Ryuuou no Oshigoto! - Volume 9 - Chapter 4.1

  TEARFUL OGRE

“…… Lady. My lady.”

…………

“My lady. May I speak with you?”

Ah.

“Akira? …… What?”

“I’m sorry to disturb you when you’re tired. If I may suggest that if you wish to retire that you please go to your bed instead.”

It seems that I’d fallen asleep with my head down on my desk.

I remember coming back to my room after the title match yesterday and analyzing the loss right away …… I must’ve dozed off at some point.

–––How embarrassing, being seen like this ……

Pulling the strands of hair that are stuck to my cheek back behind my ear, I make my voice sound as irritated as possible and tell Akira.

“…… I’m not tired at all. Actually, I was just about to start researching.”

“My apologies.”

“And? What did you want to talk about?”

“An acquaintance of mine is close by, so may I have time to show them around? I shall return in two hours.”

My first thought is “again?”

Akira has been meeting someone on her own recently.

Apparently, she’s been secretly meeting them while I have been at school, so this may have started long before I realized what was going on.

Who could it be? Is it always the same person?

It comes to me in a flash.

–––A lover?

Akira is already over 20 years old and certainly looks pretty enough to be called beautiful.

I thought I had a pretty good idea what her private life is like because she’s almost always hovering around me, but there’d be nothing strange about her having a lover.

“…………”

Here I am in all this pain while she’s off somewhere, romancing with her head in the clouds …… I realize it’s a groundless assumption, but it still makes me angry.

Combine this with what the “Thorn Princess” told me, and it’s downright infuriating.

–––Treating me like some child ……!

“You wouldn’t understand because you’re too young.”

Getting looked down on like that made me so angry.

“My Lady? If two hours is too long, one …… No, 30 minutes will be–––.”

Misinterpreting my silence for something else, I interrupt Akira midsentence.

“I thought I told you you’re free to do whatever you want while I’m researching so that I can focus.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I want to study all day today. I don’t care if you come back or not.”

“Understood, My Lady. I will excuse myself.”

Akira politely bows before closing the door behind her without making a sound.

“……”

Maybe I could’ve phrased that a little softer?

But, I’m irritated at myself for worrying about it a few seconds later.

“Tsk ……!”

Snapping my tongue, I look at the computer screen in front of me.

The computer continued analyzing yesterday’s loss even while I was asleep.

I was already behind from a formation standpoint at the beginning of the mid game.

“My one opportunity on offense and I as good as threw it in the garbage ……”

There’s no time before the next match.

I have to focus on my research.

Except, every mistake I made in the first and second matches keep replaying in my head no matter how hard I try to drown them out.

–––Maybe Akira was right, and I should lay down for a while ……

Retreating to my bedroom and putting my head down on my pillow does nothing to stop the constant first and second match flashbacks.

Overpowered.

Total failure.

Ginko Sora’s psychological attacks are no excuse. Even when it comes to preparation, there are no obvious holes in her Shogi ……

“So, that’s …… Sub League 3-dan ……”

Strong.

Even the way her Shogi is built is completely different from the Women’s League players I’ve faced so far.

Sub League members–––they live in a different world from amateurs. Playing against them is like staring at the impenetrable wall built on top of a reinforced foundation.

Karen Noboryou should look down on Women’s League players and amateurs’ Shogi alike. They wouldn’t stand a chance against Sub League members like her ……

“……… How am I supposed to win against the monster like that ……?”

I smoosh my pillow up against my face to drown out my whining as I lay face up on the bed.

After losing twice in a row, all the adults at the party last night had lots to say to me.

“You’re still only 10, so now’s the time to build up experience.”

“Here you are, in your first title match at 10 years old. Even if you lose this one, it’s just a matter of time before you win it.”

“Losing is a good experience to have.”

I bet every single one of them thought they were being nice. Are they brain-dead? What could I get out of losing?

I got so irritated, so fed up with all of them that I caught the last train home rather than spend the night at that inn because I didn’t want to breathe the same air a single second longer than I had to.

“…… They don’t know anything, but they still run their mouths off!!”

Grabbing my pillow, I slam it against the wall.

Who cares if someone hears me? I don’t care anymore.

I just want to scream my lungs out.

“Just how much do you think playing Shogi means to me?! Do you think I’m fine with losing?!”

I yell, smacking my pillow into the wall again and again.

The cover rips open, but I couldn’t care less about the cloud of feathers swirling around me as I keep bashing the barely recognizable pillow against the wall.

“So what if I’m 10?! Does that mean I’m not trying?! Does that mean I’m guaranteed a spot in the next title match?! That I’ll get stronger no matter what?! Can you prove that I’ll keep winning?!”

There are plenty of players who get to a title match on nothing but momentum.

There are also tons who lost that momentum and fell from the top just as quickly.

Amateurs have an advantage in Mynavi because it’s a single match tournament. I used the fact that I’m an amateur in elementary school to put pressure on the professionals and came out victorious.

So, what happens when I face an opponent who doesn’t feel that pressure……? Or when the pressure is on my shoulders ……? The second match made the answer painfully obvious.

Even if I’m not playing against Ginko Sora, I doubt winning will ever be easy.

“That was my one and only chance!! The best chance I had!! And I!! I wasted it by playing Shogi that belongs in the garbage!!”

There’s no excuse.

Not for me.

There’s no forgiving my weakness. My pathetic excuse for skills. My laughably shallow reading.

But above all, my weak heart.

“Haaa …… Haaa …… Haa ……… Arrrghhhhhhh ……………” 

My fuming screams of anger start turning into painful cries–––.

Then, changing into all-out bawling.

“Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Waahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!”

Massive tears streaming down my cheeks, despair consumes me.

The weak lose, the strong win.

People die.

The end inevitably comes for everyone.

I already knew all of that. Reality is cruel and brutal no matter how much you cry and wail about it. It’ll never go the way a child wants it to.

Getting this far was no easy feat.

But, despite working very hard, there’s a limit to what I can do.

I’m the only one that can change.

Changing the way the world works is impossible.

“Arrrggghhhhhhhhhhhh!! Waahh …… Aghhh––––––––––––––––––!! Aghhhhh–––––––––––– …………”

I’ve pushed back against this cruel world by crying like a baby.

There’s not much time left for me.

Because–––.

“…… The warmth of sitting on Father’s knee, Mother’s kind voice …… They’re disappearing little by little ……”

I’m scared.

Scared of being alone.

I cling to Shogi because it’s the last way I have to feel my family’s presence.

Because these fingertips can imprint memories of my parents in match records whenever I play.

But ……

My memories of the three of us playing together get hazier with each passing day ……

“……… Why do I …… play Shogi ……?”

That’s why I want a title right now.

While I still have memories of Father and Mother. I want to make a mark on history while I can still remember the three of us together. I want proof that will last forever.

That’s what a title is to me.

I want proof that our dream came true.

That smile we all shared when I said, “I will be the Queen of Shogi!” For that moment to be immortalized.

But ……

“Ginko Sora is there …… So is Ryou Tsukiyomizaka, Machi Kugui, Rina Shakando, and Ika Sainokami ……”

Even if Ginko Sora should leave the Women’s Shogi world to become the first female professional player in history …… There is no guarantee I can take a title from any of them in a series of matches. Even if I win once or twice, their communitive skills are all still stronger than mine.

Then there’s the one who improves with each breath–––Ai Hinatsuru.

She skipped the entire 10-year path I followed on my Shogi journey, accomplishing everything in a single year. She’s a true monster.

I can beat her now because her technique needs work and is still fairly naïve, but ……

“With some kind of a spark, she could change in a single day …… No, it wouldn’t take that long. One Shogi match would do it ……”

Hearing myself say it out loud sends a jolt up my spine.

She’s getting stronger 10 times faster than I am. Thinking about it logically, she’ll keep getting stronger and stronger from now on. Which means, she’ll pass me up. A Women’s League player my age.

And once that happens, I’ll be in second place for all eternity.

Meaning–––I’ll never claim a title.

“………… Father …… Mother ……………… Save me ……”

Stumbling to my feet, I keep my hand on the wall and start wobbling out of my room.

I trip and fall so many times …… Even still, my feet keep crawling as I get naturally drawn forward, toward the place where I swore I wouldn’t return until the title was mine.