very studious. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to study, but Amane certainly wouldn’t call her an academic. Though she had participated in the previous day’s study session, apparently, she hadn’t made much progress, and she had even laughed about how she was going to fail the tests.
“You don’t need to worry about that. I’ve already invited her.”
“Huh?”
“Well, she was saying that she’ll get told off by her father if she doesn’t get a good score, for her anyway, on this round of tests, so just today, I made plans to study with her on Saturday.”
“Maybe joining us was Chitose’s plan all along?”
Amane had a feeling that Itsuki had told Chitose about their study party, but he had no definitive proof. He smiled wryly at the thought of his two meddling friends, convinced that she had gotten her information through Itsuki.
Wishing they had just told him the plan from the start, he quickly rinsed the oily plates in hot water and began washing the dishes. Mahiru giggled a little and started packing the cooled leftovers away in Tupperware.
“Well, whether that was her original aim or not, it looks like it will be a very lively study session, huh?” she remarked.
“Will that be all right for you? If it gets a bit loud?”
“I’ll be fine,” Mahiru insisted. “Besides, I’ve been studying every day, so I’m not that anxious about the tests.”
Mahiru didn’t need to worry, because she worked hard every day, so Amane didn’t really think anything more of it.
Though he did wonder how the group was going to manage to study efficiently.
“Hey, Mahiru, after we’re done, could I look at your notes?”
“Sure, I don’t mind. But you take nice notes too, Amane. They’re popular, I hear.”
“My notes are, sure. I guess because they’re fairly neat. But I’m curious about the notes of the top-ranking student.”
“Don’t get your hopes up because they’re not as good as you’re expecting.”
Mahiru giggled again and put the leftovers in the refrigerator.
They would become Amane’s breakfast the next day, so as he did the washing up, in his mind, he thanked Mahiru. He was able to eat her home cooking not only for dinner, but even for breakfast, improving his daily life, knowing that he was eating healthily every day.
“Amane, you’re studying really hard for these exams, aren’t you?”
“Well, I’d like to improve my confidence in a few areas, and I figure if I’m going to go to the trouble of studying, I should really work hard at it. I’d like to score in the top ten.”
“Is that so…? All right, then how about I give you a little motivation, then?”
“Motivation?”
“If you do make it into the top ten, I’ll do anything you ask.”
“…Huh?”
Amane froze for a second and nearly dropped the plate he was holding into the sink. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.
Almost breaking one of Mahiru’s favorite plates brought Amane back to his senses, and he took a deep breath.
Then he glanced over beside him and saw Mahiru, wearing her usual placid smile, snapping the lid onto one of the containers.
“I said before that I would do basically anything if you just asked, but I figure this time, we can make it a real prize. I’ll grant you any wish, even something you would never normally ask, okay?”
“…Girls shouldn’t say things like that.”
“Oh, are you going to ask me to do something dangerous?”
Though she must have been entirely aware that Amane would never do any such thing, Mahiru tilted her head teasingly as she asked, and Amane couldn’t help but frown. She seemed confident that there would be no great danger in anything that Amane might request.
When Amane stared at Mahiru, she gave him a bemused smile and bounced over to stand beside him. He couldn’t tell whether it was his imagination, but a hopeful look seemed to have flashed across her face.
“…Supposing I did ask for something dangerous, what would you do?”
“Well, that would depend on what it was, but I think…I would admire your chivalry and probably grant your wish.”
It sounded like Mahiru did mean to fulfill Amane’s request. Of course, that was probably because she was sure that he wouldn’t force her to do anything unreasonable. Amane felt somewhat conflicted.
He didn’t want to force her to do anything she didn’t want to, but hearing the girl he liked tell him that she would do anything he wanted gave him all sorts of wild ideas—none of which he could say out loud.
He took a quick look at Mahiru and saw her smiling as if to say she was ready for anything. She looked so innocent. Amane felt skewered by his own wretchedness.
“…All right, I want you to let me lie in your lap, like you did before.”
Amane just barely held it together. After some deliberation, he made up his mind and asked for something that he knew Mahiru was likely to agree to, and that he would in general never request.
He wanted to experience that pleasant feeling one more time. It didn’t seem like an outrageous request, and Amane figured he could keep ahold of himself.
The moment he said it, Amane felt miserably embarrassed at his own request. Mahiru looked back at him, blinking repeatedly, and stared at Amane’s face.
Then, with an adorable, bashful look, she answered, “Okay by me. I’ll throw in an ear cleaning for you, so prepare to be pampered.”
She puffed out her chest, looking like she had no doubt Amane would make it into the top ten.
“We’re here!”
The Saturday before the tests, as planned, Itsuki, Chitose, and Yuuta showed up around ten in the morning, called out a greeting in unison from the doorway, and shuffled over the threshold.
Apparently, the three of them had grown up in the same neighborhood, and it had been convenient for them to meet up before coming over. They met up first also because Yuuta didn’t know where Amane’s apartment was, but the main reason was probably because they were already good friends.
Amane welcomed them. “Great, come on in.”
“Where’s Mahiru?” Chitose asked.
“In the kitchen, getting lunch ready.”
So that they didn’t have to worry about their midday meal, Mahiru had come over to Amane’s apartment ahead of time to prepare it. She had made a trip to a supermarket that opened early in the morning to buy the ingredients.
She was making roast beef and wanted to let it slowly cook so that by lunch, it would be just the right tenderness and ready to eat.
“…You two are getting awfully comfortable…,” Itsuki whispered.
“Shut up.”
“You guys are like a newlyweds, welcoming your colleagues over for a meal.”
“One more word, and you won’t get any lunch,” Amane threatened.
“No way! I’m eating Mahiru’s cooking!”
Warning Itsuki to keep his mischief to a minimum, Amane looked over at Yuuta, who was staring at him, slightly astonished.
“What’s up, Yuuta?”
“…It’s just, Shiina seems so at home here in your apartment, Fujimiya,” he replied.
“…It’d almost be weirder if she wasn’t,” Amane grumbled. “…Since she’s always making food for me.”
Amane turned away abruptly and saw Itsuki grinning with his hands over his mouth. It reminded him of the way his mother smiled, which made him angry, and he kicked Itsuki lightly in the shin.
“Welcome, everyone…,” Mahiru said as she emerged from the kitchen. “Oh, Akazawa, what happened?”
Amane scoffed. “Don’t worry about him.”
Mahiru looked worried about Itsuki, who seemed to be wearing a mysterious smile. It wasn’t anything she needed to worry about, and Amane wished she would just ignore it.
Mahiru seemed to conclude that Itsuki’s expression was nothing to be concerned about, so even though she still looked curious, she put on her usual smile and returned to the kitchen with a flutter of her apron. “I’ve got a little more preparation to do in there, so please go ahead into the living room.”
Watching her leave, Itsuki mumbled, “She is absolutely brimming with just-married wife energy.” This time, Amane slapped him on the back.
They waited for Mahiru to finish her work in the kitchen, and after she was done, she brought out tea. “Well, should we get to studying?” she asked, taking a seat next to Amane. The other three had made sure to leave that spot open.
“Yeah!”
“All right, what parts don’t you understand, Chitose? We covered English yesterday and were planning to work on math today, right?”
“Everything,” Chitose replied.
Mahiru balked. “E-everything…?”
“Chi is not very good at math,” Itsuki commented. “She barely avoided failing last time.”
Chitose wasn’t completely hopeless, but that was her weakest subject, and she announced after every test that only divine intervention had kept her from failing.
The word “everything” caused Mahiru’s cheek to twitch slightly, but since math was Chitose’s weakness, there really was no helping it. They would be lucky if she managed to understand the basics.
“She has a hard time with applied problems, so the best thing would be to show her how to use the formulas with each exercise, I think,” Itsuki said.
“Is she all right on the formulas?” Mahiru asked Itsuki.
“…You’re okay there, right?” Itsuki asked Chitose.
“Probably.” Chitose nodded.
Amane got the feeling that Chitose was not actually okay, and that Mahiru had her work cut out for her. Chitose wasn’t exactly dumb; she just couldn’t solve the problems because she didn’t know how to use the formulas. So as long as she learned how, she ought to be able to get a decent score, for her anyway.
“You almost seem motivated now, Itsuki,” Amane observed.
“Ha-ha-ha!”
“Don’t try to laugh it off; get to studying.”
Why do you think we organized this study session? Amane thought to himself.
“Yuuutaaa, Amane’s being mean!” Itsuki whined playfully.
“You’d better shape up soon, then.”
With a bright smile, Yuuta refused to rescue Itsuki, who let his shoulders droop dejectedly.
Yuuta himself had already studiously opened his textbook and notebook to get started. Amane wished that Itsuki and Chitose would follow his example.
Yuuta didn’t seem to have any particularly weak subjects. He was an outstanding student who had above-average scores across the board.
Amane also wasn’t worried about any subject in particular—all he had left was to polish up his memorization and application skills.
He entrusted the task of tutoring Chitose to Mahiru and lowered his gaze to the world history textbook that he had set out for himself.
Amane and the others continued studying after lunch, but eventually, around mid-afternoon, Chitose seemed to reach the limits of her concentration and leaned back in her chair. “I’m exhausted! Hey, Amane, could we play a video game?”
“You’re free to play if you want, but I can’t make any promises about your grades…”
“Geez, you’re so strict.”
“It’s because you never just play a little bit. If you think you can control yourself, then I suppose you can go ahead,” he replied while solving a workbook problem, signaling that he was going to continue studying. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Chitose puff out her cheeks a little.
Amane had predicted it was only a matter of time before Chitose got bored of studying, an activity he knew she hated. That was why he had put four controllers and several games beside the console in his TV stand.
A human’s attention span can only last so long, so he figured it wouldn’t be so bad for his friends to play and take a breather.
On the other hand, Amane had no problem studying some more. Since they started, he took a short break every hour, and in the first place, he didn’t mind studying. He could keep going for quite a long time if he wanted to.
“You’re no fun, Amane!” Chitose huffed.
“This is supposed to be a study party, right? I guess it’s fine if you really want to play. I’ve got four controllers, so how about you take a short break?”
“Okay, I’ll accept your offer, but…you shouldn’t push yourself too hard, okay?”
“I’ve been taking breaks.”
“What a dedicated student! You’ve always been so serious, Amane. All right, then, I’m gonna game. Let’s play, Itsuki.”
“Yeah, sure. But we can’t waste all of our time.”
Amane was not surprised that Itsuki also seemed tired after the three or so hours of studying and was keen to play a game.
“Wanna join, Yuuta?” he asked.
“Sure, why not? Is it all right, Fujimiya?”
“Mmm.” Amane nodded.
Even Yuuta, who was more serious about his studies than Itsuki or Chitose, was showing interest in taking a short break. Amane confirmed that Yuuta was free to join the others, then looked back down at his workbook.
Beside him, Mahiru was quietly working on solving a set of problems. She was as focused as before and showed no signs of stopping.
“You’re not going to play, Mahiru?” he asked her.
“I’m going to study a little more,” Mahiru replied.
“I see.”
Amane had vowed to start taking his studies seriously, which was the only reason he wasn’t stopping, but Mahiru had a natural affinity for studying, and he couldn’t help but admire her diligence.
She’d probably continue ranking first place on the exams since she never failed to put in the effort—that dedication was just another reason why Mahiru was so incredible.
After watching the other three excitedly get up from the table and start taking up positions in front of the television, Amane put them out of his mind and went back to work. He could hear pencil lead scratching against paper, the sound of the eraser rubbing out the marks, and, very clearly, the sound of Mahiru’s breathing at his side.
While listening half-heartedly to the animated voices of his friends nearby, Amane focused on remembering which questions the teachers tended to choose for exams. Several of his teachers had been teaching him since his first year of high school, and he knew that those teachers’ tests were relatively easy. And from their personalities and the way they conducted their classes, he could guess what sections of the material they would pull from, especially since he remembered their style from the previous year. Amane felt pretty certain that he could predict what they would put on their tests.
He had even told Chitose about which sections of the textbook the test questions would most likely cover. It was just a calculated guess, but he had never been wrong before, so if she prioritized those areas when she studied, she would probably at least avoid failing.
“Amane, here.”
While he was solving problems in silence, Mahiru had stood up unnoticed, and now she set a cup of coffee down in front of him.
He smiled at the beverage, which he guessed had one small sugar cube and a single portion of milk stirred in.
“The usual is all right, yeah?”
“Mm. Thank you.”
They had been spending time together for half a year, so they had gotten to know each other’s tastes.
Feeling grateful toward Mahiru, who had brought the coffee over right when he started to get a craving, Amane wrapped his fingers around the mug handle, then realized that she had also placed a small plate before him.
“What’s this?”
“A financier. I baked them yesterday, thinking we would need some sugar to fuel our brains.”
On the little plate sat one bite-sized financier, baked to a perfect golden brown. A toothpick stuck out of the top of the small cake, so that he could pick it up without getting his fingers dirty. Mahiru had probably made them bite-size so that they could be enjoyed in the spare moments between studying.
Mahiru had also dutifully set out cakes for Itsuki and the others still playing the video game. Theirs were slightly larger and served on plates that sat together on a platter.
Mahiru had also prepared coffee for the three of them, but the milk and sugar were self-serve, with sugar packets and little pots of cream laid out on the platter.
With a smile, she quietly approached the gamers and set the tray down on a table nearby. “You should all have some, too.”
“Wow! Thank you, Mahiru!”
“Oh, snacks! Perfect timing, too. Thank you, Shiina.”
“It’s nothing, really.”
Mahiru returned to the table, gazing happily at the trio now enjoying their snack time, and Amane felt his lips curling into a smile as well.
“…I sort of feel like I made you prepare a lot of stuff.”
“No, I did it because I wanted to,” Mahiru insisted. “And I did everything in between studying, so it was a good way to take breaks.”
“You’re the type of person who always goes all out, seriously.”
“…I just use my time on the people I want to use it on.”
Amane felt a hot lump rising up in his throat when she mumbled these words in a quiet voice.
He washed it down with a swig of coffee. Mahiru hadn’t added any extra sugar, but it somehow seemed particularly sweet.
The sweetness wasn’t unpleasant, and he wasn’t sure how he should respond to what Mahiru had said, so Amane stared back down at his workbook, to fool himself into thinking he had nothing to say.
In the end, the gaming tournament lasted well into the evening.
Amane eventually took a break from his studies and joined in, too, when he found that he could no longer focus. Except it wasn’t just the fatigue of hours of study that affected Amane’s concentration.
What did she mean, she uses her energy on the people she wants to use it on?
Amane had been replaying Mahiru’s quiet murmuring over and over again in his head. He had always known that Mahiru did things for the people she liked, but when she put it that way, it sounded like she held some special affection for Amane.
Amane certainly thought that Mahiru liked him, but his understanding was that it wasn’t in a romantic way.
The way she’d said that made him wonder if she was doing everything because she liked him, not as a friend… His mind was running wild with the idea.
I mean, I would understand if she was doing all this work because I’m such a failure of a human being, and she felt like she just had to step in, but…
In fact, Amane was bad enough at housework that he couldn’t rule out the possibility. He could survive on his own, if he really tried, but he did rely on Mahiru a lot.
He couldn’t decide whether Mahiru just wanted to look after him, or whether she was being overly caring because she was into him. Given his feelings for her, Amane would have liked to imagine that it was the latter, and he didn’t think that it was completely hopeless. However, he still had serious doubts about whether he was the kind of person Mahiru could ever actually love.
“…Amane? You fell out of the ring.”
“Huh…?”
Amane had gotten lost in thought in the middle of a game, and unknowingly let his character go out of bounds. Since he didn’t have any more lives left, he was knocked out of the game.
A close match unfolded between Itsuki, Chitose, and Yuuta. Amane hadn’t expected Yuuta to be so good at video games.
Normally, Amane would never make such an obvious mistake. That was how distracted he was by Mahiru’s comment.
“Your concentration must really be shot from studying, Amane. You’re spaced out.”
“…Must be,” Amane agreed. “Mahiru, you want in on the next game?”
“No, I’ve got to get dinner ready soon, so…”
Mahiru glanced at the clock, and when Amane followed her gaze, he saw that it was just short of seven o’clock. It was probably a little bit late to start dinner preparations.
“Oh, she’s right, it’s already so late… I’ve got to get going. I can’t stay over, after all,” Chitose said.
“Yeah, I’m sure you would have liked to stay at Shiina’s place, Chi, but we didn’t bring you a change of clothes or anything. Plus, you didn’t ask, and I doubt you would fit into any of her clothes, after all…”
“Tell me, my darling Itsuki, just what do you mean by that?”
“I’m talking about your heights, of course, yes.”
Mahiru giggled as she watched the couple cheerfully bicker, as they always did. “Come over and stay next time.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. As long as you tell me ahead of time.”
“Well then, I’ll stay over at Amane’s at the same time,” Itsuki added.
Amane frowned. “I have a feeling you’re just angling for a meal…”
“You got me. Her cooking is just too delicious!” Itsuki laughed, with no ill intent.
With a sigh, Amane told him, “You know you’ve got to ask Mahiru, right?”
Mahiru would be the one who had to make all the extra food, so Amane couldn’t very well volunteer her.
If she didn’t agree, then the boys could eat out or get convenience store food, which would feel more like a party anyway, so it wouldn’t be the worst thing.
Mahiru nodded her approval with a smile, and Amane had a feeling Chitose and Itsuki would be staying over soon.
“Will Kadowaki be coming next time, too?” Mahiru asked.
“Oh, could I?”
“Well…,” Amane began.
“If you come, let’s have a ‘kick Amane’s butt into gear’ party!” Itsuki interrupted.
“Hey, where do you get off planning weird parties?”
“Come on, how ’bout it?”
Amane’s cheek twitched as Itsuki put on a broad grin. Yuuta was taken aback for a moment but then smiled with relief.
“Hey, Mahiru? …What did you mean when you said that you use your energy on the people you want to use it on?”
While they were standing in the entryway after seeing everybody else off, Amane falteringly asked her the question that had been weighing on his mind all evening.
He had been wavering over whether to ask her about it, but he had been grumbling about not knowing what to do as Itsuki left, and Itsuki had given him a little kick and said, “Don’t worry about it, man, just ask.”
Amane hadn’t been expecting a literal “kick in the butt,” so he’d smacked Itsuki in retaliation. Itsuki hadn’t seemed particularly likely to learn his lesson, so it had felt like a futile gesture.
Mahiru blinked at Amane. Slowly, the corners of her mouth curled into a smile. “…What do you think I meant?”
“Like, that you can’t let this useless guy out of your sight for a minute?”
Amane was too self-conscious to say anything rash, as he didn’t want to come off as arrogant.
“Heh-heh, well, that’s true. I’m afraid to take my eye off you. If I wasn’t here, you’d really be in trouble.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
Mahiru truly did take extremely good care of him. If she wasn’t around, Amane would never be able to maintain his current lifestyle.
“…It’s fine, you know? I like taking care of you, Amane.”
“I’d let myself go to pieces…without you, I’d fall apart and wither away…”
“Heh-heh.”
The frightening thing about Mahiru was that Amane knew that if she left, his whole life would become an emotional wreck.
In several senses, he had become something like her prisoner. It would be impossible for him to leave her—and he didn’t want to. Needless to say, the main reason was because he was in love with her.
If he were to confess his feelings and be rejected, he was sure he would feel like death, emotionally and physically. Amane laughed at himself but didn’t tell her that was why he hadn’t been able to move forward.
Mahiru stepped toward him, inexplicably. She didn’t press up against him, but she was close enough that they were just lightly touching. She drew close to Amane until she was right in front of him and looked up—then with her index finger, she traced the outline of his lips.
“…I’m going to spoil you as much as I like, so just relax and enjoy it, okay?”
Mahiru narrowed her eyes impishly at Amane. He realized he’d forgotten how to breathe.
Mahiru was wearing a smile he had never seen before. It was sweet, yet provocative…even enchanting. It could even be called devilish and was enough to bewitch anyone. Amane could feel it tugging at his emotions.
He could also feel his heart pounding and the blood rushing through his veins.
Amane had seen many of Mahiru’s smiles, from her beautiful angelic one, to a subtle, vanishing smirk, to a cherubic grin, but she had never given him such a flirtatious look before.
She gazed with satisfaction at Amane, still frozen in place, then reverted to her usual smile as she headed for the kitchen. “Well, I’m going to go make dinner.”
Amane watched her go, cheeks burning.
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