Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatte Iru - Volume 10 - Chapter 5

5

Saika Totsuka is waiting until that someday comes.

The day after Miura came was a clear winter day.

I was outside, dragging my feet on the way to gym class under the overbright sky. I anticipated that night would be a chilly one, from the radiational cooling.

But since I was about to be doing some endurance running, I was grateful for this blue, completely cloudless sky. I’d just be lying around at home anyway that night, so it didn’t matter to me if it got cold…

There were three classes’ worth of kids all out in the courtyard. This running class wasn’t divided into boys and girls like for the other gym units. The boys and girls did do different courses, but it was just running.

As we were lining up on the sports field, I caught sight of Miura among a group of girls.

Since morning, Miura had been trying to keep me out of her field of vision. During class and break times, she’d kept her head leaned on her hand the whole time, her face turned away from me. And during every break, Yuigahama had come up beside her to chat about this and that.

I couldn’t exactly stare at her so I could be sure, but it seemed she had calmed dawn a lot compared with the day before, at least.

After what had happened, I’d left first just to let her decompress. I was a guy with basically no connection to her; she wouldn’t be comfortable with me there.

So I didn’t know what the three of them had talked about after I’d left. Given how Miura was crying, I kinda even doubted they could have had a decent conversation.

Our Miss Miura is surprisingly sensitive, huh…? Didn’t she also cry during summer vacation, when Yukinoshita shot her down…?

But I think she’s strong at her core.

I want to know, she’d said, and her voice still lingered in my ears.

As I was getting lined up, I set my gaze up front. Ahead of me was Hayato Hayama. He was chatting pleasantly with Tobe and the guys, and he didn’t notice my eyes on him. Or maybe he did and was acting like he didn’t—like he did with many other things.

I mean, why wouldn’t he tell anyone what courses he’s taking? Maybe rather than simply asking what his choice was, it’d be faster to pursue the reason he was stubbornly refusing to say and tear that down.

As I was standing there zoning out, the gym teacher Atsugi finished roll call. “Right. Then pair with whoever you like and get to warm-ups,” he said forcefully, and the class moved on to everyone doing so.

Guess I should use this moment to make contact with someone close to Hayama and try asking them.

But who to ask?

Was there anyone at school who knew him better than Miura? At the very least, Miura and her friends seemed the closest to him, and Miura often had her eye on Hayama. Not many would be closer.

So then I should change the way I was thinking about this. Try a different angle. How about talking to someone who got along with Hayama and thought like he did? For example, Totsuka, who was also a club captain. Or Totsuka, who was in the same class as him. Or Totsuka, who went to the same school as him. Or Totsuka, who was also a boy… Well, I’m not really sure, but—Totsuka. I can’t put my finger on why. But definitely Totsuka.

Right then, guess I’ll warm up with Totsuka, I was thinking, looking all around the area excitedly, when a voice called for me.

“Hachimaaan!”

I spun around, and our eyes met.

Lumbering heavily over the ground, smiling and waving at me, was Zaimokuza. Why does he look so happy…?

“Hachimaaan, let’s warm up!”

“Uh-huh… Uh, you don’t have to say it like, C’mon and let’s play baseball… And there was kinda someone else today…” I tried to let him down, but Zaimokuza was not listening at all. He just started babbling.

“Ho, there, they may have told us to band with one we like, but I pair not with you for such reasons, you know… D-don’t get the wrong idea there, okay?”

“Don’t blush and look away…”

I looked away from Zaimokuza to scan the area and found Hayama, Tobe, Ooka, and Yamato all pairing up to start warm-ups. Ahhh! Even Totsuka has already paired up! But I wanted to use this as an excuse to soften up his joints…

“Guess I’ve got no choice…” Resigning myself, I decided to pair with Zaimokuza and start warming up. I stretched and shook myself out. When I was done, Zaimokuza sat down, and I pushed his back.

But there was no point just aimlessly warming up. I would exercise my special skill, human observation, in the meantime.

From the corner of my eye, I looked over at Hayama. But since the guys were kind of far away, I couldn’t get a good view. He had that breezy smile on his face, so they were probably having some fun, popular-kid conversation. From where I was, I couldn’t tell what they were talking about.

I’ve got to get a bit closer… So I could lean farther forward, I put my weight into it, shoving Zaimokuza over.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Hyerk!”

When I heard him shriek, I realized I’d forced him into a pretty unreasonable stretch and immediately backed off. Then, seemingly from the backlash, Zaimokuza flopped dramatically onto his back and spasmed there.

It was night and day compared with Hayama’s group in the distance. I compared us and them via stolen glances, but there was not a shred of fun popular-kid energy on this end. A dark chuckle slipped from my lips, and Zaimokuza caught it with disapproval.

“Hey, cut it out, Hachiman. Don’t compare us with them.”

“Mm, yeah. Sorry.”

“Doing that will only result in misery. Not only is he handsome and smart and athletic, he’s a good enough fellow to remember my name. Come now, Hachiman, there’s no need for you to deprecate yourself so.”

“Huh, you were talking about me?” I thought for sure we were talking about not comparing Zaimokuza with Hayama, though?

But when people are this different, it’s only natural to make comparisons.

“That reminds me—what course stream are you picking?” Yukinoshita had said Hayama’s opposite would be useful, right? When that thought crossed my mind, I decided to ask and try out the idea.

Still sprawled on the ground, Zaimokuza tilted his head with a frm? then answered, “I, you ask? Sciences.”

“Huh?”

“…What does that look mean? Have you some problem with that?”

“Uh, I just thought for sure you’d pick arts. Couldn’t it help you be a light-novel author?”

“Shallow thinking, shallow!” Zaimokuza waggled a finger at me. “Tsk. tsk,” he said, as if a tongue click were an actual word.

Obnoxious… I wish he’d get hit with an Explosion and faint…

“I can gain arts-related knowledge on my own, through my hobbies. The problem is fields I lack interest in. I shall not learn such things unless forced by necessity.”

“…Ah, ahhh. This is the first I’ve ever thought of you as acceptable.” His opinion there was incredibly legitimate, and for an instant, my heart stirred.

But a Zaimokuza who isn’t trash isn’t Zaimokuza at all… Making up reasons and excuses for everything, turning away from reality, then finally embracing his ideals and dying by drowning is who Zaimokuza is… For the rest of my life, I’ll treasure the Zaimokuza in my heart. Good-bye, Zaimokuza.

As I was silently saying my private farewell to the Zaimokuza in reality, he pushed himself off and brushed off the dirt. “Well, I’m also not particularly skilled in math and sciences…”

“Then you’re gonna have a bad time with your entrance exams.”

“Aye. But…I’m far worse with the maidens than I am with the subjects numerical and scientific…,” Zaimokuza said in a peaceful tone, a faraway look in his eyes. I could sense a hint of enlightenment in his voice, like he was arriving at a mental state of nonself. He had such tranquility to him, I couldn’t say a word, and he continued further. “In the science classes, I can live a life of ease. With fewer girls, the classroom shall be a comfortable place. And the girls who choose sciences would be the quiet types, would they not?”

“Uhhh, I dunno if they’d be the quiet types or not, but…I see…you could look at it that way…” This was kind of a revelation. It’s true that science classes are 80 percent guys. You’d have fairly reduced contact with girls.

As I was starting to see the sense in this, Zaimokuza’s eyes were madly burning. “Ha! My standard score and my IQ are far and above those of ditzy, moronic humanities girls; they’re beneath my notice! Let those arts types spend their whole lives considering the author’s feelings on every test!!” he spat.

What a wildly prejudiced and bigoted premodern authoritarian—talking with him is a relief… I can sense the sore loser here! Zaimokuza really has to be like this!

But you know, I hear that girls in science classes tend to turn into the princess of the circle of male otaku, so Hachiman thinks you should watch out! It’s not strange at all, as a girl, to develop that sort of princess consciousness when you spend every day surrounded by a whole bunch of guys. Just like princess cells that awaken from the kiss from a prince, it changes a normal girl into a woman in STEM…

The reason Zaimokuza was going for sciences was very sad, but I’m sure the reason he said first was also true. He’s thinking about these things, surprisingly, in his own way.

“Well, sciences seem rough, but do your best,” I said.

“Ferm, I need not such tellings from thee. I shall not fail my exams to become a rurouni, nin nin.”

“You’re going kind of overboard with the references, man.”

Finishing off the rest of the stretching, Zaimokuza and I both got up and headed for the starting point of the run. There were already other boys gathered there, and we lined up pretty far back.

Zaimokuza stuck up a thumb, jabbing at himself. “Hachiman…run with me awhile!”

“No.”

We’re not girls, so why do we have to run together?

Stopwatch in hand, Atsugi blew his whistle. The guys started running in order, from the front, and we followed after, getting off to a lazy start.

Looking ahead and around, it seemed everyone was casually jogging. Well, I doubt there was anyone who’d get serious for a gym class run.

This was fourth period, and lunchtime immediately followed, so if you used up all your energy here and then ate, you’d sleep right through fifth period. Exhaustion plus a full stomach plus a warm classroom equals sleepy. Heck, I’ll sleep in class even when I’m not tired.

As for us, apathetically trailing along near the end, Zaimokuza was starting to lag behind only a few minutes after we started. And this is the guy who was just calling over his back, Can you keep up with me?

“N-ngh… The heavy acceleration phenomenon… The Heaviness…”

“I’m going ahead,” I called out, leaving Zaimokuza behind, and I scuttled up ahead of the group. When someone asks you to run together in an endurance run, manners dictate that you betray them partway. This is how children learn that they shouldn’t trust people so easily…

I got through half of the distance of the run, rotting along by myself and warming up my hamstrings. Heke! No wait, that’s Hamtaro…

This class endurance run was a distance of four kilometers. We were circling around the outer circumference of the school. Wahhh… If I go around and around, I’m gonna turn into butter…

With such incredibly stupid thoughts as I ran, I eventually caught up to the middle group. I had about average endurance, thanks to riding my bicycle to school every day.

Yes, it was the middle group, but aside from the front-runners and those who wanted to get this over with as fast as possible to take a long break, nobody was motivated here. I’d include this stratum in the back half, overall.

There, I found Tobe and his buddies.

If sports team guys were running like they normally would, they’d be getting way better times. I didn’t even need to bother checking to see they were also half-assing the run.

They were casually chatting, occasionally smacking each other’s shoulders or jabbing each other’s heads, or doing pointless short sprints to compete, teasing each other good-naturedly. If I were a pigtailed class rep character, I’d be telling them off: Hey! You boys should take this seriously! and they’d snap back at me like, Shut up, ugly! and make me cry, and then at the end-of-run meeting, they’d get shamed for it. Can someone show me some appreciation for not being a pretty pigtailed class rep girl?

But it was just the usual three stooges there fooling around: Tobe, Yamato, and Ooka, and I didn’t see Hayama.

Perfect.

There was something I wanted to ask these guys.

Intently stalking these three clowns—Three for the Landfill, if you will—I ran behind them. But I couldn’t quite find the right moment to talk to them since we were running. Kidding! Hachiman just lied to himself! I wouldn’t have been able to find the right moment if they’d been standing still!

There’s not really any streetlights, so this is kind of hard… I was like a Rockbomb, wasting my turns doing nothing, when Tobe stopped running.

“You guys can go on without me!” he called to Ooka and Yamato, then crouched down. It looked like he was tying his shoe.

Nice, the guy who’s easiest to talk to has stayed behind for me.

“Hey.”

“Whoa!”

When I stood behind Tobe and addressed him, he tipped over on the ground like he was trying to break a fall, then turned back to me. “Ah, geez, it’s Hikitani. If you were there, then say so. You startled the hell outta me.”

Uh, that was kinda much for just being startled… Well, ignoring Tobe’s grumbling, guess I’ll just go and ask what I wanted to ask. “Hayama isn’t with you?”

“Nah. He’s taking this seriously. He won last year, so people have serious expectations for him.”

“Hmm…” Is that right?

The only division in our school marathon was between boys and girls, which meant that if Hayama had won last year, he’d also beat the older grades. Of course he’d be a favorite this year. By the way, I wasn’t even on the level of What rank are you? I was part of the masses of also-rans.

Well, whatever.

Pointing ahead with a jab of my chin, I indicated that Tobe should run and got my own feet moving. It’d be weird if we just kept standing there, and you couldn’t be sure a teacher wouldn’t come by on patrol. Tobe went along with it, coming up beside me to start running again.

After some jogging, Tobe tilted his head. He must have been confused as to why I was running with him. I wanted to get to the matter at hand right away, too.

But Tobe opened his mouth before I did. He exhaled, sounding kind of relieved, and gave me a pathetic little smile. “Man, when I heard that rumor, though, I was honestly kinda freaked out. And I can’t tell anyone, either, y’know?”

“Huh?” I gave Tobe a rather unimpressed look. Where the hell is this coming from?

Tobe wiped sweat off his forehead. “I mean, Hayato said initial Y, right? And there’s hardly anyone who knows about that.”

“…” I took a second to react, as Tobe had brought up this subject so randomly. But gradually, the various elements came together to form a clear image.

That summer night.

Hayama unable to stand that loudly pestering voice, the initial wrung out of him in the darkness.

Tobe made me remember what had happened with Hayama and the guys, back in Chiba Village. It’s true that time, Hayama had said the girl he liked had the initial Y.

For the briefest moment, I was just unconsciously moving my legs, and Tobe turned to examine my face. “Can’t talk about that stuff now, right?” he said.

“Y-yeah…”

This guy literally had just gone and talked about it, though, but is that like—is he the king’s personal barber or something? I’m not a hole you can just yell anything into, though…

“I mean,” said Tobe, “even if I know it’s no way, you get freaked out being the guy who asked, right?”

I managed to figure out what Tobe was trying to say.

“…Yeah, there’s no way, right?” It was like I was agreeing with Tobe, while in truth, I was worried that maybe I was saying something completely different.

I mean, it’s not like this stuff even matters. That wasn’t what I wanted to ask about.

But Tobe was still trying to talk about it. To keep him from doing so, I decided to change the subject, first just like a casual jab, and seize the conversational initiative. “Have you already submitted your survey?”

“Naw, not yet. I was basically thinking of going with sciences, but Ooka and Yamato both are saying arts.”

“Huhhh… You haven’t asked which Hayama’s going for?” Fortunately, since Tobe had brought up others for comparison, it made it easier for me to get down to business.

As far as I could see, Tobe was probably the closest of the boys to Hayama. Hayama was also friends with both Ooka and Yamato, but Tobe being in the same club would be a major advantage. As far as I knew… Which is basically nothing when it comes to Hayama’s friendships.

When I asked him that, Tobe scruffed up the hair at the back of his neck. “Dude, he keeps saying Just think it over yourself, and he won’t tell me.”

“I see…” As predicted, I should say.

So then it would be best to approach this from another angle and gather information. Times like these, an easygoing guy like Tobe is helpful. Expecting him to drop information like an RPG villager, I asked something else. “You’re not gonna ask Hayama for advice about your choice?”

“I did that, man. Like, asking him what’s good about arts, what’s good about sciences, and then it was like I didn’t even know anymore, y’know?” It seemed Tobe was actually pretty conflicted about this, in his own way, and he breathed a deep sigh. For an instant, his running slowed down.

This advice from Hayama was very Hayama… Very proper. Inoffensive.

“Well,” I said, “either choice will have its own advantages and disadvantages. You haven’t asked him which he recommended?”

“He said it’d get in the way of my personal decision.”

“I see…”

Hayama was committed to this.

If you’re easily influenced by others, then you would take the words of a dazzling and charismatic type all the more seriously. Someone like Hayama, who’s found himself in the center of a social circle, has to be aware of the influence of his own words. It’s not really a problem when it comes to hobbies and preferences or fashion, but when it comes to your future career or personal relationships, that involves the rest of your life. All’s well that ends well, obviously, but when something bad happens, such a charismatic person will catch the blame even if they don’t deserve it. Someone who will easily let the opinions and words of another sway them will also easily make those decisions someone else’s fault.

But I doubted that sort of resentment was a concern for Tobe at least.

Tobe lazily ran along, looking pensive, but then he sighed deeply. His white breath extended in a long trail. “…But Hayato’s right.”

His words were a little vague, but there was a sincerity in his brevity and the way he was speaking more to the air than to me. It seemed he had an accurate grasp on Hayama’s intentions in saying that.

“…You trust him,” I said without a thought.

Tobe’s eyes widened. “C’mon, the hell, man! That’s not what it’s about? I mean, Hayato’s a reliable guy, I guess? But still.”

The word trust must have embarrassed Tobe, as his face was red with the cold and embarrassment as he backpedaled. C’mon, don’t act like that! Now I’m even more embarrassed than you for saying it!

In attempt to smother his embarrassment, Tobe smacked himself in the chest and continued, “I mean, for real, Hayama has done a lot for me. I’m confident in that. Really, dude.”

“That’s not really something to brag about…”

But Tobe showed no signs of humility. “Aghhh,” he moaned as he constantly tugged at the hair at the back of his neck. “Man, I legit owe him. Like a lot.”

“Then repay him for it.”

“Yeah! Yeah, man… Doesn’t look like he needs it, though.” Tobe sounded careless at first, but by the end, his enthusiasm was wilting away.

His expression was pretty serious for Tobe. Curious, I prompted him with a look to continue. Tobe scratched his cheek. “I talk to him about stuff a lot…but he never asks me for help, so if he has trouble, I think I just wouldn’t know what to say,” Tobe said and grinned. It somehow reminded me of the cold dry gust coming from ahead. Not damp or heavy but sad just the same.

Letting silence fall after that would be superawkward, so I just said what popped into my head. “…Well, you know. Maybe he doesn’t talk to you about stuff because there’s nothing he’s worried about.”

“Yeah! Hayato’s a good-looking guy, after all!”

“Uh, that’s not what I mean… Besides, that time at Destiny Land, you gave him a hand, right? I’m sure that was helpful to him. Not that I know for sure.”

This time, his looks did have something to do with it… Being good-looking is tough, huh?

The talk seemed to have cheered Tobe up, as he started going a little faster. With each chilly wind that blew past, he got himself all worked up. “It’s so cold, man!”

Eventually, we found Ooka and Yamato running ahead. They’d slowed down, maybe a little worried at how long Tobe was taking to rejoin them.

“Well, I gotta go catch up,” said Tobe.

“Uh-huh,” I replied.

Tobe lightly waved a hand like he was making a karate chop, then pulled a mad sprint ahead. He ran up to Ooka and Yamato, waving and yelling loudly. The other two were like, “Whoa, there he is!” and “Run!” as they ran off even farther ahead.

They all seem like they’re having fun… How nice…

Normally, though, there would have been one more person in that group. I think if he hadn’t had the weight of expectations Tobe mentioned on his shoulders, he would’ve been fooling around with the others.

Pondering these thoughts, I suddenly regretted the words that had just now popped out of my mouth so casually.

He doesn’t talk to you about stuff because there’s nothing he’s worried about?

That can’t be true.

The bell rang, announcing lunch break.

When we did endurance runs in gym class, once you were done, you were allowed to go straight to break. That meant that even after the time spent getting changed, I easily made it in first at the school store.

I picked out some random snack breads, and while I was at it, I headed to my usual spot for eating lunch. At this time of year, the cold made eating outside a bit of a trial, but the heated classroom was full of people, and there was no place for me there. Actually, when I’d looked just the other day, during lunch break, there’d been convenience store plastic bags on my seat. If I sat in the communal garbage dump, I would be a nuisance for everyone!

And so out of such thoughtfulness, I chose my standard location, the first floor of the special-use building. I took a seat on the stairs beside the health room, diagonally behind the school store. From there, I could look out over the tennis court.

A regular, rhythmic plunking sounded out in the clear winter air. It seemed the tennis club was using lunch break to practice. There must have been an upcoming tournament—I’d thought Totsuka had been the only one practicing at lunch up until now, but there were others with him today.

Watching their session, I brought my snack to my mouth to munch, and Totsuka noticed my presence. He gave a word to the other club members practicing with him, then came over to me with something in his hands.

“Hey,” I called to him.

Totsuka raised his hand back bashfully. “Yeah, hey.”

“You don’t need to practice?”

“Oh, it’s okay. I just decided to eat,” he said, lifting up a little lunch box in his hands to show me.

But now it’s like I’ve interrupted his practice, and I feel bad… I never thought he’d come all the way to eat with me… Yikes, I feel like we’ll move right on up to the next stage here. At this rate, it’s only a matter of time before we arrive at the Love Stage!!

I raised slightly off my seat to shift to the side, and Totsuka said a reserved “Thanks” and sat down beside me.

…Fwa-ha-ha! By using the high-level technique of taking the initiative and opening a space for him like this, I’m directing where he sits!

Watching out of the corner of my eye as Totsuka started laying out his little lunch box, I looked over to the tennis court to see the other club members had also begun their lunch break. “The other guys have started practicing at lunch, too, huh?”

“Yeah, there’s a newcomers’ match coming up, so I invited everyone… Oh, if you like, you can join in, too, Hachiman! If you start now, you’ll make it in time for the summer tournament!” he said jokingly to me as he balled his hands into fists, pumping them up and down.

Pardon me; please give me this Totsuka right here. Actually, I feel like I’d be the one getting taken.

“Yeah,” I said, “that depends on what day of the week practice is…”

“Are you being serious?” Totsuka asked, leaning forward to look me in the eye. His hair fell into his face. His eyes, slightly hidden behind his bangs, sparkled mischievously, and his smile was strangely captivating.

“No, I’m joking.”

“Thought so.” Totsuka’s shoulders dropped in a deliberate show of disappointment. And then we both broke into smiles. It was because we both understood that it would never happen that we could make these kinds of jokes… W-well, the first time he invited me, I was seriously considering joining the club, though!

“…Anyway, you’re doing well as captain, huh?” I said.

“…The team isn’t really organized enough to call me the captain, though.” Totsuka gave an awkward ah-ha-ha. I guess you could call that half modesty and half truth. But for a long time, the captain had been taking the initiative to do independent practice. His actions had most certainly spoken to the club members more than any words had.

This is fundamentally the way a club captain should be. I thought a certain other club captain would also do well to learn from his example… Well, she can strike the right balance the way she is. It’s fine.

Then the words club captain struck me with an idea.

I had considered talking to Totsuka as a part of probing into Hayama’s plans. But since my motive there had been impure—I’d just wanted to talk to Totsuka—and also Zaimokuza had gotten in the way, I’d completely forgotten about it…

Well, and besides, I’m interested in Totsuka—whoops, I mean I’m interested in what he’s choosing for his course stream.

“Totsuka. Are you going for arts or sciences?” I asked.

He gave me a blank look, like Bambi just jumped out from behind a tree. “It’s unusual for you to ask a question like that.”

He seemed really surprised. “Is it?”

And without hesitation or confusion, Totsuka evenly replied, “Yeah. I kind of get the feeling that you’re always interested in specific things.”

Yeah, well, now that he points it out, that’s true.

Having not proactively engaged in communication with others for many years, I’ve often made sure to set up a reason or opportunity before conversing with someone. I mean, like, if I don’t come up with a goal to talk, then what I want to say won’t come out smoothly. In other words, paradoxically, you can say that loners are useful personnel with heightened goal awareness. Yep, that’s how it works.

While I was busy nodding to myself about this, Totsuka said something that was not an answer to my question. “What about you, Hachiman?”

“I’m going for arts.”

Normally, if someone responds to my question with another question, I sentence them to a lecture, but when he cutely tilted his head and gazed at me with those big eyes of his, I was forced to answer immediately. If this had been Komachi or Isshiki, I’d have already lectured them and would now be just giving them the answer. Oh no! I do just answer to answer! I’m such a softy!

There was a soft click as Totsuka set down his chopsticks and looked up at the sky. During his pensive pause, the cold winter wind whooshed by, toying with his bangs. “Hmm… Then maybe I’ll go for arts, too…”

“Ohhh, you will?! …I mean, isn’t it a bad idea to decide like that?”

For an instant, the line Samesies! played in my head in the Totsuka voice (with bashful gestures), and a heart-dancing encore began bubbling up within me, but I just barely held it back.

“You should think it over more carefully.” I cleared my throat, then added, “…Well, if the result’s the same either way, then that’s not great, either, though.”

Totsuka poked his pointer finger to his cheek and flicked a look at my face. Ummm, if you give me a look like that—it makes me want to be like, Screw the arts course; let’s go into the same grave together! You know…

“I am thinking over it carefully, though… You can get into my school of choice with arts, too.”

“Ohhh. Well, there are a lot of places where you can choose your subjects, huh?” If he had a proper basis for the decision, then maybe he’d be fine going with either arts or sciences. You can technically also make the decision for arts or sciences based not off the faculty grouping of your school of choice but off the subjects on the entrance exams for your faculty of choice.

For humanities universities, arts get you English and Japanese, plus social studies subjects. For sciences, the most standard composition for entrance exam subjects is English, math, and then science subjects.

But in recent years, depending on the university and faculty, some places will be more flexible, like you can select your entrance exams in A form or B form or whatever, and there are a lot of places where even in the arts faculty, you can take the entrance exams for math and science subjects if you select them on your form. Furthermore, with national public universities, many will go by the National Center Test and assign five subjects and seven courses or more. So you have to study for everything.

It’s easy to make the decision based on the style of your target school. But if you’re doing the opposite, there are all sorts of combinations. It would be difficult to predict what Hayama was picking based on this line of reasoning.

“Which school are you going for, Totsuka?”

“Um…I’m thinking about social sciences or sports science at Tokorozawa.”

“Ahhh, Tokorozawa, huh?” I knew the school Totsuka was talking about. It’s a real-deal famous school, but if you go there, then you’ll be isolated in Tokorozawa in Saitama prefecture for four years, where they say you’re forced to only eat juumangoku manjuu and have the wind speak to you… Saitama is scary…

But anyway, it was great that there was something he wanted so badly that he’d go to the boondocks for it. I would like to not leave Chiba if possible. In fact, I’ve even decided that the train I’ll ride will be the Sobu Line local train.

“It being sports stuff, is that because of your club?” I asked. If his entrance exam subjects were something he had to do, then his motivation for wanting to go to that school would be connected to what he wanted to do. So I should consider from that angle, instead.

Totsuka scratched his cheek a little shyly. “Hmm, it’s not really that. It’s just that I’ve spent so long playing tennis, I thought it’d be nice to do something related…”

“I see… So then, did you get a recommendation or something?” He’d been playing tennis for many years, so it seemed to me he deserved some kind of reward. It’s hard to keep up rigorous practice at your club while also making sure to study for entrance exams. Besides, since Totsuka was aiming for a school that was popular to begin with, those who were studying from the start to get in would inevitably have an advantage over those who only got seriously to studying after retiring from their clubs. For someone like me, if the goal was the same, I’d think the less tiring option would be the better one.

But it seemed these cost-benefit analyses were not a part of Totsuka’s consideration in the matter, and he laughed cheerfully at my remarks. “Ah-ha-ha, only a handful of people get those. I think it would be impossible, at our school. Even if someone did get a recommendation, I doubt it’d be for a famous university.”

“Is that how it works…?” It’s true; I’d never heard of our school having strong sports teams. The only thing I could think of would just be that graduate from the judo club I’d met before summer vacation, I guess. I recall he’d gotten into university through a recommendation, but I don’t remember hearing which school he went to. In fact, I don’t recall hearing that guy’s name, either. Still, he struggled at the university he got into, so a recommendation wouldn’t necessarily make things easier.

When it comes to entrance exams, it seems an all-or-nothing bet on the general exams is the most efficient way after all.

While I was coming to my conclusions, Totsuka munched on a shrimp dumpling, then suddenly slapped his knee. “Oh, but if you’re really good, then you might get in via selection from a famous school. There are also places that will do sports self-recommendations.”

“Selection… I’ve heard that before.” I think if you win at that card game, then your wishes come true, and you become an unlimited girl… Wait, no, wrong English word, that’s selector. Basically, I think a selection is where you take a screening exam as an individual.

Totsuka nodded, but his expression gradually grew more glum. “Yeah, yeah. But the people who take those are aiming for a professional career or the Olympics and stuff. At our school, I think if anyone were to get accepted, it would just be Hayama.”

“…Is he that great?”

“I’m just saying if anyone did. It’s probably harder than that, though.” Totsuka stuck out his tongue to cover his awkwardness, then looked out over to the sports field. Once school was over, the soccer club would be practicing there. “Does Hayama need a sports recommendation? Wouldn’t he get in through normal self-recommendation? I mean, he does coordinate the captains’ meeting, too.”

Self-recommendation. The so-called AO entrance, huh…? I think the official name for that was Ability Optional, right? Or am I wrong? Well, not like it matters, but since that’s also a thing, adding that in as well weakened the relationship between entrance exam subjects and the arts/science selection even further.

“Hayama’s pretty wild, huh…?” What a trivial, obvious opinion to have come out of my mouth.

“Yeah. He can do anything, and he’s nice, too.”

I’d thought I had a decent grasp of what Hayato Hayama’s level was, but I hadn’t filtered him through his club activities. Totsuka probably saw him a certain way because he was also in the position of being an athletic team captain.

Totsuka’s chopsticks paused right there as he smiled awkwardly. “Speaking of wild…those rumors are wild, too.”

“Ah yeah, that…”

Unsurprisingly, Totsuka had picked up on the rumors, too. “When I heard it, I was a little surprised. I thought the one Hayama liked was Miura. We did talk about that stuff during summer vacation…”

As Totsuka said, during that summer trip in Chiba Village, Totsuka had been there listening when Hayama had said the initial. And it was true that Miura’s first name also had the initial Y.

But during gym class, Tobe hadn’t touched on that possibility at all. Tobe was a part of their clique, and he’d seen both of them a lot, so he had to have a real sense that there was no way that was it.

So then who did that refer to?

“Hachiman? What’s wrong?”

When I heard my name, I realized that there was tension between my eyes. I forced my eyebrows up and down and relaxed my cheeks, too. “Oh, I was just wondering who it is, too. There are a lot of people whose names start with Y…” I mean, Yoshiteru Zaimokuza, for one. Or if we’re betting on a long shot, how about Yamato? You could even put a Y on Isshiki’s name and call her Wairoha Isshiki. Wait, no, wairo is bribery. And that’s the initial W!

And with those inane thoughts, I chased away the ones I didn’t want.

As we were talking, the bell signaling the end of lunchtime rang. We had to get back to the classroom by the next bell. Damn, I totally haven’t finished my lunch. I hurriedly shoved down my bread and washed it down with MAX Coffee, and then I saw Totsuka, who’d already finished his smaller meal, slowly get to his feet.

Then he called out loud toward the tennis court. “That’s it, guys! See you again after school!”

The tennis club members swung their rackets at him in response, and Totsuka waved back at them. I watched, sort of stunned. I dunno, I just hadn’t ever seen Totsuka being so proactive and energetic before.

“…Doesn’t seem very me, huh?” Seemingly remembering I was there, Totsuka blushed shyly and watched my reaction.

“Oh, no, it’s not that…” Surprise wasn’t the only reason my words had gotten stuck in my throat. I’d simply been entranced. This had stirred my heart more than any other gesture I’d seen from Totsuka before. “Uh, I just didn’t know you could be…captain-y like that. I’m a little surprised.” I was struggling to put the feeling into words, so I stumbled a bit

Totsuka seemed to find that funny and laughed out loud. “There’s tons you don’t know, huh, Hachiman?”

“Yeah, tons.” Thanks to his smile, I found my own lips widening as well.

Totsuka looked up at the sky, bending his fingers as he started counting. “You didn’t know about the tennis club or about sports recommendations.”

“Yeah, thanks for telling me,” I said.

Totsuka responded with a little nod and bent another finger. “Or…about Hayama’s course selection, or that rumor,” he said.

I had no response for that. I still had no clue about Hayama’s course stream selection, and even asking Tobe and Zaimokuza about it obliquely hadn’t gotten me much. The end result was that I was just pretending that rumor didn’t exist.

When I didn’t say anything, a silence fell between us. The only things that could be heard were the cold wind blowing through and the noises coming from inside the school building.

Totsuka sucked in a deep breath of winter air, then gently lowered his last finger, his pinkie, and squeezed his fist tight. “Or…about me.”

His words made a mysterious sort of sense to me.

Totsuka ran a hand through his wind-tossed hair to smooth it down, then puffed his chest up boldly. This was a Totsuka I didn’t know, one I was seeing for the first time. “I’m doing a good job, aren’t I? …Even if I’m not that reliable,” he added with a bit of a shy smile. That was a gesture from the Saika Totsuka I’d thought I knew.

Maybe this was the first proper look I’d ever taken at the boy named Saika Totsuka, without affectation, excess, or deficiency. Though I’m sure I’m still not at all capable of understanding him.

But that was exactly why I wanted to know him better.

“…No, that’s not true. I rely on you, too. I still don’t really know, but yeah… I think I do,” I said, getting up to take a step toward him.

Totsuka nodded bashfully but also with strength.

I think Totsuka has always been waiting for me to approach him like this.

Slowly peeling off the masks and shaving off the excess, for the first time, you face each other.

Sometimes you have someone who you’ve never really bothered with. You’re so indifferent that you don’t care, and you can say whatever the hell you want. Then, like gently and slowly shaving off cuticles, like play biting, that indifference slowly crumbles away.

Totsuka is no angel… A little devil? Or perhaps an archangel… No, or a fallen angel?

Whatever. Totsuka is Totsuka.