Part 3
In the end, they hadn't been able to talk. Kyouko gloomily thought back over the day.
...Idiot, what am I even doing......
After she had heard the news about the fire this morning, she had felt so deeply that she needed to go console Natsume, that she had to become Natsume's support. But before she realized it, school had ended before Kyouko had even spoken a word to Natsume.
One of the reasons was Takiko's arrival. In front of the naive, sincere attitude she showed Natsume and the others, Kyouko had inadvertently feared entering their conversation.
...Who exactly is that girl......
The 'red-haired girl' they had spoken of once before. Though Takiko showed an extremely familiar attitude to Natsume and Harutora, they should have only met once. The two of them seemed to be very confused as well, but Takiko didn't care.
Moreover, Takiko didn't just recognize Natsume and Harutora, she even knew about Kyouko. It seemed like she had met Kyouko's father and heard about her from him. She had even been taken aback when Kyouko had given her name.
But Kyouko's father Kurahashi Genji could be called the leading figure in the modern magic community. A girl who was the same age as her, and of unknown background, had prior contact with her father. Her father was always very busy, and even Kyouko had few opportunities to speak with him.
...Who exactly is she?
After Takiko had attended the first class, she had ran off somewhere for some reason. But Kyouko hadn't been able to approach Natsume and the others after the first setback. How embarrassing. To think her resolve was only of this level. She couldn't help but grieve from the bottom of her heart.
Then, after school. Kyouko came to the emergency staircase of the academy building again, sitting alone in the staircase landing again.
"......Hah. What should I do......"
She was probably still hoping Suzuka would come. That was definitely it. She had originally thought she was so tough, but to think she was so unexpectedly weak. She still couldn't contact her grandmother, and Kyouko become alone for the first time in a while.
"......I really got what I deserved...... I guess."
She pointlessly blamed herself. Kyouko sighed deeply, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands.
If Suzuka came like yesterday, she would hear about Natsume and the others’ situation. That way, maybe she would be able to muster the courage to talk to Natsume and the others again. Feeling like she was extremely selfish, Kyouko lowered her head into her hands while staring at the entrance to the emergency staircase.
Her worrying had probably led to mental and physical exhaustion, but this state of fuzzy consciousness was actually extremely soothing. Her mind was empty and she was relieved of her problems.
Suzuka would definitely come again today. It would be nice if she could. She hoped she would come.
Hurry, hurry......
Hurry and come - Just as her mind called out the third time. The door to the emergency staircase opened. Her heart thudded as she looked at the person who came in, then she felt as if it had stopped beating.
It wasn't Suzuka.
Natsume panted roughly, a desperate resolve on her face. But she stopped moving once she saw Kyouko, as if she had been petrified while opening the door.
Time stopped for the two of them. No, that instant felt like an eternity. Maybe she would die from the lack of air and the lack of a pulse. That was how Kyouko felt.
But Natsume's expression tightened before Kyouko stopped breathing.
She walked resolutely into the emergency staircase and closed the door behind her. Kyouko unconsciously thought of fleeing, but whether by fortune or misfortune, she couldn't run since she was sitting on the stairs.
Then, Natsume faced the trapped Kyouko.
"Sorry."
She lowered her head deeply.
"I'm really sorry."
"......"
Natsume repeatedly apologized to the dumbfounded Kyouko, her voice overflowing with sincere emotions. This was the first time in her life that Kyouko had heard such emotional words.
...Ah.
It was Natsume.
It wasn't Natsume-kun, the girl in front of Kyouko was the 'Natsume' that she was familiar with. They had only been separated for a short while, but Kyouko felt like she hadn't seen Natsume for a long time.
"......"
Kyouko didn't reply at all, as if her entire body was paralyzed. She had to say something, she had to express something, but she couldn't even manage that much. She couldn't react to Natsume.
But, Natsume bravely looked up and stared straight into Kyouko's eyes.
"Kurahashi-san. You should know already, but I disguised myself as a male because of the Tsuchimikado main family 'tradition'."
She opened her mouth to explain honestly.
As expected, she felt pained to hear Natsume speak in a feminine manner. But even so, Natsume was Natsume. Like her impression just now, this girl was Natsume.
Kyouko motionlessly stared at Natsume. Natsume explained to Kyouko with all her might.
"I...... At least when I just entered the Onmyou Academy, I didn't seriously think about what would come of a life of fooling the people around me. But because it was 'family tradition', I naturally entered the academy while disguising myself as a male...... I thought that was enough. That way, I could conceal myself a little, so it was more liberating."
Liberating. When she heard that word, the tense Kyouko suddenly felt a pang of sympathy. She understood why she would feel liberated without it being needed to be said. Kyouko was from the Kurahashi family, and she had experienced the feelings of being immersed in the gazes of those around her as well as of being viewed through tinted lenses. In addition, her personality of prioritizing the well-being of those around her had probably developed to comply with that kind of environment.
More importantly, Natsume had always been burdened with the rumors of being Tsuchimikado Yakou's reincarnation.
Liberating. That was obvious. She had been too harsh on Natsume. Even if she had to disguise herself as a male and live as a different person, it would definitely be far more liberating.
"Since I was small, I always lived in the countryside where the main family residence was. I almost never came in contact with anyone other than my father. As for friends...... Harutora was the only childhood friend that I was close with. My relationship with Touji was pretty rough from the start. But I never imagined I would be able to make other friends. So...... So, going to the Onmyou Academy disguised as a boy was better for me. I was too accustomed to being distant."
Natsume continued speaking painfully. Kyouko held her breath, listening to Natsume's words and voice.
"So I also became reliant on being in a relaxing position with Kurahashi-san that I was close with and who fought together with me up till now. As a result, I didn't consider about how much pain it would cause for Kurahashi-san. I only finally realized what I did after Kurahashi-san called me a 'liar'. I've always been going too far and betraying you."
Natsume's feelings crept into her bitter, solemn voice. Kyouko felt the weight of every word.
"I'm not hoping that you'll forgive me. But, please...... allow me to apologize."
Then,
Sorry - Natsume continuously repeated that.
Natsume apologized awkwardly like a broken record, and hence it looked like she was fully expressing her foolishness without any deliberation or forethought. It wasn't an act, it was a sincere apology. It was a somewhat presumptuous apology.
Various thoughts and emotions raged like a storm in Kyouko's heart.
But unlike Natsume, they also included deliberation, forethought, and ugly selfishness among them. Friendship and envy. Hate and pity. Remorse and anxiety. Anger and pain. She couldn't completely control them, and her emotions exploded in a rage within her.
But Kyouko picked the purest, most primitive emotion from that.
She made her decision following that emotion.
"...Thank you, Natsume-kun."
Kyouko resolutely opened her mouth. "Eh?" Natsume gave a surprised response.
"Thank you for telling me Natsume-kun. Natsume-kun is braver than I am. If I were Natsume-kun, I definitely wouldn't be able to do what you did. After all, I'm only crouching over here because I was even scared of talking face-to-face."
Natsume had abandoned her 'refuge' and had bared her heart. Then, she should also abandon her 'refuge' and face Natsume. No matter what the outcome was.
"So."
Kyouko placed all her efforts into controlling the tremble within her voice.
"So, you also let me find the courage to say this. Natsume-kun...... you're playing dirty."
Natsume's expression froze as if she had choked when she heard that final word. But Kyouko was merciless and believed she was justified.
"Do you think that it'll be over if you apologize like that? That you'll be able to be 'liberated' from now on? You don't care about my feelings at all."
"Th-That's not true! I--!"
"No. You don't understand my feelings one bit. You definitely wouldn't be able to understand my feelings right now. But I don't plan on blaming you for that. After all, it's not your fault that you don't understand my feelings."
But, Kyouko continued to berate her. Before she realized it, she had even stood up.
"But, since Natsume-kun spoke honestly like this, I'll explain everything too. Please let me seriously speak about my feelings."
She walked down the stairs step by step, slowly closing the distance to Natsume. Her body trembled in fear and she teared up, but inexplicably, her heart became more and more excited.
"Hey, Natsume-kun. Do you know how much I was hurt because of your 'lie'? You've obviously noticed it too, right? I liked Natsume-kun. I won't let you pretend you didn't know - or that you had never noticed."
"......?"
Kyouko's unbridled words made Natsume blush. Her face was probably not much better either. But there was no retreating now. She couldn't conceal it or escape halfway.
"You say a lot of praiseworthy things. Then why don't you say them now? Why did you keep silent when you noticed my feelings? There were many opportunities to speak up, right? You could have put it straight without ever having to mention the 'family tradition', right? But in the end, you still left my feelings alone and had it easy on your own. Am I wrong?"
"That--!"
That wasn't true. Kyouko as well as Natsume should also be able to understand that. Even if there had been an opportunity to be frank, being unable to say such a thing was normal. The closer they were, the harder it was to tell a secret that would destroy that relationship. Even Kyouko, who blamed Natsume, could understand this.
Kyouko knew that her criticism of Natsume was unfair and unreasonable.
But she still had to blame her. She couldn't hold her anger. That was the truth in her heart.
Then, she didn't need to hide it anymore.
"It's fine if you think I don't matter. I can't help that! But please don't come here apologizing and pretending to be compassionate now. I won't force you to apologize! What else did you say? 'I'm not hoping that you'll forgive me', what a joke! If you really knew you were wrong, you should have asked for forgiveness no matter what, right? If you wanted to be forgiven, then you should have just clearly said so! When you say that it's fine even if I don't forgive you, you still don't care about my feelings in the end!"
She didn't need to be concerned about the flaws in her claims, and who cared about contradictions or the like. Kyouko bellowed like a wild beast. Her heart was filled with an intricate, crisscrossing chaos. She hurled her exposed feelings towards Natsume with all her might.
Natsume bit her lip but didn't move her gaze from Kyouko. Tears welled in her pure eyes, but she stared at Kyouko without even blinking.
"Kurahashi-san...... Kurahashi-san!"
She shouted with all her might while holding back her tears.
"I probably couldn't do anything about your misunderstandings. But I definitely care about your feelings. I couldn't possibly think that way! After all, you're my 'friend'! At least I think so. 'Friends' are irreplaceable existences to me! They're extremely important things! So I definitely don't think you don't matter!"
Natsume's voice was hoarse and interspersed with sniffles. She endured Kyouko's full-force scolding head-on.
"What does that mean? Also, if you want to apologize...... If you think you did something wrong, then how are you going to respond to my feelings? I don't want it to end with you apologizing by yourself, regretting, and then having that expression like everything's settled!"
"I'm not planning anything like that! I-I really want to make up with Kurahashi-san! Though we might not be able to recover our relationship from before. But I want to become Kurahashi-san's friend again, and I don't want to become separated from you. Because...... Because! I, I was extremely happy after meeting Kurahashi-san! Incredibly happy......!"
The moment Natsume shouted this--
Rather than Natsume, Kyouko's tears broke the wall between them.
She stared at Natsume while crying. Natsume also looked teary-eyed at Kyouko. It was as if their dark, depressed feelings had all been washed away and their empty hearts had been instantly filled with gentle, fresh emotions.
Kyouko couldn't help but lament. Wasn't this like they had already made up? She had been so angry just now, so despaired, and extremely disgusted. Even now, she hadn't been fully relieved of all of it. But her current self had completely accepted and 'forgiven' Natsume.
It was probably because she and Natsume were true 'friends'. It wasn't related to anything like gender. A couple lies couldn't shake it either. Once the tangled threads were pulled apart, they could return to how they were before.
Even if it wasn't love.
But this wasn't over yet. The girl Kurahashi Kyouko and the girl Tsuchimikado Natsume had returned to a friendly relationship, but there was still a very large problem.
Kyouko wiped her tears, breathing deeply - and smiling bitterly. Natsume looked dumbstruck at Kyouko's smile.
"......Natsume-kun. Do you know the reason I liked you before?"
"......Eh?"
Kyouko's sudden change in tone confused Natsume.
"I went to your home before when I was small and I played with a boy there. I started liking that boy because of it. That was my first love, I guess. I always, always admired that person."
"I-I met Kurahashi-san when I was small? B-But I don't remember it......"
Kyouko smiled emptily upon seeing Natsume's embarrassed appearance. How comical it was, now that she thought about it.
"Well yeah. After all, you were actually a girl. Though I didn't notice before...... that person wasn't you."
Several seconds of confusion.
Then, Natsume's face paled. Kyouko inadvertently laughed.
"......Right? And that idiot, I told him about everything about how I liked the boy I met before, but he didn't remember it at all. Don't you think that's terrible?"
"......"
Natsume was silent for a very long time. In the meantime, her body shivered as if she would crumble at any time, and then she nodded weakly. Kyouko made her decision, mustered her courage, and took the final step.
"Natsume-kun...... No, Natsume-san."
"......"
"Do you like Harutora?"
"......"
"If I said I still couldn't give up on my first love...... What would you do?'
"......"
Natsume shrank back.
After being exposed to this frightening twist, her heart felt as if it had been beaten black and blue. Kyouko, seeing her appearance, felt that it was already enough. She breathed out to relax and continued the conversation, as if she had been relieved from her worry.
"Natsume-san. Why don't you fight with me fair and square, with no regrets?"
Natsume's eyes widened.
Then,
"...Yeah."
She directly replied to Kyouko.
Kyouko looked at Natsume with narrowed eyes as if looking at something dazzling. How pure, how beautiful this was. She really couldn't hate Natsume. She had already become accustomed to this.
"Thanks."
Kyouko repeated her first words again.
"But...... Please promise me something. So that we can have a... 'fair' fight."
"......Yeah. What promise?"
Natsume listened seriously. Kyouko controlled her breathing again.
"Confess to Harutora about 'Hokuto-san'."
The shock to Natsume's heart showed on her face. The impact shook her to the core.
Seeing his master return from the Onmyou Academy was really...... Yashamaru held back from smiling bitterly.
Takiko wasn't good at hiding her emotions in the first place, and it was even more evident this time. Though she herself was silent, remorse, sadness, and unpleasant anxiety still poured from her and diffused into the surroundings. To think so much emotion could spread from her small body. Perhaps he ought to say 'as expected of a shaman'.
This was a room in the Onmyou Agency building. It had originally been a room used to receive people, but basically no one used it now, so Takiko and the others used it to meet with Kurahashi.
Yashamaru opened the door to admit Takiko, casting a questioning gaze towards Kumomaru who followed behind their master. Kumomaru silently shook his head with a dour face.
Takiko didn't sit down after she entered the room either, standing in place with her head lowered. Yashamaru coughed deliberately upon seeing her like this.
"Ah...... Princess, did you run into some trouble at the Onmyou Academy?"
"......"
Takiko didn't reply. In the end, he didn't need to confirm everything bit by bit. He could practically understand everything that had happened with one glance at Takiko's appearance. Her excited appearance today morning seemed like a distant memory. He now understood Kurahashi's worries.
He was also able to guess what exactly had happened to a certain degree.
"Princess. Didn't I say? Even if you meet Tsuchimikado Natsume right now, you won't get anything."
Even if he spoke to her like he was lecturing a small child, Takiko didn't look over. Yashamaru sighed at Kumomaru.
He indifferently left the princess's side and whispered to Kumomaru.
"......Did they fight? Or was she unable to get along with them?"
"......They had a magic battle."
"What?"
"It was just a mock battle underground. The princess requested a contest."
Yashamaru sighed deeply again upon hearing Kumomaru's explanation.
"Don't scare me, Mutobe - I mean, Kumomaru. If she's this depressed, could it be that she lost? In that case, Tsuchimikado Natsume's power is quite incredible. It seems that it wasn't due to luck that he defeated 'Higekiri'--"
"No, the princess dominated the competition itself. But, well...... The princess got a bit emotional and they quarreled......"
"Ah, well. So that's how it ended up."
Yashamaru glanced at Takiko over his shoulder. His eyes, one underneath a monocle, looked like those of a shogun who was troubled by his impulsive daughter.
Just then,
"......Yashamaru."
Takiko called out in a stiff voice, still with her head lowered and her back to him.
"I...... Am I really the same as the Yakou believers that I hate? Whatever I say, I still have expectations of Tsuchimikado Yakou. At least I hope that he can awaken as soon as possible. I hope that he can awaken and regain his past consciousness. In that sense, what's different between me and the people who blindly worship him?"
Yashamaru silently thought for a moment about the question his master posed.
"That's not right."
He asserted this.
Takiko turned around. Yashamaru smiled lightly.
"First, our goal isn't Tsuchimikado Yakou himself. More importantly, we have no intent to deify or worship him. Even if you wish for Yakou to awaken like they do, the nature of your desire is completely different from those of the Yakou believers, Princess. Princess, you don't want 'Tsuchimikado Yakou', you want a 'friend'. A companion that you can move forward with and open your heart to."
"......"
Takiko didn't reply, but her expression more or less regained some spirit. Kumomaru heaved a small sigh of relief from next to Yashamaru.
But,
"However, Princess. There's something you have to pay attention to. Will the awakened Tsuchimikado Yakou be the companion you anticipate?"
"What does that mean?"
"There's no way to check now what kind of magic Yakou used when he reincarnated himself. Yakou's reincarnation might not have the same will as the him from before. Please be sure to pay attention to that point."
"......"
The shikigami's teacher-like warning made Takiko press her lips together in dejection again. Yashamaru couldn't help but feel bitter when he saw his master's attitude. But this was a bitter lesson in order to help her in the future. He lowered his head slightly and reached out his right hand.
His white-gloved palm pointed to the interior of the room, as if telling her that dinner had already been prepared.
With her brow wrinkled, Takiko quickly looked into the room where Yashamaru pointed and finally noticed it. There was a tall, wrapped wooden box placed on the table in the corner of the room.
To the stunned Takiko:
"Miyachi-kun returned not long ago. He brought that."
Yashamaru announced this, and Takiko also understood what 'that' was. Her face suddenly brightened and she ran next to the wooden box.
"This! This is the 'Raven's Wing'?"
His master turned her head to confirm and Yashamaru slowly nodded. Takiko smiled, as naive as a child - overjoyed after obtaining the toy she longed for.
"Yashamaru. You said that Natsume might not have the same will as Yakou."
"Yes."
"There's no need to worry about that. Natsume will definitely become my companion. That's obvious!"
"......I also hope so."
The shikigami avoided any certain words, but his master didn't care, carefully putting her hands on the wooden box and narrowing her eyes as if having a good dream.
"This is great. This way we'll definitely succeed. Next time, everything......"
Kumomaru turned apprehensively towards Yashamaru as he watched Takiko. Yashamaru spread his arms slightly, shrugging without a word.
A well-frequented bar required three things. Darkness, space, and a suitable clamor.
But he hadn't had the time to drink leisurely since the Meguro incident. After being 'spotted' so clearly, it was difficult for even him to move freely for a period of time.
But unexpectedly, the Onmyou Agency hadn't reacted according to his predictions after seeing him. No matter how he looked at it, the Onmyou Agency didn't intend to pursue him. The Exorcist Bureau had been damaged, and in addition, chaos that couldn't be seen from the outside seemed to have even broken out among the Mystical Investigators, the core of the Onmyou Agency organization.
Of course, he didn't know about the Onmyou Agency's chaos, but if he ran into the roving Mystical Investigators on a search, all he needed to do was turn tail and run.
Hence, he went to the bar he frequented, staying 'moderately alert'.
He didn't think he would get ambushed.
"I didn't think it would be so easy to find you either."
"Really."
"Before, I thought that you were quite the free spirit."
"It's a bit irritating to be told that by you."
There were very few people who could talk this boldly to his face and still maintain their composure. The person currently sitting in front of him was one of those people.
The two of them created a stark contrast.
He was a huge man.
He was close to two meters tall, covered in muscle and filled the room with his presence. But his outfit of a suit without a tie made him feel trendy. His short golden hair and chiselled face made him resemble a foreign god who had possessed one of its statues and appeared in the human world.
In comparison, the other person was tiny girl.
Based on her external appearance, she was probably only in middle school, and it probably wouldn't be wrong to see her as an elementary schooler. Her pretty face had a sort of dreamlike quality - More specifically, her expression seemed as if she wasn't fully awake. This person looked like a delicate western doll given life and who had no interest at all in joining human society.
"To think you could enter this bar looking like that."
"Anyone with good vision can see my mature charm at a glance."
"Come to think of it, you're only very skilled at stealth."
"......"
The girl didn't give any particular rebuttal, putting her mouth on the straw in the glass cup on the table and sighing. It was a mystery how she had ordered a drink while concealed, but unfortunately he didn't have any interest in that little trick at all.
"......So."
She asked straightforwardly while gesturing an order to the bartender.
"Doman's messenger, huh. So? Is he already used to his 'new body'?"
"No. Well, yes and no."
The girl's expression didn't change as she gave a confusing reply. She rarely showed such a scornful attitude, even to her master. The giant man's expression momentarily became somewhat restless, and he raised an eyebrow.
From before, the man hadn't been very outspoken. He silently watched the girl.
Then, the girl flatly said:
"First, I'm not the Priest's messenger. I've already left his side."
"What?"
"Also, the Priest is already used to his new substitute. I'm still very dissatisfied."
"......"
The man ordered a scotch whisky. After waiting for the bartender to leave, the man slowly took a gulp.
"......So?"
He looked into the girl's eyes and repeated his question. This time, the girl didn't joke around.
"This time it's for myself. I have something to tell you."
"Say it."
"The Twin-Horned Syndicate has obtained the 'Raven's Wing'. More accurately, it's not the Twin-Horned Syndicate, but rather the people manipulating them from the shadows."
Outrage flickered through the man's narrowed eyes. Anyone who had the spirit-seeing ability might be able to notice the man’s slightly abnormal aura that swayed as it spilled out.
It was an intense and ancient demonic aura.
The man didn't say any more, he just urged her on with his gaze. The girl didn't repeat her explanation either.
"Are you fine with that?"
"......There's no reason for me to step in. Rather, it should proceed naturally."
"You're obviously very concerned."
"Shut up."
The man tilted his cup with a brisk motion. The girl kept observing the man.
"Proceed naturally? I can't understand. His condition right now is very bad."
"......Condition?"
The girl's expression didn't change a bit after she heard the man reply. But the voice she asked "You haven't seen?" with seemed to be a bit surprised.
"Didn't you deliberately go to the Meguro branch to observe?"
"At the time, the 'Ogre Eater' interrupted me halfway--"
The man hadn't finished speaking. His gaze became even sharper, seeming to understand 'whose' condition the girl was speaking of.
"What happened? How is that person right now?"
The man's attitude as he asked this was as if he had realized that the girl was right. He was also a bit surprised. It seemed that his heart really was 'concerned', no matter what his mouth said.
"Why don't you go 'see' with your own eyes."
The girl coldly answered the man's question.
She expressionlessly put her mouth back on the straw, sipping the cocktail.
The ice cubes in the glass made a crisp note.
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