Youkoso Jitsuryoku Shijou Shugi no Kyoushitsu e - Volume 19.5 - Chapter Ep2

E.2

I’ve been living in the White Room for well over 14 years now and have completed what was commonly referred to as the second year of junior high. The real world outside was different from the virtual world, but I found myself accepting it more comfortably than I thought I would.

It was unclear whether this was due to the curriculum or some other factor.

While I was waiting in an empty room, as instructed by Dr. Ishida, I was approached by a man.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Ayanokouji Kiyotaka-kun. Thank you for coming today.”

“Who are you?”

I had never seen him before.

His calm face made it hard to believe that he was from the White Room.

What caught my attention more was that he was holding a vase of flowers in his hand.

This was also something I had never seen before. Something I had only learned and seen in images.

“There’s a girl I really want you to meet, so I asked Ayanokouji-sensei for a favor.”

“I don't understand what you're talking about.”

“The girl has become so feeble-minded that she can't even go out. She can keep herself relatively calm at home and in this clinic. That's why I asked you to come here.”

“Are those… cherry blossoms?”

“They used to hang in this room, but I had to change the water. It's her favorite flower. She should be back from her checkup soon.”

He put the vase on the shelf by the window.

“Kiyotaka...!”

As I waited for him to return, the door to the room was opened and my name was shouted.

A girl, about my age I guess, stared at me and her eyes were wide open.

“I've wanted to meet you all this time… I've missed you so much!”

“You’re…”

“Yuki! It’s Yuki!”

Yuki. I knew that name. It belonged to a White Room student who had dropped out a long time ago. I've erased the name from my memory, but it was natural to remember some things since I can’t intentionally erase them.

“Why are you here?”

Even if she didn't really die, the instant she dropped out, everything was over for her.

Facing the dead. It was a strange feeling, but what was the purpose of this meeting?

“My daughter Yuki has been weak ever since she left the Whi— No, the same facility you’re in. She's been depressed. She can’t go outside and just keeps worrying about you.”

The man who was watching from a distance seemed to be Yuki's father.

Her smile was a little different from the one she used to show when she was a child.

“It's been a long time. Kiyotaka… were you at that place the whole time?”

She looked at me with fear in her eyes as she recalled the past.

Judging by her father’s reaction, she was scared of the mention of the White Room.

“For 14 years, I've been there. Today is the first time I've been outside.”

“I knew you were great, Kiyotaka... What about the other kids? Did they leave in the past?”

“Well, they all left so soon. I've been the last one for years now. I don't know.”

I never cared about the ones who dropped out, including the kid in front of me.

“Alone... Always in that place...? I-I... I, that, that place... I...!”

Yuki's body began to tremble as if the fear she had been suppressing was swelling up.

“Yuki, stop remembering!”

Yuki was distraught as she dug up her memories. Was this how miserable a person who’s dropped out of the White Room could be?

The one thing I understand was that she must be the daughter of a well-known businessman.

All I know is that she was treated with respect after she dropped out.

But the fact that she’s going to counseling shows that she hasn’t healed from the trauma.

And one of the healing methods was to meet with me, who was also in the fourth generation... I guess...

Now that I know what's going on, I have no further use for this place.

“I have to go.”

“Wa-wait! I finally got to meet you! I want to talk to you more—a lot more!” 

“I have nothing to say to you.”

If she couldn’t talk about the White Room, we couldn’t have a conversation.

“Please, Ayanokouji-kun, can you talk with Yuki for a while? Yes, any conversation is fine. A simple, insignificant conversation...”

“What do you mean by 'insignificant conversation'? You do understand that I'm new to the outside world, right?”

“That's...”

“Of course, I can tell her a story that's full of lies if you want. I am willing to force myself to make something up to the best of my knowledge, whether it’s about Japan or the rest of the world. But that's not what you want, is it?”

“I-I'm fine. I'm fine with talking about the Wh-White-White Room.”

Yuki grabbed my sleeve, hyperventilating, trying not to let me go.

“I don't think you should. You can't talk to me.”

“T-that’s not true…! I’ve always wanted to meet you again… Kiyotaka…!”

“You should have stopped that feeling. Once you see me like this, you’ll only suffer from the difference between your memories and your ideals. If you want to heal your mind, you should continue your treatment here.”

That was enough. I'd rather take a look outside than waste my time here. The outside world, at least, still holds the possibility of curiosity.

“Please. Not yet, stay a while longer...”

Yuki's father blocked the exit with open arms.

“Is that an order?”

“No... it's…”

“No, it's not, isn’t it? The representative of the White Room didn't give me any specific instructions.”

“Indeed. Ayanokouji-sensei only promised to let you and Yuki meet. This is only my personal request.”

“Then I decline.”

“What?”

“I'm refusing because I think it's what's best for her.”

“You don't care about a kid who dropped out?”

“That's right. I don't care about a kid who dropped out.”

But this guy made a bad call bringing me in as a counselor.

“Excuse me.”

“No! Don't go, Kiyotaka!”

“You're no different than when you dropped out and disappeared.”

“...!”

“You should be thankful for your parents and focus on your treatment here. The more you expect from me, the more you'll regret it.”

“No! I want to talk to you! I want to talk with you more—talk about what we couldn't talk about back then!”

Yuki's spirit, with its terribly childish tone and reactions, had not changed at all since that time a few years ago.

“Wait! Please!”

“Please move aside.”

“Yuki... I'm not the only one who can't reach her. My wife’s and second daughter’s words also cannot reach her. She can't be reached. But… she talks to you… You don’t know how much just that could save her...!”

“Goodbye. I hope I never see you again. I'll leave you to it.”

“No! No! Kiyotaka! Nooo!!”

Her voice crying out and the voice of an adult yelling at her uncontrollably.

Neither of them reached the depths of my ears. I wasn’t interested.

I left the hospital and returned to the waiting car.

A figure came out of the passenger side, waving his hand in the air.

“H-Hey, Kiyotaka-kun. Nice to meet you, my name is Kamogawa—”

I’ve seen this face before. I thought so, but didn’t say anything back and sat down in the back seat.

“...It's nothing, haha. I hope you'll forget about it.”

He smiled, scratched his head, and looked forward.

“Start driving.”

“Understood, sir.”

I sat alone in the quiet car and looked at the view outside the window.

“What's it like to be outside for the first time?”

“Nothing.”

It’s not that I wasn’t curious.

It's just that I don't feel anything, at least nothing that I can call an emotional response to.

“Nothing, huh?”

My father probably had thought so.

That I was looking out the window without emotions.

That I probably couldn’t distinguish the difference between virtual world and reality now.

That was a big mistake.

It’s just easier to let people think that everything’s under control.

At least for now, it’s beneficial for me to keep it that way.

There was no need for this man to know that I was always sharpening my fangs.

“You will continue your White Room curriculum with me for a little while. You will return to the facility when the White Room reopens.”

“Understood.”

The change of environment was no obstacle for those who’d already mastered the skills they’d acquired in the White Room.