Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari (LN) - Volume 16 - Chapter Pr

Prologue: The Funeral 

“To all those brave souls who gave their lives in the great battle . . . we salute you.” 
In front of the castle in the land where the Phoenix had been sealed, a grand state funeral was being held. The deceased from the fighting were being interred with great pomp and circumstance. A number of those from my village had also been killed. I’d started out believing I was simply raising them as pawns for use in battle . . . but now I so wanted them all to have made it through alive. 
I was even reconsidering sending more of them into battle against the waves at all. If the alternative was going through this, however many more times, I wouldn’t be able to send anyone into battle ever again. 
I stood quietly in front of Atla’s coffin. It was empty, of course. Raphtalia joined me, gently laying some flowers inside it. Fohl also did the same, wordlessly. For some reason, Trash was also placing some flowers. His expression was grim, and he said nothing to either me or Fohl. 
I understood though. 
When I had fallen back from the front line with Atla in my arms, I’d seen Trash standing in front of the treatment tent. He hadn’t been able to do anything then, so what was he doing here now?! 
Lashing out at Trash wouldn’t achieve anything, just more pointless rage. It wasn’t like I’d been able to do anything for Atla either. 
It had also been confirmed that Trash wasn’t the one responsible for her death. Numerous testimonials placed him with the queen in the moment that terrible flicker punched through the Phoenix. Not to mention that Trash had no reason to kill her in the first place, and in that position he would have been caught up in the ensuing explosion without Atla’s protection. 
“I’m going to keep on fighting. Fighting the waves.” Fohl looked at me and made this declaration. “If I run away now, it could lead to more deaths among the village slaves.” Pretty much what I’d expected from Fohl. 
“Good. Good for you,” I replied. If I was in his position, I’d likely have made the same decision—to continue fighting the waves, for everyone, and for Atla. 
“You guys . . .” Keel also placed some flowers inside Atla’s coffin while crying her eyes out. “I’m going to fight too!” 
“I’m not sure—” I started. 
“You’ve told us all along!” With Raph-chan up on her shoulders, Keel’s eyes burned with decisiveness as she quickly cut me off. “That we might die in this fighting, that this isn’t playtime for kids, and we’ve chosen to fight all the same! Even if you tell us it’s too dangerous now, none of us are going to listen!” 
“Raph!” Raph-chan added for emphasis. 
“It sounds like they’ve made up their minds,” Fohl continued. “Everyone from the village has decided to follow you . . . brother, and fight. You can’t stop them now. Accept that responsibility.”
 
“Very well,” I managed to reply. Yet I still didn’t want anyone else to have to die. Each time I recalled Atla, my heart screamed out in pain. What could I do for them all to make this easier? I’d never had such a thought before, never once. 

Raphtalia was still wordlessly standing in front of Atla’s coffin. 
Atla had said that Raphtalia was in love with me. I had to admit, at times, I’d wondered if that was the case. But I’d simply chosen not to think about it, simply forcing myself to consider her a girl who put duty above everything else. That had been part of it, surely . . . to avoid feeling that fear that came from my distrust of women. 
Atla had also talked before about how any one of us could be dead tomorrow. 
In that case, for the sake of avoiding future regrets, shouldn’t I at least respond to one who says that they care for me? What had I done for Atla, after all? Saved her from her sickness, perhaps, but anything else other than that? Surely I could have made her far happier than I did . . . 
Regrets filled my mind and wouldn’t leave me alone. 
After the funeral, I talked with the queen. 
“While suffering such great losses, Hero Iwatani, you have my deepest gratitude for bringing down the Phoenix,” she solemnly proclaimed. 
“Enough preamble. Have you found the one who interfered yet?” My focus was clear. 
“Regrettably not. We still have no real leads on the culprit,” the queen admitted. 
“What about the seven star heroes?” I pressed her. 

“They seem the most suspicious to me.” 

“I really am very sorry,” the queen replied. Trying to shake off the sadness was only feeding my fury at whoever had done this. That felt like the only way I could stop the sorrow from driving me insane. 
“You’re no help at all!” I raged. I was getting really angry now! I knew the queen wasn’t at fault, but I just couldn’t maintain a happy mood. 
“That is clearly an important issue, but I was wondering what your thoughts are on the issue concerning the next of the four benevolent animals?” the queen asked. 
“Sorry, my thoughts on what?” I replied distractedly. The queen dropped a concerned “oh my” at my question. 
“You haven’t heard about it from the other heroes?” she inquired. I proceeded to check the remaining time on the blue-sand hourglass in the corner of my vision. 
It looked like it had changed to a red one. 
“Wasn’t the Kirin meant to be next?” I checked with her. 
“We have been informed that, just a few hours after you and your allies defeated the Phoenix, the Kirin appeared in the vicinity of Faubrey. It was then immediately eradicated by a number of the seven star heroes who were on the scene,” the queen reported. 
“What?” That was a lot to take in. I was almost impressed they had been able to handle such a sudden turn of events. At the same time, I also faced down some fresh suspicions. There had been a long preparatory period— three whole months—between the Spirit Tortoise and the Phoenix. But now, it was just a few hours between the Phoenix and the Kirin? And wasn’t the Dragon meant to unseal after the Kirin? 
 
If the red-sand hourglass was moving, that meant either the Dragon was still sealed or it had already been defeated. 
“I’d better call over Ren and the other heroes,” I decided. I shouted for Ren to come over to me. Hearing that I was calling for him, a short while later Ren arrived. 
“What’s up?” he asked. 
“What do you know about the Kirin?” I inquired. 
“Same as the Phoenix—a pair of monsters,” he replied. Kirin . . . an auspicious beast formed from a pair of monsters called “Ki” and “Rin.” The Kirin I knew about was said to be a beast that showed itself before benevolent rulers—perhaps that was why it was sealed in the vicinity of Faubrey. However, it sounded as though it had already been defeated . . . 
“Strategies for fighting it?” I asked. 
“I do have some information, but from past examples we’ve seen, I’m not sure it would be much use . . . not to mention it sounds like the Kirin has already been defeated.” Two good points from Ren. 
“Hmmm . . .” I pondered. 
“I like to think I have some knowledge of legends, but I don’t think I’ve heard of any kind of story from Faubrey like that. It sounds like the heroes who were there just happened to resolve the issue,” the queen suggested. 
“You’ve got no more information on this?” I said, a little surprised. I got the impression that the queen’s hobby was basically investigating legends. So how couldn’t she know anything about this? 
 
There was also the chance that Faubrey was intentionally hiding the information. That was more than possible, considering that it was a nation built on the blood of heroes such as ourselves. Not even that. Maybe people like Makina, thinking only of themselves, had hidden away the lore to suit themselves. 
“Faubrey has been through its own period of lengthy turmoil. There’s certainly the possibility that the information was lost during that time. They are definitely looking into the four benevolent animals over there, so the large National Library may provide some information,” the queen suggested. The National Library? I vaguely seemed to recall Melty saying she had learned about the beasts from books. Maybe she had been talking about the books there? 
There were apparently quite a number of seven star heroes in Faubrey, although many of them were also said to be quite hard to contact. A mysterious monster had impersonated a Siltveltian seven star hero, which should have put the world on alert. If there were seven star heroes in action out there though, there was a good chance they were the ones who caused this. 
I looked at Ren and the others. 
“What about the seal on the Dragon?” I asked. 
“Reports say that only the Kirin was defeated. There’s no talk of the Dragon having appeared yet,” the queen replied. What was going on? I couldn’t see a pattern here. 
 
In either case, all we had to do was punish the one who cut in on the action during our fight with the Phoenix. 
“Do we have a portal to Faubrey?” I asked, pretty sure of the answer, but I had to make sure. 
“Sorry. No reason for me to have one,” Ren said. 
“Me neither,” Itsuki confirmed. 
“Or me, I say!” Motoyasu said. So no dice from the three other heroes, and no point in asking Raphtalia either. Even with S’yne’s vassal weapon, I wasn’t going to push her too hard. 
“In any case, we have to bring judgment to whoever shot down the Phoenix. And bring these seven star heroes in line, as they don’t seem inclined to ever show up!” I declared. 
“All shall be as you say . . . eventually, Hero Iwatani, but first I think you should get some rest in our Melromarc base,” the queen suggested. 
“Her royal highness is right, Naofumi! One of us, the other heroes, will go and get a portal,” Motoyasu chimed in. 
“I can’t just sit around on my hands while the one who did this is out there!” I retorted. Someone had got in the way during the Phoenix battle. I was going to kill that someone. 
Ren gripped my shoulder, and Raphtalia spoke with a sad look in her eyes. 
“Mr. Naofumi, please calm down.” 

“Naofumi, I’m asking you too. Go get some rest in the village,” Ren said. 
 
“Come on!” I pleaded. 
“Please. If you don’t, Naofumi . . . it’s too hard on everyone else, seeing you slipping away from us,” Ren begged. At that comment, I looked around. It felt like everyone was looking at me with such concern in their eyes. My feelings for Atla . . . stayed my hand. 
“Okay,” I managed. “You win.” 
We returned to the village. 
“Right, Naofumi. You get some rest. Leave everything to us, for now. We’ll call for you if we make any progress on the Phoenix cleanup or if any enemies show themselves in the vicinity,” Ren assured me. 
“No need to keep repeating it,” I bit back. 
“About who we should send to Faubrey, I’m told representatives from each nation are going to be meeting in Melromarc. We should probably go and meet their representative,” Ren continued, smoothly ignoring me and moving on to the selection of who to send to Faubrey. 
“Should I go?” Itsuki offered. 
“No. You’re still under the effects of the curse. You can’t leave Rishia behind, and the long road to Faubrey will require stamina to complete,” Ren reasoned. 
“I’ll go, I say!” Motoyasu quickly piped up. “With the speed of my filolials!” 

Told by everyone to rest, I was heading back toward my house when Ruft, Raphtalia’s cousin, came over to me. 

“Hey, Shield Hero . . .” Falteringly, he tested the waters. “Ah . . . I was wondering . . .” He must have wanted to know what had happened and how things had turned out. 
“Sorry, kid . . . Shildina can probably fill you in on the details,” I said, putting him off. 
“Okay . . . sorry for asking,” Ruft said. 
“No need to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ruft,” I told him. 
“I know . . . but I saw you looking sad, and I wanted to cheer you up. I guess I can’t . . . do anything for you . . .” Ruft sounded dejected. 
“Don’t worry about that. Doing things for me only leads to pain, in my experience,” I replied bitterly. Hearing him saying such things was hard for me to bear. Had I really been pushing everyone into such danger for so long? 
“Mr. Naofumi . . .” Raphtalia said, clearly concerned. 
“Raph . . .” The same from Raph-chan. 
“I’m fine. My house is right there. Raphtalia, can you let everyone in the village know what happened?” I asked her. 
“I’m not sure . . .” she started. 
“Tell everyone not to take any risks, but to just stay safe,” I told her. 
“O-okay,” she replied. 
I returned to my house and collapsed onto the bed. This felt like such a waste of time, only serving to piss me off more. Alongside that, I felt another emotion taking hold of me, and alone, I sank into depression. 

Coexisting together there was the me who burned for revenge against whoever did this and the me weeping for my loss. 

After I lay spaced-out on the bed for a while, there came a tapping at my door. 
Filo had arrived, along with Melty. 
Someone had taken the queen back to the castle and then brought Melty back with them. 
“I’m back, Master!” Filo chirped. 
“What’re you doing here?” It was rare for them to show up like this. 
“Welcome back, Naofumi . . . I’ve heard what happened from Raphtalia and Filo,” Melty said. 
“And? You’ve come to laugh at my failure?” They weren’t that twisted, of course, but in my own twisted mood, those were the only words I could find. I knew that it was a poor reply. 
“Of course not! Can’t you tell the difference between things that are okay to say and things—” Melty started. 
“You’re right,” I interrupted her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” 
“Naofumi, tell me you’re okay, would you?” Melty asked. 
“Mel-chan. Master looks so tired,” Filo commented. 
“Oh, I’m ready to go. Everyone just keeps telling me to rest, that’s all,” I grumbled. Filo didn’t seem to understand either. 
The only way I was going to keep my sanity was to quickly find the identity of whoever caused this mess and put them in the ground! That was the emotion that filled me. 
 
“Let us come in and sit with you for a while, until Raphtalia gets here,” Melty suggested. 
“What’s going on?” I asked. 
“We’re worried you might do something rash,” Melty explained. 
“If whoever decided to get involved in the Phoenix battle was right here in front of me, I might show you something rash. Otherwise, I’m fine,” I told them. 
“So you admit it. You’ve got rash plans! Seriously!” Melty chided. “But still, you seem to have more energy than I was expecting.” I decided to take the moment to ask Melty a question. 
“Tell me, Melty, have you ever lost someone important to you, a subordinate or someone you were close with, to something big, like a war?” At my question, Melty shook her head, a serious look on her face. 
“No, I haven’t. But I’m still going to bring my resolve as a member of the royal family, and as a representative of my country, into everything I do. If Filo died in battle, well, I wouldn’t know if I could accept it until it happened,” Melty said bravely. 
“Hey . . . I’m not going to die,” Filo said. 
“I know. I won’t allow that to happen. I’ll do whatever I can to save you, even putting my life on the line,” Melty declared. Putting her life on the line? 
“If you lose your life like that . . . it will only be the one left behind— Filo—who will suffer,” I explained. 
“I know.” Melty nodded at my words. “That’s why I aim every day for the best possible method to keep us both alive. Naofumi, I’m not going to hit you with conventional attempts to cheer you up. They’ll have the opposite effect on you. Keep your head up and carry on. That’s all you can do.” 
 
“Yeah. I know. I have to keep my final promise to Atla,” I replied with a catch in my voice. Then I looked straight into Melty’s eyes. “Melty, tell me . . . do you love me?” 
“What?! Hold on! What’s brought this on?!” Melty pushed her eyebrows together, tilting her head. 
“Master?” Filo quizzed. 
“Filo, how about you?” I asked. 
“Me? I love you lots and lots, Master!” Filo exclaimed. 
“I see. And exactly how much is that?” I pressed her. 
“Well . . . so much I’d almost like to pair up with you!” Filo revealed. 
“Filo! You can’t say that! That’ll make Naofumi mad!” Melty stepped in. 
“Okay then. Filo, come over here,” I told her. I was never going to get to sleep alone, what with all the regrets and murderous intent packed in the bed with me. Having Filo sleep alongside me would take my mind off things. 
“Huh?!” Melty was suitably blindsided. 
“Here I come! Yahoo!” Filo seized on the opportunity, happily leaping forward to get into the bed. 
 
 
“Hold on, Filo! Hold it!” Melty pulled her back. 
“Huh?” Now Filo was puzzled. 
“What’s wrong, Melty? Ah, you don’t want Filo to sleep alongside me alone? Then how about you join us too?” I asked. 
“W-w-why do I have to spend the night in your bed?! No way, buster!” Melty exclaimed. 
“I see. If you don’t want to, fair enough,” I said. I wasn’t going to force her to do anything. 
“Eh? Ah, hold on,” Melty stuttered. 
“Sorry for asking,” I replied. 
“Ah, that’s fine . . . Hey, and that’s not what I meant!” Melty exclaimed. She was acting really weird. What the hell had gotten into her? 
“What? You don’t want to snuggle, Mel-chan?” Filo asked. 
“You stay quiet and get over here, Filo!” Melty ordered. “There’s something wrong with Naofumi! We can’t wait any longer. Let’s go fetch Raphtalia!” 
“Do we have to?” Filo protested as Melty basically dragged her from the room. 
Something wrong with me, she’d said. 
Like Atla had told me . . . I was just trying to make sure I had no regrets. 

Not long after that . . . “H-hello, may I come in?” I opened the door to see Imiya bringing me some food. “I have a meal for you,” she said. “I thought . . . maybe you were getting hungry.” 

“I see.” I took the tray from her and placed it on the desk in my room. 
“I-I’ll be going,” she said and moved to leave. 
“Imiya,” I said, stopping her. 
“Y-yes! Whatever can I do for you?” she replied, a little startled. 
“Do you have someone who you love, Imiya?” I asked. 
“Ah . . . well . . .” she stuttered, her cheeks blushing red as she looked at the ground and wrung her hands. That reaction— 
It couldn’t be! Imiya was in love with me? 
I mean, she’d ended up with me in almost exactly the same manner as Raphtalia, so maybe it was only natural. 
“I mean . . . that is to say . . . I . . .” she stammered. 
“Don’t worry. I understand, Imiya.” It was all clear to me now. 
“You understand what, exactly?” she pondered. 
“I’m going to respond to your desires,” I proclaimed. A few seconds passed. 
“Whaaaat?!” she suddenly responded, practically fainting to the floor. 
“Hey. What’s so surprising?” I asked. 

“I-I’m not ready for this . . . and I’m so dirty right now too.” What was she talking about? I took a moment to examine her thoroughly with my eyes. She didn’t have that unhygienic look about her that, say, Raphtalia had been blessed with when I first purchased her. With just a glance I could see that she was washed and clean. Sure, Raphtalia hadn’t been able to wash herself for days, so it might not be a fair comparison, but Imiya was still definitely very clean. 

“That doesn’t bother me,” I told her. 
“Ah . . . well . . . okay.” Imiya was trembling. She also didn’t turn me down. She immediately moved over and lay down, a little hesitantly, on the bed. 
Cutting right to the chase just like with Filo, I thought we might be skipping a few steps. This usually started with some light conversation, maybe a date or two. 
In that case . . . I’d stroke her a little, then caution her. Warn her that we were skipping a few too many steps. I sat down on the bed and Imiya let out a strained sound, her body still trembling. 
She was far too tense. I gently stroked her cheek. 
Huh? Imiya’s body temperature seemed pretty high. 
As soon as I touched her, Imiya jerked back up into a sitting position. 
“Ah?! I . . . Look . . . I can’t do this! I’m sorry!” With that, she leapt off the bed and ran from the room. The same kind of reaction as Melty. 
Having left the room, Imiya bumped into Keel. They talked for a moment and then Imiya continued her escape. 
“Bubba Shield! Imiya said that you’re acting strangely! What’s up?” Keel asked, coming right in. 
“I asked if she was interested in anyone, and her reaction seemed to suggest it was me. So I attempted to respond to her feelings,” I explained. 
“Bubba Shield is acting strangely! Woof-woof!” Keel immediately started to shout and make a fuss. 
 
“Stop that! Stop making that noise! There’s nothing strange about me at all!” I retorted. It sounded like she needed a good talking to. As Keel tried to escape, I pinned her arms behind her back. 
“Bubba! What are you doing? You’re not interested in women! Right?” she shouted. 
“I’ve had a change of heart. Keel, how do you feel about me?” I asked her. 
“I like you, Bubba, but I don’t think I like this version of you! Hey, what are you planning on doing with me?” For some reason, Keel turned herself into her puppy form and started yapping. I tried to explain it to her. 
“Look. It was Imiya who suddenly said she wanted to get with me and climbed onto the bed, okay? I just stroked her a little and she ran out like the room was on fire.” 
“So you’re not going to attack me?” Keel asked. 
“Of course not.” What did she think I was? Sexual desire personified? 
“Bubba. You sure know how to give someone the wrong impression. Shocking Imiya like that too,” Keel despaired. 
“Huh? What are you talking about? I was just going to warn her that we were skipping a few too many steps, that’s all!” I protested. 
“Bubba, you need to calm down. She clearly thought you ordered her into your room and told her to lie down on the bed,” Keel explained. 

“I see . . . Sounds like maybe I’ve messed with her head. I’ll apologize to her later,” I said. 
 
“Nah, I don’t think you need to worry about it,” Keel said. 
I wondered if I really didn’t. 
“What’s happening, brother? I just passed the Melromarc princess, and she said you’ve been acting strangely?” Fohl asked, having shown up from somewhere. 
“Hey, Fohl. Where’s Raphtalia?” I asked. 
“She’s not here right now. She’s also acting . . . a little strangely. Or maybe we’re the ones with the problem . . .” he pondered. Whatever the issue was, he seemed aware of it. 
“Fohl, Bubba is definitely acting weird,” Keel chimed in. 
“A lot had happened. We need to just give him some time to calm down,” Fohl replied. 
“But—” Keel pressed the issue. I watched the two of them talking. Fohl was Atla’s brother. 
“Fohl,” I said. 
“What?” he responded, still distracted by Keel. 
“How do you feel about me?” I asked. 
“Huh? What’s brought this on?” he replied, furrowing his brow. 
“I’d like to know,” I said. 
“You’re the man Atla loved. Even remembering everything that’s happened between us, I can’t bring myself to hate you. I’m going to support you, as a replacement for Atla,” he explained. 
So he’d try to be like a replacement for Atla. 
I gingerly moved around to stand behind Fohl, then touched his body. 
 
He smelled a bit like Atla . . . maybe just a bit. 
“Woah there!” Fohl gave a yelp and immediately put some distance between us. “W-where did that come from?!” 
“Where did what?” I asked innocently. I could see traces of Atla in Fohl’s visage. This felt like my chance to achieve that which I had never achieved with her. 
“Seriously! You just wait there a moment!” Fohl shouted. 
“Wah, Fohl, what are you doing—” Keel protested as Fohl hauled her up onto his back and then scuttled out of the room, his face visibly pale. 
A short while later, Sadeena came into my room, a bottle of wine in one hand. 
“Little Naofumi?” she called. 
“What now?” I asked. 
“I’ve heard all about your antics from little Fohl. Have a drink with me and cheer yourself up a bit,” she said. 
“Sorry. Wine won’t work on me. You know that,” I replied. 
“Now that you mention it, maybe I had heard that,” she replied glibly with a gentle smile. She was just trying to cheer me up, in her own way. Using drink to cheer someone up seemed like a common tactic, no matter the world. 
It was true. If I could get drunk, I’d probably really have felt like drinking right then. 

“How about we find another way to have some fun together?” she suggested. 

“Yeah, why not? Filo would surely just sleep, and Imiya got the wrong end of the stick . . . but you, Sadeena, have always been open about your advances. I guess we can skip a few steps,” I replied. Atla had told me that she wanted me to respond to the feelings of those who liked me. Sadeena had been direct about those feelings for almost as long as I knew her, so I thought I should finally respond to her. 
“Little Naofumi?” she asked, playing coy now! 
“Sadeena, do you love me?” I asked. 
“Oh my. That’s quite a direct question. But yes, I do love you, little Naofumi. Ah! I’ve gone and said it now!” she replied embarrassedly, wriggling and writhing about. 
“I see. Strip off and lie down on the bed then,” I commanded. 
“Little Naofumi?” she asked, tilting her head. But she did sit down on the bed. I took off my pants, removed Sadeena’s loincloth-like wrap thing, and prepared to— 
“Hold it right there, little Naofumi! Stop!” She lightly pushed me away. “Little Naofumi. Can you tell me, just what were you about to do?” 
“Exactly what you wanted, I thought,” I replied. 
“Please, little Naofumi. Just sit down right there,” she told me. 
“We can’t do it if I’m sitting on the floor,” I protested. 
“Just sit down!” she ordered. What was going on? It was exceptionally rare for Sadeena to get in such a bad mood. “Just to confirm the situation, you were trying to skip things like atmosphere, and the preamble, and everything like that? You aren’t aware of the normal sequence to these kinds of events?” 
 
“Yes, I’m aware,” I retorted, a little standoffishly. I’d played my fair share of hentai games, after all. Of course I knew the “sequence,” as she called it. Damn, I probably knew all sorts of crazy sex stuff that even Sadeena had never dreamed about. 
Not that I’d boast about something like that. 
“And yet you still tried to bump bodies with me like we’re part of a production line. That would really upset Raphtalia, don’t you think?” Sadeena continued. 
“You might be right. But Atla told me to respond to what people want from me,” I replied. At that, Sadeena placed her fingers on her forehead, looking most distressed. 
“Just you listen to me, little Naofumi. Everyone loves you. But there’s something really messed up about how you’re going about all this,” she continued. 
“All this?” I asked, maybe playing it a bit too dumb. It was rare for Sadeena to bring me to task quite this briskly. Finally cooling off a little, I realized that I’d reached the point at which even Sadeena needed to caution me about my actions. 
“Little Naofumi. As two consenting adults, if you wanted to enjoy the physical act of love with me, or if you needed some solace in your sadness, then as a woman I would happily respond,” Sadeena explained. I certainly didn’t need consoling like that though. That kind of solace would just hurt even more. “But what you’re doing right now, little Naofumi, is nothing more than the mechanical process of trying to make a baby. You even tried it on with poor little Fohl, a man! Do you see what I’m saying?” 
 
“I think that came from Fohl saying he would try and be a replacement for Atla. So I wanted to do something I’d never been able to do with her—” I started to explain. 
“Little Naofumi, get a grip on yourself! And Shildina and you others, stop listening outside the room!” Sadeena shouted. I turned to look out the window and saw Shildina, S’yne, and Ruft outside. The three of them all nervously scratched at their heads, avoiding my gaze with an embarrassed flush in their cheeks. 
“Now is our chance,” Shildina said. “If you won’t seize it, Sadeena, then I’ll be the one to fill the hole in sweet Naofumi’s heart.” 
“I’ll never allow that. Little Raphtalia would kill you, aside from anything else. Ruft is far too young for all this—and he might not even choose that path. The fact he looks so much like Raphtalia puts him in even more danger,” Sadeena lectured. 
“Oh, dang it . . .” Shildina seemed disappointed. 
“What path?” Ruft inquired. 
What was with everyone? Wanting it one minute, shooting me down the next. I asked Sadeena directly about that, and she replied with her own question. 
“Little Naofumi. Right now, all you want to do is make me feel good. Don’t you see a problem with that?” 

“What kind of problem? I mean, Fohl, okay . . .” This wasn’t what Atla had wanted. I think I was starting to understand. 

“Look, little Naofumi,” Sadeena began, taking both of my shoulders in her hands, smiling gently while she advised me. She was a lot like Raphtalia, in that respect. The two weren’t related by blood, but there was a reason Raphtalia treated her like a sister. “It’s the process that matters. I’d love to hop into bed with you and have some fun, little Naofumi, but right now, even if you aren’t personally into it, you’d be willing to go through with it if I wanted to, wouldn’t you?” 
“That’s right,” I agreed. 
“And if we ended up making a baby, you’re the one who’d regret it later,” she continued. 
“I’d take . . . responsibility, if I had to. It would be better than regretting doing nothing . . . like with Atla,” I managed. 
“An honest answer . . . but I don’t think that’s quite what Atla meant when she said that to you. Just calm down and think.” At Sadeena’s words, I did become a little calmer. 
Unable to find the enemy we should be fighting, I’d just rushed ahead in my sadness and lost myself as I tried to avoid any more regrets. If this is what Sadeena wants . . . That had been my thinking. 
Of course, Sadeena was her own woman, or at least . . . her own entity. Just as I hadn’t always liked the advances of others, she surely had to prepare herself for intimacy. And above all else, I couldn’t do anything that she didn’t want to do. 
I wasn’t a rapist. No way. 
 
So I’d tried to get her consent, but because I was acting so strangely, she’d rejected me. In that case . . . what should I be doing? 
“I understand you saying you’ll take responsibility, but if I let you do this now, I just know in the future you will regret it. That’s why I’m turning you down and why I’ll make sure none of the others, Shildina or anyone else, will take you up on your offer either,” Sadeena stated. 
“Oh, come on!” Shildina exclaimed. She didn’t sound happy about that. But Sadeena gave her a rare and piercing glare. Even more rarely, it caused Shildina to back down. 
“I understand,” I finally said. 
“I’ll let Raphtalia and the others know, so you just think about things a little more. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, showing up like this,” Sadeena said. 
I couldn’t find the words to reply. Being cautioned by her scattered my thoughts even more than before. I wasn’t what she wanted right now . . . That much was plain to see. Sadeena had cautioned me, thinking about my own future. I had to keep away from those with an interest in me, in order to avoid future regrets. 
Having regrets in the future . . . would Atla have chided me like this? They were pretty hard words for me to bear, being someone suffering so much regret recently for not having done something, when I could surely have made Atla so much happier than I did. 

I’d thought it was better to do something and regret it than regret not doing it at all. Had I been wrong? 
 
“Little Naofumi, even if I tell you to cheer up, I know you probably can’t. Not right now. But at least recover yourself first.” Sadeena stood up smoothly, giving me a smile. “Once you’ve done that, and if you still feel like living in respect to Atla’s final words, then I’m sure not only me, but also Raphtalia, the others in the village . . . even Fohl, will respond to your feelings.” Sadeena’s angry expression was gone, and she gave me a really gentle smile. 
I’d always considered her to be just a sharp-eyed, sexy vixen of a whale-lady, but today she felt really appealing in another way. 
“It’s because I feel so strongly about you, little Naofumi, that I won’t allow this to happen with me or anyone else,” she reiterated. Then she gently stroked my cheek and left the room. 
I was confused as to just where the hell I was. Taking responsibility . . . determination . . . such thoughts all swirled around in my head. I didn’t know what I wanted to do next. 
After taking vengeance on the subject of my rage, defeating the waves, and bringing peace to this world, I didn’t know what I was going to do. I had no plans to be buried here. My thinking on that point was unchanged. That was probably what Sadeena had been warning me about too. Just enjoying myself with half-hearted determination, not thinking about the future, and then getting someone knocked up . . . Yeah, that would be a problem. 
Not to mention I wasn’t interested in having any children. 
Sadeena had been trying to tell me that she and the others in the village weren’t the type to just be happy carrying the child of a hero—that they didn’t want to use me like some breeding stud. It filled my heart with how deeply she was thinking of me, and that proceeded to make me sad. 
 
I’d been out of my head earlier. Fohl had no such intentions toward me, clearly, and there was no way I could replace Atla. 
“Yeah, you’re right,” I said. 
They all believed in me, but I couldn’t respond to that, yet I needed the determination to carry the burden of their lives. So I wondered what would happen when it came time for me to go home. I couldn’t know for sure . . . but that could mean goodbye. A mixture of feelings swirled within me— wanting to return home and wanting to be with everyone and respond to their feelings for me. 
“I’m back, Mr. Naofumi . . .” Raphtalia came in. 
“Hey, Raphtalia,” I said. 
“Hello. I’ve heard about what happened while I was gone,” she said without judgment. 
“Okay . . . it was a bit of a thing. Sorry,” I managed. 
“No, Mr. Naofumi. For now . . . let’s just not think about it,” Raphtalia suggested. 
“If you say so,” I responded. 
I found no answers to my questions, and the night passed in quiet agony.