Kuzu to Kinka no Qualidea - Volume 1 - Chapter 7.2

Haruma-1

Like I said, I really hate ugly things.

What do I feel upon viewing an army of ants carrying a butterfly? Despite their small size, they work so very hard together to carry the butterfly like a yacht… is the kind of rosy-eyed crap that I was not thinking.

I only feel disgust at the fact they were turning something beautiful and sublime into food.

When you put it that way, don’t you feel sorry for those ants that cling to life so desperately despite having their food taken away from them? Don’t be ridiculous. Bugs don’t have feelings. It’s just a case of some shitty human looking down on the ants and projecting their own sense of worth onto them. I mean, why are we giving ants special treatment? What about butterflies? Or the woodlice stuck under the humid, stifling shade of a rock?

When a person says that ants have it bad and declare that they sorry for them, it’s a sign of their empathy. They’re scrawny, mindless sycophants that only follow instinct and hierarchies, jealous of the beautiful butterflies that can fly freely in the sky, and thus they wait in eager anticipation for the moment the butterflies fall in order to brutally attack their weak points. They just see themselves in the ants and pile their empathy on them.

It’s really ugly. I mean, I despise insects that sympathise with insects.

But the scene I witnessed in the courtyard was even uglier and more despicable than those insect forms.

Scraps of paper danced like scattered feathers as abusive words flew out of people’s mouths, and all the while onlookers sneered and watched on with interest. To add insult to injury, they even started crowding around and filming the scene with their cellphones. It was like a rubbish heap. The courtyard was a crucible swirling with the essence of evil. And at the centre of it all was Chigusa Yuu.

Last night, I witnessed something deeply unpleasant that I could not wrap my head around, so I went to school feeling absolutely terrible, only to see something even more horrifying.

Chigusa was being shoved around by the female students, tottering back and forth. The unbearable abuses came one after the other, causing Chigusa’s thin shoulders to tremble and her lips to quiver. She was crying.

In this kind of situation, no one would be able to stick up for Chigusa or grab her hand and run away with her like a dashing Shonen Jump hero or romcom protag. The only kind of person who could pull off a stunt like that was someone good-looking and with powerful bloodlines, or alternatively someone who was kind to humans and animals from their bottom of their hearts, with memories of making a vague promise to a beautiful girl in his childhood.

Unfortunately, I ticked none of those boxes.

—Still, there was at least one reason why I should take action right now. There was just one, measly reason.

I didn’t have any right, duty, means, precedent, motive or bond that would make me do anything for her, but even so, if I had to deal with this situation unfolding before me…

“…Good grief. You leave me no choice. Still, why me…? Cut me some slack.”

…Then those were obviously the magic words (i.e. the lines I was supposed to say).

With a sigh, I muttered those idiotic, clichéd words that I would never utter in front of anyone. Then I stood by Chigusa’s side. Chigusa, who was in the midst of sobbing, probably didn’t see anything. Meh, it was better that way.

One of the girls who had been bitching earlier looked at me and clucked her tongue in disapproval. This bitch had kind of a bad attitude.

“Hey, could you not get in the way? That white knight act creeps me out. This has nothing to do with you, you know?”

“Actually, it does have something to do with me.”

“Like what?” she demanded.

I responded to the bitchy girl’s aggressive tone with the most affable smile imaginable.

“I’m also a v-victim of Chigusa Yuu. Not that I borrowed money off her. Gyarumi-senpai over there should remember, right? Chigusa Yuu forced me to go out with her,” I said.

This prompted the bitchy girl to turn to Gyarumi-senpai. “Oh, really?” she asked casually. But Gyarumi-senpai merely played with her curls and gave a big shrug.

“Huh? Who are you?”

Um, it really would’ve been nice if you remembered me there, Gyarumin, I thought.

That was when Suzaku Reiji adjusted his glasses and turned his gaze on me.

“I remember you. As I recall, you gave off this impression of having no… how do I say it…? Energy? Personality?”

“Um, okay… I never showed any energy to begin with, but whatever. As you saw, she wasted my time and calories and made me experience spiritual agony. Plus, she threatened me and did some horrible things to me to get her way,” I explained.

The bitchy girl started clutching her stomach and burst out laughing. “What a riot! Chigusa’s a complete loner, right? If this background character can get so pissed off with her, she’s really off the deep end! Woooooow.”

“Woooooow indeed. Okay, how about we say that this background character is on your side too? I’ll make Chigusa apologise properly, so rest easy.”

“Make her grovel for us then!”

Gyarumi-senpai started clapping her hands and calling for Chigusa to grovel as if she was having the time of her life, but I could not leave Chigusa’s side.

It wasn’t as if Chigusa was clinging to my sleeve or anything. If there was one reason to stand up in this situation, then it was enough.

“…Nah, there’s no need for that. I mean, for now I’m on this chick’s side—Chigusa’s side, I guess.”

“Huuuuh?” Gyarumi-senpai gaped. She turned her head so sharply her entire upper body twisted, a pose that you could only describe as ridiculous.

“It’s true that her personality is trash and that she’s a psychopath with no communication skills who doesn’t hesitate to threaten people, plus she’s a peabrain who assumes she can get away with anything because she’s cute. Honestly, there’s just nothing defensible about her. But still…” As I enunciated each word, I glanced at Chigusa’s face.

Tears and snot were pouring out from deep inside her, and she looked at me with eyes shining like sculpted glass.

“She just has a nice face. That’s it, so um, yeah. How do I say it…? I really, really like her,” I mumbled quickly so that nobody but me could hear it. This time, I squinted at Suzaku and the bitchy chick’s faces.

Okay, let me go over my creed one more time.

There’s no use for ugly hags and idiots; looks count for everything. Accordingly, I had no use for the people in front of me, nor for the people making whispering laughs in the background.

My creed is meaningful because I act upon it. In that case, my actions were set in stone. Those of you standing far away, listen up. There is nothing to lose. There are no penalties involved.

“I mean, your personality is no different from Chigusa’s. After all, if you all have ugly personalities, then of course I’ll side with the cutest girl. Use some common sense. Don’t you know the words ‘cute is justice’? Basically, it means you guys suck.”

“…H-Huuuh? What the hell are you saying? Who do you think you are, you nobody?!”

The bitchy chick stomped the ground in fury, making it seem like the earth was trembling somewhat. I even felt the tremors in my spinning head. It filled me with fear and a sliver of excitement.

Vengeance is mine. Cute is justice. Now then, let’s make this a story about justice.

If all vegetables taste the same, then you’d buy them based on how appealing they look. Everybody knows that people get hired based on their looks. Assuming they have equal abilities, then the better-looking applicant will get picked every time.

Actually, to put it more precisely, outward appearances and personality were originally meant to be just one parameter to express an individual’s merit, but those who lacked the ability to appeal to others on the basis of good looks whined that it was unfair. They claimed that what was most important was on the inside and argued for removing outward appearances as a criterion of evaluation. Ironically, they’re the ones who have made the system unfair.

I mean, evaluating people is an extremely subjective thing, so there’s no way you could seek fairness there. Some person might be nice and have a great personality and everything else under the sun, but if they weren’t nice to me, then there was nothing I could evaluate them on. Between two equally nice girls, I would pick “the girl who is nice to me” over “the girl who is nice to the world”.

Anyway, I’m not looking for kindness. I judge people based on outward appearances.

And Chigusa sure was cute.

Bankrupt though she was when it came to personality and her inner soul or whatever, her cuteness was her sole redeeming feature. As someone who never had anything to do with her, her cuteness was one of the few things about her that I was aware of.

It was also the only reason why I liked Chigusa Yuu.

“Haruma-san…”

I swung around at her voice. Chigusa was staring at me with a shocked and mystified expression on her face.

Being stared at that way made me feel self-conscious about the words I had uttered moments before, so I promptly looked away. At that point, my gaze fell on Suzaku Reiji, who was pinching his temples and grimacing.

“I don’t quite understand what you’re saying. What do you want to achieve? Could you stop pointlessly stirring up drama?” he sighed with disgust, gazing at me scornfully. This was exactly why I hated handsome and intelligent guys.

But still, this was Suzaku Reiji, who was able to bend the crowd to his will because of his handsomeness and intelligence. In that case, if I could sway this guy’s emotions, then I could get this situation under control.

“Hey, don’t be mean. Put in some effort and try to understand where I’m coming from. I get really nervous in front of so many people. I am the weakling, the average Joe, the victim. I have suffered so much because of my weakness and ugliness, so I want you to save me. Isn’t saving the small fry like me your job? Mr. Student Council President.”

I realised as I was speaking that I was talking more and more like a character from a play. Okay, okay, right, I was just acting. Just pretending to be a villain. This was an act, so it didn’t matter if he told me to get lost or that I was disgusting since my real heart remained wonderfully pure. In actuality, I was just as bad on the inside as those lying idiots. What was up with these elaborate self-defence measures? But if I didn’t resort to all this, my chicken heart wouldn’t be able to handle it!

If people can throw away their shame, get over it and stomp it into the ground, then they can achieve most of the things they want. In ninety per cent of cases, people can do something about their problems if they have money and some mental strength.

Case in point: If the two of us were to act equally shamelessly, then only I would have to cast away my dignity. A good person acting like a victim is the most powerful being as far as society is concerned. People who do horrible things when they think nobody’s looking and then act all wounded when the going gets tough are effective at executing this clever plan.

That said, it was only effective in situations where it was assumed that a bigger victim did not exist.

That’s why I could now sneer so cynically and pathetically.

“You listened to all those crying girls, but you won’t lend an ear to someone like me? Aren’t you discriminating against me on my looks? Or maybe you’re sexist?”

“Knock it off. Playing the victim is a scummy thing to do.”

“Could you stop being so judgemental? When you put it that way, aren’t the girls crying over there scummy as well?”

Silence met my response.

Suzaku did not deny my words. In truth, inciting all that verbal abuse against Chigusa had probably not been an act Suzaku was proud of.

“They knew she was a loan shark and still they borrowed money from her. Now they can’t return it, so they use you to play the debt moratorium card. Striking someone down in public is something they didn’t even do in the Kamakura period.”

“That’s not what I’m doing! I was just making the truth clear, and if I had to use methods that would get me reproached…”

“So you mean denouncing her and convicting her?”

“…If necessary,” Suzaku said heavily.

Around him, the voices of approval got louder. I see, so Suzaku was a symbol of justice, the correct embodiment of multiple subjective opinions.

Because of that, I had to use whatever means possible to turn the tables on him.

“…Then you should denounce and convict yourself.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been ripping your followers off too. Haven’t they been investing in you?”

“Quit it with these false accusations. I haven’t been doing anything like that at all. Also, it’s not selfish to accept charity in the first place.”

…Well, damn… Them’s the breaks.

I was hoping that by bluffing and asking a leading question, I could somehow take advantage of any small crack he showed, but Suzaku Reiji was calm and self-possessed, and his innocence did not waver one tiny bit as he spoke.

His matter-of-fact attitude and upright words left me, on the other hand, at a loss for words. I’d be screwed if I fell silent here, so I did some half-assed grumbling to play for time.

“…Um, uhhh. Uh, you know. Like, you know, otaku, the types who value money and things over all else. What sad, lonely people they are. There are some things money can’t buy, like time and people and feelings.”

“Well, I guess… Of course, I think that comes down to personal opinion.”

Awesome, this guy was an idiot. He had the biggest stick up his ass. And I guess he was normally a nice guy. I spouted nonsense out of desperation and he still gave me a serious answer. The thought of saying nasty things to such a nice guy made my heart twinge and throb with excitement.

“I know, right? That means you’re even scummier than Chigusa. You rip off things that are more important than money and act like everything’s fine.”

“I said I don’t do anything like that,” Suzaku said disgustedly.

Heh. The corner of my mouth twitched upwards.

“How about keeping people waiting until you go home? You don’t intend to go out with someone, but you keep leading them on. Aren’t you unjustly taking something from them?”

Suzaku seemed to understand what I had said. He glanced at Gyarumi-senpai with a startled expression.

“That’s something she wanted to do…”

“Ohhh? So you’re not the one in the wrong if they’re doing it? You’re saying it’s all right for someone to suffer and get hurt because they agreed to it. Basically, you’re saying it all comes down to self-responsibility? In that case, all of Chigusa’s victims ought to be responsible for themselves. You might open your eyes to the monetary theft Chigusa has caused, but you’ve closed your eyes to your own spiritual theft.”

“That’s sophistry, damn it!”

Precisely. However, sound arguments aren’t the only things that convince people. Sound arguments don’t get through to people who are entrenched in their position.

“You might not be aware of it yourself, but you’re a bad person at heart. You take people’s time, which is way more important than their money, and you squander their good will and emotions, which has far more weight than the things they own by a longshot. On top of that, you put your own influence on a pedestal and denounce others. Ha, you’re the lowest of the low…”

“Your logic doesn’t hold up. That kind of pointless quibbling makes no sense!” a furious Suzaku retorted vehemently.

Around him, his followers’ voices rang out—a combination of “shut up!”, “die!” and “shut up and die!”

I plugged my ears deftly and closed my eyes. Still, I kept my mouth open and sneered at Suzaku. Right from the start, I had zero intention of having a debate. I was fine with bitching and poking holes at him, and if that didn’t work I’d divert his attention and declare victory over him.

Keh. A chuckle made its way out of my throat. “Like I said, I get nervous and have trouble saying what I mean. My communication skills aren’t so good. You’re a bully if you shout threats at me. Try to understand the feelings of those who don’t have it so good. Think about the weaklings and how they’re feeling! That arrogance of yours is what makes you the lowest of the low, Mr. Student Council President.”

Suzaku rasped and let out a low groan. And then, he glared at me with eyes filled with hatred and contempt.

“You really are scum. Kuzu…”

I did a massive shrug in a way that all but said: UH-HUH, YES, MY NAME IS HARUMA KUZUOAKA!

And with that, Suzaku grabbed me by the collar and held me down, gnashing his teeth.