「CHAPTER 5」
Yoshino recovered smoothly. It was not only because he was originally healthy,
but also his positive frame of mind might have brought him luck. As Yoshino continued
to devour the food Yanase brought him, his low body weight, which was due to the stress
before the deadline and the fever, was brought back to normal.
And today was the fireworks display......
Their meeting place was located in front of a small shrine; in a direction away
from the festival grounds. When he went at twilight, Hatori was already there. Maybe
because today was a day off from work, Hatori was dressed casually, and for some reason
Yoshino's heart gave a thump when he saw him.
Wha- what? My heart 'thumped' just now...
Yoshino forced himself to conclude that this was because he was just surprised at
the unfamiliar clothes and called out to Hatori.
“Hey!”
He decided to act like his usual self, but his voice obviously sounded shrill.
Wah...My voice sounded messed up just now......
Yoshino thought Hatori would point out how strange his attitude was, but he saw
Hatori's behavior was oddly awkward as well. Surely Hatori was also tense, just like
Yoshino.
“......Let's go. I know a good spot where we can see the fireworks better.”
Yoshino hurriedly chased after Hatori who began walking ahead of him at a brisk
pace. While Yoshino was thinking it was probably unnatural to not say anything, words
would not leave his mouth either. They walked in the direction opposite from the festival
in silence and after going through a narrow road they arrived at a deserted riverbank.
“The good spot is here?”
“I heard about it from a neighbor. Local people rarely come here. Besides, it
seems you can see the fireworks better here.”
“Hmm.”
With that, their conversation ended again. The sounds of the people from the
fireworks grounds did not reach this secluded place. The only sounds that could be heard
were the buzzing of the insects and the murmur of the river.
We'll have something to talk about again when the fireworks go up.
Yoshino accepted this and was about to sit down on the riverbank, when Hatori
suddenly spoke.
“......You'll have a different editor.”
“Huh!? Why!?”
He was starting to sit down, but this surprised him and he froze on the spot. As
Yoshino gazed in astonishment, Hatori continued speaking indifferently.
“This time, it was my fault the manuscript was late. I lost your......the author's
trust, so I did what was natural. No one can be your replacement, but if it's my
replacement, there are many. Fortunately, all the best editors are gathered in my
department.”
Hatori plainly informed him, without giving Yoshino a chance to interrupt him.
“I have the editor-in-chief's consent. If you want to request an editor......”
“Hold on! Wait a minute! What is this all of a sudden!?”
Unable to follow up with this sudden turn of events, Yoshino hastily interrupted
Hatori. Didn't he call him today in order to settle the matter that happened a few days
ago? This was resolved unilaterally, but he did not agree with it.
“I already made up my mind.”
“What do you mean made up your mind!? Calm down, Tori! No, maybe I'm the
one who should calm down first?”
While Yoshino was in a state of confusion, Hatori further added a few final
words.
“I love you.”
..........Ha?
Yoshino's mind turned blank at the monotone words that sounded as if saying the
menu of tonight's dinner.
“I think you already know, but I wanted to tell you properly myself.”
Hatori spoke like it was a thing of the past, causing Yoshino to blink.
I love you? You already know? What in the world is he talking about...?
Yoshino became confused as he was not following along with the subject of the
conversation that was quickly progressing all on its own. Immediately, he thought he
might be able to understand if he heard it one more time, so he asked Hatori to say it
again.
“......Sorry. Can you say that again......? What you said just now......”
“I love you. Ever since I can remember, I've always loved you.”
Hatori stared straight at him with a plain look and clearly told him each word with
a solemn expression. With that, Yoshino finally was able to understand what Hatori was
saying, but now he was struck with a different bewilderment.
“??? Wait a minute. But don't you love Yuu...?”
Tori loves Yuu, and Yuu loves Tori, right? Yuu just couldn't admit it and turned
him down, so Tori believed the only way to not hurt his own pride would be to use me...as
a substitute?
Hatori's words completely did not coincide with the story Yoshino expected.
Hatori made an extremely ill face at Yoshino's question.
“......Why do I have to be in love with him, out of all people?”
“What do you mean? Huh? What? Am I wrong about Yuu......?”
“Yeah. How the hell did you make such a disgusting mistake about us?” Hatori
said, while frowning with disgust. No matter how much he looked at Hatori's appearance,
it was not an attitude of a person in love.
“Then......you really like me...? Right???”
“I thought you were acting strange because you heard about my feelings from
Yanase.”
“No- not at all...!”
While Yoshino shook his head in denial, he remembered Hatori's ambiguous
phone call a short while ago. Thinking that since he had not heard anything about
Hatori’s feelings from Yanase, Yoshino denied Hatori’s sudden question; but he
remembered that at that time he trembled at the fact that Hatori's question was the same
as Yanase's. Without realizing it, he had stiffened his attitude back then. Surely, Hatori
must have misunderstood him because of that.
So that's why he came to my house......
Finally, Yoshino realized he was the one who made a huge mistake. After Hatori
looked at Yoshino's blank look with a complicated expression, he suddenly cast his gaze
towards the river.
“I took this job because I wanted to stay by your side. When I became your editor,
I was happy. But I knew you were straight, so I hid these feelings for a long time.”
“Wha- what...? That's...”
Yoshino was overcome with surprise at the importance of the fact he was just
informed with and weakly sat down on the spot. Hatori hid such feelings from him for
such a long time and chose even his job on behalf of him......
“I didn't notice it at all......”
“I made it so that you wouldn't notice,” said Hatori looking indifferent, but how
heart breaking the hiding had probably been for him. Surely, he had been terribly
concerned with it, and must have suffered.
And yet, I depended on Tori's kindness for over 20 years without being aware...?
The moment he thought that, Yoshino was filled with apologetic feelings towards
Hatori. With this sort of attitude, he might be too dense for a popular author drawing love
comics.
“Ah...eh...then what? You mean you made me into your fantasy?”
Yoshino asked an unnecessary question, thinking to fix the heavy atmosphere.
But, as he was slightly laughing, having made a joke to break the ice, Hatori's reply was
in all respects serious, contrary to Yoshino's expectations.
“Always.”
“......”
Suddenly, Yoshino's face gradually turned hot and he noticed that his heart was
starting to beat violently. The setting sun had already set, and the rest of the sky was
darker than the horizon, that was dyed a light purple.
“Wha- what are you doing? Without a person's permission......”
Yoshino complained so that his increasing heartbeat would not be noticed while
hoping that his burning cheeks were hidden from Hatori in this darkness.
Then, Hatori laughed with a touch of self-ridicule.
“Is it disgusting? The guy you looked at as only a friend for 28 years has these
feelings for you.”
“I'm not particularly disgusted......”
......Huh? Yeah. I don't think I'm disgusted......
Even though he was kissed, even though he was forcefully made love to, he did
not feel disgust at all. Yoshino titled his head to one side, as he noticed this for the first
time.
“You know, I really......”
“You don't need to worry. Just disregard my feelings. I apologize for taking
advantage of you a few days ago. It was completely inexcusable and I'm really sorry,”
Hatori said, bowing deeply. Ever since Hatori had grown taller than him, Yoshino did not
think the day would come when he would set his eyes like this on the top of Hatori's
head, which he seldom ever saw. “I don't know what I'll do if I'm near you. I might hurt
you again..........So, I think it's best that I'm apart from you.”
Hatori settled the matter by himself, walked a few steps away from Yoshino and
laid down on the slope of the river bank. Annoyed at Hatori, who was trying to maintain
a distance from him, Yoshino deliberately planted himself right next to him.
“You're quite selfish.”
“......Sorry. I'm not going to lose control of myself anymore,” Hatori replied
bitterly to the words criticizing him and turned his face away from Yoshino. And almost
that same instant, the sky fully lit up. As soon as Yoshino realized it, he heard a low,
base-like sound vibrating in his stomach. The time for the fireworks display was starting.
“It's beautiful.”
“Yeah.”
It had been a long time since he last watched the fireworks with Hatori. As they
were watching the splendid fireworks, Yoshino muttered, “......I like you Tori.”
“As a childhood friend.”
Hatori instantly replied to him, and Yoshino was at a loss for words.
“You don't have to force yourself. I get it.”
A slight laugh could be heard in Hatori's voice. The same, usual light laughter
now seemed pained to Yoshino.
“It's not like that. Seriously- I think I like you, or maybe it's more like there's no
part of me that dislikes you......I am so close to you, but I don't get it, you know.”
He did not know whether this was love or just friendship. Whether he wanted to
be friends with Hatori, or if he wanted to take it to the next level......
Yoshino was overwhelmed, as he thought about it in desperation, but the answer
was nowhere to be found. This was the first time Yoshino did not understand his own
feelings.
I'm basically simple-minded......
White was white, black was black. There was nothing in between white and black.
That was why he also had not thought of having any other relationship with Hatori
besides being friends. No, he had not had the opportunity to think while being so close
with him.
“Yeah, we are close. We're close but we're not family. We're far too close.” Hatori
muttered as if warning him, and these words startled Yoshino.
Oh, he was thinking the same thing too...... And yet, I couldn't sense his feelings
for over 20 years...
“......Sorry. If now, I say something like, 'I actually loved you too!!' it will end up
being a happy ending.”
When Yoshino said that, Hatori laughed a little. The fireworks were set off with a
crack in such a way that they drowned out the laugh.
“Stu-pid. Don't think things will happen like in those kinds of manga.”
“..........”
Hatori turned his face towards Yoshino and Yoshino thought he really looked
happy.
Seriously, what should I do......? At this rate, he's definitely going to leave me.
He did not hate Hatori. Rather, he loved him. But, like he had it pointed out to
him a while ago, it was a 'love' for a 'childhood friend' and for a 'companion'; he did not
know if it was as a 'romantic love'. The only thing he was able to state clearly was that he
definitely did not want Hatori to leave him.
“Recently, I was told by Yuu that I rely on you.”
“By Yanase?”
“I think that Yuu is definitely right. I depend on you with my job and even my
private life. I understand I shouldn't do that, but I don't want you to leave me.”
After he spoke evasively, he continued in a soft voice, “......I just want you all to
myself.”
Then Hatori began to reason with him in a tone of voice that had realized
everything.
“You don't really need me. My existence is not necessary for you. Right now I
happen to be in front of you, so you just think that.”
“..........”
Could someone else really become Hatori's replacement? Would he be all right if
Hatori was not here?
“Don't worry. There are only skilled editors in our company, so you can rest
assured about that matter.”
Then he jokingly added that Yoshino had no choice but to deal with his personal
life on his own, but Yoshino could not agree to that.
“......If you stop being my editor, do you plan not being around me anymore?”
“..........”
“Do you plan not talking to me anymore!?”
Hatori sat up with out replying anything and turned his back to Yoshino so as to
not to show his facial expression.
“It's better for us like that. Sorry, but I'm going to go now......”
“Wait!”
As Hatori stood up and was about to leave, Yoshino unintentionally grabbed his
hand. Rather than thinking of a solution in his head, Yoshino's hand had moved ahead of
him. Hatori turned his face towards Yoshino and forced a smile as he tried to brush of
Yoshino's hand.
“Let go. It hurts.”
“No.”
At this rate, Tori is going to leave me. I don't want that. I definitely don't want
that!
He did not know the reason, but he was certain that this was his only feeling.
“Try to do it one more time.”
“Do what?”
“Kiss me. If I'm disgusted for real, I'll definitely say it.”
Yoshino was in a state of crisis so this was the only plan he could think of. If he
could not work it out in his head, he had no choice but to try to use his body. Yoshino
decided that for the sake of not losing Hatori, he had nothing left to do but to make his
feelings clear.
“Cut it out. You're gonna regret it.”
Hatori was trying to shake him off more strongly than before, but Yoshino
desperately held on to his hand.
“I decided for myself whether to do this or not. Because of you, I'm now
confused. If I don't settle these feelings, I won't be able to think of anything else!”
“......”
Hatori looked surprised at Yoshino's persistence, and then fell silent.
Tori, you idiot! Say something...!
Yoshino was patiently putting up with the silence along with his restless feelings.
Then after some time, Hatori suddenly lost the strength in his body.
“......All right,” Hatori said only that and gently stroked Yoshino's cheek with his
free hand. The instant Yoshino felt the loving stroke of Hatori's fingers, his lips were
locked with Hatori's.
“Mmh...!
......I can hear the sound of the fireworks.
Hatori's lips were a little cold from his low body temperature, but it was strangely
pleasant. It was just like Yoshino had thought; he did not feel any feelings of disgust. It
seemed even as if the kiss was completely natural.
“......Ah......”
This quietly marked the end of an ever long kiss.
“Yoshino?”
“...Wha- what...?”
The moment his name was called and he came to his senses, he was suddenly
seized with shyness.
Wha- what kind of face should I make...?
He was not disgusted, but if he could not make a calm face, then he also did not
know what he could say. When he cast a glance at Hatori, he was gazing at him with a
gentle, calm expression that Yoshino had never seen up till now.
“..........!!”
Yoshino's heart violently beat more and more at that expression.
Be a little embarrassed too!!
Then Hatori stood up on the spot, turned to Yoshino, whose eyes were swimming
in embarrassment, and held his hand out to him.
“Let's go home.”
“......Okay.”
Hatori smiled kindly at him, and Yoshino, still blushing, gave a small nod. Then
he grabbed Hatori's stretched out hand.
* * * *
“Wah~! We're soaked all the way down to our pants! Should we...take a bath
before changing clothes?”
Standing at his front door, Yoshino gave out a frustrated sigh as he looked at the
water droplets dripping down to his feet. He had been glad Hatori invited him to go
home, but within a few minutes of walking, sudden heavy rain, like a shower, had begun
to fall. In this state, the fireworks display must have stopped as well.
“What are you doing, Tori? Hurry up and get inside!”
In the downpour of the rain, Yoshino had run without even an umbrella and to
prevent Hatori from trying to go home, he brought him to his own home. He knew there
was nothing to talk about, but for some reason he could not part from him. Yoshino had
The walls of his insides accepted and wrapped around Hatori's magnificence as it
carefully began to make its way in. It did not feel like he was being torn in two, rather, it
felt like being filled up.
“Chiaki, can I move?”
Hatori had inserted everything in and he asked from behind with a hoarse voice
full of desire. When he looked up, he saw that in the reflection of the mirror Hatori was
wrinkling his forehead and looked tense. The very moment he saw that face, Yoshino's
heart ached for some reason.
...Why does my heart ache...?
“Chiaki?”
He expected Hatori to not be able to stand it any longer, but he looked like he did
not plan on moving until he heard Yoshino's reply. However, he could see that Hatori
was under great stress from inserting his manhood inside him.
“......All right.”
Yoshino answered as he withstood the unknown pain in his chest. Then Hatori
exhaled a small sigh and began to move their intertwined hips. At first slowly, but then
little by little he lost control.
“Ah...! ...Ah...HAAH......!”
He rummaged inside the deeply connected place and thrust into him as if
excavating his insides. The attack felt strong; rather than the pain he feared, it was
ecstasy. His shaking body seemed like it would melt and fall apart at any moment.
“No...! Ah, ah...AAH---!”
In order to support his unstable body, Yoshino held on to the sink with all his
might that his veins clearly stood out on his hands.
Last time, he had fainted from the pain, but now only a strong pleasure was trying
to steal Yoshino's consciousness.
“---Chiaki, call out my name.”
“Tori...your...name?”
“Yeah.”
“...Yoshiyuki...?”
The moment he said his first name that he was being asked to say, Hatori happily
let out a small laugh. The laughter embarrassed him, and strangely he felt his chest turn
warm.
“Yeah, more. Call it out more.”
“Aah...! Ah! Yoshi...yuki......!”
While Hatori pestered him like a child, he did not ease his molesting hand. He
continued thrusting violently and their sweat dripped onto the sink.
“Yoshiyuki...! Ah! No, I'm...coming......”
If this continued, he would turn to jelly; he was not himself anymore. When he
moaned that he was at his limit, the intensity of the pressure increased further. And when
the chaos made everything incomprehensive, a sweet whisper was lowered into his ear.
“I love you, Chiaki.”
“......”
His insides vibrated violently and at the same time the inner most part of his body
gradually turned wet. Hatori also knew that he had reached his limit just like Yoshino
himself had from the heat pouring into him.
“Chiaki...”
Hatori suddenly embraced his sweaty body from behind and buried his face into
his shoulder.
......Somehow, this is bad...
For some reason, Yoshino looked away from the warm feeling welling up inside
him, as he slowly placed his hands over the arms that embraced him. Even though his
body was enveloped in exhilaration, his mind was strangely tranquil.
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