Ryuuou no Oshigoto! - Volume 14 - Chapter 4.6

  DECISION

Reporters come into the arena immediately afterward.

Since I had my back against the wall since early in the match, they were most likely waiting outside the arena. Round after round of humanity avalanches toward me with their microphones at the ready.

“Sora 4-dan! What went wrong?!”

“Why did the invincible Naniwa’s Snow White lose to a Women’s League player?!”

“Were you overconfident?!”

Proper protocol dictates that all questions from the media are directed to the victor first. Ms. Oga surely explained the process to them in great detail already.

However, they trample the rules underfoot and come straight to me, the defeated, instead.

I expected as much.

That’s why I have been collecting my thoughts since the beginning of the late game. I’m ready to field their questions without delay.

“I lost because I was weak. I had never seen that formation before and was unable to adapt in time.”

A reporter representing the newspaper sponsoring the match proceeds to the next logical question.

“…… With this loss in your debut, you have lost the ability to advance in the Ryuo League this season. A duel with your sibling apprentice will have to be put on hold for the time being …… What are your thoughts?”

“Kuzuryu-sensei and I are in very different positions. He has two professional titles, I am a new 4-dan. Issuing challenges offhandedly is something I cannot do.”

I tap into my pride as a professional to encourage my fading and thoroughly exhausted consciousness to stay alert and acknowledge my defeat with dignity.

“I will go back to square one and try again.”

“Thank you ………… Now, Empress Sainokami. What would you say is the reason you won today’s–––.”

“There’s somebody I REEEEEEALLY wanna play.”

She answers in a voice way too loud for this situation.

“You see, they keep running away no matter how far I chase them. And I’ve chased them so, so, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO far.”

The victor’s–––Sainokami’s–––uncovered eye doesn’t see me anymore.

No.

It never saw me in the first place.

The only one in her sights is–––.

“But, once I figured out there’s no running away from a league match, I figured I’d just win my way up to them. SO – YOU – SEE!!” The beast smiles directly into the camera to say, “Hold on to that title and wait for me, Yaaaichiii♡”

It’s not just prize money and pride.

The victory star I wanted.

The words I wanted to say.

Sainokami steals them all on her way to a higher class in the Ryuo League.

–––Ah …… So this is it.

I finally understand after being photographed from behind for the first time after a match against a Women’s League player.

This is what it means to lose.

A review session didn’t happen. There was nothing to say.

I immediately go back to the room that Ms. Oga reserved for me because all I want right now is to be alone. I’d give anything to collapse into that bed that served as my sanctuary so many times during the match.

But when I turn on the lights of my supposedly empty room …… the last person I expected to see is here.

“Keika?! Why are you–––?!”

“Why am I here? Because I was next door the whole time. You insisted on doing everything yourself, so I had to go behind your back to make sure I was around in case something happened,” said Keika from the bed, speaking slowly like a parent lecturing their child. “This isn’t the first time, I’ll have you know. The chairman always had a room reserved whenever you had a Sub League match. Akashi-sensei was always on call somewhere close by, and Father found excuses to be in the area as well, Ginko.”

“………… I knew that already.”

Chuni, the Sub League’s secretary, told me about Master.

“And? If you were here the whole time, why did you show yourself now? To console me after a loss?”

“You know the answer to that too, don’t you?”

“………… So what if I lost to a Women’s League player in my debut? I know better than anyone that my perfect record against them was all luck. At least now that I’ve lost, I won’t have to work so much. So if I focus that extra time on research–––.”

“That won’t make any difference,” she answers instantaneously. “You won’t stand a chance in the Placement League the way you are now, Ginko. I can see it already: not only will you lose them all, you’ll have to drop out and end up forfeiting matches.”

“There’s no way to know until I try–––.”

“Oh, but I do know. You’re in terrible shape after a five-hour format Ryuo League match against an opponent who only used eight minutes. Trying to do a placement match with six hours of waiting time will literally kill you.”

“The only reason my opponent won is because she was better prepared. If I devote more time to researching, I won’t lose.”

“That won’t work. Because, seriously–––.”

“Ginko, you haven’t played a full match of Shogi in over four months, have you?”

Keika has the water bottle I gave up on opening in her hand.

“………………”

She piles on even more as I stare at my feet in silence.

“Since when? You weren’t in any shape to play during the last weeks of the 3-dan division, were you? I heard all you did at home was sleep.”

“…………………………”

“Please, tell me, Ginko. How long has it been?”

“………… Playing Shogi has been painful every now and then ever since I was little ……”

Yes. That fact has followed me around like my own personal rain cloud.

At some point that pain just became the way things were.

“I get feverish, fatigued and dizzy ………… But I always thought that was because my heart hadn’t healed ……”

“Your heart is completely normal now. Dr. Akashi gave you his word, remember? The hospital in Tokyo did thorough tests as well and found nothing wrong. There’s no doubt it’s fully recovered.”

Keika makes direct eye contact with me as she speaks.

Those aren’t the eyes of a liar ……

“I spoke with your mother, actually. It took some fast talking to get Ms. Oga and Chairman Tsukimitsu to reveal that something else was wrong besides your heart. How could I have been so blind ……? I should’ve noticed first since I was the closest one to you all this time ……!”

You wouldn’t, Keika.

Because I’ve been desperately hiding it from everyone.

“Big brother Seiichi regrets letting you go on with this. He said that he should’ve insisted you take a leave of absence as soon as you were promoted to 4-dan. But, being a professional player himself, he knew that someone else deciding what you can and can’t do would only make you upset. So he at least wanted to let you make your debut before–––.”

“I’ll play. I’ll keep playing. I am a professional player now, aren’t I?!!”

I nearly scream at her, but Keika simply stands up and embraces me.

Just like she used to do when I pouted as a child.

“Ginko …… There’s no rush. You’ll get better as long as you take the time to rest up properly. This will go away on its own, just like how your heart got better–––.”

“………… No, it won’t ……”

I clutch my chest and yell.

“This hasn’t healed at all! I’m just as frail as ever …… Why didn’t you tell me I’d never get better?!”

“I see ………… You found out about that, didn’t you ……?”

I wouldn’t have if I never stayed at the hospital in Tokyo.

Chairman Tsukimitsu recommended that I undergo a thorough physical exam, not just get treatment for my ribs, while I had the time. He said it was for my own future as a professional player.

I had only ever been examined by Dr. Akashi in Osaka, so it was the first time I’d heard what a different doctor had to say about my health.

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Dr. Akashi. But …… I never felt any better despite his insistence that I had made a full recovery. I was getting anxious. If I couldn’t find the problem that was keeping me from playing Shogi ……

Long story short, the problem wasn’t my heart.

Dr. Akashi didn’t lie to me.

But ………… he didn’t tell me everything. Especially not the harsh reality.

“Why, Keika?! Why didn’t anyone tell me?! Master said all those things because he knew, right?! If I had known, I’d–––.”

“Would knowing have stopped your feelings, too?”

“……………”

Would it have changed how I feel?

No, of course not …… That’s impossible ……

“……………… He finally …………”

The emotions I kept at bay in the arena hit all at once and tears start flowing.

All the pain, the misery and heart-rending affection tear me apart from the inside …… I wail through a river of tears.

“He had finally …… said that he loves me …………”

Everything that was within my grasp slips right through my fingers along with these tears.

“He … he’s an idiot …… Already talking about ……… getting married, things like that …… I mean, seriously? I only …… just …… turned 16 …… and he ……”

“Ginko ……”

“He said he wants to have our own family tournaments …… So he wants an even number of kids …… Ha-ha …… Stupid, right? He doesn’t know anything ………… Ha-ha-ha-ha ……”

What would he say if he found out?

That he still wants to marry me, probably. He is an idiot, after all …… Throwing away that happy future that he keeps dreaming about ……

“But I’m an idiot, too. All because he said he can’t wait to see me grow my hair out for the wedding ceremony …… I went and grew out my hair anyway–––.”

“Ginko!!”

Keika cuts me off.

“That’s enough, Ginko. You don’t have to say another word.”

Something warm rolls down the back of my neck.

Keika is crying while holding me tight in her arms.

“If you want to be Yaichi’s wife, I won’t stop you. You can ignore everything that Master said and do what the two of you want to do. If you want to stay on this track, go ahead and see how far it goes. I think that’s just fine. In fact, I think that that’ll work out the best. Not just for the two of you …… But for me, and the others as well ……”

“Kei- ………… ka …………”

Research might let me win short Shogi matches.

It might even net me a few victory stars in the professional Shogi world.

But I won’t last long if I can’t win any placement matches.

Six-hour Shogi is in a different realm from any match I have ever played. Even if I make it through the early stages, everything will fall apart in the mid game. Thinking about it rationally, it’s obvious that I can’t win when simply sitting next to the board is so difficult.

Keep losing for three years and I’ll be demoted to freelance. Either that or retire. All without taking one step forward from the starting line.

“But if you want a different future for yourself,” whispers Keika. “If you still want to keep your eyes on the summit, choice is a luxury you don’t have. Master, Chairman Tsukimitsu and the Women’s League Chairman Shakando-sensei all acknowledge that it’s up to you. The decision is yours, Ginko.”

I close my eyes.

Visions of everyone celebrating Yaichi and me at our wedding and wishing us well play out in my mind. I can see myself doing the housework during his title matches while playing my own from time to time. To lose.

Just as Keika said, I might be happiest that way.

But.

“……………… How did his match go today?”

“He won.”

“Oh ……”

Even after hearing it, I don’t feel happy for him.

Only pressure and jealousy.

More than losing to Ika Sainokami …… Hearing that he won while I lost lights a new flame within my battered and bruised fighting spirit.

Everything is clear now.

What I really want to do is–––.

“I understand.”

I take Keika’s advice to heart.

I stay up until morning that night, writing messages to explain my decision in my own words.

The first message is meant for the world as a professional player.

The other …… is meant for one person in particular.

However, the day arrived before I sent one of them.