Tokyo Ravens - Volume 1 - Chapter 5.3

Part 3 

When Harutora turned his phone on and contacted Touji, Touji replied with an abnormally calm tone. That calm yet agitated tone was the best proof that Touji was angry. Harutora apologized and explained the general situation. 
When Touji heard the news of Hokuto's death, he was clearly a bit shocked. Noticing his good friend stunned and unable to speak, Harutora couldn't help but feel pained along with him. 
After a relatively long silence-- 
'......Really?' 
Touji normally would never confirm like this. Harutora hoarsely said "yeah". 
"Hey, Touji. You couldn't have known already, right? She's, well......" 
'The fact that she's not human?' 
"............" 
Harutora closed his mouth. 
'I actually wasn't sure.' Touji replied honestly. 'I never checked with her, and more importantly, she was Hokuto regardless of what she was.' 
"Touji......" 
Harutora clenched his teeth upon hearing that last sentence. It seemed like that had alleviated the void brought by Hokuto's death a bit. 
'I'll go over there with the Mystical Investigators in a while, the aid is about to arrive. Wait there for a little longer.' 
"......Got it. Touji..." 
'What?' 
"Thanks." On the other side of the phone, Touji hmphed lightly, then hung up. He was still calm and strong like always. Harutora exhaled like he was going to breath out his entire body, closing the phone. 
After Harutora told her the news about contacting the Mystical Investigators, Natsume nodded silently. 
The two of them walked down the altar on the stone plaza, standing on the grass. 
Suzuka was still by the altar. She had sat beside her brother's collapsed body hugging her knees for the whole time. She clearly didn't have any intent of resisting, just disregarding everything and anything they said. 
Natsume had advocated using magic to bind her, but Harutora maintained the opposite opinion, believing that they should first let her have some quiet time to herself. Actually, if Suzuka got serious - even though she looked like her spiritual power was depleted - Natsume wasn't sure if she could succeed in binding her. In the end, they decided to go by Harutora's opinion, staying nearby and watching for the time being. 
"......Then, I'm counting on you from now on." 
"Yes, I know. But I really don't think I can explain clearly." 
"It's the same even if I explain. People who weren't here won't understand regardless of how detailed the explanation is." 
Harutora deeply agreed with Natsume's words. To be honest, even Harutora and Natsume who had actually experienced the events weren't very clear on what had happened back then. 
Explained using 'General Onmyoudou', the situation was that the soul suspected to be Suzuka's brother's was actually a wandering spirit and Taizan Fukun was a special type of spiritual disaster. Just like something worshipped in the past like lightning or Mount Fuji, but which now was just a plain electric phenomenon or a national park. Though they were the same things, peoples' impressions were different. The difference between the past and the present might be the 'prayer' that Natsume had spoken so sincerely about. 
But, only Harutora would be welcoming the Mystical Investigators' inspection. Natsume would leave the Imperial Hill before the Mystical Investigators arrived. 
When asked for the reason, she just replied briefly: '......It's a family tradition.' She hung her head, as if to hide the embarrassment on her face, without explaining any further. 
Honestly, Harutora was a bit dissatisfied inside, but right now he was Natsume's shikigami, and he had to obey his master's orders. More importantly, he couldn't say any more since that was what the tradition dictated. 
As far as Harutora knew, there was only one branch family tradition, but the Tsuchimikado main family seemed to have quite a few complex traditions and customs that had to be obeyed. Come to think about it, when they had reunited on the bridge before, Natsume had also said that she was bothered by a tradition. 
"Whatever. It'll be fine if I just convince myself that it's something that I don't know about." 
"......Sorry." 
Natsume hung her head, seeming she was sincerely apologetic. Harutora wryly said the words 'It's alright', leisurely looking into the night sky. 
The night sky was clear and cloudless. 
A moist humidity lingered in the night sky, soaking into the skin and not feeling the least bit hot. 
"......Everything's over." 
"Yeah." 
Upon hearing the thoughts leaking from Harutora's mouth, Natsume next to him also expressed her agreement. 
These matters had left behind a sad ending, but it had finally ended. 
Harutora took out the shikigami charm that had formed Hokuto from his pants pocket. He still felt depressed, but his sad emotions had reduced slightly. 
"......Could I see that for a bit?" 
Natsume spoke, and Harutora couldn't help but be surprised. 
"Can you fix it?" 
He gave her the charm, asking with a sliver of hope. But, Natsume shook her head emotionlessly. 
"I'm sorry, this shikigami charm no longer has any aura in it, and with such serious damage, it cannot be repaired." 
As expected - Harutora's shoulders drooped in loneliness. 
It had originally been an old charm with traces of many repairs on it. Now, the charm was not only damaged, but stained with rainwater and mud, dilapidated. Even an outsider could tell that this shikigami charm could no longer be fixed. 
But, Natsume held the dilapidated shikigami charm extremely gingerly, maybe out of respect for Harutora's good friend, but Harutora felt somewhat strangely that even her gaze was tender, like she was looking at a child. 
"That person...... Hokuto, is she dead? Or do shikigami not have what we call life?" Harutora couldn't help but ask, seeing Natsume's look. 
Actually, he was very scared of finding the answer to that question. He really didn't want anything to deny or interfere with the relationship between him and Hokuto. 
But, Natsume's reply greatly exceeded his expectations. 
"Harutora-kun, the person called Hokuto should still be alive." 
"......Huh?" 
He didn't understand for a while. Natsume saw Harutora's stunned look and changed her wording. 
"More accurately, the practitioner who used the identity of this shikigami Hokuto to communicate with you still lives somewhere right now. Judging from that person's magic, this shikigami is controlled by the practitioner directly, so in other words, this shape is a shikigami but just a 'container'. Someone out there somewhere controlled this container's actions, and her true personality is elsewhere." 
"............" 
Harutora opened his mouth wide, unable to speak for a long time. 
Hokuto was a shikigami controlled directly by a practitioner, or in other words, Hokuto's body was a shikigami but her heart belonged to the practitioner. It had all been the practitioner acting and speaking through that body. 
...That person...... that person still lived somewhere? 
But, in that case a new question emerged. 

"Why? Why did Hokuto - that practitioner do something like this?" 
"I, I don't know that, but she definitely had some reason." 
Harutora couldn't fathom Natsume's reply. 
"Reason? I don't understand why she wanted to interact with me. We didn't do anything special, just played together ordinarily...... Only talked about boring nonsense......" 
"Didn't I say I didn't know? But I think Harutora-kun definitely knows better than I do." 
"Me? Why? I didn't even know she was a shikigami......" 
"But, weren't you good friends?" 
Natsume's words made Harutora stop speaking for some time. He pursed his lips, showing a troubled appearance. 
I lied to you, I'm sorry for always deceiving you. 
He thought of Hokuto's face before her deathbed. Thinking carefully, strange things had happened one after another since they met, but even so, Hokuto had stayed his good friend. 
Harutora was ashamed of himself, having never even imagined that there was some hidden secret behind Hokuto. But regardless of what secret hid inside her, Hokuto was Hokuto and that wouldn't change. Hokuto was his good friend - that was definitely not wrong. 
She still lived. There was nothing happier than that. 
"Some day......" 
"Huh?" 
"Some day, will she show up in front of me?" 
Harutora scratched his nose, smiling. 
For a brief moment, Natsume showed a hard-to-describe complex look. 
But. 
"...Yeah, definitely." 
After saying that, she lightly gave the charm back to Harutora. 

After Touji notified him by text message that the aid had arrived, Natsume left Harutora, leaving the altar on Yukikaze. 
"......You really are an idiot." 
Suzuka suddenly opened her mouth after the white horse vanished, galloping into the night. Harutora's heart leaped in surprise. 
"Ah, you...... You're awake?" 
"......I was never asleep." 
Suzuka continued hugging her knees, looking at Harutora. Half of her small face was behind her knees, and he couldn't see her expression at all. 
"......Aren't you a little bit too careless? You know, I could kill you easily." 
Her voice was appallingly dull. Harutora frowned, not running away, but rather turning around to face Suzuka. 
"You want to kill me and run away?" 
"............" 
"You wouldn't do that, right?" 
"......What do you base that on?" 
"I don't feel any killing intent." 
"............" 
"Okay, I lied. I can't sense anything like killing intent, I just simply feel that way." 
Harutora replied honestly. He didn't believe Suzuka would sink to murder at the end, and though he had no proof, it was a sort of intuition. 
Harutora's reply made Suzuka bury her face deeper in her knees. 
"......Why did you save me?" 
"Save - when you were being choked?" 
"............" 
"I was just stopping the ceremony from going on, I didn't do it deliberately to save you. [25] After all, I'm also a member of the Tsuchimikado family right now." 
"......Even though I killed her?" 
'Her', meaning Hokuto. Harutora's body trembled slightly after Suzuka's clear question, but he still slowly and deliberately relaxed his slightly tensed body. 
"......I thought about just watching at one point." 
He breathed deeply and exhaled, slowly speaking when his voice no longer shook. 
"But thinking carefully, I was wrong. Hokuto wasn't killed by you, she saved me." 
If he hadn't heard Natsume's explanation, maybe he couldn't have replied like this. These were Harutora's current feelings, and maybe someone would laugh at his selfish thoughts - but what was wrong with being selfish if he could stop hating himself with it and resolve everything calmly? Hokuto would definitely understand. 
"She really was a great friend, right?" 
"......Bunch of fools." 
Suzuka muttered. 
Then, she didn't look at Harutora any more, drooping her head and burying it deeply behind her knees. 
Short, weak sobs sounded, and Harutora listened silently. 
But, there was just one thing he had to say. 
"......Listen up, remember to give your brother a proper burial." 
The sound of sobbing increased, no longer hidden, and faint whimpers reached his ears. 
She softly responded amidst her sobs: 
"......Yeah." 
Harutora indeed heard it. 
Suzuka's tears didn't stop. 
Touji and the others arrived half an hour later.