Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 8 - Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Welcome to the Cat Ears Café

Merchant City Triones.

Brick buildings lined the avenue, and crowds of people came and went over the smooth cobblestones. There were people delivering mail, housewives wandering through the street stalls doing their shopping, people heading to work, and merchants driving carts laden with goods. The main avenue on a weekday afternoon was generally like that, filled with people going with the flow of the daily cycles of life.

On the other hand, there was also one person who was just walking around aimlessly, with no job to speak of, and no responsibilities to worry about.

She was a single young woman, rather beautiful, dressed like a mage. Her hair was ash-colored, her eyes lapis-colored, and she was dressed in a robe and triangular hat. She was a witch, and a traveler.

She seemed rather distant from the city residents in the middle of their daily routines as she strolled around idly, looking around at the buildings on the avenue. To all appearances, she looked like she was simply wandering aimlessly, or maybe searching for something.

“Heh-heh-heh…cat café…cat…café…”

In her hand, she held a flyer that read, COCO’S CAT CAFÉ. This witch was actually searching for a cat café.

And this witch, who was scurrying around and acting suspicious, who on earth could she be?

That’s right, she’s me.

“Heh-heh-heh-heh…”

I let out another weird laugh.

Sometime earlier, I had, entirely by chance, been cured of my cat allergy. And today, I was feeling a little festive. No longer would I have to assiduously avoid any and all feline company. Why, I could even play with them if I wanted.

And as it just so happened, I’d found myself in a city gripped by a very peculiar fad—gimmicky theme restaurants. I’d heard that a cat-themed café had just opened.

A cat café.

Cat! Café!

In other words, a place where I can drink coffee and play with cats. I have to go, right? No, no, there’s no need to think about it any further. I have no choice but to go.

And so by that sequence of events, I was currently headed for a cat café.

“…Must be here.”

I came to an abrupt stop. Looking up, I saw a gaudy sign hanging over the entrance, reading, COCO’S CAT CAFÉ.

Without hesitation, with no sense of caution, I placed my hand on the door. At this point, my heart was pounding with excitement. I was certain that the shop would be filled with all kinds of cats. I was convinced that I would spend my day relaxing, sipping coffee with a cat sitting on my lap. I just knew that when I pet it, it would be delighted and purr.

Anyway, I couldn’t help but be excited.

My amazing day with the delightful cats begins now!

“Welcome back, master! Thank you for visiting us here at Coco’s Cat Café, meow!”

Standing before me was a maid who had sprouted cat ears.

I closed the door.

I looked at the sign.

It says, COCO’S CAT CAFÉ. I see.

I looked at the flyer.

It says, COCO’S CAT CAFÉ. There’s no mistake.

Could it have been a hallucination? Might I be dreaming?

I opened the door again.

“Welcome back, master! Thank you for visiting us here at Coco’s Cat Café, meow!”

“……”

Ah, it’s not…a dream…

No matter how many times I rubbed my eyes, standing there before me was a young lady dressed up like a French maid. But she was no ordinary woman, even beyond her maid costume—a pair of catlike ears sprouted from her head, and she was sporting a feline tail. At first, I thought it was part of the costume, but to my surprise, both the ears and the tail twitched enthusiastically, as though they were alive.

Ohhh, a cat café, like…

“Goodness! Welcome! We’ve been waiting! You’re the new girl, right?”

As I was standing there dumbfounded and despairing, another cat-eared maid appeared from deeper inside the shop.

Her eyes were lit up with excitement. “Ahh! Soo cuuute! No question, you can definitely become number one!” As she spoke, she tugged at my arm.

Long, smooth, light gray hair. Blue eyes. Refined features. At a glance, she was an obvious beauty—but still, she was a cat-eared maid.

“Um…?”

I was bewildered by this sudden turn of events, but the new maid said, “Oh, I haven’t introduced myself, have I? I’m the manager, Coco! Nice to meet you!” As she said that, she escorted me into the café.

“Huh? Um, um…”

Now, I suppose in some sense my wish was being fulfilled. I was getting to spend time with a cat…but the cat in question was not at all what I had expected. And she was pushy, too.

Without giving me time to object, Coco dragged me deeper into the restaurant.

As I was being dragged away, I was still puzzling over what exactly cat café meant when Coco, as if reading my mind, started to explain.

“I’m a half-human, half-cat, you see, so I decided to try running a maid café. And this is it!” She divulged the details with a very lighthearted attitude. “This café is a way for me and other cat people to make a living. Cat people are neither people nor cats; we’re a species halfway in between, you know. Unfortunately, we have a hard time finding work. That’s why I want to create opportunities for my brothers and sisters, you see?”

This so-called cat café seemed to be doing relatively good business, for inside, there were already quite a few customers packing the tables.

All the employees going from table to table were dressed in cute, frilly maid outfits, and all of them, without exception, were sporting cat ears and tails. As they worked, they called out to their customers using cutesy nonsense phrases like, “Please enjoy, meow  ,” and, “Meow, meow  ,” and, “Oh, master, you haven’t visited for a while, I was lonely, meow.  ”

“Coco, why are they talking like that?”

“That’s how we treat our customers here.”

“I see, I see.”

I don’t get it.

“In our café, adding ‘meow’ to the ends of words is quite popular.”

“I see, I see.”

I really don’t understand, meow.

“By the way, the girl over there is our current number one employee. Her name is Misty.”

Coco was pointing at a cat-eared maid with sandy-colored hair that hung down to her shoulders. She was right in the middle of serving a customer, telling him, “Thank you, meow  ,” in a flirtatious tone of voice. It almost made my stomach turn.

We passed through the dining room, painful to watch, without stopping, then on through the kitchen, and finally we arrived at an office in the back.

…From the looks of the kitchen, there’s not a single bit of cookware in the place. How do they serve food?

As before, as though anticipating my question, Coco quickly told me, “All the dishes our café serves are ready-made and just need to be heated up.” She proudly placed a ready-made omelet on the office table. “By the way, a single dish costs one gold piece.”

As she spoke, she wrote NEW GIRL   on the omelet with ketchup.

“Whoa, that’s expensive.”

Isn’t that a rip-off?

“Here the employees write on the food in ketchup, so the price jumps right up.”

“Isn’t that a rip-off?”

“Well, it certainly sells, so…we’re not going to stop…” Coco smiled faintly, with a faraway look. She was obviously obsessed with money.

Coco told me all sorts of things about her cat café as I consumed my omelet. For example, she told me that the more the cat-eared maids flirted with the customers, the busier the café got. She also told me that recently they had been troubled by a shortage of workers. They really had their paws full and were looking for help.

“And that’s why I put up advertisements for part-timers.”

That’s what she said.

But isn’t this supposed to be a place for cat people to find work?

Coco smiled broadly. “Everyone working here is a cat girl. So you can relax,” she said. “…You must have had a hard life out there, to resort to disguising yourself as a mage…”

“……”

Disguising myself? I am a mage. In fact, I’m a witch!

“You’ve got cat ears hidden under that triangular hat of yours, right?” Coco continued. “The world can be a scary place for people like us, huh? Since we have to live our lives concealing any evidence that we’re cat people.”

“…No, um—”

The only thing under my hat is a normal head and some slightly messy hair—

“No, it’s fine! Don’t say a thing! I understand…”

“……”

No, I really don’t think you do…

“It’s all right…if you work here in this café, I’m sure you’ll find happiness…!”

Coco beamed with a smile as she clapped a hand down on my shoulder.

“……”

It kind of seems like this is less of an interview and more of an invitation.

In Coco’s mind, I was probably already all set to start working here. But, of course, I had no inclination toward doing so, and anyway, I wasn’t a cat person.

“Um…”

I had every intention of politely declining Coco’s generous offer, when suddenly—

“I’m sorry! I’m late!”

I was interrupted by the door being thrown open.

Something rather important occurred to me just then: Coco had mistaken me for her new part-timer and dragged me to the back of the café. Which meant she had been expecting someone else for an interview.

And here she was now.

The girl standing in the doorway was obviously a mage. She had white hair that hung sleekly down to about her hips. Her eyes were a lovely jade-green color, and she was probably about one or two years younger than I was. She was dressed in a robe and cloak that were mostly white.

She had a very familiar face. But she also possessed some unfamiliar features. She had cat ears atop her head and was sporting a tail.

Maybe it just looks like her?

No, no, there’s no way.

“I’m Avelia, I’ve come for my part-time job interview! Thank you for taking the time to see me-ow!”

Though she spoke with the strange cutesy affectation that was characteristic of this café, I couldn’t help but recognize her by name.

Avelia.

The affectionate little sister who had once awaited her older sister’s return to the Holy City Esto. This acquaintance of mine was now an ordinary traveler, journeying with her sister, Amnesia, to seek out a new hometown, and as far as I knew, she was not a cat girl.

I was sure that she hadn’t had cat ears and a tail before, but…

“Um, what are you doing, Avelia?”

But the girl in front of me did have ears and a tail that were undeniably feline.

My, my, how strange this is! What on earth is going on here?

“………………………………”

She stared at my face in silence for a moment. Then…

“…Wrong person.”

Her cheeks flushed as she said it, and she turned her face away.

Wrong person?

“Wait, you are Avelia, aren’t you?”

“You’re mistaken.”

“Didn’t you just introduce yourself as—”

“I am not the Avelia that you know. I am the new employee Avelia, the cat girl who has come to work part-time in this café. I am definitely not the mage Avelia.”

“You’re forgetting your ‘meows.’”

“I am a cat person…meow.”

“……”

I really didn’t understand what was going on, but apparently, for some reason, Avelia had decided to become a member of the cat person species.

What happened? Did someone take Amnesia hostage and say they would kill her unless Avelia became a cat person?

“Oh, oh, oh? How strange… My new part-timer is already here…” Coco seemed rather suspicious of the new girl who had just barged in to her office. “Who are you?” she demanded.

“I am Avelia, your newest employee, meow,” she asserted. “Avelia, the cat girl, coming to work in your café, meow.”

She really wants Coco to believe that she’s a cat person…

“Huh?” Coco frowned at Avelia and tilted her head, then she pulled out a piece of paper and looked back and forth between it and me. It was probably a résumé or something.

“But my new part-time girl is right here?”

Coco strained her eyes as she peered at the paper. “Her hair is white, and she’s a mage…”

Sure, if that’s all you have to go on, then I suppose we’re not entirely dissimilar, but…

“She is the wrong person, meow.”

Avelia dashed over to stand beside me. “See for yourself, boss. This girl’s hair isn’t white at all. See, it’s all dingy, right?” Then suddenly she was stroking my hair.

“Do you want to get knocked out?” I slapped her hand down.

“……”

Now that the physical distance between us had closed, finally Avelia seemed inclined to pay serious attention to me. Rubbing the hand that I had slapped, she brought her face up close to mine. Coco still didn’t seem to know what exactly was going on. She watched in confusion as Avelia leaned in close to me and whispered, “…Why are you here?”

That’s my line!

“I should be asking you that! What’s going on?” I hissed. “Are you planning to settle down here? You ought to think about a different career path.”

Avelia glared at me. “…I just needed a little money, so I came here to work. I have no intention of settling down.”

“I see. Even so, you really ought to choose your jobs more carefully.”

“You’ve got the wrong idea,” Avelia insisted. “It’s not like I actually want to be working in a place like this. I am definitely not interested in this kind of thing…”

“Is that so? But it suits you so well,” I teased.

“Are you making fun of me?” Avelia quickly turned away, but she muttered, “I’d be happier to hear my sister say that…”

So you don’t actually hate it that much.

As I was giving Avelia disapproving looks, Coco finally glanced up from the résumé she was still holding. “Ah, come to think of it, I haven’t asked your name yet, have I? What’s your name?”

“I’m Elaina.”

“Goodness…” Coco’s shoulders slumped. “That certainly is the wrong name… My goodness! So I brought a complete stranger back here…”

Well, the most important thing is that we’ve sorted the misunderstanding out.

“That’s right!” Avelia interjected. “In other words, I am actually your new part-time employee, Avelia!” She puffed out her chest self-importantly. Apparently, she was still feeling good about her chances.

……

As I suspected, you don’t hate it nearly as much as you want me to believe.

Finally, I was released from the confines of Coco’s office. As a way of apologizing for the mix-up, she told me, “Go eat something in the café!”

After I moved to one of the café tables, I chowed down on the ready-made omelet that had NEW GIRL   written on it. When it came down to it, the fact that I had been released meant that Avelia was starting her interview for the part-time job.

But it was clear that the café was really desperate for new employees, and Avelia faced an interview in name only. It was only a little while before she burst out of Coco’s office wearing a maid costume, chest puffed out with obvious pride.

“How about that? I got the job on the spot.”

Then for some reason, she came over to my table.

“Then how about doing your job?” I glared up at her.

“I am. One maid attends to each table in this café.”

I see… That means that Avelia will be sharing my table.

Uh-huh. Right…

“I want a new maid,” I insisted.

“You’re so mean…”

“I don’t want to see someone I know dressed up like a cat-eared maid… I mean, really… And what are you doing working in a place like this anyway?”

I had missed my chance to ask her before, but it was obvious that she wasn’t here because she actually wanted to work in a café while pretending to be a cat person. I was sure she had some ulterior motive.

“To answer your question, here is my reason.”

As she spoke, Avelia pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and held it out to me. I set down the spoon I had used to demolish my omelet and took the paper from her hand.

It was a pamphlet.

CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE ERADICATION CAMPAIGN NOW UNDERWAY! it read.

According to the pamphlet, the United Magic Association had recently begun offering cash rewards in exchange for any help discovering and dismantling organized crime. They were supposed to be carrying out clandestine operations in cities all over the world. While they were at it, they’d stuck this exact poster up all over the place. Apparently, they were a little fuzzy on the definition of clandestine.

Also, I absolutely could not fathom why they’d chosen to use a picture of the Midnight Witch, Sheila, as the face of this Criminal Enterprise Eradication Campaign or whatever, but there she was, right on the front of the pamphlet.

“The rewards can be claimed by regular mages, too. In short, if you capture a criminal and hand them over to the United Magic Association, you get money. In other words, I can get funds for my travels this way,” Avelia told me as I frowned at her.

But if this pamphlet had led Avelia to this café, if that was the case, I couldn’t help but wonder.

“…So you’re saying that this café is run by a bunch of criminals?”

I tilted my head in confusion. From what I had seen, this place seemed like an ordinary, if rather flirtatious, maid café.

Avelia shook her head at me. “This café itself isn’t part of any criminal enterprise. But rumor has it that certain regulars here are bringing in dangerous drugs and trying to get the cat girls hooked.”

“Oh?”

“It’s called catnip powder, and it’s a pretty dangerous drug. I don’t know where they’re getting it from, but…anyway, rumor says you can buy it around here somewhere…meow.”

“I see, so you’ve infiltrated the café in order to search out the source.”

“Indeed.”

“And if possible, you’re also going to try to suck up to the United Magic Association.”

“Meow, meow.”

“Okay, so what does this stuff look like?”

“Meow, meow, meow.”

“I see, I see.”

You have no idea. Got it.

“Well, going off the name, I think it might be something like a love potion,” Avelia speculated. “Since it’s ‘catnip’ and all.”

“So your motives are questionable and your methods are a mess…”

I was skeptical, but Avelia seemed quite proud of herself for some reason.

“You just watch, Elaina. I’m going to use the customers who come through this café to get my hands on the source of the catnip powder. Hmph!”

She puffed out her chest again.

I didn’t have any particular desire to suck up to the United Magic Association like Avelia did, so for the time being, I just waved her off and said, “All right, well, good luck, I guess.”

After that, I could tell just from the ambient sounds how Avelia’s job was going, without even having to look.

“Aah! There’s some parfait on your face! I’m so sorry! No, wait! I’m so sorry, meow!”

I could hear her familiar voice shouting somewhere in the café. I kept my head down and ate my omelet.

Not long after that…

“I’m terribly sorry about earlier! Here’s a meat pie to make up for—aaah! I’m so sorry! Your face is covered in meat pie!”

Another scream from somewhere in the café. I had already finished eating my omelet, so I spread the pamphlet out in front of me and tried to ignore all the screaming.

“……”

I could see that, just as Avelia had explained, the campaign outlined in the pamphlet was, in fact, open to ordinary magic users. And apparently, the reward for taking down one of these criminal enterprises could be quite substantial.

“Thank you for waiting! Here is your omelet, our specialty—aah! I’m sorry! You’re all over the omelet’s face!”

You’ve got it backward.

Paying no attention to how Avelia’s job was going, I continued staring at the pamphlet.

After turning several pages, my hand stopped.

Rewards will be paid not only for the eradication of criminal enterprises. In cases where drugs or dangerous medications are seized, the reward will increase based on the amount recovered. That’s what was written there.

Oh-hoh, what’s this? A chance to rake in a lot of easy money, perhaps? If I could pass this catnip powder off as a “super-dangerous drug” to the United Magic Association, I could make quite a pretty penny…

……

This is no time to be eating ready-made omelets…!

“Uuuggghhh…I’m not fit for this kind of job… I can’t do it anymore… Oh, whoops, I mean, I can’t do it any-meow.”

After many repeated blunders, Avelia had shut herself inside a nearby crate. Sobbing was coming from inside, and her tail was sticking out. She had hidden her head without hiding her rear.

I walked over and lifted the crate off Avelia.

“Ah!” She was even more teary-eyed than I was when I still suffered from a cat allergy. “Hey, I was hiding in there!”

I don’t think that’s something you’re supposed to do while you’re working…

But anyway…

I tossed her crate to the side and touched Avelia lightly on the shoulder.

Then I smiled broadly and said, “Avelia, do you have a spare set of ears and tail?”

I was full of nasty thoughts, lured in by the prospect of easy money.

I had no intention of working for chump change, but now that there was real money involved, I was suddenly full of enthusiasm.

So all I have to do is round up some of this catnip powder or whatever it is that’s making the rounds at this café, and I’ll be headed full speed toward fabulous riches, right? How nice to have such a delicious prospect before me!

“…Elaina, if you also start working here, my share of the tips will be smaller. I do have a spare set of cat’s ears and tail, but if possible, I’d prefer not to lend them to you.”

Avelia voiced her disapproval of my proposal. She puffed out her cheeks and turned away, but…

“I could let the manager know that you’re hardly working at all…”

“I’ll get them right away.”

Sure enough, just as she’d said, Avelia provided the ears and tail right away. I put them on in secret, so as not to be found out by anyone in the café, then sidled up to Coco and said, “Wow, what a super-wonderful café this is! I think I would really love to work here, too!” If I had actually been a cat girl, I probably would have been purring.

“My goodness! Really? I’m so happy! We’ve been getting so many new customers, you see, so I’m happy to have anyone—as long as they’re a cat person!”

Luckily, Coco was understaffed and so busy that she would take any help she could get. So she happily allowed me to join her crew.

“…But isn’t the color of your ears a bit off?” Coco pointed out immediately.

I had a plan, of course.

“Actually, I have a complex about my ears… That’s why I wear the hat…,” I said sadly. Of course, this was a lie. The ears were fake anyway.

“My…is that so…?”

Coco seemed to accept that it was a touchy subject. She didn’t mention my ears or tail again.

After that, Coco gave me an overview of my job, but experience is the best teacher anyway. “Our job is to flirt with the customers, keep them happy, and then take their money away from them,” she said, and my training was finished.

Avelia puffed out her chest proudly. “If there’s anything you’re not clear on, you can ask me, your senior.”

“Um…that’s all right.”

After turning her down flatly, I tied my long hair up into one bunch behind my head and slipped into my maid costume.

Well then, let’s have a look at how the promising new employee did at her job.

“I broke another plate… I can’t do this… Oh, whoops. I mean, I…um, can’t do this, meow.”

Well, at least I wasn’t hiding in a crate.

The promising new employee had ashen hair and lapis-colored eyes. And she was a traveler and a witch, and also a beautiful young woman. No one had ever worn the maid outfit better.

“Heh-heh-heh… So cute. You must be the new girl who just started here today, right?”

And that beautiful young woman was currently standing in front of a man with an extremely lewd look on his face.

By the way, who could she be?

“That’s right.”

She’s me.

Business in the café was booming, so even a new employee like me was getting plenty of customers.

“Welcome back, master,” I recited in a monotone as I bowed my head. “What would you like to order?”

“Let me see… I think I’ll have an omelet for now.”

“Yes sir.”

I walked briskly into the kitchen. I heated up a ready-made omelet. I returned to the customer with it.

“Here you are. A homemade omelet.”

I tossed the homemade (ready-made) omelet down on the table with a bang.

The customer was delighted.

“Say, miss. Could you cast a spell on this omelet for me?”

“Huh?”

I don’t really understand what you’re asking…

“Well, I mean…like, say a few magic words while you write something on it in ketchup, and draw a heart around it…”

“What sort of thing should I write? Sorry, but I’m new here, so I don’t really know. Do you think you could write it for me?”

Bang!

I slammed the ketchup bottle down on the table.

“G-guess it can’t be helped… All right then, watch your master’s work carefully, now!” The self-proclaimed “master,” in high spirits despite my obviously dismissive attitude, drew a heart shape on the omelet with the ketchup. “Please enjoy, meow  ,” he said.

I nodded.

I see, I see. So that’s what I need to do. Mm-hmm…

The customer returned the omelet to me and said, “All right, you try,” but…

“Ah, looks like there’s no space left on this one.”

“……”

“See you again next time!”

Of course, I tried to take the job seriously, at least at first. But flirting with random people is clearly not my strong suit, and my attitude toward the customers was sometimes really hostile. There truly was no excusing my terrible performance, but somehow most of my clients seemed happy to overlook my poor attitude, calling me a “hot-and-cold type” or whatever.

Well, at least I didn’t hide in a crate and cry.

The café’s popularity showed no signs of waning, and I ended up serving many more tables after that. Of course, considering the type of establishment it was, I got some pretty strange requests.

“I want you to watch me eat.”

Speaking of strange requests…

“Ah, you want me to watch, huh? Got it.” I sat down across from the customer.

“…!” The customer had never considered that I might sit. He seemed rather taken aback.

“By the way, could I order a coffee or something for myself?” I pushed my luck.

“…!” As surprised as he was by my audacious request, the customer chewed away at his omelet.

“Is it delicious?” I gazed off into the distance as I sipped my coffee.

“Ah…so delicious…it’s filled with your love…”

“It all comes prepackaged, you know…”

“…!” The customer was overwhelmed by this sad revelation.

After that, another customer asked me, “Can you cast a spell to make it delicious?”

“Huh? Are you saying you can’t eat it unless I say the magic words?” I scolded.

“I wish you would feed me…,” a different customer whined.

“What, your hands don’t work any better than your brain?” I scoffed.

“Do you have any favorites?” yet another customer asked. “If you like, we could eat it together?” he suggested.

“My favorite thing is money,” I answered frankly.

“……”

Okay, so maybe my service wasn’t exactly up to the café’s standards. I even glimpsed a few customers complaining to the manager when they went to pay their bill, saying things like, “She’s the hot-and-cold type, but there’s nothing ‘hot’ about her at all. This can’t be right. You should let her go.”

But of course, I had a plan for this.

I’m not the type to be caught unprepared, after all.

“How cruel! How can you say such a thing?” I appeared right there before the customer with tears in my eyes.

“That’s more like it!”

The customer suddenly seemed perversely satisfied.

By the way, my “tears” were actually eyedrops.

As a result, I moved up in the ranks as the day progressed.

“That’s incredible, Elaina!” Avelia marveled. “You’ve made it to second place in the rankings in no time!”

Apparently, the rankings were determined by whoever got the most requests, and according to those numbers, I was now second only to the front-runner, Misty.

And since our pay went up the more we were requested, I was in a position to potentially earn a fair amount of money.

Staring vacantly at the rankings chart, Avelia added dejectedly, “There’s no way I’m going to catch up.”

But no matter where you work, whenever a newcomer ends up being a big hit, they’re certain to attract some negative attention. Sure enough, as Avelia and I looked at the chart, I heard someone grumble from behind us.

“…Tch. Beginner’s luck.”

When I turned around, I saw Misty, the top-ranking maid, but she had already gone back to doting on her customer and was in the middle of some serious flirting.

“Meow, meow.  ”

By the way…

“Avelia, I don’t see your name anywhere.”

“I didn’t even make it onto the board…”

I see.

“Maybe you should take your job seriously for a change.”

“You’re the one person I don’t want to hear that from.”

Both Avelia and I were working at the café as part of a plan to find the source of the catnip powder, but no matter how we searched, we never found a trace of the crucial substance.

For better or worse, I had become the second most popular maid in the whole establishment, so I had figured that as long as I worked a little, one of my sketchier customers would probably figure they had a better chance with me if they plied me with catnip first.

But as far as I could see, there weren’t any customers in the café who seemed to be dealing catnip powder, and there also weren’t any cat girls who were spaced out on catnip.

I was even starting to doubt whether any catnip powder was being dealt here at all. But Avelia’s information had seemed legitimate, so I kept on working at the café, keeping my eye out for the illicit substance.

“Hey, new girl.”

I had been there exactly three days before Misty, the most popular maid in the café, suddenly approached me. Flipping her lovely sand-colored hair over her shoulder, she snorted dismissively.

“Aren’t you getting a little cocky lately?”

“……”

You say “lately,” but it’s been only three days since I started working here.

“Ah! What’s that look in your eyes? Got something to say?” Misty demanded. “You made second place in the rankings on your very first day, and now you’re getting cocky, aren’t you?! That’s it, isn’t it?”

“No, not particularly…”

I don’t really care about the rankings or whatever…

“‘I don’t really care about the rankings or whatever…’ That’s what your face says!” Misty jeered. “So cheeky!”

“……”

“Don’t get all excited because you’ve reached the lofty number two position, all right?” Misty was puffed up with anger. “You listening? The difference between your second-place ranking and my first-place position is the difference between earth and heaven. I’m sure you think that you’re closing in, just one step behind me now that you’re in second place, but that’s not even close to the truth! If I’m like a prize flower in first place, you and everyone else below me are all like weeds growing off to the side!”

What a cruel way to put it…

“And what about people who don’t even make it on the chart?” I asked.

“Hmm? They’re the vermin that swarm on the weeds.”

“I see.” I nodded.

I’ll tell Avelia about that later.

“Well, anyway, I’m on a completely different level than the rest of you,” Misty insisted. “You’re not even competition for me. That’s right, you’re just like weeds!”

“……”

If we can’t even compete, then why are you bothering to say anything at all?

“By the way, new girl…do you know why I’m as beautiful as I am?”

Misty tossed her hair dramatically again.

I shook my head. Just thinking about it was tiresome.

In response, she nodded happily and said, “That’s right! You don’t know, do you?! You’re not very smart! I come from a pure and beautiful cat person bloodline! In other words, I was born with exceptional talents not found in mongrels like you!”

“…Uh-huh…” I couldn’t hide my shock and confusion at Misty, who had for some reason suddenly started ranting about cat person eugenics or something. I probably looked like a crossbreed cat person because the white fur on my ears and tail didn’t match, but still.

“A special bloodline…and special beauty…it’s my natural destiny to be ranked first! The likes of you are no match for me! Got it?”

“…Well, I understand quite clearly what you’re trying to say.”

Misty went on and on, telling me one thing or another, but to make a long story short, she seemed upset that I had risen to second place so quickly.

All right, so from now on, I’ll just try to do my job and not make too much of an impression.

All I was here to do was discover the source of the catnip power, so standing out would only put my mission at risk.

Misty tossed her hair again. “Glad you understand!” she said before returning to work.

“Oh, master.   So sorry to keep you waiiiting.  ” Her composure was astounding, and her voice was sweet enough to give someone a cavity. Leaving aside any talk of blood purity, she certainly did seem to be good at her job.

“What did she say to you just now?” As I gazed absently at Misty, Avelia suddenly appeared by my side, holding her crate.

“I didn’t understand most of it,” I answered flatly. “She just seemed to want to insult me.”

“Uh-huh. For what, specifically?”

“Apparently, I’m a weed.”

“I don’t understand.”

“And you’re apparently one of the bugs that swarms on weeds.”

“I see. The only thing that’s clear is that this girl is our enemy.” Avelia held her crate closely while puffing out her cheeks in anger.

“……”

I ignored her and kept my gaze focused on Misty. I wasn’t glaring at her because I was angry. Honestly, I couldn’t have cared less about her.

My attention was on the customer she was serving.

“Heh-heh…sweet Misty really is adorable…”

He was an unattractive man who muttered to himself like that at every turn.

Misty was flirting with him, saying things like, “Oh nooo  , I’m so embarrassed!”

During a few moments when Misty went to get food from the kitchen, the gross man pulled a little pouch out of his pocket and started rubbing some strange powder into his clothes.

It didn’t look like any kind of cologne I knew. Because it was powder.

It must have been something else.

“…? Oh? Something smells really good…”

To make matters worse, when Misty returned from the kitchen, her voice became even more coquettish than before.

Just like a cat intoxicated by catnip.

“As promised, here is the catnip powder that I recovered from that customer.”

After our work was finished that day, I summoned Avelia to my hotel room and put the baggie full of powder on the table between us. Avelia seemed surprised that I’d invited her to my room so suddenly, but even more than that…

“This is…” With wide eyes, she stared very, very suspiciously at the powder. “…When on earth did you manage to recover it?”

“I was talking with the customer as he paid his bill, and that’s when I got him to hand it over.”

“What did you say to get him to do that?”

“I just asked him to give it to me.”

“…I don’t think someone would normally just hand over such a dangerous powder…”

Well, be that as it may…

Let’s leave the particulars of the story aside for now.

“But this powder, I wonder how exactly it’s made?” I mused. “I can’t imagine that a narcotic that only affects cat people is particularly common.” Holding the baggie full of powder up to the light, I tilted my head as I wondered aloud, “Someone, somewhere, for some purpose, must be distributing this, right?”

“…I don’t know who’s selling it, but I’m pretty sure I know why the customers are buying it.”

Oh? Sounds important.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“While I was hiding inside the crate, I noticed all sorts of things around the shop,” Avelia replied. She gestured to the powder in my hand. “All the customers who used this powder also requested Misty.”

“……”

“I saw this powder several times while I was working in the café, but I never saw anyone other than Misty’s customers using it.”

Apparently, while I had been working my way up through the rankings, Avelia had been observing the café from her vantage point outside the competition for rankings.

“I remember it clearly,” Avelia continued, “because it’s a strange powder, and the customers using it acted strangely, too. Every one of them waited for a moment when Misty wasn’t looking, then they dusted their clothes or bodies with the powder.”

“…I see.”

That follows exactly with the scene I witnessed today.

It had only seemed like Avelia had spent the whole day cowering in a crate. But in her own way, she had been taking her job quite seriously.

“In other words, there’s only one solution worth considering,” Avelia said, “It’s likely that the person selling catnip powder is someone with a grudge against Misty. That’s why they’re handing out a drug that muddles her mind—they’re trying to mess with her,” she revealed.

“…You mean someone is trying to bump her off the rankings?”

That’s what it looks like, but…

Avelia nodded confidently.

“That’s definitely what’s going on.”

Someone wanted to force Misty out of her job at the café so that they could claim her first-place ranking. They were giving out catnip powder and telling the new customers how to use it to make Misty like them. The more of these customers she saw, the more Misty would get addicted. Sooner or later it would start to affect her work, not to mention her health. These new customers would take up her time and fight for her attention, and probably drive away her regular customers. At any rate, her addiction would eventually drive her from the café.

Avelia’s theory seemed like it could be right.

However…

“…Could that be it?”

I couldn’t help but be puzzled by that guess.

“Of course that’s it!” Avelia stood up triumphantly. “So then, Elaina, starting tomorrow, we’ll work together to discover the source of this powder! That girl is really disagreeable, but someone willing to stoop to these underhanded tactics is even worse!”

According to Avelia’s theory, the culprit was one of the cat girls at the café. And she was probably someone at the third ranking or lower.

“……”

But I couldn’t quite get on board with it.

Her theory didn’t seem to have any holes, but I was worried about Misty. This powder was potent stuff, and if Misty was in danger, from her customers or the other cat girls, we needed to put an end to it right away.

That said…

“Before we can confirm whether or not your theory is correct, there’s one more thing I’d like to verify. Is that all right?”

The following day, Misty was, as always, entertaining a customer with the confident attitude and flirtatious behavior befitting her top-ranking status.

“Oh, maaaster, I was so lonely.  ”

She was there, acting as always.

“…Um, yeah.”

But her client’s behavior was a little strange. He wasn’t acting like her customers regularly did. Somehow, he seemed even more awkward. To put it tactfully, he was distant.

“Here, master, please enjoy my homemade omelet.  ”

Misty picked up the spoon as usual and casually brought a chunk of omelet to her client’s mouth, something I could never bring myself to do, no matter how I tried. Today, as always, Misty was on her game.

But.

“No…it’s all right. I’ll eat on my own today.”

The customer coldly refused her.

What on earth could have happened?

“Master…why are you acting so distant? It’s making me sad…” Misty was quite disheartened. Her ears and tail drooped lifelessly.

“Well, how do I put this…” But her customer pitilessly turned away from her. “…I’m embarrassed.”

What was that about? He’s acting like a bashful maiden.

Up to yesterday you were openly flirting with Misty, so what on earth could have caused this sudden self-awareness?

“…Um, it’s a little awkward…with all three of you there…,” the customer said stiffly.

“……”

“……”

He gestured toward the two of us, who were sitting on either side of Misty.

Oh my.

Avelia and I looked at each other.

“No, no, please don’t pay us any mind.” I gave a devilish smile.

“Please, go ahead and act all lovey-dovey like you always do.” Avelia smiled like a little angel.

“……”

At this point, Misty finally turned her gaze toward us. It must have been her policy not to look at anything other than her customer while she was serving someone, so she had ignored us for a while as if we weren’t there. But apparently, she had reached her limit.

“Wait just a minute, okay?”

Bowing her head to the customer, Misty grabbed the two of us by our maid costumes and dragged us into the back. I’m sure we looked just like a couple of kittens whose mother was carrying them away by the scruffs of their necks.

After taking us into the office in the back, Misty glared at us and asked, “What are you up to?”

What are we up to?

“We were studying the way you work,” I said.

“That’s right,” Avelia agreed.

Misty scowled. “You’re in my way.”

“Don’t pay us any mind,” I insisted. “Think of us as bonus maids.”

“That’s right,” Avelia agreed again.

“…Hmph.” At that point, Misty seemed to realize something. “Could it be that you’re worried about what I said yesterday? Are you trying to get back at me? You’re planning to get in my way and try to knock me down in the rankings, aren’t you?”

No, no, I would never.

“There’s no way we would even think of trying something like that, right?” I nudged Avelia. “Right?”

“…Right?” Avelia blinked.

Misty glared at the two of us, who were intent on joking around. “I will get angry if you get in my way any further.”

Aren’t you already plenty angry?

I thought that, but I didn’t say it.

Avelia and I just looked at each other and said, “Come, come, don’t get so angry,” and, “That’s right, that’s right,” and snuggled up close to her, which only riled her up even more now that she was already upset.

By the way, Avelia hasn’t said a single normal thing this whole time, has she?

“Come on! Jeez!” Misty grimaced, as if she was completely annoyed by the two of us clinging to her. “Cut it out, stop fooling around! What is your goal here?”

Oh no, you don’t look so pretty now…

“Our goal? Heh-heh-heh… You want to know?” I clung tightly to her arm.

“That’s right!” And Avelia…

By the way, don’t you know any other real words, other than “That’s right”?

“Guh…you…! Let me go!”

Misty grasped us by the heads, as if to rip us off her.

But we didn’t stop.

We pulled ourselves even closer to her and clung to her tenaciously.

“By the way,” I asked, “do you feel anything when you’re with us?”

“That’s right!” Avelia added.

“…!” Misty went pale. “Don’t tell me you two are into that—”

“No, nothing like that.”

“But Elaina’s very keen.”

“Shut up, Avelia.”

You finally stop with all the “rights,” and that’s what you have to add?

Anyway, there was actually a reason why we’d been hanging all over Misty, and it didn’t have anything to do with getting in her way at work, or any other questionable motives.

Since we had gotten all the proof we needed by being in such close contact with her, it was about time to reveal the plan behind it.

“I’m sorry, Misty,” I began. “There was something that we wanted to test out, so that’s why we clung to you.”

“…Test out?” She glared. “Two girls beneath me wanted to test me, you say? How insolent. Exactly what were you aiming to accomplish?”

“Oh, sorry. You’ve misunderstood—we weren’t trying to test you, exactly…”

“Huh? What are you—”

“Do you know what this is?”

I cut her off and pulled a baggie from my pocket.

It was the bag for the catnip powder that I had recovered from a customer the day before, but it was all used up. Just about used up anyway. There was hardly any left inside.

“This is catnip powder. Apparently, it has a pretty powerful effect on cat people. Put a bit of this on, and any cat girls near you will get intoxicated.”

“……” Whether she had seen the baggie before or not, Misty stared fixedly at the small container of powder. “…What did you call it?” she murmured ambiguously.

I placed a hand on her shoulder and said, “By the way, we came to work today wearing this catnip powder.”

Then I brought my mouth close to one of her cat ears and asked, “How come you’ve been able to stay so composed?”

Let me tell you how I recovered the powder.

“Hey there, mister, what exactly is this powder?”

While the man was paying his bill, I snatched the baggie full of powder from his wallet.

“Ah…hey! What are you—”

“Is this catnip powder?”

“…!” Apparently, this customer who had requested Misty’s company was a very bad liar. “I d-don’t know… What could it be?”

“Mister…come to think of it, you used this earlier when you were with Misty, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t…no way!”

“It’s not good to lie…” I let out an exaggerated sigh. “Not good at all… If I were to report this to my boss…what do you suppose would happen to you?”

“…!”

“If word got out that you had used a powder like this on your innocent young companion… If it became a well-known fact that you were the sort of person who would use dirty tactics to lower a girl’s defenses, what do you suppose would happen? You would probably be arrested, of course…and you’d almost certainly lose your job, huh…?”

“N-not that! Forgive me, please…! I’ll do anything! So whatever you do—”

“You’ll do anything?”

Oh-hoh, is that so?

“All right then, give me this powder.”

“Huh?”

“Give me this powder.”

“…Ah.”

The customer’s eyes went wide at this unexpected request. Of course, he had no right to refuse. I immediately put the powder away in my pocket, then placed a hand on his shoulder.

“By the way, how did this powder come into your possession?”

“……”

“I’ll just go and call the manager.”

“W-wait! I’ll talk! I’ll tell you!”

He wasn’t in a position to refuse.

Finally, though reluctantly, he told me.

“Earlier, I was walking through town when a shady-looking woman gave me the powder—”

According to him, the woman had worn her hood low over her face and seemed very suspicious. She was the one he’d gotten it from.

As the hooded woman gave him the drug, she had told him, “This stuff is called ‘catnip powder,’ and if a cat girl smells it, it will make her fall in love with you… Ah, but it won’t have an effect on just any cat person. It only works on cat girls with pure, unsullied bloodlines… Actually, come to think of it, there’s a place nearby called Coco’s Cat Café, isn’t there? There’s a girl there, Misty, who perfectly fits that description!”

Apparently, the man hadn’t been familiar with Coco’s Cat Café, but with the guidance of that suspicious woman, he decided to visit. And there he discovered that Misty, a peerless beauty, would indeed go crazy for him if he used the powder.

In a flash, the man had become a frequent customer at the café, and one of Misty’s regulars.

“…And then I couldn’t stop… I kept coming to this café…”

“Uh-huh, I see, I see.”

That was how I was able to extract a confession.

So you see, this was not a simple case of one of the girls in the café trying a very creative method of taking Misty down, nor was it a regular customer trying to win her heart.

The men who had been handed a suspicious powder in a dark alley had all gone crazy for Misty. Ordinary passersby had first become customers, then fans, and then fanatics.

In other words…

…Misty wasn’t the one intoxicated by the catnip powder; it was her customers.

There was only one thing left to be done: dealing with the person—er, cat girl—who had committed this crime. So after a tip from me and Avelia, Misty was sadly dragged off to the branch office of the United Magic Association.

“W-wait just a minute! Did I do something wrong? Where’s your proof? On what grounds are you apprehending me? I was just working like normal! I don’t know anything about any catnip!”

When it came to the cat girl in question, she seemed intent on playing innocent to the very end, but we presented as proof the mysterious catnip powder that she had walked around distributing to men around town. We reported those events as well, in every particular detail.

Several days after her arrest, I received notice from the Association that she had confessed.

Incidentally, the “catnip powder” was actually just wheat flour, unfortunately made up to look like drugs, so we had no hope of getting our reward for confiscating it.

The real victim in this whole situation was Coco, the owner of the cat café.

“I can’t believe she did something like that…”

After the lead girl’s scheme was exposed, Misty’s generous fans all abandoned the café.

“It’s too bad… She was our biggest earner…” Coco dropped her shoulders, crestfallen. Though Misty had used underhanded tactics, filling the hole that she had left behind wouldn’t be easy.

“Well, I for one like the more relaxed atmosphere that the café has now.”

Inside the café, which had been constantly packed until a few days ago, I could now see several open seats. It had a calm, quiet atmosphere. The maids weren’t spending all their time sucking up to customers. In fact, I could see some of them indulging in friendly conversation in the corners of the café.

I couldn’t help but think that this was how a café should feel.

So I think that this café is going to be just fine even without Misty here, but…

“We may have lost our number one…but we have our number two…!”

Contrary to my expectations, however, Coco stood up and grabbed me tightly by the shoulder.

“Elaina! From now on, this café depends on you! You’re my new number one, starting now!”

“Ah, I’m terribly sorry, but I must tender my resignation, effective immediately.”

“……”

“I said I quit.”

They’ll probably be fine without me, too.

“In the end, we didn’t make that much money.”

“We sure didn’t…”

Having escaped together from the nonsensical theme restaurant known as Coco’s Cat Café, Avelia and I longed for the comfort of a normal café and ended up walking to one nearby.

When it came down to it, the United Magic Association’s Criminal Enterprise Eradication Campaign was all about taking down criminal organizations, so we hadn’t been paid much for capturing a single rotten individual.

Avelia was right to complain. At the end of the day, we had made more working at the cat café than we had gotten in the reward.

…I had to wonder whether the people behind this Criminal Enterprise Eradication Campaign had set it up so that they could use that kind of logic to avoid paying out even if you did bring down an actual organization.

Which means the real criminal enterprise is the United Magic Association…?

“We failed. Looks like we would have made more if we had found a bunch of criminals and taken them head-on.”

With an exaggerated sigh, Avelia put a newspaper down on the table.

MAJOR ACHIEVEMENT! TWO MAGES CAUSED THE COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF A MAJOR CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE! was printed on the front page, along with a picture of two mages posing inside some café somewhere.

One of them was a witch with blue hair…or so she appeared. She was wearing a somewhat self-satisfied expression.

The other one was a novice with chestnut-colored hair. She was striking an aggressive pose that did not make her look as cool as she thought she looked.

“……”

A second glance confirmed that they were definitely two people I had met before. Apparently at some point, in a place unfamiliar to me, these two acquaintances of mine had become acquainted with each other.

“What’s the matter? Elaina, you’re making a really strange face for some reason.”

“No, it’s just… It’s nothing.”

I was extremely curious to know how on earth the two of them had managed to destroy any sort of criminal enterprise. Compared to their success, the thought of our pitiful showing was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

“By the way, Elaina.” Avelia looked at me and said, “My sister is here in this city now, too. Naturally, since we’re traveling together…”

“…Oh, that’s right.”

Avelia and Amnesia were traveling together, looking for a new hometown, so even though they had gone their separate ways when they had arrived here, when Avelia went back to her hotel, Amnesia would probably be there as usual.

I hadn’t seen her even once while I’d been here, though.

“Do you want to see her? If you like, I could bring her with me tomorrow or something…”

Avelia mumbled quietly, “In any case, she would come flying over if she knew that you were here…” Then she turned to look out the window.

From what I could see, she seemed sulky and jealous.

“……”

I found her behavior funny and laughed a little.

“No, that’s fine.”

Then I shook my head slowly and said to her, “There’s nothing quite like the sense of distance that I feel from someone who I would like to meet again someday, when I want to see them but can’t.”

If we were close enough to meet whenever we wanted, I would probably become just like the customers who’d gotten their hearts ensnared by the catnip plot.

So for now, I would just take it easy and look forward to the day that fate brought us together again.