Slayers - Volume 10 - Chapter Aft

Afterword

Scene: Author + L

Au: That’s another reprint come and gone! This was volume 10, “Conspiracy in Solaria”!

L: Isn’t Solaria the name of the hotel you were staying at when you had to name it?

Au: Yes! I think I mentioned this somewhere before, but I was staying at a hotel for an event at the time, and my editor needed me to settle on a title for publicity reasons. So I just used the hotel name. Er... Well, not just. The place wasn’t called the Conspiracy in Solaria Hotel or anything.

L: I think that went without saying! Still, how could you just nick a name like that? You should’ve at least tweaked it a little.

Au: Well, I do tweak names now and then. But if I go too far, I can end up duplicating the name of a character I’ve used before or altering something into obscurity.

L: I seem to recall a short story where something about a nine-tail fox became something about an obnoxious couple.

Au: Sometimes I put G*ndam parodies in the short stories too. There was also a time I included a Northern Song Dynasty (Hokusou) vase that I tweaked by making Hokusou into “fox owl” (fokkusu ouru). It had a fox and an owl crest. Stuff like that.

L: I imagine nobody figured that one out.

Au: Yeah. I thought people might not, so I dropped a couple of hints, but no one recognized the origin of the vase.

L: It kinda feels like... maybe you should own up to it.

Au: Well, when I’m playing games on my own time, I prioritize clarity for myself. I frequently give my characters obvious names. For instance—I don’t use this one anymore—but before I debuted as an author, I’d have a mage named Lina. An RPG I played a few years ago had so many character classes that I couldn’t keep them straight, so I just named my characters after them. The warrior guy was Battler, and the warrior lady was Figh from “fighter.” I’d also give my female units cute-sounding names with “lin” at the end. For example, I’d have a star mage called Starlin.

L: That’s awful! There’s nothing feminine or cute about that! I hope your allies throw you into line! I can’t even tell if those are tweaks or cop-outs!

Au: But compared to that, naming Solaria after a hotel is nothing!

L: Honestly... I know you’re probably just messing with me, but anything would sound better after those horrible examples. I have a feeling that Sherra’s a victim of your terrible naming sense too, isn’t she?

Au: At first it was just a joke, but later on I had a Q&A with fans that went kind of like this...

Q: “Dynast’s four subordinates aren’t named Dai, Nast, Grau, and Sherra, are they?”

Me: “That’s awesome! I’m stealing it!”

Au: That’s how it happened!

L: Don’t outright steal things! And now I feel bad for Dynast’s subordinates!

Au: Ha! No worries. I’ll tweak them a little so it’s like... Dae and Nosst and Grao and...

L: Don’t just tweak them that little! Hey! I was wondering, but... You didn’t name me irresponsibly like that, did you?!

Au: That would be funny, but sadly, no.

L: Sadly?! I’m starting to wonder... Did my self-imposed moratorium on slaughter in afterwords to improve my image give you the mistaken impression that you could get smart with me?

Au: Wait, that was a PR thing?!

L: Yeah. And I’d say the jig is up. Fortunately, I happen to have one of those Author Destructo Lasers that the karaoke place was giving out to celebrate the grand opening of their new location near the station.

Au: What?! Wait! How did you get such a tailor-made— Zzzzzt! Fwsh.

L: The author has now been reduced to his component particles. But as long as darkness remains in men’s hearts, cheap and overly obvious naming schemes will continue to plague the world. They’re the worst for those who must bear them, so when you lovely readers have kids, make sure not to give them weird names! And with that warning to all of humanity... So long, everyone! See you next volume!

Afterword: Over.