Chapter 7: How It All Works
It all began on Friday, February 11th, the day when the letters declaring that Ichinose was a criminal were discovered.
It was after Ichinose had seen the letters, and Kamuro had come to my room to tell me about her past with shoplifting.
I decided to make a move of my own against Sakayanagi’s strategy. In order to carry it out, that evening, I called a particular schoolgirl and asked her to come and meet up with me in my room.
And then, the appointed time came. Instead of the sound of the doorbell, a light knocking echoed throughout the room.
As the door was already unlocked, I just opened it up right away.
The faint scent of flowers tickled my nose as cold air came flowing in from the hallway.
“Good evening, Ayanok?ji-kun.”
Because it was around midnight, Kushida’s voice was a bit softer than usual.
“Sorry for calling you at such a bad time. If you don’t mind, please come in.”
“Are you sure?”
“It would be cold if we stayed by the front door.”
“Yeah. Thank you then.”
For a girl to enter a boy’s room in the dead of night.
Furthermore, to be completely alone with him. Generally speaking, it would be entirely understandable for her to turn down such an offer.
Despite all of that, Kushida came in without hesitation.
“Ayanok?ji-kun. It’s a little early, but this is for you.”
From the inside pocket of her coat, she took out a box of chocolates that had been tied up with a pink ribbon.
“Are you sure?”
“I’ll have quite a lot to give out on the 14th, so I’ve been giving them out early when I have the chance.”
Since that was the case, I accepted it gratefully. There wasn’t any reason to refuse.
“So what did you want to talk about? It’s unusual for you to ask me to come by this late at night.”
If it was something casual, it would’ve been fine to talk in the morning or during the day. It was only natural for her to be suspicious.
“There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”
“Really…?”
A bit surprised, Kushida continued.
“I thought you hated me and didn’t want to discuss things with me anymore.”
“It’s not that I hate you. I just thought that you’d rather avoid interacting with me.”
“Ahahaha! I see! Well, that is true.”
She responded, laughing not as the Kushida she showed to the public, nor the Kushida she kept hidden within, but from somewhere in between.
“But don’t you have Horikita-san? Isn’t she far more reliable than someone like me?”
“I can’t rely on anyone else, you’re the only one I can ask for this.”
“While I don’t know if I’ll be able to help, I can definitely hear you out. Though, what do you mean by ‘I’m the only one you can ask’?”
She tilted her head, seeming to not have the faintest clue as to why I would want to talk to her.
“I want some personal information about various first-year students. Information they’d be embarrassed about if it became public. In other words, I want you to tell me their secrets.”
“…What do you mean?”
The smiling expression on her face didn’t fade, but the smile in her eyes vanished.
“You’ve said it before. That you already have enough information to cause the class to collapse. This doesn’t just include Class C, but students from the other classes as well.”
Kushida, who constantly plays the role of a popular person with a good personality, would often have others consult with her to talk about their issues.
She should have a noteworthy amount of information about the students from the other classes, even if it still dwarves in comparison to what she has on the students in Class C.
“And why does Ayanok?ji-kun want to know such a thing?”
“Are you aware that Ichinose is suffering because of the rumors right now?”
“Yes. Like how today there were those terrible letters…”
“It’s all for the sake of putting a stop to those rumors.”
“Hmm, well, I don’t really get it. Is that your intention, Ayanok?ji-kun? Or is it-”
“This has nothing to do with Horikita.”
“Hmmmm? You’re quite compassionate. You did help Sud?-kun back then, after all.”
Of course, Kushida knew about the actions I had taken to prevent Sud?’s expulsion shortly after we had enrolled here.
“However, are you saying that learning someone else’s personal information is related to stopping the rumors?”
“Yeah.”
“I still don’t get it. If you spread rumors that hurt a lot of people, won’t the situation become much more volatile than it is right now? Or is it fine as long as the rumors aren’t focused on Ichinose-san?”
Saving one person at the cost of many. She might have thought of it as that sort of strategy.
While that way of thinking was correct, she was mistaken.
She continued speaking.
“I’m on good terms with Ichinose-san as well. If there’s anything I can do for her, I’d want to do that. Sure, maybe I’ve heard a couple more secrets than the average person. But, that’s also why I’m not able to say them easily. After all, they’re secrets that I’ve been confided with under the premise that I won’t go around sharing them with others.”
Of course, her response was completely natural.
Hardly anyone would be happy to find out that someone had shared their personal secrets with the rest of the world.
That being the case, one might think that it’s better not to share anything personal with anyone, but human beings aren’t that simple.
They choose to share their secrets with family, close friends, and lovers. After all, everybody wants to share their feelings with someone.
“I can’t just betray my friends. Besides, even if I cooperate with you for Ichinose-san’s sake, wouldn’t they find out that I’m the one who leaked the rumors?”
“Of course. In order to avoid that, it’s necessary that we’re selective with the rumors we end up using.”
Heavy secrets, like those that had only been shared with Kushida, couldn’t be used.
On the other hand, if the rumors are simple enough that all of their friends know about them, then they wouldn’t hold any weight. The important point was that some, but not many, already know the secrets. We’d have to balance it perfectly.
“Do you think that I would betray my friends and cooperate with a strategy I don’t even understand?”
“It won’t be easy.”
If I didn’t know anything about the dark side of Kushida, there would be no room for negotiations.
After all, it was highly unlikely that Kushida, who always plays the role of an angel, would want to assist with a scheme to trap others.
However, because I knew about Kushida’s dark side, there was some leeway.
“If you can provide me with the information I want, I’ll be willing to do something for you as compensation.”
“Compensation?”
“I intend to answer your desires to the best of my ability.”
“Are you saying that you’ll get me what I want?”
“Put bluntly, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“There’s no guarantee that you’ll keep to your word. You’re allied with Horikita-san, after all.”
“Then you should consider this conversation we’re having right now as insurance.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t need to spell it out for you, you know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you?”
I briefly directed my gaze toward the pocket of Kushida’s outfit.
“Hmmmm?”
She continued to pretend that she didn’t understand, so I pushed the matter a step further.
“Even if I don’t say anything, you should probably understand. A cell phone… Voice recorder… Maybe even both?”
There was no way that she wouldn’t try to take advantage of this conversation.
“So you already knew? That I’ve been recording?”
“After I considered who I was dealing with, I figured that you would at least do that much.”
“But you were sure of it, weren’t you?”
She attempted to change tracks, thinking that I was trying to bait her with a trick question.
“If you had to cut out the parts that are inconvenient to you, it would lower the authenticity of the recording. Ideally, you would want to keep the data intact as much as possible. And for that to work, it would be necessary for you to curb your own behavior.”
Kushida had been carefully choosing her words to be as polite as possible ever since she arrived at my room.
That way there wouldn’t be any fault with her behavior, even in the off chance that something went wrong later on.
“For you to determine it with just that… Not bad.”
Kushida took out her cell phone, letting me see the screen as she stopped the recording.
“Well, the recording is over. Ahhh, how uncomfortable.”
With that, Kushida completely did away with the gentle atmosphere that had been filling the room.
“I was vaguely aware of this already, but you helped Horikita-san back then, didn’t you?”
“I’ll admit that I gave Horikita some ideas.”
“Well, let’s just put that aside for now. I’ll always be able to hear about it when we’re done with this.”
She said, taking us back to the topic at hand.
“So, how do you intend to use another person’s personal information to stop the rumors about Ichinose-san?”
Getting to the point, Kushida switched gears and adopted a listening posture.
“That is- by getting the ever-watchful school involved.”
“Involving the school…?”
“Currently, Ichinose has been keeping silent about the rumors, refusing to take action against them. So naturally, the school hasn’t done anything in response.”
“Is it okay to make that assumption? It’s possible that the school will still do something to stop the rumors, isn’t it?”
“Sorta. Even if her homeroom teacher knows about her situation, the fact that the school still hasn’t taken action is because Ichinose herself hasn’t been asking for it in the first place. So, we should just escalate the issue to the point where they can no longer quietly sit back and watch. If we do, the school should definitely start to take the situation more seriously.”
Even if the school’s isolated from the rest of the world, the age of being able to cover everything up has come to an end.
If there were constant reports of slander amongst the school’s student body, causing dropouts, or potentially even rumors of suicide, the school would see its social status and honor disappear almost immediately.
Schools would never be able to ignore a problem that may turn into a case of bullying.
Naturally, Sakayanagi’s attacks were just barely toeing the line of what was acceptable.
In which case, I would just have to go behind the scenes and push it over that very line.
And as a result, the whole situation with the rumors would start to die down. That was the plan.
“Not everyone will be able to keep silent like Ichinose-san, so you’re saying that you’ll have other students go and cry to the school instead?”
“Exactly. Plus, even if nobody else reaches out to the school, the end-of-year exams are right around the corner. The rumors should help create an extremely tense, irritated atmosphere. Small fights or quarrels may end up taking place as well.”
“And as a result, the school won’t be able to sit back and watch anymore… is what you’re getting at?”
Select a few people from each class and spread an intricate mix of truths and lies about them.
It’s possible that over half of the students targeted by the rumors will speak out and deny them.
It’s even possible that nobody would end up admitting to the rumors at all.
But, that would only go to show that there may be some truth hidden within the rumors in the first place.
“We would also have another advantage. Given the current situation, Class A would be the first suspect if new rumors show up.”
Because the Sakayanagi camp had spread rumors in order to entrap Ichinose, they would immediately notice the influence of an outside party.
However, even if they notice it, there wasn’t anything they could do about it.
Even if they devoted all of their energy toward denying these new rumors, they still wouldn’t be able to deny that they had spread rumors in the past. Due to that, they wouldn’t be able to avoid shouldering most of the suspicion.
With this in mind, Kushida appeared to have understood where I was going with all of this.
“But, how do you plan to spread so many rumors? It’s not easy.”
“How will I spread the rumors? With the school forums.”
“By forums, are you referring to the ones in the school’s app? You do know that nobody uses those, right? Besides, if the school is forced into action, won’t they punish the people responsible for spreading the rumors? Even though you can post to the forums anonymously, won’t the school immediately be able to tell who posted the rumors?”
Kushida asked me one question after another.
“Those risks have all been taken into consideration.”
“In other words… In the worst case scenario, you’re prepared to take on the blame for spreading the rumors?”
“Yeah. And should that happen, I wouldn’t say anything about your involvement at all.”
Of course, I had already thought of countermeasures just in case it came out that I was involved, but it wasn’t certain whether or not it would get to that point yet.
In the first place, I never intended to post anything on the forums that could be traced back to me.
“There are still risks in this for me.”
“That’s true. If it’s traced back to me, the fact that I know so much about the internal affairs of other students would seem unnatural. It’s possible that some students will think that I got my information from someone else.”
The one thing I had to be careful of at this point was to avoid conducting myself too perfectly in front of Kushida.
It was important for her to think that I was overlooking a few things here and there.
“In order to make things more acceptable for you, we’ll have to carefully select which rumors we end up using.”
“…Yeah. Ayanok?ji-kun’s goal is clear to me at this point. I’ll consider it. My cooperation will depend on our conversation moving forward.”
Her words were another way of saying that she still hadn’t been convinced just yet.
“It depends on whether or not I come to accept your conditions? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Exactly.”
It would be difficult to carry out this operation without Kushida.
While it would be possible to just make up a bunch of lies, that wouldn’t be enough to cause discomfort within everyone’s hearts.
By weaving a countless number of truths into the mix, it would be enough to make people anxious of their surroundings.
And that anxiety would be the source of the fire that would spread shortly after.
“Then, what are your conditions?”
Of course, if the conditions she put forward were unacceptable, then negotiations would break down.
“Horikita Suzune’s withdrawal from school.”
“Unacceptable.”
“It is, isn’t it?”
Kushida’s greatest desire.
She knew it wouldn’t happen, but she mentioned it just in case.
“Having you dropout would be the same, right?”
“That would be even more unacceptable than having Horikita dropout.”
“Ahaha.”
Kushida laughed, finding my response just a little amusing.
“But there’s nothing else I want.”
“In which case, how about I make a suggestion?”
I decided to offer her some conditions myself.
“Alright. What is it?”
“I’ll give you half of all of the private points I get moving forward.”
“What? Isn’t that the same deal that Ry?en made…?”
As expected, Kushida knew the details of the agreement that Ry?en had made with Class A.
“Yeah, you can think of it as the same agreement. Of course, if needed, I can show you the log of deposits and withdrawals in my account every month so you can be certain that I’m not scamming you. With this, by the time you graduate, you’ll receive hundreds of thousands to a few million private points. It’s an exceptional price for the information you’d be giving up.”
There was a brief silence as Kushida considered the offer.
“It’s certainly not a bad offer. But, unfortunately, I’m currently not in dire need for more private points. It can never hurt to have more money, but I already have plenty.”
Kushida had obtained a very large sum of points during the special exam on the cruise ship.
It can be inferred that, even if she had used those points extravagantly to some extent, she would still have more than enough left over now.
However, at the end of the day, the easiest and most efficient way to negotiate is with money.
“Even if there’s enough to use leisurely, there’s nothing wrong with holding onto more points in case of an emergency. I believe Chabashira-sensei said it as well. That private points are indispensable when it comes to protecting yourself.”
If you think of them as your own insurance, it would be better to hold onto each and every point you could.
“This proposal of yours… No matter how I look at it, you’re putting yourself at a disadvantage, Ayanok?ji-kun. If this was an emergency where you were at risk of dropping out of school, I guess I could understand? But, it’s strange that you’re willing to sacrifice half of your own soul for the sake of saving Ichinose-san.”
“I like Ichinose.”
“Jokes like that aren’t necessary.”
I had thought that she would laugh, but Kushida didn’t show any signs of it.
“Then I’ll tell you the truth. It would certainly hurt to lose half of my private points. But, that’s exactly how I’ll be able to protect myself.”
“What are you getting at?”
“I’m one of the people you want to see drop out of school. I don’t know when I’ll be stabbed in the back. In other words, it’s my defense plan.”
“Your point is that if you start to supply me with your private points, your existence will become beneficial to me, is that what you’re getting at?”
“Yeah. Being your enemy is troublesome. I think it’s well worth giving you half.”
It was an arrangement that would be concluded with the provision of private points.
As long as neither of us betrays the other, she would receive a continuous supply of private points.
These conditions were definitely not bad for her.
“…I see.”
After considering it for a bit, Kushida came to a conclusion.
“Alright, I’m on board. The strict condition is that I don’t antagonize Ayanok?ji-kun, is that all? Don’t you want to add some kind of guarantee for Horikita-san as well?”
“I’m not that greedy. It would be troublesome if I were to also ask for Horikita’s protection and negotiations were to break down.”
“Those are immensely attractive conditions aren’t they?”
“If you’re worried about making a verbal agreement, would you rather I provide you with something in writing?”
“No, that won’t be necessary.”
Kushida reached into her pocket… and took out a voice recorder.
Two recordings. She had been recording with not only her cell phone, but with a backup recorder as well.
“I have all the evidence I need right here. If you betray me at all… you know what will happen, yes?”
“Yeah.”
If I were to break our agreement, in the worst case, she could bring this conversation to the attention of the school.
It would then be possible for her extort points from me without making the matter public.
“As expected, Ayanok?ji-kun is completely different from Horikita-san.”
Give and take.
It was impractical for the other party to believe in you with a relationship built upon emotion alone.
Unlike emotion, invisible to the naked eye, numbers can be seen and verified.
Horikita’s way of doing things was by no means inferior.
There are times when relationships supported by emotion outperform relationships built upon numbers and agreements.
In this case, however, the hurdle for that was extremely high.
The very method of attempting to persuade Kushida to endure her own feelings of malice was a mistake in and of itself.
“But is it really fine for you to give me half?”
“If the amount is too low, it wouldn’t leave an impression on you.”
Of course, continuously handing out so many private points would become a heavy burden for me.
However, that problem would be handled soon enough.
“We’ve finished our negotiations, so is it alright if you tell me what I want to know now?”
“Sure. What type of stuff are you looking for?”
“Crimes or even embarrassing information about someone’s past, either would be fine. Generally speaking, something that would cause problems if it was made public.”
“Sure. I’ll tell you properly then.”
Amused by the situation, Kushida began to share the secrets she had accumulated over the last year.
She led with things like crushes and who certain people hated, and then went into students’ family circumstances and past acts of delinquency.
February 14th, Valentine’s day. This was the day that, during my lunch break, I decided that I would deal with Hashimoto’s persistent after-school stalking sessions. I had predicted that Kei would give me Valentine’s chocolate, so I opted to take advantage of it.
If Kei were to give me chocolate, it would have to be either in the early morning or the evening after, not during the day while we were at school. As she had only just broken up with Hirata, there was no reason for her to carry chocolates around in her bag. For her, the mere act of handing chocolates to someone would be enough to cause an uproar in the first place. So, I had intentionally turned off my cell phone the night before.
The chance of her carelessly coming into contact with me was effectively zero. Still, I opted to turn the phone off anyway in order to avoid having to make an excuse about the morning being an inconvenient time. Everything had to be completely natural when we met.
For Hashimoto, the lack of results from tailing me should’ve begun to gnaw at his patience at this point.
So, I decided to give him a hint that something was going to happen.
And that, was the secret meeting with Kei and subsequent exchange of chocolate. The reason why the meet-up was scheduled at five was because Hashimoto’s tailing sessions always lasted until just before six. And, sure enough, Hashimoto was watching, keeping tabs on me with the lobby surveillance cameras as I left the building.
Ever since he had started tailing me, this was his first inexplicable opportunity to make contact, so he boldly confronted the two of us in person. Well, the result would’ve been the same even if he had simply sat back and watched.
Hashimoto seemed satisfied with the conclusion that Kei might have been the person I had been regularly coming into contact with.
And the day after that, Hashimoto’s stalking sessions stopped. He had shifted his attention toward preparations for the end-of-year exam.
I was finally able to move freely.
I went to the school with the Valentine’s chocolate I had received from Kei still in my bag.
I met up with Hiyori Shiina at the library. Of course, the majority of our conversation consisted of idle chatter about various books.
However, my true focus was on something else entirely.
Our conversation was just a preface for the countless rumors that would spread the following day.
Rumors about Ichinose aside, Class A may be trying to pull another stunt entirely.
This was the seed that I had planted, and a few days later, that seed began to bear fruit. By purposefully selecting the belligerent Ishizaki and Ibuki as targets for the rumors, it would ideally create a volatile situation. However, that was just a bonus. Even if it had ended up developing differently, it would all turn out pretty much the same way in the end.
The truly important part came afterward. Namely, when and how the messages would be posted on the forums.
I got in contact with the person I had selected to solve these problems, vice president Kiriyama.
A second year Class B student aiming for Nagumo’s downfall.
After chatting with Hiyori at the library, I met Kiriyama at the school building after most of the students had already gone home for the day.
I revealed my entire plan, my strategy to save Ichinose.
“I see. So you’re telling me to post the rumors with my own phone? There’d be no benefit in that for me at all.”
“That’s not true. There are benefits in this for you. Acting as my intermediary in this will create a new relationship for the two of us. If I were to keep waiting for you to take action, our relationship would never move forward.”
In fact, Kiriyama had never once asked anything of me.
“Of course it wouldn’t, I seriously doubt your abilities.”
“Yes. Which is why, you shouldn’t only return the favor, but also make the other party owe you one. That way, in the off chance that an emergency takes place later on, it’ll be easier for you to rely on me. Besides, making the post on the forums wouldn’t be all bad for you.”
“…What do you mean?”
“Ichinose Honami is a valuable asset for the student council. It would be unfortunate for you to lose her. If you post the rumors on the forums, you’d be able to ensure her safety by getting the school involved.”
“But if I involve myself with a first-year problem and post the rumors, it would bring the credibility of the student council into question.”
“And what’s wrong with that?”
“What…?”
“If the credibility of the student council falls, president Nagumo would take more damage than anyone else. If you want to see his downfall, shouldn’t you be welcoming my proposal?”
“How stupid. It would be a huge problem if it was discovered that I was the one who posted the rumors. Not only would I be penalized by the school, but Nagumo might even relieve me of my position as vice president-”
“Can’t you just muddle through such a small issue with some tact? You are competing against president Nagumo, aren’t you? Or, are you saying that you’re already incapable of opposing the student council president?”
“What would a mere first-year like you know…!?”
Kiriyama glowered at me, his eyes full of rage.
“According to the former student council president, Kushida has already established contact with president Nagumo.”
“Why do you…… Horikita-senpai’s really placed a lot of trust in someone like you, hasn’t he?”
“She’s one of the most well-informed students in her school-year. So in other words, the rumors spread on the forums could be explained as a strategy designed for Kushida to leak information to president Nagumo. An excuse like this would also be easily accepted by others.”
The excuse that Kushida had provided the information to Nagumo, who then instructed Kiriyama to use it to save Ichinose.
This new, unexpected solution slowly began to take shape.
“…You’re telling me that you contacted me after thinking that far ahead?”
Kiriyama was lost in thought, imagining what would happen should he actually make the posts on the forums.
But, this still wouldn’t be enough to get his consent.
“If you turn me down here, I’ll be forced to conclude that you’ve given in to Nagumo. Or perhaps… I’ll report to the former student council president that you’re just another person who’s already been won over instead?”
This could’ve come off as a threat, but it was the deciding factor when it came to getting Kiriyama to cooperate.
“So will you do it?”
“…When should I post the messages?”
“Right here, right now.”
If it was put off until later, he might end up posting the messages with someone else’s cell phone.
Of course, that wouldn’t change anything, but I wanted to avoid any uncertainties in my future plans as much as possible.
Above all, it was necessary to keep in mind the possibility of Kiriyama leaking this matter to a third party as well.
“Alright. You owe me big time.”
“Thank you very much.”
I showed Kiriyama all of the rumors that I had written down in my phone and had him type them all out by hand.
After about ten minutes of work, the operation was complete.
There probably wouldn’t be any students noticing them right away, but that problem would be addressed tomorrow.
Thus, all the groundwork had been put in place.
There was only one thing left to do: crush Ichinose Honami’s spirit.
After all, it was clear that Sakayanagi would move to crush it herself before long.
Sakayanagi’s strategy was working beautifully, as Ichinose’s string of absences continued even after she was thought to have gotten over her illness.
It was February 18th, the day of the conflict between Class D and Class A.
It had already been five days since her health had taken a turn for the worse, yet Ichinose was still absent from school.
She should’ve already recovered from her illness, but had she managed to overcome the trauma to her spirit?
After learning that she was absent yet again, I decided to get in touch with her.
However, if I attempted to see her after school or during a break, there was a high chance someone would notice.
So I decided to go during the middle of the day on a weekday, when the dorm was mostly empty.
I didn’t contact her by phone ahead of time.
I didn’t intend to give her a way out.
Arriving in front of Ichinose’s room, I rang the doorbell.
“I have something I want to say. Can you come out?”
After a while, a response came from inside.
“I’m sorry Ayanok?ji-kun. You went to the trouble of coming to see me, but would you please come back again sometime later?”
Her voice was lacking ambition, but, as I had thought, it didn’t sound as though she was still suffering from a cold.
“Were those letters that important to you?”
Ichinose didn’t respond to that question.
I sat down with my back to the door.
“Will you be coming to school on Monday?”
“…Sorry. I don’t know.”
With the exception of questions that strike at the heart of the matter, she seemed to be tentatively willing to respond.
“I have some time until lunch break is over. I’ll be staying here for a little while.”
Then, I just continued to sit quietly until the last moment possible.
“Well, I’ll be heading back to school.”
“I… just need a little more time. When I’m a bit more put together, I’ll definitely come to school again. So please, just stop coming…”
After hearing Ichinose’s strained response, I went back to school.
The weekend passed and it was now Monday the 21st. The end-of-year exam was set to begin on Friday of this week.
But, Ichinose still failed to show up at school.
Meanwhile, Kanzaki, Shibata, and her other close friends were attempting to contact her via text message, phone call, and email.
They had been doing this for a while.
Even so, based on the fact that nobody had come to see her after school, she had probably given them all a warning to stay away in the same way I had been.
I slipped away from the school building during lunch break and went to the dorms, where I made another visit to Ichinose’s room.
I knocked gently and called out to her without waiting for a reply.
“I heard you’re taking today off as well?”
She had asked me not to come back anymore, and yet I came anyway. It was a reckless act that ignored her warning.
This time, there was no response from Ichinose.
I didn’t say anything else. I just sat with my back to her door until the end of the lunch break, just like I had done the week before.
The same thing happened on Tuesday. The exposition is no longer necessary.
After confirming that Ichinose was absent yet again, I went to her room.
She wouldn’t be able to hate one of her own classmates, but I was a student in another class. I had nothing to lose, even if she broke off all relations with me. This was the primary reason behind why I was being so aggressive.
There wasn’t much time left before the end-of-year exam.
In this situation, it was possible that these absences would continue even on the day of the exam.
No, even if she showed up on the day of the exam, her classmates would already be suffering from a great deal of stress. It was entirely possible that their scores would suffer from it.
In which case, even if nobody ended up having to drop out, it would still have a large impact on their class points.
It was necessary to have Ichinose come to school on Thursday to bring some peace of mind to the rest of Class B.
Thinking about it this way, the time limit was tomorrow.
In the end, the time limit crept closer. In the blink of an eye, it was already Wednesday.
I gripped a can of coffee I had bought from the convenience store in my hand. It was so cold that I could see my breath in the air.
And today, yet again, I wouldn’t be pressing the matter any further.
It was because Ichinose herself already knew that this was the last day she would be able to stay cooped-up in her room.
She would definitely take action.
I was certain of it.
“February is ending soon. After we overcome next month’s special exam, we’ll officially become second-years. There’s a proverb ‘when the heat has passed, you forget about the shade of trees’, but is that really true?”
The Deserted Island Special Test. The Cruise Ship Special Test. Paper Shuffle. The school had been repeatedly having us undergo peculiar exams one after another.
“When we become second-years, I wonder if the special exams will become even stranger than they are now?”
“…Hey… Can I ask you something…?”
For the first time in a while, Ichinose spoke up, albeit with a quiet voice, as though she was talking to herself.
“Sure. As long as you’re alright with asking through the door, you can ask anything.”
I welcomed her question with open arms, but Ichinose didn’t ask anything right away.
It might have been the first time she’s said anything in the past few days.
“Why haven’t you been saying anything to me, or asking me anything?”
“Meaning?”
“My classmates… My friends in the other classes… Everyone’s been trying to convince me to return to school, telling me: If you have something troubling you, please come and talk to us about it. And yet, Ayanok?ji-kun, you’ve never asked me anything like that, all while coming by to visit me every single day… Why?”
It didn’t seem like she wanted the other students to worry about her.
She couldn’t understand why I was skipping my classes or wasting my lunch break to come and see her every day.
“Compared to someone like me, students who are far more worried about you have already tried to convince you many times now. My human relations are so shallow that if I tried to appeal to you with my emotions, I don’t think it would resonate with you very well.”
I could hear the faint sound of footsteps from within the room.
I had the feeling that she sat with me, the door the only thing between us.
“Maybe, I’ve been coming here every day because I’ve been waiting for you to tell me everything.”
“Waiting for me… to tell you…?”
I decided to step into her personal life for the first time.
“I already know about the crime you’ve committed.”
“…!”
“That being said, I’m still unaware of the bigger picture. Only the part from when Sakayanagi started everything until you took time off school. I already understand how much pressure you’ve been putting on yourself, Ichinose. Though, it’s useless for me to be saying these things now.”
“Why… do you know?”
“That isn’t very important right now. I have no intention of going into the details.”
If Ichinose didn’t want to talk about it, I would simply end the conversation there.
“You’re probably not very good at confiding your troubles in others. You save others, but you can’t save yourself. That’s why I’m here.”
The feelings I had wanted to convey should’ve gradually made their way to Ichinose.
There was a brief silence.
When you want to pour out your feelings, it’s painful when there isn’t anyone you can talk with.
I had seen countless children suffering from this very problem in the White Room.
They eventually broke down and disappeared. A group of people beyond hope of recovery.
“I am your door now. You can’t see my face, and you can’t touch me. I’m just a door. You can let out your weakness to me without anyone laughing at you.”
There was a clunk as I set my can of coffee down on the ground beside me.
“What will you do Ichinose? This is your moment.”
Ichinose Honami’s close friends are modest, quiet people. It’s not hard to imagine that they’ve been trying to offer Ichinose a constant barrage of kindhearted, well-meaning support.
However, that wasn’t going to work. It may be the correct way to go about it for a person trying to support Ichinose, but it was a mistake for someone trying to fix the problem. You had to pressure her to yield with force.
“Even though I’m so pathetic… Is it really okay?”
“Who has the right to deny you of it?”
“A criminal like me… Can I truly be forgiven…”
“Everyone has the right to be forgiven.”
I had reached out to her heart.
The only thing left was to see whether or not Ichinose would respond.
From the other side of the door, Ichinose slowly began to speak.
“I… was a shoplifter. It got difficult during my third year of middle school, and I stopped going to school for half of it. I never consulted with anyone about it. I just blamed myself and shut myself up in my room, just like I’m doing now…”
Ichinose uncovered her wounded heart that she had been frantically trying to keep hidden as she began to say it all.
About what she had done. About the weakness she had been holding within.
How she had only shared all of this with Nagumo. How Sakayanagi had approached her, informing her about the existence of another shoplifter. This was no coincidence. It was clear that Nagumo had told Sakayanagi about her past. Without the chance to even lie about it, she had no choice but to confess to everything.
She had been acting tough, unable to show any sign of weakness.
Confessing your sins. Do you know how terribly difficult of a thing that is?
Many youths, still immature of heart, have shoplifted… no, have sinned in one way or another at least once. However, if this was brought before a large number of people, they would most likely deny any involvement whatsoever. This is natural. After all, it’s terribly difficult to admit to your sins and confess them to the public. Many people persecute sinners in the name of justice. And in return, the sinners know the tragic fate that would befall them, so they hide, continuously holding onto their sins without ever speaking of them. They perpetually play the role of a ‘good person’ as they move on with their lives.
Driven by her guilty conscience, Ichinose spent half a year completely alone.
And after great pains, she was released from her shackles… no, she managed to break free from them.
But it would still follow her for the rest of her life. Haunting her until the very end.
In fact, her conscience was once again standing in her way of moving forward, relentlessly attacking her spirit.
So, she had no choice but to stand up and face it head on.
By the time I had finished hearing everything she had to say, it didn’t matter whether or not lunch break had already ended.
Even when afternoon classes had already begun, I just continued to sit there and listen to her speak.
Listening without any attempt to console, nor reprimand her.
Ichinose sobbed quietly on the other side of the door.
I didn’t offer her a single word of comfort.
Because that would’ve been meaningless to offer her at this point.
Her opponent in all of this had been clear from the very beginning.
Herself. It was all about whether or not she would be able to come to terms with herself.
There aren’t many people who can stand up and face their sins in a true sense.
However, when the time comes that someone can… they’re then able to take the next step toward the future.
This was the entire exchange held between Ichinose and I that took place before she completely opened her heart to her colleagues.
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