CHAPTER 1: IN THE PLACE WE HAVE RETURNED
—It almost seems as if the overcast sky is reflecting the state of Subaru's mind.
Six dragon carriages stand lined outside Crusch's mansion. Among the vehicles are those already loaded with the Arlam village escapees, and one special carriage left empty for Subaru and Emilia.
The journey will be long. That they are not riding alongside the children as they had on the way over is because Subaru has mountains of things he must discuss with Emilia, and because not even he is insensitive enough to arrange that she and the children be together.
???: “It will be lonely here.”
Calls a voice from behind Subaru as he quietly gazes over the line of carriages. He turns his head, for his sight to land on Crusch. With the damp air stroking her green hair and her eyes downcast, Subaru nods.
Subaru: “Say we stay ages and nothing'll move along, and say we keep leeching off you and that's nothing going. —But, I know that resting quietly's what I should be doing really.”
Clenching and unclenching his fists, Subaru smiles wryly as he considers his physical condition. Thinking back on it, Subaru had first come to this mansion to restore his ailed body. Roswaal's underlying intentions had slipped in there, and loathe to say it but the clown's wishes had beautifully come into fruition. A facade-destroying, purpose-defeating fruition but still.
Crusch: “Should it be your will to do so, Natsuki Subaru-sama, our household would have no complaint in providing you indefinite stay... would be beyond what I can say, I'm sure.”
Subaru: “I'm happy for your kindness, and I'm sure there is a lot I could learn, but our side has piles of issues we need to sort out too. If we don't do things about the White Whale and about SLOTH after we've calmed our situations down, the merchants are going to grab everything.”
Shaking his head at Crusch's friendly answer, Subaru thinks about the Julius-includant Anastasia faction. Thinking only of the circumstances around the White Whale and Sloth subjugations, and viewing this best-called three-party joint-warfare in terms of balancing gains and losses, Anastasia is the overwhelming victor. Crusch's faction had succeeded in the four-hundred year achievement of slaying the White Whale— However, the damages their leader Crusch had sustained were beyond disregard. With Subaru's group having become the lynchpin for slaying SLOTH, Emilia's faction was in the same position—but that matters were progressing without Roswaal boded ill. And although their damages had not been as severe as those suffered by Crusch's faction, as far as Subaru was concerned a tremendous wound remained.
Anastasia's faction, which had lost a section of its mercenary squad but retained its candidate, her Knight, and other combat forces in good condition had not been the axle of either subjugation effort —but they possessed the valuable dividend of having preformed a large role while sustaining minimal damage.
Damages—Compared to the two factions who would hesitate on when to go public due to their extremity, that Anastasia lacked such was huge. Even if only to keep Anastasia's faction in check, they must keep in a tight relationship with Crusch's faction.
Crusch slips a weary sigh at Subaru's partly-mercenary decision. Subaru furrows his brows at her, but with a slightly shamed expression she gives a wave of her hands.
Crusch: “Nevermind,”
Crusch: “That was truly womanish of me. Simply, being incapable of offering even the slightest aid to a benefactor leaves me entirely ashamed with my insufficient self...”
Subaru: “Instantly getting the debt repaid would be a nice story for the helper, but you don't need to give that much consideration when you're having a hard time yourself. Or really, I've already gotten my repayment.”
Says Subaru as he glances at the head of the line of carriages. There stands clearly adorned with more ornamentation compared to the other carriages is a high-quality VIP vehicle, and the dragon pulling this honourable carriage is—
Crusch: “A story without greed. Healing a wounded dragon, and then wishing to adopt it.”
Subaru: “She's the man who saved my life... or not, dragon. We haven't known each other long, but she might be the partner I've skirted the line of death with the most in my life. Since it'd mean getting involved in my future troubles too I figured it would be an unbearable idea from Patrasche's perspective.”
???: “—I would find no need in being concerned on that matter.”
The soft denial of Subaru's words as he glances at the earth dragon—Patrasche—comes from Wilhelm. The old swordsman had been checking the condition of Patrasche's carriage until then, and he nods in recognition of his cutting in on their conversation.
Wilhelm: “It is not so common that a Diana, a picky breed even among earth dragons, present their body in protecting their rider. This dragon is considerably attached to you, Subaru-dono.”
Subaru: “Although it isn't that I remember doing anything so big. It was only that I chose a dragon who clicked when they said I could choose whichever dragon I liked before the White Whale battle.”
Good affinity, would seem the truth of it. It was another point where his luck had simply been good. Subaru suspected that had it been any dragon but Patrasche, he would not have survived either the White Whale or SLOTH fights. Meaning,
Subaru: “My body won't be satisfied by any dragon except you now! Oh, Patrasche, you minx!”
Touching his palm to Patrasche's smooth flank region, a flirty Subaru glimpses up a Patrasche. She looks down at him with eyes suggesting absolute disgust for his lovey-dovey behaviour and gives her body a jerk, intending to strike his outstretched finger.
Subaru: “Augh, close! Look, even if it's to cover up your embarrassment, pulling that's going too far yeah. Ever since that time I put too much energy into classroom chores in middle school, this finger stuff makes my heart-rate go crazy! I'm so traumatized!”
Wilhelm: “The dragon is merely teasing. Such intimate banter in itself occurs exactly because there is an unwavering bond of trust between you.”
Subaru: “Does this look like banter!? Feels to me like I'm just prattling off at her, and she's rejecting me with body language!”
Their bond of trust communicates without words in dreadful situations, but separate the two from some dismal scene temporarily and this happens. Having a proud Madame as his partner was unexpectedly difficult. Although even with her cold behaviour she ultimately still lets him pet her.
Subaru: “My name'll be acknowledged as part of the White Whale subjugation, and the SLOTH subjugation means Emilia-tan's safe and protected. And then I get a ground dragon that I like... it's unbeatable compensation.”
Wilhelm: “That you do not realise how momentous a feat it is to have slain the White Whale could be called part of your charm, Subaru-dono. The world will doubtless come to reward you in a more appropriate manner for the deed. I do await the day.”
Subaru: “Though, not like I think it was really anything that ridiculous. Running around waving food in a whale's face is a real thing, you know?”
With that not-humble statement from Subaru, Wilhelm's eyes take on a look as though he is seeing something rather pleasant. The warmth of the gaze gives Subaru discomfort, and he shakes his head to drive the feeling away.
Subaru: “Well, Patrasche aside... It appears I'll shortly be parting with you, Wilhelm-san. Please take care to look after your injury.”
Wilhelm: “Your concern is appreciated. —It appears some distance is between us now, and matters will presently settle merely with bloodshed. Someday, I shall surely stand alongside you once again. Until then.”
Wilhelm's wound—the haemophilic cut inflicted by the previous Sword Saint, Theresia. Faced with the reality of this old injury having reopened, Wilhelm's eyes host a sharp glint. His focus is set on the two Cardinals of Sin who assaulted Crusch, GLUTTONY and GREED. Should there be anything other than the White Whale associated with the death of the wife of the sword demon, being that those two were the most recently present, they would be the most likely contenders.
Just like Wilhelm, Subaru holds an intense grudge against GLUTTONY. He would most likely end up having to eventually face the Cardinals. They're the leaders of a group
Subaru would much rather like to avoid, but GLUTTONY alone is different. He would assuredly defeat this Cardinal of whom he knew only the title, there being many things he had to get back. Crusch's memories were one of those, and most importantly—
???: “Subaru-kyun. Rem-chan's secured, come check.”
A cat-eated someone leans out of Patrasche's carriage to speak—it's Felis. Subaru runs over to the carriage to peek inside. And, with one seating area of the spacious interior dismantled to give room for a simple bed, there he sees sleeping a single girl. Rather than her familiar maid outfit, it is a thin blue gown which garbs the body of this blue-haired girl. In wakeless sleep and forgotten completely by those around her is that single girl. Who loved Subaru, and Subaru had willed to love back, that girl.
Subaru: “She's not gonna get thrown off or anything right?”
Felis: “Nyow I paid proper attention to that. Myaybe I'm not perfect but I am still a practitioner of the healing arts? Or really, with hyow treatment on Rem-chan's wounds finished ages ago, it's pretty hard to call her sick or a patient, mhm!”
Her face appears relaxed as Subaru gazes on, Felis' tone in speaking to him thoroughly casual. But his expression is clearly different from usual, him apparently still feeling a keen sense of his own impotence. That said Subaru suspects the reason for his acute feeling of powerless is not Rem, but his unparalleled master.
Felis: “You're really taking her home with you?”
Subaru: “I'm taking her back. Even if she convalesces here, it's not like she'll heal... Er, I mean, that wasn't me being sarcastic at you or anything.”
Felis: “I knyow that. Subaru-kyun, you're nyot that mean of a person.”
Felis smiles wryly, when his eyes suddenly narrow and he jabs his raised finger at Subaru's face.
Felis: “Myore importantly,”
Felis: “It's true for Rem-chan too, but isn't the bigger problem here you, Subaru-kyun!?”
Subaru: “Me?”
Felis: “Mm-hmm, and you knyow it. Your gates are still past their limit, aren't they? Forcing so much mana through them while we were midway through recovery means your gates's entrances should be myore than a little dyamaged. Is your body sluggish?”
Subaru rotates his neck and shoulders. He finds nothing out of sorts with his body, having been treated for external wounds. He tries jumping on the spot and so on, but nothing particularly in line with Felis' concerns happens.
Subaru: “Nywell, looks like no problem. And anyway you have the part where I wasn't using it like someone who uses it. Nevermind the gates or whatever, magic isn't something you use like an everyday thing.”
Felis: “That's what syomeone who dyoesn't use magic would think. If it were Feli-chan, being unable to use magic'd be nyothing but an emergency, but... well, gyuess it's fine.”
Subaru speaks nonchalantly and with no sense of crisis. Felis gives up on pressing the issue any further, but does make a show of pulling back and tilting his head, his eyes big and wide.
Felis: “But you're still nyot allowed to be pushing your gate, 'kay? I was trying to get the toxins out of your body, Subaru-kyun, but the dyamage that did to your torn-up gates isn't healed. Give it proper time for recovery, and... two months, gyoing by looks.”
Subaru: “Two months. You know, that's a low hurdle for someone who went seventeen years without using magic.”
...is how he jokes around at that diagnosis, but Subaru remembers that it hasn't even been two months since he entered this world. His personal time had it closing in on four months, but still a month and a half in real time—and he felt he'd come an extremely long way. Thinking of all that had happened over that period, he could no longer tell how high that hurdle of 'two months of peace and quiet' really was.
Subaru: “Well, there's no way I could constantly be getting mixed up in commotions like that all the t—oh man, did I just trip a flag!? I feel like I heard something go 'pyi-kon!'”
Felis: “I am afraid to say that treating the brain is outside of Feli-chan's expertise.”
Subaru's own words stupefy him as Felis replies in a much colder tone. Hearing that, Subaru judges that he should end the conversation about here. After a moment of thought, Subaru quietly holds his hand out to Felis.
Felis: “Nywhat?”
Subaru: “Just, I feel like I haven't thanked you properly for all the help you've given me. There's healing my body, and, straight-up, if you weren't around for the White Whale and SLOTH, there's lots of places where things wouldn'tve gone right at all. ...And, I'm grateful to you for Rem.”
Felis: “...I dyon't think you're being mean or sarcastic, but that's all it turned into.”
Subaru: “That's me activating my skill, KUUKI YOMENAI. Please put up with it.”
He says the words with honest feelings of thanks, but they do not please Felis. But at least the feeling itself probably got through. Felis grasps Subaru's outstretched hand, firmly completing the handshake. While feeling Felis' palm,
Subaru: “Thin fingers, tiny hands. Rugged, manly fingers... was the development I was expecting, but it didn't happen.”
Felis: “This perfectly dressed-up adorable Feli-chan couldn't pyossibly show everyone such a disappointing development. Nyot a single unwanted hair or patch of rough skin, entirely natural.”
Felis proudly raises his ungrasped hand and flashes a glimpse of the pale legs beneath his skirt. Boldly exposed to the inviting beauty of slender, womanly legs, Subaru's shoulders droop in dejection.
Subaru: “But, he's a guy.”
Felis: “Yes, Feli-chan is a man in mind and body both.”
Subaru: “If you're that proud about it, what's with the outfit. What about this is a guy?”
Delicate clothes on men was impermissible—was not how antiquated Subaru's thinking was, but he could at least tell that Felis' behaviour plummeted far along a path antithetical to masculinity. Felis places his finger to his lips at Subaru's question, and while seductively waving his hips,
Felis: “'Cause Crusch-sama said this outfit suits Feli-chan soo weeell. For each to each, the visage which most brightens their soul suits. —All Feli-chan's doing is answering to Crusch-sama's words with full devotion.”
Subaru: “But that's something...”
That the present Crusch wouldn't know, is how Subaru goes to continue before he stops himself. Felis would already know that without Subaru having to say it. Doing so after he had purposevully brought it up would only hurt, but more importantly, it was preposterous to speak as if it was something bad for Subaru himself when around Felis. If people talking about Rem as if they knew her irritated himself, then that meant Felis definitely didn't want to hear those words from Subaru.
???: “—The Karsten clan can be damned.”
Subaru: “...Huh?”
Abruptly, those words hammer on Subaru's eardrums. Quiet, cold, an intonation with emotions frozen. The question of 'Who was that?' carries enough strength that even though Subaru has been hearing this voice from right in front of him, he is slow to put it together. His head drooped, Felis' bangs prevent his expression from showing through. Keeping that posture, Felis' grip on Subaru's hand strengthens.
Felis: “Crusch-sama alone absolutely will I protect.”
Subaru: “Fe-Felis?”
Felis: “Soooo!”
Felis' voice suddenly bounces back up as he raises his head. His eyes house the same mischievous look as always, and as if that second of transformation was a lie,
Felis: “You hafta keep your promise too, Subaru-kyun! Don't, and I'll make the mana inside you go crazy 'till you go insane and die!”
Subaru: “Don't say that while smiling! Also don't threaten partners in your ally!”
Felis: “But more than a threat, it's a death sentence?”
Subaru: “That's worse! Geez.”
Subaru shakes his hand out of the handshake and turns his back to Felis. He glances over to see if their ruckus brought any change in Rem—but it amounts to nothing more than a faint hope. Letting out a small sigh, Subaru forgets his betrayed hopes as he exits the carriage. He then discovers Emilia, carrying some luggage from the mansion and talking with Crusch and Wilhelm.
Emilia: “Ah, Subaru. Is Rem-san's bed properly set up?”
Subaru: “Yeah, Felis did it perfect. With me and Patrasche's exquisite combination, we could have a whole Kinoshita Grand Circus and she won't fall off.”
Emilia: “I don't really get it, but the hunch I have is sooo bad so let's not have a grand circus, okay?”
Subaru: “There's a shame. My heart was pounding anticipating how you'd feel about the tightrope.”
That said his EXPOSING MY LIFE TO DANGER BY MY OWN DEVICES, COULD THE BEATING OF THIS HEART POSSIBLY BE LOVE!? Plan is really the epitome of causing trouble just to reap the benefits. Although, hearing the phrase REM-SAN come from Emilia prompts a pain of a magnitude he had not anticipated to stab Subaru through the heart.
Emilia's narrow for an instant as she sees Subaru shut his mouth. But before she can bring it up, Felis emerges from behind Subaru and hops down to the ground.
Felis: “Now, looks like the carriages're all ready, and stretching it out'll just make the goodbye harder. —If you would have any final remarks, Crusch-sama.”
Crusch: “Yes, right.”
Felis goes to Crusch, her taking a step toward Subaru and Emilia. Being up above is rude, and so Subaru exits the carriage as Felis had and heads to Emilia's side. Crusch takes a deep breath, and with her hand to her chest,
Crusch: “Firstly, although I am unsure how many times I have restated this, I am deeply grateful to the both of you. I believe that the fact my life still remains although my memories are lost, and that I am still connected to the wish I held before my memories were lost, is explicitly because of my collaboration with you two. I thank you very much.”
Emilia: “N-no... I didn't do anything deserving your gratitude, Crusch-sama. I've been almost completely out of the loop on what's happened the last few days.”
Subaru: “Well, in real terms it's an empty achievement for Emilia-tan. But my efforts were definitely in there, so relax. My achievements are my Emilia-tan's achievements.”
Subaru cheerfully taps his hand to his chest as he backs up an obliged Emilia. She glances at him and gives a small nod.
Emilia: “Thanks. —I don't remember becoming yours yet, though.”
Subaru: “Aguh. Someone saw through my plan to use the situation to say that to a third party where it couldn't be denied!?”
Emilia: “I'm always vigilant and don't leave openings. …Ah, we've gotten completely off topic. I'm sorry.”
Subaru presses his hand to his chest and retreats far backwards, Emilia sighing at him as she apologizes to an abandoned Crusch. But she looks on pleasantly at the pair's back-and-forth.
Crusch: “No worry, you two simply get along so well it provokes jealousy. I'll also need to swiftly be open with Felis and Wilhelm-sama, as I was before.”
Felis: “Feli-chan's heart and body are always fully open to Crusch-samaaa.”
Hands to his cheeks and his body swaying to and fro is Felis. Ignoring the boygirl wobbling like an octopus behind her, and with her capacity to accept this situation alone unchanged, a feminine smile rises on Crusch's face.
Crusch: “Let us meet again soon. I desire that my relationship with you, Emilia-sama and Natsuki Subaru-sama, be both familiar and eternal.”
Subaru figures that not any fabrication, but her truest feelings. She had lost her memories, but not her purity. The trappings of lies and pretence suited her life, which radiated the word 'sincerity', not at all. And her statement clearly conveyed that. Emilia's eyes shoot open in surprise, and with her lips faintly trembling,
Emilia: “I... I'm an opposing candidate to you, Crusch-sama. Even if we're allied now, we'll definitely go back to competing with each other.”
Crusch: “Yes, that is right. With Emilia-sama as an opposing candidate, I will have to firmly endeavour so as not to lose.”
Emilia: “But even if I weren't, I'm a half-elf. A silver-haired one. ...aren't you afraid?”
Subaru: “Emilia-tan, that's...”
Not something you need to ask, Subaru intends to say to stop her. But seeing and recognizing the seriousness and intensity in Emilia's eyes, he can't continue. Emilia was asking that question with full earnesty. As someone who knew even a fragment of her emotions here, he couldn't frivolously butt in on that query. And more importantly, Subaru knew the person being asked this question was Crusch Karsten. — And the lack of necessity to interrupt.
Crusch: “The manner of a soul's being determines the value of the being's existence. Both yourself, and strangers, should live in a manner that brings them most brilliance, that brings their soul no shame.”
Emilia: “—”
Crusch: “...is what it seems I was fond of saying before. How to say... now that my viewpoint has become more objective, how high and above those words sound.”
Her hand to her mouth, Crusch holds back an incompletely surpressed smile at her past self. Hearing her stuns Emilia into complete silence.
Crusch: “Emilia-sama, would you yourself believe your manner of living embarrassing?”
Emilia: “...I would, not. I live believing that no matter what the people around me think, I can keep living without hating myself.”
Crusch: “Then there is nothing to lament or fear. You polish yourself, pile effort upon effort, maintain your own way of being without err—you are the possessor of a wonderful soul.”
Smiling, Crusch holds the hand on her chest out to Emilia.
Crusch: “I am glad to have become your acquaintance. No fear is in me in the least.”
Emilia: “—hk”
Emilia bites her lips as if feeling a pain in her chest as she and looks down at the offered hand. Without any hurrying her along, Crusch silently waits for Emilia's response. Eventually, timidly, Emilia's fingertips meet Crusch's palm, and the two share a gentle handshake.
Crusch: “Stay in health. I will be awaiting the next, surely not distant, time we may meet.”
Emilia: “I'll... No, next time I'll have become someone who can stand directly before you, too, Crusch-sama. Until then, stay well.”
The two candidates for ruler pledge their will to fight between them, and the promise is shared. Watching their exchange from aside, a sense of accomplishment wells up to fill Subaru's chest. This was a manifestation of one of the things Subaru had suffered, struggled, been wounded for, and now finally acquired. Although not that he had gotten here while perfectly preserving every absolutely every single thing.
Subaru: “I don't want to make it your fault for me to have a reason to forget all I've accomplished like this and look all depressed.”
Glancing back at the carriage, the image of the girl sleeping inside rises beneath Subaru's eyelids. He couldn't forgive himself for using Rem as a reason to look downwards during a situation that should've been a blessing. Rem wouldn't have wanted anything like that—though, him thinking like that was more than likely his ego.
Crusch: “Natsuki Subaru-sama too, stay in health. I will be praying from my heart of hearts for your future activities, and... for her recovery.”
Subaru: “I think it's best there aren't so many situations where I'm doing any big activity, though. ...straight up, I'm someone who's only useful as an absolute last resort. What happened to Rem isn't unrelated to you either, Crusch-san. I will do something, no matter what.”
Crusch presents her hand to Subaru as well. Accepting it with a handshake somehow feels shamefully awkward, so Subaru answers by slapping his palm against hers to obfuscate the feeling. A small clap peals out, and that is the end of the contact between Subaru and Crusch. Seeing her rebounded hands, Crusch gives a small blink. And,
Crusch: “Absolutely, let us meet again.”
Crusch and Felis give a dignified bow, seeing Subaru and his group off.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
—A suffocating atmosphere fills the carriage on the journey back home.
This Patrasche-drawn carriage Crusch had given them as repayment was most likely another symbol of her thanks—even disregarding its ornamentation it is clearly of expensive make, the softness of its seating and glamour of its décor crossing the line for a lack of calm. Nearly ten people could board and the spacious carriage would likely still have room to spare, and with only three people occupying the space the overwhelming vacancy is a natural result.
The ones guarding over the silence in the carriage are Subaru and Emilia, as well as a sleeping Rem. No urge strikes Subaru to part from the Sleeping Beauty's side, and Emilia's absence of talk is perhaps also her manner of consideration for the unconscious Rem. Consequently the only atmosphere that floods though the carriage is unpleasant.
Subaru: “—Hrn.”
Can't have it like this, thinks Subaru as he crosses his arms. Boisterousness would be inexcusable, but there are many things they need to discuss. There was their stance toward the Royal Selection going onwards, and further over these few days of alliance with Crusch their parties had failed to even completely consolidate information.
Rem's situation, and how she would be treated at the mansion when no memories of her existed outside of Subaru, was another agonizing prospect. Merely thinking of what Ram would say after seeing the sleeping Rem threatened to send chills down his spine. But of course he couldn't avoid it.
Subaru: “I know it's just them being considerate, but if this's what it was gonna be then emotionally it mighta been better to be with the brats...”
Among the carriages returning to Mather's domain is of course a vehicle carrying the children who had accompanied Subaru and Emilia on the ride over. Those children should presently be riding in carriages with their parents, and here was outcome of the proactive villagers figuring and caring that the two would discuss matter they were better off not hearing. Although, their kindness does feel to have backfired. Now, what to do—thinks Subaru as he mulls over the consequences for once and looks up. When—
Otto: “It almost seems like not broaching the topic is troubling things, maybe? I can't take this heavy silence anymore...”
Subaru: “Just butting yourself right in and what do you say? Or rather, you were here?”
Otto: “Isn't that too cruel!? Of course I'm here! Don't you remember on what condition I helped you in the first place!?”
Spit flying and only his face showing though is a yelling Otto. He sits on the driver's platform where he serves as the driver, his face thrust through the communication window between the platform and carriage proper, as he mentions the utter silence inside the carriage. Subaru tilts his head, nodding.
Subaru: “I remember, I remember. Yep, it was that you wanted to meet Roswaal. ...But man, that's kinda, eh.”
Otto: “What is it?”
Subaru: “No, was just thinking it's one thing if you're just into guys, but when the partner's Roswaal... ...Ah, my preferences are normal, and since there's Emilia-tan it's gonna be trouble if you put your sights on me.”
Otto: “That's not what the request is about! Just what exactly do you think I am?!”
Subaru: “A merchant who spices things up?”
Otto: “He's treating me like something bawdy!”
Otto's eyes peel open with a look of sincere upset. Subaru gives a sighing shake of his head, Emilia's eyes wide as she watches the pair's exchange.
Emilia: “It's like... you two get along sooo well. I'm surprised.”
Subaru: “Hey hey, cut that out, you silly Emilia-tan. Lumping me in with this money-hungry dead man... You see, I'm a dead man hungry only for your love.”
Otto: “A dead man!? A dead man!? Or actually, I should mention that I'm not money-hungry or dead!” Subaru: “Shut up, Otto.” Subaru sighs at the riotous merchant, standing up and briskly walking over to the carriage's front.
He grabs the cover to the dividing window. Otto: “Ah, wait, if you do that then it'd be like you're excluding me—” Subaru: “Yup, shutting you out!” He seals the cover shut with a bang, and the face of the fussy, hollering man disappears from view.
Dusting his hands off each other and cloaked in the feeling of finishing off a job, he glances back to find Emilia looking up at him blankly. Subaru: “Pfff.” Emilia: “Heehehe.”
During that period of looking at each other, the two inadvertently burst into laughter. They leave themselves to their laughing for a while, until their voices slowly fade out into silence. And now that they'd had that laugh,
Subaru: “Wasn't like me to read the awkward mood and keep quiet.”
Emilia: “Nope, not like you at all. The Subaru I know is someone who's always energetic, ridiculous, noisy and chipper to the point it doesn't line up with my feelings at all.” Subaru: “I kinda have a feeling you could translate that as 'puts on false bravado and is socially dense.'” Either way, that Otto's existence had undone the atmosphere in the carriage was fact.
Although he loathes to feel grateful for it, Subaru mentally thanks Otto as he goes to sit next to Emilia. She smiles wryly at him as he naturally plunks himself down beside her. Emilia: “You're already zipping over to sit beside me, Subaru.” Subaru: “Well, wanting to be close to a girl you like is natural or should I say obvious? I wanna be close as possible so I can suck up the air you breathe out, Emilia-tan.”
Emilia: “That was making me feel shy until halfway through, then it suddenly turned sooo uncomfortable.” Her face red from his upfront affections, Emilia scrunches her face up at the highly perverted content of the second half. Tilting his head at her reaction,
Subaru: “No look, I just thought I'd be the same me as always and then that sentence just happened.” Emilia: “Right, because that's the kind of person you are. That kind, which is why I can never grasp the things you say properly, so...”
Trailing off at the end, Emilia speaks while staring intently at Subaru.
Scratching his head, Subaru worried and figures he should pick up from where she hesitated. Subaru: “This's the male mentality of being unable to even flirt seriously without dressing it up as a joke. That I like you, and view you erotically, and want to help you are all completely true facts. It's okay to believe in that.”
Emilia: “I do believe that, but whether I accept it is another story.” Subaru: “That's fine. Believe, and from there I'll work to make you accept it.” Subaru dimly reflects on how fucking alpha male that sounded. And in reality Emilia is notably aflutter in hearing it. She endeavours to preserve her calm expression, but her cheeks and ears are so red as to betray her. Surely, she had never been presented with unconditional fondness like this before. Although of course the flirter Subaru had no experience in this either, and his face is utterly beet red. Either way,
Subaru: “This is more like me than looking down and being depressed. Right, Rem?” Emilia: “...What did you just say?” Subaru: “I wanna pick up that pretty hair of yours and ogle the back of your neck so hard, Emilia¬ tan.” Emilia: “And you immediately cover it up. ...You're worried about Rem-san, aren't you?” Subaru smiles bitterly and gazes at the sleeping Rem. Subaru: “I'm worried. I'm super worried. I've been thinking this whole time I have to do something, and I'm sure I'll constantly be thinking about it. I do want to think of you as my number one, but... this isn't something I can put a number on. Sorry.” Emilia: “Getting mad at that would make me a bad girl. I'm not going to be mad when it's something so important. ...You can tell just by looking that she's someone important to you.”
Just like Subaru, Emilia looks over at the sleeping Rem, narrowing her eyes. Emilia's lips quiver, and after a moment of hesitation, Emilia: “You love her, don't you?” Subaru: “Love her, love her a lot. I love her as much as I love you, Emilia-tan.”
Emilia: “Saying this is a bit, but... Subaru, are you cheating?”
Subaru: “I was planning to keep relatively to one path, but I don't think a guy who could receive so much devotion and not have their heart moved'd have blood or tears in them to shed anymore.”
Subaru recalls the loop of the past several days, and all the uncompensated love Rem had given him over that time. Receive all that, and how could a heart not be stirred? Before he had even noticed it, Rem's existence had come to occupy a relatively oversized portion of Subaru's heart.
Emilia: “Even though you said you love me.”
Subaru: “Just saying, I do love Rem back, but it's Rem's love for me that's crazy. Completely head over heels, it's an utter mystery.”
Arms crossed, Subaru inevitably had to have some doubts about all that uncompensated love proffered to him. Did he really have enough merit to him for a girl as well-done as Rem to love him so much? Even now he had to wonder it. That said, he was simultaneously thinking that he'd have to become a man who matched up to that merit. Emilia's mouth loosens into a smile at Subaru's self-assessment.
Emilia: “I think I understand.”
Subaru: “Huh?”
Emilia: “Why Rem-san loves you sooo much. It's definitely 'cause whenever she was nearby, you only ever showed her your good parts. Subaru, you're like a disease that sometimes does things that're sooo cool.”
Subaru: “A disease. ...Well, I can't refute that.”
Scratching his cheek, Subaru pouts in dissatisfaction. Emilia pays Subaru's appeal no heed, and saying, “Mhm,” composes her face and closes her eyes.
Emilia: “You won't get me so easily.”
Subaru: “That means there's a good challenge. One day I'll make you crazy in love with me too, Rem'll wake up, and I'll hold both your hands in a League of Nations ruling. Ahh, just thinking about it makes me grin!”
Emilia and Rem pulling on both arms, hand in hand with each. Wouldn't that be a scene to just put a smile on the face. Which was why unconditionally, no matter what, someday he would--
Subaru: “Need to have you pull me 'till I'm torn apart.”
Emilia: “I don't know what you're thinking, but I have a feeling I have to tell you this now—don't be torn apart.”
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
The conversation in the carriage continues smoothly from there. Their migration was originally planned to take almost half a day anyway. Even with their large number of topics to discuss, Subaru and Emilia have plenty enough time to talk about them. They swap information on what happened over the past several days, lastly bringing in Otto as they plan how to proceed from hereon out. Ultimately, their conversation amounts to—
Subaru: “In the end, we can't come up with a real plan without talking to Roz-chi.”
And the talk returns to its origin point. Basically, Roswaal is the only one who comprehends the faculties and military strength that Emilia's faction possesses, and without him the faction cannot keep going.
Subaru: “Well, we can probably expect that Ram and Roswaal've met up, and're on their way back to the mansion too. Though first I'd slap him across the face then start talking from there.”
Otto: “That's quite an aggressive stance to take towards your employer the Margrave, Natsuki-san.”
Subaru: “I'd say I have the right to get away with that much, and without that he's done that much wrong he can't be allowed to get away with.”
Emilia doesn't seem to disagree, allowing Subaru “Just one” slap. They continue along in the carriage as their ends, entering Mathers' domain and passing through the forest, to arrive at Arlam village—where they immediately notice something is off.
The village looks exactly like it was when they last left it, or perhaps even more dreary and deserted. There's no signs of anyone having returned.
Otto: “It doesn't look like anyone is here, Natsuki-san. It doesn't feel as if it's been attacked, but as if nobody's returned.”
The villagers, Subaru, and Otto disembark the carriages and split into groups to look around the village—and Subaru comes to that same conclusion. The excessive silence does strike Subaru with flashbacks of the previous slaughter of villagers at Betelgeux's hands, but he manages to confirm that possibility as only a needless fear. This however presents a different problem.
Subaru: “I think Ram said that SANCTUARY is... seven, eight hours away from here. How is it that they didn't get back before us, when we stayed at the Royal Capital for three days?”
Otto: “Perhaps they're unable to gather that the Witch Cult subjugation is completed, and are being cautious?”
Subaru: “You're saying this about Roswaal, who sat back while his territory was attacked? My impression is that if Roswaal and SLOTH fought face-to-face, Roswaal'd win about eighty, ninety percent of the time. I don't think SLOTH really does things face-to-face though, but... even so, he could at least do recon.”
Roswaal can fly, so recon on his attacked territory should be easy for him. And if he did recon, he should've been able to tell that the Witch Cult in the area'd been repelled and things were safe. That he hasn't done so means—
Subaru: “He's playing it safe, or...”
Emilia: “Something happened at SANCTUARY?”
Subaru and Emilia nod to each other. They'll have to figure out what's the status of SANCTUARY before they can understand what the circumstances are.
Their concerns go on to be concerns for the villagers. About 60% of the population went with Ram's group, with the remaining 40% in Emilia's group being the children, their parents, and members of the village's young men brigade. With only these people, the village's faculties will lower considerably. The future is not looking good for them.
Subaru: “Either way, we have to do something. ...Let's go back to the mansion for now. I want to get Rem settled in. Otto, I bet you don't have anywhere to say so come to the mansion too.”
Otto: “Wuahgeuh!? I-Intruding on the Margrave's mansion!? If you're going to place me in such an outrageous position, it would be easier that I stay overnight in the carriage!”
Subaru: “Shut up, you're involved. We're already in the same boat. I'll be working you 'till you're practically dead.”
Subaru, Otto, and Emilia have Patrasche pull them onward towards the mansion, parting with the villagers. The distance is 15 minutes by foot, but 5 by carriage before reaching the familiar Roswaal mansion. Subaru didn't have any leeway to give the place a good look around last time, and seeing the mansion again is pretty emotional.
Subaru: “Doesn't look like anything's changed, though. ...Doesn't feel like Ram's come back.”
Emilia: “But, if nothing's changed inside, Beatrice should be there. I hope she knows where SANCTUARY is.”
Subaru: “Oh, right, crap. Neither of us know where SANCTUARY is. See if there's some way for us to check if Roz-chi's safe, too.”
Subaru: “Ugh. Anyway, for now all we can do is pray Beako knows something.”
Otto: “Did you just say 'ugh' while looking at me?”
Subaru: “Ugh. You're being too self-conscious. No one cares about you as much as you think.” Otto: “That's a terrible thing to say!” Ignoring a snubbed Otto, Subaru leaves the carriage in the front garden and heads for the mansion's entrance. First he'd call Beatrice, then look around the mansion, then get Rem's bedroom secured, then plan what to do next.
Subaru: “I'm back, Roswaal mansion. Now, how would my nostalgic old home be...” Subaru pushes the door open and peers inside, falling stock silent. Because the inside of the mansion is not what he predicted.
Carpets blanket the floor of the entry hall. The expensive-looking vases aside the large ascending staircase are adorned with flowers. The crystalights overhead cloak the environment in their glow, deemable as parallel world chandeliers. This was the entrance hall as he remembered it, but it completely defies his expectations. Because compared to what he envisioned, it's—
Subaru: “It's not disturbed... it's all orderly!?”
The carpets don't have a single wrinkle, the flowerpots beside the staircase are shining, the chandeliers have been adeptly maintained, compounding the intrinsic beauty of the crystalights. The unsettling scene dumbfounds Subaru. All his reactions are thus slow. ???: “—Who's—!?” Hearing this quiet, faint sound and yet guided by his confusion, Subaru looks towards its source.
But by the time his consciousness catches up with the silhouette being there, it's already too late. The shadow has already rounded behind him.
With the figure towering in from behind, Subaru sees it. Rising clearly from amidst the silhouette, she sees a maw of monstrous fangs. The next instant, Subaru's world goes black.
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