Ryuuou no Oshigoto! - Volume 6 - Chapter 4.1

  AI: LOLITA COMPLEX ASSASSIN

“…… I’m ba~ck.”

League match done for the day, I get home and yell toward the back of my apartment.

It ended early, so it’s still early evening.

“Ai? …… Maybe she’s not back from school yet?”

Today’s match was kind of strange.

I was going against a mid-ranking guy from Kanto.

Playing on defense, I drew him into a strength-on-strength battle after getting through a messy early game. It took forever for things to fall into place, but just when I started getting into a groove in the mid-game–––.

“He just throws in the towel.”

Both Mr. Kagamizu, the match recorder, and I gasped in disbelief.

I guess the guy lost hope after looking at the formation, but …… 

“I didn’t think he was in a bad spot. Actually, I thought I was losing. Maybe my reading was off? Then again, Mr. Kagamizu was just as surprised as I was ……”

Pieces are still moving around in my head because the match didn’t really end. Nearly got hit by a car on a crosswalk in Naniwa on my way home because I didn’t realize the light changed.

“Well, that’s seven wins in a row including the Ryuo Title Match …… So, I must be doing something right ……,” I whisper under my breath as I take my shoes off. 

Then, “Welcome home♡ Master♡♡♡”

My apprentice comes up to greet me at the front door with cute little footsteps …… But, um.

“Huh? …… Ai? What’s up with that ……?”

“Ehehe♡ I wanted to try a new look!”

I’d certainly say this is new.

She normally keeps her hair tied back, but now it’s got this little devil charm to it. What’s that style called: a twin ponytail? Her usual hairstyle is great, but this is pretty cute too.

As are her clothes. She’s got one of those really short miniskirts on and white socks that go all the way up to her thighs.

Her sleeves are so long and poufy that her fingers barely stick out. Talk about adorable.

This isn’t just some parent, or Master, bragging about how cute their kid is.

“……… So cute ……”

She’s pretty! So much prettier than those so-called junior idols popping up all over the place!

A picture of Ai like this would be one of those miracle shots that spreads out all over the world in seconds. She’s no one-in-a-century beauty in those clothes. Ai dressed like this is on a higher level. A millennium wouldn’t cover it. I’d call her a once-in-every-one-thousand-and-three-year beauty.

Ai looks up at me as I can’t look away, cheeks turning pink as she twiddles her thumbs.

“D-Do I …… look strange ……?”

“No, no! Very cute! Those clothes look great on you.”

I told her she had to look her cutest to help promote the Shogi world just before the First Move Ceremony. Ai always tries her best and must be taking initiative.

Taking it to this level is a bit concerning but …… I can’t shoot her down knowing her heart is in the right place. My capacity as her Master is being tested. I should think of this as her taking her first step into the Women’s Shogi world and praise her for it.

“Oh, yeah! Extremely cute! This is a great look for you!!”

“Ehehe♡ All right–––.”

Ai innocently takes hold of my arms and looks up at me at a forty-five degree angle, smiling.

“Which do you like better?”

“Come again?”

“Which look do you like better, Master? This or my usual?”

Jooooolt~~~~~~~~♡♡♡

A thunderbolt just zapped its way through my chest!

That devilishly charming little voice!

Those eyes could melt any man’s heart with a single glance!

My own is clenching up tight and yet feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest at the same time!!

Wh …… What is this?! Why are the butterflies in my stomach going crazy …… just because a grade school girl is looking at me ……?!

“Tell me, Master. Which one?”

“Well …… Huh? …… I, uh …… both ………”

“Both …… what?”

“I …… like …… both looks ……”

“Ehehe♡” Ai grins from ear to ear, buries her face in my chest for one quick second before she says, “Dinner is almost ready!”

“G …… Great. Thanks ……”

My ten-year-old apprentice hops back and scurries off to the kitchen.

We’ve been living under the same roof for nearly a year now, but there’s an alluring sparkle about her today.

That shock seems to have woken up my brain from the Shogi board that’s taken up all the space recently.

That doesn’t mean a Lolita complex has awakened or anything, okay? …… Really, okay?

“Whoa. You went all out today.”

“Yep! You must be tired from your match today, and I want you to get back to your old self, Master♡”

Just like with her clothes, everything that Ai made today is different from the usual.

Each of them looks delicious, as always. The match ended so early I couldn’t grab a bite to eat at the association so I’m starving. Down the hatch!

Just as I was about to dig in.

“Master. Excuse me♡”

Plop.

Ai sits down next to me in one perfectly natural motion. She then scooches in so close that one of her twin ponytails brushes against my shoulder.

But, we always sit across the table from each other …… 

“Huh? You’re going to eat here?”

“…… I’m not allowed?”

“Well …… It’s fine, but ……”

I can’t say no when she’s looking up at me like that. That forty-five degree angle is brutal.

I-I’m her Master, I have to be strict ……… She has to go off on her own ……… 

“O-Okay, then …… Shall we eat?”

“Let’s♡”

Ai rests her head on my shoulder for a moment like it’s a normal, everyday thing as she puts her hands together.

Then she abruptly turns to face me and opens her mouth.

“…… Huh?”

It’s like she’s expecting something, looking at me with her mouth open like that.

“…………”

Her mouth is still open.

What? …… Are you not going to eat? What are you trying to say?

Just as I was trying to figure it out, Ai closes her mouth and glares at me like I’ve done something wrong.

“…… Master.”

“Yeah?”

“Who made this food?”

“You did.”

“Who made tea for after dinner?”

“That would be you, too.”

“Who washes the dishes?”

“…… You do, Ai.”

I lower my head to my apprentice.

“Sorry. I haven’t been pulling my weight. From now on, you have my word that I’ll do the dishes at least–––.”

“That’s not it!”

Come again? It’s not?

“I made the food, so it’s Master’s job to feed me!”

“It …… is? Really?”

“Yes, it is!”

So it is.

“Let’s try this again. Ah~h♡”

“Uh …… Okay.”

“Ah~h♡”

My apprentice opens her mouth again, trying to get me to say “ah~h♡” right along with her.

“A … ah …… h.”

With no idea what’s going on, I go along with it. K-Kill me now, this is so embarrassing ……!

Although.

Chomp!

“……?!”

The moment she ate from my chopsticks …… Lightning pierced through the very bottom of my heart!

Ngh! Too …… darn cute!!

At this rate, I just might say who cares about common sense and what society thinks and cross that last line that I as a human being should never cross–––.

“……… I don’t have a Lolita complex. I don’t have a Lolita complex. I don’t have a Lolita complex. I don’t have a Lolita complex ………”

Chanting over and over like a Buddhist sutra saved my sanity. So close to losing it ……!

Meanwhile, the apprentice who made me say ah~h.

“…… Gahhh ……! I’m too embarrassed to taste anything ……!”

“Haa haa ……… W-what’s wrong …… Ai? Did you say something ……?”

“N-nothing!”

She’s been all over me since I got home, but now she won’t look at me. Why? Because she’s grossed out? Because it looked like I was about to get into lolis? Does that kind of thing have a smell?

Desperate to break the tension in the air, I bring up the food.

“S-so, um …… What kind of fish is this?”

“It’s kisu. Kisu tempura.”

“Whiting, right? But, they’re a summer fish, aren’t they?”

“I had my parents send me frozen ones from home.”

Apparently, Ai has mastered the air fryer I bought for her. After all, it’s not safe for kids her age to be working with hot oil out in the open. But her tempura fried fish is excellent. Of course, everything else is delicious, too.

“And this is …… Stew? I think?”

“It’s called chuspajs. It’s a traditional dish from Slovenia made by boiling a whole bunch of potatoes together.”

“Y-You sure know some unique recipes.”

“I studied hard. Am I a good girl?”

“Yeah …… You’re a good girl, Ai.”

“Meooow~♡”

She makes an adorable noise as I pat her on the head. What is this? Why is she this damn cute?

I knew she was cute already, and I felt a few heartthrobs before but …… Today has been on another level entirely.

This cuteness …… she’s surpassed Charlette?!

Patting her head seems to have helped Ai get past whatever was bothering her. Her eyes twinkle as she says.

“I want to try cooking kisu like the Chinese do next time!” 

“G-Good luck ……”

“We’re having French toast tomorrow for breakfast!”

“…… Can’t wait.”

Responding took everything I have.

I can’t look at her anymore. She’s so cute I can’t trust myself …… 

“Haaa~ …… T-The food was great but …… I’m exhausted ……”

I collapse to the floor as soon as Ai takes the dishes to the kitchen.

I don’t remember a single flavor …… Just that this very sweet sensation has been drilled into my head over the past hour …… 

“Hm?”

I happen to glance into the tatami room–––and see a magazine beside Ai’s backpack.

“That’s ……”

Elementary 4 Reader

“Ahh …… I remember these!”

I couldn’t contain myself after picking it up. It’s a magazine written for grade schoolers.

Big Sis and I only read magazines like Shogi World and Tsume Shogi Paradise, but my old classmates used to read these between classes all the time back in grade school.

“Serialized manga, math puzzles and worksheets, these things have everything grade schoolers could want~!”

Shogi World has serialized lectures (“Ishida Style is On Fire! How Nimble Shitamachi Ishida Destroys Static Anaguma!”—“Advance with Climbing Silver! Rapid Battle to the King: Dissecting the Advantages of Climbing Silver”—and so on), Shogi puzzles and one-move practice problems, but nothing my classmates would’ve gotten jealous over.

“Well then. What’s popular with the grade school kids these days?”

I flip through the pages. Ah, here’s the first headline article.

“100 Ways to Land an Older Boy.”

It takes me a few seconds to process that title.

…… Huh? What is this supposed to be?

The headlines I remember were like “How to Fold the Best Paper Airplane” and things like that but …… 

Feeling more afraid than curious, I turn the page.

“Special Edition! Loli-Con Assassin!”

There’s a picture of an innocent little girl, holding onto two arms and looking up at a forty-five-degree angle, staring right at me. It’s surrounded by a collection of other poses and instructions on exactly how to do them.

I-I’ve seen ……!

“These are the poses that nearly gave me a heart attack?!”

I throw open the next page.

“Be handsy! He won’t think anything of innocent touches, so light up his brain early and often!”

“Get him to say he likes you! Loli-cons won’t make the first move, so go on the attack! It all starts with initiative☆”

“Youth is the best weapon! 4th years tend to want to look grown-up, but fight the urge and bring out your inner☆Lolita!”

“That first kiss is so hard to get …… Start by making him say ahh and think about his mouth. Clear the little hurdles before going for the gold!”

“………… Uhhh ……”

……… All of these …… just happened to me ……… 

And …… every single one …… gave me butterflies ……… 

D-Does that mean …… I …… really might have …… a lo–––.

“Haha …… ha ……… K-Kids grow up so fast these days~ (lol).” Laughing it off to keep myself sane, “O-Oh yeah, these magazines always came with a bonus insert!”

Lacking the mental stability to wipe the sweat off my face, I search for salvation in a different article.

“Ahh, those were the days! That’s what I miss about being a kid, seeing all the new toys and wanting them just because~.”

Shogi World comes with bonus inserts, too, great ones like “Solving the 3 Nine Check Path Problem,” “Breaking the Castle: Anaguma Edition,” “Get a Step Up On Your Rival with Ranging Rook’s Latest Twists!” and “Play it Now: Direct Opposing Rook.” Unfortunately, they aren’t the best for bragging in grade school. The old guys in Shogi classrooms, however, were so jealous!

“What inserts do magazines have these days? A seventeen-year-old like me won’t be all that surprised, but–––.”

“Special Bag! Loli-Con Assassin Gear”

“AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE––––––?!”

I reel backwards like getting hit by a knock-out punch and yell at the top of my lungs.

“Master?! What’s wrong?!”

My apprentice rushes in to check on me.

The clothes she’s wearing …… that’s the Loli-Con Assassin Gear.

Now I get it …… 

That’s what’s been going on ……!

“…… Ai. Would you sit down please.”

“Suuure♡”

“No! Not on my lap … in front of me! Sitting there would make it look like I’m holding you or something! Sit down on your ankles like you’re supposed to!!”

“Whoops☆”

Ai sticks out her tongue and ☆ knocks herself on the head with her fist and looks up at me with a Loli-Con Assassin glance that would blow a man’s heart clear out of his chest.

Ngh! W …… What power ……?!!

Knowing that she’s just imitating what she saw in that magazine isn’t helping …… She’s so cute that my heart is squeezing in on itself ……!! She’s killing …… my sanity ……!!

But!!

“Haaaa––– …… Wheeeeew–––––– …………”

I am the Ryuo, the man who conquered the Shogi world twice!

Once I use the same breathing techniques that help me relax before big matches, “…… Ai.”

I issue my apprentice an order with as much authority as I can muster.

“Take off those clothes.”

“Uwheee ……?”

She gives me a wide-eyed stare for just a second.

Then her eyes start glistening as her face turns red as a boiled crab and she nods.

“Y …… Yes!”

Her fingers start shaking as she grabs hold of a button!

Her hands are tiny, sure, but they’re shaking the same way the Meijin’s do when he’s sure he’s won–––. They’re trembling with victorious excitement.

“S-So, today’s finally the day …… Elementary 4 Reader truly is the perfect guide …… Unbelievable …… Mihane, thank you so much ………… Mother, father …… Thank you for raising me …… For tonight, I give myself entirely to Master ……!”

“Wha-?! N-no! That’s not what I’m asking …… Hey! Wait-wait-waitwaitwait!!”

I jump up to stop my apprentice who suddenly decided to strip in front of me.

How did this happen?! Figure that out later, because right now, I have to stop her!

“Ai! Stop right now!”

“Eeek …… ♡”

I grab hold of my apprentice attempting to take off the Loli-Con Assassin Gear and push her to the floor.

It’s already a dangerous situation as it is …… But this Loli-Con Assassin Gear is going to kill my reputation once and for all! If someone sees this, it’s all over!!

Just as that thought occurred to me, I hear the front door open.

“Yaichi? Ai? I made too much stew, so I brought the …… ex … tra––––––.”

Clang! The pot she was carrying hits the floor, her voice trembling.

“S-So, you two ……… really are …………”

She’s looking directly at–––.

Ai, her clothes coming off, and me with a fistful of fabric …… pressing her to the floor …… 

“H …… How long has this been going on? No, please don’t tell me! I don’t want to know! Nothing should ever make this acceptable, no matter what …… But there’s a part of me that might pretend I didn’t see anything if I listen!! So please, don’t say a word!!”

“Wait! It’s not what it looks like!! Keika, please understand that I don’t have a Lolita complex!!”

“That’s what all of them say!!”

“Yes, Master doesn’t have a Lolita complex!! He loves me for who I am!”

“That iiiisss a Lolita complex!!” Keika wails, hunching over.

Ai, trying to remove the Loli-Con Assassin Gear.

And me, desperately trying to stop my apprentice from taking it off and clear up this misunderstanding at the same time.

It took two hours of explaining the situation to get Keika to calm down, but she didn’t look entirely convinced when we were done. Even on her way out the door, she kept giving me suspicious looks …… 

That’s when I made up my mind.

A bit earlier than I planned, but–––the time has come.