Chapter 4 – A Night of Rain Washes it All Away
1
When Sakuta woke up, there was a white cat in front of him. Hayate. It was hopping on and off him. Growing up strong.
He sat up and looked around. He knew this place. It was his living room. He must have been asleep on the floor.
His brain finally started moving, and he remembered coming home that morning.
He looked at the clock. It was six in the evening. He’d been out for twelve hours. But still felt like crap. Still sleepy.
His brain told him he had to make dinner, so Sakuta rose to his feet. He decided to wash the sweat off first.
The lukewarm shower felt good.
By the time he left the bathroom, he was fully awake. He went back to the living room in his underwear just as Kaede emerged from her bedroom.
“You’re awake!” she said.
“Morning, Kaede.”
“You call this morning?!”
“Futaba in her room?” His room was hers now.
“No, she’s not back yet.”
“Huh? She went out?”
“Yes, right after you got back. She said she wanted to do some shopping.”
“Shopping?”
It had been something like six AM when he got home. Who went shopping that early? The only thing open at that hour was the market where chefs stocked up at.
Sakuta opened his bedroom door. Rio’s room.
“……”
It was a bit too spotless. None of Rio’s things remained, and she’d probably cleaned on top of that.
He’d just taken a shower, but he was already sweating again.
“That idiot!”
Letting the white-hot impulse drive him, Sakuta turned and ran toward the door. He flung it open and stepped outside. But he soon slowed to a stop.
He’d realized he didn’t know where he was going.
Also, he was in his underwear. Even in the Cool Biz age, the world was not ready. He was at least ten years ahead of the bleeding edge. He’d have to wait until the dawn of the Dangerous Cool Biz age.
Sakuta went back inside and put on some cargo shorts. While he pulled his T-shirt on, he moved to the phone.
He punched in a friend’s number. Rio’s cell phone.
“……”
It rang for a long time, but she didn’t pick up. Eventually, it went to voice mail.
“It’s me. Azusagawa. Where are you? Not coming back? If you hear this, gimme a call. Mandatory.”
He hung up. The message was probably futile. He picked the receiver up again to get in touch with the other Rio.
“……”
But as he was about to dial, he realized he didn’t know her home phone number. Back in grade school, they’d had class directories with everyone’s contact information, but he hadn’t seen anything like that in high school. And he’d never needed that information before now.
“Kaede, I gotta leave.”
“Right now?”
She looked so sad, he gave her a head pat.
“Sorry.”
“N-no, it’s not your fault. I’ll be fine.”
“Reheat some curry for dinner.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll probably be back late. Don’t stay up.”
“I’ll wait as long as it takes!” Kaede declared.
He rubbed her head again and left the house.
He hopped on his bike and raced through the neighborhood. He headed to Fujisawa Station first. He considered hopping on a train to Hon-Kugenuma but figured it was only one station away and the bike would get him to Rio’s faster.
The wind on his face had a strange heat to it. And it was very humid. He was old enough to have worked out what that meant.
A typhoon was on its way.
Without slowing down, Sakuta took a look at the sky. Heavy clouds loomed overhead. Strange shapes writhed above, like they were alive, flowing north.
“Won’t be long…”
No sooner had the words left his mouth than a huge drop of water hit his forehead. A second and third hit his body, and then the sky split open.
It was suddenly raining so hard the world around him looked white.
“You’ve gotta be kidding!”
His T-shirt was already heavy and clinging to him.
He considered turning back, but he’d still end up just as wet.
“This sucks! Dammit!”
Swearing aloud, he pedaled harder.
By the time he got to Rio’s house, even his underwear was soaked. It was gross, but he was past complaining.
He pressed the button on the intercom.
He was worried her parents would answer, but it was Rio.
“Azusagawa?” Her voice came over the speaker.
“How’d you know?”
“Camera.”
“So high-tech!”
“Hardly unusual. Come in.”
The gate opened, and Sakuta pushed his bike into the front yard. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to a house this upscale. And dripping water everywhere just made him feel even more impoverished. It felt like the house would reject him on sight.
While he parked his bike, Rio poked her head out the door. In her fluffy pajamas.
“What’s up?”
“Futaba’s gone missing.”
“Huh?”
“She was there when I got back this morning. Then I passed out, and when I woke up…she’d taken all her things and vanished.”
“Just to be clear, we haven’t fused back together.”
“Didn’t think so.” It hadn’t seemed likely. They’d need a reason for that. “Any idea where she’d go?”
“School, maybe,” Rio said. She didn’t have to think for long. It was like she knew the answer. “If the other me is trying to avoid you and us, then…she’s probably there. If I was looking for the last place I wasn’t alone, that’s where I’d go.”
There was a real conviction in her eyes. He didn’t dare doubt her.
“Got it. Thanks.”
There was a huge flash of lightning and a deafening burst of thunder.
“Eep!”
Rio clapped her hands over her ears.
“Never heard you make that noise.”
“I-it caught me off guard!”
Before she could even finish her excuse, there was another flash. The noise was almost instant. Very close.
“Eep!”
“……”
“No,” she said, glaring at him.
“If you’re scared, call Kunimi.”
“Not happening.”
“Just be like, ‘I’m scaaaared’ and make him give you a hug.”
“I would never.”
“One thing leads to another, then what’s done is done, and he’d have to take responsibility.”
“No one would be happy with that arrangement.”
“Well either way, good luck with that.”
Sakuta hopped back on his bike.
“I’m coming.”
“You watch the house. Uh…also, tell me your home phone number.”
Rio went back inside and scribbled it on a Post-it. He took it from her.
“I’ll call if I learn anything. And…”
“She might come here?” Rio said, jumping ahead of him.
She looked nervous. Maybe thinking about those stories about meeting your doppelgänger and dying. With two Rio Futabas, you couldn’t very well ignore them, urban legend or not. Nobody knew for sure what would happen if they met. And Rio’s own hypothesis had been equally dire.
“If that happens…have a rational conversation.”
“Even if I intend to…”
He knew what she meant. There was no telling what the other Rio might do. Given their assumptions about why she’d left Sakuta’s house, there was certainly a chance things could turn ugly. If the two of them couldn’t merge together again, then only one of them could go on living as Rio Futaba. They’d have to consider the possibility of two Rios fighting for one position.
Bracing himself for the worst, Sakuta rode off. All he could do now was find the missing Rio as soon as possible.
He considered heading back to Fujisawa Station and taking the Enoden to school but quickly abandoned the idea.
He had long since been soaked to the bone, so hopping on a train would be a bad idea. Someone would have to clean up after him.
Also, he was worried about the wind. It was getting pretty strong. Between the winds and the rain, there was a decent chance the trains would get suspended. And then he’d be stuck.
So he left Rio’s house and headed toward Enoshima.
Followed the road south onto Route 134.
This road ran along the coast.
It would take him all the way to Shichirigahama. A little over a mile.
There was a strong wind blowing from the ocean. The water’s surface was pitch-black, and the bay’s usual gentle rocking was replaced with the churn of tall waves.
He narrowed his eyes, fighting the horizontal rain until he passed Enoshima. He couldn’t even see the lanterns that should have been lit this time of day, this time of year. Maybe they’d put them away before the storm rolled in.
The wind buffeted his body. Several times it almost knocked him over.
It was a busy road, so that was extra scary, and the cars sprayed tons of water in his direction.
“Ah, dammit! This blows!”
Nobody was listening, but the howl of the wind swallowed his words all the same.
“I hate this!”
He kept yelling. He didn’t slow down. When he saw Shichirigahama, he started standing on his pedals, going even faster.
“You’re a pain in the ass, Futaba!”
He saw Shichirigahama Beach every day, but it looked totally different now. It always had the kind of waves surfers crave, but now the view just made you gulp.
Sakuta turned away from it, pouring the last of his strength into the path to school.
“Ugh… Argh, I’m gonna puke…”
Staggering, he parked his bike outside the closed gates.
Then he climbed over them and stepped onto the Minegahara grounds.
No one here. The Bon holiday ran August 13 (today) to August 16. Students weren’t allowed in school during the interim. He thought they might have a teacher posted, but he couldn’t see any evidence to support that idea. The front doors were closed, too.
“If I came all this way and she’s not here, I’m gonna cry,” he grumbled.
He went around the back, outside the science lab windows.
The other Rio had told him about a window with a broken latch. The second window from the back.
“This one.”
He put his hand on the glass and pulled sideways. It opened right up.
He got his foot over the sill and clambered inside.
“You here, Futaba?”
No answer.
“No?”
Still no answer.
He took off his shoes and socks. Then pulled off his T-shirt and wrung it out in the sink. A fascinating amount of water came out of it. That left his shorts. Since there was no one here, he took off his underwear, too, and wrung everything out. It was like dumping a bucket down the drain.
He couldn’t exactly wander around the school buck naked, so he put the gross damp clothes back on. It was horrible, but he didn’t have a choice.
The biggest problem was that Rio wasn’t in the science lab.
The other Rio had said she would be at school, so Sakuta had just assumed she would be here.
But she wasn’t.
Maybe she wasn’t at school at all.
But no sooner had the thought crossed his mind than his eyes found evidence to the contrary. There was a phone on the lab table by the blackboard. He picked it up, turning the screen on. It was Rio’s.
She had definitely come here at some point. Whether she was still here was another question.
Trying not to panic, Sakuta went to look for her.
But where to? He decided to check the second-year classes to start. Maybe she’d be in her classroom.
On the way to the stairs, he passed the first-year classrooms. Minegahara High put each year on a different floor. First-years were on the ground floor, second-years on the second floor, and third-years on the third floor.
The door to classroom 1-1 was partly open.
“……”
This had been their room last year. Sakuta, Rio, and Yuuma had all spent time there together.
He flung the door open and stepped in.
Someone jumped.
Rio was at the back, by the windows. Sitting on a chair, arms around her knees, staring at him in shock.
“Azusagawa, why…?”
“Ugh, that was a nightmare!” he said, flopping down in a nearby chair. He’d chosen one far from her, right in front of the teacher’s podium. This had been his seat in the third term last year. It gave him an excellent view of the blackboard.
“……”
He could feel Rio’s eyes drilling into his back. She clearly had her hackles up.
He pretended not to notice.
“Yesterday…no, this morning. I forgot to tell you something.”
“…What?”
“Wanna go see the fireworks next week?”
“Huh?”
This clearly hadn’t been what she was expecting. She must have thought he would yell at her.
“The Enoshima Fireworks! We went last year, right?”
“I know that, but…”
She sounded almost annoyed. Mad at him.
“Kunimi’ll be there.”
“……”
“We’re talking about doing what you suggested last year and watching from Kugenuma Beach.”
“I…”
“You’re in, right?”
“…No.”
“You got other plans?”
“I’m going to vanish.”
It sounded like she was stifling all emotions.
“You won’t see me again. I’m going to disappear.”
Quiet and cold.
“What the hell are you even saying?” he said, keeping his voice light, ignoring that whole vibe.
“The world doesn’t need two Rio Futabas.”
The other one had said the same thing. They were the same person, so that made sense. And that fact came as a relief. They were both Rio.
“If I’m gone, then this can finally end.”
“Will it, though?”
“The other me stopped posting nasty pictures, right?”
“Yeah, she said so.”
“She’s living in that big empty house.”
“Yep.”
“She’s going to school every day, keeping the Science Club running.”
“Sometimes she skips out to watch Kunimi practice.”
“There’s nothing stopping her from being Rio Futaba.”
She was filling in the moats, backing herself into a corner. Closing herself off. Trying to eliminate herself. What must that feel like?
“The first-years on the basketball team thought the other Futaba was cute. They were all excited about it.”
“All the more reason. The other me is far better at being Rio Futaba than I am.”
Another piece fell into place. A piece in the puzzle of despair.
“The other me is a part of this world.”
One more.
“Her Rio Futaba has a happy life.”
The puzzle was almost complete. No, it was complete. All that was left…
“If I vanish, it solves everything.”
…was to throw away the leftover pieces.
“That’s not how you solve proofs,” Sakuta said. Maintaining a normal tone of voice.
“I’ve made no mistakes. I’d get full marks.”
“You’ve made a huge mistake! A fundamental one!”
“Then…!” she yelled. There was a crash. She’d jumped to her feet. “Why’d you show me that photo?!”
“……”
Sakuta looked down at the phone in his hand. The lock screen had been set to the photo of himself with Rio and Yuuma. It felt cheap to put it in words, but that photo was proof of the intangible. It was a symbol of their friendship.
“There’s nowhere left for me to be!” she wailed, a quiver in her voice. “It should be me in that picture, but it isn’t! What other possible meaning could that have?!”
He heard her sniff.
“You don’t need me anymore. You or Kunimi. You both like that one better!”
That’s why she was crying, he thought. Crying her eyes out, like she’d lost everything.
“You’re such a jerk!!”
She suddenly turned on him. Her eyes were definitely boring into his back. He could feel her gaze stabbing into him.
But despite that, he laughed it off.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “I can’t believe you’d say that now, Futaba.”
“Say what?”
“You know I’m a jerk! You tell me that all the time.”
“…Only a jerk would say that now! Azusagawa…!”
Before she could say anything else, he said, “So we’ll see you at Kugenuma Beach on the nineteenth. We’re meeting up at half past six.”
Like they were just hanging out in the science lab. Like he was just teasing her about her crush on Yuuma.
Rio fell silent.
“That’s all I got to say,” Sakuta said.
He put the phone back in his pocket and stood up. He’d kept his eyes on the blackboard the whole time, never once looking back at her.
The rest was her problem. If she didn’t reach out to take his hand, he had no intention of doing anything else. He didn’t have the power to draw someone back from the edge of despair. Thinking he could would just be arrogance.
So there was no reason for him to stick around. He took a step toward the door.
But as he did, his vision blurred. He staggered. He barely had time to realize this was what it meant to be“dizzy” before he passed out.
“Azusagawa?!” Rio yelped. It sounded far away.
Everything went black. He couldn’t see a thing. He briefly caught a glimpse of the pattern on the floor, or maybe it was just dirt. But that was it. His mind shut off completely.
2
He was swaying. There were vibrations coming from below, and sometimes he was pulled to one side or the other.
He could hear someone talking.
He tried opening his eyes.
Not the usual ceiling. But he’d seen it once before. And he recognized the sirens. He could hear rain beating against the windows and the squeak of windshield wipers.
“You’re awake?” a man asked, leaning over. He was in his midthirties, wearing an EMS uniform.
“Azusagawa.”
Rio’s voice, from nearby. She sounded worried.
“Uh…did I pass out?”
He remembered feeling really dizzy. And then everything had gone black…and now he was here.
“You’re dehydrated. You likely passed out from a mild case of heatstroke.”
That word was all over the TV this time of year. He never thought it would happen to him.
“Are you in any pain? You might have injured yourself when you collapsed.”
The EMS worker was keeping it simple.
“……”
Sakuta checked himself, but nothing really hurt.
“No pain,” he said.
“She says you hit your head pretty hard, so we’ll take a look when we reach the hospital just to be safe.”
“Okay.”
Best to do as he was told here.
Only an idiot would collapse and then insist they were fine.
It took about ten minutes to reach the hospital, and then Sakuta was taken to a pretty ordinary exam room. He’d been half hoping to see the sort of ER that shows up on TV, but no such luck.
The doctor who examined him was young, in his late twenties.
“We’re gonna run a CT scan on your head, just in case,” he said.
Sakuta was taken to a different floor. Like the doctor ordered, a huge machine took a scan of his head, and then he walked back to the first exam room.
“Let’s put an IV in you, just in case.”
That was a mildly concerning phrase to hear several times, but he had to trust the doctor. He lay down and let them prick his arm. An IV was pulled over to the bed, and a tube hooked up to him.
“I’ll check in when that’s done,” the doctor said and hustled off.
Maybe there were other patients in worse shape.
Sakuta lay still, watching the IV drip. He soon drifted off to sleep.
When he next woke up, it was because of an odd sensation on his cheek. A sharp little pain, like someone pinching him.
Fighting off the drowsiness, Sakuta opened his eyes.
“Morning,” a beautiful girl said, looking grumpily down at him. She had a tight grip on his cheek. That was why it hurt.
“……”
He gave her a long look.
“Why the long stare?”
“I’ve got a really beautiful senpai.”
“You’re gonna be just fine.”
Sakuta sat up. He didn’t feel dizzy anymore. The IV was empty, and the tube had been taken out. There was some gauze taped over where the needle had been.
“So, Mai…is this a punishment for something?”
She had yet to let go of his cheek.
“For making Kaede worry and then having the nerve to sleep so peacefully.”
“I see. That makes sense.”
He deserved it.
“I’m sorry.”
“Apologize to her. Give her a call, now.”
“Okay,” he said, getting up.
He was about to borrow her phone but then wasn’t sure if he was allowed to use a cell in a hospital, so he decided against it.
They must have public phones here somewhere.
“So why are you here, Mai?”
“Futaba called me.”
He’d contacted Rio from Mai’s phone before, so she naturally had the number in her call history.
“Is it okay for you to be here?”
Her manager had told them to avoid contact as much as possible. He hadn’t heard anything about those orders changing.
This was an exam room, so it was somewhat secluded, but there were more exam rooms on this hallway, and doctors and nurses scurrying up and down it. And all of them had seen Mai. One man in a white coat looked particularly surprised, and a nurse clutching medical records did a double take. A few younger staff members were clearly taking unnecessary trips just to sneak a peek at her.
“That’s not what you’re supposed to say to a worried girlfriend when she comes running,” Mai said, rising off her stool.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Try again.”
“Engh.”
“Again.”
She was getting crosser by the moment. This was going to go on until he said exactly what she wanted to hear. If he didn’t give it up soon, she’d stomp on his foot.
“I’d really hate it if this leads to you losing your job,” he said, deliberately avoiding the right answer.
“Look, I like my job. It’s fun, and I do want to keep doing it,” she said, sulking. She broke off and gave him an expectant look. He knew what that look meant. He knew, but he wanted to hear it from her.
“But?” he asked blankly.
“You know.”
“I haven’t got a clue!”
Mai pursed her lips. Then she gave up and said it.
“Work is work, and it matters, but if you get sick, I want to be there for you, and when I’ve got a day off, I want to go on dates.”
She looked grumpy, mad that he’d forced her to spell it out.
“You helped me get back to work, but if that means I can’t see you, there’s no point.”
The force with which this landed was beyond the scope of words like cute or happy.
“Mai.”
“Wh-what?”
“Can I give you a hug?”
“Why?”
She took a step back, on guard.
“I want to communicate the joy I’m feeling.”
Mai thought about it. Then she said, “Only three seconds,” with a somewhat stiff smile.
“Aw, I think I’ll need at least a full minute.”
“A hug that long would definitely make me pregnant… Eep!”
He threw his arms around her before she could finish. Hands clasped behind her back. Savoring her warmth, softness, and scent.
Mai put her hands on his chest, lowering her head.
“That’s three seconds.”
“Can I get an extension?”
“You’ve got other priorities!”
He did have to call Kaede. And then thank Rio. She’d called an ambulance and ridden to the hospital with him.
“Once I take care of that stuff, can we keep going?”
“You’ve already had ten full seconds, so no.”
“Aww.”
“That’s what you get for not keeping your word.”
He let go of her immediately.
“Too late now,” she said and poked him in the forehead.
He gave her a pleading look.
“Dead-fish eyes won’t help you here.”
“These are abandoned-puppy eyes!”
“Go on. If the doctor comes back, I’ll talk to him.”
“Thanks.” He left Mai in the exam room and went down the hall. “Gotta call Kaede first…”
The public phones were next to an unlit storefront and four vending machines. The phones were the old green type.
He dropped a ten-yen coin in and dialed his apartment number. The answering machine picked up.
“Kaede, it’s me. You still up?”
“Are you okay?!” Kaede yelped a few seconds later.
“I’m fine.”
“I’m so glad… You’re not dead…”
“Don’t bump me off so fast. I got some paperwork to take care of, so I’ll be a while before I’m home.”
He checked the clock on the wall, and it was past ten. He should be home before the day ended, at least.
“You can go ahead and sleep.”
“I’ll wait up!”
“Okay. Don’t force yourself, though.”
He figured she wouldn’t listen, so he left it at that.
“Kaede.”
“What?”
“Sorry I worried you.”
“I’m your sister. It’s my job to worry about you.”
“Then thanks for being my sister.”
“O-okay! I’ll keep doing my best!”
“See you later.”
He put the phone down and noticed it was very quiet around him. That silence was broken by the ding of an elevator. The elevators were just past the vending machines.
The door opened, and a girl stepped out.
“Ah,” he said. Because he knew her name.
“Huh?” She looked equally surprised to see him.
A younger girl, in pajamas and slippers, a very indoor style—Shouko Makinohara.
“Er, um…why are you here, Sakuta?” she asked, looking everywhere but at him.
Definitely seemed like he’d seen something he shouldn’t have.
“I collapsed with heatstroke and got brought here in an ambulance.”
“A-are you okay?”
“My symptoms were pretty mild, so they gave me an IV and called it a day. I feel better than normal.”
“Make sure you get enough fluids!” she said, finally looking him in the eye. “And enough electrolytes.”
“Good advice.”
“……”
“……”
The conversation petered out.
“Uh, so what about you?” he asked. Considering that they’d met here in the hospital, the question was unavoidable. Not asking would be conspicuous, and…he was curious.
“I caught a cold,” Shouko said firmly.
“Oh?” Sakuta stepped up and put a hand on her forehead. “No fever, at least.”
“R-right.”
“And your voice sounds normal. No cough?”
“……”
“And your nose doesn’t sound stuffy.”
That didn’t leave her with much.
“Sorry, that was a lie,” she admitted.
He’d known it from the start. She was in pajamas and slippers. It was ten PM, and outpatients wouldn’t be milling around. If she hadn’t been rushed here like he had, then she must be staying here.
“…Something wrong with you?”
He hesitated to ask. But she looked so lost that he decided he’d better.
“Oh…,” she began, then fell silent.
“If you don’t wanna talk about it, I won’t ask.”
“No, I think you should know,” Shouko said, looking up.
She’d made up her mind.
They sat down on a bench by the vending machines. Shouko spoke slowly, her voice calm as she told him about her illness.
He immediately forgot the exact name of it and didn’t have the slightest idea what the kanji were, but he got that it was a heart condition.
A particularly tricky one, and one that got worse as Shouko got older. There were a number of devices that could prolong her life, but the only real cure was a transplant. There were way fewer organs available for children, so the odds of her finding a donor were very low. And if one did show up, that meant someone else had met with an awful tragedy, so it was hardly happy news.
She was left waiting for a donor but feeling guilty because it felt like hoping for something bad to happen to someone else.
“What happens if you can’t get a transplant?”
“When we first found out about it, the doctors said I’d be lucky to live long enough to graduate junior high.”
Shouko sounded eerily calm about it. She almost looked relieved. Sakuta wasn’t sure what to make of that.
But he did understand one thing.
“That explains it.”
“Sakuta?”
“I finally get it.”
“Get what?”
“When we were talking about Hayate, you said if you told your parents you wanted a cat, you were sure they’d let you have one.”
Without a transplant, she might only live to be fourteen or fifteen. No parents would ignore a request under those circumstances. They’d want to do anything they could for her. They’d buy Shouko anything she asked for and let her do anything she wanted.
“My parents are really nice to me.”
“……”
“So nice that no matter what I ask for, they always say yes. And I’m happy for that, but…it also makes things hard sometimes.”
“Mm.”
Sakuta made a noise to show he was listening but figured it was better not to interrupt. It would be a mistake to pretend he understood how Shouko or her parents felt.
“Every time Mom says ‘Yes’ about something, I know she’s saying ‘Sorry’ somewhere I can’t hear. As though it’s her fault I was born with this condition.”
“Mm…”
“That’s why…I still haven’t asked them about Hayate.”
He glanced sideways at her. A shadow had crossed her face. And he knew exactly why.
So Sakuta wordlessly reached out and pulled her cheek.
“Wh-why’d you do that?!” she yelped, completely caught off guard.
“That’s for blaming your mom.”
“Huh?”
“If you look that gloomy every time you ask her for something, of course she’s gonna wanna say sorry.”
“…But—,” Shouko began.
Before she could finish, he pulled her other cheek.
“Sh-Shakuta?!”
That was probably meant to come out as “Sakuta.”
“Makinohara, as long as you feel sorry for being sick, things won’t change. I’m sure your parents know you feel guilty about it. The hardest thing for both of them is knowing they’re making you feel like you gotta be sorry. It’s bad enough your mom feels like it’s her fault you were born like this, right?”
“Well…I think you’re right,” Shouko said. “But what else can I…?”
“What do you really think of your parents? Beyond being sorry for making them sad all the time.”
“I love them both. A lot.”
Shouko didn’t need to think about that one. So these must have been her genuine feelings.
“Have you told them that?”
“…No.”
“I’d be way happier to hear ‘I love you’ than ‘I’m sorry,’ personally. It’d really make my day.”
“Oh…”
Shouko finally seemed to grasp what he was saying.
“Someone once told me her three favorite things to hear are ‘Thank you,’ ‘Good work,’ and ‘I love you.’”
Sakuta let go of her cheek, and Shouko stood up.
“I…”
She paused, and the elevator dinged. A couple in their late thirties stepped off. Their reaction when they spotted Shouko made it clear who they were.
They’d come looking when she didn’t come back.
“Mom, Dad,” she said, running over.
“Oh, Shouko! If you run like that…,” her mother fretted.
But Shouko just threw herself into her mother’s arms.
“Oh dear. What’s the matter?”
As surprised as she was, her mother still hugged her back.
“Mom, Dad, thank you for everything.”
“Where’d that come from?”
Her parents looked at each other.
“I love you both. I love you so much.”
“Well, we both love you, too.”
Her father reached out and rubbed her head.
“That’s right.”
“I’m glad you’re my mom and dad.”
In her mother’s arms, Shouko looked up with a smile like a flower blooming.
“Shouko…”
Her mother’s voice was choked up, and there were tears glistening in her eyes. Her father looked away, wiping his eyes. There was a real warmth to the moment. Everyone there cared about one another.
“I…have a favor to ask.”
“What is it, Shouko?”
“I want a cat.”
She asked with a bright smile. And her parents responded in kind.
“Okay! Let’s do that.”
After Shouko went back to her room with her parents, hand in hand, a voice called out behind Sakuta.
“Azusagawa.”
He turned to find Rio standing there.
“You up and around already?”
“Well, even if I collapse again, I’m already in the hospital, so…”
“You’re an awful patient.”
Rio sighed but managed a half smile.
“Don’t forget I’m an awful friend!”
“Seriously. What a cheap trick to pull.” She scowled at him. “I couldn’t just leave you lying there, could I?”
“Well, sounds like it was a worthwhile collapse.”
Sakuta sat down on the bench by the vending machines. Rio joined him, leaving enough space between them for two other people.
“Thanks for calling Mai.”
“You should be grateful.”
“That’s why I’m saying thanks.”
“Not to me. To Sakurajima.”
“…Was she that worried?”
He hadn’t gotten that impression talking to her, but she had rushed over here. Maybe she’d been more scared than he thought.
“When she first got here, she wouldn’t stop holding your hand while you slept.”
“Did you get a picture?”
“Of course not.”
“Aww, I would’ve killed to see that.”
“You really are an idiot.”
Her chuckle echoed through the silent hall.
“……”
“……”
When the conversation died down, the quiet of the late-night hospital grew even more pronounced. The hum of the vending machines did little to alleviate it.
Rio stretched out her legs, staring at her toes. Searching for the right words.
“Azusagawa, I…”
“I don’t wanna hear any more bullshit about how you aren’t needed or how you vanishing solves everything, or how you’re actually just scared and don’t know what to do.”
“……”
There was a long silence. He must have guessed right.
“It’s fine if you don’t like yourself.”
His voice drifted through the quiet hallway.
“……”
“I tend to be a ‘to hell with it’ kinda guy, personally.”
“That sounds like you,” Rio said, sighing softly. “Anyone else would tell me I should work on finding things to like about myself, or start telling me all the things they like about me.”
“Man, trying to put a positive spin on everything just gets exhausting. People who love themselves can go to hell.”
There’s no way to force yourself to like what you hate. Trying to force the issue only generates friction or pressure. It just backfires. If you’re just gonna make yourself suffer, giving up on positivity is a perfectly viable tactic. Two years ago, Sakuta had found out just how helpful that could be. Kaede’s problems had taught him that. Fighting wasn’t always the right answer. And that was fine.
“You’re the worst, Azusagawa. But…that’s a comfort, sometimes.”
Rio seemed relaxed, like there was a weight off her shoulders.
“It really is,” she said.
When your emotions become all drawn tight, it didn’t take much to snap the thread. It’s important to give them some slack sometimes. It makes everything so much easier. When things relax, it can suddenly become much easier to gain a new perspective on the world around you, like Rio was now.
Rio tended to bottle everything up inside, so she needed to vent sometimes. To find a way to let go.
That extra pressure seemed gone now, Sakuta thought.
“Um, Azusagawa…,” she said reluctantly, after a long silence.
“Mm?”
“…The fireworks.”
“Ah.”
“Can I really come?”
“Hell no.”
“……”
“Not if you put it like that.”
Rio let out a long, thoughtful sigh.
But it only took her a few seconds to work it out.
“I—I want to come see the fireworks,” she said, unusually flustered.
She didn’t often let her real feelings show, and it was awkward for her.
“I’m not the one you should be telling.”
He flipped a ten-yen coin in her direction. It traced a gentle arc, and she cupped her hands, catching it. She looked toward the pay phones.
Rio got up and headed over to them.
She lifted the receiver, inserted the coin, and dialed a number. He could hear it ringing over his shoulder.
Her breathing sounded tense.
He heard the call connect.
Rio took a deep breath.
“I… I met up with Azusagawa. And…I have a favor to ask.”
She paused, took another deep breath, and then let her feelings out.
“I want to come see the fireworks, too.”
No words followed. Her breath and presence vanished. There was a clunk.
Sakuta quietly turned around.
Before him stood a green pay phone. The receiver dangling. Nobody in either direction—just the long hallway. As far as his eyes could see, there was no one here but him.
He stood up, picked up the receiver, and held it to his ear.
“Hellooo?” he said, a bit jokey.
“Get back to your exam room, Azusagawa. You’re keeping Sakurajima waiting.”
“Now I can finally flirt to my heart’s content!”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”
“I’m happy to share.”
“About the fireworks,” Rio said, forcibly changing the subject. “You’d better not be late.”
“You can be a little late if you want, Futaba. I know putting that yukata on will take a while.”
“I really have to wear that thing?”
“There’s no point going to see fireworks if you don’t have a girl in a yukata with you.”
“Fine… Well, I did promise.”
She sounded like she was looking forward to it.
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login