Chapter 4 - Studying with the Angel
Things between Amane and Mahiru seemed to be back to normal the following day, and Chitose and Itsuki appeared relieved—apparently, they had been quite concerned. Amane’s behavior had only changed slightly, but it must have been enough for them to notice.
The events of the previous day weighed heavily on Amane’s mind, but he wasn’t acting as awkwardly with Mahiru anymore. There were still some things that were bothering him, but as long as they were in school, he couldn’t say a word about them.
Mahiru was giving everyone her usual angelic smile. She was currently surrounded by female classmates pestering her to teach them how to study.
Midterms were starting next week, and the girls must have wanted Mahiru, the top genius in the grade, to be their tutor. There was a touch of bewilderment mixed into Mahiru’s gentle smile.
“I don’t mind helping you all prepare for the tests, but I might not have enough room to host everyone…”
Thinking this wasn’t going to be good, Amane pricked up his ears to listen in. It seemed that the girls who wanted to study with Mahiru hoped they could do it at her place. They were probably curious to see what her apartment was like.
That would be a problem, since Mahiru is such a private person.
Although they weren’t strangers, they weren’t exactly friends, either, not like Chitose was. It would be very difficult for Mahiru to let them into her home.
From Amane’s perspective, too, he didn’t want them coming around where he lived if it could be avoided, just in case they caught wind of anything. He could just imagine the girls prying into every detail, while he endured resentment from the boys.
“Ah, no fair, no fair! I want help, too!”
“Me toooo!”
Then, other girls who had overheard the conversation put their hands up as well, and Mahiru was understandably wearing a troubled expression. Clearly there was no way so many people could fit in her apartment.
To make matters worse, the boys were looking over enviously.
“…Um, we could study together for an hour or two in the classroom after school today,” Mahiru suggested, as a compromise. Their classroom had plenty of space. Despite that, there didn’t seem to be an end to the chorus of voices asking to join. Club activities were paused during exams, so it was probably much easier for people to gather than usual.
As he listened to the loud shouts of his classmates from across the room, Amane couldn’t help but feel bad for Mahiru.
With a strangely cheerful grin, Itsuki prodded Amane. “You’re not going to take part?”
“Would there be any point?” he replied. “I already know everything that’s going to be on the tests, and even if I didn’t, with so many people, there won’t be much time for everyone’s questions anyway. Trust me, I’m better off studying on my own.”
“Well, I certainly must commend your discipline, Amane, but I think we’d better join this study session anyway. It’s a matter of motivation.”
“I’ve always liked studying, so my motivation has always been—”
“Not yours, hers.”
Amane looked over at Mahiru, making plans for a study session with more than half the class. It was obvious that she was going to have a hard time with so many people. She would probably feel better with a friend in the room. Finally, it began to dawn on Amane that he ought to attend, whether or not he felt the need to.
“…Even though there’s not really anything for her to teach me?” he asked.
“It’ll be fine,” Itsuki insisted. “Look, you can tutor me. See, Chitose is going to join in, so I was gonna be stuck waiting for her anyway. There’s no harm in studying a little while I’m there, eh?”
“Teaching other people is not my strong point…”
“Well, sure, the way you talk is can be a bit unfriendly, and you’re not exactly the type to patiently explain things…but you wouldn’t just let me fail, right?”
Amane faltered in the face of Itsuki’s confident voice and gaze.
“I’m countin’ on you, pal!” Itsuki cackled and clapped Amane on the shoulder.
Amane gave up on turning him down and just nodded.
Usually, after class ended, a handful of students might hang around for a while. But that day, there was a bustle of activity that was truly rare to see.
The desks, which had been neatly arranged during cleaning time, were now pushed together to form several clusters, and students assembled themselves with their groups of friends. Even the boys from class joined, which meant there were six times as many people as there should have been.
Amane sat facing Itsuki in the seat farthest away from Mahiru.
“…I can’t be very much help like this, can I?” he whispered.
“I’m ready to learn, teacher!” Itsuki replied.
“…Wouldn’t we be better off at home?”
“I’m just here to study while I wait for Chi. Besides, she’s going to be late getting home, and you wouldn’t want to leave her on her own, right?”
Amane narrowed his eyes at Itsuki, who was giving him a pointed look, but Itsuki just laughed.
Mahiru usually tried to get home before dark if she could, but because of the study session, she was sure to be late. Mahiru was a very cautious person and even carried a personal safety alarm around with her, but Itsuki was right, it probably wouldn’t be good to let her go back alone in the dark.
On the other hand, Amane couldn’t possibly walk her home with all their classmates watching, so he would have to keep his distance and stealthily watch over her as they walked.
“You don’t seem to see this for the opportunity it is, Amane…”
“What, you want me to turn into some sort of predator now? That’s not me, and personally, I have a problem with the idea of taking advantage of someone’s carelessness to make a move.”
“That attitude of yours must be how you’ve gained her trust. Well, you guys will be heading back to the same place, so I guess there’s no point trying anything on the way anyhow. It’s not like you won’t have plenty of chances to make your move.”
“It’s not like I would anyway! If I made her hate me, or made her cry, I’d die.”
Mahiru left him plenty of openings, since she let him inside her defenses. Even so, Amane had never considered seizing one of those chances to try anything. Rather, he had always warned her about letting her guard down.
If he tried anything with Mahiru when she was being careless because of her trust in him, their happy relationship could very well disappear. Amane didn’t want to lose her trust, or his dignity.
Itsuki knew what his friend was like. He shrugged in a slightly exasperated manner, but Amane paid him no attention and opened his textbook to the material that would be covered on the exams.
“Look, I’m all good here, so why don’t you tell me where we should start? I don’t have trouble with anything, which means it’s up to you to point out the sections you don’t understand if you want to get anything done.” Amane drummed his fingers on the pages and pressed his friend for an answer.
“Dodging the issue, huh?” Itsuki grinned and opened his own book.
Itsuki wasn’t stupid or anything—in fact, he was quite capable. He had a good understanding of his own abilities and was the type who could produce good results with minimal effort. He just found studying a bore and goofed off a lot to annoy his parents. Fundamentally, he had an earnest disposition.
Amane had heard that in middle school, Itsuki had been an honors student, but when he’d started hanging out with Chitose, it apparently caused some trouble at home and kicked off his rebellious phase.
“I seriously do not understand English sentences,” Itsuki complained.
“Maybe you should start by memorizing the vocabulary… For now, you can begin with the words and sentences that are sure to show up on the test. You slept through the class when the teacher went over the exam material, but he did tell us what to expect.” Itsuki rarely skipped class, but he often fell asleep. Amane poked him in the forehead and continued.
“For the time being, I’ll make another copy of my notes for you. There’s a limit to how much you can cram for the long reading comprehension section. Basically, at this point, it’s probably impossible to learn it all. Don’t worry about doing it perfectly, but just try not to miss the vocabulary and multiple-choice questions. As long as you know at least a little bit, on most multiple-choice questions you can narrow it down to two answers, so we should work on getting you to where you can reliably pick the correct one out of the two. Let’s place the most emphasis on scoring attainable points. You’re just barely passing English, right?”
“Whew, you’re a lifesaver, man! I’ll thank you later by giving you a push in the right direction.”
“I do not need you to do that. It’s none of your concern.”
Amane wanted to progress slowly in his relationship with Mahiru, in his own way, so if Itsuki pushed him too hard, he was liable to resist out of spite.
Itsuki met his friend’s refusal with a frustrated look, but Amane wasn’t inclined to change his opinion.
Before he could worry about progressing in their relationship, Amane wanted to improve himself enough that he would feel confident about being with Mahiru. To do that, he needed to prioritize his studies.
Itsuki seemed like he was about to say something else, but Amane ignored him, and once he had counted the number of pages in the notebook he was going to copy, he slammed it shut. “Good grief,” Amane said as he picked up his mechanical pencil.
Itsuki assumed a studying posture, and with quiet relief, Amane glanced over in Mahiru’s direction.
Just like always, she was smiling as she kindly explained the material to her classmates. As he watched her circulate busily through the room, smiling at everyone equally, Amane thought to himself that being the campus angel must be a tough role to play.
“Why can’t I get the answer here?”
“Use the formula.”
“I’m using it, but I’m not getting the answer!”
Chitose’s group was studying together while chatting happily, and their cluster of desks was especially lively. However, a different group of boys seemed to be in trouble.
Even Mahiru wasn’t able to follow up with every single person, and depending on each individual’s ability to comprehend the material, it could take time to teach them. On top of that, Mahiru kept getting called over by the rowdiest students, so even though she was trying to help those classmates who weren’t incessantly demanding her attention, she couldn’t avoid getting pulled this way and that.
Amane hesitated for a moment over what to do, then stood up from his seat.
He walked over to the classmates who were frowning in frustration and looked over their shoulders to check the part in the text and the equation that was tripping them up. Then he slowly pointed to the relevant section in the textbook.
His classmates looked up at him, seemingly surprised by his sudden appearance, but Amane turned a blind eye to their stares and walked them through the problem.
In this group’s case, they were simply using the wrong formula to solve the question, so it was easy to sort things out once Amane pointed out the issue that was giving them trouble.
Amane felt relieved that they had accepted his help despite his abrupt intrusion. He made eye contact with the boy sitting across from him, who was blinking repeatedly.
“I’m not Shiina, but it looks like she has her hands full. Sorry for butting in.”
“…No, I’m grateful for the help,” the boy said. “But I didn’t expect you to come over and say something, Fujimiya.”
“Well, you looked like you were having trouble,” Amane responded.
He found it almost darkly comical just how cold and unfriendly everyone always assumed he was, but he knew it was true that he could be unsociable and downright gloomy, so he couldn’t deny it.
Amane was turning to leave with an awkward smile when the classmate across from him asked, “So what about this one?” and showed Amane another problem he couldn’t work out.
Since he was there already, Amane demonstrated how to solve that question, too.
The other boys all looked at each other, then for some reason, over at Itsuki.
“Hey, Itsuki! Can we borrow Fujimiya?”
“Well, he’s mine, but I guess there’s no helping it.” Itsuki grinned.
“Since when did I become yours?”
Amane feigned offense at Itsuki’s comment. He noticed that his friend was cheerfully pushing their two desks over to the boys in the study group. Amane was shocked at how quickly Itsuki joined them.
He didn’t really mind, but he wished Itsuki had asked his permission first.
Amane sighed and sat back down in his own seat, which had been integrated into the new group. As he did, he kicked Itsuki lightly below the desks.
“Just so you know, I’m not that good at teaching,” he stated.
“Well, thanks even so,” one of the boys said. “Miss Angel looks busy over there.”
“We all joined in at the last minute,” another added, “so Shiina can’t make it around to everyone on her own.”
They were staring longingly at the group that Mahiru was tutoring, but it wasn’t exactly envy in their eyes. They simply looked disappointed.
“We decided to come because it sounded fun, figuring we’d be lucky to receive any help, so getting help from Fujimiya is fine with us.”
“Well, ideally the angel, ’cause she’s cute and I’d be happier, but…”
“Well, don’t expect me to be cute,” Amane said, smiling wryly. “So show me the part you don’t understand…?”
Amane prided himself on not having an ounce of cuteness to him. As a fellow guy, though, he understood what the others were trying to say. Who wouldn’t prefer to be tutored by a friendly and intelligent girl like Mahiru, rather than an unsociable guy like him? Anybody would have been happier with her.
Amane shrugged, then asked them where they needed help and explained the material to them.
Fortunately, Amane was able to explain all the problems, and since the other students had asked for his help, they tackled the material earnestly and came to understand it fairly quickly.
Even Itsuki joined in with the other four students, asking questions and solving example problems. It was hard enough for Amane to handle four additional people, so things must have been even more difficult for Mahiru.
With that thought, Amane looked over in her direction and saw her answering questions for the neighboring group.
However, none of the questions were related to the exam material.
“…Do I have a type?”
Mahiru pondered the question curiously as the girls who had asked looked at her with keen interest.
The girls seemed to have changed tactics on Mahiru, who had been stubbornly refusing to reveal anything about the boy she had mentioned. Now they were trying to gather information indirectly on what kind of person he might be. Mahiru had never stated outright whether the mystery boy was her boyfriend or someone she liked, but even so, as one might expect, they all seemed to assume that she was interested in him.
The girls hadn’t asked their question very loudly, but the surrounding groups still overheard it, and all the students in the classroom strained their ears for the answer, even as they continued working on their own practice problems.
“Let me think…,” Mahiru said. “In terms of absolute requirements, I suppose he would have to be a kind and honest person. I don’t like dishonest people at all.”
“And what about appearance?”
“I think what’s inside is more important, so I’m not too particular about looks,” Mahiru replied. “…But someone who keeps themselves tidy would be good.”
The answer that she gave, with a tender smile and look in her eye, was more about the kind of person she preferred than the kind of boy she liked, giving the impression that she was evading the question.
The girls who had asked the question must have also felt that she was being vague, and they stared at Mahiru with a hint of disappointment on their faces. Mahiru smiled back at them as always, but this time, it was tinged with bitterness.
“When I think about what else might be important, I guess…someone whose values match mine?”
“Values? Not hobbies and stuff?”
“Yes, values.” Mahiru nodded. “I doubt they will ever match up perfectly, so I’m not expecting that, but I think it’s important that we respect each other’s values, even if they don’t align. Someone who would never force their point of view, or try to change their partner… Yes, someone who appreciates their partner’s ideas would be good. It would probably be best if it was someone who saw things the same way, but I like people who stand by their partner and accept their beliefs, even if they can’t.”
Mahiru brought her speech to a finish with a gentle smile, and her gaze darted over to Amane for just a second.
He reflexively averted his eyes, and Mahiru returned her focus to the group of girls with no change in her expression.
Amane knew that the people around him would start to notice if he stared at Mahiru any longer, so he lowered his gaze to the notebook in his hands. But then he heard a quiet chuckle from beside him, from someone who had been watching his behavior.
“And that’s that, ladies and gentlemen.”
Itsuki had observed while everyone else had abruptly stopped working. The boys Itsuki and Amane were studying with seemed to realize what was going on, and they quickly went back to their own notebooks in an attempt to feign ignorance.
Amane was turning pages and applying sticky notes as if nothing had happened, as he mulled over the idea of matching values.
Mahiru was the type of person who could never date anyone casually, and if she was with someone for a long time, she would probably be thinking about settling down with them. That meant it was important that whoever she chose didn’t make things difficult for her.
“The angel has a really mature way of thinking about things, huh?” one of the other boys commented.
“Well, I think Shiina’s got a point,” Amane mumbled. When everyone turned to look at him, he gave a strained smile. “It would be hard to spend time with somebody if their values didn’t align with yours, and everyone wants to have someone by their side who accepts them, right? Even if you tried to get along with someone who held different values, eventually it would put too much stress on the relationship, and you’d break up. I think that logically, taking that into account from the start is better.”
Things would be even worse if your partner was the kind of person who couldn’t tolerate differing opinions. The resulting stress would obviously hurt the relationship. So when it comes to dating someone with incompatible beliefs, it’d be best not to even bother.
“You’ve got a strict way of thinking about it… I can’t even imagine what your type is, Fujimiya.”
Amane shrugged. “Well, like everyone else, I’d prefer someone kind.”
“That’s such a vague answer! There’s no other criteria?”
“I don’t know what to say,” he replied. “…Assuming that I get along with her, I think I’d like a girl who’s gentle and sensible.”
“By that standard, you would like most girls.”
“Oh, shut up. Do you have some sort of problem with that?”
“It’s not that I have a problem, but it just feels like a very common opinion.”
“…All right, how about I say that whatever girl I fall for will be my preferred type? Whoever I like is my type at that moment.”
Amane was afraid that if he gave too many specifics, he would end up revealing who he liked, so he kept his answers as vague as possible to arousing any suspicion. From behind him, he heard someone let out a small giggle.
“What an unexpectedly sweet thing for you to say.”
His body stiffened at the sound of a familiar voice.
Amane wanted to ask her why she was over here and what exactly she had heard, but Mahiru coming over to his group wasn’t particularly strange, nor was it weird that she would overhear what he said once she got close, so he swallowed his protests.
Keeping a stony expression so as not to betray his feelings, Amane didn’t even look in Mahiru’s direction as he responded, “Sorry.”
Amane knew that it didn’t give a very good impression to be so blunt with the class angel, but since he already had a reputation for being unsociable, nobody acted especially surprised.
“Shiina…”
“I’m sorry for showing up so late. I haven’t been able to come over here much, but…are there any parts that you’re having trouble understanding?”
Mahiru had finally finished up on the other side of the room and made her way over to check on Amane’s group. She sounded quite apologetic. Amane didn’t know whether she was standing next to him on purpose or not, but it wasn’t good for his heart.
After the boys all looked at each other, one of them spoke up, looking sheepish.
“Uh, actually, we got Fujimiya to tutor us. We should be the ones apologizing, for joining your study session so suddenly.”
“Oh, no, it’s all right. It’s my fault, really, for agreeing to tutor so many people without thinking about how much I can handle. I just couldn’t keep up with everyone. But I’m relieved to hear that you got help from Fujimiya.” She gave him a friendly smile and added, “Studying is one of Fujimiya’s strong points.”
Amane felt extremely uncomfortable, but he didn’t show his discomfort. “I am honored by the compliment,” he replied stoically.
Immediately after he said it, he looked up apologetically at Mahiru, worried that his comment might have sounded sarcastic, but Mahiru met his eyes with a smile and an affectionate look, as if to say that she understood everything.
“Fujimiya is very helpful and good at teaching, you know,” Mahiru insisted.
“I…uh…I wouldn’t really say that…,” Amane stammered.
“Oh, and what would you call this? Plus, it’s easy to see the way you support Chitose and Akazawa, too. You act cold, but you’re always watching out for them, right? You extend your hand as soon as you see someone’s in trouble.”
Amane scowled when she said that it was “easy to see” him doing that, with such a gentle expression on her face.
Mahiru did sometimes compliment Amane, but he never expected her to say something like that or praise him in a place like this. His eyes began to dart nervously around the room.
“He’s blushing, he’s blushing!” Itsuki jeered.
“Shut up, Itsuki… It’s totally normal to support your friends.”
Mahiru smiled fondly at him. “I’m glad that it’s become a normal thing for you.”
Finally, Amane couldn’t endure it any longer, and he turned away.
Under the desk, Itsuki kicked him lightly with the toe of his shoe, as if urging Amane on toward something.
As the study session concluded, Amane rolled his shoulders gently to loosen up the stiffness that had gradually accumulated there.
Mahiru was looking at him with her usual smile and a hint of deep affection—it was a look only someone close to her would recognize. Itsuki had noticed and started pestering Amane secretly under the desk again. The boys in their study group had also gotten used to Amane’s presence and chatted openly with him as well.
For better or worse, Amane was exhausted. It was a good thing to have made some friendly acquaintances, but it was somewhat difficult to do anything at all with Mahiru there.
The other boys were finished studying too and returned the copies of Amane’s notes with promises of candy and junk food to repay him for the help.
Some of their classmates had left partway through, either because they had other things to do or because it was a more serious study session than they wanted, so Amane was secretly admiring the ones who had stayed for their diligence.
“Sorry for making you wait. And after you helped me out, too.”
Mahiru stayed to the very end, to clean and tidy the classroom and return the key to the office. Other classmates had asked if she wanted to head home together, but as the organizer, she had various tasks to finish up, so she’d given them each a firm refusal and had been about to stay behind alone until Amane had stepped in. He told her that they had all used the classroom together, and it would surely be dangerous to let Mahiru head home on her own late at night, so he would stay with her.
He wished that Itsuki and Chitose had been there to stay behind as well, though. He felt some minor frustration toward his friends, who had thoughtlessly ducked out earlier, as he and Mahiru walked down the deserted hallways together.
Since club activities were temporarily on hold, and since the sun had already set, there were probably only a few teachers, office staff, and students left in the building. It wasn’t good to be seen alone with Mahiru at school, but it was too late to change that.
“No, no, I’m the one who should be apologizing,” Amane insisted. “I might have gotten in your way instead.”
“Not at all; you really helped me out,” Mahiru replied. “There was no way I could go around to everyone by myself. I never imagined so many people would show up…and there were some people who joined at the last minute, so there were way more than I expected.”
“I feel like that’s not a big surprise, for the angel.”
“…Oh, come on.”
She shot him a look as a reminder that she didn’t want him to call her by that nickname, which Amane let pass with feigned ignorance. It was his meager payback for her publicly complimenting him.
“But it went well; everyone tackled the material seriously,” she said.
“There was a lot of chitchat throughout the room, but everyone was more serious than I expected. Even I was working hard to keep up.”
“You always take your studies seriously, Fujimiya. You seem even more motivated for this round of exams than you have before.”
“…I guess. I’ve been thinking I should put some more effort into certain things.”
Amane intended to do the best he could at studying and at exercise. At the moment, there was hardly anyone around, and he had a good reason to be accompanying Mahiru, so he stayed by her side. However, Amane wanted to become someone who could be with her without needing a reason and not worry about people talking.
Mahiru, who he was sure had no idea of the deeper reasons behind Amane’s efforts, smiled at him and said, “How admirable.” They had just arrived at the entry hall, and she turned to look at their surroundings. “The sun’s already gone down, hasn’t it?”
“Sure has,” Amane agreed.
He noticed her staring at him.
She wasn’t wearing her usual angelic smile, but rather the more intimate and slightly expectant one that she often showed him when they were alone together.
Amane hesitated, briefly unsure of what she wanted. Though from their previous conversations, he managed to guess what she was thinking and put on a slight smile.
“…It’s late, so I’ll walk you home.”
Evidently, he guessed correctly, because Mahiru’s porcelain cheeks flushed slightly, turning the color of roses, and her lips gently curled up.
“Thank you for being so thoughtful,” she said. “It’s very kind of you.”
“Are you making fun of me? You basically just told me what to do…,” he muttered quietly.
“Heh-heh.”
Apparently Mahiru had heard what he said, and she crinkled her eyes like she found it funny. “You dummy,” she teased, before changing her shoes and heading out the front door. Since they were supposed to be walking together, Amane slowed down to match Mahiru’s pace and let out a deliberate sigh.
…I bet it’s pretty obvious.
It was clear that he had stayed behind so late in order to wait for Mahiru so that she wouldn’t have to go home alone.
Only, it wasn’t good for them to be alone together in public, so he had intended to walk behind or ahead of her, not side by side. Except now that she had anticipated it and manipulated him into escorting her, there was no way he could say no to her.
“…You’re a girl, Miss Shiina, so you shouldn’t go home too late, you know.”
“How kind of you to say so. Usually, I get home safely, and today I have you with me, Mr. Fujimiya, so I feel extra safe.”
“…Indeed.”
Illuminated by the dim, unreliable streetlights, Mahiru’s smile looked brighter than the bulbs themselves, and Amane averted his eyes to avoid being dazzled.
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