Chapter 51
Having filled my stomach to the brim with takoyaki, yakisoba, crêpe, chocolate banana and fried chicken sequentially, I decided to sit on a bench in Tachibana Park and watch the fireworks . I’m so full that I don’t want to eat anymore but Kaname and Soutarou are having an additional buttered potato .
Although Tachibana Park is some distance away from the Sakaki Shrine where the fireworks are launched, it’s a sparsely-populated hidden good spot where one can easily watch the fireworks too .
“Tasty!”
“It sure is . ”
“It’s amazing you can eat that . Just looking at it gives me heartburn . ”
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The potato that has plenty of butter and mayonnaise on top makes me full just looking at it .
However, Soutarou and Kaname are relishing the buttered potatoes . Even though they ate the same food in the same amounts as me, it’s amazing that they can still eat this with such relish .
“Mako, here, aa~n . ”
As I stare at them eating their buttered potatoes, Soutarou noticed that I’m looking at them and presses the buttered potato against my lips with his head tilted .
I turn my face away indicating that I don’t want it . However, Soutarou smiles sweetly as he looks at me so I give in and open my mouth reluctantly .
“The taste’s too strong . ”
“Is it? It’s delicious though . ”
The taste of butter and mayonnaise is so strong that it feels like I’m eating mayonnaise instead of potato .
It’s true that it’s delicious but this is calorie overload . What kind of metabolism does he have to own such a nice body despite eating high calorie foods like this? Gee, I’m beyond envious .
“It tastes good but my throat’s dry . I’ll go and get a drink . Do you want anything, Soutarou, Kaname?”
“I’ll go!”
“It’s fine . I can go by myself . ”
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I can carry 3 PET bottles by myself . Moreover, the current me isn’t a girl . There’s no worry that I might get skirt-chased or assaulted . Though, I never had to worry about getting skirt-chased, not in the slightest, even when I was a girl .
“Mako-chan, I want coke~”
Kaname raises his hand as he chews the buttered potato at his own pace .
“Okay . What about you, Soutarou?”
“I’ll get the same thing as you, Mako . ”
“Roger . I’ll be right back . ”
The vending machine nearest to this bench is about 5 minutes’ walk away .
It’s a vending machine placed in a small park so there aren’t many choices . Perhaps I should just get the drinks at the convenience store which has more variety . I can also conveniently get some snacks .
As I walk while thinking whether I should go to the convenience store or the vending machine, a familiar person gets reflected at the end of my vision .
“Mitsuki and Takayanagi-senpai…? No way . ”
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Mitsuki, who’s still mi dolce angel in her yukata, is walking around with Takayanagi .
Although Mitsuki’s expression is slightly tense, she’s laughing shyly as though she’s enjoying herself from the depths of her heart . I can’t see Takayanagi’s expression from my angle but I can sense a joyful atmosphere .
When I see that Mitsuki’s about to turn towards my side, I unconsciously hid in the shadow of the public toilet . Mitsuki knows I’m coming to the fireworks festival so it doesn’t really matter if she discovers me . However, I hid for some reason .
Why did I hide? I can’t go out even if I want to go out, and I can’t move even if I want to move .
I can only wait for the two to pass by . I sigh as I lean my back against the wall .
Does Takayanagi truly like Mitsuki? Does Mitsuki truly like Takayanagi?
If Mitsuki likes Takayanagi, the one who’s actually left behind is me . The one who’s distant from affection and love is me .
“The one who didn’t understand anything, was me…”
I’m embarrassed at the me who acted as though I understood everything even though I understood nothing .
It’s a quiet night . If I prick my ears, I can hear Mitsuki and Takayanagi’s speech . I didn’t intend to hear but I couldn’t help my curiosity and end up eavesdropping .
I act dishonestly while claiming it’s for the cute Mitsuki . As usual .
“I enjoyed today . Very much . ”
“I’m glad to hear that . I had fun too . ”
Mitsuki looks down shyly as she smiles . My heart pricks with pain .
“I was surprised because I didn’t think Takayanagi-senpai would invite me though . ”
“Did I trouble you?”
“No! I was happy . ”
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Prick, my heart hurts as though there’s needles poking its reverse side .
This pain in my heart isn’t jealousy or the like . It’s because I find myself too pathetic .
Be it in this world or that world, I’ve only been staring at my feet, unable to retreat or advance .
Since I’ll hurt someone anyway, since I’ll return to the other world anyway, I made numerous excuses like these, sticking a prevention line so I, myself, won’t get hurt . In the end, I’m just being selfish .
The world I live in is different from everyone . Most importantly, I’m a male even though I’m a female . I’ll return to my previous world eventually .
Still, I think I can live, being more honest with myself . Though with that said, I’ve no idea exactly how .
At that moment, I hear the sound of fireworks being launched .
Moving my gaze in the direction of the sound, I see large flowers blooming in the night sky .
“… How pretty . ”
Although the fireworks are pretty, I feel very lonely .
Mitsuki and Takayanagi are moving further away with smiles on their faces . They’re people whom I know well but it’s as though I don’t know them at all . Walking blankly, I sit down on a bench that the two passed by .
If you ask why I’m so disturbed, it’s because people who’re in love are right before my eyes .
The thing called love is too raw and mature for me . Why can’t you remain as friends? Why would you try and be something like lovers? I don’t understand .
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Things like affection and love are too early for me .
“… Mako?”
“Aah, Soutarou . ”
He probably came to check things out because I haven’t gone back yet .
Soutarou peers at my face .
“What’s wrong, are you feeling sick?”
“That’s not it . I’m just, … a little tired . ”
“That’s why I said I’d get the drinks instead . ”
The Soutarou who sits beside me seems a little angry .
“Yeah . ”
Even the words of the usually cheerful Soutarou is a little annoying now .
“… Mako . ”
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Although I know I’m barking up the wrong tree, I can’t hide my annoyance . Soutarou likely noticed that too .
Having my name called out in a low voice, I reflexively bend backwards in surprise . Soutarou peers at my face as though he’s trying to cover my body . The atmosphere is just like we’re about to kiss . I’ve never kissed before so I’ve no absolutely no clue if my description is accurate though .
“What are you thinking of? What are you worried about? Is it something you can’t tell me?”
“That’s my line . What’s up with you? Why are you so—”
“Because Mako’s in doubt . You had a completely different ambience just now . What are you so worried about?”
I’m considerably perplexed by the abnormally pushy Soutarou .
“Mako’s always like this . Saying you’ll do it on by yourself . Although I could tell you’ve some secret all along, I’m not saying to tell me everything but…”
Soutarou places the tip of his nose by my neck .
“But aren’t we friends? Be closer, … closer, friends with us . ”
“Sou, tarou…”
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“It’s unfair that only we like Mako . ”
The barrage fireworks fill up my entire vision . It’s pretty .
Soutarou, Kaname, Prince and Mitsuki . I like them all .
This feeling has never changed . However, it’s true that I’m keeping a secret . That I’m not a human from this world and that I’m female . There are also other secrets related to these .
These are secrets that I can’t tell anyone for my entire life . Not even to my close friend Soutarou .
Even then, my feelings of liking them isn’t false .
“That’s not true . I like Soutarou too . ”
If I didn’t like him, the indoor-type me wouldn’t have came all the way here for just fireworks . I’m not an amiable person so I definitely would not have gone for such a troublesome gathering .
“Don’t think it’s just you who likes me . I like you too, y’know . I think I’ve always liked you since you talked to me on the first day I transferred schools . I’m not lying . ”
“Mako’s…”
Red dyes his skin from his cheek to his ears and neck as he looks at me with upturned eyes . He then slowly blinks and lowers his gaze .
“Mako’s sly . You always throw me off my balance like this . How sly . What should I do?”
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Soutarou grabbed my shoulder as though he’s trying to cling onto me . Thump, it should be Soutarou’s forehead that hit my right shoulder .
I wasn’t so dense that I didn’t understand his words . Soutarou likely wants to have a relationship beyond being friends with me . Probably, in that way .
Although I’ve been thinking that things like affection and love are too early for me, Soutarou’s trying to take a step forward .
I know I’m being selfish but please wait before taking that step forth . Please wait till I understand the destination in my heart before you begin to walk .
“… Where’s Kaname?”
Not knowing how to reply, I let the first thing that came to my mind roll out of my tongue in a mumble .
“Right . … We have to get back to Kana . ”
“Yeah . ”
“Kana’s probably eating something again so I don’t think he’s angry . ”
I feel like laughing at us, who’re having such a contrived conversation .
But what kind of words should I raise to him in this case? Feeling that whatever I say will be cruel, cold and meaningless, I can’t bring myself to say anything after all .
While sensing that something in this story has begun to move, bit by bit, I close my eyes slowly .
When I open my eyes again, I direct my gaze at Soutarou who’s walking half a step ahead . It’s the usual Soutarou .
Although I’m currently living while taking advantage of the kindness of Soutarou, Kaname, Prince, Ichigo-chan… and many others, I should consider the future properly .
Mitsuki, Subaru and I――our futures .
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