Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 12 - Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

Return 

S NOW WAS FALLING lightly in the Northern Territories. 

It had been approximately four months since I first set out. Autumn and the beastmen’s mating season had long since passed, leading into a long winter season. There was snow up to my ankles, even in the middle of the forest. If we’d gotten here even a month later, the snow would’ve been all the way up to my chest, making it difficult to travel the rest of the way to Sharia. 

“Miss Elinalise and I will lead the way,” I said. 

If any monsters popped up, we would defeat them all. Mana wasn’t a problem. Zenith was walking without any complaints of exhaustion. The armadillo was shivering, but it would be fine as long as I warmed it with my magic occasionally. 

Everything’s fine, I thought to myself as we went. 

One evening, Elinalise and I were on lookout together. 

“Rudeus, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” she blurted out suddenly. I could already vaguely sense what the contents of that conversation would be. Roxy, no doubt. 

I sat directly in front of her, legs folded beneath me—the perfect posture to prostrate myself before her if she started condemning me. Elinalise took a more comfortable seat on the ground. 

I wondered how she’d express her anger. Would she lash out at me for disrespecting Sylphie? Or would she scold me for sleeping with Roxy? 

But she did neither. 

“Rudeus, you’re not a follower of Millis, are you?” 

“Huh…?” 

I didn’t understand what she meant, but I did know that there was only one person I could call God. That hadn’t changed since I was little. 

“I’m not,” I said finally. 

“I didn’t think so. Sylphie isn’t either, is she?” 

“No, she shouldn’t be.” 

Sylphie wasn’t religious. In fact, the only devoted Millis follower I knew was Cliff. He had an amulet of the church dangling from his neck, and once a week, he attended something akin to Mass at the church. Sylphie wore no such symbols of Millis, and she didn’t go to the church. Maybe Cliff was a poor comparison—it was possible she did have faith, but I’d never heard her say as much, if so. 

“My Cliff is a stout believer,” she said. 

“He sure is,” I agreed immediately, having just thought of him as well. 

“Did you know the Millis faith rules that a man can only have one single wife?” 

“So it seems.” 

Elinalise continued, “It’s an old-fashioned kind of edict, saying a man must love his wife for the rest of his life. Still, it feels pretty good to be on the receiving end of such affection.” 

That sounded about right. I had no doubt it felt good to love someone with the whole of your being and be loved just the same in return. My wavering, cheating heart, on the other hand, had wandered to Roxy. 

I did love her. There was no doubt about that. But I also remembered how miserable I’d been when I had ED. Sylphie had been the one who cured me and brought happiness back into my life, and so I wanted to repay her with love that would fulfill her in return. Those feelings were just as strong. 

“However, Rudeus,” Elinalise started. 

“Yes?” 

“I’m different. I don’t think loving multiple partners at the same time is wrong.” 

“I’m not surprised to hear you feel that way, but isn’t that insincere?” I asked. 

Elinalise merely shook her head. “If you threw Sylphie aside, that would be one thing. But as long as you love her like you should, it’s not insincere.” 

“If you have two people to love, that means the time you can afford to give each of them will be halved, right?” 

“It’s not like you’re with each other all day long, right? It won’t be halved. It might be a little less than it was before, but that’s it.” 

So, taking a second partner wouldn’t be a problem even if the affection I gave my first partner was reduced because of it? Humans could be oblivious to emotional upticks, but rather sensitive to even minute reductions. It would be terrible if Sylphie began to think my love for her was dwindling. 

“Try to think back. After Paul married Lilia, was Zenith unhappy?” 

Happy or unhappy—I felt like that wasn’t really the issue here. Though now that she mentioned it, it was true that Zenith hadn’t been particularly unhappy. Things had been the same as before. In fact, she’d grown even closer to Lilia than before, and had looked all the happier for it. Paul might have been unhappy, given that he was suddenly on the receiving end of both of his wives’ attacks, but…perhaps that was a kind of happiness in and of itself. One that would never return. 

“What is it exactly that you want to say?” I asked. Remembering Paul had brought the grief bubbling back up. It might only worsen if we continued to talk about him. I just wanted to hear what Elinalise’s point was. 

“Take Roxy as your wife. You love her, don’t you?” 

I froze. “Are you being serious right now?” 

“Yes, of course I am.” 

“Miss Elinalise, is that really okay for you to say? You are Sylphie’s grandmother. Shouldn’t you be looking out for her happiness?” 

Not that I had any right to blame her. I was the one who’d had an affair; the one who’d broken my oath to Sylphie and slept with Roxy. That fact remained unchanged, regardless of the circumstances. And yet, I found myself taking an accusatory tone. 

“Yes, I can say it. No one else could say this but me,” she said haughtily as she looked at me. “I realize I shouldn’t say it like this, but before I was Sylphie’s grandmother, I was Roxy’s close friend.” 

For a moment I didn’t understand what she meant. Then I realized she was talking about the order in which they’d met. Elinalise had met Roxy first, then encountered Sylphie later on. 

“Honestly, I can’t stand to look at Roxy the way she is right now. She yearns to throw herself into the relationship and lean on you, but is forcing herself to hang back, just because she happened to meet you too late.” 

I felt bad for Roxy when she put it like that…but I also felt bad for Sylphie when I looked at it from her perspective. 

“If you part on bad terms, I have no doubt she’ll lead a miserable life. It’s possible some dirtbag will take advantage of her, treat her terribly, and then sell her off as collateral for his unpaid loans, causing her to end up bearing the child of a man she doesn’t even know.” 

“Isn’t that going a bit too far?” I asked uncomfortably. 

“I know of a woman who led such a life.” 

She spoke so frankly I found myself wondering for a moment if she was speaking of her own personal experience. 

Elinalise continued, “I want Roxy to be happy, even if that happiness comes with conditions.” 

“I mean, I want the same thing.” 

“Rudeus, I know you can do it. You can love Sylphie and Roxy just the same. You’re Paul’s son, after all. You should be able to do that.” 

Could I really? Perhaps. No, definitely. I did love them both equally. I did and I could. But was that really okay? Was it okay to say as much—to be that self-serving? 

No. These were just the whisperings of the devil. I couldn’t listen to them. 

“No, Sylphie is my only—” 

“I didn’t plan on saying this,” Elinalise cut in, raising her voice. Her tone grew hushed again as she continued, “But when we drank together in Bazaar, Roxy told me that her monthly visitor still hadn’t come.” 

“Huh?” Monthly visitor…? Oh, wait! I knew what that was. Uh, but…did that mean…? 

“Well, it’s not for certain yet,” she added. 

We’d done the deed. It was possible. Plus, the night they’d gotten drunk, she had come and beaten on my chest (albeit weakly). Maybe that had been a sign? 

Elinalise peered into my face and said, “Rudeus, if Roxy really is pregnant with your child, what will you do?” 

Her question conjured an image in my head of Paul back in the day…back when Lilia was pregnant with his child. He’d looked so pitiful. I was the one who had saved him back then, when he’d been helpless. Now, I thought he was a man deserving of respect. But that didn’t mean I wanted to make the same mistakes he had. 

“…I’ll do what must be done.” 

“Which is?” she prompted. 

“I’ll marry her.” 

Marry! The moment the word left my mouth, it felt like my heart had dropped into my stomach. 

I loved Sylphie, but I also wanted to marry Roxy and have her be a part of my family. I didn’t want anyone else to take her. I wanted to make her mine. It was selfish of me. I’d said the same thing to Sylphie, gotten her pregnant with my child, and now I desired another woman as well. It was unforgivable. Only a piece of garbage could think the way I was thinking. 

I’d said the same of Paul so many times up until now—called him a piece of garbage just the same—but I was a man, too. Now that I had two women that I loved and wanted, couldn’t I do my best to have them both, just as Paul had done? Perhaps Sylphie would be disgusted with me and Roxy would abandon me. But wasn’t it worth trying, even if I lost them both? 

Oh, that’s right. This wasn’t just up to me. 

“Whether Roxy and Sylphie agree to it is a different story,” I said finally. 

“Indeed. Well, I’ll go get Roxy.” 

“Huh?” 

Leaving me with those words, Elinalise immediately strode into one of the nearby tents. 

After a few moments, Roxy came out by herself. She didn’t seem the least bit sleepy. Instead, she glanced over at me with a nervous look on her face. Perhaps Elinalise had said something to her. 

“What is it that you wanted to talk to me about, Rudy?” She sat in front of me, legs folded up under her. I followed her lead and sat up straighter. 

What was I supposed to say? Everything was happening so fast. I hadn’t come up with the words yet. No, thinking wasn’t necessary. My feelings for Roxy weren’t something I needed to think over before speaking. 

“Um, I’ve been wanting to say this for a very, very long time,” I began. 

“Yes?” 

“I love you, Teacher. I always have, since long, long ago. And I don’t just love you—I respect you. You seem to be self-conscious of the fact that you can’t use magic as well as me, but that doesn’t matter to me. Your teachings have helped me numerous times. They’re the only reason I was able to make it this far.” 

Roxy’s face gradually heated up. Mine was probably tinged pink as well. Talking face to face like this was embarrassing. 

“Well, thank you for that.” 

“But, um,” I added, stammering, “uh, you see, I also have a wife.” 

“Yes, I’ve heard.” 

Was it really appropriate to say, “So please be my second wife”? Wasn’t that a selfish way to put it? But I couldn’t think of a better way to spin it. 

What should I do? 

I just had to say it. No matter how I spun it, my request remained the same. I was suggesting not splitting up with Sylphie, but instead, trying to bring Roxy into the family without seeking Sylphie’s input first. I would have to get her approval after the fact. That was exactly the kind of thing a garbage human being would do. 

Still, I had to say it now. Roxy might wander off if I didn’t. She was the kind to immediately set off once the job at hand was done. If I didn’t stop her now, it might be too late. 

…Enough. If I was going to regret not saying it later, then I should blurt it out now. Even if that made me a piece of shit. 

“My wife’s name is Sylphiette Greyrat now, but she didn’t originally have a surname. She was just Sylphiette.” 

Roxy nodded. “Yes, so I’ve heard.” 

“Would you mind making your name Roxy Greyrat as well?” 

She looked suspicious for a moment. But she must’ve realized what I meant in the next instant, because she clamped a hand over her mouth. Roxy regained her composure almost as quickly. “I appreciate you saying that, truly. But are you sure you shouldn’t get your wife’s approval first?” 

Of course. We were talking about a complete stranger becoming part of our family—I absolutely had to consult Sylphie. I’d also need to explain it to my younger sisters. Lilia, too. 

“I do need her approval,” I admitted. 

“In that case…” 

She was going to turn me down. It seemed Roxy wanted me to choose her, and only her, after all. No sooner had that thought popped into the back of my head than… 

“In that case, please ask me again after you’ve received her approval,” Roxy said with a serious look on her face, the snow sprinkling down around us. 

Please ask me again. The words echoed in my mind. I felt my body heat up as I registered the fact that she hadn’t rejected me. 

We drew close to the Magic City of Sharia. 

I talked to Lilia about Roxy as well. Her usual poker face in place, she merely said, “I see, then. Very well.” It didn’t sound like she judged me for it, probably because she’d been in the same position as Roxy before. 

No, that wasn’t it. It was because the notion of monogamous marriage only existed in Millis. Either way, it took a weight off my shoulders to have made my promise to Roxy and gained Lilia’s understanding. All that remained was to get home, explain the circumstances of the trip to Sylphie, and bow my head before her as I pleaded for Roxy’s inclusion into the family. 

I still felt the weight of the knowledge that I would need to explain Paul and Zenith’s situation to Aisha and Norn. But they would have to accept it, as I had. I was certain Norn would react with anger and blame me, but I was still going to do it. I wasn’t going to run. No matter how things turned out, I would have no regrets. 

“…Regrets?” 

Just then, anxiety reared its ugly head. 

Those were the Man-God’s words. He’d said I would “regret” something. 

True enough, there was Paul’s death, Zenith becoming a husk, and me losing my left hand. I’d lost a lot. Yet strangely enough, I didn’t feel regret. I could thank Roxy for that. 

Yes, part of me thought: If only I’d been stronger, if only I’d learned how to wield the sword better, if only I’d been strong enough to defeat that hydra. But another part of me felt strongly that it would’ve been impossible either way. My aptitude for battle wasn’t the best. I couldn’t wrap that battle aura stuff around my body, nor did I know how to try. You had to be able to manipulate your battle aura to advance as a swordsman. Besides, the hydra had been immune to magic. Even if I had worked diligently to learn King-tier spells, they would’ve been useless. There might have been some other way, but the past was the past. 

That was why I had no regrets. Paul’s death had allowed me to reflect on my past. I’d worried people and caused them trouble, but ultimately, there was good that had come out of it all. What I felt wasn’t regret—it was sadness. Just sadness. Sadness was all I carried with me from the Begaritt Continent. 

But that was also why I felt anxious now. Perhaps the thing I would really regret was yet to come. For instance, maybe something had happened to the little sisters I left behind. 

Remember what he said. 

He’d mentioned this-and-that about Linia and Pursena. Did that mean something had happened to one of them then? Was I supposed to have enlisted their help to solve some kind of problem here? 

Or—don’t tell me—had something happened to my pregnant wife…? 

Those were the only things that might leave me with regrets. 

Despite my apprehension, we couldn’t move any faster. The weather had worsened, and the snow was rapidly picking up. The others seemed unfazed, but Zenith was struggling. I used my earth magic to craft a seat I could hoist onto my back, and carried her. The armadillo looked half-frozen. Perhaps we should have left it behind after all, but it was already too late for that. 

I should at least give it a name so it doesn’t die without one, I decided. 

Dillo. Dillo was a good name. Do your best, Dillo! 

It had taken just five days to reach the ruins when we were on our way to Begaritt, but it was taking over ten on the return journey. It wasn’t that long, compared to all my adventures so far. And yet, somehow, it felt like the longest leg of the entire trip. 

*** 

We arrived at the Magic City of Sharia. 

I immediately headed for my house, feeling my pace quicken. 

“Hey, Boss, what is it? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost. Shouldn’t you cast some of that Detoxification stuff on yourself?” Geese asked with concern. 

I ignored him and just continued my hurried advance. 

“Ah, so this is the center of the city, eh? Should we go ahead and get ourselves an inn for now? There’s no way we can all stay at Boss’ place with this many people.” 

There was someone talking behind me, but their words didn’t reach my ears. 

“Hey, Boss, you listenin’? Boss? Hey, Rudeus!” 

At some point, I broke into a sprint. I left everyone behind and dashed toward my house—down the familiar streets I’d walked before, in a city I’d lived in for over a year now. Those I passed regarded me with confusion, wondering what my hurry was, but I went as fast as I could, stumbling, completely off balance. Perhaps the lack of a left hand was impeding my ability to run smoothly. 

Just as I was about to fall over, someone grabbed me and held me upright. 

“What is all of this hurry for?” 

It was Elinalise. 

“It’s just…” I started to say, grasping for words. 

She waited a moment before asking again, “What is it? You’ve been panicking for a bit now. Did something happen?” 

“Oh, no, um, I just have this feeling that Sylphie is in trouble.” 

“In trouble? Based on what?” 

“Nothing, really.” 

I brushed her off and broke into a hurried walk again. I wanted to relieve this anxiety as quickly as possible. My house was just ahead. If things were as they should be, Sylphie’s stomach should be heavy with a baby, and she should be home. Or maybe she’d already given birth? It would be a premature one, if so. If that had happened, then maybe…? 

Anything but that. Anything else. I just didn’t want any more bad things to happen. 

I arrived at the house. The snow had piled up, but the place didn’t look that much different from when I’d left. The number of trees and potted plants in the garden had increased slightly; a product of Aisha’s hobby, I assumed. The place looked more beautiful than it had before. 

I snatched my key out of my belongings, shoved it in the hole on the door, and struggled to turn it. The metal was cold and my hand was trembling. The door wouldn’t open; the key wouldn’t turn. 

“Tch.” 

I reached for the door knocker. It felt like ice on my skin, but I banged it several times anyways. 

“Are you sure it isn’t already open?” asked Elinalise from behind me. 

As she suggested, I tried the doorknob, turned and pulled, and it came open. 

Too careless, I thought as I started to step in. 

My eyes immediately met those of someone at the opposite end of the room, trying to open a door. 

“Oh, big brother?!” 

“Aisha…is everyone safe?” 

“What do you mean?” Puzzled, Aisha’s gaze flitted between me and Elinalise—now standing beside me—then behind us. When I followed and looked back, I saw Roxy struggling to catch her breath. 

For the moment, I grabbed Aisha by the shoulders. She must have sensed something was off, because she glanced at her right shoulder and her eyes went wide. Visibly shocked, she looked between my face and my hand. 

“Huh? What is this? What happened to your—” 

“I see you’re safe. What about Sylphie?” 

“Huh? Oh, um…she’s right in here?” 

At her words, I realized that just behind Aisha, looking equally puzzled…was Sylphie. Her stomach had doubled or perhaps tripled in size. Even her breasts were a bit swollen. She was about seven or eight months along now, probably already producing breast milk… no, that didn’t matter right now. 

“Rudy, wh-what is it?” she asked. 

“Sylphie, are you all right? Nothing’s happened?” 

“Huh? No, everyone has been really wonderful to me, and Aisha’s been doing her best to help out as well.” 

So Sylphie was fine? Yes, I could see as much. 

“What about everyone else?” I asked. “Norn? Are Linia and Zanoba and the rest safe?” 

“Huh? Safe? Nothing’s happened here,” she said, still confused. 

“No one’s gotten sick or injured?” 

“N-no, nothing noteworthy…” Sylphie looked utterly dumbfounded, as if she had no idea what I was talking about. 

Seeing that expression, I realized…there really was nothing wrong. 

“Um, Big Brother?” 

By the time I realized it, Aisha’s face was towering over me. Boy, she sure had grown. No, wait—I’d just sunk to the floor. 

“Okay…” I breathed out. 

The tension left my body. 

In the end, the regret the Man-God had spoken of was the regret around Paul’s death and the deaths of my parents from my previous life. The rest of my anxiety had been needless worry. 

“Haah…” As that sank in, I let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank God.” 

Sylphie gradually approached and rested her hand on my shoulder. I could feel her warmth spread through the fabric of my robe. She immediately knelt down and gently wrapped her arms around me. I slipped mine around her as well—albeit clumsily, with my left hand missing—and squeezed. Her familiar scent filled my nose. 

“Welcome home, Rudy.” 

There was so much I needed to tell her—about Paul, about Zenith, about Roxy. I also needed to welcome those I’d left in the plaza into my home. I’d come all the way here by myself, after all. I’d panicked a bit too much. Nothing had happened. I should’ve just taken my time with the others. 

But there was something I needed to say first, before I did any of that. 

“I’m home.” 

I’d returned.