3.4
After enjoying myself until the evening, I stopped by the supermarket to buy a late dinner, told Kei I was going home, and left Keyaki Mall. The temperature had dropped considerably, and I had been in a heated environment for a long time, so the temperature difference was quite bearable.
The cell phone in my pocket vibrated. When I read the message, Kei told me that she was with her friend for dinner and they just separated. I sent her a message back that I was glad she had a good day and walked alone down the street to my dormitory.
On the way back, I saw the back of a female student standing still.
She didn’t seem to be walking, and her eyes were fixed on the sky.
It was dark, so it was unclear who she was. However, as I approached her, thinking that she looked vaguely familiar, I immediately recognized her. There were no other students around, and I was alone.
“I’m surprised. I thought you had gone home.”
Himeno turned around when she heard my comment.
“What? I thought you were the one who went home.”
“I thought I said I was going shopping and back home.”
“I see, I thought you said something like that, but… it's too late for that, isn't it?”
Apparently, she had been listening to the conversation half-heartedly.
However, it had been almost four hours since we separated, so I couldn't help but wonder.
“So you're on your way home now?”
Himeno asked when she saw the plastic bags from the supermarket, and I nodded my head in affirmation.
“What were you doing up until this late?”
“Hmm... I've been in a daze. I went to the grocery store and went to the movie theater for no reason?”
She seemed to be like me.
“Maybe you were enjoying your time alone.”
She was a little surprised by this proposal, which wasn’t like Himeno, but she couldn't think of any reason to deny it.
“It's still cold at night, isn't it?”
She shivered as if she hadn't noticed.
“Actually, after we left, Kanzaki-kun and the others asked me if I wanted to hang out with them some more.”
“Oh, I see.”
“I thought it was important to have a chance to talk with classmates alone. But I said no.”
“Why?”
“To be honest, I kinda didn't like the environment and wanted to avoid it. Oh, it's not that I wanted to leave the group or anything. I just didn't like the idea of going in a group.”
Although Himeno was learning to get along with others, she might still be struggling to get along with a large number of people.
“I was thinking, 'I'm comfortable alone,' and then it was night.”
“So that's how it is.”
“But the more time I spend alone, the more I think about it. Especially what you said to me. It really hit me. I thought you hit me right where it hurts.”
It seemed that she was concerned about the struggles she had shown at the karaoke meeting.
“I realized that I hadn't accomplished anything compared to what I had imagined. I had baseless confidence that I was doing something special by teaming up with Kanzaki-kun, and that I was kind of amazing for realizing that Ichinose-san was in trouble when no one else did. It felt like someone had broken my nose.”
“I'm sorry about that.”
“You don't have to apologize for that. In fact, you’re right.”
Exhaling a white breath, Himeno turned to me and smiled bitterly.
“I thought it would be easier to do good things, but it's hard to act…”
“That’s true for everyone. It must be hard for you to take action.”
It wasn’t my intention to comfort her, but I didn't want her worrying too much, so I just told her so.
“I'm trying to find a way forward, but I'm not sure if I can improve by taking action with Kanzaki-kun and Hamaguchi-kun.”
“It's not wrong to be confused. It isn’t a problem that can be solved by standing idle.”
“I know, but... I thought I was starting to save the class, but the invisible gears are starting to go haywire little by little. I can't help feeling that way.”
The invisible gears are starting to go haywire...?
When you tried to do something that had never been done before, anxiety would peek out.
“I don't doubt that. Still, when asked if the gears have been turning well so far, you can't honestly say yes, can you?”
“Well… that's true.”
There had been sound class management, but there had been no results.
That meant that the gears weren’t functioning properly.
“It’s a fact that a change is now coming to your class.”
I still didn't know the answer to where they’d end up, fortunately or not.
It wasn’t only Kanzaki and the others’ presence, but also Ichinose's resignation from the student council.
I wasn’t in control of many things, and the future was uncertain and unclear.
But there were two outcomes. Life or death. Ichinose’s class would either be saved or they wouldn’t be saved.
The course of that process, however, was beginning to be shrouded in a thick fog that no one could foresee.
March, the end of the second year, would soon arrive.
By then, Himeno's eyes would be able to see the results.
“Ayanokōji-kun, do you think there’s still a chance for us to reach Class A if our class changes?”
“Do you want an objective opinion?”
“Yes. If possible.”
“If I could answer that question, I would say yes... conditionally.”
“Heh… I thought you’d say it's impossible. But conditionally?”
“The battle of the second years isn’t so easy that you can get into Class A just by changing their mindset. In fact, the gap between Ichinose’s class and Class A is getting serious. In order to make up for the difference, it’ll take a lot of pain and determination. If the entire class doesn't have the resolve, you won't be able to reach it.”
“Pain and determination…? What exactly does that mean?”
“I'm sorry, I can't answer that right now.”
“You can't answer that, huh? I didn't expect such a response. I thought you’d say that you didn't think about it at all or that you just said it randomly or something like that.”
“That's what people usually think.”
“Because it's about another class’s problems—their suffering. The more we suffer, the more your class will relatively benefit. Isn't that right?”
“Right.”
“And yet, you’re so accommodating and supportive. Why’s that?”
“Because I’m eager to see what happens to Ichinose’s class before they become a friend or foe.”
“What do you want to see...? You sound like you can look into the future.”
No one could foresee the future, but we could predict and prepare for it.
“So for the time being, I'm going to lend a hand in times of trouble. If it's okay with you.”
“I'm sure Kanzaki-kun will be pleased. I feel very reassured.”
Himeno, who saw it favorably, made a small victory pose with both arms.
“I hope you’ll be able to openly show that kind of confidence one day.”
“What? Oh, I suddenly feel embarrassed…”
Saying this, she let her hands reach into her pockets and her eyes turned away with them.
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