Elsia’s Castle
The Dragon Slave I released has blown away the evil sorcerer and the army of “Undead Monsters” following him, along with the white castle on the shore of the lake where they were hiding.
― Fuu. This job is so easy.
“That just about does it. ♡”
I turn around proudly and wink.
Duchess Elsia and her Knights, as well as that girl must’ve been surprised by my powerful magic. They’re just standing there, rooted to in place, with their mouths down.
The duchess’ wrongly-sized-to-begin-with crown slid partway off her head.
The castle had crumbled away and drowned in the lake without a trace along with the cliff on which it stood, so I turn that way and sharply make a "V" sign.
“Fu, fu, fu, for I, Lina Inverse, knight and sorceress, this is a piece of cake! All’s well that ends well! Victory!”
“Like hell it is!”
I received a hard kick from Duchess Elsia behind me.
***
“Aah! Why is this world so irrational!? Poor me! I just did my job!”
I hit the table with the large beer mug I had just emptied in one go.
“Don’t swap your own lack of common sense for the irrationality of the world.”
The girl sitting on the other side gulped down her mug just like I did, raised it to the sky and then put it down on the table.
We both ordered refills at the same moment.
― Just so you know, what I drink is just a plain juice. However the contents of her mug are a fairly expensive alcohol. And even though she’s drinking it at the same pace as I, the color of her face hasn’t changed a bit.
“What do you mean by lack of common sense, huh?”
“What do you have in common with common sense?”
“I think someone wearing absurd clothes like yours has no right to call me on that.”
I told her, looking at her unnecessarily-revealing costume.
“You have quite a sharp tongue, shrimp.”
“I’m not like someone who sent all the nutrients from her brains to her boobs.”
“Oh dear. Don’t you think the case is not that I have big boobs, but that you have too little?” Twitchy-twitch.
My eyebrow twitches slightly.
“You’re quite witty yourself.”
“...Ho-ho-ho.”
“...Fu, fu, fu.”
Our eyes clash over the table. Another client who wasn’t able to withstand the strange atmosphere left the bar as if running away. The owner held his head in his hands.
I just happened to team up with that woman for this job by chance, however we’ve been acquaintances for a long time.
Her name is “Naga the Serpent”
She’s my biggest and strongest, lifelong rival.
― At least that’s what she claims.
I will never acknowledge that. (...I sure am blunt…)
There is only one person I perceive as my rival and it’s that girl from my hometown.
Though she may not even notice me to begin with…
However, I’ve fought Naga a few times in the past and I’ve even admitted that I lost once.
What we’re disagreeing about this time is our current job.
It’s been a month since a lone sorcerer brought a group of undead and attacked Duchess Elsia’s castle - the small, but famous-for-its-beauty Lantus Castle.
― It was a typical job.
Having had no real military preparedness to begin with, the castle easily fell into the sorcerer’s hands.
Having somehow escaped, Duchess Elsia and the remaining knights burned with passion to bring down the sorcerer, but they couldn’t do anything about their lack of power. If she looked for help from the king, he’d lend her his army, but it would be the same as announcing her powerlessness across the country.
If unlucky, she might even have her lordship revoked.
That’s why she asked two sorcerers, who happened to be passing by, for help.
Simply put― Naga and me.
The job we were entrusted with was “Defeating the undead army and the sorcerer manipulating it,” however…
“Where the heck is the common sense in blowing away the enemy along with the castle?” “But isn’t it efficient!?” I puff my cheeks.
“... Duchess Elsia didn’t say anything like “Don’t blow away the castle.” when signing the contract…”
“Nobody would say anything like that, normally! That’s not even a case of common sense!”
She shouted, hitting the wooden table.
“And because of that lord got mad and said we won’t get paid until we provide her with a new castle… You have any idea how much trouble it is for me!? I did hear I would be having a partner when I was accepting the job, but… If I’d known it was you, I never would have accepted it!”
“Me neither!”
The atmosphere became strained again.
― I was the one who broke it off.
I let out a big sigh and looked aside.
“...Anyhow, the only certain thing is that sitting here won’t get us anywhere. The problem is the new castle, we can’t go and build a new one… So, we can either look for an old, unused one, or swipe one being used by someone…”
“...swipe... You’re impossible…”
“There’s no problem if we take one from some evil person, right? In every country, the law states that evil people have no human rights.”
“No it’s not.”
...It’s not, isn’t it… But I don’t think we should recognize the human rights of people who don’t recognize the human rights of others…
However, it’s pointless to dispute that with her right here.
“― That said, I haven’t heard any stories about clever bandit groups making any old castles their hideouts around here…”
“Ah, I have a clue regarding that.”
“Really!?”
Naga nods in confirmation.
“Though― It’s not bandits, it’s a sorcerer.”
***
“This is it.”
Said Naga and stopped.
“...You mean that…?”
Duchess Elsia said with dissatisfaction in her voice, holding with her hand the crown that had started to slide down. The faces of the knights accompanying her don’t look too well either.
―Well, I suppose there’s no helping it.
An old, black castle surrounded in thicket and located deep in the mountains a short distance from the city. It’s perfect as a hideout for criminals, however it doesn’t look too appropriate for a castle of a lord and knights.
According to Naga, the sorcerer living here had conducted some suspicious tests on living people in a certain country ten years ago and has become wanted. He drifted around until he got here and stayed.
I have no idea how she knows all that, but it’s certain she has an information network I don’t know of.
“...For the person who received territory from the king and even the title of a lord to live in a castle like this...”
“Oh well… It does look quite different from your previous castle.... That’s for sure.” I said.
“However, when it comes to a castle you could use within your territory, this is the only one. And if you tell us to build you a new one because you don’t like this one here, we’re really gonna get angry.”
“Boo...”
The duchess takes a peek at the faces of her knights.
Dissatisfaction was written clearly on their faces.
“Well… We don’t have much choice if there’s nothing else… Once we remodel it, it should look so-so…”
She says, as if trying to convince herself while she fixes the crown that slid off.
I nodded in agreement.
“It’s settled, then. Okay, let’s go, Naga.”
“Right.”
She nods, gets by my side and we set off.
Duchess Elsia and her knights follow behind us.
We stop, surrounded by a strong “grassy” smell.
Naturally, the castle has gatekeepers. Five skeletons and three ghouls.
“...Oh dear, undead…”
Spat out Duchess Elsia while concealing her body in a thicket.
“I can’t stand them. Zombies stink of rotten flesh in summer, ghouls are filthy and skeletons are just unappealing…”
Naga glares in irritation at Duchess Elsia, who started grumbling about something again.
...Well, I don’t blame the duchess for hating undead monsters, but it’s really irritating to continuously hear complaints behind one’s back.
It's off the subject, but there’s a legitimate reason sorcerers use the undead to protect their residences or anything at all.
It’s pretty obvious if you give it a thought - it’s pretty much free.
You can find heaps of dead bodies lying around on cemeteries and battlefields. You attach a low-grade ghost to them or infest it with “Death Worm” and there you have a zombie.
Needless to say, they don’t require food, maintenance or a salary. The only cost is production and then you can use them until their flesh rots away and they’re unable to move (Don’t imagine that). Though they stink.
Once that happens, you can just attach a low-class ghost to the bones they left behind and use them as skeletons. You can literally work them to the bone, it’s so economical!
However, no matter if they’re zombies or skeletons, the downside is that they accept only simple orders because of their lack of abilities. They’re useless if someone messes up the orders.
Quite famous amongst sorcerers is the sorry episode of a sorcerer who attacks a castle with over hundred of skeletons. Because he’d ordered them to “kill everything that moves inside the castle”, the skeletons started fighting each other moment they passed the gates, and they were all annihilated without causing any damage to the castle.
...That stupid sorcerer wasn’t me.
And for a bit more flexible jobs, you keep ghouls.
If you feed them with zombies, who rotted and can’t walk so well anymore, they will become quite loyal.
―Though, it’s not really a good thing when they get too attached to you…
Once, when I visited the home of a sorcerer, I showed an insincere smile to a ghoul who worked there as a servant and was almost hit with an offensive spell.
“However… These guards are gonna be a bit troublesome… A setup where skeletons meet the intruders while ghouls go call reinforcements, huh? ... How are we gonna go about that?”
Hearing Duchess Elsia’s words, Naga and I look at each other and nod.
“Right… Since we’re on the same side, there’s only one tactic we can use.”
“You mean… that, right?” Saying that, Naga grinned.
And that is―A simple brute force approach!
...Though it’s not something I could tell outsiders.
A ghoul grips on the spear in his hand.
Skeletons raise the swords in their right hands to the height of their chests.
It means they’re vigilant against two girls approaching the castle head-on.
Naturally, that’s Naga and I. I don’t know about the skeletons with their lack of discernment, but seen from the ghouls’ perspective, we should look like two human women walking towards them, while having a friendly chat.
Sure, we look at each other as we walk along laughing, but what’s coming out of our mouths isn’t recent gossip.
We chant offensive spells in quiet voices.
“...Well then, shall we?”
“Yeah, let’s do it.”
We both stop and release the spells we chanted in exactly the same moment.
“Fireball!” “Freeze Brid!” ...Huh?
The red ball of light I fired and the blue ball of light Naga fired must have caused some weird mutual interference because they changed trajectories drastically, as if attracting each other, and crashed long before they reached the skeletons at the gates.
Cling!
Leaving behind a “clean” sound, the lights annihilated each other.
“...”
“...”
The two of us froze.
I get it, that’s what happens when fire and ice magic collide.
―It’s not the time to be admiring that effect! “It’s your fault for chanting some weird spell!” Shouted Naga.
“What’s that supposed to mean!? That’s my line! Why did you chant some cheap spells like ice!”
Undaunted, I talk back to her.
“What are you thinking!? Cold ice spells are better during the summer! It’s not all about using flashy spells!”
“Stop it, fools!”
Along with Duchess Elsia’s voice, I felt her kick from behind.
Stomp.
Both Naga and I fell and hit the ground face-first.
“Ouch… Why did you do that…?”
“Don’t give me that! More importantly, do something about them!”
I look towards the castle as she said that. The ghouls have already disappeared inside the castle and five skeletons head our way making dragging sounds and wielding swords.
Right. It’s not the time to quarrel.
Naga and I confront the skeletons head on. “It’s because of you and your complaints, okay?” I murmur to her, facing forward.
“You were shouting too.”
I wanted to talk back, but I changed my mind.
“Let’s stop this. Or the lord is gonna kick us again.”
“...You have a point.”
Both of us starts chanting spells.
“Dam Brass!”
This time, our voices perfectly harmonize.
Two skeletons are smashed with a single shot. However, the remaining three come at us without flinching (They have no emotions, so it’s only natural).
“Leave this place to us!”
Saying that, Duchess Elsia’s knights rush forth.
“Get lost! It’s hard to beat them up with swords!”
I shouted but it was already too late. The knights were already crossing swords with their enemies. One of the knights cut off the head of a skeleton with a broadsword. Its skull only tilted at an unnatural angle for a second―and that’s all.
Then, the skull sprang back to its original position and the skeleton attacked us as if nothing had happened.
“Uwooh! Our swords don’t work!”
“Uwooh! Our swords don’t work!”
“It’s the same as the other time!”
Daaaaamn! Have those knights never heard of learning from one’s mistakes!?
I think I see the reason why the previous castle was so easily taken away from them.
However, if I use magic now, it’ll result in casualties among the knights as well.
“Leave this to us!”
Said Naga and started to chant a spell.
...I’m sure it’s not the case, but she’s not thinking of blasting them away along with the knights, is she…? “Megido Flare!” No way!
The moment Naga chanted the spell, crimson flames engulfed the knights and skeletons.
The skeletons crumble in an instant.
The knights burst out shouting.
“Uwaaaa… Huh? It’s not hot.”
Megido Flare―
It’s a white-magic spell used by top-rank Bishops. It mitigates evil will and hostility and repels low-class ghosts with malicious intents.
Needless to say, it has no effect on flesh and blood knights. Actually, it reduces killing intentions and ill thoughts, so it makes one feel refreshed.
I had no idea that that woman wearing the clothes of an evil sorceress was capable of using a spell like that…
“Nicely done, Naga.”
“It was nothing.”
She raises her thumb and winks at me. And at that moment―
“Don’t scare us! Idiot!”
Duchess Elsia’s kick hits Naga once again.
...She’s such a quick-tempered lord. The knights must have a really hard time with her.
“Sorceress-dono! Look at that!” One of the knights shouted.
Ten-odd skeletons and zombies come through the gates one after another.
Damn! So annoying!
I spread my hands to the sides while chanting a spell, then I pointed my right hand at the undead.
“Dis Fang!”
My shadow on the ground takes an unnatural shape and stretches.
―Well, to be precise―
A shadow of a big dragon came to life from inside my shadow.
In a blink of an eye, it moved across the ground, spread its enormous jaws and bit at the shadows of the undead.
That instant― Crack. Break.
The skeletons’ bones break and zombies’ flesh falls off.
The exact places that were bitten by the shadow of the dragon are being crushed.
There is a vivid mark left by a fang on the skin of one of the zombies.
“Come back, shadow dragon.”
With the order, the shape of my shadow returns to normal.
“You’re quite something too. As expected of my rival.”
Said Naga.
Goddammit… I may be repeating myself, but I’m not your rival…
***
Our group broke into the castle.
After defeating the group of undead in front of the door, we observed the situation for a bit, but there was no sign of movement. Most likely he realized the battle on the outside was a waste of resources and decided to lure us inside the castle and defeat us there.
However!
No matter what scheme you use, defeating me, Lina Inverse, is impossible!
If it comes down to that, I will win even if I have to blow him away along with the castle... Oops, no good! I was forbidden from doing that.
One way or another―
There is a main hall in front of us right now.
On the opposite side of it are stairs leading to another floor.
As soon as we entered the hall, a door under the stairs opened and zombies showed themselves.
Naga takes a step forward, puts her hand to her hip and speaks out loud.
“Ho-ho-ho-ho! Do you think you have chance with me, Naga of the Serpent, using these!? No matter how many you have, five or ten zombies are...”
Swarm, swarm, swarm…
“Ten or twenty of…”
Swarm, swarm, swarm… Hey, hey.
“Thirty of forty of…” They keep coming.
“...Fuh.”
She laughs quietly and turns around to us, then she pats my shoulder.
“I’ll leave this to you, Lina.”
...What the heck is this…
But, even if they’re just zombies, unlike outside, I can’t use powerful offensive spells indiscriminately, so fighting so many of them will be tiring. If they bet on sheer numbers and charge at me while I chant a spell, it’s gonna be seriously difficult.
“Fuh… I guess I have no choice.”
I raise my right hand above my head while chanting the spell.
“Dam Brass!”
A part of the ceiling crumbles and falls to the ground as rubble.
As I chant another spell, I grab Naga.
It’s a “Levitation” spell.
Embracing Naga, I float in the air and call out to Elsia-kou.
“Leave the enemies from the second floor on up to us!” The color of the lord’s face suddenly changes.
“J-Just a minute! Shouldn’t you say something like “Leave us and go ahead”!?”
“Nope.”
I said bluntly.
He who has the last word wins. That’s how this world works.
We ignored Duchess Elsia, who was still shouting something and moved to the second floor through the hole in the ceiling I opened with “Dam Brass”.
Fifth, the top floor.
That’s where the sorcerer’s room was that we were aiming for.
We’ve had our share of hardships getting here from the second floor.
We expected the zombies that came out on the first floor to be the main force, but that wasn’t the case.
Zombies, ghouls and skeletons kept swarming without end. I’m really amazed he created that number of undead. That sorcerer really must’ve had nothing else to do.
His goal, most likely, was exhausting our forces.
Indeed, they were just zombies, but if we acted like fools and diligently took down all of them, by the time we reached the allimportant master of the castle, the necromancer, neither of us would have the power to fire even a little fire ball.
Using the same trick we used to break through the first floor, we knocked down walls and broke through ceilings to get past all the undead and finally arrived here.
“Well then―”
“Let’s do it!”
Naga and I kicked the door open at the same time.
Four big human silhouettes in a huge gloomy area without a ray of light.
We release our spells at the same moment.
I cast “Flare Arrow”, Naga “Freeze Arrow”. We aimed at different shadows.
My spell makes a direct hit and the fire instantly lights up the shadows.
A Stone Golem!
Which means, naturally, that this spell had almost no effect.
In that flash of light, I noticed a person’s silhouette on a throne deep in the room.
That’s most likely the sorcerer in question.
For now, I have no intention of defeating that sorcerer. Even if I fired an offensive spell towards that throne I saw and took him out, the zombies who’ve already received orders wouldn’t stop.
We need the evil sorcerer to take back the order he’s given to his undead minions. But most importantly, even though he’s an evil sorcerer, to come and raise hell, and then take him out on top of that for just our own personal gain would be too cruel.
...You there, who just thought “Oh, but it’s fine to kick them down without hearing them out if they’re bandits?” Of course it is. (Ah, I had the final word again.) Of course, Naga is filled in on that as well.
“Lina! You attract the attention of the golems! Leave this to me!”
After saying that, Naga starts chanting a spell. It seems like she has some kind of idea. I fire Dam Brass at the golems coming my way with heavy strides. However, since their bodies are not only big, but hard as well, I can’t simply bring them down with one hit.
What I aim at are their legs.
Stopping them from moving is the first priority.
In the meantime, Naga’s chant continues.
―It seems to be some kind of summoning, but I don’t know that technique too well.
She makes all kinds of symbolic charm signs using her fingers with both hands stretched out in front of her chest.
A faint drop of sweat emerges on her forehead.
And then―
Her spell is completed.
“Gu Ru Dooga!”
It appeared in response to her “Words of Power”!
A dimos dragon―
***
They’re almost legendary dragons that live only in the Kataart Mountains where, ruling over all of the darkness of the world, “The Demon King of the North” resides. Their black scales absorb light, their breath spreads nothingness.
Forget about golems, even golden dragons, also known as “Dragon Lords”, have to give way before their power.
To put it bluntly, when someone summons something like that, you have no other choice than to use magic that borrows the power of the Demon King himself, or make a run for it.
It’s truly an invincible dragon.
It’s more than enough of a trump card to startle the enemy and bring him to capitulation.
―That is, if you’re able to properly summon it.
I’ll admit Naga’s powerful, as she was able to summon something like that with just finger symbols and spell, without even drawing a summoning circle, however…
What the heck was she thinking when she summoned a dragon inside a room!?
With its body stuck between an unexpectedly strong ceiling and floor and only waving its tail, it’s nothing more than an obstacle.
“Think before you use magic!”
“Buzz off! Why don’t YOU do something, then!?”
“Awright! I’ll show you how it’s done!” I come up with a plan in an instant.
―However, that sorcerer is bugging me. Even after seeing our fight, he still remains seated on his throne. Is he so confident of himself, or did his hips give out…?
It’s better to assume he’s hiding some kind of trump card… But it’s no use thinking about it! I just gotta do it!
“Dam Brass!”
My spell bores a hole in the chest of one of the golems. It’s one of those that I broke the legs of earlier with a spell. It uses its hands to support his body despite that, but it can’t move freely any longer.
It conceals my sight and I can’t see the sorcerer’s throne from where I stand.
I pointed my finger at the golem.
“Naga! Fire “Dam Brass” at the exact spot my spell landed on my sign! Make it precise!”
“It’s a piece of cake!”
She smiled at me after responding.
I nodded emphatically and ran at the golem.
“Don’t hit me!”
“It should be fine!”
...In her case, that “should” is really uncertain… In my case too.
When the golem noticed me running straight at him, it roared with an earth-shattering voice.
Its giant body closes in on me.
―Now!
I swing my right hand. That’s a sign for Naga, of course.
The golem swings his hand in my direction in an unnatural position. If it connected, it would result in a fatal wound without a doubt, but it’s an extremely obvious, wide swing. I dodge it easily by bending over. I get up to his chest and put my hands to its side.
It was exactly at the same time.
The moment Naga’s “Dam Brass” hit the mark on the golem’s chest and smashed it―
And the moment I cast the spell I finished chanting.
“Dill Brand!”
Originally, it’s a spell that blows rocks straight up, but I changed its purpose a little bit this time.
Hit by her spell, the golem crumbled, and the instant it turned into rubble, my spell sent those fragments flying straight behind it!
In other words―right at the throne where the sorcerer sits.
And I jump up from the floor again.
I join the flow of the stones.
In case those stones don’t knock him out, I will kick him pointblank myself. No matter who he is, it’s impossible to see through our plan in this situation. And on another side, it’s enough if one of us just lands a hit on his chin. Just that will give him a concussion and render him unable to fight.
The throne is closer and closer.
Is he planning not to dodge it? Or is it that he’s unable to dodge it? Even now, the figure sitting over there hasn’t shown a sign of movement.
“You’re mine!”
I raise my fist to my chest― “Dwaaah! Aaaaaaargh!” I stopped in a panic.
***
“Cheers!”
Naga and I made a toast at a bar with the reward money we received from Duchess Elsia.
Naturally though, she has strong alcohol and I have juice.
We empty our cups in one gulp and order refills at the exact same time.
I stretched out my hand for the food lined up on the table.
“...But that was one strange job, wasn’t it?”
“...Yeah.”
Naga nodded at my words while biting into the chicken.
“What in the world were we fighting with, I wonder…”
I put the piece of lamb I was about to eat back on a plate, absent-mindedly.
I remember the figure sitting on the throne in that castle.
It was merely the rotten corpse of a sorcerer.
He probably died due to some kind of sickness.
It’s pretty obvious if you think about it. It can’t be healthy to live with the rotting undead. He probably caught some strange sickness from the zombies he created himself.
He couldn’t order the zombies, ghouls or skeletons to go buy him some medicine when he became unable to move.
His last moments must’ve been quite tragic.
To all the evil sorcerers in the country! It’s not a good idea to fortify your hideouts with only the undead. It may be somewhat costly, but it’s better to hire some living company as well.
The undead and ghouls created by that sorcerer were just loyally following orders they were given, not being able to understand their master was dead.
After the showdown at the throne, we defeated the remaining golems, Naga sent the dragon back and we temporarily withdrew outside the castle. After consultation with Duchess Elsia, who had run away, we spent ten days exterminating the undead inside the castle.
And today we handed over the castle. In this way, we somehow managed to receive the promised reward from the lord. “...But Duchess Elsia was really happy, wasn’t she?” She nodded in response to my words.
“She’s a bad-tempered, eccentric, middle-aged woman, but after seeing her happy like that, I don’t think she was all that bad.” The door to the eating house was kicked open.
Naga and I look that way in confusion.
There stood Duchess Elsia, just as we talked about her.
She has bloodshot eyes and her shoulders are heaving up and down as she pants heavily.
She’s not even trying to fix up her crown that’s about to fall down.
“Duchess E-Elsia …”
The ghastly atmosphere makes us unconsciously hold our breath.
“D-Do you enjoy living in your new castle?”
I said, trying to loosen up the atmosphere and Duchess Elsia responded with a grand smile.
“Oh, yes… It was extremely comfortable… Up until a moment ago when it crumbled down, that is.”
…
“Whaaaa!?”
Naga’s voice and mine sounded in harmony.
“I-It was quite old.”
“P-Probably so… No, I’m sure.”
“Yeah! And it must’ve become quite fragile… since a certain someone create huge holes all over the castle using magic for no reason at all…!”
We looked at each other with pained expressions.
“...Run for it.”
“...Let’s run.”
We both take off at the same time.
“Wait! You won’t get away!”
And…
And once again, Duchess Elsia’s kicks fly at us.
(Elsia’s Castle, The End)
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