Seishun Buta Yarou Series - Volume 3 - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Youth is a Paradox

1 

He was looking at the sea. 

Sitting on the stairs to the beach, Sakuta from two years ago was absently watching the waves roll in. 

He’d dreamed about the beach at Shichirigahama over and over, so even in his sleep, Sakuta knew he was dreaming. 

And he knew what would happen next. 

Shouko would be here soon. 

“You’re all depressed again, Sakuta,” she said, bounding down the stairs. She sat next to him. 

“You’re being obnoxious again, Shouko.” 

“The turmoil in a boy’s heart won’t be healed by staring at the ocean every day.” 

“If only I’d never known how close the horizon is.” 

What he’d thought was so far away turned out to be only three miles. Perhaps the lesson was that no matter how far off things seemed, they were really close at hand. 

“Oh dear. I guess that’s my fault. What would make you feel better? I’m up for helping any way I can.” 

She leaned forward, peering into his face. As she did, her glossy hair spilled over her shoulder. When she tilted her head like that, it was really cute. 

“If you let me touch your boobs, I’m sure I’ll feel better,” he said, for the sake of saying something. 

“Would that actually help?” She seemed to doubt it. 

“Definitely.” 

“But…they’re not that big, you know?” she admitted, looking insecure. 

“……” 

He turned and looked at her. Shouko started blushing. 

“…I-if it’s only a little bit, then—” 

“I was joking. You shouldn’t take it seriously,” he said, backing off before she actually offered to let him grope her. 

“I knew it was a joke.” 

“Did you?” 

“But if it would actually help, I’d consider it,” she said, with the grin of a sister teasing a little brother. 

“Bold talk for someone your size.” 

“Oh, you’re gonna go there?” Shouko stood up and moved around behind him. “Ha!” she said as she put her arms around him. 

One arm over each shoulder, chest pressed up against his back. Every nerve in his body instantly focused on that sensation. 

“Shouko.” 

“What?” 

“They’re bigger than I thought.” 

“Right? Right?” She sounded pleased. 

“You know, comparatively.” 

“I can feel your heart racing, you snot.” 

“And I can feel yours.” 

But Shouko didn’t let him go. She sat there hanging on to him, watching the waves, talking about nothing in particular. An aimless conversation. The warmth of her body against his making him feel safe. He couldn’t remember what led them to talk about it—he felt like it had just come up naturally. 

“You feel guilty because you couldn’t save your sister, Sakuta.” 

“…Is that wrong?” 

“Not wrong, no. But seeing you depressed like this must make it hard for her. If she thinks it’s her fault you’re not smiling anymore, that would be really sad.” 

“It’s not her fault she got bullied.” 

“Even so.” 

“……” 

“Feeling sorry is really important, that’s true. But however important it is, having apologies forced on you can get really oppressive.” 

“Then what should I do?” 

“What would you like to hear?” 

“……” 

“Do you like being told ‘I’m sorry’?” 

“No.” 

“I don’t like it, either. ‘Thank you’ or ‘Good job’ or ‘I love you’ are all much better. Those three are my favorites.” 

Her arms tightened around him. Squeezing. It hurt a bit but also felt nice. Warm. 

“Good job, Sakuta,” she whispered. 

“?!” His heart leaped into his mouth. 

“You did everything you could for her.” 

“……” 

He felt a burning sensation behind his nose. Crap, he thought, but too late. He blinked once, and the tears started flowing. 

He’d had no one to rely on. No one had stepped up to help him. All he could do was watch helplessly as Adolescence Syndrome covered Kaede’s body in wounds. No matter how much he wanted to help, there’d been nothing he could do. He couldn’t even find anyone who believed this crazy stuff was happening to her. 

He’d worn his throat out explaining, but no one listened. His parents couldn’t accept it; the teachers at her school just covered their own asses; their friends stopped coming over. The more desperate he got, the more everyone else distanced themselves. They acted like it was his fault for not reading the air. That was excruciating. It was beyond unbearable. And he’d had no choice but to suffer through it. 

“I…” 

“You did great, Sakuta.” 

This released the flood of emotions he’d kept bottled up. The tears wouldn’t stop coming. He’d thought no one would ever understand, but he’d finally found someone who did. Someone who got it. And that made all the difference. That was all it took to save him. 

“Shouko, I…” 

He let the emotions take him and tried to turn toward her. But he failed. Something was holding both his cheeks, and he couldn’t move his head at all… 

The pressure on his face woke him up. 

His right cheek was hot. So was his left. They were throbbing like someone had slapped him. 

The pain opened his eyes, and he saw Mai looking down at him, her face upside down. 

“……” 

She looked cross. That was too bad, since she looked great in the apron she had on. She was upside down because she was crouched at his head, where he lay on his back. 

Mai’s hands were on either side of his face. 

“Sorry,” he said, lips smooshed like an octopus in a vise. 

“For what?” 

“Um…” 

He could think of one reason. He might have called out the wrong name in his sleep. 

“Can I ask the reason for this?” he asked carefully. 

“I’m staying under the same roof as you, but you were sound asleep, which is infuriating,” Mai said. But her eyes shifted to one side. She was lying. 

“Can I assume you were too excited about staying in your boyfriend’s apartment and couldn’t sleep?” 

“Sleeping in the apartment of a younger boyfriend is honestly not that big a deal.” 

She was trying real hard to act natural, but before she even got the whole sentence out, she was interrupted by a tiny yawn. Before, when they’d shared a bed at a business hotel in Ogaki, she’d slept like a log even with him next to her… What had changed? Was she more self-conscious about him now? No, maybe she was just worn out from filming that show in Kyoto. He decided to be optimistic and go with the first theory. 

“Don’t leap to any conclusions, Sakuta.” 

“How’d you know?” 

“It was written on your face.” 

“That I thought you were being supercute?” 

“Don’t get smart with me.” 

She clapped his cheeks again. It was quite loud. 

“I made breakfast, so go wash up.” 

He lifted his head and saw French toast and scrambled eggs on the table. 

“I helped myself to the contents of your fridge,” she said. 

“Consider this your house.” 

“Stop messing around and get up already.” 

“Here we go.” 

He pretended he was getting up but then rested his head on her thighs instead. The world-famous lap pillow. But it wasn’t quite right. Mai was on her knees, but her hips weren’t on her heels, so her lap was at an awkward angle. 

“Mai, my neck hurts.” 

“You have only yourself to blame.” 

But she didn’t try to push him off. It was a quiet moment of bliss. 

“Ah!” 

Then a gasp of surprise interrupted it. Kaede had woken up and come out of her room. 

“Oh, Kaede,” Sakuta said. “Morn— Yikes!” 

Halfway through, Mai had jumped to her feet. Sakuta’s head bounced off the floor. 

“……?!” 

It hurt too much to even yelp. He just lay there silently rubbing it. 

“Morning, Kaede,” Mai said, completely ignoring what she’d done to him. This convinced him that he had called out Shouko’s name in his sleep. Mai’s pride stopped her from saying so—she couldn’t admit Shouko’s existence got to her. 

“M-morning! I didn’t see anything!!” 

When Sakuta finally managed to right himself, he found Kaede covering her face with both hands and fidgeting. 

“I’ll never see anything again! My future is shrouded in darkness!” 

“That’s what happens when you cover your face like that.” 

“I can’t see tomorrow!” 

“Such is life.” 

“A play without a script, I see.” 

“You people sure have a lot of excitement in the morning,” Rio said as she emerged from the washroom. She put her glasses on, unease written across her face. It was obvious she was doubtful that she could keep up with this kind of energy. 

Everyone sat down to the breakfast Mai had made. 

This was the first time since the Azusagawa siblings moved in that all four seats at the table were filled. 

It had taken Kaede a few minutes to sit with them, but now she was happily eating French toast next to Sakuta. Right next to him. It was kinda hard to eat. 

“This is so good! And fluffy!” 

“The eggs are also pretty good.” 

“They’re fluffy, too!” 

“We should have Mai cook for us all the time.” 

“Yes!” Kaede said, nodding enthusiastically. 

“Don’t weaponize Kaede,” Mai said, stomping his foot. 

“Ow!” 

“What’s wrong?” Kaede asked. 

“My love is being tested.” 

Mai started grinding. 

Kaede looked baffled. Meanwhile, Rio’s hands had noticeably stopped moving. 

“You don’t like it, Futaba?” Mai asked. 

“Oh, no…,” Rio said and took another bite. “I just haven’t eaten breakfast with anyone in a while.” 

Come to think of it, Rio was always eating toast in the science lab at school. Washing it down with the physics teacher’s supply of instant coffee… Did she not eat breakfast with her family? 

He opened his mouth to ask but was interrupted by a vibration. The sound was faint enough he had to listen close to be sure he’d heard it. But Sakuta soon realized it was a phone ringing. Because he saw Kaede flinch. 

“Oh, sorry, that’s me,” Mai said, pulling her bunny-eared phone out of her apron pocket. “I’ll be right back. It’s my manager.” 

She got up and went out onto the veranda, holding the phone to her ear. 

“Yes?” she said, her tone and attitude suddenly very grown-up. 

“Hi, Mai?” 

Either her manager’s voice was very loud or she had it on speaker. Sakuta could hear every word. 

“What’s up?” 

“Sorry to call this early. This a good time?” 

“It’s fine.” 

“I’m sure you’re tired after that shoot… Are you outside?” 

The noise from the street below must have made that obvious. 

“I’m at my boyfriend’s,” Mai said, like it was no big deal. This made it sound like she’d already told her manager about him, but… 

“Oh, your boy— Wait, what?!” Apparently, this was the first time Mai had mentioned it. “D-did you just…boy…? You said boyfriend?” 

“I did,” Mai said, as calm as her manager was flustered. 

“Don’t you move! I’ll go talk to the boss…and I’ll stop by your place later!” 

She must have hung up, because Mai came back inside. 

“That’s handled,” she said and shut her phone off completely. 

She sat back down and turned to Kaede, placing her palms together. “Sorry, Kaede,” she said. 

“I-I’m fine! I just shudder involuntarily whenever I hear that noise.” 

“Are you fine, Mai?” 

“I might get a lecture from the head of my agency later. It’ll be all your fault.” 

“……” 

“I’m kidding.” 

She grinned like it really didn’t matter and took a bit of French toast. “Pretty good,” she said, pleased with her own work. It was actually very good. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he said it would be great if she cooked like this every day. 

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not when it comes to work problems,” he said. 

“Boyfriends are fine.” 

“You say that but your…manager? They seemed pretty rattled.” 

“We just signed a commercial deal, so the agency is wary of scandals. At most they’ll tell us not to get spotted outside together for a bit.” 

“I dunno if that qualifies as ‘fine.’” 

That made him worried they’d pressure her into dumping him. 

“Also, my manager is pretty much always rattled.” 

“That really doesn’t sound good, either.” 

From what he knew, managers were in charge of handling their client’s work arrangements and schedule. That would seem to require a level head. And she’d called Mai but hung up without ever stating the reason for the call…and Mai had turned her phone off for Kaede’s benefit. If the manager tried to call back and couldn’t get through, she’d be even more agitated. 

But there was no use in his worrying about any of that, so Sakuta elected to enjoy his breakfast. 

Shouko came over at ten, like clockwork. Today she had on a hat with a huge brim. The kind rich girls wear when they wander the grounds of a resort. 

“My mom made me wear this because it’s so sunny,” she explained when she saw him staring. Then she noticed the shoes. “Um, you have company?” 

“Yeah, it’s, uh…a long story. Don’t worry. Come on in.” 

Shouko took off her shoes, and he led her into the living room. Mai, Rio, and Kaede were all there. 

“You know a lot of girls, Sakuta.” 

“……” 

“I didn’t mean anything by that,” Shouko said, waving her hands. “I didn’t—really,” she said again. 

He hadn’t uttered a word, so this made it sound like she definitely meant something by it. 

“What, did you think I’m a philanderer or something?” 

“No, I just thought you were more of a maharaja than I thought.” 

That did not sound substantially better. Before she could leap to any more conclusions, Sakuta introduced Rio. Mai had been with him the day they took Hayate in, so Shouko already knew her. 

“This is Rio Futaba. She goes to school with me.” 

“I’m Shouko Makinohara,” Shouko said, bowing. 

Rio looked rather tense. She shot Sakuta a glance. He gave her a quick nod but left it at that. It was the other Rio he’d recently asked about Shouko, so this one still didn’t know about her. Obviously, she was pretty shocked. 

Since he’d already asked “Rio” about her once, it hadn’t occurred to him to bring it up. Maybe he should have. 

He quickly filled her in while Shouko was playing with Hayate. 

“Adolescence Syndrome sure does love you, Azusagawa.” 

The feeling wasn’t mutual. 

After that, as promised, Sakuta and Shouko gave Nasuno a bath. He had Shouko pick Nasuno up and carry her into the bathroom. She was almost skipping. Hayate followed them but stopped at the door to the bathroom, hackles raised. 

Sakuta filled the sink with lukewarm water. When he glanced at Shouko, she lowered Nasuno into the basin. The cat was relaxed, sitting calmly. Sakuta picked up a small bucket and scooped water onto the parts of her that were sticking out. Nasuno closed her eyes, enjoying it. 

Then it was time for shampoo. 

“Work it in slowly. Don’t go against the fur.” 

“Okay.” 

Shouko’s tiny hands slowly started rubbing, making sure to get every inch. Then they rinsed it all off. 

“Aaaand we’re done.” 

Nasuno mewed in response and left the sink, dropping to the floor. She stopped right in front of Shouko. 

“Uh-oh.” 

“Huh?” 

Before Sakuta could warn her, Nasuno shook herself, sending drops of water everywhere. 

“Eep!” 

Shouko fell over backward on the wet floor. She was still holding the running shower head in one hand, so she ended up spraying herself. 

“Augh! Aughhh!” 

Surprised by the sudden water spray, Shouko dropped the showerhead. The water pressure made it writhe like a snake, mercilessly drenching every inch of her. 

“Whaaa…?” 

Sakuta quickly turned the shower off. 

But it was too late. 

Shouko was soaked from head to toe. Her thin summer dress was plastered to her skin, and he could clearly see underwear and bare skin through it. 

Nasuno calmly strolled out into the hall still wet, so he couldn’t very well leave her be. 

“Kaede! Nasuno’s headed your way! Get the dryer!” 

Then he held out his hand and helped Shouko up. She was astonishingly light. 

He led her out into the changing room, where he grabbed a towel and started drying her hair. 

“I’m okay. I can do it myself.” 

“Oh, right.” 

She wasn’t exactly a little kid. 

“I’ll grab you a change of clothes, so get out of those wet things before you catch a cold.” 

“Okay.” 

Shouko reached for the buttons on her chest. But the damp made the fabric stiff, and she was clearly struggling. 

“Let me,” Sakuta said. 

Shouko let him take over. Her outfit was very uncooperative. But he managed to get two of the buttons undone. 

The front of the dress came open, and he could see the white camisole she had under it. That was wet, too, and he could see skin through it. 

He was about to undo one more button so she could get the dress off. Then he sensed someone behind him. 

“Sakuta, what are you doing?” 

Mai was standing in the door to the changing room. 

“Taking Makinohara’s clothes off.” 

“You have the nerve to admit it?” 

She seemed pretty mad. 

“Huh? Wait, do I look like a pervert about to molest this young girl?” 

“Absolutely.” 

“Don’t be silly, Mai; she’s a child.” 

She was too young for it to matter. 

“She’s still a girl.” 

Mai did not seem willing to let this go. They’d just have to agree to disagree. They needed to draw a clear line here. 

“Makinohara.” 

“Yes?” 

Shouko seemed utterly unperturbed by any of this. 

“Do you bathe with your father?” 

“I did until the third grade.” 

“Now?” 

“Not now, no.” 

A clear answer. And a fair point. She might be younger than him, but she was twelve. Not that little. Maybe Mai was right. 

“Uh, Mai, you’d better take over,” he said, trying to smile his way out of it. 

“We’ll talk when I’m done.” 

Didn’t sound like it had worked. 

“I hope it’ll be a fun conversation,” he said. 

“Um, I don’t mind, so don’t be mad at him,” Shouko said, looking up at Mai. The girl radiated purity. 

A very welcome show of support. Except it clearly backfired. 

“You’ve sure groomed her well,” Mai said, her eyes not smiling at all. 

“I’ve done nothing! She was always like that!” 

“Just get out.” 

Mai shoved Sakuta out the door and slammed it shut behind him. 

“Crap, she’s really mad…” 

“I can hear you, stupid.” 

“……Sorry. Please forgive me.” 

2 

After Mai finished wringing him out, they ate lunch, and Sakuta changed into his uniform so he could swing by school. 

It was a ten-minute walk through the sweltering heat to Fujisawa Station. At the heart of a city of forty thousand people. Department stores and electronics shops clustered around. JR, Odakyu, and Enoden—lines by three different companies, all running through it. Throngs of people flowing in and out. 

From here, it was a leisurely fifteen-minute ride on a Kamakura-bound train, headed southeast. Sakuta got off at the Enoden Shichirigahama Station, a dinky little place with only a single track running through it. 

Once through the station gates, he was greeted by the salty scent of the sea breeze. He’d assumed he’d get used to this as time went on, but he still noticed every time he stepped off the train. And he’d started to pick up on how the smell changed in different seasons or weather conditions. 

Today, however, he was mostly focused on his own legs. Mai had forced him to sit on his knees for a very long time, and they still felt funny. 

There were no other students on the walk from the station to the school. He did spot a few local surfers with boards on their shoulders—it was definitely summer. A group of students on their way to the beach passed him by, laughing. 

The school gate was only open a third of the way, but he slipped through the gap into the school building. He could hear sports teams yelling in the yard. Baseball players chasing a white ball around. The occasional clang of a metal bat hitting a ball. 

The summer tournaments were over, and the third-year students had retired. The team was busy rebuilding. Kanagawa had rather a lot of high schools with baseball teams, but only a few would ever stand on the grounds at Koshien. Minegahara had run into a real powerhouse at their second match and were sent home early. 

The pinnacles of their sport were a long way off, but that’s exactly why they were all furiously working up a sweat trying to reach them. 

Putting their admirable efforts behind him, Sakuta moved inside, seeking shade. 

“Futaba, you here?” he asked, opening the door to the science lab. 

“……” 

No response. The room was empty. But there was a half-full coffee cup by the sink used to wash lab equipment. 

Seemed like the “fake” had come to school, at least. 

Was she in the bathroom? He poked his head out in the hall. The girls’ room wasn’t that far away. No signs of anyone coming out, though. 

Her bag was on the ground below the desk, so she clearly hadn’t gone home yet. 

He wandered around the lab for a bit, waiting for Rio to come back. It was the size of two regular classrooms. Way too big to hang out in alone. The scattered placement of the chairs were the traces of people who had been in and out. He could still hear the sports teams yelling outside, but that just made the lab feel even quieter. 

The longer he spent here, the more he felt like he was alone in the school. 

Like there had been a crowd here moments before, but they’d all vanished—that was the energy this lab gave off. 

It was making him anxious. He felt a knot form in his stomach. Did Rio feel like this all the time? Or was it just due to an overactive imagination? 

“……” 

Sakuta decided he needed to change things up and cracked open a window. 

A warm breeze trickled in, and the voices outside grew louder. He poked his head out, quickly noticing the intensity emanating from the gym. He saw students in T-shirts and basketball team uniforms milling around outside. There were several uniform colors—students from other schools. 

“Oh yeah, Kunimi said they had practice matches today.” 

He’d mentioned it at work yesterday. Players from several local high schools were supposed to be participating. 

Sakuta didn’t need two guesses to know where Rio must be. 

He went back to the entrance, changed into his shoes, and made his way to the gym. As he got closer, he could hear the basketball bounding and the sounds of the players running. The squeak of basketball shoes skidding on the gym floor. 

The front entrance was blocked by members of other schools’ teams, so Sakuta went around the side. The gym cast a huge shadow in this direction. There were a bunch of students sitting in the shade, presumably recovering from their games. 

There were three side doors, spaced at even distances, all standing open to let the air in. Sakuta found Rio at the last of these. 

“There she is…” 

But that thought instantly made him tense. 

He’d met this “fake” yesterday, too. They’d talked and everything. She’d offered him advice. He’d sensed absolutely nothing wrong then. But now that he knew there were two Rios, seeing the other one sent a shiver down his spine. 

He watched her closely. 

Like at the bookstore yesterday, she had her hair up. No white lab coat. Her legs were usually hidden behind the long hem of that coat, but today they were on display. The curve of her thighs. The tightness around the chest of her blouse, pushed upward by the vest she wore over it. All her buttons were done up, even the collar, which made her look very serious—and that clashed a bit with her curves in a way that really drew the eye. 

A bunch of the boys were giving her looks. As Sakuta went past, he heard them gossiping. 

“She a third-year?” 

“Damn sexy. Smart sexy.” 

“Go talk to her.” 

“You first.” 

They seemed to be having fun. 

He got why they’d have a dumb conversation like that. With her hair up, she seemed really mature, and it enhanced her sex appeal. And without her glasses, she had a melancholy look, which made you want to call to her. 

But Rio only had eyes for one. They were following his every move. She wasn’t watching the basketball game. She was watching Yuuma Kunimi. 

Her eyes didn’t care where the ball went. 

“Kunimi playing well?” Sakuta asked, taking his place next to her. Acting normal. 

“?!” 

Rio jumped a foot in the air. 

From behind them, he could hear voices going, “Her boyfriend?” “No way.” 

Rio glanced at him and immediately turned away. She looked uncomfortable. 

“I decided to swing by, since I was already here for club stuff,” she said, her voice almost disappearing. 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“You were going to.” 

“Well, it’s always great seeing you embarrassed.” 

“Drop dead.” 

“Got too much I wanna do with Mai! Can I have another eighty years?” 

“Azusagawa, you think you’ll live to your late nineties?” 

“Awful people tend to stick around, right?” 

“Don’t think that’s something you want to stake a claim to,” Rio said with a sigh. 

Her eyes were still locked on Yuuma. 

Sakuta checked the score. It was a fairly even match. Minegahara had a three-point lead. And basketball had three pointers, so that gap could close at any time. Even now, a dude in yellow—the opposing team’s color—was going for one. 

The shot traced a long curve—and bounced off the rim. A tall boy in a white uniform grabbed it. White was Minegahara. 

Yuuma was already back toward the opponent’s side. He raised a hand. A long pass, on point. 

The other team scrambled back, footsteps echoing through the gym. 

Yuuma caught the ball and dribbled his way in. A yellow player cut in to defend, and Yuuma tricked them with a dribble under his legs, passing them by. Freed up, he got ready for a jump shot. A big guy leaped in front of him to try to block it. The defender was easily six foot two. But Yuuma’s motion was another feint, and his feet never actually left the ground. 

Having thrown the other team’s defensive timing off, this time he took his shot. 

The ball arced smoothly through the air, spinning as it went—and the net swished as it passed through. 

A group of girls watching squealed. Must be first-years. Girls from other schools were cheering, too. 

“Wow, that’s annoying. Horribad.” 

“You’re too uptight, Azusagawa.” 

“Why don’t you try an ‘Eek, Kunimi’?” 

“……” 

She glared at him. 

“He’d be so surprised he’d miss a shot,” Sakuta declared. 

“I’m cheering for him.” 

“On the inside?” 

“……” 

Silence signaled agreement. 

“You lack initiative, Futaba.” 

Another cheer went up. The other team had scored. 

One step forward, one step back. The crowd was really into it. 

Only two minutes left. 

“So, Futaba…” 

“It’d be great if you could stop disturbing me.” 

“What do you like about Kunimi?” 

He just went right for it. 

“He’s your friend, too,” she quipped. “You’re telling me you don’t know what’s good about him?” 

“He’s a decent guy. Annoyingly good-natured, and he doesn’t judge people based on hearsay.” 

Yuuma knew how to form his own impressions instead of taking other people’s word for it. He’d said his mother taught him that, but Sakuta didn’t think it was something you could be taught. Spending time with people who had bad reputations gave you a bad reputation. That was how the world worked. He totally understood why Saki Kamisato had come after him, demanding he stay away from Yuuma. Not that understanding made it any less unpleasant… 

“So I like him as a person. But I’m also straight, so I’m not sure what I see in him is what girls see in him.” 

He knew Yuuma was good-looking. He was taller than Sakuta, talented at basketball, a gentle kind of handsome. He’d heard a college girl at work say it was cute how Yuuma’s smile made him look like a little kid. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that Rio’s fixation was for entirely different reasons. 

“What good will it do if you know the reason?” 

“Nothing in particular. Just curious. It’s a common enough topic for teens, right?” 

“Leave that to typical teenagers.” 

“So you’re saying you’re special?” 

“We aren’t exactly leading normal high school lives,” she said. No emotion in her voice. Eyes never leaving Yuuma. 

“Everyone has a right to fall in love. It’s not like driving. You don’t need a license.” 

Everyone is allowed to do it. Love exists beyond rights, allowances, and permissions. Hearts move on their own, dragging their owners this way and that. Some people enjoy it; some people get so upset about it they can barely breath. 

There was nothing special about it. 

“I’ve thought this for a while, Azusagawa, but you’re pretty love-prone.” 

“I am?” 

“You take the Minegahara entrance exams to follow your first love, then it takes you a full year to get over her, and before you know it…you’re dating a famous person. It’s unnatural.” 

“High praise.” 

“Clearly, that’s not what I meant.” 

“Shame.” 

“I’m not praising you, but I do envy how you follow your heart. Most people chicken out. Sincerity, candor, and dedication go against the times.” 

She didn’t sound the least bit envious. And he sure didn’t feel envied. 

“You care about what’s in fashion, Futaba?” 

“Being too candid can permanently change what you have now.” 

Naturally, she meant with Yuuma. 

“So? What exactly do you see in Kunimi?” 

Sakuta was impressed by how easily she’d derailed the topic, but he decided it was time to forcibly steer back to his original question. 

“……” 

Rio glared at him again and then let out a long sigh. 

She clearly wanted him to take a hint. 

“Love talk makes you sigh?” 

“That phrase from your lips just gives me chills.” 

“I promise I’ll never say it again.” 

He was pretty sure he’d never said love talk before in his life. 

“A chocolate cornet.” 

Rio suddenly named a pastry. 

“You want me to go buy you one?” 

“No. Kunimi gave me one when I forgot my lunch.” 

“Oh.” 

Minegahara High didn’t have anything like a cafeteria. Pretty much everyone brought their lunch. For those who didn’t, there was a small truck that always rolled up, and the lady in it sold packaged baked goods. A lunchtime-only bakery parked by the school entrance. 

There were also convenience stores in the area, so those were theoretically an option, but it was against the rules to leave school grounds, so few people did. 

This meant the only way to procure lunch without getting in trouble was the limited-time bakery, and it was always mobbed. A flock of ravenous students descended on it like locusts, devastating her supply. 

Once the flood subsided, all that was left were empty cases and a satisfied proprietor. 

“First term, my first year…and my first time going to the bakery truck.” 

The mob around that truck could be very intimidating. It could be tough for a timid student to shove their way through. 

“And Kunimi swept in when you were in trouble?” 

“He showed up eating a curry bun, his own spoils of war.” 

“The curry bun prince, eh?” 

“Just as I was feeling totally overwhelmed, he smiled and said, ‘You look like a girl who likes sweets, Futaba. Am I right?’” 

Sakuta could picture it easily. Rio stuck on the fringe of the crowd of pastry-mad students. Wishing she could buy something but unable to summon the courage to push into the throng. Hanging her head, ready to turn away—and that’s when Yuuma arrived with his usual open smile… 

He grasped the origin story, at least. 

“Hmm,” Sakuta said, nodding sagely. 

“……” 

Rio’s cheeks were slightly flushed, but she didn’t say anything else. 

“So then?” he prompted, giving up. 

“That’s all,” she said. Back to her usual flat tone. 

“I see. That’s all it was.” 

“Yep.” 

“How much is a chocolate cornet?” 

“One hundred thirty yen.” 

“You’re awful easy.” 

“If you’d given it to me, it wouldn’t have worked.” 

“So it was the handsome face that did you in.” 

“Kunimi was the first person here—besides you—to call me Futaba.” 

Last year, Sakuta, Yuuma, and Rio had all been in the same class. Class 1-1. By that time, Rio was already wearing her white lab coat everywhere and stood out like a sore thumb. She hadn’t been able to fit in with any of the girls’ groups, and no guys spoke to her, either. She was left sitting by herself—it was his main image of her from that year. She never tried engaging with anyone else. It became standard for everyone to call her “Professor” or “Lab Coat Girl”—nobody called her by her name. That was Rio Futaba. 

“So why not fall for me?” 

“I’m even not your type, Sakuta.” 

“I’ll admit you’re the type I want as a friend, not as a date.” 

Rio smiled a bit at that. “Ultimately, timing was a big factor. I was really at rock bottom around then.” 

“Mm? Was there more going on?” 

“Even when there isn’t, sometimes your feelings get away from you. You’ve never felt like that?” 

“You might not have realized this, so let me make it clear—you and I are both human beings.” 

“That is a shocking fact.” 

“Well, I guess that’s fine, too. So you were depressed, and he was nice, so you started crushing on him?” 

“…When you put it that way, it really does makes me sound like a pushover.” 

Rio snorted at herself. 

Sakuta tried to think of something else to say, but the buzzer rang first. The game was over. 

Both teams lined up. 

“Good game!” they cried, their voices echoing through the gym. 

With practice finished, the sweaty athletes all came spilling out of the gym, yanking off their shirts and yelling, “Let’s head straight to the beach!” Or making a beeline to the faucets and spraying water everywhere. 

Hard training had left them all sleekly muscled, and all these schools were near the water, so everyone had rather deep tans. 

The first-year girls were watching and squealing, half-embarrassed, half-gleeful. Girls from the upper years were mostly going, “Boys” and rolling their eyes. Yanking shirts off right after a match was definitely something only guys would do. 

But the rippling bodies of men did nothing for Sakuta, so he soon lost interest. It was all a bit too rowdy for him. 

Rio was averting her eyes, too. But not for the same reason. Her ears were clearly twitching with each new shout from Yuuma’s group, and she was red all the way down her neck. 

“You can look if you like,” Sakuta said. 

Yuuma had dunked his head under the faucet and was now shaking the water off like a wet dog. Then he grabbed a towel, dried himself off, and put a T-shirt on. 

“Aww, he’s dressed now.” 

“……” 

Rio glanced toward Sakuta, looking ready to stick a knife in his ribs. Maybe he’d better stop teasing her. If he valued their friendship. 

“So? What did you want, Azusagawa?” 

“Huh?” 

“You don’t love school so much you come in during vacation unless you want something.” 

“Yeah, I wish summer vacation could go on forever.” 

But only if he could see Mai on a daily basis. 

“You think like a grade-schooler,” Rio snorted, then glared until he got to the point. 

“All right, I’ll cut to the chase.” 

“Go on.” 

“Futaba’s at my place.” 

“……” Rio’s eyes wavered. “So that’s why you sounded weird when you called last night,” she muttered. 

“What the hell is going on?” 

“Why don’t you ask the other me?” 

“That was a very casual way to concede that there’s two of you.” 

Rio was keeping her tone professional, like this was someone else’s problem. That was how Rio always acted, and the way she’d behaved while they were talking about Yuuma was also what Sakuta expected from her. He hadn’t found a single reason to think she wasn’t actually Rio. How could he call this one a “fake”? 

“What’s the other one think?” 

“She raised the possibility of quantum teleportation.” 

“I was thinking the same thing.” 

Come to think of it, she’d bought a book on the subject yesterday. 

“But if that’s the case, the two of us can’t simultaneously exist, and we should have the same thoughts and memories.” 

The other Rio had said that, too. 

“Yeah, so she said her theory is that this time the observer is ‘Futaba’s consciousness,’ and for some reason, there are two versions of that consciousness.” 

Sakuta didn’t know if that was right, but that was how he understood it. 

“I see. And what did she say about why there are two consciousnesses?” 

“She said she didn’t know.” 

“And you believed such an obvious lie?” 

“I try not to doubt my friends.” 

“You do it all the time. You think I’m a fake right now,” she said, chewing him out. 

“I’ll be honest—I did arrive armed with that possibility.” 

“You sound like you’ve changed your mind.” 

“No matter how I look at you, you’re definitely Futaba. But if you have a hunch what the reason for the dual consciousness thing is, by all means, fill me in.” 

“You should ask the other me. She should have some idea.” 

“Why do you think that?” 

“Because I do.” 

And if they were both Rio Futaba, they should both know. In fact, this Rio might be saying that if the other Rio didn’t know, then she was likely a fake. 

“Well, if the answer’s the same for both of you, better just tell me.” 

Rio’s eyes briefly looked behind him. To where Yuuma was. 

“I’m going back to the lab,” she said and walked away. Like she was fleeing the scene. 

“Not gonna talk to Kunimi?” he asked. He’d concluded he would get nowhere asking about Adolescence Syndrome, so he’d decided to reply the way he always did. 

“……” 

But the only response was silence. She didn’t even pause as she went back into the school building. He watched until she was out of sight. 

“Futaba always does make it hard to pry anything out of her…” 

It was hard to watch at times. 

“Something up with Futaba?” asked someone behind him. 

He turned around to find Yuuma in a T-shirt and shorts, with a towel on his head. He had a bottle with a blue label in his hand. A two-liter sports drink. Two-thirds of it were gone, and he was busy chugging the rest. 

“Ah, I feel alive again!” 

“You’ve been dead this whole time?” 

“Almost! But what’s going on with her?” 

“Nothing. She’s just being Futaba.” 

“Ah.” 

He was definitely brushing Yuuma off, but Yuuma seemed convinced by his vague explanation. Sakuta couldn’t exactly tell him outright there were two Rios. Yuuma would think he’d gone crazy. No…knowing Yuuma, he would probably keep listening until Sakuta convinced him. But Rio likely didn’t want him to know. 

“She was here, right?’ 

“You spotted her?” 

“Right after the match started.” 

“Keep your eyes on the game.” 

“It’s easy to spot your friends from the court.” 

Yuuma threw the empty bottle at a nearby trash can. Sakuta tried to make it miss with his mind but failed. 

“You tried to mess up my shot just now, didn’t you?” 

“Do you read minds now?” 

“It was all over your face.” 

Yuuma rapped him on the head. 

“Futaba come to a lot of games?” 

“Mm, not sure. Sometimes, when she’s already here for club?” 

“Which one is the real reason she comes to school?” Sakuta gave Yuuma a meaningful look. 

“You’re really laying it on thick these days,” Yuuma said. 

“I won’t have you toying with her heart.” 

“Putting it all out there, huh?” 

The girls’ teams were starting a game inside the gym. 

“I’ll do what I can on that front,” Yuuma said. “So why are you here?” 

A reasonable question. 

“Should I not be?” 

“You don’t like school enough to show up during vacation.” 

“Futaba said the exact same thing.” 

Yuuma thought for a second, then asked, “Something going on with her?” 

“What do you mean by something?” 

“Nothing going on with me, but you’re at school on vacation… What else could it be?” 

That sort of made sense, but… 

You had to know Rio and Sakuta pretty well to reach that conclusion. 

“Kunimi, Coach wants to go over the match,” a teammate called. 

“Okay, coming,” Yuuma said, turning to leave. Then he stopped and looked back. “Let me know if you need my help.” 

“Mm?” 

“With Futaba.” 

“You don’t need to tell me twice. You better come flying no matter how late I call.” 

“I can’t fly, so I’ll ride my bike like the wind.” 

Yuuma flashed him a grin and went back into the gym. 

3 

Sakuta left the gym, heading straight for the visitor’s entrance (about thirty yards from the main one). There were offices just inside this entrance, and students rarely came here without a specific reason. And that reason was usually the nurse’s office, two doors down. 

This area was super quiet. He took his shoes off and changed into a pair of slippers. Avoiding the office door—the lights inside were off anyway—he went down the hall to the green public phones. He took a handful of ten-yen coins out of his wallet, stacked them up on top of the phone, and dropped one into the slot. 

He dialed his home phone number. 

It was picked up immediately. 

“Azusagawa speaking.” 

He knew who that was right away. Mai. 

“Mai, can you say that again?” 

“Azusagawa speaking.” 

The first time her voice had sounded warm, but now it was coldly professional. He could imagine the exasperated look on her face. 

“More like you’re a newlywed.” 

“I can’t believe you’re this excited about a phone call.” 

“Only because it’s you, Mai.” 

“That’s not gonna convince me to role-play a newlywed.” 

“Come on, no need to get all embarrassed.” 

Mai ignored this and asked, “How’s it going on your end?” 

He was tempted to push his luck, but he had a finite number of ten-yen coins, so he got down to business. This was why he’d called, after all. 

He had to drop another coin in already. 

“Futaba was at school.” 

“Mm. Futaba was with me here the whole time.” 

“She do anything after I left?” 

“Mostly helped Kaede with her homework. Futaba’s teaching her science stuff now.” 

“That’s good.” 

“Kaede’s still keeping her distance, but…” 

Mai chuckled. Sakuta pictured Kaede peering around the side of her doorframe and Rio sitting on the couch in the living room, helping her remotely. Kaede was taller than Rio, so that might be pretty funny looking. Kaede was five foot four, while Rio was only just over five feet tall. He could imagine why Mai was laughing. 

“And what are you up to?” 

“Cleaning your room.” She deliberately made this sound mischievous. 

“Aha! So you’ve opened my closet and seen all my underwear.” 

“I’ve disposed of all your unseemly belongings.” 

“…Seriously?” 

“You don’t need that bunny-girl outfit anymore.” 

“That’s the second most important thing in the world!” 

He clung to the pay phone in desperation. 

“The second?” 

“The first is you.” 

“Suuuure.” 

“I meant that for real.” 

“Then you don’t need anything else.” 

“Huh?” 

“I’m all you need, right?” 

“……” 

“Am I wrong?” she grumbled. 

“No…you’re right,” he croaked. 

“Don’t sound so disappointed. I just tidied up. Nothing’s been thrown away.” 

“You’re bad for the heart sometimes.” 

“On that note, are you an idol person?” Mai suddenly asked. 

This came out of nowhere and baffled him. 

“Huh? Why?” 

“I found a manga magazine with an idol group on the cover. From three months ago.” 

“Oh, I just forgot to throw that out. You can go ahead.” 

“Okay.” 

She took his word for it. But it also sounded like she was thinking about something else. 

“Mai?” 

“My manager’s due over in ten minutes—mind if I pop out for a bit? Or should I be keeping my eyes on Futaba?” 

She lowered her voice a bit so Rio wouldn’t hear. 

“If you say those magic words again.” 

“Azusagawa speaking.” 

Her voice was warm, overflowing with joy. Exactly the newlywed voice he’d wanted. 

“Sakuta, you want to marry me?” 

“Right now, I just wanna keep dating.” 

“If you’d said yes, I’d have been creeped out, but that soft rejection is also weirdly aggravating.” 

“Honestly, marriage just doesn’t seem real yet.” 

“Hmm.” She seemed unconvinced. “I suppose I agree. I don’t exactly have firsthand experience with happy families.” 

This last part sounded more like she was talking to herself. Her parents had divorced when she was little, and apparently she’d mostly lived with her mother. And most recently, they’d had a serious falling out, so they no longer lived together. 

“On second thought, I do wanna marry you eventually.” 

“Where’d that come from?” 

“Let’s make a happy home together.” 

“Yeah, yeah. So? You coming back or not?” 

“Planning on it. Gotta ask that Futaba a few things.” 

“Okay. Then I’ll see you later.” 

“Right.” 

He waited until she hung up, then put the receiver down. 

He put the remaining ten-yen coins back in his wallet and turned to leave. 

“Gah!” he said. 

Someone was standing right behind him. Maybe four or five yards away. 

Yuuma’s girlfriend—Saki Kamisato. 

“What’s with that reaction?” she asked, hands on her hips. 

“……” 

“……” 

Their eyes locked, but neither spoke. Since Sakuta had nothing to say to her, he took this as an excuse to go change into his shoes. 

“Hey,” she said, sounding annoyed. Her voice was like the poke of a needle. 

He ignored her and finished changing. 

“Pretending you can’t hear me is seriously obnoxious,” she said. 

He suppressed a sigh and turned back toward her. 

“Sorry about that. Never in all my wildest dreams did I think Saki Kamisato, supposedly the cutest girl in class, would want to talk to an outcast like me. Wow, am I ever surprised.” 

He kept his voice super flat, making sure she knew how he felt. 

“Ugh, you’re such an asshole.” 

She acted like she was peering into a dumpster. It was quite insulting. If anyone was gonna look at him that way, it should be Mai. That would’ve been a reward, but with Saki, it just sucked. 

“I realize.” 

That’s why he’d said it. He was being an asshole deliberately. But Saki didn’t deny the part where he’d said she was supposedly the cutest girl in class, which he felt took a lot of nerve. 

“So, what? Still want me to break up with Kunimi?” 

“I’m the one dating him!” 

“But I’m the only one who’s slept with him.” 

“……” 

Saki turned slightly red. 

“Does that image do it for you?” 

“No!” 

“Don’t worry, me neither. Not turning gay any time soon. I’m as straight as an arrow fired in the direction of a beautiful girl.” 

“What the hell are you even saying?” 

“If you don’t want me to be even more obnoxious, get to the point.” 

Mai was waiting at home. He wanted to leave as soon as he could. 

“……” 

Saki had been the one who approached him, but for some reason, she seemed hesitant to broach the subject. Her eyes wandered like she was searching for the right words. 

“Azusagawa, you’re friends with her?” 

“……” 

“Well?” 

“By her, do you mean Futaba?” 

“The lab coat girl.” 

“Futaba.” 

“……” 

Saki fell silent again. But this time her eyes soon met his. She always seemed really confident, so this was a new side of her. 

“Is she up to anything crazy?” 

“…What kind of crazy?” 

For a moment, he thought she meant Adolescence Syndrome, but if that was true, she’d have chosen a different phrasing. Up to indicated something more proactive than, say, mixed up in. But that didn’t make much sense to him. 

“What, like, you mean is she making bombs in the science lab?” he asked, trying to get to the bottom of this. 

“Are you a total idiot?” Saki scowled at him. 

“Then what? Spit it out,” he said, getting equally annoyed. 

“Well…” But she fell silent again. He’d never seen her at such a loss for words. But just as he was starting to get really frustrated with her, Saki dropped a bomb on him. 

“A week ago, I saw her taking a photo of the inside of her skirt.” 

“……” 

It took him a long time to grasp the meaning of that. 

“……” 

“……” 

A silence fell over both of them. The cries from the gym seemed very far away. 

“Huh?” he said, after a full five seconds. 

“Like I said! Up her own skirt, like…” 

Saki shoved her own phone under her skirt as she crossed her legs and struck a pose. Seemed like it would keep her panties just barely hidden. 

“Schoolgirls these days are into racy selfies?” 

“No!” 

“Kamisato, are you just mad horny, or…?” 

“Absolutely not!” 

“There’s a time and a place.” 

“This isn’t about me! It was the Futaba chick! God, you’re the worst! Drop dead!” 

By the last line, her tone had taken on a dire chill. She really meant it this time. Sakuta knew he’d gone a bit too far, but he didn’t let any signs of repentance show. 

“…Doesn’t seem like her to do stuff like that,” he said. 

He found Saki’s story hard to believe. 

“It’s true, though,” Saki said, nodding emphatically. 

“Huh.” 

“Yep.” 

“Huhhh.” 

“……” 

“……” 

“Is that it?!” 

Sakuta felt he was acting sufficiently astounded. This was actually a more shocking piece of news than the fact that there were two Rios. But he hadn’t witnessed this firsthand, so it didn’t feel real to him. Naturally, he wasn’t going to be as worked up about it as Saki was. 

And with Adolescence Syndrome already in the picture, Sakuta had been bracing himself for further craziness. 

“Azusagawa, you have no idea what this means.” 

“She took an upskirt selfie, right? What’s there to get?” 

“It hasn’t occurred to you to wonder who she’s showing that picture to?” 

“Uh…?” 

“Clearly not.” Saki looked disgusted. 

“No clue what that means. Not a whit.” 

Saki avoided his question while she did something on her phone. She looked like she was losing interest now. 

When she looked up from the phone, she strode over to his side, still looking bored. The breeze carried a citrus scent toward him. Probably her deodorant or whatever. 

“Like this.” 

She shoved her screen in his face. 

It was open to somebody’s social media account. The icon cut off most of the face. That made it hard to tell who it belonged to, but Sakuta had a pretty good idea. There were two small moles just under the lip on the right. Rio had two moles in the same place. 

The post below that said, Just a peek. Dated yesterday. And there was a photo attached. Showing the front of a blouse with three buttons undone, falling open in a way that was definitely tantalizing. The shot was angled like someone peering down from above her, into the valley below. 

The shot was cropped very close, but it looked like a school uniform. 

“This is her secret account.” 

“A what?” 

“An extra account you don’t tell your real-life friends about,” Saki said, sounding annoyed. 

“Huh.” 

It seemed like a really loaded term. 

“But in her case, she doesn’t seem to have a main account, so maybe extra isn’t the right word.” 

“So why do you know about Futaba’s secret account?” 

If people you knew in real life found out about it, the account wasn’t exactly secret. And there was no way you’d exchange account details with someone you weren’t friends with and almost certainly had never even spoken to. 

“I went to the science lab earlier and found her phone lying on the table,” Saki said. 

Did she just admit she snooped around on it? 

“That’s what you’re up to while your boyfriend’s playing his heart out?” 

“Don’t bring Yuuma into this!” Saki scowled at him. 

“What, are you two fighting?” 

“……” 

She looked ready to kill him. He must have hit a nerve. He knew they’d planned a beach date a few days ago… Had something gone down there? 

“Well, Futaba was careless, and you’re insane.” 

But Saki’s deranged behavior had given him a piece of information he’d never have found on his own… 

“Kamisato, are you also snooping on Kunimi’s phone?” 

“……” 

She said nothing. Just shot him another scowl every bit as terrifying as the last. Maybe that was why they were fighting. Best not to poke the bear any further. He didn’t want the full force of her anger turning on him. 

“Can I have a look?” he asked and took her phone from her. He scrolled down a bit, checking previous posts. 

He hit the end pretty quick. There were only ten posts total. The first one was her in pajamas. The fluffy type with a hood. But she was wearing shorts underneath, so the focus was definitely on her legs. Soft-looking thighs. Definitely stimulating. The accompanying text offered to take requests. 

The other posts were similar. None of them showed her face. 

The first post was dated July 25. A week ago. 

And there were a bunch of replies. 

Nice thighs! 

Cute pajamas. Wear something like these! 

That cleavage, and you’re still in school? 

A perfect I! A natural valley! Push ’em up a bit, and you’ll get a man-made Y! 

We got a boob maestro here lol. 

And so on… Pretty solid reception. Lots of people asking for more, and word had clearly spread fast. 

“Assuming this is really Futaba…” 

“It definitely is,” Saki insisted. 

“Why is she doing this?” 

“To get more followers.” 

She had over two thousand. 

“And do what with them?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Huh?” 

“Sexy shots are purely for the attention.” 

“Ah,” he said, like that made sense, but it really didn’t. He couldn’t begin to imagine why Rio would take spicy selfies or upload them online. 

It seemed stupid on the face of it. Nothing more. He was sure Rio knew exactly how ridiculous she was being. But something was driving her to do it anyway. What could it be? He had no idea. 

“What makes a girl want to do something like this?” 

“I wouldn’t know.” 

“Don’t play dumb. Just tell me.” 

“I would never do this! Are you a total idiot?” 

“But you’re taking pics like this?” 

He showed her an image from her own gallery, which he’d opened without permission. 

It was a shot of Saki with her arms around a four-foot-tall stuffed bear. One with a terrifying face that looked ready to eat her up. 

“Wh-who said you could look?! How dare you!” 

“Always important to ignore your own flaws while criticizing others.” 

Saki snatched her phone back. 

“Just ask her!” she fumed. 

Then she turned around and stalked away. 

As he watched her go, Sakuta muttered, “She has a weird way of acting concerned.” 

And she had an odd sort of moral high ground. 

“But what do I do with this?” 

With Saki out of the picture, he was left thinking about Rio again. 

He could go to the science lab and ask her directly, but there was something else bothering him about this. 

Based on the posts on the secret account Saki had shown him, Rio uploaded the first picture a week ago. Yesterday, Rio had said, “For the past three days, there have been two Rio Futabas.” In other words, at the point that first post had been uploaded, there was only one Rio. That meant Rio was uploading sexy selfies before the Adolescence Syndrome entered the picture. 

“What the hell do I do now?” 

He was aware there were high school girls who took advantage of their own sexuality, using it or…being used for it. People were mad about that on TV all the time. 

But until a few minutes ago, that had seemed like the going-ons of some far-off foreign country to him. He hadn’t paid it any attention. He’d never heard rumors about any classmates doing that sort of thing or come across any hints that something like that might be going on. 

He’d figured it would never have anything to do with him. 

But suddenly it was shoved right in his face, and not someone he barely knew, but a friend…and that fact made his guts feel queasy. 

“I’d better talk to somebody…” 

He couldn’t think of anyone who knew about that sort of thing. 

“…No, I guess I do know one person.” 

Not someone he really wanted to see. Definitely not someone he wanted to owe anything to—but who else could he ask? 

He sighed, took off his shoes, and went back to the pay phone. He took the pile of coins out of his wallet again and fished out her business card. 

4 

“Welcome!” 

Sakuta had gone back to Fujisawa Station and stepped into the restaurant he worked at. A cute girl’s voice greeted him. 

“Huh? Senpai?” 

Tomoe came out to meet him. She looked confused. She must have known he didn’t have a shift today. 

“Here as a customer.” 

“Table for one?” 

“Meeting someone. Might be a bit of a wait.” 

“Sakurajima?” Tomoe asked. The way she lowered her head there was awfully cute. 

“Nope.” 

“Kunimi?” 

“Not him, no.” 

“……” 

Apparently, she couldn’t think of anyone else Sakuta might meet. 

“An imaginary friend?” she asked. How rude. 

“I will grope you,” he said. 

Tomoe clapped her hands over her butt. 

“Most people would assume I meant boobs.” 

“I don’t have enough boobs to grope, and you know it.” 

“Whoa, when did we get so intimate?” 

“Th-that’s not what I meant!” She puffed out her cheeks. 

“You’re awfully cute.” 

“Whatever. Over here.” 

Tomoe took his praise poorly for some reason. Muttering to herself, she led him to a booth at the back. Table five. The same table Mai had been at yesterday. 

When Sakuta sat down, Tomoe asked, “Why are you in uniform?” 

“I went to school.” 

“Makeup classes?” 

“I’m not you.” 

“I don’t have those, either!” 

“Just had an errand to run.” 

“Hmph.” 

He was clearly avoiding the question, so she glared at him but didn’t ask further. 

“Put a drink bar on my tab. That’s all.” 

“Take your time,” Tomoe said, punching the order in. Then she bowed with a smile. 

The bell rang. A new customer had entered. 

“Welcome!” she called, dashing off. 

But she was back at his table a minute later. 

“Er, uh…your guest,” Tomoe said, sounding tense. She gave him a look loaded with questions—completely understandable, given who she’d led over. 

It was a woman in her late twenties, wearing an elegant white blouse and wide-leg pants that came to midcalf—definitely a grown-up fashion choice. She wore light makeup designed to make her look intelligent and active. Very much like a newscaster…which is exactly what she was. A reporter for a TV station’s news division. 

“I thought the two of us were over! Never thought you’d call, asking to meet again.” 

Fumika Nanjou sat down across from him and gave him a loaded smile. 

“You sound like we’re a married couple already separated and waiting for divorce papers.” 

“Exactly what I was going for.” 

How specific. 

“Want anything?” he asked as he handed her a menu. 

She ignored it and said, “Cheesecake-and-drink-bar combo, please,” flashing a smile at Tomoe. 

“R-right, the cheesecake/drink-bar combo,” Tomoe said as she punched it into her order pad. She looked nervous. Halfway through taking the order, she gave Sakuta a glance but didn’t dare ask about their relationship. “Take your time,” she said, like they always did. Then she left them to it. 

“She’s cute.” 

“Yep.” 

“Why do you look so smug?” 

“She’s my favorite kohai.” 

He got up, went over to the drink counter, and prepped two coffees. One ice, the other hot. 

When he got back to the seat, Fumika’s cheesecake had arrived. The tip was missing, so she’d already taken a bite. 

“Here,” he said, putting a coffee cup in front of her. 

“Thanks.” 

Her glossy lipstick touched the cup’s rim. Then she let out a small sigh. 

“So you want to talk to me about problems schoolgirls face today?” she asked. 

Fumika’s main job these days was as a secondary reporter on the midday news program. She covered all kinds of topics, including entertainment, politics, and economics. A lot of these involved societal problems and incidents affecting youths. Sakuta had called her on the assumption she’d probably talked to girls who were doing the same things Rio was. 

“I’ve interviewed plenty of girls mixed up in dating-site problems, compensated dating, or similar things,” Fumika had said on the phone. Then she said she was free and could come see him in person. “Naturally, that’s because I want to tempt you into letting me interview you eventually,” she’d cheerily admitted. 

“You probably should keep that secret.” 

“You know it even without me saying so,” she’d said, letting his critique roll off her. 

Sakuta quite liked this about her. If she weren’t so invested in probing him, he’d enjoy her company unreservedly, but as it was, he had to be on guard all the time. 

Fumika’s main motive for coming was to find out more about the Adolescence Syndrome he’d experienced. He couldn’t imagine the world would ever believe anything this crazy was real. He might just end up getting called a liar, but he also might end up with hordes of cameras following him around. 

And there was a risk of getting Mai, Tomoe, and Rio involved. 

“So what sort of case are you specifically interested in?” Fumika asked before taking another bite of cheesecake. 

“Girls uploading close-up shots of their cleavage to social media.” 

“Of their own accord? Not being tricked into it by men they met on dating sites?” 

“I think it’s voluntary.” 

“Hmm.” 

“What do you make of it?” 

“Kids these days develop so early,” Fumika said. 

Her gaze drifted over his shoulder. He glanced back and saw a group of four high school girls in uniforms who were showing their phones to one another. Their laughter echoed through the restaurant. They were totally in a world of their own. 

“When I was in high school, we had to really work at it to get anything like cleavage.” 

“I’m not interested in your development, Nanjou.” 

Under that white blouse were immutable signs she’d filled out since. 

“Yet you can’t take your eyes off them.” 

“I figured it was rude not to look after you brought them up.” 

“Men reacting like that has a lot to do with it.” 

“……” 

“There’s a demand.” 

Apparently, she’d launched into the heart of the matter. 

“When I caught you staring at me, I felt a sense of superiority.” 

“How frisky.” 

“It’s important for women that we get noticed. Of course, we don’t want just anyone looking. We don’t want weirdos after us or harassment at work.” 

“But a desire for that sense of superiority leads to uploading selfies?” 

“It’s one potential reason why their actions might escalate. They might start out with a picture of thighs or a glimpse of their underwear. Nothing too risqué. But they get likes or comments asking for more, like ‘Nice’ or ‘I wanna see more’ or ‘Show us your swimsuit next time!’ It’s quite common for that to encourage them into getting more extreme.” 

“……” 

“You look like you don’t believe me. The girls I interviewed all put it in different words, but fundamentally, they all liked feeling wanted.” 

It still didn’t make sense to him. 

“Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Girls that do this sort of thing tend to be pretty isolated.” 

“Oh…” 

“Maybe they don’t have friends at school or had a falling out with the ones they did have… Maybe their family isn’t talking anymore or is putting too much pressure on them, or they’re just not communicating their needs to one another…so they feel like nobody understands them.” 

“I see,” he said, but he definitely still didn’t grasp it. 

“But because of that, they’re constantly craving acceptance. Anyone with a kind word can fill that hollow emptiness they feel inside.” 

“And because they feel hollow, they keep escalating so that people will want them more? That’s the motivation for the selfies?” 

“Right.” 

“But what do they think about their own actions? Have they convinced themselves it’s a good thing? Do they really want to be doing that?” 

That was what was bothering him the most. 

“A second-year girl I interviewed said it always made her feel sick. Every time she took a photo of herself in her underwear, she felt embarrassed and ashamed. And was desperately afraid of not getting any responses when she uploaded it. And sometimes the replies would be full of people calling her ugly or creepy, so the anxiety never went away.” 

“Then why not stop?” 

Or was that opinion just a lazy way of avoiding understanding? 

“That anxiety and fear are real issues,” Fumika said. “The more they grow, the more thrilled you are by a positive response. Does that make sense?” 

“……” 

He nodded. He knew the intensity a roller coaster of emotions could provide. 

“So a single like can wipe out that anxiety and mean a lot to them.” 

“But they still hate what they’re doing?” 

“Yes. They’re momentarily overjoyed…and then get scared again. And are still craving approval.” 

“And to escape that isolation and fear, they do it again.” 

“They go into a downward spiral. And once you’re in one, it’s hard to pull out. You don’t want anyone around you to know about it, so you can’t ask for help. It starts out as a whim. But it often follows the trajectory I described, and then a habit forms… At least, that’s how it worked with the girls I interviewed.” 

“……” 

Sakuta kind of understood but wasn’t at all sure he really got it. 

“Then how do you approach them about it?” 

“The worst thing you can do is come in with ‘You’re being stupid.’ They know full well they’re being stupid. And they hate themselves for doing it.” 

That, he got. 

He remembered when Kaede was being bullied by her classmates. When she stopped going to school, people kept telling her to “hang in there” or accusing her of wimping out. 

But Kaede hadn’t stopped going to school by choice. She didn’t want to stay cooped up in her house. 

She hated not being able to go to school and tried desperately to overcome it. But Sakuta knew now that had just made her suffering all the worse. 

What she’d needed was understanding. She’d needed people to praise the efforts she was making. 

She wanted to go to school. She just couldn’t. And she needed people who got that. 

Sakuta didn’t figure that out until Kaede was covered in cuts. And he might not have ever wrapped his head around that if Shouko hadn’t told him. That he should tell Kaede what she wanted to hear. 

“……” 

“Well, I’m sure you know that, Sakuta.” 

Still, he was glad she’d talked to him about it. Even if he thought he understood, it was good to prepare ahead of time and make sure he took the right course of action. 

“No, thanks for the tip.” 

“Rare for you to say anything not sarcastic to me. Am I one step closer to conquering you?” 

“That’s a different subject entirely.” 

“Such a pity.” 

She didn’t seem at all disappointed. Fumika finished her cheesecake. 

“This about a friend?” 

“No comment.” 

“And after everything I told you.” 

“It’s a friend,” he admitted, not wanting to deal with more flirty teasing. 

“Then be extra careful.” 

“I intend to be.” 

He wasn’t sure there was anything he could do. 

“It’s difficult to fully erase images and words after they’re on the Internet. Once you start, it doesn’t just go away because you quit.” 

That was also a problem. People weren’t kidding when they said what you post online could permanently affect you. 

“Even if she kept her face hidden, there’s a chance people will figure out who it is, dox her…and she could get in trouble or even mixed up in crimes. Phones with GPS might surreptitiously include location information in pictures, if she hasn’t disabled that in settings.” 

Useful technology could lead to completely unintended consequences. Information spread at the speed of light in modern times. 

“The wind caught my skirt once during a live broadcast, and there are screenshots of that out there forever. Very annoying.” 

“At least you’re wanted.” 

“I was wearing black underwear, and we got these awful phone calls complaining that it was inappropriate for a daytime show. I just want to put it behind me, but I run across them sometimes doing research online, so it’s literally impossible.” 

Would black underwear have been somehow more okay at night? He couldn’t comprehend going to the trouble of complaining about something like that. 

“Well, enough about me,” Fumika said with a sly grin. 

“What?” Sakuta asked. She seemed like she wanted him to be the one to initiate. 

“What exactly is your relationship with Sakurajima?” 

“We attend the same school,” he said flatly. He took a sip of iced coffee. 

“Is that all?” 

She clearly suspected otherwise, and she had enough clues. 

Previously, Sakuta had let her take pictures of the scars on his chest in exchange for information about Mai. Then Mai had offered up the news of her return from hiatus in return for keeping those photos under wraps. 

In other words, Mai had protected him. She’d gone far beyond a simple senpai/kohai relationship. It would be weird not to suspect anything. 

“She’d never been linked to anyone before, so if she’s caught with a boyfriend, it would be a huge scandal.” 

“If that happens, I’ll definitely never let you interview me.” 

“Other networks and tabloids will be sniffing around, so be careful. I’d hate for you to turn on me because of them.” 

“Fair enough.” 

He wasn’t really sure what the impact would be, though. Mai didn’t seem to care about that sort of thing at all. They’d walked into school together all time, and she’d happily stayed over at his place last night. Was she unaware of the risks? Or was she aware of them and didn’t give a damn? He’d have to ask when he got back. 

“So?” Fumika prompted, leaning forward. 

“What?” 

“How far have you gone?” Her eyes glittered like a gossipy schoolgirl’s. 

He shot her a look of utter aggravation. 

“Have you kissed?” Fumika asked, unperturbed. 

“Nanjou.” 

“Well? Go on. Have you?” 

“You sound like a nosy grandma.” 

“It’s hardly worth keeping secret,” she said as she flopped back against her seat. 

“Do you not have a boyfriend?” he asked, trying to turn the tables. 

“Oh, you’re gonna regret asking that,” Fumika said, and she spent the next hour griping about her significant other. 

She’d been dating the same guy since college. They were the same age. He worked in sales at a telecommunications company, and they’d been living together for three years. Fumika was just waiting for a proposal, but it increasingly seemed like he didn’t plan on doing that. And the night before, he’d said something about being nowhere near as successful as her and wanting to achieve something first. 

“Achieve what?” she asked, taking it all out on Sakuta. 

“Well, if it doesn’t work out, can’t you just dump him? Find yourself a baseball player.” 

But apparently she still loved him. 

Sakuta was completely unable to care, but this was the price he paid for her intel. 

5 

After they finished, Sakuta walked back to his apartment alone. It was already seven. The sun was out of sight, but the sky was not yet entirely dark. 

As he passed a nearby park, he heard a cicada singing right next to him. All on its own. That cry belonged to a large brown cicada. During the day, there were all kinds of cicadas, and the sound could get pretty obnoxious, but on its own, the sound was rather mournful. 

“…Isolation, huh?” 

That word kept echoing through his mind. It had really leaped out at him when Fumika said it. Like a knife in his heart. 

If she was right, Rio was tormented by feelings like that. 

“She’s definitely not the type who fits in with the other girls.” 

In communities that emphasized conformity and empathy, Rio’s logical side would work against her. He was sure Rio knew that better than anyone. That’s why she was always left out by her classmates. 

Only Sakuta and Yuuma ever talked to her. Was that not enough? Or did her feelings of isolation stem from outside of school? 

“Something at home?” 

Standing here looking for the cicada wouldn’t help answer that, so he headed home. 

He’d never once been over to Rio’s house. He had no idea what it even looked like, wasn’t even sure if it was a house or an apartment. She’d never mentioned what her parents did for a living. 

The only thing he knew was that the closest station was Hon-Kugenuma, and that was one station down the Odakyu Enoshima Line from Fujisawa Station. 

It seemed sort of late to be realizing how little he knew about her. She wasn’t the type to share much on her own, and even if he did ask, she would only offer the bare minimum answer, so there was little opportunity to learn personal information during ordinary conversation. 

“Well, if I don’t know, I’ll just have to ask.” 

Watching from a distance wasn’t going to fix anything. Even if it forced him to pry, he was gonna have to get in close. 

With that thought on his mind, he looked up at the sky and let out a huge yawn. 

“I’m baaack,” he called out as he stepped through the door. 

But there was no answer. Kaede usually came running out to greet him. He gave the living room a long look, but there was no sign of her. 

“She asleep?” 

He took off his shoes and went inside. He stopped to wash his hands and gargle, then stepped into the living room. 

Kaede and two cats were taking a late nap in front of the TV. 

“Welcome back.” 

The voice came from the kitchen, so he turned toward it. Rio was standing by a pot on the stove, stirring the contents with a ladle to keep anything from burning on the bottom. 

“What are you doing, Futaba?” 

“Making curry.” 

“Dressed like that?” 

Rio was wearing her white lab coat. 

“I don’t want it splashing on me.” 

“Not an appetizing visual…” 

She totally looked like a science mage. A poker-faced, theory-spouting, logical witch. It was hard to believe she wasn’t concocting some dangerous drugs in that pot. 

“I’m following the recipe exactly, so it should be fine.” 

She had a cookbook open next to the pot. One Sakuta had bought when he and Kaede first started living together and he needed to learn how to cook. He hadn’t used it much lately and wasn’t even sure where he’d put it last. 

“Uh, so Mai…?” 

Kaede was sound asleep on the living room floor, but there was no sign of Mai. 

“She’s reading a script in your room. She said to send you in once you got back.” 

“Okay, I’ll just go change.” 

He couldn’t feel comfortable wearing his school uniform in the house. It just felt gross. 

“I always undress the moment I get home.” 

“I did not need to know that,” Rio said. She never took her eyes off the curry. 

Sakuta went to his door and knocked. “Mai, can I come in?” he called. 

“……” 

No answer. 

He’d followed the proper procedure, so if Mai happened to be changing, she had only herself to blame. 

Hoping against hope something like that would happen, Sakuta opened the door. 

“……” 

He found Mai immediately. She was lying on her back on his bed. Totally relaxed posture, eyes scanning the script in her hand. 

She was wearing a hoodie and loungewear that came to just below the knee. A rare glimpse of her calves without the usual black tights over them. 

“……” 

The look on her face was very intense. Focused like a laser, to the point where it affected the whole vibe of the room, making the very air tense. There was no way he could possibly interrupt. 

Doing his best to not make a sound, he stepped inside, carefully closing the door behind him. Then he waited on his knees in the corner. The pressure Mai was radiating inspired that level of formality. 

“……” 

He watched her chest rhythmically rise and fall. Proof she was living. She was blinking regularly, so it definitely didn’t seem like she’d fallen asleep with her eyes open. 

Not wanting to bother her, he searched for a way to pass the time. He looked around the room, and it was decidedly tidy. She really had cleaned the place. Even that three-month-old manga magazine he’d left in the corner was now neatly stacked on his desk. 

Bored, he reached out and picked it up. Like Mai had said on the phone, there was an idol group on the cover. Seven girls, maybe fifteen or sixteen years old. They had bright smiles and their outfits were a bit edgy, more rock styled. But that look was mingled with idol fashion, and the result was like a really well-done Halloween costume. A nice blend of stylish and cute. 

He turned the page and found a few more shots of those girls inside. And an article introducing each of them. The group was called Sweet Bullet. Are they the next big thing? it said in sparkly letters. 

Then his eyes lit on one profile. It gave her height, city of birth, and a list of her favorite things. And that list included Mai Sakurajima. 

Her name was Nodoka Toyohama. Sixteen years old. Everyone else had black hair, so her blond hair really stood out. Usually, people listed stuff like “Strawberries” when asked what their favorite things were… The other six sure did. 

Feeling silly for doing a deep read on the profile of some idol singers he’d never heard of, he closed the magazine and put it back on his desk. 

He looked at Mai again, and her lips were moving. Maybe she was mouthing her lines. 

“…Mai?” he said softly. Growing tired of waiting. 

“……” 

No change. 

“Maybe I can get away with doing something dirty.” 

“I can hear you.” 

At last, her eyes left the manuscript and looked at him. 

“Am I interrupting?” 

“If I didn’t want to be interrupted, I wouldn’t be reading a script here. Welcome home.” 

“Good to be back.” 

She closed the script and sat up, legs dangling over the edge of the bed. 

Sakuta sat down next to her. 

“On the floor,” she said, pointing like it was a doghouse. 

“I’m not gonna jump you,” he grumbled but moved to the floor. “Your manager came?” he asked, figuring that was what she wanted to discuss. 

“She did. And she left.” 

“You talked?” 

“We did. That’s why she was here.” 

Obviously. 

Mai seemed a little out of sorts, so he could imagine how that had gone. 

“What’d she say?” 

“She didn’t say we had to break up, but she did want us to spend some time apart.” 

Pretty much what he’d predicted. 

“Can I ask the reason for that?” 

“I only recently started working again, so a scandal this soon could really hurt me. And I just signed a commercial contract, so I need to be mindful of the impact on the sponsors. If the media gets wind of my boyfriend, the fallout could damage not just my reputation but the products I’m associated with.” 

“So if you’re not single, sports-drink sales will crash? Such power!” 

He felt like those sales probably wouldn’t be affected that much, really. 

“I understand fans getting pissed off if a hunk from a boy band dates a girl and definitely why a married actor cheating on his wife is a big deal, but if dating a kohai from school—and a thoroughly ordinary one, at that—can do my image any harm at all, the world is doomed.” 

“I completely agree.” 

“Ryouko seems to have mistaken me for a forever-pure idol.” 

Mai’s eyes turned briefly to the magazine on Sakuta’s desk. 

“Ryouko is your new manager?” 

“Yep. Ryouko Hanawa. She hates her last name, apparently. Said her nickname was Holstein as a kid.” 

Hanawa was written with the kanji for flower and ring, but it sounded like nose ring, and a little free association got you to Holstein cattle. 

That name was definitely thought up by a particularly stupid boy. Sakuta kinda liked it. 

“And just in case you’re wondering, Ryouko has a willowy build.” 

“I didn’t say anything out loud, right?” 

With a name like Holstein, he had immediately assumed she was sporting quite a rack, but he knew better than to admit that. 

“She said the irony just made it worse.” 

“Mind if I ask a rude question?” 

“……” Mai fell silent, shooting him a look of contempt. 

“I was only going to ask about her age.” 

He certainly hadn’t been considering asking for her bust size. 

“She’s twenty-five. Been working there three years.” 

“So you agreed to this twenty-five-year-old Hanawa’s proposal?” 

“It isn’t something I can unilaterally decide on my own, so I tabled the decision.” 

“You mean because it affects both of us?” 

“Yes. This is our problem.” 

He liked the sound of that. Their problem. 

But the solution to the problem was never really in question. No matter how you looked at it, they only had one choice. 

And Mai knew it, which was why she was in a bad mood. 

“I guess we gotta, huh? For a while, at least.” 

That was their only option. 

So Sakuta thought saying so would be the end of it. 

“What do you mean, we gotta?” 

All expression had left her face and voice. 

Her earlier irritation had been directed at her agency and manager. But now she was coming for Sakuta’s throat. 

It was a quiet fury, but she was clearly very angry. 

“Huh? Why are you mad? Are you mad at me?” he asked with exaggerated fear. He felt like if he took this seriously, this might turn into a real fight. 

Mai relaxed a little, making a show of glaring at him. 

“Don’t try to wriggle out of this,” she said. 

This was scary, too, but not that scary. It was a playful sort of anger. 

“It’s a strategic retreat.” 

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.” 

“I don’t pick fights I can’t win.” 

“Liar. You fight when you have to.” 

“That just makes me sound cool.” 

“Saying that yourself totally ruins the effect.” 

She threw the script at him. It bounced off his head. 

“Ow. If this leads to me developing a new fetish, you’re to blame.” 

“……” 

“Sorry, bad joke.” 

“Are you okay with this? With not seeing me?” 

“I mean, if you think about it, we already aren’t seeing each other much.” 

“You’re still saying that after last night?” 

Her eyes bore into him. This was alarming, so he went back to being serious. 

“Honestly, I hate the very idea.” 

“……” 

“But…your manager also has a point. You’ve just started back up. It makes sense to be on your best behavior to get back in everyone’s good graces.” 

“How boringly sensible.” 

She grumbled, but he was pretty sure she’d made up her mind, too. Mai had known things would turn out like this from the start. But she’d made the choice to talk things through and treat it like a problem that affected them both. 

With the conflict resolved, the door slowly swung open. Kaede peeked around the doorframe. She’d woken up from her late nap. 

“You’re home?” she said. 

“Yep.” 

“You two done with your talk?” 

“We are.” 

“Then Rio says it’s currytime.” 

“As opposed to dinnertime?” 

“Oh, that smells good.” 

Mai was right. The air was filled with the aroma of spices. 

Rio had made legit slow-cooked curry. 

“Futaba, you’ll make a great wife one day.” 

“Curry tastes the same no matter who makes it.” 

Rio did not seem at all embarrassed, like this was totally normal. 

“Well, the way you made it seemed more like a mad experiment.” 

She’d used the full range of measuring spoons, while Sakuta tended to eyeball everything. He could definitely picture Rio weighing every ingredient down to the milligram just like she did in the science lab. 

He was fairly certain that was exactly what she’d done, even if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. Between that and the lab coat apron, he’d expected a far more medicinal curry. 

When the four of them finished eating, Sakuta walked Mai outside. They took the elevator down together and stepped into the street. 

The sky above them was dark now. It was half past eight, after all. But there were no clouds, so the deep blue was quite striking. 

Mai lived in the apartment building across the street, so the trip there took less than a minute. 

They stopped just outside the doors to her building. 

“Good night, Mai.” 

“Mm. Good night, Sakuta.” 

“Bye.” He raised one hand in a wave and started to turn back. 

“…Oh, wait,” Mai said, her voice soft. 

“Want a good-bye hug?” 

“……” 

“Wait, really?” 

“No… Well, not entirely wrong, but…” 

Mai looked around them. 

“Mai?” 

“It’s just, we won’t be able to see each other for a while.” 

“Yeah.” 

He couldn’t say he was happy about that, but they’d talked it out and agreed it had to be done. 

“This might be the last time we see each other until school starts again.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll hunt down a secluded corner of the school where no one will see us together.” 

“But you’re okay with this?” 

“Huh?” 

“Just saying good-bye like this?” 

She looked up at Sakuta. It was tempting. Her face was turned slightly downward, like she was embarrassed, but her eyes never left him. 

“Um…” 

He was the first to break eye contact. He glanced toward the road to the station. 

“There’s no one here,” Mai said, looking around. 

He shivered. 

“And no suspicious cars stopped nearby.” 

They didn’t have to worry about foot traffic, and there were no paparazzi in sight. 

He couldn’t very well back down now. There was nowhere to run. 

Sakuta put his hands on Mai’s shoulders. 

“……” 

“……” 

Their eyes locked together for a few seconds, then Sakuta leaned in, and Mai closed her eyes. Was that a reflex? She lowered her chin, as if she’d tensed up. Sakuta bent his knees a little, like he was peering into her face, and then their lips touched. 

“Mm…” 

A soft sound escaped her nose. He felt the warmth of her breath on his cheek. It tickled. He was so focused on his lips he’d forgotten to breathe himself. When he started to need air, he pulled away. 

Mai looked up at him like nothing had happened. But she couldn’t hide the blush on her cheeks. 

“……” 

“……” 

“S-say something.” 

“That was delicious.” 

“Idiot.” 

A bit of false bravado there. 

“Can I have a second helping?” 

“You really are an idiot.” 

This time she actually meant it. She shook her head at him. The awkwardness faded away. He missed it immediately. 

“Next time,” she said. 

“Aw. You’ve lit a fire in me, and I can’t be restrained anymore!” 

“This isn’t mating season, and you aren’t a monkey, so you can and you will.” 

“That’s exactly what I am. I’m a monkey in heat, and it’s all your fault, Mai.” 

“I don’t need a monkey for a boyfriend.” 

“I was only doing what you begged me to do.” 

“I didn’t beg!” 

She glared at him. 

“Are you suuure?” 

“I am.” 

“But it was so cute, Mai.” 

“That won’t save you. You get far too carried away.” 

“……” 

“Dead-fish eyes won’t save you, either.” 

“I was going for abandoned-puppy eyes.” 

“You have no acting talent. Possibly negative acting talent.” 

A brutal review. 

“Well, good night.” 

“……” He tried a wordless protest. 

“Sakuta, you have to say good night, too.” Like she was scolding a child’s manners. 

“Good night,” he said robotically. 

“I’ll call, at least.” 

“Wow. Can’t wait.” 

She gave him a long, exasperated sigh. 

“Fine, this is the one time I’m letting you get away with this,” she said very quickly. 

Then she took a step closer to him. She stretched up and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. A very short one, barely a brush. 

“Now we don’t get to kiss next time.” 

“What?! There’s a hard limit?!” 

“Absolutely.” 

Mai grinned, having toyed with him enough for now. She turned around like a dancer and went back to the doors of her building. Sakuta watched until she was out of sight. 

“Crap, now I’m really in heat. What do I do with all this passion?!” 

He couldn’t stay turned on until the sun rose. Circumstances didn’t allow it. He still had things to do tonight. 

He had to go back home and have a serious conversation with Rio. 

“Maybe I could leave Futaba till tomorrow…” 

Probably not, though. Sighing, he turned to go. 

6 

When Sakuta got back from walking Mai home, Kaede was in the bath. Rio was sitting at the dining room table, reading a hardcover book. Maybe a novel? 

Sakuta had planned to clean the kitchen, but it was already taken care of. The pot and plates were on the drying rack. The leftover curry was hibernating in Tupperware in the fridge. 

“Thanks, Futaba.” 

“Mm,” she grunted, not looking up from the book. “You sure took your time with it,” she added. 

That seemed like a loaded statement, but perhaps unintentionally. It seemed more like she was just stating the facts as she saw them. 

“What are you reading?” 

“Your sister said it was good, so…” 

She lifted the cover so he could see. The Naked Prince and the Grumpy Witch, by Kanna Yuigahama. Kaede’s favorite writer. 

Sakuta had read several books by her at Kaede’s urging but never really got into them. They tended to have ambiguous endings that left a bad taste in his mouth. Kaede said that wasn’t the point, but… 

“Another depressing story?” 

“Mm? Not really… So far it’s just about an ordinary girl excited because she finally has a boyfriend.” 

That certainly sounded uplifting. 

“The boyfriend is super popular, so she’s always wondering if a girl like her is really good enough for him, and every time a better-looking girl gets close to him, she starts thinking they’re obviously the superior choice and gets really anxious. But she can’t just admit that, so she takes those emotions out on her boyfriend.” 

That was very specific. And this girl sounded like a real pain in the ass. 

“Is that…fun?” he asked, genuinely unsure. 

“I think so. I can empathize with her messed-up personality.” 

“I guess that’s one way to enjoy things…” 

“Girls are all about conformity. And empathy,” Rio said analytically. She was a girl herself, but it sounded like she tried to have an objective perspective on it. Which made him wonder if she was actually enjoying the novel. 

“Done with my bath and piping hot!” Kaede said. Sakuta grabbed a sports drink from the fridge and handed it to her. “Now I’m ice-cold!” 

“Futaba, the bath’s all yours.” 

“……” 

Rio finally took her eyes off the book, but only to give him a look of contempt. 

“Just for the record, I have no intention of doing anything with the broth you leave behind after your bath,” he insisted. 

“Azusagawa.” 

“You get me, right?” 

“The fact that you even used the term broth is punishable by death.” 

“…Then I’d better take my bath first, huh?” 

“Yes. This is a good part anyway.” 

Rio’s eyes were flicking up and down, following the lines. 

“They about to kiss?” 

“She’s discipling her boyfriend with an expression like she just found some vomit on the sidewalk.” 

That was certainly beyond his wildest expectations. 

“That does sound interesting. I’ll have to read it when you’re done.” 

And with that, he headed into the bathroom. 

He undressed and promptly scooped some hot water onto his head. Then he got a sponge lathered up with body soap. He started by cleaning his right arm, like always, then tossed the sponge to his right hand and polished the rest of his body. When he was done, he rinsed the soap off and shampooed his scalp. Finally, he washed his face. He used the showerhead to make sure he was thoroughly cleaned before lowering himself into the bath. After a total of ten seconds, he got out. 

“Futaba, the bath’s all yours.” 

“I’ve seen crows bathe longer than you.” 

“It’s summer. I’m hot enough already.” 

He definitely stayed in longer during winter. 

Rio stuck a bookmark between the pages, thanked him, and went into the changing room. The door shut firmly behind her. But the only locks in this apartment were for the toilet and the front door. 

He could hear cloth swishing through the door. But sitting with his ears perked up was creepy, so he moved over to the fan and turned it on. The breeze felt great on his bath-warmed skin. 

“I come from space,” he said, using the fan to imitate an alien. He was immediately ashamed of himself. 

After cooling himself for a good five minutes, he stood up and went to the bathroom. 

He opened the door to the changing room. A dull sound echoed from the bath. The washbowl scraping on the floor. 

He could see a girl’s silhouette through the clouded glass door. Her back to him. Busy washing herself. 

“Futaba, can I ask you something?” 

“Can I ask you something first?” 

“Mm?” 

“Why do you insist on having these talks while I’m bathing?” 

“’Cause it’s thrilling knowing there’s a naked girl on the other side of the door.” 

“……” 

“And some topics are easier if we aren’t looking each other in the eye.” 

“Like what?” 

She sounded guarded but started lathering herself up again. 

Sakuta sat down on the floor of the changing room, avoiding the area by the door. This next conversation was gonna last awhile. 

“What’s your home like?” 

“Why do you want to know?” 

“An apartment?” he asked, ignoring her reticence. “A house?” 

“A house.” 

“Big one?” 

“Bigger than some.” 

“Are you secretly rich?” 

“Maybe a bit,” she admitted. 

But the way she spoke, it was almost like they weren’t talking about her. Like it was her parents who were rich, not her. 

“What do your parents do?” 

“Dad’s a doctor.” 

“Wow.” 

“Hardly unusual.” 

“Your family own a hospital?” 

“Not a private practice. He works at the university hospital.” 

“So he’s constantly embroiled in power struggles at work?” 

“It’s like you know him.” 

“Wow.” 

He could hear her rinsing off. Then Rio’s silhouette moved to the bath. 

“What about your mom?” 

“She runs a boutique for brand-name imports.” 

“A real-life small business owner?” 

“They exist. What’s your point, Azusagawa?” She sounded calm. He figured that meant she’d already worked out that he’d uncovered at least one secret. “What did the fake tell you?” 

“My source is a bit more complicated.” 

No way she could have guessed Saki would be involved. 

“But I know what you’ve been doing.” 

“Oh.” 

That was it. No emotion to her voice. Like she was talking to herself. 

“……” 

“……” 

“I made that account before summer vacation started,” Rio said reluctantly. “But I didn’t know what to post in it.” 

This sounded like the start of a grade-schooler’s essay. 

“Just post whatever,” Sakuta said. “Tweet about how you’re in love with a handsome guy, but he’s got a girlfriend.” 

“Would that be fun for strangers to read?” 

“Aren’t girls all about empathy?” 

“People would just think I’m a weirdo. ‘Shut up, frumpy.’” 

“Harsh!” 

He’s certainly never found Rio off-putting. She could be a little uptight, sure, but that was part of her appeal. 

“I certainly don’t have the nerves of steel it takes to ask a famous actress out in front of the entire school.” 

“What you’re doing takes more guts than anything I’ve ever done.” 

“……” 

“I’ve known you for over a year, but you’ve never shown me any cleavage like that.” 

“Why would I show you anything?” 

“If you don’t care who you show yourself to, why not show me?” 

“You really are an idiot.” 

“That’s what Mai said.” 

And for pretty much the exact same reason. 

“I guess that’s what I don’t get. You usually have your guard up about that kind of stuff, right?” 

“…You can be irritatingly perceptive sometimes, Azusagawa.” 

“You’re just not that complicated.” 

She wore her skirt longer than most students, and she always kept all the buttons on her blouse done up. At this seaside school, tons of girls rolled into class without their uniform vests, but she kept a white lab coat on all the time. Which had long sleeves, and a long hem that hid her legs still further. 

“You know that about me, yet you still harass me all the time.” 

“I’m pretty careful not to cross the line into something that would really bother you.” 

“You’re a dick.” 

“So what? You got so fed up with me, you decided to make some new friends online?” 

“I dunno… I don’t think that’s it.” 

“Is it something else?” 

“It’s much more basic than that. I just wanted attention from somebody,” she said, mocking herself. There was no sense of drama. She wasn’t unleashing anything pent-up inside. All that came out was her usual flat voice. 

But that was what worried Sakuta. It would be a lot easier to resolve this if there was a clear trigger that had made Rio decide to start uploading selfies. But there wasn’t. The only cause he could see was a simple accumulation of gloomy thoughts. The daily grind had brought her here, not anything dramatic. 

One drop of depression after another, filling her cup until it overflowed. That was what it seemed like. 

Those emotions just slowly sank their teeth into her heart. Without Sakuta ever realizing anything was wrong. 

“Jumping straight to horny posts is basically cheating.” 

“That was all I could think to do.” 

“If anything, I’m surprised you’re so confident in your sex appeal.” 

“Confident? Ha. I’ve got nothing but baggage there.” 

That made sense. She wouldn’t be so guarded about it otherwise. 

“In junior high…I developed before the other girls. And the boys in our class were a pack of chimps, and I knew how they saw me.” 

“‘Futaba’s boobs are craaazy!’ or whatever?” 

“Someone literally said that.” 

Sakuta had been a chimp-like junior high boy himself once, so he knew only too well what they were like. He wasn’t even sure he’d evolved that much since then. But at that age, everyone was very conscious of girls’ bodies. A bra strap seen through a uniform blouse was a big deal. The early bloomers in class would naturally get a lot of attention. And in Rio’s case, she’d been the one who was singled out. 

“After school one day, I was on cleaning duty. I came back from taking out the trash and heard the boys talking about me. And I’ve hated my body ever since. It felt like I was something filthy…” 

It was a sensitive age, so major shocks at that time of life could stay with you for years. Even if it only happened once, if it stuck in your mind, it would inevitably change the way you acted permanently. But no one would’ve realized that at the time… 

“Sorry.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” 

“On behalf of all chimp boys.” 

She laughed. He thought she sounded a bit relieved. 

“But I just couldn’t handle having boys stare at me after that,” she explained. 

He could understand that easily. But not how that led to what she was doing now. 

“So why those photos?” 

It seemed like a huge reversal. Rio hated guys ogling her. But she was uploading raunchy photos—even if she did hide her face in them. 

“If I uploaded, people would react.” 

“You like having dirty old men panting over you?” 

“If you can choose who pays attention to you, that means you’re attractive enough to command a selection. We can’t all be wanted in the way we’d like.” 

“I don’t wanna hear this real shit.” 

“It didn’t matter who it was. Getting any response made me feel better.” 

“That’s basically admitting it wasn’t what you really wanted.” 

“That’s why, I guess. I couldn’t get rid of the loathing that came with being seen. I felt a huge amount of stress from the conflict between my goal and the means I was using to achieve it. And I think that contradiction split my consciousness. If I think of it that way, lots of things make sense.” 

A calm, rational analysis. 

“So you’ve split into ‘Futaba who wants attention’ and ‘Futaba who can’t accept what it takes to get it’?” 

He knew that sounded like lunacy. But that seemed to be the essence of what Rio was saying. 

“I doubt the split is that simple or clear. But you’re probably headed in the right direction, at least.” 

“Hmm…” 

He looked up at the ceiling. The fluorescent light was flickering. He should probably replace it with an LED, but they were so expensive… His mind wandered briefly, but those thoughts soon faded. 

“Seems like the other Futaba’s still uploading.” 

“I know. I was monitoring it at the Internet café. I considered deleting the account outright, but she’d already changed the password.” 

“So what now?” 

“Nothing,” she said, sounding like she’d given up. 

“Nothing?” 

“She’s me, so I know. She won’t just stop. If it was that easy, we never would’ve started.” 

“I didn’t say anything about how easy it would be to make her stop.” 

“……” 

“I’m asking what you want to do, Futaba.” 

“I’d like her to stop.” 

“Got it. Leave it to me.” 

He didn’t have a clue how to make that happen, and he didn’t think she’d listen to a lecture from him. Like Rio said, if it was as simple as just wanting to quit what she was doing, she never would have started at all. 

This wasn’t a logical situation. If logic would resolve it, Rio would have settled it without his help. 

But she couldn’t, so here they were. 

He got to his feet. 

“What are you planning, Azusagawa?” 

“I’m gonna go to school tomorrow.” 

“And?” 

“I’ll have a leisurely chat with her.” 

“And then?” 

“Go to school again the next day.” 

“And I’m guessing you’ll talk to her again?” 

“Probably.” 

“What a nightmare.” 

“I mean, if I asked the other you to hit the beach with me, you’d say no, right?” 

“One hundred and twenty percent no.” A very convincing statement. Rio herself said it, so it must be true. “It was just like you said. Some things really are easier to discuss if we can’t see each other.” 

Sakuta pretended not to hear this and left the changing room. He was already racking his brain as his problems multiplied…