Seishun Buta Yarou Series - Volume 12 - Chapter 4.3

3

They parked in a lot near Kamakura Station.

“This way,” Mai said, heading back the way they’d come.

“Where we going, Mai?”

“You’ll see.”

He wasn’t seeing much of anything right now. He was totally lost. All he knew was that they were moving away from the most Kamakura part of Kamakura. Away from Komachi Street, with all its neat shops for tourists, away from Tsurugaoka Hachimangu, which was basically the symbol of Kamakura.

“We don’t go this way often,” Sara said, looking around as she walked next to Sakuta.

“Here we are,” Mai said, a good three minutes later.

She’d stopped outside a simple but fancy-looking shop. It was obviously far newer than the historical surroundings.

“Mai, you mean…?”

He looked at the letters on the sign and saw MONT BLANC.

“I figured it would be a nice gift for Touko Kirishima. Even if it is so Sara can read her mind, you’re going to have to smack her once, right?”

“Ah! Distract her with a Mont Blanc, then pow!”

“How strong a hit is it?” Mai asked, peering around Sakuta. Sara was hiding behind him.

“Um…,” she said, and she mimed it. A decently hard swing. “That should do it.”

Like a hearty clap.

“Does it matter where?”

“Anywhere’s fine.”

“That shouldn’t be too tricky, then.”

“Getting the Mont Blanc may be a tougher challenge.”

There was already a long line outside. And it was December 24. Christmas Eve. Couples were everywhere. Even in Kamakura.

There were maybe fifteen pairs ahead of them. Even if each only took a minute, that was a fifteen-minute wait. And based on what Sakuta saw as he glanced through the window, it seemed like one minute was an optimistic estimate. Once an order was taken, they squeezed out the Mont Blanc like soft serve and then settled up the tab. This could take half an hour.

“Then you’d better get in line, Sakuta.”

“While you do what?”

“My being here will do no one any good. Nodoka asked me to get those dove cookies and some Kurumicco. I’ll borrow Sara for that.”

“Huh?”

“Huh?!”

Their surprise overlapped.

“Come on.”

Before they could recover, Mai was walking away.

“Uh, I’ll see you later?” Sara asked. With no chance to voice an opinion, she wound up trotting after Mai.

“Hope that’s okay…,” Sakuta said, getting in line. He was reasonably concerned about this turn of events.

His worries lay with Sara.

He didn’t think Mai would do anything too crazy, but this situation was arguably already pretty crazy. This was definitely not an everyday occurrence. Sara was in the middle of the sort of thing that only came around once in a lifetime.

Even Sakuta had never dreamed Mai would show up. She had literally not been in the dream.

This sudden burst of the extraordinary was a huge departure from the dreaming hashtag. The prophetic dream was no longer remotely useful.

If anything would help here, it was remote viewing.

He figured Sara wouldn’t notice right now.

Being alone with Mai, she wouldn’t have the leeway to think about Sakuta. Certainly not enough to stop and spy on him.

Eyes on the Mont Blanc menu, he sent his mind away. Following the thread of entanglement through the darkness. Finding her, reaching out to her mind—and locking in.

This would let him see what he could not.

Mai’s back ahead of him, when it was not.

Sara’s view of her.

Mai was walking along the road to a shrine.

Sara was following after, matching her pace.

This was Wakamiya Oji, the road leading straight through the heart of Kamakura to Tsurugaoka Hachimangu.

A few dozen yards ahead, he spotted two red torii gates beneath the winter sky.

But Sara wasn’t looking at that.

Her entire focus was on Mai, and Mai alone.

 What am I even doing?

He could hear Sara thinking.

 I was supposed to be in Kamakura with Sakuta-sensei.

 I wanted to rent a kimono in Komachi.

 Force him to say I looked cute.

 Take pictures.

 Together.

 Eat dango.

 Look at the pink shell jewelry.

 Make him choose.

 Buy me a present.

 Tea at the temple with the bamboo.

 I thought of all these plans, and now they’re ruined.

 And he’s not even looking at me.

 Because she’s here.

A rush of anger.

Resentment.

Her eyes were stabbing Mai in the back.

Mai didn’t notice. Or—she’d noticed and was pretending not to. Her acting skills had made her a household name.

Seen through Sara’s eyes, Sakuta couldn’t be sure. He just assumed she knew. She’d known before she even showed up this morning.

 She’s got everything.

 Tall.

 Glossy hair.

 Anime face.

 Unblemished skin.

 Long legs.

 Slim waist.

 Pretty…

 …and she’s cool.

 Why would she be with Sakuta-sensei?

This train of thought seemed all about Mai, then somehow he got dragged into it. But the abrupt question had no effect on him. He got that all the time. Getting those looks on campus was still a daily occurrence for him.

“Sara, any Kamakura gifts you’d recommend?”

“Mm? Oh, I love Kurumicco. The box and wrapping are cute, too!”

“I bring those by the set pretty often.”

 That’s not it, that’s not it.

“……Um, can I ask you one thing?”

“You can ask more than one!”

“Why Sakuta-sensei?”

 I’m allowed to ask that much, right?

Sara stopped moving.

Picking up on that, Mai stopped, too, and turned to face her.

“Why what?”

 Well…

“You’re not exactly in the same league.”

“I’m not good enough for him?”

“The other way, obviously! You could be with some suave actor or popular idol!”

 I know they all want to date you, Mai.

“Would you want to be with someone like that, Sara?”

 You don’t…?

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“Say you’re with them. What then?”

 Huh?

“……”

 What’s that mean?

“Brag about it to your friends?”

Mai had the answer already.

 Yeah. I would. Totally, I mean…

“……Is that bad?”

“It’s fine. Who doesn’t wanna brag about their man?”

“……”

Once again, Sara didn’t know how to respond.

 It’s fine?

 Then why does her saying that feel…

Without realizing it, her hands were on her heart.

 …so horrible?

“Maybe you’re the one against that idea, Sara.”

Extremely perceptive. As far as Sakuta was concerned, Mai had nailed it. Sara couldn’t quite put it in words, but the idea of dating like that felt wrong to her, and that’s why she’d asked the question. Voicing the doubt in her heart.

 That’s not… I don’t think…!

Internally, Sara was trying to argue the point, as if vehement denials would get her back in the fight. She was desperately trying to protect something. And that something was likely the version of herself she’d spent her life building up. She couldn’t let herself admit her own core values were wrong.

That’s why Mai’s words were lost on her. She couldn’t let them get to her, couldn’t let them sway her. She still hadn’t gotten the answers she wanted and wasn’t backing off yet.

“…That’s not true,” she said, finally getting her words lined up. It was easy to tell that she was lashing out a bit, but that just played right into Mai’s hand. Mai had Sara dancing. She was teasing this emotional response from her.

Sakuta wished she’d go easy on the girl. Sara was just a kid. A first-year in high school. But his prayer didn’t reach Mai. This far away, he had no means of getting to her.

“Why’d you pick Sakuta as your teacher?”

“Because…”

Sara tried to answer but didn’t get far.

“Because he’s dating Mai Sakurajima, and that seemed like a nice challenge?”

“……”

Sara’s whole mind went white as a sheet. The shock was so strong that every thought left her.

“Well? Think you’ve got a shot?”

Unable to say a word, Sara simply stared at Mai, unable to tear her eyes away.

 She really is beautiful.

That was somehow the first thing that crossed her mind.

 If he’s dating her, why would he look at anyone else?

She had her answer.

“You know I don’t. That’s why you’re asking.”

 So why…?

“Yeah,” Mai admitted.

 Why am I…?

“But everyone else I’ve put my sights on fell for me. Even if they had a girlfriend!”

 What am I even saying?

“But those boys weren’t dating me.”

Mai’s attitude never wavered. She was a rock.

“……”

“And those boys weren’t Sakuta.”

Each line made her seem more unshakable.

“……But you never know!”

 Enough. Stop it! Just stop talking…

“Fair enough. Sakuta is free to make his choice.”

 I get it already! Stop, before I stop being me!

Sara’s thoughts were shrieks now, echoing painfully. If Mai pressed home with even one more word, she’d shatter—but that didn’t happen.

“Sorry, that’s beside the point.”

Mai chose that moment to back off.

“You asked why I picked Sakuta, right?”

“Yeah…”

Sara managed to croak out an answer that was barely audible.

“Sakuta puts up with all my nonsense while grumbling appropriately. In this line of work, I’m forever changing plans last minute, and we can’t exactly be seen in public together. The fact that he acts that way is such a relief. I don’t have to stress over it.”

Mai was just sharing.

“That’s why?” Sara sounded lost.

She would be. Mai probably had more to say—a lot more. This barely scratched the surface.

“Also, he always tells me how good my cooking is. And cooking with him is a real joy. And I love it when we eat together, just the two of us.”

“……”

Sara’s mind was filling with question marks. No clue what she was even hearing.

“He’s great about actually saying ‘I love you.’ Sometimes he could stand to tone it down a little, though.”

Mai laughed, obviously recalling a specific moment.

 I don’t get it. At all.

Mai caught the baffled look in Sara’s eyes.

“I have loads more reasons. I could talk about them all day. How he always says ‘Thank you’ and ‘Sorry,’ how he has friends who come to help him, how much he cares about them. How great he is at looking after his sister or playing with his cat. And how he worries about his students.”

“Does that mean me?”

“You’ve peeked inside his mind, right? He hasn’t thought about anyone but you all day. And he’s been totally sidelining me.”

“……”

 That’s right! He’s been worried. Sakuta-sensei worries about me…

“He’s one of those people who can devote himself to helping others. The whole time, he’ll insist he’s doing it for his own benefit. The way he twists things around like that…well, it frustrates me sometimes. But I can’t bring myself to hate it.”

Mai’s smile was positively glowing. A real warmth in her gaze.

 But I don’t want him to worry. I want…

“Does that explanation help?”

“……”

Sara didn’t say yes. She was still confused. She still felt lost.

“It’s hard to put emotions like these in so many words. But why am I dating him? That answer’s easy.”

Sara looked up. Eyes on Mai, hoping this would be the answer she needed.

“…Why is that?” she asked.

Mai’s whole demeanor softened. Her eyes were so tender.

There was no hesitation, no beating around the bush. Like she’d said, this one was easy. She’d known the answer all along, and it was probably the same one Sakuta would give.

“I’m dating Sakuta so we can be happy together.” Mai spoke the words slowly, savoring them. When she finished, she smiled. Then: “He’s the only one who makes me feel that way. Maybe that’s why I chose Sakuta.”

She said this almost as if the idea had only just occurred to her. As if it were a nebulous feeling that had just now crystallized.

“……”

Sara was speechless. Those words and emotions weren’t like anything she’d imagined. Mai’s words carried a warmth beyond Sara’s experience.

 What…is this?

That warmth enveloped her.

 I’ve never felt…

Swallowed her.

 …anything like…

She was drowning in it.

 Anything like this.

Mai gave her a gentle smile. One that showed how happy she was.

“……”

Sara was stunned. Her emotions were shapeless.

 I can’t.

Quietly, deep within…something shifted.

 There’s no way.

“If you don’t buy it, see for yourself.”

“……Huh?”

“Look inside me.”

Mai held out her hand, like she wanted to shake.

“Do that, and you’ll experience it all firsthand.”

 What now?

Sara’s fingers shook. No doubt, she was unsure of herself.

 What do I do?

Looking for answers.

But no one offered any.

She had to find her own answer.

If anyone else provided her one, that was only their answer.

Mai reached for Sara’s hand.

 Don’t…

Their hands were three inches apart.

 Don’t!

Two inches.

 I said don’t!

One.

 No…!

Almost touching.

“No…!” Sara yelped, snatching her hand away. She clutched it with her other hand, like she was guarding something precious.

 I don’t wanna know!

Sara’s violent rejection echoed through Sakuta’s head. The thorns of her outburst pricked his heart.

 I can’t win! There’s no way I can beat her!

Like a phone abruptly hanging up, the view vanished, and the sounds went with it.

He tried again, but it was no use.

He couldn’t connect to Sara. He didn’t know where she was or what she was doing. He could no longer trace her thoughts.

“Okay, next…sorry for the wait.”

A clerk with a Mont Blanc menu was looking at Sakuta. And their smile helped drag his mind back to reality.