Prologue: Karuizawa Kei's Monologue
As I got out of the shower attached to the student rooms, I looked at myself in the mirror while water droplets accumulated on my skin. How many, just how many times, have I wanted to smash this mirror into pieces? Every time I see wounds of the past in it, I am reminded of my horrid past. Suddenly feeling dizzy and nauseated, I quickly put my hands on the sink and vomit into it. Why? Why am I looked at with such eyes? Why? Why do I have to suffer like this? Why? Why? Why? I repeated the same question to myself countless times. Words that no longer carried any meaning. The past is immutable. I cannot change anyone or anything from the past anymore.
In the end, even after I entered this school. Nothing had changed. No, perhaps it was that I had no intention of changing anything from the start. For better or for worse, it was the same as that time. The reason for that was very simple. I understand myself more than anyone else does. Both my strengths and my weaknesses, I know them all. I know none of the boys and none of the girls like me. Even though I understood that clearly I didn't think to change. But it doesn't matter. Because I had long since stopped perceiving it as hurtful. Because I myself wanted this.