The Obligatory Virtual Reality (Part 1)
Beside the castle town of Pinckney, located on the outskirts of the Holy Kingdom of Laboon, there was a forest. As a place infested with malevolent beings, it had been called the Twilight Forest since times primeval. The sole source of illumination in the untracked brush was dark amber sunlight, which cast everything there in a perpetual state of ominous dusk. Even when merchants had to import valuable trade goods from the east, they avoided the region for fear of demon attacks. Those fools who did set foot there typically fell prey to the cruel weapons and terrible curses of the region’s dark denizens.
A particular party was currently braving that forest.
“Okay, guys! Let’s do our best! (^^)” said the party leader, Zama the Sorcerer, to his three companions. He added a standard emoji at the end of his statement.
“k lol,” responded the heavily armored knight who served as their tank. He was dressed in ornate black plate mail that glowed with a faint gold light—an extremely rare item that could only be forged by bringing large amounts of a material only acquirable in extremely difficult quests to a skilled blacksmith and paying a whole lot of money. It granted its wearer unparalleled defense in exchange for a slight reduction in attack power.
“kk. I’ll try not to die, lmao,” said the monk, a DPS (damage per second) specialist. He wore black gloves that radiated dark flames—powerful magical weapons that could only be obtained by beating Ticon and Deroga, two wild fire elementals hiding in an infamous dungeon in the continent’s eastern region called the Cave of Carmay.
“Okaaaaay!☆ Leave the heals and buffs to me! (^^)b” said the cleric girl, who received her holy power from the Earth Goddess Millias. She spun around and thrust her crystal staff to the sky. The staff, which had the ability to boost the user’s mana (their intelligence and willpower) glowed with a blinding light as it unleashed a support spell on the other adventurers in her party.
Attack, defense, movement, HP regen, special attack resistance, poison resistance—mystical symbols representing each measure appeared in a ring in the sky above, then affixed themselves to the party members’ bodies. These buffs represented a major boost to the party’s combat potential.
“Okay, all ready! ^^” the girl said.
The adventurers offered their thanks in return.
“Nice ^^”
“got buff ^^”
“buffzzzzz lol,” said the armored knight, falling to one knee in a pose of gratitude toward the girl.
“You’re welcome. I know it’s not much ^^” she said. “I’m pretty low-level, so my spells aren’t great. I just hope I’m not too disappointing...”
“Don’t talk like that! ><” the knight said.
“Without you, Cia, we’d have been dead way before we got here lol,” said the monk.
Zama the Sorcerer did a quick check of his party’s stats. “Yeah, they’re right,” he told her. To be frank, he could have easily cleared this dungeon himself, but boasting about that at a time like this would be to no one’s benefit. “There’s lots of coordinating mobs in this region, so even high-level parties can get wiped out without a devoted healer.”
“R-Really? ;~;” The cleric girl shrank back a little, apparently feeling the pressure.
“Hey, you’ll be okay. I’ll cover for you if things get hairy. Just have fun, like you’ve been doing ^^” Zama said.
“Okay ^^” The girl smiled and tilted her head. Then she added, “But let me know if things are looking bad. I’m pretty slow about stuff like that ^^;”
Though they were all preprogrammed poses, the cleric girl, Cia, had very docile and cute mannerisms. She had a soft, girlish silhouette and kind, down-sloping eyes, with wavy blonde hair done back in a neat braid.
“Okay, lets go.” Zama was so captivated by Cia that he accidentally made a typo. “*let’s ;~;” he added.
“Ahaha lol,” the cleric girl laughed merrily.
The four thus ventured forth into the Twilight Forest.
Zama had no problem covering for the inexperienced Cia. He first cast a defensive spell, then employed carefully timed AOE attack spells to shave down the enemy’s HP, making his allies’ jobs easier. Cia was being chased around by an enemy and didn’t seem to know what to do, so he sniped it with Arrow of Light, a basic single-target spell. This caused the large monster to shift its attention from Cia to Zama and charge him instead. Zama followed up with a wind spell that slowed its target down, followed by another Arrow of Light to finish it off. It let out a death cry as it burst into pieces.
“Thanks for the save! ><” Cia said.
“No problem.” Normally, it would be the tank’s job to draw aggro like that, but the knight was focused on other enemies and hadn’t noticed Cia’s predicament.
“You’re so reliable, Zama-san. ^^ You move so quickly and beat strong enemies so easily...”
It was an easy job for the relatively famous Zama the Sorcerer, but he still enjoyed the praise. “You’ll get a sense for it too, Cia-san, if you play long enough.”
“Really? I’ll try my best!” The young cleric giggled as she did a little dance. It was another unbelievably cute gesture.
Technically, Zama could have made his own character with Cia’s same appearance, and there were many others in the game that looked just like her. But for some reason, he couldn’t help but see her as the most beautiful girl in this world, created in some special way.
Stop that, Zama told himself. This is a game. It’s not real life. If you can’t keep the game and IRL separate, you’ll end up looking like a total creep. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop himself feeling attracted to Cia.
Then they were attacked again. It wasn’t just monsters this time, though. Now, the majority of their enemies were humanoids wielding powerful armor and weapons. Several of them were even fellow player characters—the most powerful, intelligent, and unpredictable enemies in the game.
This game, which had several thousand people logged in at any given time, gave players the option to attack and kill other players. Doing this allowed them to steal weapons, armor, and gold from the defeated players, and even take them prisoner. And indeed, this new attack came from this most hated class of players, the PKs—player killers!
“Crap,” said Zama. There had been no time to warn the others before a paralysis spell hit the party from an unexpected direction, immediately rendering their two melee fighters helpless. Only Cia could cast paralysis recovery spells, but she was new to the game and still learning the controls.
“Calm down! Call up the menu and select healing spells, then ‘Anti-Paralysis.’ Got it? Select that and—” Via a masterful use of keyboard shortcuts, Zama tried to protect his party while also offering advice. But the attacks were unrelenting.
“Pointless, pointless, pointless!” A sorceress in a bondage-style outfit declared, cackling as she appeared out of a fading explosion. One would be forced to admire her physique, were it not just a CGI creation. “Before the might of Demon Queen Yoko, your scrub characters are like patrolmen before a police chief! I’m taking that little girl to relieve my stress about my paperwork!” Yoko, who styled herself the Demon Queen, used multiple casts of the high-level spell Geas to render Cia helpless.
“Ohh... Zama-san,” Cia wailed, “I can’t move. Please help me!”
“Cia?!” he exclaimed. “Dammit, not so fast!” With no time to waste, Zama picked his most powerful item and unleashed a single-cast spell on the enemy. The accompanying effect was impressive—light and fire rushed past, and the enemy’s HP took a huge hit.
“Ha... ha ha ha! Not bad, Zama the Gale! You’re just as the rumors say! However...” The monsters and PKs serving Yoko formed ranks and pressed in on the paralyzed Cia. “If you focus too much on me, your precious girlfriend will die! Death means losing all your equipment as well as a whole bunch of levels! Do you think some newb player girl has the guts to come back from that?!”
“No, please! Please help me, Zama!” Cia cried for aid.
But Zama didn’t have time to both save her and defeat Yoko. Maintaining his defense spell while shaving down the numbers of the enemy monsters and trying to hold off Yoko was taking everything he had. “Cia, hang in there a bit longer! I—”
“Gotcha!”
“No... gwaaaaah!”
Yoko cast her ultimate spell, Daisy Cutter, on Zama.
“Zama-saaaan?!”
A huge explosion washed over them, and Zama’s HP hit zero. Thanks to the Replacement Doll he’d equipped just in case, he avoided true death, but he was still blown to his respawn point in the distant city.
He quickly regrouped and hurried back to the location of the ambush, but only found his two dead warrior-type companions. Their equipment had been stolen, and Cia was nowhere to be seen. Due to the harsh penalties incurred by character death—for about two hours after death, you couldn’t chat with other players (except for clerics like Cia and a class called “medium”)—he couldn’t even ask them what had happened. But Zama knew nevertheless.
His beloved Cia had been taken by Yoko, the PK sorceress.
●
Kazama Shinji had never been the particularly energetic type, but he seemed especially despondent today. Behind his glasses, dark circles could be seen under his eyes. Even when his friends in the classroom greeted him, he didn’t seem to notice. And from time to time... every three minutes or so, he let out a deep sigh.
Even the typically dense-as-a-brick Sagara Sousuke seemed pained by the sight, and approached him during lunch break to ask how he was doing. “Kazama. Is something the matter?” he asked.
“Yeah, kinda...” Shinji responded dejectedly. “Some bad guys took my girlfriend.”
“A kidnapping?”
“Yeah. Something like that.”
“That’s very serious,” Sousuke observed. “Did the kidnappers make any demands? If you have something to go on, we can raid their hideout and mount a rescue—”
“Kazama-kun has a girlfriend?!” said Chidori Kaname, interrupting Sousuke to burst into the conversation. She leaned forward, not even trying to hide her surprise. “Are you serious?! Um, I mean, I don’t mean it like that... You’re just always so timid! When did this happen? And who is she?! Er...” Suddenly noticing Sousuke and Shinji scowling at her, she tried to tone it down a bit and forced things back to the subject at hand. “Um, but... you said she was kidnapped? Have you told the police? I’m honestly impressed you’re even coming to school after something like that...”
Shinji slumped over a little. “Well... actually... she was kidnapped in a video game.”
“A video game?” Kaname and Sousuke said in unison.
“Ever heard of Dragon Online? It’s an online role-playing game for PC. It’s got a user base of tens of thousands.”
“Ahh. An RPG...” The only RPG Kaname had ever played was Dragon Quest in the SNES era, so she just nodded along cluelessly.
Sousuke, meanwhile, tilted his head as if he’d just heard a string of extremely technical military jargon. “I don’t understand.”
“You know. You step into the shoes of a character in a fantasy world, go on adventures, buy and sell stuff, and build up a party,” Shinji tried to explain. “That kind of game. People from all over Japan, and sometimes even abroad, play it. And this particular game is an especially permissive entry in the genre... You can fight other players, create your own fortresses and mazes, tame monsters... anything you can think of. It’s really popular.”
“Aha... And your girlfriend is inside this game?” Sousuke asked.
“Well... yeah. Something like that.”
Kaname smiled in relief. “Oh, ha ha. You shouldn’t get so worked up about it, then.”
Shinji scowled at her. “This is no laughing matter. In exchange for the freedom the game grants you, it’s also a really harsh mistress. Even more than UO.”
“You owe?”
“Oh, never mind. Point is, if you die in Dragon Online, it’s pretty much over. Trying to build back up from scratch comes with serious penalties. And if you’re captured by the enemy and they lock you in a specially made Soul Prison, you’re just trapped!”
“Why not just reset, then?”
“You can’t! Your character’s status is saved after every action you take, and the data’s stored on their server. They do it to prevent cheating. So you’ve got to get out on your own or have someone else save you.”
“So if someone gets trapped like that, they just can’t play at all?” asked Kaname.
“Yeah. You can end up wasting all the time you’ve put into the game. It does add to the sense of stakes, but...” Shinji sighed for the umpteenth time that day. “It also causes lots of people to quit the game.”
“Right. So the girl you like got kidnapped and locked up, and doesn’t want to play anymore?”
“No, apparently she still wants to. She messaged me to say she was waiting for me. She really believes I’ll come to save her, I think.” A true sense of longing infused Shinji’s words.
“So go save her already,” Sousuke prompted him. “You shouldn’t waste time coming to class.”
“I don’t think it’s quite that serious...” Kaname muttered in response.
“I’m trying! I spent all night trying to breach the enemy base. I’m even skipping classes to build up my character on a laptop. But it’s no use,” Shinji protested. “That sorceress, Yoko, is really powerful. I’d heard the rumors before, but... even my allies in the game told me I should give it up.”
“So, you have no more comrades?”
“Yeah. And there’s no way I can save her all on my own.”
“We’ll help you, then,” Sousuke said.
“R-Really?” Shinji looked up at him.
Kaname winced. “Um... We? Did you say ‘we’? I don’t even know how games like that work,” she pointed out. “And you’ve never even played one, Sousuke.”
“I do have some experience with video games,” Sousuke said in self-defense.
“R-Really?”
“Affirmative. And I’m the most skilled in my squadron, if I do say so myself,” Sousuke said with a curious confidence.
Kaname stayed back for a while, not taking part in the game at all—until one lazy evening off, she remembered that they were playing and booted up her computer on a whim. Nowadays, you could buy a PC with pretty good specs for about the same price as the consoles of years past, and Kaname had a desktop PC she’d gotten from relatives to celebrate her entry into high school. She mainly used it for browsing and sending the occasional email, but she’d told Shinji her specs, and he’d said they would be enough to run the game.
Still, I wonder if it’ll really work, thought Kaname. She had no experience with such games, after all. Nevertheless, she accessed the homepage of Dragon Online that Shinji had given her, downloaded the game’s software, and followed the instructions on the homepage to install it. She then waited about a minute as the install completed and her 3D drivers updated. Lines of English text appeared, but Kaname, who had lived in the USA, just skimmed through it and clicked ‘OK.” She then rebooted her computer and started up the game.
But the first message she saw read, To begin playing, you must pay the monthly fee.
“Yeah, guess you have to pay after all...” She took out a gift card Shinji had given her at school and punched in the code written on it. Shinji had nobly paid out of pocket for monthly fee vouchers for all of them.
Once authenticated, she was instructed to enter her name and address. She was creeped out by the idea of some random company having her personal information, so she filled in a random fake name and address. Once these were accepted, she waited a good four or five seconds, and then...
The logo for Dragon Online appeared. A grand full orchestra BGM played.
“Huh...” She hadn’t expected the graphics and sound quality to be this good.
Kaname then went about creating her character, and put in her own specs without thinking about it too hard: gender female, age sixteen. Class came next. After a good deal of thinking, Kaname picked Warrior, which seemed like the simplest class; she just had to charge in close and mash the attack button. There seemed to be a few specific sub-classes of Warrior, but she didn’t understand what they meant, so she chose a random one.
“There... Hmm?”
Her avatar was showing an awful lot of skin. She wore a cape, but her miniskirt left her belly button and thighs on full display. The hairstyle looked a bit like Kaname’s as well, as did the face. Wouldn’t fighting in close-quarters in this outfit leave me open to grievous injury? she thought, but dismissed it as a sales tactic. The avatar, carrying a rapier and small shield, continued to spin around on the screen. Kaname gazed at it for a while, hummed to herself, then said, “Well, whatever,” and pressed confirm. She’d learn much later that she could’ve changed her character’s appearance, but hadn’t realized that at the time.
As she attempted to complete the character creation, though, a new message came up. You have not entered a name. “Oh, forgot that,” she mumbled. “Let’s see...”
Kaname spent the longest time on this one. She didn’t really care, but found herself really thinking it over. What about KEY, based on my name? Or the name of my favorite singer, BROWN? Or my favorite baseball player, ICHIRO? Or SABA, the fish I ate for dinner earlier? Oh, Maruzen Mart’s big sale is tomorrow. How about MARUZEN? Oh, I just remembered I’m out of cleaner for the tub... MAGICLIN? I’m out of TABASCO, too. And I’ve gotta buy TOILET PAPER soon... Hmm... She punched in and erased a few random names, then pressed the enter key on a whim.
“Ah...” On the final display screen she saw the large letters, WAIZ. Apparently it had given her a random name for some reason. “Waiz, huh...” She was sick of stewing over names, so she decided to go with it. She clicked the final confirmation button and entered the virtual world.
What she didn’t realize at the time was that “Waiz” was the god that her character served. The actual name of her character was written under it in small letters... but Kaname didn’t even notice it.
And thus, the adventures of the beautiful swordswoman TOILET PAPER began.
●
She was standing in a town square, surrounded by stone buildings. There was a fountain at the center, presided over by the statue of a beautiful goddess holding an urn. The sky above her was as blue as could be, with trails of clouds drifting leftward.
She heard the song of the birds, the trickle of water in the fountain, the commotion of people coming and going in the plaza, the sound of hymns from a distant church... Smoke rose up from a blacksmith shop facing the plaza, and a house nearby had their laundry on a line, swaying in the breeze (it was on a regular movement cycle, if you watched long enough). It looked like an old European city, the kind you saw in movies and travel shows. It was a surprisingly immersive experience.
“Let’s see...”
Shinji had said there was an inn nearby called the Arleigh Burke. Shinji was a regular there and it was the first place he went whenever he stopped in the city of Pinckney. She didn’t know where the inn was, though, and it was a very big city...
Kaname pulled out her map, but the parchment was almost entirely blank. Apparently she had to walk around and map the place herself.
Should I ask someone? she wondered. There were lots of people around her in the plaza—male and female warriors like her, as well as sorcerers, summoners, clerics, monks, and rangers. She could also see merchants and farmers, curiously dressed foreign travelers, and demihumans with animal horns and tails. These all looked very realistic as well, aside from the fact that their names and levels were hovering over their heads.
“Um, excuse me?” Kaname asked a short demihuman girl who was standing in front of the fountain looking bored. Above her head was the name Mazzle. She had cat ears and carried a cute wand.
“Ya? ^^” Mazzle asked.
“I hear there’s an inn nearby called Arleigh Burke. Do you know it?”
“Toilet paper? lol.”
“Huh? No, it’s called ‘Arleigh Burke.’”
“Nya ha ha. I think it’s that way,” said Mazzle, pointing west with her wand. “It’s a PC-run place, right? That stuff is all over there. If you get lost, just ask someone else. ^^”
“Thanks,” Kaname said, then left the plaza. The flagstone path took her into a market lined with open-air stalls carrying countless goods for sale. Foodstuffs, weapons, armor, clothing, dry goods... even cooking utensils, building materials, books and flowers were available for purchase.
Amazing, she thought. You can really buy anything. It was an amusing atmosphere as well. Hustling and gossip, attempts at recruiting party members, info on dangerous regions of the world, and get-rich-quick schemes flew back and forth around her (though chatter about the latest Giants-Yakult game or the previous night’s anime detracted from the atmosphere somewhat).
There were also some more unsettling discussions.
“Did you hear? The strongest party in Stout got wiped out.”
“In the Twilight Forest? It’s gotta be Sorceress Yoko, right?”
“It’s gotta be. That witch is amassing a whole lotta power. Soon she’s gonna have a dark army powerful enough to take over the kingdom.”
“Yeah. Some of her men are even showing themselves in the Wastes of Ramage.”
“Scary. What are the Holy Royal Knights even doing?”
“You can’t count on them. They’re just kids playing hero. They can’t beat Yoko-tan, lmao.”
“Yeah, lol.”
“Evil Queen Yoko rules. Ha ha. Wish she’d step on me...”
That was a common topic in the square—it sounded like some kind of powerful witch was threatening the peace of the city.
But Kaname still couldn’t find the inn she was after. She tried asking more passersby where the Arleigh Burke was, for some reason, the first response she got each time was “Toilet Paper?”
“No, it’s called the ‘Arleigh Burke.’”
“lol that way.”
She’d been seeing a lot of ‘lol’ lately and didn’t understand what it meant. She would learn later that it stood for ‘laughing out loud.’
Eventually, Kaname found the inn she was after tucked away in the city’s winding back alleys. The sign hanging from the eaves featured an intricate design that read, “Arleigh Burke.”
“Finally here,” she muttered.
Incidentally, Sousuke’s unreliable pledge of aid had come a few weeks earlier, and in the meantime, Shinji had apparently tried to recruit other friends and acquaintances to help. She didn’t know who had ended up agreeing, but she’d heard a few of them had already started playing. Either way, she figured that if she came here, she’d have to run into someone she knew.
“Hello,” she called as she passed through the door. The inn’s first floor was a tavern, a dimly lit place with few people around.
There was a sorcerer in a black robe seated at the table. Above his head was the name Zama. His level was 99, the highest possible for the game. Compared to Kaname, he was a super-elite.
“Can I help you?” the sorcerer said languidly. He had sleek black hair and glasses that gave him an intellectual look. His form cast deep shadows from the light streaming in through the window. Beside him leaned a large staff with the head of a dragon, which looked like it had to be a very powerful artifact.
“Is this the Arleigh Burke?”
There was a long silence. The sorcerer let out a sigh, then said, “Yes. But it’s no place for newcomers. It’s existed since the early days of the game. It’s for veterans who’ve been through the worst the game can throw at you.”
“Um, but—”
“Don’t you get it? I’m telling you to leave.”
Kaname was struggling to figure out what to say when the bartender, polishing dishes behind the counter, spoke up. “Sorry about him, miss. He’s in a bad mood. Not only did the self-styled Demon Queen Yoko steal his girlfriend, but the party members he recruited to save her have all been completely useless.”
“Lay off,” Zama muttered.
“Oh, calm down,” the bartender retorted. “Anyway, sorry he’s in a bad mood, honey, but beginners belong at the guild office in the first district in the south.”
“Um, but—”
“Get a clue already.” The sorcerer burst out of his seat, staff in hand. “Did you know you can even PK in town here in DO? And there’s lots of ways to get away with it. I know how to throw off the guards. You want to try me?”
It might have been an empty threat, but Kaname was already at the end of her rope, so she struggled to explain. “S-Sorry. But a friend of mine from school told me to come here...”
Here, the sorcerer stayed his aggression. “Would your school be Jindai High?”
“Um, yes?”
“Who are you?”
“Um, my name’s Chidori. We’re classmates...”
The sorcerer suddenly froze up. His sprite remained expressionless, but he seemed somehow panicked.
“Um? What’s wrong?” she asked.
The sorcerer responded, still expressionless, “Sorry, Chidori-san. I didn’t think anyone else was coming, and you didn’t seem especially interested... I was even feeling kind of bad about forcing that gift card on you. Um...”
“Kazama-kun?”
“Um, yeah, that’s me. Normally, I’m really nice to new players. But I’ve had so much bad luck lately... I told you the story, right? And everyone from school did come, but then they all ran off. No one will help me. So, I was kind of sulking... I mean it! Back me up here?!” Zama the Sorcerer, AKA Kazama Shinji, turned to the tavern master for help.
The tavern master responded, “lol.”
“Zama the Sorcerer” then went on to explain the situation. The Jindai collective had started out earnestly trying to level up to brave the Twilight Forest, but after being ambushed and routed countless times by enemies, they’d begun to get opinionated—and their overriding opinion happened to be, “This isn’t happening. Just give up already.” In other words, the same advice his veteran comrades had given. They seemed to be getting sick of grinding, too, and Shinji himself was hesitant to force them. He’d decided that if they weren’t passionate about his cause, they wouldn’t be any help anyway.
“Maybe it was an unreasonable thing to ask from the start,” he said, hanging his head. “But I can’t beat that woman, Sorceress Yoko, by myself. I need at least two strong fighter-types and a high-level cleric. Yoko’s got a lot of strong PKs on her side.”
“Hmm...”
“I don’t have anything against people playing villains,” he went on. “The freedom to do that is one of the game’s strong points, and I’ve had a lot of fun with people like that in the past. But...” Shinji fell silent for a while. “Yoko just really sucks. Conspiring to go after beginners and steal their fun is awful. I mean, if you keep new people from joining the game forever, the whole thing is just going to end up dying...”
“Is that how it works?”
“Yeah. All kinds of people come to games like this. Most of them are nice, but you sometimes get someone with a really twisted personality. They bully players who are trying to level up and earn money in the limited time they have, and enjoy watching them get mad and disillusioned.”
“Sounds like the kind of person who likes making crank calls,” Kaname commented.
“Yeah, kind of. They look down on your average player, saying if you get mad because you got PKed it’s because you take the game too seriously. But games like this have a social element—there’s real people with real feelings on the other side of the screen, so it’s really not just a game,” Shinji insisted. “It’s the PKs who take the game too seriously anyway. They don’t have any sympathy for strangers, and when they see someone in trouble they’ll just say, ‘u suck’ or something. It’s like they don’t even have basic empathy. It really grosses me out.”
“Oh.”
“I mean, it’s kind of like those old fighting gamers from a while back,” said Shinji. “They’d scout out locations where new games were being tested and got really good at them. Then, when they’d see a regular person at the local arcade trying to play it for the first time, putting in their hundred yen coin and looking at the instruction card while struggling to learn the controls, they’d charge in and beat them up. They’d just say ‘get good, scrub,’ and make the person feel like there was no point in trying. Then that person would leave the arcade and never come back. It’s why fighting games aren’t as popular as they used to be. Game companies tried to make games that would appeal to beginners, but it was too late by then—potential new players had already stopped coming to arcades. We’re starting to see the same thing happen in the online game world, too. Though it might be too late already...”
“You know a lot about it, Kazama-kun.” Kaname, who’d been listening attentively, had left the computer to get a glass of milk tea while Shinji was going on with his long explanation. “By the way,” she said, changing the subject so she didn’t have to hear any more about the last one, “where’s Sousuke? He said he’d play, right?”
“I don’t know where Sagara-kun is. He died early on in our first adventure, then said he’d come back later. I haven’t seen him since. He won’t respond to any chats I send him, so I’ll bet he gave up too.”
“What’s up with that? He said he was good at video games.”
“Oh, that was a mistake, lol,” Shinji said with a laugh. “As we headed out on our adventure, he said, ‘So, when do the blocks appear?’”
“Huh?”
“He thought it was a falling block game, I think.”
Like Tetris or Columns... The kinds of games that soldiers on the front lines played while killing time. Kaname decided she’d smack Sousuke upside the head for that the next time she saw him.
“Anyway, that’s the story. I’m on the verge of giving up myself. Though I feel a little bad about it now that you’ve come out of your way.”
“But what about your girlfriend?”
“Yeah... Well, she’s waiting for me to save her, but I don’t see how I can. After I pack up for the night, I’m gonna send her an apology email, ask her to give up on her character, and start over.”
“I see...” Though they were having the conversation in text, Kaname sensed a sad note in Shinji’s words.
“Chidori-san, as long as you’re here, do you want to play for a bit? I know some places you can go to level up. I’ll help you. It’ll be fun.”
It would be a shame to give up after just wandering around town for a bit, she decided. “Sure, I’ll take that offer,” Kaname said, and began preparing for her adventure with Shinji.
Shinji and Kaname soon left the city of Pinckney and began to walk down the main road toward the Ramage Plains. She’d heard it was an area for advanced players, but Shinji insisted it was a perfect place for beginners.
Barren hills stretched out all around her. Even the sky, which had been so beautiful and blue in the city, took on an ominous hue here. “A-Are you sure about this?” she asked.
“Don’t worry. I’m with you,” Shinji said reassuringly.
Just then, three trolls emerged from the brush. They were violent, burly, copper-skinned man-eaters, each about three meters tall. The lead enemy let out a river of drool, raised its log-like club, and charged straight at her. “Graaaah!” it roared.
It was so intimidating that Kaname let out a shriek, genuinely stunned.
“Chidori-san! Don’t move!” called Shinji, brandishing his staff behind her. His black cape flapped in the wind and the air around him became distorted. A white flash rushed out of the staff, and there was a powerful roar of thunder.
“Go!” Shinji shouted. A blinding electric shock ran through the three trolls, charring their flesh as they each let out a throaty roar.
“Yikes!” Kaname shouted in panic.
Meanwhile, Shinji slowly relaxed. “You’re safe now, Chidori-san. They’re paralyzed.”
“What?”
The trolls weren’t dead yet, but they also couldn’t move.
“Attack,” he prompted her.
“Um... sure,” said Kaname, swinging the weapon Shinji had given her earlier. The first troll’s HP ran out in one shot and just like that, it died. Its image burned away like scrap paper catching fire, followed by the second troll, and then the third.
Kaname’s level skyrocketed, and her gold increased twenty-fold. “Wow,” she said, “awesome.”
“Right? lol,” said Shinji with a smile. “Power leveling like this is sort of against the game’s etiquette, but there’s a lot of exploits like that. You can get pretty high level in just an hour, but then you run into diminishing returns.”
“Really?”
“It’s more fun to play as a warrior after you’ve gained a couple levels anyway,” he commented. “It might not seem interesting now, but hang in there a while.”
“Ah... right,” said Kaname. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now, let’s keep going,” Shinji responded merrily, and resumed his walk through the wasteland.
Is this really the Kazama Shinji I know? wondered Kaname. From this angle, his silhouette was strangely noble and reassuring.
While she was preparing for this adventure, the tavern master of the Arleigh Burke had told her that Shinji’s character was nicknamed ‘Zama the Gale’, and that he was a fairly well-known adventurer among the regulars. He was a powerful fighter, with smooth navigation of the game commands and clear-headed judgment. It was easy to understand why his girlfriend, a girl named Cia, had fallen for him so easily.
“Do I just have a weakness for this sort of thing?” Kaname asked herself. She’d have to reevaluate her ambiguous feelings for Sousuke at some point, if so. After all, at school, he was utterly useless. And here in the game, he’d run away and then gone no-contact...
It’s not like I’m actually going to fall for him like this... Still, Kaname had to admit that Shinji seemed pretty hot right now.
After about an hour of fighting, they arrived at an old, ruined castle.
“Up for more?” Shinji asked.
“Yeah,” said Kaname.
“Great! Then stick with me,” he told her, just as a powerful rush of flame assailed them. Thanks to the defensive spell Shinji had cast in advance, Kaname avoided instant death... but she definitely wouldn’t survive another hit like that one.
“What?!” she exclaimed.
Quickly using a recovery item on Kaname, Shinji readied for battle.
“Drat, you survived! Typical Zama the Gale!” A summoner stood before them—a demihuman girl with bunny ears, dressed in a swimsuit-like costume beneath simple armor and a long cape. The explosion had kicked up a wind that sent her chestnut hair and crested apron streaming.
“Y-You’re...”
“But can you dodge my attacks while protecting that strangely named girl?” she asked, over his objections. “I’m the most trusted retainer of the great sorceress, Yoko, after all!” Above the girl’s bunny ears was the name Mizu.
Zama—Shinji—shouted. “Inaba-san?!”
Kaname’s eyes went wide as she heard his words. “H-Hey,” she asked. “Are you Mizuki?”
“Inaba-san,” he yelled, “why are you working with that woman?!”
Mizu (AKA Inaba Mizuki) let out a high-pitched laugh. “As if you didn’t know! This kingdom will someday belong to Yoko-sama. No one will be able to resist her overwhelming power! Zama the Gale, why do you continue to oppose her?!”
“I told you all about that at school! Why are you so mean? I was so patient with you during your initial leveling process! Give back the money for the gift card I bought you!” Shinji yelled as he landed back on the ground.
“Heh... sorry, Kazama-kun. Killing you will earn me 100,000 gamels from Yoko-sama. And her royal guard is made up of the most beautiful people, so you know. I love having them fawn over me!”
“She’s got you fooled!” he fumed. “Their players are all probably fat, ugly nerds!”
“Be quiet! Why must you ruin my beautiful dreams?! You’re my enemy, understand?” Then Mizu the fallen summoner raised her hand, and dozens of orcs popped up around them.
Kaname walked out and shouted, “Hey, Mizuki! If you’re Mizuki, you have to stop this! Didn’t you originally promise to help Kazama-kun?!”
“Eh? Don’t act like you know me, bathroom tissue,” the rabbit-eared Mizuki said coldly.
“What was that?!” Kaname demanded. “Even if you are my friend, there’s some things I won’t take! Okay...”
“But that’s what you are, isn’t it?”
“Nngh!” Kaname trembled in anger.
Meanwhile, Mizuki finished preparing her attack spell. “Now, Zama the Sorcerer. I don’t know what Toilet Girl there is talking about, but I need you to die now.” Mizuki’s body took on a white glow as she called upon an ancient monster.
“Hng... Yoko’s power has made her stronger!” said Shinji.
“Don’t worry,” she told him cheerily, “I’ll treat you to a Sekiha Ten-croquette Roll from Hanamaru Pan when we get back to school. Now, let’s begin!”
“Chidori-san, get back! Graaaah!” A scorching aura flared up around Shinji.
Mizuki and Shinji’s magical fields expanded. “Take this!” they shouted in unison. The flame-wreathed dragon and blinding arrow of light streaked towards one another and collided in an earth-shaking explosion.
Kaname was tossed around and thrown against the ground. “Geh...”
When the flame and smoke cleared, only Mizuki remained standing. Shinji was kneeling on the ground, panting in pain.
“Kazama-kun?!”
“I never thought... Inaba-san would grow this strong,” he wheezed. “At this rate...”
“V-Very impressive, but... bwa ha ha ha!” Mizuki seemed to have taken plenty of damage herself, but she still stood confidently as she made her proclamation. “I’ve won today! Now, my orc servants! Tear those two apart!”
The orcs squealed in glee, raising their wicked weapons as they approached Kaname and Shinji.
Shinji was hurt so badly he was having trouble moving—a victim of the “stunned” status effect. Kaname wasn’t at a high enough level to face the orc horde herself. She couldn’t even run away. Is this the end of everything? she wondered.
But just as the two were resigning themselves to their fate, an arrow plunged through the head of the lead orc.
“Eh?!” Kaname shouted.
The orc let out a scream and pitched over backwards. Another strike came, then another. The arrows were taking out the orcs one by one. Mizuki was shocked, but the shots continued raining down.
At the same time, a human figure appeared out of nowhere and tore into the confused orc horde. It was a man dressed in foreign-looking clothing; he didn’t have any weapons, but swung his mercilessly trained hands and elbows at their evil enemies. His raging fists tore through the air, and the punches hit hard.
“Ugh... get back! Get back!” She must have realized she was at a disadvantage, because Mizuki gave the order and the surviving orcs retreated.
In an instant, all was quiet.
“We’re saved...” Kaname marveled. A rotund statue the size of her palm lay in the spot where Mizuki had been standing before she fled. It had big button eyes, and a face halfway between a mouse and a dog. What kind of item is this? Feels like it’ll be important later... Kaname decided not to think about it too hard as she packed the statue away. For now, she turned her eyes to the man who’d saved her. “All right, Kazama-kun... who are these people?”
“I... I don’t know,” Shinji said.
The foreign man who’d saved them was a monk named Baki, and the man who’d unleashed the arrows from the brush was a ranger named Seagal.
Baki and Seagal...
“Wait... Tsubaki-kun and Sagara-kun?!” Shinji demanded.
“Affirmative.”
“You finally realized?”
They both gave confirmation. Then they said:
“I’ve been fighting this unpleasant fool in the mountains for days.”
“I ended up leveling up quickly somehow. I learned the controls as well.”
The level above both of their heads read 55, even though they’d only started playing one week earlier. It was the kind of growth that might barely be possible if you’d spent that whole time fighting without even breaking to sleep.
“They’re even at each other’s throats here?” said Kaname.
“Looks like it,” Shinji agreed.
“Still, it’s incredible. They got their levels that high just from fighting each other?” asked Kaname, who was still only level 18 and thus very impressed.
“Well, yeah... You don’t just get experience from beating enemies, but from the act of fighting itself,” Shinji explained. “I guess constantly dueling in a way that could get both of your characters killed would get your level up pretty fast. But usually one of you dies in the process, or a monster interrupts and kills you both.”
“Uh-huh.”
Ignoring the surprised and slightly aghast aura that hung around Kaname and Shinji, Sousuke and Tsubaki Issei leaped away from each other and assumed a fighting stance.
“We called a brief truce to save you, but...”
“...Now it’s time to finish this.”
Kaname quickly interposed herself. “Hey, you two! Cut it out! I’m grateful you saved me, but this is ridiculous!”
The two of them, who usually did whatever Kaname asked, were extremely curt with her this time.
“Who are you?”
“Get out of here, bathroom tissue woman.”
Kaname was stunned into silence.
According to the Annals of Laboon, which would be recorded later, the four heroes who would save the kingdom from its greatest crisis happened upon each other in the rose garden of the old imperial palace, immediately recognized each other as valiant allies, and swore a fellowship.
But this was how it really happened.
[To Be Continued]
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