On the following Monday,
As if to celebrate the lifting curtains of the upcoming-- uh... the upcoming Otaku Word Chain game between our Clotaku Club and MoeRe, the entire school was in a state of unrest.
...That was a joke.
Aside from the sickly patients of the Monday disease, the school was lively as always. It would be a stranger sight, if not a severe issue of our school, if these bright, young teenagers were emotionally affected by some word game happening in a club.
Amidst this school full of energy, I was alone, tense and afraid. My final class of the day had past, and it was my time to go down to the infirmary and begin the match.
I felt like I was walking into an exam room to take the National Scholastic Ability Test-- the ones on June and September, especially. They're the worst, I heard. I couldn't concentrate-- I couldn't settle down. Every step I took toward the infirmary felt heavy and bothersome. But I couldn't back off now; running was no longer an option.
--And I've always known that, but it was good to remind myself. I approached the infirmary's inner door, and entered the room...
"Oh, my... welcome."
...Then I found the room devoid of people, save for Miss Yu Youngseon. For once, she was not sitting in front of the computer, but instead on the couch, staring at an object on the table in front.
The object was.... a cup of noodles?
"Are you having cup ramen?"
"Yep. Want some?"
"No thanks." I only asked because cup ramen doesn't really fit someone like you!
She did not bother insisting further, instead electing to rub her sleepy eyes. "Oh, I'm so sleepy... I didn't get any sleep yesterday! I used to be perfectly fine with skipping two days worth of sleep, and now, I can't even stay up for one day since I'm over twenty-five..."
...I could not find a kind, appropriate remark, so I chose to remain quiet.
Moments passed by as the nurse griped about her long-gone youth, then she suddenly turned her attention to me. "...By the way, did you study for your test?"
It's a match, not a test! I replied neutrally, "Oh, uh, sure, somewhat." It was a little embarrassing to proudly proclaim that I had been spending any amount of time memorizing Otaku vocabulary.
The nurse flashed a smile, accentuating the noticeably darker circles beneath her eyes. "'Somewhat', is it...? I'm jealous, I haven't studied much at all. I'm worried! What should I do...?"
"There's always someone like you in every class!" There's always at least one of those kids in class who cry about not studying enough on the day of exams! And, just as I had feared, you're the third member of our team!
"I felt like I was in school again, having to actually study and learn something... I was pretty excited."
"You spent all night trying to memorize words?!"
"You don't memorize words... you understand them."
That just sounds like a line straight out of a shoddy study guide! I looked at her in disbelief, but the nurse paid no heed.
She slowly lifted her arms, moving as though she was sleepwalking, and mixed the dry noodles with the soup in her ramen cup. "Ah... so fragrant. This beautiful smell-- I think I'm in heaven."
"...Miss Yu, are you going to be okay?"
Those are cup noodles, right? Not drugs?
"Hmm? ...I don't know what you're saying~. I'm always like th-- *Chomp*, *slurp*, *slurp*."
"Can you please eat more gently?!"
She's supposed to be a respected nurse! And a beautiful lady! And she's making the soup fly everywhere and leaving stains on her clothes!
"I'mreally*slurp*hungry*glug*right*sip*now, so-"
"Don't bother talking! You don't have to reply, so keep eating quietly! Please!"
It's even scarier how your face remains serene and sleepy, while the rest of your body is aggressively attacking those noodles! And Yeonji, too! Why do girls around me always end up eating like a pig?! I don't expect anyone to handle every grain of rice with care, but this is just too much!
I patiently waited. The nurse finished the noodles, drank the remaining soup, and then marked the end of the meal with a relieved sigh, signaling a full stomach. Fortunately, she had no further chance to ruin her image.
"Phew... I can feel my energy come back. Oop, I feel a belch coming up."
"Please, please don't..."
The nurse giggled. She snapped the wooden chopsticks in half, put them in the now-empty cup of noodles, and then threw them away in a garbage bag.
"...You look very nervous," she commented.
"Pardon?"
She grabbed an empty can that had been thrown on the ground by Yeonji yesterday, placing it into the bag with the rest of the garbage. She turned around, "I'm sure it's about the match today... your legs are shaking hard."
"Ah, oh. I see." I must have been shaking without noticing. I became overly aware of my legs, taking manual control over every muscle so that my instincts could not.
The nurse smiled soothingly. "Why is that...? Does it bother you that, whoever wins, someone's club will be gone?"
"Ack." I gave a look asking 'How did you know?'
She laughed. "Hah, kids always give away what they're thinking through their facial expressions. ...And I like that."
Are all adults capable of reading our minds, then? It's true, though, that I can never tell what she's thinking. Not in the 'I don't know what the hell you're thinking' way, I mean.
"..."
'Bother me', huh?
It was more accurate to say that I was being indecisive. Yeonji would be furious if she knew, but... I still hadn't a particular reason to win the match and put an end to MoeRe. Why not? I couldn't answer. It was likely related to the classic question of 'do I really have to?'
A match about putting the lives of school clubs on the line sounds awfully like... something straight out of an anime. This story doesn't belong in my life.
"Well, I'm a closeted Otaku, too." said the nurse, interrupting my soundless sulk. "But I have nothing against people who aren't closeted, either. I don't really care what happens today, but I am still going to try my best."
Fortunately, she had the same mindset that I had about this match. Really, what kind of loser would take this Super Idiot Wars EX seriously? Oh... wait, that's just about everyone else.
...Out of the six people involved in this match, less than half the people are sane? What a cruel world!
"...Although I feel this way, you shouldn't have the same attitude, Injin."
"Why not?!"
--And the nurse turned her back on me! This was my only chance to connect with someone who was being sane for once! And, what's worse, my thought got read again! Is it really that easy to tell what I'm thinking? My hands sprang up instinctively in an attempt to hide my face.
The nurse explained. "Of course it's because Yeonji--... No, forget that, I said nothing. It's because Yerin...."
"I heard you just now! How sleepy do you have to be to confuse those two?!"
"...Tee-hee!"
"Don't act all cutesy! You're an adult, for cripes' sake!"
"A-acting cutesy...?" She briefly looked as though she was crying. "Hmph... Injin, you watch yourself when you're alone. Anyway, about Yerin--"
"You just threatened me! In a voice full of contempt!"
"Stop being too damn loud...! Anyway! I've known Yerin since her middle school years."
"H-how do you know her?"
"She got in a huge fight in the first week of class, then she was sent to the infirmary. That was when I met her."
The nurse sat relaxed, and began recollecting the tale. "I suppose no one was crazy enough to try and hurt the Eunsung CEO's only granddaughter, so she was punching, kicking, and screaming all by herself. She got scratched and bruised everywhere in the process, and she lost her voice; she caused a pretty big trouble for the school. I had a little connection with Eunsung, so I did something like a one-on-one counseling session with her. I'm sure she forgot about it now, though."
"Hm..."
She got in a fight at the start of her middle school year? This sounds familiar...
"...She fought because--" The nurse looked like she would rather be somewhere else. "'She was bullying a classmate just because he's an Otaku!' was the reason."
--'She confronted the bullies and defended us, asking what's wrong with being an Otaku.'
...Damn it, I should have known.
I frowned, remembering the unpleasant past of Sukyong-sunbae and Yerin.
The nurse merely shrugged and continued, "It was around that time when she started to... change. I never had the chance to meet her afterward, but I've always heard of her amazing exploits through rumors. I knew the rumors were real, because..." She murmured quietly, as if she had no audience. "Because she had that look on her face."
"..."
I did not reply. The nurse sat, her eyes distant and unfocused, and then added to her quiet mutter, "Well... I didn't think she'd ruin herself this much, though."
"You never expected her to go this far, did you?!" And you just said she 'ruined herself'! We're all Otakus here, don't be so harsh!
"That girl... She needs to be stopped. Even if it means busting her legs into pieces."
"Why so brutal?!"
"She'll go to waste otherwise." The nurse shrugged. "Yerin is... honestly said, she has great potential. She is capable of directing her own life, and she is kind-hearted enough to endure being a villain for over three years just to help her friends. I think it's a miracle that someone like her is a part of Eunsung's family."
A sudden sense of sadness entered my mind for the fact that being an Otaku was the origin of Yerin's problems.
"We can't let the brilliant granddaughter of Eunsung family cut herself off from society forever. We don't have to stop her from being an Otaku altogether; we just have to put her at a level where she is on friendly terms with everyone again. As a licensed teacher, that's all I can wish for. It's possible that Yerin herself wanted someone to stop her."
"Do you think so?"
Sukyong-sunbae had said the same, but I could not share the thought that the overwhelmingly prideful, haughty blonde princess would want her lifestyle to end.
In contrast to my lackluster response, the nurse appeared to have great confidence that she was right. "So... You should win the match with Yeonji's help, then try to convince Yerin to change her life somehow. Good luck!"
"Don't talk like you're not involved!"
She did say she didn't care who won the match. Just now, however, she sounded like she was siding with us...
"Because Yeonji--..." The nurse began, bearing a grim expression that read 'I don't want to be here', but her reply was cut short by the entrance of Yeonji and the three members of 'MoeRe'.
"I apologize that we are late. I was merely exchanging... unpleasantries with Miss Umji. She was being quite the persistent little peasant."
"It's Seo Yeonji!"
Yeonji and Yerin fought the moment they had entered the room. They appeared almost supernaturally calm otherwise, although their clubs were in the danger of being erased from existence.
They continued their violent, verbal combat; I must have missed the news when they announced that they were holding a martial arts tournament instead. The nurse finally broke her composure, her usually smooth face wrinkled from frowning, and gestured the two angrily. "Stop! ...You're acting like little kids. Stop fighting and sit down."
"You are right. It should be my responsibility, as an adult, to be mature and argue no longer with Miss Umji-- a kid, both in body and mind."
"It's Seo Yeonji! Wait, who's a kid?! You empty-headed blondie!"
"Wh-what did you say? I will not let your insult pass! Miss Sukyong, punish that little kid!"
"Hmph, if you're so confident, why don't you fight me yourself?"
"As you wish! Mister Yujin, bring me my blade!"
"...Please sit down, both of you."
The nurse and I sighed deeply in unison.
* * *
Soon,
After resolving the conflict, it took a... very long time for the members of the match to gather around.
On one couch sat the nurse and I, already looking exhausted before the match had begun, and Yeonji, whose energy seemed to be tapped from mysterious sources.
On the opposing couch was the butler, the maid, and the golden-haired girl. The three people, sitting together, painted a picture far more surreal than a masterpiece by Salvador Dali.
The combined picture was, exaggerating a little, a little short of complete disarray.
"Let us remind ourselves the rules of the match." said Yerin, radiating with energy comparable to Yeonji, and held up a print. "The match is the Otaku Word Chain, using the 'unique subject pool' rule. The match will be three-on-three, and team members are forbidden from communicating with each other during the match. It will be a Team Deathmatch, where we play until all members of a team are eliminated. Is that correct?"
"That's right." Yeonji nodded.
"The losers must dismiss their club, and take leave from the infirmary for the winner to freely use... Is that also correct?"
"That's right."
"Good. Then, we'll begin the match!"
"--Before that." As Yerin put the printed rule sheet away and prepared herself for the match, Yeonji halted her. "I want to make a small change to the rules, if you don't mind."
"...Changing the rules, at this stage?"
"It won't be a disadvantage to you."
"Hmph, then I will listen."
Yeonji cleared her throat loudly, and then stated her proposition. "I want to increase the time per turn to a minute."
"An entire minute?"
Normally, you need to give a valid word within fifteen seconds since the start of your turn. Yeonji had just asked if she could multiply that by four. Really, even when considering that the Otaku Word Chain game is far more difficult than a normal word chain game, one minute sounded like an incredibly long time. Why did Yeonji ask for a rule change without telling me about her plans beforehand?
Yerin looked briefly confused. Then, after presumably deciding that the change of rules would not impact her team's performance, she agreed, followed by a mocking grin, "Ha! Is that your attempt at remedying your miniscule knowledge? Very well, I will be merciful. Miss Sukyong!"
When Yerin raised her hands and called her, the maid beside her-... Sukyong-sunbae pulled out an object from her front pocket. It resembled a small clock, with a digital display showing '00.00'.
"...This is a digital timer. It is the same one that people use for speed chess." said Sukyong-sunbae, seeming completely oblivious to the fact that we had met on the day before. "After setting the starting duration, it counts down like a timer and will ring when the countdown reaches zero. If you press the button here, it will reset to the original time. Please press this as soon as you say a valid word, and pass it to the next player."
Sukyong-sunbae opened the back of the timer and put her fingers into the device, manipulating it. The timer's digital panel then read '60.00'.
The intensity of the situation quickly rose; I realized that my hands were moist from sweating. I straightened my posture and sat properly in preparation for the match-- though, in hindsight, that was completely unnecessary.
Yerin passed the timer to Yeonji, who was the first player in our rotation. She did a cursory glance around the room and shortly announced,
"Right, then! We will begin the match!"
* * *
The dreaded Otaku Word Chain game that I had feared for the past few days was... quite generic, other than the presence of a digital timer.
Yeonji's answers were usually from huge franchises, which eliminated a countless number of possible answers every turn. Some others did the opposite, choosing to use obscure titles that eliminated very little. Both teams were comfortably leading the game, at least at this stage. Remarkably, Sukyong-sunbae always managed to conjure up a valid answer without a second of thought; I realized that Sukyong-sunbae had not exaggerated about her skills yesterday.
"...'Saya's Music.' Next turn, please."
"...'Mayo Chicken.' Next turn, please."
"...'Mahou Shounen Matsuri*Magica.' Next turn, please."
I was relieved that the nurse's turn came after Sukyong-sunbae, not mine. Her overwhelming speed would have left me pressured and speechless every time.
Our order of turns was like this: Yeonji -> Yerin -> Me -> Sukyong-sunbae -> Nurse -> The butler -> Yeonji ... and this rotation was going to continue until the end of the game.
Yeonji knew that the order of turns would be a big factor in changing the outcome of this game, but without knowing the skill levels of the enemy, there was never a chance for us to strategically plan our turns. Instead, we randomized the order; fortunately, Yeonji was perfectly content having to bombard Yerin with answers that left little room for follow-ups.
After almost thirty seconds of silence, Yerin safely passed her turn with an answer: "...'My Distant Relative's Neighbor Totoro'. Next person!" As I thought, the match was becoming exceedingly difficult as time went on, now that the list of available words had become extremely short.
"Um... Uh, Ro-... 'Robot Takkyeon V'? Next turn!" I answered.
"...'Venusaur'. Next turn, please."
...But this maid-sunbae appeared totally unaffected by the smaller pool of answers. Wait, no one used anything from Po[][]mon before? How many words did she just eliminate with that answer?!
Every answer from Sukyong-sunbae was unpredictable, her subjects having no trend in generation or genre. If not for the nurse, who seemed to know every obscure visual novel title out there, we would have lost long before.
On top of that, no matter how much progress we've made into the match, she maintained her unnatural speed. If there ever was a ruling queen of the Otakus, she'd definitely be one. I began to question if Sukyong-sunbae was serious about wanting us to win; perhaps she was planning to confuse us before the match, after all.
No one had made a mistake yet, but our loss was easily predictable with the pace Sukyong-sunbae played. Even if the other two people were to fail and drop out of the game, it was meaningless if we couldn't beat Sukyong-sunbae.
There was... only one way to win, then-- The unbeatable move of the Otaku Word chain, the final boss of an obscure game called 'Ssuro-Gigan: The Last Vampire', the ridiculously long-winded 'Ssuro-Giganteni-Paraskulssu-[][][]()()()()'!
...I still wonder what kind of idiot came up with that name, but it was nonetheless a name that was stuck in my head since my first loss against Yeonji. I had to look it up in Maver[1] afterward, too, just to make sure it wasn't a fluke.
As my research had found, it was a game-breaking answer that guaranteed victory when used, which somehow remained legal in the official game rules. It basically was the Excalibur of the Otaku Word Chain.
Using that answer was not going to be easy; it would only work if someone were to slip up and use an answer that ended with '-ssu'. But there was not a single opportunity yet; clearly, everyone in the game was knowingly avoiding it.
Patience. Someone was bound to slip up eventually. Late into the game... much later in the game, there's always someone who makes a silly, game-ending mistake! Until then... oh, until then--
"...'Futari wa Pedicure'. Next turn!' answered the other maid--... I mean, the butler, after a long silence since starting his turn. It became quickly apparent that he was the weakest player in this match, but he had held his ground thus far. His strange expression, which combined his permanent smile and his state of deep perplexion, somehow seemed to gnaw at my nerves.
The next person in turn was... Seo Yeonji. She observed the timer that had begun counting down from sixty seconds, and she spoke--
"I got some things to say to you, Eun Yerin."
--directly to Eun Yerin.
"...?!"
A look of surprise surfaced visibly on everyone's faces; confusion crossed Yerin's face, as if she had just seen a polar bear in the South Pole. "...What are you doing? The only words that should come out of your mouth should be a name that starts with a 'Ure-' sound. Do you mean to forfeit this game?"
"You know, you've been making weird noises like 'Ugh!' or 'Argh!' before giving a valid answer." Yeonji replied immediately without batting an eye. "Only the members of the same team can't talk to each other, remember? Whatever else I do meanwhile, I just have to give a valid word that starts with 'Ure-', right?"
She continued, "Listen, Korea's view on the Otaku culture is pretty terrible right now. It's all thanks to the media trying to exaggerate and make news, or some Otakus doing stupid things; like the time when a guy brought a real weapon to 'Seoul Comic Mart' convention as a part of his cosplay, or people who publically wear Kimonos on our national holidays. Don't you agree? 'Eureka Ten'!"
Making the end of her minute-long speech, done in a single breath, she gave an answer and passed the timer to Yerin with a couple seconds to spare. That was too close.
"What-..." Yerin became speechless, but soon recovered when the timer in her grasp came to her attention. "You... Are you saying I am acting like them? 'Tenshi Muyo'! Next turn!"
Movement lingered in Yerin's lips as if she had unspoken words remaining. She did not speak further; rather than wasting any energy dealing with Yeonji's sudden outburst, she seemed to be quietly determining if this was another one of Yeonji's deceptions. It was probably a wise move; I had no idea what she was trying to do, either.
Under the collective, trained gaze from the others in the room, Yeonji let loose a furious torrent of words as soon as the timer made its way back to her. "Aren't you, though? You 'recommended' a bunch of porn games to your classmates, and you forced them to do all sorts terrible of things! That's just going too far beyond the line. Do you even know why we keep our hobbies to ourselves? 'Mental Magica'."
"They weren't porn games! They were visual novels! They were for all ages!" Yerin replied, making a defense that was far too often told by Otakus. She became flustered at Yeonji's blunt choice of words, but she remained reasonably calm. "Keeping everything to yourselves? Hah, don't make me laugh! Peasants like you are merely cowards who cannot be prideful of your hobbies! Why do you feel ashamed about being an Otaku? Your meek attitudes are ruining the image of Otakus, not us! 'Ika Musuko'!"
The timer rotated back once more.
"We're the ones doing it? That's the biggest joke yet. How are Clotakus supposed to worsen anything, when we're completely unnoticed to others? You people are the only ones affecting anything, and that's a fact. You asked why can't we be proud of ourselves? Have you seen what's going on in Korea right now? The moment you carry the 'Otaku' label, you're going to suffer for it forever. You could be bullied by anyone who knows of it. And you're telling me to be more open about being an Otaku? 'Densha Onna'!"
"Suffer for having a label? And get bullied for it? Would there be a reason to get bullied if you are sociable, and have other positive qualities to offset it? To me, you are making an excuse to cover your ineptitude in maintaining a social life. Look at me, I have been open about being an Otaku for the past three years; have I ever been bullied even once? 'Natsume's Book of Enemies'!."
Another rotation.
"Ha-ha, you're getting everything wrong! You were never bullied, all because you're from the damn Eunsung family. You got your money, your power, and your looks from them. Who in their right mind would try to harm you? And what about all the other Otakus who have none of the things that you have? Are you sure they, in their position, can do the same things that you're doing? Don't flatter yourself. 'Kamisama no Notechou'."
"Hmph."
Yerin's blue eyes glittered. She was beginning to understand what Yeonji was trying to do.
Is this supposed to be... BBC's 60 Seconds? Whenever it was their turn, they got to argue however they wanted in the sixty seconds that they were given, as long as they gave a valid answer at the end. They effectively created a match of their own within the Word Chain game, held between only Yeonji and Yerin.
Yeonji had some thoughtful, well-structured arguments for herself, as if she had prepared it beforehand-- she probably did, actually-- but the bigger surprise was that Yerin hadn't faltered yet under Yeonji's relentless verbal assaults.
"You must understand... I have never once believed that having wealth or power has any matter in being an Otaku. Even if I were a humble peasant, I would choose to continue this lifestyle. I never doubted that this was the right path." stated Yerin, clasping her hands on her chest for emphasis. "A lowly peasant like you would not understand why I have gotten on this path. You have no idea what Miss Sukyong, Mister Yujin, and I have went through in these past years. I would like you to stay quiet when you have no clue what you are talking about. 'Chobits'."
"...Nyu." squeaked Yeonji, breaking her confident, upright posture, distraught by Yerin's powerful discourse.
Since Yeonji was the type to enjoy arguing over the Internet all day, she likely started the argument with great confidence that she would win. But Yerin's rebuttals struck at Yeonji's arguments in unconventional ways-- rather than pure logic, her arguments stemmed from her firm resolution in the past, from the time when she saved Sukyong-sunbae and her brother from being bullied. It was also how the MoeRe came to be, as Sukyong-sunbae had mentioned.
Eun Yerin had chosen to openly embrace the stigma to help her friends.
Her path as a 'Pubtaku' began with full justification of her cause-- and three years had gone by without a chance for anyone to point out her wrongdoings.
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