Prologue
So there we were. All of us in a room at Belzerg’s royal castle.
“Ahhh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-haaaa-ha-ha-ha! Here, Kazuma, look at this! Look! I used the brochure from the shopping district to make a demon mask!”
“Pfffft-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is unreal! Are you sure this thing used to be a brochure? It looks great! I think we’ve found your calling!”
We had brought Iris safely back to the castle, after which we’d accepted Claire’s invitation to get crazy drunk.
“Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ooooh! I, the all-seeing demon, shall make a prediction. O young woman sitting there sober all by herself, looking exasperated. Alcohol requires carbohydrates to break down. If you start drinking right now, you might be able to soften up those angular muscles a bit.”
“Bah-ha-ha-ha! God, you sound just like him!”
“Sh-shut your mouths, you drunks. And, Aqua, don’t call my muscles ‘angular’!”
Aqua was busy imitating Vanir with her handmade brochure-mask, but Darkness, blushing furiously, wasn’t amused.
“I wish you would let me have some! I am old enough to get married, so why must I suffer being treated like a child?!” Megumin, the only one not allowed to drink, turned on Darkness.
“L-look, Megumin, it’s not really a question of age. It’s, you know, proportions, right? Maybe once you develop a little more. . .” Her voice trailed off.
“Pfffft-ah-ha-ha-ha!” I chortled. “She’s got your number!”
“She does not have any number at all! What do you find so funny anyway, you drunkard? Give me that wine you’re holding! . . .Hey, what are you doing? Get your hand away from— Yaaaaghhh!”
When Megumin tried to steal the wine I was holding, I happily Drain Touched her, sending Aqua into a fresh fit of hysterics.
“Ahhhh-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! You’ve got her number!”
“Enough numbers! What is wrong with you, Kazuma? Thanks to you stealing my MP, I can’t fire off my explosion for the day! I will have you return that magic to me later!”
She was really upset, but I just kept laughing. “Numberrrr!”
“This man!”
She lunged for me. I ignored her, looking amiably around the crowded room.
“Kazuma, hey, Kazuma! Let’s drink this castle dry tonight!”
“Sounds like a plan! And then I’ll be doing Create Water without using any magic at all, if you know what I mean!”
“This man is the worst! Do you hear the filth he is spewing?”
“Hey, we need some backup in here! Somebody come get these two back to their rooms!”
Aqua and I, though, were pretty much ignoring Megumin and Darkness.
“Hey, Kazuma, today was really great! I’ve never gotten so much recognition in my whole time here!”
“You said it! Whenever we do a good deed around this place, we get stuck with a huge debt or put through the wringer, or they send us away with a plaque or a few pennies!”
I savored the memory of the day we’d just had.
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