Slayers - Volume 11 - Chapter Aft

Afterword

Scene: Author + L

Au: Whew. Almost ate the big one there.

L: You survived?! Granted, I never put up a fight any of the other times you were killed in an afterword and then came back just fine... But reviving within the span of two simultaneously published novels still feels a little fast.

Au: What do you want from me? That’s just how the world works. Anyway, this concludes the reprint of Slayers: Delusion in Crimson!

L: Even for the novels, which have a pretty high body count, a lot of people sure do die in this story.

Au: True. I feel like the fundamental philosophy of part 2 is that people are going to die, but it inspires those they leave behind to appreciate life all the more.

L: Hang on. Do you think you said something cool just now? I used my laser beam to break you down to your constituent atoms, you come back one volume later all “whew, almost ate the big one there,” and you expect to sound like a credible philosopher on death and sacrifice?

Au: Erk... You do have a point there. Damn. How do I get people to take me seriously again?

L: Let’s pretend you actually died last time, and I’ll handle all subsequent afterwords myself!

Au: No freakin’ way! You’d just make them stupid!

L: Well, excuse me! Actually, wait... are you under the impression that the afterwords where you appear aren’t stupid?

Au: Er, w-well... never mind that now. Ahem. But reviving so casually because I have to keep appearing in the afterwords does take some of the gravitas out of the deaths in the series... Ah! I know! Why don’t we try it the other way? Everyone who previously died in the story will turn out to have been alive the whole time!

L: That’s even more stupid! And it would completely undermine the drama! Think of volume 2, The Sorcerers of Atlas!

Halciform: To take back my lost love...!

Real Rubia: Whew. Almost ate the big one there. Oh, Halciform, long time no see!

Halciform: ...Huh?

Rubia: Um, Master Halciform, is she...

Halciform: Wait, what? Rubia? You’re... alive?

Real Rubia: Of course I am! You didn’t really think that would kill me, did you, silly?

Rubia: (whispers) The real me is a very different person...

Then Lina and Gourry would have nothing to do but eat!

Au: Is that so wrong?

L: You bet it is! Even Talim, who’s just a head, would come back saying “almost ate the big one there!”

Au: Yeah, okay. I guess that wouldn’t work, would it?

L: See? Even my world food tour would be better than that!

Au: Yeah, I have to disagree. But, thinking about it, it’s hard to decide who lives and who dies in these stories. A while back I was talking with a certain editor over lunch, and he said, “By the way, what happened to Randy from the short story? He’s part of the royal family, isn’t he?”

I replied, “Well, I wrote that he’d stopped moving at the end of the short story, so he’s probably dead.”

And then he said, “What are you saying, Kanzaka-san?! People can’t die in Special!” He was so insistent, I thought I was going to die... but I took those words to heart.

L: I guess it’s not so uncommon. Really, you have to wonder what happens to all those bandits Lina’s always blasting away as a gag.

Au: I do usually gloss over that, yeah. Sometimes I leave it ambiguous, or I don’t even decide for myself. That’s to let the readers imagine things. Sometimes I talk about the games or the Knight of Aqualord comic or the anime as a parallel “part 3,” in major part because of that.

L: I see. So the reason you don’t write about me is because you want to let the readers imagine my amazing adventures, and the infinite possibility they represent, for themselves!

Au: No, that’s not what I—

L: If I just drop a title like “L vs. Beautiful Innkeepers Nationwide,” then readers can enjoy imagining my exploits! That’s your homework for next time, folks! Come up with my adventures based on that title and send in your letters before the next afterword comes out!

Au: Wait! The next afterword—

L: Well, see you in the next book!

Afterword: Over.