Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 8 - Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Welcome to the Den of Crime

“A criminal enterprise eradication campaign?”

Saya had been summoned quite suddenly to the United Magic Association branch office in Merchant City Triones.

Waiting for her was her instructor, the Midnight Witch, Sheila. She stood in front of a poster, puffing on her pipe. The poster featured an image of a witch wearing a smug grin and the inauspicious slogan THE CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE ERADICATION CAMPAIGN IS UNDERWAY! LET’S SNUFF OUT MEMBERS OF CRIMINAL ORGANIZATIONS UNTIL NOT A SINGLE ONE REMAINS!

Saya’s former instructor exhaled a plume of smoke. “That’s right, these are dangerous times we’re living in, so the United Magic Association leadership has decided to do something about it.”

Saya waved a hand in front of her face to avoid inhaling the toxic fumes. “So more specifically, what do we do for this campaign?”

“Good question.” Sheila nodded. “Like it says on the poster, the United Magic Association is going to be rooting out the criminal elements operating in every city and country and working behind the scenes to eradicate them.”

“I see.”

“By the way, this poster has already been put up all over the place.”

“That really doesn’t seem like working behind the scenes, does it?”

“Well anyway, the campaign is already underway.”

“And why exactly is your photo on the poster?”

Behind Sheila, who was wearing a smug face as she stood in front of the poster, was another image of her on the poster itself, also wearing a smug grin and holding her pipe in her mouth. The concentration of smugness was so high, it made Saya’s eyes hurt.

“Why, you ask? Obviously, it’s because I’m the most fitting person to eradicate said criminal enterprises.”

“……”

“What?”

Saya’s teacher narrowed her eyes sharply. She was the very image of a scoundrel, practically oozing bad attitude. Perhaps she had been selected as the face of the campaign because she looked like the type of person who might run a criminal enterprise.

That’s what Saya was thinking, but she knew better than to say that to her teacher, so she looked away and said, “Nothing at all.”

Sheila looked Saya up and down. “Well, that’s what’s going on. You’re not busy, right? Come with me to crush one of these criminal enterprises.”

Her tone was very casual as she asked Saya to join her on this errand.

“Are you serious?”

“Very serious. Here, take this.” Sheila waved a piece of paper in Saya’s face. “The first step is to go investigate this place.”

It was a map.

The name of a café was circled.

Sheila said to Saya, who was staring at the map, “The organization that I want you to investigate runs a café that appears to be a legitimate business. Obviously, it only appears that way—really, it’s a front for the organization’s criminal operations.”

According to Sheila, hardly any normal customers ever went to the café, and most of the people who did go in looked like they were there to buy drugs or hire an assassin or something. It made her wonder just what kind of business was being done inside. Unfortunately, she hadn’t yet been able to gather any evidence proving that the café was truly a hotbed of crime.

That meant that she wanted her to go undercover as a customer, gather evidence of any crimes being committed in the café, and bust up the organization behind it.

Uh-huh, I see…

Saya nodded.

“And can I turn you down?”

“Of course not.”

Her teacher cut her down ruthlessly and puffed on her pipe again.

Saya tried to indicate her displeasure by waving a hand in front of her face to clear the smoke, but her teacher didn’t seem to notice.

The girl felt pride in the fact that all the locals knew about Yuuri the Traveler.

Her light brown hair was lovely, tied up behind her head in two pigtails. When this cool beauty walked through town, she inevitably attracted a lot of attention.

Today was no different. As she walked through the center of town, its residents whispered and pointed at her—at Yuuri, who could hear them talking about her.

Ah, I’m sure they can’t help but be amazed at the sight of my beauty, at how cool and beautiful I am, right? Heh-heh-heh! As I thought, I’m seriously hard-boiled.

Dressing herself up in unearned confidence, the girl walked right past the ignorant masses.

“Hey, that girl there…”

“No question about it…she’s that bothersome customer who used to drink coffee at that one café around here until she was covered in puke…”

“It’s puke girl…”

“Hey, make sure you don’t let her into your shop…”

The people definitely weren’t whispering about how amazing or beautiful she was, but that part didn’t make it to her ears.

This girl would try to act cool and drink coffee, but she always ended up puking all over herself. She had already been banned from several establishments, but every time it happened, she came up with a convenient excuse to tell herself. For example, she was sure that the only reason she’d been banned from so many cafés was because of her tough image as an outlaw. The truth of the matter was, unfortunately, entirely lost on her. Nothing could shake her unearned confidence. The girl seemed to have a few screws loose.

But there was a reason why this girl, who was nothing more than an ordinary mage, was so enamored with words like hard-boiled and outlaw.

Although Yuuri was now a simple traveler, she had previously been a member of the Mafia and still craved the excitement of a life of crime. Even now that she had made up her mind to become a great witch, her feelings on the matter hadn’t changed much.

“……”

In the course of her travels, Yuuri had learned of a place called the Country of Mages, which only admitted magic users. Figuring that that was the best place to develop her magical talents, she’d decided to make her way there.

But she had plenty of time to travel and didn’t need to rush. So while she made her way to the Country of Mages, Yuuri spent plenty of time taking in the sights.

“…Hmm. How interesting.”

In this country, too, she was enjoying some sightseeing.

As she walked, Yuuri spread open a piece of paper.

It was a map that marked the location of a particular café. Yuuri had heard that here, in the Merchant City Triones, there was a café run by a gang of criminals that used it as a front for all sorts of unspeakable crimes…or at least that was the convoluted concept for what was apparently a very gimmicky new theme restaurant.

“Apparently, there’s actually another café around here somewhere that really is a front for some kind of criminal organization, but…”

But the place where she was heading was just an ordinary theme restaurant. This city had seen a sudden surge of new theme restaurants lately.

Come to think of it, that café I went to before had maids wearing cat ears or something, meowing as they drew ketchup hearts on omelets.

Yuuri cast her memory back on the scene.

“A hard-boiled girl like me would never grovel like that,” she had scoffed as she drank her coffee. Then she’d promptly thrown up, and they’d banned her from the premises.

At any rate, setting all that aside, she was currently heading for the café that was set up to seem like a criminal enterprise was running it.

If Yuuri’s goal was to become a witch, she couldn’t afford to be afraid of something so mundane as organized crime. If she wanted to be truly hard-boiled, she first needed to experience some fake crimes to build up her courage.

“…Well, since I used to work at a place that was sort of run by criminals, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” she said to herself.

“Hmph…yeah, there’s nothing to it.” With a flip of her hair, she walked on.

Then, bam!

“Kyah!”

Apparently, reading a map while walking had been the wrong thing to do. Yuuri had promptly crashed into a person walking in the other direction.

The sudden impact sent Yuuri sprawling. Two pieces of paper fluttered through the air, then fell to the ground. Across from Yuuri was another girl, who had also landed hard on her backside.

Yuuri stood up in a fluster. “S-sorry…! I got a little distracted looking at my map…” She picked up her map as she apologized in a panic, which wasn’t very hard-boiled of her.

“No, no! I’m sorry. I’m the one who was just looking at my map, and not where I was going…” The other girl stood up at about the same time and picked up her paper, too.

I see, so apparently she was absorbed in her map just like me, Yuuri thought.

“……”

But when she looked at the girl’s chest, she immediately recognized that the two of them were very different. A star-shaped brooch and a moon-shaped brooch were displayed with pride upon the girl’s robe.

In other words, the girl before her eyes was a witch, and what’s more, she was working for the United Magic Association.

She’s not a normal mage like me. She’s a witch, with an official position and everything. Even though we’re around the same age.

“Grrr…” Bitterness and jealousy accumulated in Yuuri’s cheeks as she puffed them out.

“Huh? What is it? Why are you glaring at me…?” The witch was looking about in surprise. She wore a black robe and a black triangular hat. Judging by her features, she appeared to be from the east, and she had hair as black as coal and jet-black eyes. She was all black, from head to toe.

Yuuri tilted her head quizzically.

Huh…I feel like I’ve seen the triangular hat that this girl is wearing somewhere before…? Where could it have been?

“Well, whatever, it doesn’t matter,” Yuuri muttered quickly, dismissing any further questions. She was someone who lived every day sloppily and without much care.

“Well, um…anyway, sorry… You’re not hurt, are you?” the unnamed witch asked awkwardly.

“Oh, no! I’m the one who should say sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going…” Yuuri lowered her head and bowed to the witch. It was a surprisingly normal bow for someone who was aiming to become a hard-boiled woman.

The two girls spent a few more moments apologizing to each other before eventually going their separate ways, staring at their maps again.

The café was closer than Yuuri had expected.

“…Here, huh?”

She stood before the shop, looked up at the sign, then opened the door.

What she failed to notice was that the paper in her hand did not, in fact, direct her to a gimmicky new theme restaurant, but to an actual, for-real front for organized crime.

She hadn’t noticed that she and the witch had swapped maps when they collided.

  Gimmicky New Theme Restaurant

“Welcome! I’m terribly sorry, but we’re currently quite crowded… Do you mind sharing a table?”

After bumping into a girl she had never seen before, Saya finally arrived at the café that was supposedly being used as a front for a criminal organization.

When she opened the door, a bell chimed, and a waitress appeared from the back wearing an apologetic smile.

The interior of the café was divided into smaller private rooms, set up in such a way that made it difficult to see how crowded it really was. That wasn’t enough to arouse her suspicions on its own, though it would be difficult to snoop if she was stuck sharing a table. Still, it would attract too much attention if she pitched a fit and demanded a table to herself, so instead Saya just nodded and answered, “That’s fine.”

“Right, then. This way, please.”

After bowing politely, the waitress led Saya into the café. Though it was the middle of the day, no sunlight penetrated to the interior, which was enveloped in a gloomy atmosphere. The lighting fixtures hanging from the ceiling gave off a dull glow. Overall, the whole place was suspicious. It seemed like something shady might be going down at that very moment.

It was enough to make Saya wonder whether she might be able to stop a backroom deal on the spot if she opened one of the doors to a private room.

The waitress proceeded a short distance into the restaurant, opened one of the doors, said a few words to the customer inside, then urged Saya in. “Please go ahead.”

Apparently, a staff member had already spoken to the person inside.

After Saya said, “Thanks,” and returned the waitress’s bow, she stepped inside the private room.

“Hello.”

The customer in the room nodded in greeting.

She was a pretty girl, with white hair cut short, held in place by a wide headband. Her green eyes looked up at Saya, and she smiled gently.

“I am Amnesia. And you are?”

  Actual Den of Crime and Iniquity

Inside, the café was divided into several private rooms. The whole place had an incredibly suspicious atmosphere.

The host certainly looked wild, with buzz cut hair and a scar over his eye. “…Hey.” The man was terribly blunt. “Sorry, missy, we’re all full up. You mind sharing?” He scowled at Yuuri. His eyes were clearly dangerous, like the eyes of a predator that had its prey in its sights.

Even though it was obvious that he wanted the girl to hurry up and leave, Yuuri had quite a few screws loose. “Hmph…no problem!” she answered with another flip of her hair. She was an idiot.

“…Tch.” The host clicked his tongue once, then led her deeper into the restaurant.

Usually, one little mage wouldn’t concern the hardened criminals that ran this place. But recently, the United Magic Association had implemented their Criminal Enterprise Eradication Campaign, and although nobody was sure what exactly that was supposed to mean, this den of crime was still on high alert.

Arriving at a room deeper inside the restaurant, the host exchanged a few words with the customer already occupying the private room, then urged Yuuri inside.

“Heya.” With a perfunctory greeting, she set foot into the small room.

“Hi.”

Inside was a single witch. She was dressed in a lavishly decorated blue robe and wore a star-shaped brooch on her breast. Her hair was the same blue color and came down to about her shoulders. She gave it a dramatic toss, and in that gesture, Yuuri could practically see that the woman considered sharing a table beneath her.

“My name is Sharon,” she said confidently. “As you can see, I am a traveling witch. And you are?”

Something about her made Yuuri feel like she ought to address her respectfully.

“I’m Yuuri.” Putting on her best manners, Yuuri sat down across from Miss Sharon.

The host with the buzz cut and the bad attitude set some water down on the table. “Enjoy,” he said, and left without taking their order.

Yuuri could see that Sharon also had an empty water glass in front of her. Apparently, she, too, had only just arrived.

“I see you are a mage, too.” Sharon poured more water into her empty glass as she spoke. “I never expected to meet another magic user in a place like this… By any chance, were you also approached and asked to help with the effort to eradicate organized crime?”

Sharon recalled arriving at the Merchant City Triones. She’d spent the whole day walking around with a smug look on her face. But it is the fate of travelers dressed as witches to always get caught up in some troublesome business or other.

That day, she had been approached by the distinguished leaders of the city. “Recently, criminal enterprises have started using ordinary cafés as fronts to deal drugs or set up contract killings. Madam Witch, would you please stamp them out somehow?”

Sharon thought that they would be better off asking the United Magic Association for something like that, but they told her, “Well, recently, that organization has launched a Criminal Enterprise Eradication Campaign, whatever that’s supposed to mean. Apparently, while this campaign is going on, their fees have gone up.”

In other words, it was a waste of money to go to the United Magic Association, so they wanted to leave it up to amateurs and pocket the difference.

Sharon definitely should have turned them down. She was not a real witch at all, just an ordinary girl who liked to dress up like one.

…No way, I don’t want to die yet.

Naturally, she felt weak-kneed as she listened to their pleas, and she knew that she should find any reason to refuse.

But Sharon said, “Heh-heh! Leave it to me. I’ll demolish those criminal enterprises!”

She had gotten carried away and accepted the commission. Sharon was, by nature, very easy to manipulate and couldn’t say no if someone flattered her.

And so today, she had infiltrated one of the cafés being used as a front.

Eee…what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do…? Now an actual mage has shown up, thank goodness… Now everything will probably be all right, right? Right? I’ll be okay, right?

But owing to her extreme nervousness, she hadn’t even been able to bring herself to order and had been sitting there continuing to drink water since she’d arrived. Her stomach was already sloshy with liquid. If someone were to punch her in the gut, there would be no avoiding a future in which she was covered in vomit. Actually, that was a possibility even if she didn’t get punched, because of her nerves.

She was certain that the mage, Yuuri, sitting before her had also arrived here through a similar course of events. Sharon was overjoyed to have found a partner. She was so happy that she was even thinking about how she could pawn the whole job off on Yuuri.

Sharon gazed at Yuuri, waiting to be saved.

Yuuri was staring at the menu. “You know, it’s my dream to become a great witch one day,” she said, “and in order to become a great witch, you have to be able to deal with a few criminals, right? That is the reason I came here today.” For some reason, she seemed awfully pleased with herself.

If Sharon had been in her right mind, she would have wondered what the heck the strange girl was going on about. Unfortunately, she was not even close to being in her right mind. Fear and anxiety clouded her thoughts.

“Oh, that’s promising…,” she whispered, low enough that Yuuri couldn’t hear. She looked at the other girl with an envious gaze. Then she batted her lashes in a girly way at this mage whom she had just met, whom she thought she could rely on.

“Say, Sharon?” Yuuri looked up at her after studying the menu for a while. “Have you decided what to order?” In this café, there was a bell on each table that would summon a staff member when rung.

“Huh?”

But wouldn’t ringing the bell mean that we wanted to take part in something illegal…?

“No, I haven’t decided, but…”

I haven’t prepared myself…

“Oh, sorry, I already rang the bell.”

“……”

But I haven’t…prepared myself…

Sharon puffed out her cheeks, indignant that Yuuri would do such a thing.

The fierce-looking host with the buzz cut came right away.

“Whaddaya want?”

“What’s my order, you ask? Surely you must know?” Yuuri pointed to the menu as she spoke.

Coffee.

Incidentally, in this café, coffee was a code word for narcotics, but Sharon didn’t know that, and neither did Yuuri. She had no idea what she was ordering.

“……” Sharon didn’t really understand what was going on but decided she had better copy the mage for now. “And I’m sure you know what I’m going to ask for as well?”

In a word…coffee.

“Sure, two coffees.”

The fierce-looking host collected their menus and left the room.

“Heh-heh-heh…” Yuuri stared at his retreating back with a bold smile. The smile didn’t have any particular meaning behind it.

“Hmm-hmm!” With a triumphant expression on her face, Sharon watched the host leave. Of course, there was no particular reason for her smile, either.

Neither the reckless mage who had come to visit this café nor the careless girl who was dressed up as a witch had any idea what was going on.

Watching the two girls from a distance, the café staff trembled with fear.

“Hey…there’s no doubt about it… Those two musta been put up to it by the United Magic Association…,” Part-Timer A cried. “Just look at ’em… Look at those faces… They’re definitely here to take us out…”

“It’s all over…,” Part-Timer B despaired. “The Association figured out our shop’s secret…”

“Unbelievable…” Part-Timer C hung his head. “They ordered two coffees… They’re planning to nail us for dealing drugs…”

“Don’t lose your heads.” The manager appeared. It was the intimidating-looking guy with the buzz cut. He had been pretending to be a host while serving the two customers.

“Ah, big bro!” The three part-timers looked at him with envy. Everyone called the manager “big bro” around the café.

“It’s fine… The fact that those two haven’t gotten violent tells me that they’re still trying to gather evidence. Be courteous and tell them to come back some other time…”

And so a silent battle pitting a den of criminals against a mage with a screw loose and a girl who was only cosplaying began.

  Gimmicky New Theme Restaurant

“Wow…so you travel for work, is that right, Saya? How cool!”

Even though they were in a private room, it was easy to tell through the walls that the café was booming. Amid the noisy chatter, Amnesia maintained an extremely calm demeanor, nodding and enjoying Saya’s story.

Long ago, in a place called the Country of Mages, Saya had learned magic from a witch with ashen hair and then worked hard to become like her. To make a long story short, that whole sequence of events was the reason that Saya was now traveling as a wandering witch.

Saya was delighted to recount how she would never have had her happy present-day life without meeting that witch. For some reason, she also shared that she was in love with that witch. She added that the other witch was probably in love with her, too.

Privately, Amnesia thought that the girl was kind of speaking nonsense.

“I also suffered some hardships in the past.”

After listening to Saya talk for a while, Amnesia also launched into her own life story, telling it in fits and starts.

She told the sad story of a lonely girl who lost her memory every day.

Coincidentally, she had also been saved by a traveling witch, and they had returned together to her hometown, flirting all the while. That was more or less how she told her story. Amnesia tried to use a little humor to keep the tale from getting too heavy.

She went on to talk about how now she was just an ordinary traveler, searching out a new hometown with her little sister.

But apparently the two of them had not actually been able to leave any of their worries or hardships behind, even since starting their travels. The clothing she was wearing was the uniform of an Order of Holy Knights from her hometown. Amnesia said, “We didn’t have any money saved up, so we’ve been traveling on the cheap…and we don’t really have any proper clothing…” She averted her eyes awkwardly.

Saya wanted to tell her that the uniform suited her, but since the person wearing it didn’t seem to think so, she just replied, “…I see… That sounds rough…” She nodded with sympathy for the other girl’s difficulties.

“……”

“……”

After the two of them had revealed their pasts, the conversation broke off for a moment. Both of their stories had one particular thing in common.

A witch with ashen hair, huh…?

Amnesia was sure she knew that witch from somewhere.

A witch with ashen hair, she says…?

Saya, too, felt sure she knew that witch from somewhere.

“……”

“……”

“What would we do if she was the same person? Oh-hoh-hoh…”

“Really, I wonder what we would do? Eh-heh-heh…”

A strange air of tension gripped the table.

In any case, Saya’s reasons for visiting this café did not include confirming her suspicions that her acquaintance Elaina had been amassing secret girlfriends all over the place without her knowledge. She was a little curious about the witch who had saved the girl sitting before her, but Saya stopped herself from prying any further.

Anyway, she could tell that Amnesia had finished her story, so she perused the menu.

“……”

I guess I’d better get on with doing my job, Saya thought as she opened her menu. First of all, I need to pin down whether this shop is the site of these backroom dealings… I need to choose my order carefully here…

“Ah!” Amnesia showed Saya her own menu, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Look, Saya! Look at this! They’ve got ‘drunken hotpot’! That sounds like it’s got some drugs in it. How fun!”

That’s not fun!

It was enough to make Saya want to scream. What was this girl saying? And also, what was the deal with a café serving hotpot?

“And the drinks are all fun, too. ‘Drowned melon soda’ and ‘hanged coffee’ and ‘poison tea.’ Looks like the drink menu is all themed around ways to kill someone.”

Amnesia had come to the café in search of a part-time job. She had nowhere to go and no money and thought that working in a theme restaurant sounded interesting.

“Isn’t this café amazing? The names of the food and drinks all use such dangerous words. It’s almost like they’re doing dangerous things behind the scenes—”

“Shh!”

Amnesia was about to say that they’d done a good job on the setup, but Saya forcefully pressed a hand against Amnesia’s lips and shushed her. Amnesia struggled, but Saya whispered urgently, “You mustn’t say such dangerous things out loud! What do you think this place is?! I came here on an undercover investigation!”

Saya had stealthily penetrated the criminals’ hideout. She was very obviously dressed as a witch, but somehow, she still thought that she hadn’t been noticed yet. So she wanted to avoid making a big fuss for no reason.

Saya expressed her anger with a grunt.

Amnesia struggled again and wondered what the girl across from her was thinking.

She’s really acting like this place is run by criminals!

“Anyway, please don’t act like you suspect anything! Jeez!” Saya was really mad.

This girl is a little hard to understand, Amnesia thought to herself again.

  Actual Den of Crime and Iniquity

The employees were in an uproar over the table that had ordered nothing but two coffees. That was because coffee was a code word for narcotic drugs, and the two people purchasing it were none other than two mages.

“If we serve them drugs, we’ll definitely get arrested… This is bad…,” Part-Timer A cried.

“It’s all over… I’m changing careers…,” Part-Timer B despaired.

“Don’t lose your heads, you guys.” The manager had brewed some normal coffees. “You ready? For now, take them these coffees like everything’s normal, then come right back.”

“B-big bro!” Part-Timers A and B made bitter faces. “But what if, when we give them the coffees, they yell at us and say, ‘This isn’t what we ordered! Give us some drugs!’”

“Don’t worry. First of all, I think those two are probably not here on behalf of the United Magic Association. Don’t you think so, too? I’m sure it’s just our imaginations. Right. Those are just normal customers.”

As the manager said, Sharon and Yuuri were just normal people with no connection to the United Magic Association, but still his hand shook as he poured their coffees, and the dark liquid spilled from the cups, undercutting his attempt at seeming confident.

“A-all right…for now, someone go and deliver their coffees…”

The two cups of coffee were ready, poured almost to overflowing.

Both Part-Timers A and B thought that they would rather not carry such hazardous cups.

That’s when it happened.

“Wait a minute, big bro.” Part-Timer C appeared all of a sudden. “Shouldn’t we mix some poison into the coffee?”

As he spoke, Part-Timer C poured some powdered poison into the cups and stirred them up. This was a type of poison meant for injections. He had done it so quickly that no one had had the chance to stop him.

“You…!” The manager stared at C, dumbfounded. “What do you think you’re doing?! That poison is strong stuff… It could kill them!”

“It’s coffee. The aroma is strong so they probably won’t notice.”

“That’s not the problem!”

“Well, if they do notice, I’ll thank you to take the blame, Mr. Manager.”

“Are you some kind of demon?”

Ignoring the manager’s rebukes, Part-Timer C grabbed the tray from him and said, “All right, I’m taking these over,” and headed for the private room where Sharon and Yuuri were waiting.

Heh-heh-heh…I don’t have any specific grudge with you two, but…I do hate mages, so…the two of you can do me a favor and die!

Part-Timer C despised witches from the very bottom of his heart.

He hadn’t always been like that, of course. Actually, he had been a normal guy whose heart pounded fast at the sight of a girl dressed in witches’ robes. All men like a girl in a robe, after all. Before, when he had been living in a different city, he had fallen head over heels in love with a traveling witch who had ashen hair. Being a healthy young man, he’d asked her on a date several times.

“Um, so I was wondering, do you, like, have a boyfriend, or anything? If you like, I could—”

“Impossible.” She had turned him down normally the first time.

“No way.” The second time, she spat as she rejected him.

“Do you know what a mirror is?” The third time, she had told him indirectly that they weren’t a good match.

“……” From the fourth time on, she had silently looked at him like he was a piece of garbage.

“Would you cut it out already?” Around the tenth time he asked her, he nearly got himself killed.

Ever since then, he had harbored a deep hatred for mages.

Most people would just call it unjustified resentment.

“Sorry for the wait. Here’s your coffee.”

And so Part-Timer C carried two brimming cups of coffee over to the private room.

Now you can drop dead! You evil mages!

He set the cups down with a clatter in front of the two girls.

The poison that Part-Timer C had mixed into the coffee had a pretty strong smell. The odor of the poison mixed with the rich aroma of the coffee and produced an even more nauseating stench.

The thick smell permeated the small room.

“Thank y—bleeeeeehhh!” Yuuri inhaled just the slightest bit of the smell and puked immediately.

“Bleeeeeech!” Sharon puked in sympathy, thanks to her severe nervousness.

Part-Timer C went back wearing an expression that said he had accomplished the job.

“Big bro, I did it.”

“But they didn’t even drink any…”

  Gimmicky New Theme Restaurant

“Anyway! Are you listening? I came here today for work, get it? This is an undercover investigation! I’m undercover! So it would be really bad if anyone realized that I’m from the United Magic Association. Please be very careful,” Saya insisted sullenly.

Across from her, Amnesia was nodding pleasantly and chuckling to herself. “Yes, yes, I see, an undercover investigation, yes. I’m sorry.”

She’s looking at me like I’m a child…, Saya thought to herself. I’m just doing my job as seriously as I can, so why do I have to get treated like this?

The reason for it was completely lost on Saya.

“…Miss?”

Also completely lost on Saya was the fact that the waitress had suddenly reappeared in their private room despite their not having ordered anything yet. “……” Standing in front of their table, the waitress looked around, then stealthily slipped small baggies into each of their hands. “…It’s what you asked for.”

“Um, what’s this…?” The baggies were suspicious-looking.

“My, my, what strange customers you are.” The waitress chuckled, making Saya’s hair stand on end. “You came to our shop because you wanted this…right? Or else…did you have some other reason for coming here?”

“……”

Saya opened her baggie and shuddered. Inside was some kind of powder.

Huh? I thought that this place was pretending to be an ordinary café, but…isn’t this kind of obvious? I mean, it’s like they’re not even trying to hide it.

Saya was, of course, actually holding ordinary sugar. As part of the presentation, the staff at the café handed its customers sugar as if they were conducting a backroom drug deal.

“Yes, that, and…take this, too…” After the sugar, the waitress set several pieces of candy on the table with suspicious movements.

“Um, what’s this…?”

“Heh-heh-heh…this is…a special little something, you know…made right here in the shop. You can do as you like with it. Consume it here, or take it home and sell it for a high price…heh-heh-heh…”

These are definitely drugs!

It was, of course, ordinary candy.

“Relax and enjoy…”

Then the waitress left the private room, wearing a satisfied expression.

Amnesia stared at the menu, looking somewhat crestfallen. “…We lost our chance to order, huh?”

“Go ahead and choose some food,” Saya said, the surprise on her face changing quickly into determination. “I’ve got work to do.”

She poked her head out of the private room and looked around the shop.

Something was strange about this café. From the next table over, she could hear an exchange unfolding, “Oh, you are evil indeed!” (It was just someone paying the bill.) And one table farther away, two people were having a discussion. “So then…which one of them do you want to take out?” “This one.” (It was someone ordering food to take home.)

Let me see… Wasn’t this place supposed to be posing as an ordinary café? Saya wondered to herself. This isn’t at all what I expected…

Suddenly, a scream came from deeper within the shop.

  Actual Den of Crime and Iniquity

“Heh-heh-heh…”

“Hoh-hoh-hoh…”

Sharon and Yuuri faced each other across the table, each laughing a bit too hard, like they were both thinking of some sinister plot.

They were crying as they laughed, wiping down the table that was covered in their vomit.

“This is bad…they’re bad news…”

Watching them from a distance, the manager shuddered with fear.

“What do we do, boss? Kill ’em?”

On the other hand, Part-Timer C was still spoiling for a fight.

“Heh-heh-heh…”

The coffee they just served us was definitely poisoned, right? There’s no doubt about it… They’ve figured out why I’m here… Waaah…I want to go home…

Sharon was panicking to herself even as she laughed.

“Hoh-hoh-hoh…”

……………………………………………………………………I puked again.

On the other hand, Yuuri was just feeling disheartened.

The two of them took a breather after cleaning up their own puke, and then…

“Excuse me, waiter?”

“Waiter, over here, please.”

…they called for the staff.

They had humiliated themselves beyond redemption, but Sharon rang the call bell repeatedly, trying to look as calm as possible, while Yuuri let loose with a jeer.

“Hurry up and get over here!”

Part-Timer C appeared immediately.

“What can I do for you, ladies?”

“We don’t need any more of what you gave us before. Hurry up and show us the good stuff,” Yuuri said with a snap of her fingers. She was still under the impression that this den of crime was actually a theme restaurant.

Incredible…what a confident attitude…! I’ve got to learn from her…

Sharon, finger still on the call button, looked at Yuuri with envy in her eyes. No matter how far she traveled, she was still an ordinary girl who felt a thrill in her heart when she was around magic users.

“How were they?” the manager asked Part-Timer C quietly once he had returned to the back of the shop. The manager had already completely lost any air of authority that he might have once had.

“They told me to bring out the ‘good stuff.’”

“…They’ll ruin us… They’re planning to get proof that we sell drugs so they can shut us down…”

“What should we do?”

“For now, let’s be evasive and give them some normal coffee this time.”

Part-Timer C hurriedly poured two normal coffees and returned to the girls’ private room.

But when he set the coffees down on the table, both of them let out exaggerated sighs.

“Hey, man. Are you making fun of me here?” Sharon demanded. “Do you really expect me to believe that this is all your café has to offer?” She was wearing a triumphant expression, obviously getting carried away with herself again. “Bring us the stuff you’re making in the back. Want me to blast you with a spell? Huh? Is that what you want? Sheesh.”

Yuuri was just really hoping not to puke again.

In the end, they sent the two coffees back without touching them.

“Big bro, this is no good.”

Part-Timer C gave up. Being harassed by that witch once had led him to the realization that surrender is the first step to enlightenment.

“Fine, then let’s run away.”

Figuring that if Part-Timer C said it was impossible, then it really was impossible, the manager was ready to give up on the café. So the criminals that ran this den of iniquity prepared to make their escape, lest they be discovered by Sharon and Yuuri.

  Gimmicky New Theme Restaurant

“What do you mean, you don’t have any money? Huh?”

“P-please forgive me…!”

When Saya peeked out of the private room to look around the inside of the shop, she saw a quarrel taking place at a table farther in. A male staff member had grabbed a customer by the lapel and was glaring harshly at him. “Hey, buddy, no one buys drugs in my café without paying!”

“B-but…the price has gone up so much, and I—”

“Don’t give me excuses!”

The man pounded on the table.

“Eeek!”

The customer shriveled even more.

It was obvious that this thug was happy to pick on someone weaker. The whole café had fallen silent at the spectacle. Most of the doors to the private rooms were open, and most of the other customers were watching what was happening.

“How awful…!”

Of course, Saya was watching, too.

“My goodness!”

Amnesia was doing the same.

But the two men who were attracting all the attention acted just like no one was looking at them and carried on with their shouting and cowering.

Not one person made a move to save the man who was being attacked, and not one person made a move to stop the man who was attacking him.

Everyone watching just mumbled to themselves, content to remain nothing more than bystanders.

“If you can’t pay with money, then there’s no helping it.” The staff member tugged on the customer’s arm and said, “There’s nothing to do but to get you to pay with your body.”

“M-my body…?”

“You’ll sell me your organs.”

“…!” The customer shook with fear. “W-wait, please! Not that! Anything but that—”

“Quit complaining! Come on, hurry up!”

Then the staff member, dragging the reluctant customer behind him, started walking deeper into the shop. But as before, no one stopped him, and no one helped the other man.

It was little wonder, for as far as anyone could tell by listening, the man being dragged away was getting his just deserts, and there was no good reason why any of them should stick their necks out for him.

Well, actually—

“Wait right there!”

Someone was blocking the way, with both arms spread wide. Wearing a black robe and a black triangular hat, with hair the color of charcoal, she was a witch and a traveler. And…

“My name is Saya, and I work for the United Magic Association. I’ve seen the whole thing. Unhand that customer immediately!”

She readied her wand.

Whether she had lost her patience with no one helping, or whether she had felt a burning sense of duty to stop the evil unfolding before her, there was no hesitation in her eyes.

“……” For a moment, the employee looked utterly bewildered, then he said, “…What’s your deal? Are you trying to rescue this man?”

“I don’t think it’s nice to bully weaker people!” Saya asserted bluntly.

“……” “……”

The employee gave her an incredulous look.

Actually, so did the customer.

“My goodness.”

Amnesia, on the other hand, was absentmindedly rolling a piece of candy around in her mouth, watching from afar as her tablemate, Saya, stuck her nose into someone else’s business.

“Um, miss…” That was exactly the moment when the waitress appeared at Amnesia’s side. “Exactly what is the other young lady doing?”

Amnesia wasn’t sure how to answer that. After all, she had met Saya only a little while ago. “I don’t really know, but I think she’s going to stop the quarrel probably?” Amnesia answered quickly.

“But that’s just one of our regular performances…”

This café paid members of a nearby theater troupe to act out scenes of dangerous criminal activity, in order to give the customers a more exciting experience. It was all part of the restaurant’s theme.

Of course, in the original skit, an actor playing the part of a noble bystander was supposed to intervene. That was the reason that none of the other customers had intervened. But since Saya had jumped in, he had nothing to do and was standing around awkwardly next to the waitress. “This certainly isn’t going as planned…,” he remarked.

“Ah, is that so?” Amnesia released her grip on the saber that she had been about to draw. If the waitress hadn’t spoken to her, she’d intended to go back Saya up.

“Miss, is that other girl…all right…?” The waitress looked at Amnesia. “I mean… she looks like a mage, and our shop would be liable if she were to injure any of the actors…”

“Mmm…”

The waitress seemed to be worried that Saya might do something reckless.

“She’s probably not all right. In fact, she’s just the kind of dummy who might start firing off magic spells in a place like this, mistakenly thinking that we’re all in grave danger. Besides, I only just met that girl a little while ago, but…” Amnesia looked at Saya again and said, “She definitely seems like the type to take things too seriously.”

“Graah!”

No sooner had Amnesia said that than Saya blasted a spell at the actor pretending to be a criminal. Fortunately, she missed the man in question and succeeded only in blowing an enormous hole in one wall of the café.

“Miss!”

“Just as I thought, she is incredibly stupid after all…”

  Actual Den of Crime and Iniquity

Baaam!

Yuuri and Sharon were just in the middle of complaining to each other about how slow the service was when the sound of an explosion reverberated through the café.

“Huh? What happened?” Yuuri leaped out of their private room and looked around the shop.

“Waaah!” Sharon fled from the private room, convinced that the gangsters working at this café had finally launched an attack to deal with her and Yuuri.

“……”

“……”

When the two of them emerged from the room, the state of the café had changed completely. Timber and bricks were scattered everywhere. The wreckage of chairs and tables was strewn about everywhere. It looked like something had punched a huge hole in the wall and trampled through the place.

“…What happened…?”

“Waaah!”

The two girls could see the bodies of the restaurant staff scattered around the gaping hole in the wall. All of them were pinned down under the rubble, and their moaning filled the ruined café.

Yuuri wasn’t really sure what had happened but had finally realized that at least something was going on. She touched the shoulder of the manager, who was lying nearby. “Um, are you all right?”

“Guh…hah…” The café manager was clearly already at death’s door.

“…Are you all right?” It was obvious that the man was not all right, but for now, Yuuri repeated her question.

“Feh…you, huh…?” The manager spoke to Yuuri in a trembling voice. “N-nice…moves…”

“Huh?”

What is this guy talking about?

“To think…you knew that we were going to make a run for it and placed your associates outside the shop…guh…you were playing us the whole time…”

“I, um, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Is this all…part of the act?

“Fah…I knew we wouldn’t be a match…for magic users…ah…”

“Seriously, I have no idea what you mean.”

“Go on, you can arrest us…” The manager held out both hands. “We’re through…”

Yuuri looked over at Sharon, perplexed.

What on earth should I do here?

Sharon stared back at her. She looked impressed and frightened. “So that’s why you were so confident, huh? But finishing an enemy off even when they’re trying to retreat…that’s pretty brutal…”

It was at about this juncture that Yuuri, who was still certain she had gone into a theme restaurant, was starting to get the impression that she and Sharon were on different wavelengths.

“But I’m telling you, I still don’t understand what any of you people are talking about…,” she said.

“Huh? Wasn’t this all part of your plan?” Sharon tilted her head quizzically.

“Huh? My plan…?”

Plan for what?

“…Hmm?”

“…Hmm?”

They both tilted their heads in charming fashion and stared at each other for a moment or two.

Finally, Sharon said, “Well, whatever,” and gave up thinking about it. “For now, let’s arrest these people. If we do that, our job will be finished here,” she said.

“Arrest them…? Isn’t this place just a theme restaurant? I don’t think we have any reason to arrest them.”

Shouldn’t we get them medical treatment instead?

“Huh? What are you talking about? These people are run-of-the-mill criminals.”

“What?”

“Yeah, look, these guys belong to a gang. They’ve been dealing drugs in the back the whole time.”

“…So it’s not a theme restaurant?”

“Theme restaurant…?” Sharon cocked her head. “That’s next door.”

She pointed through the hole that had just been opened in the wall.

“……”

“…Seriously?” Yuuri said after a moment of silence.

That was when she finally realized that she’d gone to the wrong café.

After that, Sharon and Yuuri worked together to arrest the criminals. They accepted a modest reward from the city, and each returned to her travels once again.

After it was done, Sharon reflected on the events of the day.

“Well, that’s what happens to any criminal enterprise that tries to mix it up with me!”

It was because she was always saying things like that that she frequently got caught up in troublesome incidents like this wherever she went. The girl never learned. That was Sharon.

Yuuri also reflected on everything that had occurred.

“I did think that something strange was going on, you know. I mean, the guys running the café didn’t ban me from entering or anything.”

Perhaps the day had finally come when she realized that puking all over herself whenever she drank coffee was not, in fact, a normal thing to do.

  Gimmicky New Theme Restaurant

Saya was taken to task by the owner of the café, whose wall she had demolished. She objected, saying that it didn’t make any sense for a café that pretended to be a front for organized crime to operate right next door to a café that actually was a front for organized crime. Wasn’t that like a trick question or something?

But unfortunately, no one was inclined to listen to her excuses, and the owner of the café was genuinely angry with her. “Look, you… Everyone else understood what was going on, right? It was obviously all an act. It’s not our fault that a place like that is allowed to exist for real, is it? Seriously, are you listening to yourself?”

In the end, Saya had gone on an unprovoked rampage. She was stuck repairing the wall. The owner of the café set her to work washing dishes in the kitchen to pay off her debt.

How on earth had she ended up washing dishes? And just where was the real criminal enterprise? Saya washed and washed, still not understanding all sorts of things.

“Tough break, huh?”

“……”

The thing she understood least of all was why Amnesia, the girl she had shared a table with, was also stuck washing dishes alongside her.

“…Um, what are you doing?”

“Hmm?” Amnesia answered Saya with a grin. “I was sitting with you, so I thought I would help you wash the dishes, out of a sense of collective responsibility.”

“……” Saya didn’t know how to respond to that. “I’m the one who busted up the café, so it’s my responsibility. You don’t really need to help, you know?”

“But I thought about stepping in to stop you,” Amnesia said matter-of-factly. “I knew that this café was one of those theme restaurants, but I didn’t know they did performances like that. That was a little unexpected, huh? No wonder you got confused.”

“I know, right?! It is confusing! Totally!” Saya puffed out her cheeks. “This café makes no sense! Good grief!” she sulked as she continued washing dishes.

“……”

After a short while, Saya looked over at Amnesia, who was humming a tune as she washed dishes beside her.

She must have felt bad for Saya, bearing all the liability by herself, and gone out of her way to come help.

“…Amnesia.” Saya turned her face away and, still washing dishes, said, “Thank you.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” It was clear that Amnesia was smiling by Saya’s side. “I’m sure that the witch who helped me would probably do the same in this situation—”

“……”

The witch who had helped Amnesia.

“If I’m not mistaken, she was a witch with ash-colored hair, wasn’t she?”

“Sure was. Ash-colored hair and lapis-blue eyes, wearing a black robe and a triangular hat.”

“Huh. She sounds just like an acquaintance of mine.”

“A witch who’s acquainted with Saya… If I’m not mistaken, do you mean the one you’re in love with?”

“That’s right.”

“The one who is probably in love with you?”

“That’s right.”

“……”

“……”

“What would we do if they were the same person? Oh-hoh-hoh…”

“Indeed, what would we do? Heh-heh-heh…”

A strange feeling of tension took over the kitchen.

After washing dishes until sunset, Saya and Amnesia parted ways, still laughing suspiciously to themselves.

The following day.

Saya was summoned to the Merchant City Triones branch office of the United Magic Association. Waiting there for her was her instructor, the Midnight Witch, Sheila.

Sheila was wearing a triumphant expression, puffing on her pipe in front of the same Criminal Enterprise Eradication Campaign poster from the day before.

Saya had actually asked another member of the Magic Association about Sheila being chosen to be the face on the campaign poster. And while Sheila was certainly a powerful and experienced witch, it turned out that the real reason that she had been selected as the face of the campaign was because she herself looked like the type of person who might run a criminal enterprise.

The official had forbidden Saya to speak about it, because if word had gotten around to Sheila, she would not have taken it well.

When Sheila noticed Saya, who had arrived late, she said, “Hey,” and blew out a puff of smoke.

“Hello.”

“How did it go yesterday with the criminal enterprise?”

Saya wasn’t sure how to answer the question.

“I washed their dishes.”

“…What?”