Seishun Buta Yarou Series - Volume 6 - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Manifestation of a Girl's Dream

1

This was the greatest peril Sakuta Azusagawa had ever faced.

It was the first day of December, only a month left in the year. A Monday evening, already past ten.

The living room, normally a place to kick back and relax, was currently crackling with an unprecedented level of tension. There was a current running in the air.

They’d taken the kotatsu out just yesterday. The heater under the tabletop was on, and everyone’s legs were inside the blanket around it, but he couldn’t feel a trace of warmth. He considered lying down and pulling himself fully inside, but that wasn’t a viable option now. Even stretching out his legs felt risky. No one had specifically demanded it, but Sakuta was on his knees, his back bolt upright, no trace of his usual listless slouch.

It took only one glance around the room to see why.

There were two girls seated at the kotatsu with Sakuta.

On his right was an actress, a year above him at his high school. Her name was Mai Sakurajima. She’d been a child star, a household name across Japan. These days, she was filling major roles in TV shows, commercials, even movies—but to Sakuta, she was also his girlfriend. She had beautiful features that left a strong impression. Long, black, glossy hair only enhanced her beauty. She’d come directly from the film set, so her makeup was flawless, and she looked even more grown-up than usual. If the circumstances were less extraordinary, he would’ve loved to just sit and stare. He was confident he could keep that up for two or three hours without a trace of boredom.

But this wasn’t the time.

To his left was another girl, cheerily peeling a tangerine like she had not a care in the world. Her name was Shouko Makinohara. She was none other than Sakuta’s first love and appeared to be a college student. Despite the ongoing crisis, she was simply helping herself to some tangerines and muttering, “Wow, that’s tart.” Did she have nerves of steel? They were in the apartment where Sakuta and his sister lived, but judging by how relaxed she was, it would be easy to confuse this for her home.

Both Sakuta and Mai found themselves looking at her expectantly. It wasn’t clear if Shouko picked up on that or not, but she popped the last piece of tangerine in her mouth, said, “Let me put the kettle on,” and started to get up.

“I’ll…,” Sakuta began.

“I’ll do it,” Mai said firmly. She was on her feet before either of them could argue.

“No, I should—,” he tried.

“Sakuta, you sit right there and figure out a good excuse,” she snapped.

He didn’t dare argue further.

“Okay. Sorry.”

He settled back down. She was already furious, and it would be a truly terrible idea to risk antagonizing her anymore.

Mai moved elegantly over to the kitchen counter. With the relaxed poise you’d expect from a girl used to being in her boyfriend’s house, she opened the cabinet doors and pulled out the teapot, mugs, and tea caddy. She got water boiling in the kettle and readied a tray to carry everything.

If only it had been just the two of them, Sakuta could have fully appreciated the blissful sight of his girlfriend making herself at home in his kitchen. But for the first time ever, he found it impossible to savor the moment.

As Mai sprinkled tea leaves into the pot, she glanced at the side of the sink. Sakuta couldn’t see it from where he was sitting, but she was probably looking at the drying rack. The dishes he and Shouko had used earlier were drying there.

Crap. A shudder ran down his spine. Every muscle in his body tensed up, and a cold sweat formed on his brow.

Mai put the lid on the caddy and slowly raised her eyes. She scanned the living room with feigned indifference. Her eyes lit on something at the back of the room, and he thought he saw a flicker of a frown. Was something over there incriminating?

Sakuta turned to look and instantly saw the damning circumstantial evidence. It was visible through the big glass doors that led to the balcony. Laundry was hanging on the line outside. Sakuta’s T-shirt and underwear sat right alongside Shouko’s clothes. At least her underwear was drying in another room, but seeing their clothes hanging together was certainly the sort of thing that invited uncomfortable questions.

It screamed “shacking up together.”

Of course, his relationship was Shouko was nothing like what that implied. Shouko might’ve been his first love, but Mai was his girlfriend, and his life was devoted to her. But this fishy sight roused suspicion that was powerful enough to override anything he said to the contrary.

Letting her examine the room further would only dig his grave deeper. He reflexively started talking. “So, uh, Mai…”

“What?”

She sounded curt. Didn’t even glance his way.

“Did the shoot wrap early?”

Mai had gone to Kanazawa for location shooting ten days ago. When she called last night, she’d said she had another three days to go. Had that been a ruse in an attempt to catch him red-handed?

“We’re not done yet.”

She still wasn’t looking at him.

“Is it okay for you to be here?”

“I got an opening in my schedule until tomorrow evening, so I came back to see you. Yet you don’t seem pleased to see me.”

“N-no, I’m delighted. Obviously.”

He tried to make it sound natural and nonchalant, but only succeeded in making it sound super fake.

“It sure doesn’t look like it.”

Her eyes were back on the signs of cohabitation.

“That’s not true,” he said, hoping to buy himself some time. He had to find something convincing to defend himself. But before the words came to him, Mai returned to the kotatsu, carrying a tray with mugs and a pot of tea.

She put a hand on her skirt to keep it in place and sat down gracefully, legs neatly pressed together. With practiced ease, she poured tea into each cup. She filled each one a third of the way up, then made a second pass to get them to half-full. On the third and final pour, she filled them to 80 percent and at last said, “Here you go,” before placing one in front of Shouko.

“Thank you,” Shouko said, accepting it politely.

“And yours, Sakuta.”

“Thank you.”

He’d been worried he wouldn’t get one, but this fear proved unfounded.

“Have some of these as well.”

Mai had taken a package of manju out of a souvenir bag and was opening it. The snacks were decorated like rabbits and were quite cute.

“Seems almost a shame to eat them,” Shouko said as she reached for one anyway. “Oh, these are good!” She smiled happily.

Sakuta tried one, too. But the tension in the air was too great, and it turned to ash in his mouth.

He took a few sips of his tea, not wanting to let it go cold after Mai had gone to the trouble.

Letting out a long breath, he slowly put the mug down on the kotatsu.

“Let’s start with the most important thing,” Mai said, as if she’d been waiting for this cue.

There was a look of deep suspicion in her eyes—directed across the table, at Shouko.

The reason for this required no explanation. Shouko’s very existence was inherently suspicious. Both Mai and Sakuta knew another Shouko Makinohara, separate from the one sitting in front of them. They’d met the other Shouko that summer. She was a young girl, in her first year of junior high. They’d found her standing by an abandoned kitten, at a loss as to what to do.

She’d eventually adopted the kitten and named it Hayate.

The two Shoukos looked so much alike that it was stranger to assume they weren’t the same person—but there was a significant age difference. One was still a child, in junior high. The other was much older and almost certainly college age.

That posed a huge question, one that had been lurking in the corner of Sakuta’s mind since they met the younger Shouko that summer. If they were going to talk about anything, they would have to start by clearing that up. Mai was right. That was important. The most important thing.

“And what might that be?” Shouko asked, hands around her tea mug.

“How long have you two been shacking up together?”

“We aren’t!”

Mai’s question surprised him, and he issued a cry of denial before he could stop himself.

“Fine, ‘living together.’”

“It’s not a semantic issue. Also, is that really the ‘most’ important question?”

He’d been so sure she would ask about what was going on with Shouko herself.

“Nothing could be more important.”

“Well, I for one thought there was something else more pressing…”

Sakuta and Mai clearly had different priorities.

“So? How long?”

She was not dropping this line of questioning. There was a quiet power behind her voice. It had not faltered at all, despite Sakuta’s best efforts.

His eyes wavered.

“Uh…maybe yesterday?”

Obfuscating seemed best. If he took evasive maneuvers for the moment, maybe he’d buy himself enough time to think of a decent response. At least, that was the plan.

“That’s not true, Sakuta. I’ve been here since Thursday.”

How fast his faint hopes were dashed.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday… Shouko was counting on her fingers.

“So we’ve been shacking up together for five days now.”

“Please stop using that phrase…”

It was an important distinction. Maybe nobody else cared, but it mattered to him.

“Would calling it ‘five days living together’ be better?”

“Can we drop the joke?” Mai asked. No trace of a smile. Her glare was powerful enough to stop anyone in their tracks.

“But repetition is the key to comedy.” Shouko said, smiling as if she hadn’t noticed.

Sakuta didn’t dare look at Mai.

“I mean…Thursday just worked out that way. It wasn’t until Friday that you actually asked to stay here.”

What was he even saying? Reducing the stay by a single day was not going to help him at this point. He knew it was futile. He just couldn’t stop himself from clutching at straws.

“Thursday…was the day Kaede got her memories back?”

“Huh? Uh…yes.”

Kaede was Sakuta’s little sister. Some trouble with bullies two years ago had caused a dissociative disorder, and she’d lost all memories of the life she’d lived. It was like she’d locked herself inside a shell to protect herself from torment. To distinguish the new Kaede from the original, they’d written her name in hiragana instead of kanji. And hiragana Kaede had lived here with Sakuta.

But last Thursday, she’d gone back to normal. The dissociative disorder had gone away, and the old Kaede’s memories and personality returned. Replacing the new Kaede entirely.

“I see…,” Mai said softly. There was emotion in her response, a hint of something important, but Sakuta couldn’t identify it. She might’ve been thinking of the Kaede they’d lost, but the way she stared down at her hands suggested there was probably more to it than that. He just couldn’t tell what.

“Um, please don’t blame Sakuta for all this,” Shouko requested when nothing was forthcoming from Mai. “It’s not his fault. I’m the one who had nowhere else to go and asked if I could stay here.”

“Then you’ll stay with me from now on,” Mai said, looking up. But only her eyes moved. Her expression didn’t change at all.

“Don’t worry—we aren’t doing anything naughty.”

“There’s no guarantee you won’t,” Mai replied, as if discussing a business deal.

“Sakuta would never be tempted to do anything with me as long as his relationship with you is keeping him satisfied.”

No matter what Mai did, Shouko’s tone never changed. She clearly knew exactly what was going on, but everything she said completely ignored the delicate situation. Sakuta even got the sense she was enjoying this. And he didn’t think that was his imagination. Shouko was obviously winding Mai up, deliberately acting like a remorseless home-wrecker. He had no clue what good that did anyone…

But it was definitely wreaking havoc on his stomach.

“I’m keeping him satisfied,” Mai said, not quite at full volume. Her eyes were locked on the tangerines in the center of the kotatsu.

“Is she, Sakuta?” Shouko asked, turning to him at the worst possible moment. Specifically because it was the worst moment. The Shouko he’d known had been a massive tease like that. This time, it might well end up being worse than “teasing.”

And as if intent on driving the final nail in his coffin, Shouko reached under the kotatsu and put her hand on Sakuta’s thigh.

“Well?” she asked, rubbing his leg.

“Yeeagh!” he yelped as a shiver ran down his spine.

Mai frowned at him. But then her eyes narrowed, and she reached under the kotatsu, too.

“Eep!”

She’d pinched his thigh.

“You’re satisfied, right?” Mai snapped.

“Yes, of course!”

“Then me staying here is no cause for concern and poses no problem.”

Shouko smiled like she’d just won this conversation. The whole thing had been a trap, setting up this exact response from each of them.

“Well…,” Mai began, but she seemed to have no follow-up. She met Shouko’s gaze and held it but was clearly at a loss. Sakuta felt pretty sure he’d never seen Mai so thoroughly defeated. She was usually the one in the lead, keeping everyone under her thumb.

“S-some things just aren’t okay,” Mai managed to get out at last. It wasn’t often she just abandoned logic like that. She was evidently struggling to maintain her usual composure when dealing with Shouko.

“But living together should be totally fine.”

“It absolutely is not.”

“Even if something did happen, that wouldn’t be a problem.”

Shouko’s grin got extra mischievous.

“On what basis?”

“I’m in love with Sakuta.”

“Pffff!”

Sakuta had just taken a sip of tea. It went everywhere. He coughed pretty hard.

“Look at this mess you made.” Shouko groaned, wiping the kotatsu down with a tissue. She gave his back a few pats.

Mai’s glare was like daggers. Quiet and cold. This was not simple irritation or anger, so he couldn’t get a read on it. All he knew was that she was being very intense, and it was crushing him. Maybe this was what Mai was like when she was truly mad. The thought was terrifying.

“O-okay, time-out!”

He couldn’t stand it any longer and ejected himself from the kotatsu. He went straight for the telephone. Before anyone could say a word, he lifted the receiver and dialed.

This was the cell phone number of one of his few friends, Rio Futaba. He knew the full eleven digits by heart. She answered on the third ring.

“What?”

Curt. Very Rio. That was a relief.

“Please help me,” he begged in English.

“Who might this be?”

“Azusagawa.”

“I knew that already.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“So? What is it?”

“Shouko came back.”

“You’re having an affair?”

It didn’t sound like she was joking.

“She’s in my house right now.”

“Then I just have to e-mail that fact to Sakurajima.”

“Mai’s also here.”

The moment she understood the situation, the line went dead. She’d hung up on him.

He hit redial.

“What?” she demanded, as if this were the last conversation she wanted to take part in.

“Why’d you hang up?!”

“My capacity for caring cut out.”

“What an amazing expression.”

“I’m expressing a profound desire not to get mixed up in your ongoing crisis.”

“I figured as much.”

Sakuta would have been tempted to hang up if a friend called him about this, too. He probably would have done exactly that.

“But I need help.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Is that any way to be a friend?”

“If you thought of me as a friend, you wouldn’t bother me with your drama.”

“I’m coming to pick you up right now. Please mediate.”

“No need.”

“Nah, it’s late. Let me bring you over.”

“I meant I don’t want to go.”

“I’m begging you here.”

“Argh…”

There was a very long sigh. No doubt it was deliberately drawn out for his benefit.

“Fine. My mom’s about to drive to Narita. I’ll have her drop me at your place.”

“Seriously, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Just to be clear, I’m only helping with Shouko’s…Adolescence Syndrome. I’m not touching your infidelity with a ten-foot pole.”

“…I’ll do what I can on that front.”

“Later.”

He waited till she hung up before putting the receiver down. Letting out a sigh of relief, he turned back to the world’s frostiest kotatsu.

Rio arrived twenty minutes later, took one look at the living room, and said, “Can I go home?”

She clearly meant it.

Sakuta put his hands on her back and gently guided her over to the kotatsu. This was the first time Rio had met the older Shouko.

“She does look exactly the same except grown up.”

“I appreciate you coming all this way,” Shouko said, bowing her head.

“Now that Futaba’s here, will you please explain yourself, Shouko?”

Who was she? What was her connection to the younger Makinohara? He’d been wondering that since summer and would finally have an answer.

“Time to pay the piper, huh?” Shouko said, sitting up. “The simple truth is…”

She broke off and looked gravely at Sakuta, then Mai, then Rio.

“Sometimes I get bigger,” she said. Utterly serious.

“……”

“……”

“……”

All three of them said nothing. Just stared at her. Nobody seemed especially surprised or upset by her shocking pronouncement. It was like they’d all suspected as much.

“Sometimes I get bigger,” Shouko said again, like she’d expected more of a reaction.

“……”

Still no response.

“Are you even listening?”

“Sure,” Sakuta said.

“Do you understand me?”

“We do.” Rio nodded.

“Adolescence Syndrome takes many forms,” Mai muttered.

“If you aren’t even a bit surprised, I wasted a lot of time dragging this out,” Shouko complained.

“Any clue why this happens?” Sakuta asked, moving right along.

“This is really anticlimactic.” She looked despondent.

He wasn’t about to let her wriggle out of this. He had to extract the full truth from her today.

“It’s your fault for making a huge deal out of nothing,” he said.

“I think getting bigger sometimes is a pretty big deal!”

“Is this related to your condition?” he asked, ignoring her protests. If he let his guard down for a second, they’d wind up on an endless tangent.

“Probably,” Shouko admitted. She glanced at Mai and Rio. They both caught her meaning and nodded. They’d been informed about it.

Shouko had a serious heart condition. The doctors had explained that without a transplant, she was unlikely to survive junior high. That was a lot for any girl her age to handle. There was no way she wouldn’t be worried about it. It seemed likely that each passing day was just another reminder that time was running out, leaving her screaming silently each time the sun rose. And if that couldn’t touch off a case of Adolescence Syndrome, what could?

A life-threatening illness was a very credible trigger.

“To me, it was always a dream.”

She picked up a tangerine, but instead of peeling it, she rolled it around in her hands.

“Growing up, I mean.” She paused, then continued. “When the doctors said my chances of graduating junior high weren’t great…well, ever since the meaning of that sank in, I’ve wanted to be a high school student. A college student. A grown-up.”

She clutched the tangerine tight, like it was something precious.

“The little me knows she can never be any of those things, but she dreams about it. And I think that’s what you see here.”

Nobody said anything for a while. Everyone was ruminating over what her words meant.

Sakuta was the first to break the silence.

“Can I ask one thing?”

“Yes. Go ahead.”

“All of that makes a ton of sense, but…”

He trailed off, giving her a look.

“Yes?”

“I feel like you and her are really different.”

“Are we?”

“You’re much more shameless.”

The younger Shouko was modest, sincere, and generally a really nice kid. Definitely didn’t have the nerves to wrap Mai around her finger.

“I’m the shameless one? Sakuta, you’ve got three girls sharing a kotatsu with you.”

“Case in point…”

“Well, blame the other me, then. I’m just the ideal she wishes she could become in the future.”

Rio jumped in there. “So can we assume the little Shouko doesn’t know about you?”

She seemed convinced she already had the answer to this and was just making sure. Like it was important to confirm this fact. Sakuta had a pretty good idea why she’d asked that.

Sakuta had first met the older Shouko two years ago. But when he’d met the younger one this year, she’d had no memories of him. She’d acted like she was meeting a stranger.

If she was aware that she got bigger sometimes, it would have shown. She didn’t seem like the kind of girl who could hide something like that.

“How’d you handle the change before?”

“I didn’t.”

“Huh?”

“By the time I noticed, I was just suddenly back to normal.”

“Didn’t your family notice? It went on for days, right?”

No matter where she hid herself, if their sickly daughter disappeared without warning, most parents would call the police for help. And this time she’d been staying with Sakuta for five whole days. It seemed likely the police would be looking for her by now.

“Oh, that isn’t a concern,” Shouko said firmly.

“On what basis?”

“When I said I get bigger sometimes, that wasn’t quite right. While I’m over here being big, little me still exists.”

“I’ve heard of a similar case,” Sakuta said, looking across the table at Rio. A single person turning into two. He’d encountered that exact situation before. It was the Adolescence Syndrome phenomenon that had affected Rio. But in that case, they’d both been the same age.

“I’ve never met the little me, but I was worried about that, too, so I went to my house this afternoon. And my mom was just leaving, so I followed her…and she went right to the hospital where they’re treating me. I think my other self is staying there right now. Which is probably why she didn’t pick up when you called.”

“I see…”

Sakuta had tried to get little Shouko on the phone several times with no success. And she hadn’t called him back. If she was hospitalized, that would explain it.

“Then I guess we have a working answer.”

“Yeah.”

If this Shouko was a dream little Shouko had of the future, then maybe talking to the younger Shouko would clue them in to why this was happening.

“I’ve gotta check up on Kaede anyway, so I’ll stop in to see her tomorrow.”

The hospital taking care of Shouko was the same one where Kaede was staying.

Rio rose silently to her feet.

“Bathroom?”

“No. I’m going home.”

“Why?”

“The conversation’s over, and I’m no longer needed here.”

“Stay the night.”

“Azusagawa.”

“What?”

“You’re a creep.”

“You’re just going to abandon me in this mess?! How heartless can you be?!”

This approach got him nowhere.

“Futaba, sorry. But I’d also like you to stay.”

Mai backing him up was unexpected. She hadn’t said a word the whole time they were talking to Shouko, and it felt like a really long time since he’d heard her voice.

“I’m staying over tonight, so please join us.”

“……”

Rio must not have expected this from Mai, either. She looked genuinely surprised. Less by the request itself than by the fact that there had been a request at all.

“Well, if you insist…”

She settled back down at the kotatsu.

“So you’ll listen if Mai asks.”

“You always ask too much.”

“I’m unable to live without help from those around me. I’m sure it’ll happen again.”

As he spoke, Mai got up.

“I’m going to swing by my place, take a bath, and change,” she explained before he could ask.

“I’ll walk you over.”

“No need. It’s not that far.”

This was true. Mai’s condo was in the building across the street.

“Shouko, Futaba, sorry, but I’ll leave you here a bit.”

“Roger, roger.”

At the door, Mai said, “Seriously, you don’t have to.”

“Gimme a chance to talk to you.”

“……”

Mai said nothing more. Just walked out the door. He decided the lack of a refusal meant she’d granted him an audience. He quickly put his shoes on and caught up with her waiting for the elevator. They stood side by side watching the floor lights blink. He hoped it would take its time.

“So, Mai,” he began.

“Sakuta,” she interrupted. Her voice carried.

“What?”

“Sorry.”

That was unexpected.

“Huh?” he said, confused. He was the one who should be apologizing. Hearing “Sorry” from her just made his mind go blank. He could not come up with a single reason why she’d said that.

“The whole incident with Kaede must have been so hard, and I couldn’t be here for you.”

“……”

She was staring up at the elevator lights. She looked sad, like she was about to cry. Sakuta leaned toward her and tried to put his arms around her.

But she took a step away, pointedly eluding his grasp. It was awkward.

“I can’t,” she said. “Not for a while.”

She didn’t even glance at him. An unmistakable rejection.

Before he could think of any response, there was a ding, and the elevator doors opened.

“That’s far enough,” she said as she stepped into the elevator alone.

Before the doors closed, he managed to say, “I’m sorry, Mai.”

That was all he could do.

“I didn’t start dating you because I wanted to hear your apologies,” she replied.

Then the doors closed, and she was gone.

A short conversation, but it felt like every word had been an arrow to his chest. She was right. They weren’t dating to hear each other apologize.

He couldn’t argue with that at all.

2

The next day after school, Sakuta was on the train home. A Fujisawa-bound train he’d boarded at Shichirigahama Station.

“The sea is so vast…”

The winter sun was easier on the eyes, giving the ocean a soft glow. The sky had donned a pale blue. The horizon divided one from the other, highlighting the contrast.

This was a single-track local line that ran along Sagami Bay from Fujisawa to Kamakura, but it let him see this glorious view on a daily basis.

On the way home from school, there were often tourists on board. Lately, more of these had been from overseas. Right now, there was a handsome blond dude exclaiming “Amazing!” and taking a ton of pictures.

“The sea really is vast…,” he muttered again.

He was having trouble mustering much enthusiasm, amazing view or not.

“Quit audibly attempting to escape reality,” Rio growled. They were standing to either side of the same set of doors, but she had kept her eyes locked on the book in her hands since they boarded the train.

“You’re supposed to be nice to inconsolable friends.”

“This is me being nice. I’ve blown off my club duties to visit this hospital with you.”

She sure could’ve fooled him. And she didn’t look up once from her book.

“Plus, you’re the one who’s apparently been having an affair. The prime suspect is not supposed to be the one getting all depressed.”

“Could you not kick me when I’m down?”

Her blows were far too accurate. They stung his ears more than he liked. He couldn’t argue with anything she said. But he wasn’t capable of stoically enduring this whole mess, either. Mai’s rejection had hit him hard, and he was not prepared to take that lying down.

He’d upset Mai before, but nothing like this. Everything else had been on the level of “hurt feelings.”

“I hope you can see that my current mood is a wholehearted expression of my regret.”

“Rather than seek my approval, you should have gotten up on time and made sure you saw Sakurajima off.”

Once again, she’d hit him where it hurt.

“She was already gone when I woke up! Which was definitely bad.”

That morning, by the time he had gotten out of bed, Sakuta discovered Mai had already departed for her film shoot in Kanazawa. She’d left a note on the table, just a perfunctory Heading out.

No matter how early she was leaving, Mai would usually have dragged him out of bed herself. She would’ve impishly told him she was doing him a favor, figuring he’d want to give her a goodbye kiss.

The parting note he got instead could not be more removed from such delightful shenanigans. He’d felt a chill run down his spine. Not only had a night’s sleep not improved the situation, it had clearly grown actively worse.

“And the fact that Shouko gently woke you up is completely indefensible. Given these facts, I am disinclined to comfort you.”

“…I was too upset about Mai to fall asleep.”

He had meant to see her off. But empty intentions did nobody any good.

Sakuta was pretty sure it had been almost dawn by the time he finally slipped into fitful slumber. Mai must have woken up shortly after and left for Kanazawa.

“Save the excuses for Sakurajima.”

“……”

Rio was right once again. She always was. He couldn’t argue, so instead he inspected the train interior. There was an ad dangling nearby, inviting everyone to visit the aquarium near Enoshima. It also advertised an illuminated jellyfish show. Seemed like an event to attract the Christmas crowd.

“Just having Shouko stay over might have been forgivable, given the circumstances. Especially right after what happened with Kaede. I think Sakurajima gets that.”

“I don’t want to make Kaede my excuse.”

Sakuta’s sister had developed dissociative disorder after a nasty bout of bullying two years ago. This had resulted in the loss of her memories and, with those, her personality. Sakuta had spent two years living with the new Kaede—a completely different person.

But last week, the dissociative disorder symptoms had resolved themselves, and the old Kaede had returned in full. But that meant the new Kaede’s memories and personality were gone. Along with the two years they’d spent together. Sakuta knew the time they’d shared would never come back. Should never come back. Things had turned out this way because her mental illness had been cured. And that was the result of a lot of hard work on new Kaede’s part.

But even if he recognized this was a good thing, that didn’t help him deal with the loss, and it didn’t mean he could simply accept everything automatically.

The suffering it caused him was inevitable. And that pain had reopened the wounds on his chest, wounds inflicted by Adolescence Syndrome. He could still feel the blood on his hands. His chest had hurt, his heart had ached, and sadness had threatened to overwhelm him.

If Shouko had not been there to help him, who knew what might have happened. Maybe he still wouldn’t be ready to acknowledge the old Kaede’s return. Maybe the scars on his chest would still be throbbing. The cavernous emptiness that had opened up inside him was just that vast.

But even so, Sakuta didn’t think it would be right to use that as an excuse. He couldn’t, and he didn’t want to.

“Just make it up to her.”

“How?”

“And do it fast so you quit asking me for advice about it.”

“Trust me, I would love nothing more.”

But how could he make things the way they used to be? He had no idea.

He looked at Rio for help, but she kept her eyes firmly on her book.

“Is that even any good?”

“Very.”

She lifted it so he could read the cover. It was called Unraveling Superstring Theory. He couldn’t tell if the author thought they were being clever or if the title had just been a happy accident, but either way, it sounded like a dad joke.

“Is superstring theory a metaphor for how Mai’s gonna be stringing me along the rest of my life?”

“In your case, sponger theory is more applicable.”

“As if that’s a real theory.”

“If you don’t get a job, she really will cut you loose.”

“I intend to!”

“Then again, she may dump you before it comes to that.”

“Don’t jinx me, damn it.”

“……”

“Why did you go quiet there?!”

“Do you really need me to explain why she’s gonna leave you?”

“…No, I’m well aware.”

“Then I won’t spell it out.”

With that loaded statement, Rio finally glanced up from her book and looked him dead in the eye. Waiting for him to ask.

“Okay, what?” he asked. It felt like there was something he wasn’t getting.

“Azusagawa, I think you’re misunderstanding something.”

“Huh?”

“……”

Rio said nothing more. The train had reached Fujisawa Station, the end of the line. She snapped her book closed and stepped off the car. Sakuta hastily followed her. This was not a conversation they could continue after joining the crowds flowing out the station gates.

But she did give him a hint.

“You don’t understand women.”

“Uh…well, I am a man, so…”

He thought a lot about what this might mean on the way to the hospital but ultimately didn’t get any closer to figuring out what he was missing.

Mai was mad because he’d let Shouko stay with him without consulting her. The cause was clear, the situation simple. What part of that could be misunderstood?

“I am without a whit.”

But once they reached the hospital, he didn’t have time to ponder it further. He would have to make it his homework.

He and Rio were here to see Shouko.

First thing they did was get her room number from reception.

There were security and privacy regulations, so the staff were limited in what they could share, but since this was the same hospital looking after Kaede, all he had to do was say they knew Shouko, and they happily told him.

“Room 301,” he said, rejoining Rio.

“She’s really here, then.”

He checked the floor map.

“Yep.”

Big Shouko had been right.

They took the elevator to the third floor. The corridor had that special hush reserved for floors with inpatients. Time seemed to flow much more slowly than on outpatient floors.

Room 301 was at the end of the hall.

There was a nameplate outside, and it read SHOUKO MAKINOHARA in lovely handwriting.

He knocked twice.

“Come in.”

That was definitely Shouko’s voice. The little one.

“All right,” Sakuta said, and he slid the door open. It was almost silent.

They had come to a private room with a southern view and lots of sunlight.

Shouko was sitting on the bed in the center.

But she’d been busy changing. Her pajama bottoms were half on, and she was kicking her legs to pull the cloth further up. Her thighs had clearly rarely seen the sun and were so pale they were almost blinding. When she raised her hips, he caught a flash of white underwear.

“You’re early today, Mom… Wait, what?”

Shouko froze, blinking at him.

“Sakuta?” she said.

“That’s my name.”

Shouko took a big breath.

Sakuta and Rio quickly wheeled around and went back outside, closing the door behind them.

“Aiiiiieeeeeeee!”

A second later, Shouko’s scream shook the room.

He sensed a glare from one side. Rio was looking at him like he was some sort of predator.

“I knocked and got permission to enter!”

He was innocent here.

“If you ever saw me naked, it would be a lifelong trauma.”

“She had her pajama top on!”

“And below?”

“She was still pulling those up.”

“What color were her panties?”

“If I answer that question, I’ll be opening myself up to a world of abuse.”

“The fact that you have an answer despite the short time allotted just proves you’re the ultimate rascal. Truly, a terror among men.”

He was shown no mercy even without offering an answer.

“I-I’m ready now,” Shouko said. The door opened a crack, and she peered out at them. Her pajamas were fully on now. She waved Sakuta and Rio in and then said, red-faced, “S-sorry, that was…awkward.”

She sat back down on her bed, and Sakuta and Rio took seats to one side, using the stool and a nearby folding chair.

“Well, sorry to just drop in on you like that.”

“N-no, I’m sure you’re the one who wants to scream. I’m really sorry. B-but what brings you here today?”

She looked directly into Sakuta’s eyes, seemingly tense. Like she was hiding something.

“Well, I called to see if you wanted me to bring Hayate over again, but I couldn’t get through…so I wondered if you might be here.”

“A-ah, sorry. My phone’s at home.”

As she spoke, she discretely picked her phone up off the bedside table and tried to hide it behind her.

Sakuta shot Rio a glance. Rio nodded. Successful eye contact. Rio took her phone out of her bag and started tapping the screen.

A moment later, a ringtone echoed loudly in the room.

“Augh! Augh!”

Shouko pulled the phone out from its hiding place and quickly tapped the screen, silencing it.

“Um…okay, sorry, that was a lie.”

“You thought if you answered my call, I’d realize you were in the hospital and worry.”

“Y-yes…”

“If you don’t even let me do that much, I’ll feel so powerless that it’ll crush me.”

He made it sound like a joke, but he meant every word. Sakuta couldn’t do anything to help her recover, so he at least wanted to be able to worry about her.

“S-sorry.”

“I’ll never forgive you.”

“You won’t?!”

Seeing Shouko at a loss, Rio offered some advice.

“There’s nothing Azusagawa loves more than getting selfish demands. He’d prefer that over an apology.”

“Well put, Futaba.”

“R-really? Um, but…”

“Anything you want,” Sakuta said.

“Th-then, I’d like you to visit again. When you have time, that is,” she said, like this was asking a lot.

“No way.”

“You said ‘anything’!”

“That’s way too much work. I’ll just come every day.”

“Wuh?” Shouko blinked at him.

“I can’t be bothered working out how often is too often or not often enough.”

“Oh…thank you!”

“Ah, right. Sometimes I’ve got a work shift right after school, so I might not make it on those days.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught someone staring at him. Rio. When he glanced her way, that expression was even drier than her usual one.

“What’s with that look?”

“You’re just openly flirting with her, and it’s appalling.”

“He’s flirting with me?! I wondered why my heart was beating fast!”

“I’m not flirting with you.”

“Oh. Shame.”

The older Shouko’s very existence was sending shock waves through his life, so he really didn’t need Shouko the Younger joining the war.

“Um, Sakuta.”

“Mm.”

“Speaking of selfish requests, I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Go on.”

When he nodded, Shouko reached for the side table. She picked up a folded piece of paper lying on top of a pile of textbooks.

“It’s about this,” she said, holding it up so they could both see.

At the very top, it said Future Schedule in a very word-processory font. The name field said Class 4-1: Shouko Makinohara in pretty handwriting.

“This is…?”

“Something we did in class in fourth grade.”

“I think we did something similar.”

It had a list of years, and you filled out each one yourself. The school did this to encourage children to think about their futures…or at least, that was probably the point of the exercise.

Sakuta didn’t remember what he’d written. He likely hadn’t given it much thought. He probably wrote something about going to a local junior high, graduating, moving on to a local high school, then suddenly landing a ticket to the best college in Japan. After completing higher education, he’d become prime minister and get superrich. Back in elementary school, he hadn’t known much about college, and prime minister was the first thing that popped into his head that sounded important. And he’d thought being rich was a good thing, so why not?

Even if Sakuta hadn’t written that himself, one or two other boys in class would have.

He’d happily filled out the list of years, no reluctance at all, no concerns about any of it. It had been like a game to him.

But the Future Schedule in front of him was nothing so trivial. It was mostly blank. The list of years went all the way until Shouko turned eighty, but she’d only filled in the first fifth. It stopped at the end of high school. There was nothing after that. A blank space that sent an ominous message.

He didn’t have to ask if her illness was the reason for it. Shouko had been born with her condition and spent her whole life painfully aware that doctors had given her dim prospects of surviving junior high.

“……”

And for that reason, Sakuta wasn’t sure what he should say.

While all her classmates were cheerfully filling in their plans, what had been going through Shouko’s head? Just imagining it made him feel sick. He couldn’t stand the thought.

“There were a lot of things I wanted to write,” Shouko said. “About being a grown-up and what I’d do then. I wanted to show my parents what I’d be like if I got bigger like everyone else.”

“Mm.”

“But I couldn’t do that in class. If I write my future, the grown-ups around me would get upset.”

“……”

“I started figuring that out in first grade. ‘Oh,’ I thought, ‘I can’t say things like that.’”

“For example?”

“When I said, ‘I want to be a florist when I grow up’ my teacher put her hands over her mouth and got all choked up. It was really uncomfortable.”

That teacher hadn’t meant to hurt her. She was clearly very nice. But because she knew about the heart condition, she’d been unable to hide the emotions Shouko’s words had provoked.

“I thought, ‘If I fill out this whole sheet, the teacher will get upset again.’ So I got stuck. The teacher told me to take my time with it and finish it at home.”

“And you’ve held on to it?”

If the homework was here, that meant she’d never turned it in.

“It was in my desk drawer. I planned to write the rest someday.”

Maybe she’d hoped that there would come a point when writing about her future wouldn’t be such a big deal.

“I’d take it out sometimes, look it over…and not write anything. I graduated without ever finishing it.”

If she was still holding on to it, then she must’ve regretted not completing it. Perhaps part of her knew that filling out this form would be a major milestone for her. Maybe both of those were true. Sakuta could try to imagine her feelings, but without an illness like hers, there was no way he could ever really know what she was going through. Shouko herself probably didn’t know the answer.

“I couldn’t even write about graduating from junior high. But…”

She sounded confused. She looked down at the page. Sakuta and Rio had the same expression on their faces. What she said and what was on the page itself didn’t match.

“Mm? Then what’s this?” Sakuta asked, pointing.

Graduate junior high.

Enter a high school with a view of the sea! (Minegahara High is my first choice!)

Meet the boy I’m destined to be with.

Graduate in good health!

“That’s what I wanted to ask about.”

“Huh.”

“I didn’t write this.”

“……”

The conversation was not going where he’d expected.

“You didn’t…?”

“No. It definitely wasn’t me.”

Then who did? This was getting spooky.

But he did have an idea who might have done this. The other Shouko. The big one.

Rio seemed to be thinking along similar lines. He’d have to ask her about it later. From what she’d said so far, little Shouko didn’t seem to know about the big one. They’d have to think long and hard about whether they should tell her. Little Shouko had enough on her plate dealing with her illness, and she didn’t need Adolescence Syndrome piled on top of that.

“Um, Makinohara.”

“Yes?”

“Is this what you wanted to write back then?”

He pointed at the high school plans she’d claimed she hadn’t written.

“Not quite.”

“Meaning?”

“It’s more like what I want to write now.”

“I see. If you were to continue, what would you write next?”

“Um. That would be…”

“It might be the key to solving this mystery. Don’t worry, Futaba and I won’t get upset.”

He glanced sideways. Rio appeared mildly annoyed at being spoken for but didn’t seem inclined to correct the statement. She’d have said something otherwise.

“Well, if you insist. First, I’d like to go to college.”

Shouko spoke softly, as if weighing her own feelings on the matter.

“And I think it would be lovely if I could find a nice boyfriend.”

She looked away, slightly embarrassed.

“And once we get closer, we could live together.”

“Even as students?”

“Yes. And if that leads to marriage, even better.”

“…A very aggressive life plan.”

“My mom and dad were married in college. So I always thought that was how everyone did it.”

She smiled awkwardly, like she’d worked out since then that it was fairly unusual.

He’d thought they both looked young, but they’d landed each other that early? Maybe Shouko was the reason they’d sealed the deal.

As he thought about that, there was a knock at the door.

“Uh, yes?”

The door opened, and a nurse came in. Shouko’s mother was with her. She bobbed her head at them. He’d met both Shouko’s parents when they came to collect the cat, Hayate, so they knew who he was.

“Shouko, time for your examination.”

“Okay. Um, Sakuta…”

“I’ll come again. We’ll talk more then.”

“Great! I’ll be waiting.”

Shouko saw them off with a smile, and Sakuta and Rio left her room. They walked to the elevators together.

“What do you think?”

He was asking about the extra entries on the Future Schedule.

“The most obvious answer is that Shouko wrote it herself and forgot.”

“A rational theory.”

“It’s her handwriting and didn’t look added after the fact.”

The idea had certainly crossed his mind. Those penciled characters looked exactly the same, both the shade and the weight of the lines. If she’d written it on a different day, the pencil would have been sharpened differently, and minor differences would have been apparent.

“The less rational explanation is the older Shouko did it.”

“But if that’s true…what for?”

“A prank?” Rio shrugged. Didn’t sound like she bought that explanation herself.

“Can’t exactly laugh that off, though. It does seem like something she’d do.”

But all that would accomplish was sow the seeds of chaos. Little Shouko had been pretty confused. Who went out of the way to upset themselves? What did that accomplish?

“But we did learn a few things.”

“Yeah.”

“If we must define the older Shouko’s being, we could say she appeared to act out the future little Shouko couldn’t write on her Future Schedule.”

“Or she’s living the future little Shouko might never get to.”

“Which matches what big Shouko said in the first place.”

 “The little me knows she can never be any of those things, but she dreams about it. And I think that’s what you see here.”

Those words had really stuck with him. A powerful, desperate, unvarnished burst of emotion. You could even call it “a wish.” The feelings behind it had a tight grip on his heart.

The elevator arrived. They stepped on board and rode it to the ground floor in silence.

They went back down the same hall they’d come in by.

Sakuta spent the whole time thinking about Shouko’s condition. He’d thought he understood how hard it was. He’d felt like he’d wrapped his head around it. But hearing directly from her lips how Shouko felt definitely drove it home and left his head spinning.

She was such a nice kid, trying to go through her life while staying positive, and he wanted to help. But Sakuta had no way of curing her condition. That harsh truth was eating away at him.

There was nothing he could do.

But he wanted to do something.

He knew he’d end up doing nothing, and being forced to live with these emotions and that knowledge was extremely frustrating.

“Azusagawa, I think you should just treat her like you always have.”

“I know.”

It was important to worry. But doing that too much would only make Shouko overly self-conscious about the effect she was having on the people around her, and that would simply increase her problems.

So he had to act like nothing had changed.

“Only other thing you can do is this,” Rio said, stopping at the reception desk. She reached for a green leaflet on the counter. A piece of paper, folded in three, with the words Organ Donor Registration Card written at the top.

Rio took two and handed him one.

“……”

Sakuta shook his head.

Rio’s eyes flashed for a second, but then she understood.

“Oh. You already have one,” she said, nodding.

“Got it two months ago.”

Right after he found out about Shouko’s condition. He’d seen the leaflet at the local convenience store and picked it up. It was already filled out and in his wallet.

Rio put one back and placed the other in her bag.

Naturally, that alone wouldn’t save Shouko. It certainly wouldn’t make the donor she needed magically appear. It had no real bearing on her personal situation, but if you were hoping for one person’s salvation, then becoming a donor just seemed like the right thing to do.

“So what now, Azusagawa?”

“Meaning?”

“You gonna marry Shouko?”

“……”

“I’m sure you’re aware the laws of this nation do not allow that until you’re eighteen.”

“Okay, that’s a leap too far.”

“You’re the one who asked what little Shouko’s post–high school plans were. You did that so you could resolve the situation with the older one, right? The extra high school plans included meeting the boy she’s destined to be with. That’s you, and it already happened two years ago when you met Shouko dressed in her Minegahara uniform.”

Rio recited her points too fast for him to interrupt. And everything she said lined up with his conclusions as well.

“It’s certainly a distinct possibility.”

“And since she achieved that goal, high school Shouko vanished. Or more accurately, her Adolescence Syndrome symptoms subsided.”

“So now we’ve reached the second act, with a college version.”

“If her purpose is to achieve the goals little Shouko couldn’t write on her Future Schedule, marriage is unavoidable.”

“Uh, Futaba…”

Was there no other solution?

“As your friend, I will attend the ceremony. Don’t worry.”

“Yeah, uh…thanks, I guess.”

He decided he wasn’t up to arguing the point.

Rio and Sakuta split up at the front doors. He still had to go see Kaede.

On the way back up, he stopped at a vending machine to get something to drink. He had too much on his mind, and all that thinking made him thirsty.

His finger hovered over the button for hot coffee, and then he saw a sports drink next to it. The same one Mai did commercials for. His finger snapped to that instantly.

He downed half the bottle, then put the lid back on. It was too much to chug at once. As he got up from the bench to head to Kaede’s room, he heard her voice.

“Oh, Sakuta.”

That was definitely his sister’s voice. Both new and old Kaede sounded the same, but only one of them still existed.

He turned around and found her coming toward him, slippers flapping. There was a nurse with her.

“If you’re in the hospital, why are you hanging out here instead of coming to see me?” she asked, puffing out her cheeks.

“You didn’t show up when you usually do, so Kaede has been asking ‘Is he here yet?’ over and over,” the nurse shared.

“I—I didn’t do that! I was just wondering aloud about how you were really taking your time.”

“And so she came looking for you.”

“Just so you know, Sakuta, walking is important for my rehabilitation. They’re letting me leave tomorrow.”

“You must have been so lonely without your big brother.”

“I—I was not!”

Listening to the nurse tease Kaede, Sakuta remembered something else important.

Like she’d said, Kaede was coming home tomorrow. Back to the apartment they lived in. Where Shouko was staying…

He’d been hoping to resolve that situation the night before, but Mai’s abrupt return had made everything more complicated.

What would Kaede think if she found an older girl staying with her brother? Especially since Shouko wasn’t his girlfriend.

“Are you even listening?”

“Uh, sure I am.”

“You clearly weren’t.”

“I’ll be here at the usual time tomorrow, so make sure you’re ready to go.”

“I’m already getting ready. I was packing things up earlier.”

She seemed excited about getting out of here.

Sakuta reached an important conclusion.

I’ll leave tomorrow to tomorrow.

He was sure his future self would handle it.

For now, he decided to let it be.

He had too much on his mind already, and adding anything else on top might drive him off the deep end.

3

He talked with Kaede until six, when visiting hours ended. Then he walked back to Fujisawa Station. He’d neglected to turn in his shift availability form at the restaurant he worked at.

Normally, even if he forgot, the manager would call him, and he’d just handle it then. But with Shouko staying with him, a lot of problems could happen if the call came while he was out. Best to avert these things before they happened.

But the detour meant he got home later than usual. And all the walking had left his stomach growling. Odds were Shouko would have dinner waiting. She insisted this was a fair exchange for letting her stay with him and had barred him from the kitchen. But that thought just reminded him how angry Mai had been.

“Look, she insisted, all right?”

He felt like offering the excuse even if it wouldn’t do him any good.

He got stuck at a red light. While he waited, he looked up at the December night sky, watching thin clouds pass overhead.

There was less than a month left in the year. He couldn’t decide if it had been a long year or a short one. A lot had happened, for sure. Meeting Mai. Dating her. Several cases of Adolescence Syndrome. Some of them were even fond memories now.

Maybe next year he’d be looking back at the mess Shouko’s appearance had caused in the same way.

But he had some steep hurdles to overcome first. At the very least, he had to find a better solution than the one today’s investigation had suggested.

“One that doesn’t involve a wedding…”

Midthought, the light turned green. He took a step forward, and a sharp pain shot through his posterior. Someone had just kicked him.

Somewhat belatedly, he turned around, clutching his butt and grumbling, “Ow?”

There was a high school girl standing behind him, in the uniform of a fancy girls’ school. A very proper-looking outfit that clashed horribly with her glittering blond hair, which was all piled up to one side. Her conspicuous eye makeup was not the kind of flashy look you applied when your skirt went all the way to your knees.

She was scowling at him, her lips pursed. Looking highly irritated.

When she didn’t say anything, Sakuta said, “Sorry, I left my wallet at home.”

“Huh?”

“Is this an attempted mugging?”

“Obviously not!”

She tried to kick him again, so he evaded the attack.

“Wait— Waah! Don’t dodge!”

The girl lost her balance and apparently blamed him for it.

He knew this girl. Her name was Nodoka Toyohama.

She was Mai’s sister from another mother and was currently living with Mai.

“No idol lessons today?”

Nodoka was part of the idol group Sweet Bullet and usually went straight from school to singing or dancing lessons. It was unusual for her to get home this early.

“None of your business.”

“Fair.”

He didn’t actually care, so he just walked away. It would never do to let the light turn red before he crossed.

“Hey, wait up!” Nodoka said, scrambling after him. “We just had a quick meeting today.”

She decided to explain herself anyway. And since they lived across the street from each other, they were going the same way.

“……”

“……”

They walked in silence for a while.

The sound of their footsteps echoed and lingered as they crossed street after street.

“Say something!”

“Huh?”

“Also, you walk too fast.”

Nodoka grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

“Just so you know, I’m in a hurry to get home. I’ve got an empty stomach and a full, busy mind.”

“You shouldn’t be thinking about anything but my sister.”

“She is what’s on my mind.”

“Liar.”

“I’m being serious here.”

“Then what day is it?” Nodoka asked, coming to a halt by the park entrance.

“Huh?”

The sudden, weirdly timed question pulled the rug out from under him.

“Say it.” Nodoka’s tone was grim, like she was forbidding him from making a joke answer.

“December second. Tuesday.”

“My sister’s birthday,” Nodoka said, before he even finished.

“……”

What had she just said? Birthday? Whose…?

“Oh, shit.”

His voice came out in a croak. His mind caught up with his voice a moment later. A wave of panic rushed through him, and his feet grew unsteady.

“You’re doomed,” Nodoka said, shaking her head. “This is why she came back last night!”

“She didn’t say anything!”

“It isn’t exactly hard to find out Mai Sakurajima’s birthday.”

Nodoka took her phone out of her pocket, ran her finger across the screen, and showed Sakuta the site she found.

It was the official site of Mai’s agency. Open to Mai Sakurajima’s profile page. Which clearly displayed Birthday: December 2.

“She should have told me…”

But it was a bit late for that now.

“How could she? You’ve got your hands full with Kaede. She obviously didn’t want to drop this on you, too!”

But that meant Sakuta was supposed to figure it out on his own. According to Nodoka anyway. But he hadn’t, so she was mad at him. Furious.

“She’s been worried about you and Kaede the whole time she’s been on location. She called me every night and only talked about you.”

“……”

“But you seemed to be doing weirdly well, and it turns out that’s because some other woman was looking after you? Go to hell!”

Nodoka’s anger was pretty justifiable.

He was quite mad at himself. This was pathetic. Frustrating. He wanted to go back in time. But that was impossible. He’d just have to do what he could.

“Toyohama.”

“Drop dead.”

“Lemme borrow your phone first.”

“No way.”

“It’s still December second.”

“……”

“Please.”

“…Fine. At least wish her a happy birthday.”

Nodoka thrust her phone in his direction. She was pissed at him but evidently decided Mai needed this.

He dialed, and the phone picked up on the third ring.

“Azusagawa speaking!” said a cheery woman’s voice. It was Shouko’s. Naturally—Sakuta had called his own number.

“I told you not to answer the phone, remember?”

If she inadvertently answered a call from his father, it could lead to all kinds of headaches. He’d never hear the end of it. And if his father decided he had to pay a visit in person, it would be even worse. That had to be avoided at all costs.

“You’re a bit anal about small stuff, Sakuta.”

“No I’m not!”

“Hold on—Sakuta?” Nodoka had worked out he wasn’t talking to Mai.

“Just a second,” he said, stopping her.

She went quiet and scowled at him.

“So what’s up with you?”

“Something came up, and I won’t be home tonight. Go on and eat without me. Make sure the windows are locked before bed.”

“Got it. Just buy me something in Kanazawa!”

“……”

“Did I guess wrong?”

“No, but…how?”

Shouko ignored this question.

“Have fun!” she said and promptly hung up.

“Whatever. Thanks for the phone,” he said, handing it back to Nodoka.

“Are you for real?”

“What?”

“You’re going to Kanazawa? Now? You know it’s not Kanazawa Ward in Yokohama?”

“Ishikawa Prefecture, right? I can make it if I hop on the Shinkansen. It’s only seven.”

“Seven forty-five, you mean.”

“If it’s almost eight, it’ll be close.”

“Wait, I’ll check.”

Nodoka quickly started tapping her screen. A few moments later…

“Oh, you’re right—you can make it. Catch the Utsunomiya Line at Fujisawa and get off at Omiya. Take the Shinkansen from there, and you’ll arrive at eleven thirty-five.”

“When’s that first train reaching Fujisawa?”

“Seven fifty-five. You got ten minutes.”

If he turned back now, he could make it in time.

“I’m off, then.”

“Call me when you get there. I’ll see if I can subtly pin her location down.”

“I don’t know your number.”

“Gimme your hand, asshole.”

Grumbling, she stuck her hand in her bag and felt around. Then she pulled out a pen.

“Come on!”

When he hesitated, she grabbed his hand and wrote on it. It tickled, and he let out a weird noise.

“Seriously, drop dead,” she said, like she’d spied some trash in the street.

But she kept writing. Eleven digits. Her phone number.

“That’s a permanent marker!”

He rubbed at it, but it wasn’t coming off.

“This way, it won’t rub off before you get there.”

“If I show up with your number on my hand, Mai’s gonna be furious.”

“You deserve it.”

“Right, well. Thanks.”

“Just get going, you ass!”

“You’re the one who stopped me!” he yelled over his shoulder, already rushing toward the station. He broke into a run to make sure he didn’t miss the train. He was soon out of breath. White clouds formed each time he exhaled.

He could leave tomorrow to tomorrow.

But not today.

Today he had to take care of things himself.

So he ran as fast as he could.

4

Having successfully made it onto the 7:55 Utsunomiya Line train, he rode that for an hour and twenty minutes, then got off at Omiya. There, he bought a ticket for the Hokuriku Shinkansen. It was all designated seating, so once on board, he only had to find his seat and wait until he reached Kanazawa.

It was too dark outside to admire much of the passing scenery. He had no one to talk to and had brought nothing to pass the time with, so he was literally just sitting there with nothing to do. Desperate to get there as soon as he could but with no diversions to fill the time, he found it hard to settle down. They were going 160 miles per hour, but he wanted to go even faster.

But regardless of what he wanted, the Hokuriku Shinkansen Kagayaki 519 moved calmly along its route. It stopped at Nagano Station in Nagano Prefecture and Toyama Station in Toyama Prefecture before finally reaching Kanazawa Station in Ishikawa Prefecture exactly as scheduled, at 11:35 PM.

Sakuta was on his feet before it stopped, waiting by the doors. He was on the platform the second they opened.

He headed for the gate, scanning the station for a pay phone. Catching a glimpse of familiar green at the base of the escalators, Sakuta pounced. He dialed the digits on his palm. He must have worked up a sweat, but the Sharpie magic had ensured the numbers weren’t even blurred. They’d probably be there all week.

The phone was picked up the second it started ringing.

“Sakuta?” Nodoka’s voice.

She’d clearly been waiting for his call. She’d answered way too fast.

“Where’s Mai?”

“Where are you?”

“Still inside the Shinkansen gates.”

“Perfect. I got a text ten minutes ago saying she’s near the roundabout by the station’s east entrance. She sent me a picture of a cake the film crew brought in, so I think she’ll be hanging around a bit.”

“The east entrance, got it. And thanks.”

“You don’t have much time! Go!”

She hung up.

Sakuta hung up and ran off, following signs for the east entrance.

After he was past the gates, he started searching for the traffic circle in question.

He passed under a dome-like ceiling, all glass and metal frames, and finally made it outside. A cold wind blew through him.

And there was something white in the air. A lot of it.

“You’re kidding…,” he gasped.

It was straight-up snowing.

There was some torii gate–like art installation outside the station, and the top of it was already covered in a layer of white. The whole thing was lit up and looked magical. He spun around and realized the whole station was beautifully framed by falling snow.

“Kanazawa’s amazing,” he said, genuinely meaning it.

But he couldn’t afford to spend time here. He hadn’t come all this way to gawk at the sights.

The bus roundabout was just outside the station, but it was fairly massive. It wouldn’t be easy to track someone down here.

But he saw some powerful lights clustered to one side. On stands. And he saw a giant microphone on a rod like a fishing pole. Definitely a film shoot.

There were ropes cordoning off the area, and a crowd gathered outside to watch the filming. Locals and tourists, probably an even split.

As Sakuta got closer, a round of applause went up. The big stars were making their exit. Lots of people were calling out “Nice work” and “Thank you.” An older man bowed to the crew and the crowd of fans and stepped onto a microbus. The doors closed, and it drove away.

An instant later, the crowd roared—almost a shriek. A truly stunning actress has emerged from the behind the crew—Mai.

She turned to the staff, politely saying, “Good work today, everyone. I’m looking forward to the final day of shooting tomorrow.”

Then a woman Sakuta recognized as her manager led Mai to a white minivan, almost at a run. She turned once before boarding, bowing her head at the crowd of fans.

Sakuta was in that crowd, too, but he couldn’t exactly call out to her now. One careless move on his part could cause trouble for her.

The sliding door closed, and the van pulled away. The staff watched it go, and with a sidelong glance their way, Sakuta went after it.

But there was only so far a human could chase a moving vehicle. By the time he turned the first corner, the van was already out of sight.

“Haaah…haaah…”

Panting heavily, he looked right and left, to no avail. Between his emotional state and all the running, he was sweating pretty heavily. He considered taking a gamble and running to the next intersection, hoping they’d be stuck at a light. But he didn’t know his way around, and it was nighttime and snowing to boot, so finding a car he’d lost track of once already would take a miracle. And Sakuta knew better than to expect real life to work like a TV show.

His only option was to call Nodoka again and see if she could find out where Mai was staying. But by the time he got there, it would definitely be December 3…and there would be nothing he could do about it.

“I hope she’ll be kind and laugh this off as an unavoidable accident…,” he muttered. His chuckle sounded hollow.

“It’s not even remotely amusing,” said a voice behind him.

Sakuta knew that voice. In an instant, his dejection turned into surprise and apprehension.

He swung around, staring in disbelief. She stepped out from behind a building. Wrapped up warm like a prerace marathon runner. It was dark, and her hood was up, so he couldn’t make out her face.

“Why did you come here, Sakuta?”

She took another step forward, and the streetlights finally lit up the face of the girl he’d been chasing.

“Mai…” He was genuinely astonished. Why was she here?

“This way,” she said. She quickly glanced around them, then grabbed his hand and dragged him into the alley.

Parked on the other end of the backstreet was a white minivan. The same one he’d been chasing.

The back door was standing open, and Sakuta was hastily pushed inside.

“All the way back.”

“Right.”

He shifted down the seat. Mai climbed in after him and slid the door closed.

The car pulled out. Mai’s manager was driving. Ryouko Hanawa, if he remembered her name correctly. Mai had once told him about her old nickname, Holstein.

Mai pulled her hood off, revealing her post-shoot look. She was staring straight ahead, and the makeup brought all her features into sharp focus, making her even more beautiful than usual. This wasn’t his Mai—it was the celebrity Mai Sakurajima. The glamorous person on the other side of his TV screen. And that aura made it difficult to talk to her like he usually did.

It didn’t seem like she was planning to say anything herself. She was staring at the cars passing them by, looking mildly annoyed.

“……”

“……”

There was a weird tension in the air. An electric energy warning him not to speak.

But Sakuta was in a race against time and couldn’t lose his nerve here. The digital clock in the car showed 11:56.

“Mai, when did you notice me?”

She hadn’t even glanced in his direction as she left the set. He’d been hidden in the crowd. He found it hard to believe she’d picked him out that fast.

“The uniform really stands out.”

He was wearing a Minegahara uniform. Spotting that way up here in Kanazawa probably would be pretty noticeable. But in that crowd, it would have been hard to see much of his clothes. And Mai had no way of knowing he’d be in Kanazawa at all.

“Nodoka was being particularly talkative, so I thought there was a chance she’d put you up to this.”

“She said she’d subtly get a bead on your location.”

The whole plan had been to surprise her and celebrate her birthday. But Mai wasn’t surprised, nor did she seem happy to see him.

“Getting up here couldn’t have been cheap.”

“Well, you’re not exactly wrong.”

“Do you have the money for the fare home?”

“Maybe if I don’t take the Shinkansen…”

That was a lie. He’d blown all the money he’d earned waiting tables and, even then, barely had enough to get here. The only way he was getting home involved digging into the money his father wired him and Kaede every month, and that was supposed to cover living expenses. They’d have to be really frugal with their food budget for a while…

He sighed.

“How much do you need?”

Mai clearly knew he was lying. She’d reached out to the seat in front of her and taken her wallet out of her purse.

“…Uh, well…”

He’d made the choice to come all this way, and it didn’t feel right to borrow train fare from her.

“Fujisawa to Kanazawa is fifteen thousand yen, I believe,” Ryouko mentioned offhand from the driver’s seat.

“Then here,” Mai said, handing him two ten-thousand-yen notes.

“I promise I’ll pay you back.”

He felt like he’d never looked more hopeless. He was being a total freeloader. This was on the same level as sponger theory.

“You have a place to stay?” Mai delivered another blow.

“I was gonna kill time somewhere till morning.”

“In this snow?”

“……”

Her tone made it clear she wouldn’t tolerate arguments or flippant remarks, so he simply shut up. She was definitely treating him like a kid.

“Ryouko, sorry, but can we find him an empty room at the crew hotel?”

“I’ll stop the car and call.”

“…Thank you,” Sakuta said. It seemed like his best option. Trying to turn down the offer would just make things worse.

“So?” Mai sighed, glancing at him. “Nothing else to say for yourself?”

Her eyes flicked toward the clock. 11:59.

“Happy birthday, Mai.”

Just as he finished, the digital display clicked over. Midnight. It was officially December 3.

“You said that waaay too late, stupid,” Mai said, finally smiling. Her eyes on him.

As the van drove away from the station and the center of town, it slowly climbed a hill, stopping five minutes later.

Ryouko pulled the hand brake, took off her seatbelt, and said, “We’re here.”

“Thanks, Ryouko.”

“You’ve got fifteen minutes for your date. If more pictures of you two end up in the weeklies, I’ll never have the courage to face the president again.”

“Don’t worry. Nobody will care about a second round.”

“Augh, Mai!”

“We’ll be careful.” Mai replied obediently, like a little kid.

“And have this boyfriend cheer you up properly,” Ryouko said. This time the advantage was clearly hers. “You’ve been gloomy ever since you got back, and the crew and director are all worried.”

“R-Ryouko!”

It wasn’t often he saw Mai this rattled.

“Don’t say stuff like that!” she said. The way her lips jutted out was very childish. Or maybe just…her actual age? Before he knew it, Sakuta was smiling.

“What are you smirking about? Come on.”

Mai opened the door and got up. The cold air hit him, and he shivered.

“But Mai, it’s seriously cold out there.”

“You can borrow this.”

Mai took off her down jacket and handed it to him. She was wearing her usual coat underneath, which looked pretty warm.

Mai hopped out, so he put the borrowed down jacket on and followed. He realized the jacket had the movie’s title logo on it. They must have had it made for this shoot.

He took a few quick steps through the snow, catching up with Mai. The view in front of him suddenly opened up.

“……”

His jaw dropped. They could see all of Kanazawa from here.

“Ryouko showed me this the first day of filming. Pretty, isn’t it?”

“Your manager knows the area well?”

“The boyfriend she almost married is from here.”

“That…sounds awkward.”

She must have come here to meet his parents. That didn’t happen unless you were pretty sure. He didn’t know what had gone wrong, but it seemed best not to ask.

“That reminds me, Mai.”

“What?”

“You were feeling gloomy?”

“While you seem totally fine.”

A devastating counter.

“I was a mess.”

Without deflecting with jokes or lies, he shared how he still hadn’t gotten over what happened with new Kaede.

“…I should be grateful to Shouko. She’s saved you twice.”

The first time had been two years ago, when he was still in junior high. He’d met high school Shouko on the beach at Shichirigahama, and she really had saved him. The second time had been last week. When the grief at losing one Kaede had overwhelmed him, she’d shown up to scold him.

“I couldn’t be there for you,” Mai said. Flattening the emotions in her voice. A trace of sadness appeared on her face.

“Well…”

He started to make excuses for her but…decided not to.

Two years ago, Sakuta and Mai weren’t together. They weren’t a couple. They hadn’t even met yet.

There was no need for her to feel bad about it this time, either. She was playing a lead role in a movie filming here in Kanazawa.

“And I know you needed help from someone.”

But apparently the way things had turned out didn’t seem to sit well with her.

“It’s just…it hurt that it wasn’t me.”

She spoke like she was talking about someone else. Maybe she was. There are times you have feelings that surprise you so much they feel like they aren’t even yours. Mai might maintain a mature veneer, but that didn’t make her immune to unexpected emotions.

“You being here is all I need to feel happy,” he said.

“That’s the same as me doing nothing.”

“I think that’s even more impressive. I wish I could be like that for you.”

He gave her a hopeful look. But she very deliberately avoided meeting his eyes. He gave up and kept talking.

“Yesterday…I mean, I guess the day before yesterday now. I was really happy you came back.”

“Even though I apparently showed up with some very inconvenient timing.”

“I have no words.”

He winced. He’d definitely panicked at the time.

“Getting your old flame to comfort you? Who do you think you are?”

“Yeah, Shouko was never like that. You’re the only one—”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

Mai wasn’t even gonna let him finish protesting.

“Aww.”

“More importantly, it’s freezing out.”

Now she was changing the subject. She glared at the down jacket like she wanted it back.

“I got you loud and clear,” he said, opening the jacket to take it off. But before he could, Mai slipped inside, pressing her back up against him.

“Close it up! It’s freezing.”

Her wish was his command.

“I thought you said we couldn’t do this for a while.”

That rejection had hit him hard. Just remembering it made his heart break.

“It’s cold, so we can.”

“Hooray for winter.”

“And you don’t need to keep making excuses.”

“I’d still like you to hear them.”

“I meant you came to see me, so all’s forgiven.”

This statement was in a much quieter voice. It sounded like she was mad at him and embarrassed but was trying not to be. From behind, he couldn’t see her face. But feeling her this close at hand was all he needed.

“……”

“……”

“Sakuta.”

“What?”

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

There was a note of urgency, like the shame was catching up to her. Thinking he’d better do what she said, he closed his eyes.

Mai turned so she was standing sideways and put her hand on his cheek. He could hear her breathing. Feel her warmth. Smell…something, maybe her shampoo or her makeup. A tantalizing scent that reached his nose despite the snow.

“Sakuta…,” she said sweetly. Tantalizingly.

She held her breath.

He could feel her stretching up.

And just as her weight leaned against him…

“Owww!”

…she twisted his cheek, hard.

His eyes snapped open.

“That hurt, Mai!”

He looked at her for mercy, but she didn’t let go.

“Also, why?”

That had seemed like the lead-up to a really nice moment. He’d truly let himself believe a kiss or something equally pleasant was forthcoming. This was a cruel twist.

“I’m annoyed by how relieved I was to see you.”

She seemed incredibly upset by this fact.

“And I still haven’t punished you for cheating on me.”

“I haven’t cheated!”

Who was it who said he didn’t need to make excuses?

“Oh, but I guess if you were relieved, then it’s all— Owww!”

When he tried to change the subject, she twisted his other cheek.

“Sakuta, where’s my present?”

“Your what?”

“My birthday present.”

“I’m not enough?”

He’d emptied his wallet getting here. The account he kept his work money in was down to a few hundred yen.

“No.”

“I’ll do something better for Christmas, so let me off this time.”

“I don’t know what my work plans are then.”

“I want to eat cake with you.”

“You should really spend it with Kaede this year.”

“Christmas with my sister?”

“You do that, and I’ll give you a present, too.”

She glared up at him through her lashes. This was oddly unscary. Maybe because even in the dim light he could tell her cheeks were red.

“We’ve been together six months now…and today…well, I want to return the favor.”

Her voice was so soft it almost got lost in the wind.

“Mai, is this something sexy?”

“…Couples usually do those things.”

“I am aware.”

“So don’t you go panting after any other women.”

Mai was usually so regal, but between the shame and the cold, she seemed smaller. Like a frail thing cradled in his arms. It was adorable, and he was not going to hold himself in check for long. He let the impulse overwhelm him and tightened his arms, pulling her closer.

“H-hey! Sakuta! Not yet!”

“It’s your fault for being too cute.”

She’d driven him off the deep end.

“H-hey! Where are your hands going?”

“Ow!”

Beet red, her heel scored a direct hit on his foot.

“Owww!”

He was left hopping around on one foot, cradling his wounded limb to his chest.

Mai pulled away and straightened her disheveled hair.

“Ah, Ryouko just texted me,” she said as she left him behind. “She found a room for you.”

“…Thanks,” he gasped, barely able to speak through the pain. He stopped hopping and curled up.

“You’re such a ham,” she said.

“It really hurt this time,” he said, glaring at her boots with tears in his eyes. Those things were deadly weapons.

“Well, you shouldn’t have touched me there.”

He could still feel the softness on his palm. No matter how cold he got, he’d never forget it.

“Quit fantasizing about it.”

“You’re a grown-up, Mai. Nothing I can imagine would faze you.”

“You’re just being gross.”

“Aww.”

“Oh, and I’m staying at your house until the Shouko thing is resolved.”

“So if I never resolve it, you’ll never leave?”

They’d yet to figure out a concrete game plan for this Adolescence Syndrome. Well, they did have one idea, but it wasn’t a realistic one.

“Sure, but we’ll never be alone together. Isn’t that a problem for you?”

She smirked at him. That was her old smile. She turned to head back to the car, light on her feet. Just watching her like this made Sakuta feel all right.

Kaede would be coming home tomorrow. Shouko would be there. And once filming was done, Mai would come rolling in, and it would be pure, unbridled chaos. Just thinking about it gave him an ulcer. But he just had to relax and enjoy it. Life wasn’t something you could control.

“I’ll leave tomorrow to tomorrow,” Sakuta muttered.

But as he climbed in the van, Mai said, “It’s already today.”

Forcing him back to reality.