Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? (LN) - Volume 15 - Chapter 3

3 - If You're Not Strong Enough, You'D Better Get Groveling

“Hey, sorry. I know you’re having a super serious conversation, but…”

The crackling tension in the air gets interrupted by someone we all totally forgot about: Kusama.

Still tied up face-to-face with Ogiwara in a truly ridiculous position, he gets a deadly serious glint in his eye as he goes on.

“I’m about to piss my pants. Can I go to the bathroom?”

The change in Ogiwara’s expression is immediate and hilarious.

It goes from an unimpressed c’mon dude, read the room to a horrified are you serious?!

Yeah, I can’t blame him since he’s tied to the guy and all.

If Kusama actually pees himself, it’s gonna be a bad time for someone who’s practically glued up against him.

I’d probably make the same face in his position.

“I don’t see why not, hmm? It seems like some of us need to cool off anyway. This might be a good time for a break.”

Before I can say anything, Vampy takes it upon herself to announce an intermission.

On top of that, even as she says it, she’s already getting up, stretching, and flouncing out the door.

Man. She wasn’t exactly making an effort to conceal her disinterest, but I guess she was even more bored than I thought.

“I’m gonna go pee, then!”

Kusama hops up with a yell and disappears.

He’s suddenly nowhere to be seen, as if he was never tied up at all.

Oh, neat.

That was actually kinda ninja-like.

I guess he could’ve escaped whenever he wanted to, then.

Since he chose to wait and ask for permission, maybe he was reading the room after all?

In fact, maybe he picked that particular time to announce his needs on purpose, in order to break the tension?

…Yeah, no waaay.

That’s giving Kusama waaay too much credit.

I’m sure his bladder just reached capacity at the exact right moment.

There’s always that one guy who asks to go to the bathroom at the most critical junctures.

Y’know, like during a test.

Once Vampy and Kusama take off, the rest of the reincarnations stand around for a moment like they don’t know what to do.

But then Mr. Oni silently closes his eyes, and Yamada responds by letting out a big breath as if to release some tension.

That prompts everyone else to start taking their own actions.

Some start chatting with the people next to them, while others go up the stairs.

Ah! Speaking of upstairs, that’s where Ms. Oka is resting!

I’m gonna go see how she’s doing.

Is it really okay for me to leave when I’m the facilitator or whatever, you ask?

Well, I’m pretty beat after all that drama. I’m sure they’ll figure it out with or without me.

If anything, I feel like it doesn’t even matter if I’m there at this point.

I stand up from my chair and start walking toward the stairs.

Kinda feels like everyone who’s still in the room is hard-core staring after me, but let’s just pretend that’s my imagination.

Kudo and Shinohara in particular seem to be glaring holes into the back of my head, but that’s not my problem!

“If you’re going to go see Ms. Oka, do you mind if I come along?”

Here I am, trying to walk along a bed of nails with nerves of steel, yet one particular hero has to go and ruin the whole thing for me.

Well, yeah, I guess Yamada’s got the heart of a hero and all that crap.

Besides, he doesn’t really need my permission, not to mention that he’s already standing up to follow me, even though he phrased it as a question.

It’s all too much of a pain to deal with, so I just nod silently and keep walking, without paying him any more mind.

Behind him, Ooshima follows, as if there’s nothing better to do.

And even farther behind them, Shinohara silently trails along, too.

I always thought of Shinohara as rather chatty, but she hasn’t said a word so far.

Yet there’s something intense about her silent stare.

It’s almost extra scary because of the contrast with her normally noisy self.

We all climb the stairs in silence, me included, and arrive at the room in question.

I knock on the door to be polite, then wait for a response.

But the door opens from within without anyone saying a word.

It’s Kushitani, who’s been keeping an eye on Ms. Oka.

“Come in. Quietly, though—she’s still sleeping.”

She must have noticed we were coming with her heightened senses as a former adventurer.

Ever since the meeting started, I’ve been thinking that Kushitani and Tagawa seem to understand things better than most because they’ve experienced life in both the outside world and the elf village.

And with their experience as independent adventurers, they’re better at making decisions than the other reincarnations are.

Kushitani was kind enough to prioritize looking after Ms. Oka earlier, too.

In that way, they’re different from Yamada and the others, who lived in the outside world but had a more sheltered upbringing.

When I walk into the room at Kushitani’s prompting, I see Ms. Oka lying in a bed.

She was still conscious when Kushitani carried her out earlier, but she must have passed out from the stress or something.

Aside from the bed where Ms. Oka is sleeping, there’s one more in the room. This one contains Hasebe.

Phelmina, who’s been keeping watch over her, is sitting next to it silently.

…Her eyes look kinda cold when she sees me.

I’m sure it’s just my imagination!

I’ve been noticing all kinds of dirty looks today, but I swear they’re all just figments of my imagination!

At least, that’s what I have to keep telling myself!

Got that?!

“How is Ms. Oka’s health?” Yamada asks Kushitani.

“It’s hard to say. It’s her heart that’s hurting, not her body, after all. She’s sleeping off the exhaustion right now, but there’s no telling how she’ll feel when she wakes up.”

With that, Kushitani shrugs.

Her wording and tone might seem a little indifferent, but I’m sure she’s worried about Ms. Oka in her own way.

“And how’d that go?”

Kushitani looks at me, not Yamada, as she asks this question.

She’s probably questioning what happened downstairs, since we showed up awfully soon to have finished discussing everything already.

“We’re taking a break. I’m afraid I derailed things a little.”

Yamada gives a sheepish smile.

So he knows he threw things off track, huh?

“Well, I can’t say I blame you. In this situation, we’ve got so many questions, it’s hard to know what to ask first.”

Kushitani gives a little sigh and glances in my direction.

I guess she’s a little concerned about what our side is going to do next, too.

So even experienced former adventurers get a little uneasy when they don’t know what’s coming, huh?

“There is one thing I’d like to ask right away, though.” Kushitani steels herself. “What do you plan to do with us after this, Miss Wakaba?”

Hmm.

It clearly took a lot of courage to ask that, but I’ve only got one answer…

“Nothing, really.”

“Excuse me?”

Even someone as levelheaded as Kushitani looks confused and unconvinced by my answer.

“Nothing really…?”

She looks halfway to her wit’s end. What am I supposed to say, though?

I mean, that really is all there is to it.

Our biggest reason for attacking and destroying the elf village was to take down Potimas.

The next-biggest reason was to free Ms. Oka from his grasp; rescuing the captured reincarnations comes in a distant third.

Frankly, rescuing these guys was only an afterthought to beating Potimas.

So I haven’t really thought about what happens to the reincarnations after this.

I think they should be free to do whatever they want, to be honest.

Although it would be kinda cold to just say, “You guys are free now. Take care of yourselves” and dump them somewhere. I’ll give them a little bit of support, at least.

But I mean, c’mon. They’re all grown-ass adults, especially if you count their previous lives. As long as they’re set up with the basics, I’m sure they can take care of themselves.

Even if I can’t help but feel like they haven’t matured all that much, probably because they were so sheltered in here.

Anyway, I should explain all that to them, but that sounds like a huge pain.

Read my lips: I don’t wanna talk anymore!

“I’ll explain things properly downstairs, all that included. Kushitani, you can have Tagawa fill you in later, if you don’t mind.”

If I explain it now, I’ll just have to go over it again with everybody else.

I don’t even wanna do it once, never mind twice.

Now that I’ve checked in on Ms. Oka, there’s no point making any more of a fuss while she’s trying to sleep.

So I’m just making a strategic retreat.

I’m definitely not fleeing with my tail between my legs.

I’m not, okay? I swear.

As Kushitani, Yamada, and the others stare at me in shock, I quickly about-face and exit the room.

It feels like Shinohara was glaring daggers at me, but I’m just imagining things again, I’m sure!

When I get back downstairs, it’s immediately clear that the almost-settled atmosphere has gotten super tense again.

As soon as I show up, everyone’s eyes fix right on me.

Oof.

So my existence is really that stressful to all of you, huh? Got it.

Kusama is not back yet, and a few others are still missing as well, so that means we’re still on break, right?

Okay, I’m gonna peace out from this sea of eyes, then!

Ogiwara appears to be kneeling on the floor for some reason, but I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything.

Ignoring all the piercing stares, I make for the door that leads outside.

Phew.

Why’s it feel like I’m standing on a bed of needles in there? Sooo uncomfortable!

Are we sure I can’t just leave and never come back?

I can’t, huh?

Riiight…

Once this break is over, I’m gonna have to start explaining things again, but my best interpreter doesn’t seem like he’s in a good way at the moment.

I might not be able to count on Mr. Oni for backup very much.

In that case, I’ll need backup from someone else, which unfortunately only leaves one option…

But the option in question, aka Vampy, appears to have summoned a black wolf to recline against and is currently basking in the sun.

Uh, Vampy?

You sure about that?

Aren’t you supposed to be a vampire?

’Cause it kinda feels like sunning yourself on purpose is basically making a mockery of every other vampire in existence.

It would probably be a sweet scene if it was anyone else, but she’s a vampire, sooo…

“…Can I help you?”

Um, yeah, actually.

By apologizing to every vampire who lives in fear of the sun!

“Gorgeous weather, isn’t it? I could fall asleep right here if it weren’t for that god-awful stench.”

Apologize!

Apologize to all the vampires!

It is pretty nice weather, though.

The sun is shining like you wouldn’t believe.

Also, the black wolf Vampy is leaning on looks like a super-soft, fluffy cushion.

If it weren’t for the smell from the burnt wasteland around us, I suppose it really would be a nice day for a nap.

As all this crosses my mind, Vampy actually has the gall to close her eyes and start dozing off.

That kinda pisses me off, so I lightly kick her in the side.

“Ow!”

She glares up at me as if to ask what my problem is, but I couldn’t help it! That was an act of divine punishment!

It’s all your fault, Vampy!

“What? I’m not allowed to sleep?”

Hell no, you’re not!

“Why shouldn’t I? It’s not as if I need to be there for that little party. If my presence isn’t required, I don’t see why I can’t just leave.”

She certainly wasn’t contributing before, but now that Mr. Oni seems too preoccupied to help me, I’m gonna need her to step up.

I have to convince her to explain things for me somehow!

…Can she really even do that, though?

I’m kinda concerned about entrusting her with that job…

“I was so bored that I got sleepy. What else am I supposed to do?”

With that, Vampy gives a cute little yawn.

Her languid pose comes off as weirdly erotic.

Honestly.

Who’s this little act even for?

Want me to do something about that scandalous chest of yours?

I mean, um, forget it.

The image of the Demon Lord making grabby hands with a wicked grin on her face suddenly crosses my mind, and I hastily put all chest-related thoughts aside.

I think the Demon Lord has a bit of a complex about her figure…

“When it comes right down to it, why should you have to explain things to those people anyway, Master? That stupid hero was babbling on about having a right to know, but does he really? As far as I’m concerned, we’re just educating them as a kindness. We’re under no obligation to tell them anything, so why even bother?”

Uhh, yikes.

I guess Vampy was even more stressed about this whole meeting thing than I thought.

But I do kinda get where she’s coming from.

Vampy’s totally moved on from her old life.

She feels strongly that this life has nothing to do with the previous one, so she probably only thinks of the other reincarnations as acquaintances she vaguely knew a long time ago.

Maybe not even acquaintances, in fact.

So she doesn’t think we’re obligated to be nice to them.

And honestly, she’s not wrong.

We really don’t have an obligation to explain anything at all to the reincarnations.

It’s just, they are technically victims, which makes me feel a little bad casting them aside without a word of explanation. That’s the only reason I’m trying to explain what’s going on.

Like Vampy says, Yamada’s so-called right to know is really just a matter of opinion, huh…?

“In fact, I can’t wrap my head around why you’re being nice enough to explain anything to them, Master. It doesn’t make any sense. Especially when you’re so bad at explanations.”

Hey, that last sentence was uncalled for!

It might be the truth, but that doesn’t mean you can just come right out and say it, jerk!

“Not to mention that you’re cold-blooded and cruel without a shred of emotion.”

Okay, now you’re just doing this on purpose.

You wanna take this outside, Vampy?

Looks like we still need to reach an understanding, you and me.

“Oh, all right. I’ll do it, Master. I’ll take over the explanation for you.”

Just as I’m about to drag Vampy into my web for a little “chat,” she says something unexpected.

Wait… What…?!

You’re telling me Vampy is actually being considerate?!

“Why do you look so surprised? What kind of person do you think I am, Master?”

A no-good vampire.

Apparently, Vampy can tell what I’m thinking; she scowls as she stands. The black wolf she was reclining on vanishes as if swallowed up into her shadow.

“Hmph. I’m sure this farce will only get dragged out even longer if I leave you to take care of it alone. And Kyouya seems too distracted to fend off questions right now. The only way to deal with such a boring task is to finish it up as quickly as possible.”

With that, Vampy strides toward the tree house where the reincarnations are waiting.

Who is this capable woman, and what has she done with the real Vampy?

“What are you waiting for? Let’s get this over with already.”

Vampy turns around at the door and calls to me impatiently.

Feeling like I’ve stumbled into the Twilight Zone, I stumble after her in a daze.

When we reenter the tree house, Kusama and Ogiwara are bound together again.

Just like before, they’re tied up face-to-face, like they’re in a lovers’ embrace.

I’m pretty sure Ogiwara was kneeling on the floor by himself when I left a few minutes ago. How’d he get literally roped in with Kusama again?

…Okay, yeah.

I’m not even gonna question it.

Vampy is totally ignoring them, too.

She walks right over to the area where we were sitting before.

But instead of sitting down, she just stands there with her arms folded.

It feels like she’s expecting me to sit, though, so I go ahead and do so.

“All right, let’s get this ball rolling again. Is anyone missing? No? If you notice anyone absent, somebody go get them, please.”

Vampy claps her hands briskly and raises her voice so the whole room can hear.

Impressively enough, even though she’s speaking fairly loudly, she doesn’t sound any less elegant than usual.

Huh?

Has she always been this impressive?

As soon as she starts speaking, the reincarnations who were chatting among themselves settle down into silence.

At the same time, Kudo stands and goes up the stairs.

I assume she’s going to get Yamada and the others who haven’t come back yet.

Watching her leave, Vampy folds her arms again and stands in silent anticipation.

Mr. Oni stares at her dubiously.

Yeah.

I can’t say I blame him.

Vampy never puts herself out on a limb like this.

And when she does take the initiative, it usually means something terrible is about to happen.

Mr. Oni sends a few questioning glances in my direction.

I’m as confused as you are, buddy!

Before long, Kudo returns with Yamada and company in tow.

They each return to their seats.

“Let’s start this up again, then.”

There’s a different kind of tension in the air now that Vampy’s running things.

Before, it was like everyone was afraid of the uncertain future and the mysterious people addressing them, but now it’s more like they’re just intimidated by Vampy.

…Huh?

Were they more scared of me than they are of her?

I don’t get it.

“First of all, just so we’re clear: We saved all you people, which means it’s officially up to us whether you live or die. Get that through your heads.”

Um…hello?!

Way to come out swinging, Vampy…!

“Wait a minute!”

“Shut up. I’m still talking.”

Yamada stands up to protest, but Vampy silences him.

Physically, that is.

“Gah!”

I imagine Mr. Oni and I are the only ones who understand what just happened.

Even the reincarnations who are decent in battle, like Ooshima and Tagawa, probably couldn’t follow Vampy’s movements.

All she actually did was get close to Yamada and sweep his legs out from under him.

It’s just that she did it with unbelievable speed and strength.

Yamada goes flying out of his chair.

She must have held back a little bit, or Yamada’s legs would probably be broken—in fact, his entire lower half might have been blown right off.

“Listen, we’re telling you all this out of the goodness of our hearts, as a courtesy. Do you understand me? We’re doing you a favor.”

As Yamada groans in pain on the floor, Vampy spells things out to him like she’s talking to a child.

“Frankly, we only rescued you all as an afterthought to wiping out the elves. I, for one, would be more than happy to let you all go without another word of explanation. But out of respect for our shared past lives, we’re generously explaining things to you like this. Isn’t that nice?”

I don’t think “nice” people usually sweep other people’s legs out from under them without warning.

For that matter, they probably don’t make threatening statements about holding people’s lives in their hands, either.

“Hey…”

“You be quiet, too, Kyouya. It’s your fault we got so far off track. Do try not to make an even bigger mess of things, won’t you?”

Vampy cuts Mr. Oni off before he can offer any constructive criticism.

Too bad she’s making the biggest mess of all!

“You think you have a right to know, hmm? Well, let me be the first to tell you, you’ve got no such thing. You people are essentially prisoners of war right now. Not to mention, refugees without a home. Which means we can kill you or let you live on a whim. Have I made myself clear?”

While Vampy smiles brightly, the other reincarnations’ expressions are rapidly darkening.

Up until a few moments ago, the vibe was basically like a class assembly, but now words like “prisoners” and “kill” have clearly made them realize that the situation is more dangerous than they thought.

Cool, cool.

Although you could’ve told them a little more gently!

What are we gonna do about this icy atmosphere?!

“You don’t need to say it so…”

“I told you to shut up.”

As Yamada tries to speak up again, Vampy mercilessly kicks him in the face.

“Stop it!”

“And as I said, I’m still talking!”

When Ooshima moves to stop her, Vampy sends her to the floor with a slap.

What a thing to do to a lady’s face!

…Ooshima is a lady now, right? You know what? Let’s not worry about that right now.

“If you’ve got a problem, the door is right over there. We’re under no obligation to explain anything to you, mind. So if you don’t want to hear it, you certainly don’t have to. But if you want to know, shut up and listen. Every second you all open your mouths is another second wasted.”

A hush falls over the room at that.

Yamada quietly scoots over next to Ooshima and uses Healing Magic on the area where she was slapped, but no one moves a muscle otherwise.

It’s almost like they’re all holding their breath.

“Good. Now, keep quiet and listen. I won’t be taking questions at this time. Once I’ve explained everything, I’ll allow for questions at the end, if I so choose. Until then, just listen to me in silence. Understood?”

No one raises any objections.

She’s totally ruling with an iron fist here!

Sure, that might be the most effective way to explain something to a bunch of people, but isn’t that going to leave a downright awful impression afterward? Geez.

What am I supposed to do about this?

Not my problem, I guess.

“Now, what have we covered so far? Let me think…”

Vampy taps her finger on her chin and gets utterly lost in thought.

Wow.

She wasn’t even remotely listening earlier!

Everything I said went in one ear and out the other, like a principal’s rambling speech at a school assembly.

“Oh, well. It doesn’t matter.”

YES IT DOES!

“Let’s just skip the part about the current state of the world. Honestly, what’s the point in telling you that this planet is on the verge of destruction when it’ll only upset you? It’s not as if you can do anything about it whether you know or not. I can’t be bothered to explain. If you really must know more, you can come ask me about it later.”

Sheesh, tell us how you really feel.

I guess she does have a point, though.

The majority of these reincarnations would be no use in battle.

You can’t really ask a bunch of normies to try and save the world from total annihilation.

This isn’t one of those movies where some random person gets sent into space to put a hole through a giant meteorite that’s about to crash into the planet or whatever.

“At any rate, this planet won’t be destroyed in any of your lifetimes. So there’s no point dwelling on it, is there? I’m sure you’re more concerned about your immediate future than about something that won’t happen until after you die. Am I wrong?”

Vampy looks around at the reincarnations.

After she just knocked down Yamada and Ooshima, nobody is about to risk speaking up and attracting her attention.

But a few of them are at least implying agreement with their posture and attitude: nodding along, looking at her seriously, and so on.

“As I said before, we personally brought down the elf village. So you’d better be aware that you’re essentially prisoners of war. But it’s not as if we’re enemies, so we don’t intend to harm you…as long as you’re on your best behavior, that is.”

I’m pretty sure I heard a few of the reincarnations audibly gulp.

I mean, yeah.

You can’t really claim you don’t mean any harm right after smacking several people around.

Nobody’s gonna believe that after seeing what they all saw.

I can’t blame them for assuming that this means they’ll be beaten to a pulp if they don’t fall into line.

In fact, maybe that’s exactly what she wants them to think?

Hmm.

I’m not sure if Vampy is actually thinking it through that deeply or not.

It’s entirely possible that she’s just blurting out whatever comes to mind without a second thought.

This is Vampy we’re talking about, y’know?

“Now then, as for what happens to you all from here on out, we’re happy to go along with whatever you choose. We’ll look after you if you want protection, and you’re free to leave, if that’s what you’d prefer. If you want to stay here, that’s fine, too. Although I can’t say I recommend it, since the barrier’s gone and we slaughtered all the elves and all.”

Great, another bombshell!

A shudder runs through the crowd.

They’d probably be yelling at us if Vampy hadn’t just ordered them to stay quiet, I bet.

In fact, I’m impressed that her threat worked well enough to stop them.

The reincarnations are all clearly shaken after learning that the elves have been massacred.

I mean, can you blame them? These people were walking around and talking to them just yesterday, and now they’ve just learned that they’re all dead.

From the way we’ve been talking so far, I’m sure they’d figured out that the elves fought us and lost, but I doubt they reached the conclusion that we’d killed every last one of them.

On top of that, most of these reincarnations have been living in an extended edition of their peaceful lives in Japan and have never seen a battlefield in all their days.

That just makes the shock even more intense.

Some of them are turning pale, while others try to laugh it off in disbelief, but fail.

“Hey.”

Unable to sit idly by in all this panic, Mr. Oni tugs on Vampy’s arm.

“What?”

“Did you really need to mention that?”

“If not now, then when? They would’ve found out sooner or later, even if we tried to hide it. Isn’t it better to rip the bandage off?”

Vampy shakes her arm free of Mr. Oni’s grasp.

He doesn’t pursue the argument after that; more like he can’t.

Hmm.

It’s true: Even though the reincarnations are totally freaking out, we were gonna have to tell them eventually.

As shocking as it might be for them to hear, it wouldn’t have been good to drag it out indefinitely without fessing up, either…

Maybe Vampy’s actually right that it’s better just to get it out of the way.

“So…it’s true…?” Yamada whispers faintly.

Evidently, he figured out from Vampy and Mr. Oni’s exchange that her announcement was no joke.

“It is. Ah, but don’t say another word, all right? I don’t need to hear your silly little opinions. No matter what you might want to say to us, I have no desire to listen. If you still insist upon saying it, I suppose you’ll have to silence me by force. Not that you’d be able to do that.”

Daaamn!

That’s harsh!

Like, really harsh!

Yamada’s even gritting his teeth like he wants to cry!

I think you could’ve sugar-coated it a little more than that.

“What’s done is done, no matter how much you whine about it. How annoying can you be? If you had a problem with it, you should’ve stopped us. Don’t blame us for your own weakness, okay?”

Daaamn!

That’s harsh!

Really, really harsh!

Forget sugar-coating it, she’s out here rubbing salt in the wound!

Yamada is clenching his fists and trembling now!

Poor guy.

“At any rate, the elves are gone, regardless of how it happened. That’s all you need to know. And the only thing you need to worry about now is what to make of your lives from here on out. Forget about your lives here, or any misplaced sense of responsibility or justice. We don’t care about any of that. Deal with it among yourselves.”

With that, Vampy turns away from Yamada, as if he’s not even worth looking at anymore.

“There’s no one else left in this village. On top of that, the barrier that kept this place safe is gone, too, meaning monsters can come and go whenever they please. If any of you are so attached to this wreck of a place that you want to stay in spite of all that, we’ll respect your wishes. Anyone?”

A few reincarnations shake their heads rapidly.

I mean, yeah.

“Well, if you don’t want to stay, we’ll escort you safely out of the village—or rather, the forest. After that, as I said before, you can each tell us what you’d like to do next. We’ll do our best to make it happen, out of the goodness of our hearts. Though only if it’s within reason, of course.”

Mm-hmm.

I think we can at least get them set up with their basic needs.

But if any of them say they want to live in the lap of luxury, I’ll knock them out cold.

As long as they don’t make any unreasonable demands, though, I would like to hear them out.

It shouldn’t be too hard with the help of the Word of God church.

“Oh, right. If you really want to, why don’t you just go back to Earth?”

Hmm?

What?

“We can go back?!”

Kudo, who’s been making an effort to keep quiet this whole time, blurts out a cry and leaps from her seat.

“You can do that, right?”

Vampy turns toward me for confirmation.

Huh?

Uh…

Not really, no?

But as much as I want to say that, the hopeful eyes of the reincarnations are boring into me.

Vampyyyy…

Way to make an even bigger mess!

Thanks to the giant bombshell Vampy just threw into the mix, the reincarnations are all chattering away.

They’re so worked up that even Vampy’s threat isn’t working.

I guess the idea that they might be able to go back to Earth is really that shocking.

But unfortunately, I can’t do that.

It’s true that I did ask Vampy before if she wanted to go back to Earth.

But I meant after this is all over.

After the system is destroyed.

Not right now, while it’s still in place.

As it stands, the reincarnations can’t go back to Earth.

Why? Because of the “n% I = W” skill.

Though it was a mystery at first, what this skill actually does is link the reincarnations to this world’s system.

The reincarnations aren’t originally from this planet, after all.

When they died, they were supposed to go back into the normal cycle of death and rebirth, not the bizarre effect of this particular planet’s system.

Instead, they were forcibly shoved into this system to begin their second lives.

That’s the nature of the reincarnations.

And what keeps their souls attached to this system is the “n% I = W” skill.

Because of this skill, the reincarnations are able to receive the boons of the system like skills and stats, even though they’re outsiders.

At the same time, it also prevents them from being completely absorbed into the system.

Unlike the people of this planet, if the reincarnations die, they’ll go back into the regular cycle of death and rebirth.

Otherwise, if they become a part of this system completely, they’d get trapped in the endless hell of being reborn on this planet over and over.

Thus, the “n% I = W” skill gives the reincarnations the benefits of the system while preventing them from getting absorbed into the system completely.

Ultimately, as far as the system is concerned, the reincarnations are just temporary visitors.

So yeah, the “n% I = W” skill is super important for reincarnations, but in this particular case it works against them.

Skills are attached to one’s soul.

And since the “n% I = W” skill is especially necessary to reincarnations, it’s locked into their souls nice and tight.

And again, this skill is a bridge linking the reincarnations to the system.

Which means it’s connected to the system directly.

It’s impossible to sever that connection.

And that means I can’t take the reincarnations away from this planet where the system is in place.

Once the system is destroyed, that bond will be broken.

That’s why I asked Vampy and Mr. Oni if they’d want to go back to Earth once it’s all over.

But apparently Vampy interpreted that very differently and assumed I meant they could go back anytime.

Truth be told, since I’m no longer under the effect of skills, I can travel to and from Earth as I please.

But that’s only because I don’t have skills anymore. The only way to take the reincarnations with me would be to either destroy the system or have them get rid of all their skills, like I did.

Now, there is technically a skill that can erase all your skills—a way to offer up their power as a sacrifice.

But even when Ms. Oka used that method to erase Natsume’s skills, the “n% I = W” skill remained.

That’s how important the “n% I = W” skill is, and how difficult it would be to cut it off.

I mean, it’s basically a terminal for relaying the system’s effects, so it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to delete it within that system’s abilities.

Which means the only way to cut it off would be to become a god like me.

What kind of nightmare difficulty is that?

No waaay.

Then is there any way I can use my powers to get rid of “n% I = W,” you ask? Nooo waaay.

You know D is the one that made it, right?

It would be impossible for the likes of me to do anything about it.

Stuff that’s related to souls requires some ridiculously high-level techniques.

A newbie who’s only been a god for a few years wouldn’t be able to touch that sort of thing.

I’d be too scared to even try, in case I accidentally destroyed the whole soul, you know?

So in conclusion, no, they can’t go back.

But, uh, how am I supposed to explain that to them?

Well, I guess it’s not like I need to get into the nitty-gritty details. In theory, I could just say “nope” and leave it at that.

But Kudo and several of the others are staring at me with so much hope in their eyes.

Do I really have to shut them down right now?

“Can we really…go back…?”

Kudo’s eyes fill with tears.

Um…

Yikes.

Right, I guess if you still had attachments to Earth, you’d want to go back.

Especially in the case of these guys, who were under house arrest in the elf village for most of their lives. I’m sure the painful experiences made their homesickness that much stronger.

But think of how I feel, having to deny them now!

Dammit!

Curse you, Vampy!

You made this even harder than it needed to be!

The first people to notice my hesitation are Vampy and Mr. Oni.

Vampy tilts her head in a look of confusion, while Mr. Oni’s eyes widen as he figures things out from my demeanor.

Looks like both of them have figured out from my reaction that it’s not possible.

And from there, the rest of the reincarnations begin to notice that all three of us are acting strange.

Their surprise and hope at the thought of going back starts turning to unease.

Kudo, who showed the most excitement of anyone, fixes her eyes on me desperately.

Oof.

Great, thanks a lot, Vampy.

If she hadn’t given them hope that they might be able to go back, it probably never would’ve even occurred to them.

Without hope, there is no disappointment.

But when you get their hopes up, it’s that much more disappointing when they find out it’s not true.

I steel myself and tell them.

“No. It’s not possible.”

Immediately, an indescribable mood fills the room.

Vampy opens her mouth to say something else, but I use my Evil Eye to forcibly silence her.

I’m sure she was going to run her mouth to the effect of “What? But you said we could go back before!” or something like that, which is the last thing I need right now.

It’s true, once the system is destroyed, it might be possible to go back.

But I have no intention of looking after them until then.

My agreement with D doesn’t go that far.

Besides, once the system is broken, I don’t know for sure if I’ll still be able to do that.

I only suggested it to Vampy and Mr. Oni because I thought I might be able to make it work for those two if I made some preparations in advance.

But I don’t have the time or the energy to do that for all the reincarnations.

At most, it would be two, maybe three people.

What would happen if I came out and told them all that?

No doubt they’d start fighting among themselves over who gets to go.

If I can’t send them all back, it’s better to leave them all here.

At the very least, that means there won’t be any fighting over spots or resenting each other.

A painful silence falls.

In its midst, Kudo sits in her chair with a thud.

Or maybe it would be more accurate to say she collapsed, and there just happened to be a chair there.

She looks like the life’s been drained from her completely.

Without another word, she hangs her head.

There are a few other faces who can’t completely hide their disappointment, too.

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to give you false hope.

Even Vampy looks uncomfortable, like maybe she feels bad for what she’s done.

Seeing that, I release the Evil Eye I’d placed on Vampy.

“Let’s wrap things up here for today.”

With that, I stand.

It doesn’t feel right to go on with the explanatory meeting at the moment.

The reincarnations probably need a little more time to think.

I quickly walk toward the door, as if to escape the chilly atmosphere in the room.

Vampy and Mr. Oni hurriedly follow behind me.

Not one person tries to stop us from leaving, and we exit the tree house unhindered.

The door closes behind us, dividing us from the reincarnations.