Way 5

After that night where I ran from Allen and also Trey. Trey chased me that night and I didn’t meet him again.

Flashback

“Wait Sena!” he caught up to me and grab my hand so I can’t run any further, I tried to remove my hand from his grasp but I can’t be able to. I lost my strength and fell down while he still holding my arm, my tears fell continually.  

“Why?! Why sis you stop me? Look my tears fell! If you just let me run I would not cry! When I was running I did not cry! Do you that if I stop running I’ll cry? I don’t want to cry!”

He remove his grip from my hand, “All right, you can run again. So you think that you can run forever? It’s not bad to cry, remember that you can’t run forever. In the end, you’ll get tired from running. If someone run after you, I hope at least you’ll give him a chance to stop you from running.”

He turned back, he put his hand on his pocket, “Go ahead, you can run again. I won’t follow you nor stop you.“

He left me after that. I don’t why but when he said it I cried more. I did not run again, I was left still kneeling. I look stupid…

In school, I tried to avoid him, it looks like he is also avoiding me because since the didn’t saw each other and two weeks had passed.. He did not text me anymore and in the taekwando club, he’s too formal as if he didn’t know me. If we meet at the corridors, he also didn’t greet me. We are both avoiding from each other. What did I do? And why am I affected of him avoiding? Sometimes I don’t really understand myself.

#5. Meet new people

This is the next note I receive. Sometimes I’m unhappy with this mysterious sender, because what is really his intention? I mean if he want to help, why can’t he meet me? The truth is I really want to know him and talk to him, I want to ask him for advice. I want this notes to be explained more. It’s really hard to just rely with these one liners, they are so vague and ambiguous. Like this one, meet new people? In what sense?

Kate said to me to me that the notes means that maybe I need to meet new people, it means that I socialize to others, from the other school or to the my schoolmates that I don’t know.She also said that maybe the sender of the notes meant that I should date a person I don’t know which clearly means, blind date.

I don’t really approve blind dates, I just hate talking and going out with strangers. That’s why Kate and I are arguing now, she insisted that I should have a blind date to her boyfriend’s cousin.

“I said, I don’t want to. I’m not going out with someone I don’t know!”

“Do it Sena! There’s no harm in trying it you know!” she keeps persuading me to attend the blind date. Because she already said yes, he said to her boyfriend that I agreed to do it. It it right to accept it and make a decision for me? Argh. Sometimes this bestfriend of mine is really irritating, super pushy.”What no harm? What if he’s a rapist? What if he is a psychopath?”

“You’re so OA!” I slightly distance my phone from my ear because she shouted.

“What do you mean OA?! There are possibilities you know! Didn’t your parents thought you when we you are a kid to don’t talk to strangers?!”

“Sena! You’re super paranoid! I assure you that it’s safe and beside you will be meet in a public place where there is a lot of people in the surrounding, if ever that he will do anything to you, shout. Just don’t go to him in a place that is not crowded. Put me in your speed dials if ever you have trouble, I’ll go to you. Please Sena, remember that note said you need to meet new people? This is the chance! You won’t know that maybe your blind date is the one?”

I sighed and give up to Kate’s stubborness, “All right–”

“Yey!” she did not let me finish talking and she celebrate immediately.

“Wait, may conditions!”

“What condition?”

“Don’t tell to whoever my blind date my real name, invent a name. Then don’t give  my picture, just describe what I’m wearing on the day that I will meet him.”

“Eh? Why?”

“For my safety! Because if I meet there and I think that he is not trustworthy or not my type, I can escape by denying to him that I’m not the one he is looking for.”

“Is that so? Okay fine, l’ll invent a name for you. But no backing out okay?”

“Sure, sure.”

—-

Saturday, 2pm in the mall. We discuss that I will wear a ed shirt with a heart design short jeans and converse shoes with a color violet small body bag. But the red shirt I am wearing don’t have a heart design, actually I’m wearing a statement shirt. I wear differently because if ever I see my blind date who wears a blue pants, and green striped shirt, and rubber shoes with a red wrist band with a written ALL STAR. So that I can hide from him or I an deny immediately that I’m his date if ever I don’t like him. I did not bother to ask for his picture, because I”m really not interested in this blind date.

We also agreed to meet at the bench in front of the Kodak in the mall. I think I arrive first because no one is sitting there.

I’m now slight annoyed because he is te minutes late. I said to myself if he is late for thirty minutes I’ll leave. I can only wait for him for thirty minutes. Actually I really don’t want to wait but Kate said that if my blind date is late I should wait until thirty minutes. I can’t do anything but said yes.

But not far from where I am, I was surprise to see Allen. I think he is looking for something or someone while going to my direction, I think he still didn’t notice me because he is busy looking around.

When he look at my direction, he was surprise but he didn’t wave at me nor smile at me, he just went straight to my direction. He sat at the bench where I’m also sitting but there is wide space between us, he sit at the other end.

“Hi.” I was shocked to hear him said it right after he sit. I still didn’t answer because I thought that he is not talking to me.

“Are you talking to me?” I did not turn to him..

“Yeah…” that’s the only thing he said. I did not say another word after that. There was only silence between us. I want to leave and to not wait for my blind date but I promised Kate, she said she get mad at me if I don’t follow our agreement. I will just only wait for 20 minutes, Allen won’t be long right?

Maybe he is waiting for someone, maybe it’s Lala. I don’t know, I shouldn’t be affected by his presence.

“Weird.” I was surprise when he suddenly spoke but I did not say anything because maybe he is not really talking to me, maybe he is just talking to himself.

“Do you know, you are wearing the same thing of the person I am looking for? “

This time I turned to him, confusion is written in my face, “What?”

“Ah nothing,” he just laugh and shake his head, and said, “It’s impossible, unless you name is Sarah.”

“S-sarah?” I don’t know if what I heard is right, Sarah is the name Kate gave to my blind date.

“Your shirt is not heart design,” he suddenly wave his hand, “Ah nothing, nothing. Nevermind.”

Sarah? Then heart design? He is not my blind date right? Even though he is in the same spot at the same time. His name is not James, that’s what the name my blind date gave. Then he is not wearing a green striped shirt, and he is wearing blue but it is not striped! It’s not him! I’m sure.

“Are you waiting for someone?” why is he asking questions?

“No, actually I’m going. I’ll go, bye.” I stand up, I don’t have a good feeling about this that’s why decided to go.

“Okay, bye.” I’m walking away when I heard him talking, I think he is talking to someone in the phone, “Hello James?”

James? The person he is talking on the phone is named James?

“Yeah. She is still not here, she already fifteen minutes late. Are you sure this Sarah will show up? Do you have her number? Ah okay, send it to me, okay bye I’ll call you if I receive her number.”

He put his phone down but just a little while after his phone rings, someone texted him, I think he receive my number. And me, I walk faster, I’m really nervous right now. I think I understand the situation.

*say ok by vanessa hudgens*

♪♪ You are fine, you are sweet

Fine, I’m still a bit naive with my heart

When you’re close, I don’t breathe

I can’t find the words to speak and I feel sparks

But I don’t wanna be into you

If you’re not looking for true love

No, I don’t wanna start seeing you

If I can’t be your only one, so tell me ♪♪

My phone suddenly rings from my pocket, I look at it and look at the screen. An unknown number is calling.

♪♪ When it’s not alright, when it’s not ok

Will you try to make me feel better?

Will you say alright? Will you say ok?

Will you stick with me through whatever

Or run away? ♪♪

From my back I heard him said, “Sarah? Sena?”

This is not happening. He is not my blind date, not my ex-boyfriend. I’m right, this blind date idea is not good.