Twilight Upon a Thousand Snow-capped Mountains - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Time and again

A heart that has loved can never turn back

Eternity is a promise no one dares make

I’ll be willing as long as love runs deep

Or to think of you time and again

Even if pining takes a toil on my youth

Resentful of succumbing to the hands of time

That has rewritten love as loved.

——Yan Xi Xuan

I was shopping with Yue Ying when Mo Shao Qian called. The latest fashion was up on the racks even before temperatures fell to 20℃. The mishmash of styles was a field of furry designs, looking like sheep lined up for slaughter.

No the clothes aren’t like sheep, it’s those shopping that are like sheep led to slaughter.

Jack tactfully walked behind us, only when Yue Ying seemed undecided did he cut in to say, “This shade of red is becoming on you and will look absolutely stunning, when matched with the ash grey cashmere you bought previously.”

Jack has an ethereal voice, like the finest violin, playing the most exquisite vibrato when the bow is drawn. When he speaks, his Mandarin has the muffled intonation of a foreigner, unable to twist his tongue into submission yet radiating with magnetism. A glance from his greyish green eyes left Yue Ying mesmerised, agreeing readily to try on the clothes.

When Jack meets Rose, even the Titanic would be sunk by an iceberg. Yue Ying’s English name is Rose. She was ten when she watched Titanic and gave herself that name. Ever since then, she was determined to some day meet her very own Leonardo on board a luxurious cruise, where they would raise their arms in flight on the bow of the ship yelling “I’m the king of the world!”

In a blink of an eye, 10 years have passed, Rose in her twenties has really met Jack. So today, Yue Ying dragged me into the store to shop, her main motive to admire the charming sales assistant, Jack. To be honest, Jack is pretty good looking, I’ve seen many Caucasians, but such handsome ones are rare. In Yue Ying’s words, “When I see those greyish green eyes of his, my heart just goes boom boom.”

I rolled my eyes, “The day that your heart doesn’t go boom, is when you’re dead.”

Yue Ying glared, “You don’t have a single romantic cell in your body!”

Yue Ying is someone who’s full of romantic notions, she has even read all the romance novels. When we were first years, the first thing we did was to visit the book rental store. She looked at the shelves and burst out saying,” What prestigious university is this? I’ve read everything available. Boss, is there anything new?”

Afterwards, Yue Ying never visited the book rental store again, instead immersing herself in original creations online. As long as there were no classes, she would lie in bed with her slim and portable Macbook Air, reading the latest chapters. Not long after, she replaced her Macbook Air with a Macbook Pro, as she needed a wider screen for her tired eyes. I once encouraged her to write her own novel. After all she has read countless others, her writing should be phenomenal. She has gone through so many novels that her writing would eclipse anything from even the queen of melodramatic novels. Unimpressed she asserted, “It takes too much effort, VIP access only costs 1000 Yuan, and I can read novels from the entire site, why would I want to write my own?”

I almost forgot that she’s the daughter of a nouveau riche family, not my words, hers. Whenever she brings up her dad, it’s always, “My Nouveau Riche Dad”. Her father is really wealthy, truly nouveau riche. Her 20th birthday present was a helicopter, not a toy model, but one with an actual pilot and all. She was pretty pleased with this gift, taking me along for the ride. Zooming around in the sky for the better half of the day, almost killing me with the noise. We couldn’t even hear each other. She let out a sigh as we got off, “When i was little, I loved reading about how in elite schools, the male lead would go to school on a helicopter, land on the field, get off, and fall in love at first sight!”

She frowned and without an ounce of pretence said, “Who knew that the helicopter would be so noisy, how is it possible then to rendezvous in the skies?”

I was speechless. Once she even told her dad off for being a nouveau riche, saying that he picked a Hummer like cabbage, choosing the one with the longest stem, without a modicum of good taste. In her words again, like daughter, like father.

Just as I accompanied Yue Ying to the changing rooms, my handphone rang. It’s a unique tune, “Three Rules of Discipline, Eight Points to Note”, this revolutionary song reverberated through the luxuriously decorated flagship store, playing out in comical irony. I frantically retrieved it from my tote, I couldn’t seem to find it and the ringtone got even louder. But a luxury store is as such, Jack and another good looking sales assistant bent down, conscientiously buttoning up the last button for Yue Ying, seemingly obliviously to the strange ringtone emanating from my tote.

When I finally located my phone, I almost broke out in cold sweat, “Hi!”

Mo Shao Qian must have just left the airport, his deep voice had a rare hint of fatigue, “Where are you?”

I honestly replied,”Out shopping with a friend.”

“Go home.”

The call ended, Yue Ying twisted and turned admiring herself in front of a full length mirror, this shade of red was perfect, and she looked like a poppy blooming under the warm summer sky, so vibrant that she glowed with stunning radiance. She asked,”How do I look?”

I nodded, such expensive clothes, could they ever not look nice?

Yue Ying said,”This colour looks good on you, you’re so fair, your complexion will look smooth and creamy in this.”

Yue Ying has read so many short stories that her words are peppered with an assortment of poetic phrases. All the ladies in novels have smooth and creamy complexions, doe eyes, and are lovely looking. As for the men, they have deep penetrating eyes, hint of a smile at the corner of their lips, and are prideful to a fault.

Jack turned around and gave me a charming grin, “This shade of red is really not bad, but we only have purple and black in your size, the design is a tad different, but still as gorgeous, would you like to try it?”

That’s the good thing about luxury brands, they only carry one colour in each design. If the size is unavailable, you’ll have to look for alternatives, it’s great that you will never bump into someone wearing the same clothes. I searched for my purse, “No it’s fine, I’ll get both, wrap them up for me.”

Yue Ying glanced at me through the mirror, “What’s wrong?”

I passed my credit card to Jack as I replied, “Something came up, I’ve got to go home.”

Yue Ying sympathetically asked, “Your boyfriend is back? Why is he acting like an emperor, coming and going as he wishes, abandoning you for months at a time. Yet you continue to give in to his whims, I would have dumped him a long time ago.”

I would have, if I had the means to do so.

Jack had already brought the credit card bill over, I signed my name in huge letters “Tong Xue”. Jack flashed that charming smile of his again,”Thank you Miss Tong. Just a bit more and you would qualify for our VIP membership, on your next visit, we’ll help you apply for it.”

What VIP, it just makes it easier to slaughter hapless sheep. I left after saying goodbye to Yue Ying, just as another sales assistant was helping her search for new designs. Jack personally sent me off, helping me with my bags all the way to the car.

He wasn’t expressing interest in me. Just fawning over a customer who contributes to his wages.

I rushed back in the fastest time, reaching even earlier than Mo Shao Qian. When I heard the doorbell, I had already prepared Mo Shao Qian’s bedroom slippers, dutifully welcoming him back.

Mo Shao Qian stroked my face as he changed into his slippers, “You’ve put on some weight.”

We’ve not met for two months, and not sure if I’ve really put on weight, but he hasn’t changed in the least. After getting off the plane, his hair is still immaculate, and his clothes look freshly pressed. Anyway he can’t be human, since I knew him, he’s been living in a glass case, perfectly put together, suave as always.

After washing my face clean, I am as fair as a freshly peeled egg. I had some light makeup on before accompanying Yue Ying to the store, but since Mo Shao Qian hates to come in contact with makeup, the first thing I did was to remove it. Lucky I’m blessed with good skin, and with my youth I look radiant even without makeup. I tilted my chin, this man is too tall. Even though I stand at 1.73m, which is tall for a lady, I have to still look up to face him. Surprisingly, he pulled me towards him, casually kissing me, “Hmmm, feels clean.”

He’s an expert kisser, and my mind was delirious as our lips entwined, that familiar overbearing scent took over me. His impatient nibbles were a pleasurous pain, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to reciprocate. After two months, perhaps distance really did make the heart grow fonder, entranced by me, he took me into his arms and carried me up the stairs.

He seems different today, I only realised once I was in bed, he was ruthless, as though I was his worst enemy. On other occasions, Mo Shao Qian was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, only in bed does he remove his mask. During the first six months, I was fearful whenever I saw a bed, whenever he came I longed to hide myself in the bathroom and never come out. Afterwards he slowly coaxed me, he learned to be patient and it wasn’t as bad. Who knew he’ll reveal his true colours again, punishing me to death. I feel like pastry, tossed in a boiling vat of oil, shattering all my organs within. At the end even the tears would not come, I could only beg him pitifully. Just like this, he completely ignored my cries, never-ending, finally he collapsed from exhaustion and I didn’t even have the strength to pull my arms away from under him.

I slipped into a short nap and woke up shortly after. Mo Shao Qian was unexpectedly asleep, short hairs from his fringe in stark contrast to the snow white pillow, a peaceful childlike expression across his face.

Damn it, it’s just mask to fool everyone else.

I struggled to get up and went back to my room to sleep.

I’m no hypocrite, Mo Shao Qian’s the asshole here. He claims that my sleeping habits are bad and I roll all over the bed when I’m asleep. His sleeping environment needs to be serene, so after we’re done I have to go back to my own room.

Yue Ying was right, he’s an emperor and I‘m the concubine who was summoned. I’m even worse off than a concubine, at least she’s ferried back by eunuchs, I have to crawl back on my own.

I’m really exhausted, collapsing on my bed, drifting into sleep the moment I laid on my pillow. I even forgot to lock the door.

The consequence of not locking my door is being awakened by the beast in the middle of the night, I wanted to cry as I saw his eyes in the darkness, “I’m tired.”

He planted burning kisses on my collarbone, murmuring, “Be tired after.”

If this goes on I’ll be tortured to death, I haven’t dated any hunks, nor written any thesis, I haven’t earned loads of money… it’s not worth dying because of this. So I livened my spirits and complied until his thirst was quenched.

Too tired, I fell asleep eventually, waking up late in the morning. I woke up with aches all over, turned my head and got a shock! Seeing Mo Shao Qian’s face up close early in the morning, who wouldn’t be shocked? I didn’t expect him to fall asleep on my bed, my sleeping posture is nothing to brag about, with a leg strewn carelessly across his tummy. I carefully retrieved my leg, but still awakened him. As his eyes flicked open I felt the air rush out from my lungs, but in his sleepy state, he was harmless. His nasal voice was laced with lethargy, in a rare show of amiability, “Morning!”

I hurriedly conjured a smile, “Morning!”

Damn it, there’s so much pressure being with someone like this, sooner or later, I’ll probably be afflicted with a heart disease.

I’ve learnt to curse after getting together with Mo Shao Qian, whenever he backs me into a corner, I would start cursing his ancestors in my head. Of course not to his face, if I dared to do it his face, I guess I would be invincible*.

On this bright sunny morning, we had breakfast in the glass ceiling greenhouse, surrounded by blooming roses, petals glistening with droplets of water from their morning bath. Bread, butter and snow white milk. English Fine Bone China is used, the cost of a set is equivalent to my yearly school fees, this is the life of an evil capitalist.

I’m not the capitalist, Mo Shao Qian is.

The capitalist eats his breakfast, I read the papers. The reason why I read the papers while having my breakfast is to emulate the master of the house in TVB dramas, where they all read their papers at the breakfast table. But those people must be reading the financial times, unlike the tabloids I’m fond of.

Xiang Xiu brings Cutie over, Cutie is a Samoyed, two years old this year, with a spotless coat of snow white fur, looking even more elegant than me when it smiles. Xiang Xiu is the Filipino maid in charge of its well being, she’s patient and steadfast, taking care of Cutie will all her heart, as though it were her own child. She taught Cutie many tricks, shaking hands, sitting… every time Mo Shao Qian comes, Xiang Xiu would take Cutie out to him.

I don’t like dogs at all, Cutie doesn’t seem to like me too, I’ve never even walked it once. Whenever Xiang Xiu brings it in, it rushes towards me and starts barking, pissing me off so badly that I’ve thought about secretly giving it away a couple of times. But I don’t have a say in this matter, Mo Shao Qian bought Cutie, Xiang Xiu was hired by Mo Shao Qian, this home belongs to Mo Shao Qian, even I live off him.

Mo Shao Qian pats Cutie’s head and Cutie kneels down obediently to shake hands with him, his snow white paws are plump, placed against Mo Shao Qian’s palm. His intelligence line on his palm is extremely long, almost surpassing his life line, completely proving that he’s a crafty old fox. I resentfully stuff bread into my mouth, and suddenly saw the headline “Su Shan Shan’s Secret Boyfriend Exposed”.

Su Shan Shan only debuted last year, originally an unknown, but she somehow managed to clinch the best actress award in an overseas film festival. Su Shan Shan shot to fame after, with rumours that she caught the eye of a fancy new director, to film a blockbuster. After all that speculation, the sudden reveal of a boyfriend, as an experienced fan of gossips, I knew this must be to garner publicity for her latest movie. But the paparazzi is really unprofessional, not a single front profile shot, the clearest one only showed that man holding on to Su Shan Shan’s hand, their interlocking fingers enlarged and circled in red. Eh! Why does that man’s wristwatch look so familiar? His back view seems familiar too. The design of this watch is exceptional, I stared at the photo for a long while, finally confirming that it is a Tourbillon masterpiece, right now in the whole of Asia, oh nope, in the whole world, there’s only one of its kind. Creating just one takes the master craftsman a few years of work, how could it ever be mass produced?

I shot a look at the capitalist across the table, just then he was drinking his coffee, sleeve drawn, revealing that one of a kind watch on his wrist, crystal clear watch face gleaming in the sunlight. Many thoughts flashed through my mind: The first thought, I’ve finally waited long enough to liberate myself from this beast; the second thought, that this man has really poor taste, Su Shan Shan isn’t even as pretty as his wife; the third thought, this man’s preference has always been unfathomable, I’m not as pretty as his wife either; the fourth thought, this whole issue is just suspicious, even if Su Shan Shan accidentally got caught by the paparazzi, based on the capitalist’s good relationship with media outlets, this photo should never have been published; the fifth thought, Su Shan Shan would never dare to use him for publicity, no ordinary person will be able to take advantage of a capitalist…

Before I could move on to my sixth thought, the capitalist spoke,”What are you looking at, with your nose buried in the papers?”

I calmly smiled at him, put down the papers and continued stuffing myself with bread. Suddenly he said, “I’m surprised you could recognise me with the quality of these photos.”

The milk I was drinking almost burst out from my mouth. Master, you shouldn’t be scaring me like this.

I didn’t dare say that I didn’t recognise him, just his watch.

My face must have flushed guiltily since he casually asked, “Why? Are you unhappy?”

I don’t even have the right to be!

What am I? I’m the second wife, I‘m the third party, I spend his money and live off him. I live illegally with a married man, ruining his legal marriage, on Tian Ya forums, I’m the kind who would be despised and publicly decried as a bad person.

How would I have the right to be, that’s his wife’s prerogative, I’m not taking it away.

I said, “Su Shan Shan has pretty good acting skills, I like watching her movies, help me get her autograph the next time.”

Mo Shao Qian let out a derogatory “hmfp“, I know he’s unhappy, all men hope that women would fight till death for them, get up to all sorts of schemes, cannibalise each other, with women from prestigious backgrounds lusting for power**, just for that moment of pity from him. I didn’t acquiesce, and he’s unhappy.

It’ll be best if he’s tired of me and my defiance, finally throwing a cheque in my face and asking me to get lost.

Before I could fall deeper into my daydream, Mo Shao Qian broke my train of thought, “What did you buy yesterday?”

I knew he would ask, so I bought two pieces back without even looking, what great foresight. I cheerfully told him, “The latest fashions from Milan, but it’s too warm now, I can’t try them on for you.”

The Gold Master nods his with satisfaction, the one who spends its the Gold Master, the canary is the one with the new clothes. My purpose is to feed his ego, to let him spend with joy. Sometimes I disobey him but within limits, just like how a cat scratches the owner’s hand, in a coquettish manner, not to truly draw blood, for fear of pissing him off and getting punished.

If this goes on, I can write about the secrets of a mistress, I’d call it “Diary of a Mistress”, it’ll be an instant internet sensation, since just the title alone is enough to get many hits.

He asked, “Do you have classes today?”

“Yes,” I didn’t lie, all of them are related to my major, and if the infamously unforgiving professor takes attendance, I’ll be dead if I were absent.

“Let’s have dinner together.”

Looks like he’s not planning to leave today, I went to get changed. I looked all over for a collared top. No choice, my necked was covered in love bites, painful to look at, I scolded Mo Shao Qian in my heart for being such a beast. I casually matched it with a pair of jeans, turned around and say the beast leaning against my wardrobe, eyeing me with interest, “And you really look like a student.”

Well I am a student alright!

Luckily there wasn’t a jam, and I was on time for class. Liu Yue Ying had already saved me a seat and we sat in the front row as usual. Why the first row? Because we loved to learn. Don’t laugh, when we applied, we were the first and second top applicants for the School of Applied Chemistry. I lost two marks due to a miscalculation and Yue Ying did so much better, scoring full marks, I bet the selection committee simply accepted her without looking at her information, on account of these outstanding results.

If they knew earlier that her father is a famous private entrepreneur, they would have asked him to donate a laboratory or something. But there are too many outstanding people in our university, the principal probably doesn’t even care. Unlike her dad, who was so delighted when she got into this elite university that he would have plucked a star for her. Yue Ying told me then, “My nouveau riche dad, is always busy socialising, he has never sat me down to for a parental talk or concerned himself with my grades. He even prepared a sum of money to enrol me in a degree mill in America, never expecting me to be such a scholar.”

So when she turned twenty, he was so overwhelmed with joy that he bought his precious daughter a helicopter.

Almost year threes, rarely attending lectures. It’s not often that we hang out with our buddies, the large amphitheatre was a bustling hub. The professor lectured in front and at the back, pens flew swiftly across notebooks, people passed notes, listened to MP3s, sending texts, reading novels…some are paying attention, some aren’t but it was a lively atmosphere.

A cute guy sat one empty seat away from Yue Ying. The unspoken rule is that guys and girls who don’t know each other would leave an empty space between, and the professor is also unfazed by this inefficient use of resources. I took down notes while admiring him. Because the amphitheatre faces the south, sunlight shines upon the first three rows. The sunlight casts a golden halo around the cute guy’s black hair, ballpoint pen in his hand, skillfully twirling it with his fingers.

I stared blankly at the pen and suddenly thought of Xiao Shan. He was the one who thought me how to spin a pen, holding it in my hand, index finger, middle finger, how to twirl it, the tricks, how to control the spinning so it doesn’t fly out from my fingers…Xiao Shan’s fingers are slender and long, cool to the touch, pressed on the back of my hand. I blushed, for a girl of six or seventeen, just a brush of the hand, makes me happy for a long time.

Autumn is here, so the sorrowful autumn really exists, on this bright sunny autumn morning, I suddenly thought of Xiao Shan.

Everytime I think of Xiao Shan, is always I’m least happy. My unhappiness lasted through the day, I couldn’t even eat my favourite “Four Joyful Meatballs at lunch, Yue Ying shot me a glance, “Yearning for love***? I thought your boyfriend just came back?”

I sighed deeply and told her truthfully, “I was thinking of my first love.”

“You have a boyfriend but you’re thinking of your first love, how inhuman.”

“But my first love is far away…out in the world, of course I would miss him…”

“How far is that? Across the Pacific Ocean? Atlantic Ocean? Indian Ocean? Where is he now? If not you can dump your current boyfriend and go overseas to find him.”

I sighed, “He’s studying at the university opposite.”

“Wtf!” Yue Ying was pissed, she didn’t even finished the delicious smelling meatballs, without care for her image, used her chopsticks to poke me, “You didn’t take those first steps, just exit from the west gate and enter their school via the east gate, as simple as that! You have the nerve to act all melancholic here, you really believe he’s on the other end of the world?”

Yue Ying was right, he’s really on the other side of the world.

Even if it kills me I wouldn’t look for Xiao Shan, if it doesn’t kill me then all the more reason why I wouldn’t.

I’d rather hide my true feelings and bury the past in my heart, forever.

Notes:

*The novelist used 下海擒蛟上山捉虎 to describe that there’s nothing Tong Xue is incapable of if she dared to curse to Shao Qian’s face. It’s supposed to be humorous since it literally means go into the sea to capture sea serpents, go up to the hills to catch tigers.

**References the Hong Kong drama, War and Beauty.

***The novelist used 思春 here, perhaps because Yue Ying and Tong Xue have a close relationship that she could make such a crude joke. It literally means thinking of spring, but has negative connotations since the dual meaning is to feel randy.