The Greatest Demon Lord Is Reborn as a Typical Nobody - Volume 2 - Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31 

The Ex–Demon Lord Keeping the Cheaters at Bay 

Two days of the festival remained.

Over its course, there had been one situation cropping up on campus after another…and the one who left the deepest impact was Sylphy, the transfer student who’d burst into our lives with the energy of a storm, wreaking havoc everywhere she went.

Now that I thought about it, a majority of the festival seemed to involve handling the heaping mountain of complaints.

Olivia repeatedly ordered her to wait on standby, but Sylphy’s sense of justice was so strong that she ignored all instructions and went out on patrol almost every day. She wrought chaos and destruction throughout the school.

Which brought us here. I was diligent in making patrol rounds as well as a round of apologies.

I set off for the shops where that fool had caused trouble and bowed my head to each and every one. It reminded me of the old days. In my past life, I had constantly been bowing my head and taking responsibility for both Sylphy’s and Lydia’s mistakes… I bet this generation would never imagine that: the Demon Lord, prostrating himself before commoners in all sincerity.

…That aside. As I went around expressing my apologies, there were those who called out to me—among them were those seething with animosity, but most were friendly.

“Please do your best at the Sword King Battle Tournament! I’m rooting for you!”

“Thanks for your advice earlier! Our business is booming now!”

Awash with their warm voices, I realized something. I was now a part of their circle.

That hadn’t been the case in the ancient world, where I had been known everywhere as the Demon Lord. By the time my journey to slay the Evil Gods was nearing its end stages, I had become a legend…which meant I couldn’t form any friendships because everyone was shaking in their boots over me.

I still remember when I tried to join in with some rank and file soldiers who were just shooting the breeze…

“Aaaah?! Aren’t you the D-D-D-D-Demon Lord?!” 

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-what brings you here?!” 

“No need to be nervous. I just—” 

“G… GUURGH.” 

“Oh no! Daniel threw up from his nerves— GUURGH!” 

…They’d all been so terrified of me that they hurled when they saw me. That made it more than a little difficult to hold a conversation.

If anything, if they could throw up at the sight of someone, didn’t that make them the daring ones?

This all led me to hide my title of Demon Lord when I had been enrolled at the academy. But that didn’t change anything.

“U-um. The school festival is coming up. Would you be interested in—?” 

“What? Who the hell are you?” 

“Well, we’re in the same class—” 

“Doesn’t ring any bells. Leave me alone, creeper. Kkkkkkkkr… PLEGH.” The student had spat a glob of saliva at me instead of hurling up their last meal.

I wanted to die.

These agonizing days had just kept piling up. And at the end of it all, I had chosen an out with reincarnation…

And I was so glad that I made this choice. To be given another chance to connect with others.

I was basking in my good fortune as I waltzed around campus to deliver my apologies, which obviously caused others to berate me: “What the hell are you smirking for? Are you even sorry?” But I couldn’t care less. I was the happiest I’d ever been.

“A-Ard! W-we have a problem!”

I was on cloud nine when Ginny’s shrill voice called out to me. I could hear the stress and anxiety in her scream, and the joviality in my heart turned to strain.

“…What’s the matter? Is there an issue?”

“I-I’ll explain the details later! Just hurry!”

It must have been urgent. Ginny yanked my arm as I raced through the school.

Had the demons made their move? No, that would have set off a magical reaction. I didn’t get the sense that the school was under attack, either. What in the world had Ginny this worked up…?

It seemed we’d arrived at the scene when I was mid-thought. Ginny stopped pulling me and came to a halt.

And our destination was our class booth, the Erotic Maid Café. Ginny walked right in, making a beeline toward the kitchen. I followed right behind her…and a terrible scene filled my line of sight.

Strewn across the floor were vegetables, crushed into smithereens.

And on the kitchen table lined charred clumps of meat and fish. Who—what—when—where—how could this be happening?

And at the very center of this disastrous culinary scene…

“Waaaah! I’m so sorry! This wasn’t supposed to happen!” wailed Ireena, plopped down on the floor, sobbing in gushing streams.

Our classmates gathered around and looked upon the calamity as if the end of the world was upon them.

“…No, really. What exactly is going on here?”

This was when Ginny finally offered me an explanation. “Class A did their worst yet…! Look at this.” She pointed to a wooden crate… Inside were mashed up vegetables.

But it wasn’t only those ingredients that had been laid to waste.

All the meat was covered in snow-white film. Mold, huh. This had to be magic.

As for the seafood, it was in the same state as the vegetables—completely obliterated, including our featured dish, the fin of a cat shark. There wasn’t a shadow of their former beauty or appeal. What was more, old water from the well at our academy had been dumped on our flour, which had made it clump together and turn an unappetizing shade of yellow.

“As you can see, our ingredients are ruined. Miss Ireena tried to insist operations could resume to encourage us… This all started when she held out that we could use the crushed vegetables… And now we’re here with another mess.” Ginny cast her eyes at Ireena in her weepy state and sighed. “Because her cooking skills are destructive levels of awful.”

…Ah, so that’s what’s going on. 

“None of us could believe it. To be able to ruin every last ingredient… It almost made me wonder if it was intentional, you know… In a way, she’s a genius. Not anyone can take our best ingredients and make them worse than…trash,” Ginny ranted with obvious contempt. Her gaze toward Ireena sharpened somewhat.

“…Anyway. We’re running on empty. By Miss Ireena’s hand, we’ve essentially lost everything…with nothing to serve in the shop.”

“Hmm. That’s a predicament. Our selling point is being able to interact with the girls, but that isn’t enough on its own. We’ve been able to turn a profit because this experience is paired with good food.”

“That’s right. At this rate, our customers will dwindle, and…Class A will be declared the winners by a narrow margin.

Don’t you have a plan to get us out of this mess? I was getting this vibe from not just Ginny. Taking a cursory glance at the faces of all the students was enough to tell me they were on the same page.

Sylphy approached Ireena. “I-it’s okay! It’s all about cooking with love, right?! See? Even this raw garbage can be a proper meal!”

“R-raw garba…?!”

“It’s fine—as long as it’s packed with love! That’s what cooking is all about! Add love, and the ugliest, foulest dish becomes okay!”

“Th-the ugliest, foulest…?! W-waaaaaaah! ”

I guessed that idiot was trying to cheer her up, but there really was no fixing stupid.

Sylphy became all flustered—with no awareness that she’d been the one to deal Ireena the finishing blow. Finally, she seemed to hit on something and clapped her hands together.

“I-I’ve got it! We’ll have the other booths share their ingredients with us!”

At this, the students collectively went “Ah!” This was a school with prestige. Even the commoners came from important families, not to mention the aristocrats. This was why they were unconsciously deterred from anything that might sacrifice their dignity and give others the chance to disrespect them.

“It’s true! If we could just borrow ingredients from the other classes…!”

“B-but our pride…”

“We don’t have time for that now! The Excellency Award is just within our reach! Compared to its glory, a little groveling is nothing!”

According to the majority rule, we would plead with the other classes to lend us some ingredients…but there was one little problem.

“No way! We ain’t giving you guys a damn thing!”

Every class refused us point-blank.

The reason? “Sylphy made it a living hell for us! Who would wanna cooperate with her class?!”

They were a united front.

They hated her and wanted nothing to do with her—or her class.

This was a lot for even her to deal with.

“Y-you guys… I—I…,” she stuttered, a sweaty mess, looking at the floor with a clouded expression.

All eyes were trained on Sylphy.

But…no one blamed her—not the commoners nor even the nobles who were rabid for glory.

They understood she wasn’t just a troublemaker. After all, they’d interacted with her enough to know she was a kind girl who always acted for others’ sakes.

“…Well, I guess there’s not much we can do now.”

“Right. Too bad we won’t get first place.”

In fact, most of the students were very considerate of her feelings.

“B-but…! I-if we lose…it’ll be my fault, Sis…!”

There was no question that Ireena, who had been tossed into this conversation, would ever blame Sylphy. She simply gave a troubled smile and quietly said, “It’s all right.”

…I’m sure it would have been better for Sylphy to be backed into a corner. Her eyelashes were soaked with tears of guilt.

…Geez. What a pain of a little sister. 

“Sylphy, have you forgotten our little plan?” I asked.

Her tears stopped. “O-our plan…?”

“Oh, did it slip your mind? Didn’t you tell me you have countermeasures set in place?” I smiled as she tilted her head in bewilderment. “If you’ve forgotten, allow me to remedy the situation for you.”

Everyone looked at me blankly.

…Relax, Sylphy. I’ll be the one to protect your new home. 

The sixth day of the festival was nearing sunset, beckoning the moment that would spell victory or defeat.

In the backroom of Year 1, Class A’s shop, the Bikini Girls Café, the leader was smoking puffs of tobacco from a pipe, enjoying their idle chat.

“Our sales are slated to be the highest in school history. In other words…”

“The Excellency Award is in the bag, and that eyesore of a daughter from a baron is old news.”

They all laughed raucously. As they saw it, this competition had been about Ireena the entire time. The main cause had been Sylphy, but the aristocrats couldn’t care less about the fate of a commoner. You see, the nobility was only interested in those of their own class.

To them, Ireena and her family were a blemish to their class. They were just barons, the lowest rank in their social hierarchy, and managed to be praised as heroes. On top of it all, they had enough say and influence as a count.

These middle-ranking noble students couldn’t stand this preferential treatment.

“If the daughter of the Heroic Baron disappears…we’ll naturally be the group with the most power out of the first-year students. Plus, that son of a count, Elrado, is as good as expelled from this academy.”

“Right. But…what about that other commoner?”

“Ard Meteor? He’s annoying, too, but he’s just a commoner. He can’t even touch us.”

To the class leader, Ard Meteor was a random old villager with some skill in magic. Once a commoner, always a commoner. As aristocrats, they were just cut from a different cloth—of a higher quality. He had no reason to fear this character or pay him any mind. Their society wasn’t so kind that it would accept him on strength alone.

“Haaah… Aren’t you getting bored of sitting around and chatting? I’ve got a fun idea.”

“Yeah? Let’s hear it.”

“Let’s check out the booth at Class C as customers. I mean, we’re already going to win, so why don’t we show a little mercy by giving the losers a slight boost in sales? Ironic, right?”

“Ha-ha. Great. I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces.”

With all in agreement, they got up to leave their own booth and headed toward the Erotic Maid Café.

There was no line in front. The festival was entering its final stages, and it was impossible to keep business thriving at this point. Class A was in the same boat.

“Well, let’s see what’s going on inside.”

“I bet there’s no one else around.”

“If that’s true, I’m gonna laugh my ass off.”

Smirking, the group stepped foot in the booth, where an unexpected scene jumped out at them. The inside of the shop was thrumming with activity, doing obviously better than their own…

“““Welcome home, Masters!””” greeted girls in sensual pseudo-maid outfits, mobbing the boys as they stood stock-still.

They swore the girls’ gazes looked almost triumphant.

The class leader opened his mouth, ready to tell them off.

“Thank you for joining us today.” A well-projected, elegant voice flooded his ears.

It was Ard Meteor, flashing a calm smile. “All the way from Class A. We’ve prepared accommodations for you. Right this way.”

As if they’d been anticipating their arrival. There was something off about it. The boys were all in agreement there.

In any case, it wasn’t like they could hang around the entrance. They followed Ard to a corner of the shop and sat down as a maid brought them menus.

“…What the heck is this?”

From edge to edge, the menu listed off unfamiliar dishes.

Strange. This was totally different from the one that they’d investigated.

“Tch…! Just throw something together!”

If they asked for an explanation of the dishes, they might as well have confessed their own ignorance. Following Ard’s lead, everyone at the table ordered…something thrown together. As they waited for the food to arrive, they exchanged glances.

“Hey, this is pretty weird.”

“Wh-why is it so busy? The ingredients are—”

“Shh! We’re in the middle of enemy territory. Don’t say anything stupid!”

“W-well, I guess there’s no problem. Even if they’re playing a little trick on us—”

Their food arrived one by one. Of course, since the main draw of this booth was the girls, each dish came with all kinds of extra services. But sex appeal just wouldn’t cut it for the class leader and his group.

They were already familiar with the touch of a woman and long past the point of making a rookie move by giving into carnal desire. The group had enough experience to scorn their hospitality…

Which wasn’t the case when it came to the food.

“The flavor of this steak…! It’s extraordinary…!”

“I thought you were playing it up with a name like golden pilaf…but…this dish shines and sparkles…! And it’s divine…!”

“This ramen or whatever has the look of pasta soup…but the texture of the noodles and the flavor…! I’ve never experienced anything like it…!”

They might have intended to snub Class C, but they couldn’t bring themselves to smack-talk the food. It would be as good as admitting that they didn’t have refined taste…

Seeing them grind their teeth in frustration, Ard Meteor broke into a brilliant smile. “The ingredients for this meal have been provided by patrons brimming with kindness .”

A jolt went up their spines. No…way…! 

“Do you know about dry aging? You can boost the flavor and richness of meat by dehydrating them. Especially…the matured variety covered in white mold, which is known as aged beef. Its flavor is considered a fresh departure from your standard fare.”

Mold. Isn’t that part of our plans for sabotage? 

“Of course, we promise complete sanitation when handling all food products… To continue, the golden pilaf—made from a fin of a cat shark that a kind spirit mashed up for us. We used it to complement the presentation and taste of the rice. The flavor speaks for itself, but the golden sparkle of the shark fin is as lovely as a gem. Don’t you agree?”

They didn’t know what to say. This…could only mean one thing.

“And the ramen. This is another ingredient that a friendly stranger generously soaked with old water. The well at the academy must have contained lye, which, incidentally, is very alkaline. Mixing and kneading the water with this flour resulted in noodles that hold a unique flavor.”

These guys used every scheme to their advantage…! 

“Wow. To think this world has people with this much consideration. Words can’t describe my gratitude. Thanks to them, we’ve weathered through to the end of the school festival…and earned the Excellency Award.” Ard formed a gentle smile.

It was serene, but beyond this expression, the class leader could sense the fearsomeness of a demon. Everyone else had latched onto some off-base thoughts: We totally screwed up and What rotten luck. 

They were wrong. Sure, they’d been dealt misfortune, but they should have been redirecting their concerns to this boy, this Ard Meteor, his knowledge and tact.

Aged meat? Lye in the water? The class leader had never heard of such a thing. If there was mold on meat or water in flour, any normal person would find them unusable. But this boy overcame these obstacles with knowledge that no one else possessed.

As for the shark fin, he had put a fresh twist on it and transformed it into a new featured dish on the menu. Any other would have seen it pulverized, evaluated it as worthless, and disposed of it. But this boy…!

I underestimated him as a commoner, but it may be time for me to recalibrate my assumptions. 

I don’t need to get rid of Ireena—but Ard Meteor…! It’s you…! 

He imagined this commoner would be the one to eventually intrude upon the noble realm. With this premonition in mind, the class leader glared at Ard Meteor.

I’ll admit defeat this time. But…consider this win as the beginning of your end. 

He was ravished on the inside with hostility… But it was as though Ard could see right through him.

A bead of sweat trickled down the class leader’s cheek.