Cooking with Wild Game (LN) - Volume 17 - Chapter 1.3

3

Thanks to Yamiru Lea and the others being absent, we were shorthanded compared to usual, but since we had plenty of time to spare, we had no issue fitting in the prep work and study session.

At half past the lower fourth hour, I said my farewells to the members of the Ruu clan, then hurried north along the path through the forest’s edge. Once I saw Toor Deen and Yun Sudra home, my work for the day would be finished.

“Today was really wonderful. Thanks for letting me come along, Asuta,” Yun Sudra cheerfully called out.

When I looked back into the wagon, I saw Toor Deen curled up atop a rug. She must have been exhausted from these past few days. After all, no matter how skilled of a chef she might be, she was still just ten years old.

Yun Sudra, meanwhile, had come over to me and was now leaning forward, sticking her head out next to the driver’s seat. Her gray-brown ponytail worn off to the side was swaying, and her blue eyes looked passionate and moist.

“Nah, you shouldn’t be thanking me. Raielfam Sudra was the one who gave you permission.”

“But even still, I have to thank you for letting someone as inexperienced as me accompany you. I’m a little upset that I don’t get to go with you to Dabagg, though...”

“Well, unlike a half-day trip, I’d imagine it’d be a bit tricky to take two whole days off. And it’s not like I’d be able to pay you, so I figure the Sudra clan head’s decision was only natural.”

“But the Deen clan has a similar number of people, yet Toor Deen was permitted to come along. Is my clan head Raielfam just not as sensible as the Deen clan head?”

“I don’t think that’s it at all. His wisdom and decisiveness have saved the Fa clan a number of times now.”

“Then it must be something about me, the reason he won’t let me go. Right?” Yun Sudra asked back, instantly looking downhearted.

Her earnestness was a big part of this girl’s charm, but I had trouble figuring out how to handle her at times like this. On top of that, Reina Ruu had warned me not to be too lenient with her. More and more, I was starting to feel like I was about to fall into a trap of my own design.

“Umm... I don’t think anyone’s at fault here. Everyone has their own work to handle, and we just have to do our best to take care of it, right?”

“Have I caused you trouble, Asuta?”

“No, that’s not really what I meant.”

“I’m sorry. I let my emotions get the better of me and showed you something ugly,” Yun Sudra said with a little sniffle. “I was just thinking how happy it would make me if I could go with you... But it was wrong of me to think that my feelings were all that mattered and to speak ill of my clan head... I’m ashamed of myself...”

“Ah, no, umm...”

“An awful woman like me isn’t good enough to help you with your work, right?” Yun Sudra questioned, leaning farther forward with tears in her eyes.

As I manipulated Gilulu’s reins, a small sigh escaped me.

“It’s not like you need to be incredibly well qualified to help me out. But if you’re sorry for what you said, then all you have to do is decide not to make the same mistake again.”

“Right. I’ll keep that in mind, and try not to forget,” Yun Sudra said, looking completely earnest. It seemed she was trying to take the lesson to heart. While some parts of her were a little out of the norm for a woman of the forest’s edge, at her core she was a wonderful, unrestrained person. And that’s exactly what gave me so much trouble handling her.

“Ah, I can see the Sudra house. A-Are those the Sudra men?”

“Looks like it. They all returned safely again today. I give my thanks to the great kindness of our mother forest...”

As Yun Sudra offered her prayer, we arrived at the Sudra house. There were two giba with their limbs tied to grigee poles being carried by four men. The smallest of them left the group and approached our wagon.

“I see you’ve made it back, Yun. And Asuta. I’m glad to see you looking well.”

“It’s been a while, Raielfam Sudra. Seems like you all made it back early too.”

“Indeed. I believe we succeeded at bloodletting both of them, so it was a great hunt. We’ll be having offal and head stew for dinner again tonight.”

The Sudra clan only had ten or so members, so the innards, brains, and eyeballs from the two giba would be more than enough for a dinner. The Fa clan was always ending up with an excess of innards ourselves, so I had been pondering if I could use them in sausages.

“Well then, I’ll be excusing myself. I look forward to working with you again tomorrow, Asuta,” Yun Sudra said with a polite bow, and then she swiftly departed. She must have been feeling pretty embarrassed about calling her clan head unsensible earlier.

“By the way, how is Li Sudra doing? Ah, I’m not asking because there’s an issue with Yun Sudra or anything like that.”

Raielfam Sudra’s wife Li Sudra was pregnant, so Yun Sudra had taken over her job at the stalls. The younger girl had reached the point where she could handle the work on her own a couple days ago, so I hadn’t seen Li Sudra since then.

“Well, she’s been complaining about food tasting different now, but other than that she hasn’t had any serious issues.”

“Oh, right. I’ve heard that some people will get nauseous just from smelling certain things when they’re pregnant. It sounds pretty difficult, suddenly having trouble eating right when you need all the stamina you can get.”

“Indeed. But in Li’s case, she only seems to be having trouble with the smell of grilling meat and the taste of sugar. She doesn’t have any difficulty eating giba stew without any sugar in it, so I’d say she has it relatively easy,” Raielfam Sudra replied, the wrinkles on his face growing even deeper as his expression shifted. “Asuta, you’ve shown concern for Li day in and day out. I’m truly grateful that you’ve taken such an interest in our Sudra clan despite lacking any ties of blood.”

“I’d say that’s only natural, considering how much I owe your clan.”

“You are a kind, just man, Asuta. I feel proud to call someone like you my friend,” he said, though the look on his wrinkled face seemed to be turning a little harsher. He was earnest and especially eloquent for a man of the forest’s edge, but at times like this it could be difficult to tell what he was feeling. “Well then, I hope you take good care of Yun again tomorrow,” he finished, starting to turn away.

“Hold on,” I called out, hopping down from the driver’s seat.

I didn’t see anyone else around, and Toor Deen was sleeping soundly in the wagon. I figured this was the best chance to speak openly with the Sudra clan head.

“I’d actually like to talk about Yun Sudra with you. She’s doing well with her work in the post town...but why exactly is she so enthusiastic about cooking?”

“Why, you ask? Are you yourself not the one who explained how delicious cooking can bring greater strength to us people of the forest’s edge, Asuta?”

“Yes, that’s certainly true, but by now Yun Sudra is already skilled enough to make delicious meals for her clan and the post town, and yet she still doesn’t seem content.”

Naturally, Reina Ruu, Sheera Ruu, and Toor Deen were passionate about their work and aimed for ever greater heights despite the wonderful skill they already possessed. However, that definitely wasn’t the norm when it came to women of the forest’s edge. That was precisely why they were the ones most shaken by Myme and Varkas’s cooking, I figured. If I was right about that, then I’d guess that Yun Sudra had turned the special feelings she had toward me into passion for her work...though I still wasn’t completely sure that was the whole story.

If her enthusiasm for cooking was free of any ulterior motive, then I would like to help her along as much as I did the others. In order to find out for sure, I needed to hear Raielfam Sudra’s opinion, as someone who knew her better than I ever could.

Starting to look more and more doubtful, the Sudra clan head replied, “Hmm... If you’re asking where her passion comes from, I would have to say it’s out of a desire to have you acknowledge her.”

“But why me? She doesn’t gain anything from my acknowledgment, right?”

“When a woman falls for a man, it doesn’t have anything to do with what there is to be gained.”

“Huh...?”

“She wants to grow to a suitable level of skill to be your bride, I’d say. From that perspective, her passion makes perfect sense.”

For several seconds, I was left at a complete loss for words.

“You really think it’s possible that Yun Sudra wants to marry me?”

“It’s more than just possible. I can’t see it as anything else,” Raielfam Sudra stated, furrowing his brow. “Did you truly not realize, Asuta? That’s...shocking to hear.”

“Y-You managed to notice how she felt, Raielfam Sudra?”

“I did. Actually, I would say that’s why she wanted to help you with your work in the post town to begin with,” he replied with a stern, half-astounded look. “Well, bonds between men and women come down to the forest’s guidance. It would bring our Sudra clan closer to falling if we were to let one of our few unwed women marry into another clan, but I wouldn’t have any issues at all if it were to help save the Fa clan, which we owe a great debt. The Sudra would be very proud to form ties of blood with the Fa.”

“H-Hold on! I don’t have any intention of...”

“Naturally, the final decision rests with you. Let me say here and now that even if you turn down her marriage proposal, it will do nothing to change the friendship shared between our clans,” Raielfam Sudra formally stated with a nod.

However, I was still left feeling all out of sorts.

“Th-Then I shouldn’t keep asking Yun Sudra to help out with work, right? If I have no intention of taking her as a wife...”

“Yun has yet to bring up the matter with me. Until she does and we make the marriage request official, you have nothing to worry about.”

“No, but...”

“Yun only just turned fifteen. You should take your time to carefully decide whether or not she would make a proper bride.”

His words were what I’d expect from the earnest people of the forest’s edge. It seemed that I needed to express myself just as clearly.

“Raielfam Sudra, my decision has already been made. I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t take her as a bride. If that’s what she’s aiming for, wouldn’t it be best to distance ourselves now?”

“I see,” the Sudra clan head replied, his expression shifting. “So you’ve already fallen for another woman, Asuta? Then you should go ahead and let Yun know that.”

“N-No, that’s not it! I don’t intend to marry anyone.”

“What are you saying...? If you won’t take a bride, doesn’t that mean your bloodline will end with you?” Raielfam Sudra’s small eyes were filled with pure doubt and confusion.

As I met his gaze head on, I strengthened my resolve. “That’s the reason I’m not going to get married. I don’t think I should take a bride and leave behind kids here in this land.”

“I understand even less now... You’re prepared to live out your life at the forest’s edge, correct? Otherwise, you never would have been permitted to become one of our people.”

“That’s what I want to do, yes. But there are issues that I can’t do anything about.”

After that, I ended up telling Raielfam Sudra everything, all about my true background, as ridiculous as it was. About how I had lived in a world where the four great kingdoms didn’t exist. And how I’d died, only to wake up on the ground somewhere in the Morga forest’s edge, where Ai Fa had rescued me.

Even I had no clue how my life had taken such an incomprehensible turn. It was possible I could disappear from this world too, without any warning. Because of that, it seemed irresponsible for me to take a wife and have children...

Raielfam Sudra listened to my whole crazy confession, not interjecting even once.

“It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? That’s why I haven’t told anyone but Ai Fa.”

“Hmm...” Raielfam Sudra pondered. “That certainly is a shocking tale... It’s difficult for me to wrap my head around it.”

“Well, I don’t even understand it at all myself, so that’s only natural.”

“But even so, you decided to live as a person of the forest’s edge, didn’t you, Asuta? If nothing else, considering you died in your old world, I can’t imagine you would be able to return there.”

“Right. That’s what I thought, and that’s why I resolved to live as a man of the forest’s edge.”

“Then you really are one of us, and the rest of it doesn’t matter,” Raielfam Sudra said in a firm tone, taking a step closer to me. “If you were a citizen of Sym, or Jagar, or even Mahyudra, or if you were from overseas, none of that would be important. You decided to live as a person of the forest’s edge, and earned the acknowledgment of Ai Fa and the leading clan heads. We have no reason to be dissatisfied with you, or to consider your presence inconvenient.”

“Then you believe my story?”

“At the very least, you’re not the sort of person to lie to me. Perhaps you hit your head and confused some dream or illusion for reality, but that doesn’t matter either way,” Raielfam Sudra answered, with a look that almost made him seem angry. However, he definitely wasn’t mad. This was him directly confronting me in all aspects of who I am. “No matter what your background may be, to those of us who live here at the forest’s edge, you’re a comrade. You feel that way and so do we, so there’s no issue to be had.”

“Thank you, Raielfam Sudra...” I said, feeling like I was about to start tearing up.

As the Sudra clan head stared back at me, he added, “However, there is one matter I cannot accept.”

“Huh?”

“You should leave behind children in this land, Asuta. If you are going to live as a person of the forest’s edge, then you should know this is a responsibility and a joy granted equally to all of us,” he declared in a perfectly level tone. “The possibility that you may vanish at some point is no excuse at all. A great many of us would mourn your disappearance, but the wife and children you left behind would never be treated poorly. You brought our people such great strength and joy. Your relatives would be just as precious to everyone here. So I don’t believe you need to worry about that.”

“O-Of course. But when I think about how the wife and kids I leave behind would feel...”

“If you don’t want to suffer the pain of loss, then your only option would be to spend your whole life with no attachments at all. We could perish out in the forest at any time. But even so, or perhaps for that very reason, it’s all the more important to take a partner and leave behind children, wouldn’t you agree?” Raielfam Sudra’s body, which was noticeably smaller than mine, was brimming with the spirit of a hunter of the forest’s edge. It was as if he was gearing up to fight back against fate itself. “If that is your fear, then you never should have formed bonds with anyone to begin with. After all, your relatives are not the only ones who would suffer if you were to disappear. Our Sudra clan, the Ruu, the Fou, and countless others would be stricken with grief. With that in mind, do you feel you shouldn’t have formed bonds with us to start with, Asuta?”

“No, of course I don’t think that.”

“Indeed. And we would never regret having met you because we fear such pain. As long as we exist in this world, everyone should live the lives granted to them to their fullest,” Raielfam Sudra stated, giving me a hearty jab to the chest. However, his fist didn’t seem to be full of anger, but rather a strong desire to reprimand me. “So stop worrying about it and start thinking about taking a wife here at the forest’s edge and having some children. Whether that’s Yun or not, it would be a joyous occasion for our Sudra clan.”

“Thank you. Just hearing you say that makes me so happy that I find it hard to express.”

That was how I truly felt, from the depths of my heart. But now that things had come this far, there was still one more matter I had to open up about. The other half of why I couldn’t take a bride.

“What, there’s still something else you need to confess?”

“Yeah, well, this is a bit complicated too, but...even setting aside the fact that I could disappear at any moment, I can’t see myself falling for any woman,” I said as I felt heat rush to my cheeks. I had never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would ever be bringing this matter up to anyone else. Now, however, I needed to explain myself. This wasn’t like with Vina and Reina Ruu. At this rate, I would eventually be facing an official marriage proposal from the Sudra clan. I couldn’t just keep waiting for that day to arrive without saying anything about how I really felt.

“Then is there someone you have feelings for after all? But if you don’t intend to marry anyone, that sounds like it must be rather troublesome.”

“To be honest, it’s more that we’ve got an agreement of sorts to keep it from being a problem...”

“I don’t understand what you mean at all. If you have someone you love, then you should go ahead and propose to her. I can’t imagine many women at the forest’s edge would refuse nowadays.”

“No, it’s that she has no intention of marrying anyone either.”

Raielfam Sudra had been wearing a rather serious look, but suddenly his eyes shot open wide. My face went so red that he couldn’t possibly miss it. I seriously wanted to curl up and die.

“There’s only one woman here at the forest’s edge with no intent to marry... Well, no, there actually seems to be a second one who thinks that way now, but I can’t imagine you would have those feelings for a girl you only met recently, right?”

“Ah, yeah, it’s not her.”

“In that case...I’d say you’ve fallen for the trickiest target possible here at the forest’s edge.” Raielfam Sudra’s already deeply wrinkled face scrunched up even further. And yet, he seemed to be a much more decisive person than I was. “As I see it, you have just two paths forward to choose from. Either you change how she feels, or you give up.”

“Right... But I also want to respect her feelings above all else.”

“Then you have no option but to give up.” He certainly cut right to the chase. “At any rate, the Fa clan consists of only you and your clan head. If Ai Fa has decided to live as a hunter, the only option left is for you to take a bride. Then the Fa clan could continue on, leaving its bloodline behind.”

“Ah, but...”

“Despite being a woman, the Fa clan head is an outstanding hunter. Being as skilled as she is, it is permissible for her to cast aside her life as a woman. But you man the stove, Asuta. It would be a simple matter for you to marry and have children while still carrying out your work; thus, you should leave behind your bloodline here at the forest’s edge,” Raielfam Sudra stated, finally taking a step back. “There’s no need to rush. But you should think anew about where your proper path forward lies, and make a decision. Until then, I ask that you keep using Yun’s services as you have up till now.”

I couldn’t think of a way to object to that. After all, he was surely in the right as a person of the forest’s edge.

After observing the look on my face for a bit, Raielfam Sudra turned away. “Well then, I’ll be praying that your heart will find its answer as soon as possible, Asuta.”

“Thank you...”

With a crunching sound as he went, Raielfam Sudra walked off toward the house. But his small figure only made it a few steps before he came to a sudden stop.

“Now that I think about it, you said before that I was the only one other than the Fa clan head you’ve told that strange story to, didn’t you?”

“Huh? Yeah, that’s right. You and Ai Fa are the only ones I’ve given the complete story to, with all the details.”

“You haven’t even told Donda Ruu or Gazraan Rutim?”

“No, I haven’t. Should I open up to everyone after all?”

“I don’t think so. Hearing it won’t change anyone’s mind about you. And what’s important isn’t the past, but the present and future. So there’s no need to answer questions that are not being asked,” Raielfam Sudra said, glancing back my way. “But with that said...I’m incredibly honored to have heard your tale before the Ruu and Rutim, whom you have such deep ties to. I am glad that you opened up to me, Asuta.”

“Yeah...” was all I could think of to reply. Personally, I had felt that I needed to meet Raielfam Sudra’s earnestness and sincerity in kind.

“And I would find great joy if you were to take a bride, regardless of who it may be. Those words were no lie. Even if it is not Yun, but some woman from the Ruu, Rutim, or Fou clans...or even a stubborn female hunter who refuses to take a husband.”

“Huh?”

“I truly wish for you to have the best bride possible for you. Please don’t forget that, if nothing else... But, well, at the rate you’re going, I’d imagine you’ll end up marrying rather late,” the Sudra clan head stated with his typical bluntness, showing a bashful smile right at the end.