CHAPTER 66: CRIMSON SNOWSCAPE
—Seeing him exit the tomb alone, Garfiel's antagonism escalates to most pierce Subaru's skin.
Inside and outside the tomb suffer an incredible difference in cold. Compared to the residual warmth still somewhat present inside, the frigidity of the open SANCTUARY quietly chips away the stamina and body heat of anything standing in it. Unending blizzard, and blinding curtain of white. The white puffs of Subaru's breath could almost freeze, the shivers welling up from his core unassailable.
Subaru hugs his shoulders, shivering. Garfiel glares at him. He clicks his bared fangs, focusing his attention on the scene behind Subaru.
Garfiel: “Ain't lookin' like she's gonna be showin' up from 'hind yer back, oi.”
Subaru: “No, she's not. Emilia's inside, sleeping right now.”
Garfiel: “Sleepin', huh?”
Subaru: “She's exhausted. For two days, she's been waking up then doing TRIAL. Waking up then doing TRIAL then waking up then doing TRIAL on repeat, it looks. Her body and mind are spent. And she hasn't been eating. She's pushing herself too far.”
Considering the feelings of an Emilia who unwaveringly made repeated challenges of the TRIAL, but regardless failed to conquer it, Subaru can imagine her frustration and disappointment in herself. Since unmistakably, it would feel equivalent to the powerlessness Subaru himself had confronted on many occasions.
Subaru: “—”
Deep in the tomb, Emilia sleeps in the TRIAL room with her expression blissful. Recalling her body's heat in her long embrace as she whispered to him her blind amour, Subaru is stricken with a love strong enough for his blood to flare, and a regret strong enough for him to wish to die.
Emilia's voice trembling in passion, cheeks red, as she spoke every word Subaru desired to hear— the entirety of her emotions that she tempted to drown him in—both happenings he now could remember. And how had Subaru thought—well say suppose he drown in that tender depravity, and sink there together with Emilia? Nobody could know.
Subaru denied the temptations of Emilia, who could entice even gods, and exited the tomb. He had no intentions of telling Emilia about the circumstances outside. He also had no intentions of allowing her within range of Garfiel's hostility.
In contrast to Subaru's quiet determination, Garfiel's blazing rage shows no sign of snuffing out. He kicks at the snow underfoot, his white fangs clicking and clicking.
Garfiel: “Yer ain't pulled out th'half-witch. Snow ain't lookin' t'be stoppin'. Y'come back with no souvenirs and a face sayin' yer thwarted. Just what're y'plannin' t'give up t'settle this mess?” Subaru: “—So well Emilia, she said she likes me.” Garfiel: “...” Garfiel: “...” Garfiel: “...”
Garfiel: “...Huh?” Most likely, Subaru's statement is incredibly out of place here. For an instant Garfiel's expression changes, as if he doesn't comprehend what he has just heard. But he immediately judges that Subaru is making a fool of him.
Garfiel: “Seems ain't just th'half-witch who ain't seein' what th'situation is, you ain't seein' it either!
Th'fuck're you fuckin' able t'say th't fucking bullshit n' all this, oi! Oi! OI! AHH!?” Garfiel's rage seethes hot, the snow contacting his body evaporating to white mist. That his body appears to swell in size is no illusion, but occurs because he allows himself to start shifting from human to tiger.
Subaru's expression stays completely unshaken. It remains identical to when he made his statement, his eyes still dry as he looks at Garfiel. Subaru repeats it.
Subaru: “Emilia, said that she likes me, that all she would ever need is me.” Garfiel: “—Y'fuckin'...” Subaru: “With a cutesy face, needy voice, tingly gestures, close enough I could melt, us touching each other within breathing range... she said that, to me.” Garfiel: “So fucking what! That th'half-witch's glued stuck t'yer 's somethin' y'shoulda goddamn figured out when y'got here! 'F yer sayin' yer want congratulations fer yer two's gettin' on th'same page, my amazin' self's fang's'll explain it well n' clea—” Roars start joining Garfiel's curses, his animosity urging along the changes in his flesh and near ready to pounce, his words piercing Subaru. —This was the limit. Subaru: “...As, fucking if.” Garfiel: “Eh? Can't hear ya, try speakin' cle...” Subaru: “—As fucking if Emilia would say she likes me!!”
Garfiel: “—hk”
Subaru screams. The torrent of emotion is enough to shut even Garfiel's mouth. Subaru glares at the flinching Garfiel, expression agonised as he allows his heart to erupt.
He takes the words they shared in the tomb, their heat, their definite love, and dumps it all. It's painful. Of course it's painful. But those things, hard as they were to abandon, truly radiate with no brilliance for him. How nice it would've been if he were foolish enough for that fake gleam to possibly deceive him. That Natsuki Subaru was incapable of being that much of a fool was his misfortune.
Subaru: “Like she would fucking say that. Emilia telling me she likes me... letting me spoil her, leaving everything to me, if I'm around she needs nothing else... never.”
Garfiel: “F-fuck're you goin' on about, oi.”
Subaru: “She'd never be that kind of dependant on me, never tell me her feelings for me are her everything, ever. —If Puck were here, she would never be engrossed in me like that.”
Subaru didn't know on just what magnitude he longed to be Emilia's number one. But Subaru lacked the self-worth, and thought not low enough of Emilia, to conceitedly claim that he was presently in that position. The person Emilia put her greatest reliance in, who she clung onto until the very very end, was Puck.
Puck was not appearing before her now, and so she had chosen Subaru as her secondary target for her dependence. It was nothing more than that. Subaru would prefer not to believe that her love confession, fevered fingers, shaky breaths had all been lies. Would prefer not to believe it, but—legitimate, they were not.
Raising his head, Subaru glares at Garfiel. This time, it's Subaru who bares teeth.
Subaru: “Who cornered her so hard that she has to cling to a hopeless loser like me? Where her heart's been broken so many times over and over... but she still thinks she has to keep going, who!?”
Garfiel: “Oh but ain't this something needing doing! Oh but ain't this something chosen 'cuzza you! Y'saying this's my... n' that this's th'fault of the others in SANCTUARY, huh!?”
Subaru slowly shakes his head.
The person who corned Emilia was who? No need asking. Subaru knew.
Subaru: “There's no question whose fault it was. ...It's my fault.”
Garfiel: “—Hha!?”
Subaru: “It's my fault. That Emilia was that driven into a corner is unmistakably my fault. My fault, your fault, all your faults.” Garfiel: “...Stop yer bull. If sh'strains under th'load 'n gets crushed, then ain't that just her calibre!
With a heart prepared that weak 's was pretty fuckin' impressive what a high goalpost sh'put up,
'course she's gonna wind up gettin' a joke made of her!” Subaru: “Yeah. You're exactly right. Emilia's too gentle to deal with heavy pressure straight-on. And so since she had nobody she could be open about her burden with, it crushed her. —Even though really, that's what I needed to be doing.”
As if become one with the white snowscape, Subaru can tell his heart is growing cold.
What it is he has to do feels to have been clearly stipulated. Subaru: “Right. That was something I need to do. I'm here, for that. ...I'm the one who said those words to you, and what on earth was I doing...”
Garfiel: “Fuck're you just 'greein' t'yerself about, oi. ...No, nevermind. Just never, mind. Sittin' here chattin' along to yer bullshit ain't gonna lead t'nothin'. UNQUENCHABLE IS THE THIRST OF MORDOBA. 'F yer can't do it, then...”
Subaru: “You'll go in the tomb and bring Emilia out... will you? Are you actually able to?” Garfiel: “...What're you gettin' at.” Threatens Garfiel, voice low. Though he says these words with intention to overwhelm Subaru, they conversely prompt him to voice his baseless conjecture.
Subaru: “Garfiel, I already know you're an APOSTLE OF GREED. Since that's the only status which gives privilege to hold the Lewes-san doubles' command right.” Garfiel falls silent. Subaru: “So inevitably I know that you, an APOSTLE OF GREED, have entered the tomb before.
...No, maybe saying 'have taken the TRIAL before's more correct.” Garfiel: “—You, fuck.” Subaru: “You've challenged it, the TRIAL. Dunno why you're being so stubborn about hiding it though. Maybe 'cause of the arrangement where SANCTUARY residents can't enter the tomb, but if not... then for Lewes-san who went inside the tomb to save you.”
Garfiel: “—hk” Garfiel's complexion shifts. Yes, family is indeed a sensitive spot for him. Seeing the despair in Garfiel's expression, Subaru continues crafting his conjectures simultaneously as he voices them.
Subaru: “Frederica told me you'd entered the tomb before. I know Lewes-san's been inside, too.” Garfiel: “Th, at... snitch! Just leavin' th'place was't enough for her, she's toadyin' t'outsiders again!” Subaru: “What, there someone out there where it'd be bad for that to get out? And besides, who're the people of SANCTUARY contracted with anyway? The one who made SANCTUARY was the Witch Echidna. So, the people of SANCTUARY're upholding a contract with the deceased?”
Garfiel: “I ain't allowin'—” You to say anything more, is how Garfiel kicks off the ground, becoming wind as he flies at Subaru. At short-range those sharp, steel-rending claws aim for Subaru's face and—
Subaru: “—The one causing this snow is Roswaal.” Garfiel: “—” Hitting the core of the matter, Garfiel's claws stop narrowly before they can reach Subaru's face.
Stupefaction rises on Garifel's expression. Subaru nods.
Subaru: “It's not Emilia. Puck's not here, Emilia can't do this. Million in one chance, even saying Emilia was the agent for this, it's impossible she'd talk to me without bringing it up.” Garfiel: “Th, at's... another're, one're your convenient imagination...” Subaru: “You're right, all I'm doing is believing. Even if she explodes under despair, she's not a girl who'd throw a tantrum messing up everything around her... that's what I believe in.” Process of elimination. But that said, it's certainly not groundless. Subaru: “The one binding you all to SANCTUARY's also probably Roswaal.” Garfiel: “Did Frederica tell you that one, too?” Subaru: “No way. ...It's me putting together information and circumstantial evidence, and then having enough preconceptions and enough of a bad impression that I don't mind making false charges. —Looks like I was right, though.”
Garfiel: “—” Subaru sighs. —This was the exhaustion brought about by person he had thought the mastermind actually being the mastermind. It's obvious that Roswaal has some plotting going on, but what's the purpose of preserving the contract which imprisons the residents of SANCTUARY, and then making them suffer in the snow? Subaru thinks and thinks, but can't find any real answer.
Subaru: “Gotta go directly have his face eat a good whack.”
Mutters Subaru with determination. Garfiel lowers his arm. Subaru can tell that, just like him, Garfiel's expression is cacophonous with emotion.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Roswaal: “—Why now, yooooou certainly doooooo look mad.”
Says Roswaal to the visiting Subaru and Garfiel from atop his bed. He smiles cheerfully in his clown makeup.
Subaru: “Yeah. Right now, I'm pissed. And nevermind me, you can tell that he's ready to go flying at you any moment now? Be a little careful in what you say.”
Announces Subaru as he stands with arms spread, blocking the doorway. He jerks his chin at Garfiel, who is emitting a low growl. The bestial cadence to his breathing proves that he's using the last of rationality to keep human form. And although indoors, the low temperature still creeps in through the stonework of the building. Both Subaru and Roswaal are breathing white, Garfiel's alone bathed with enough heat that each exhale could nearly be red.
Roswaal: “An iiiiiiinteresting assemblage. Although, my belief was that you had blustered to rend Subaru-kun apart froooooom top to bottom upon his return, Garfiel?”
Garfiel: “Situation might'a changed 'n inch. I don't confirm 'f I really got it wrong, and I don't know who's okay t'turn t'flesh paste.”
Subaru: “Stop having this horrifying conversation so naturally. And you too Roswaal, don't accept that kind of ridiculous statement like it's normal.”
Subaru's exchange with Garfiel when he departed SANCTUARY for the mansion left him with some horrendous self-loathing as well. Garfiel had more than likely not forgotten that shame, and imagining him slinging curses at Roswaal and Emilia was not exactly difficult.
Roswaal shakes his head.
Roswaal: “Nooo, nooo.”
He closes one eye, gazing at Subaru and Garfiel only with the yellow.
Roswaal: “This is how it is when that is how it is, yooooou see, Subaru-kun?”
Subaru: “Well now aren't I hated. This's making me sad, Roz-chi. Garfiel could gobble me to bits and you wouldn't think a thing.”
Roswaal: “Myyyyyy my, now there was some faintheartedness. Were you and Garfiel to combat, it iiiiiiiisn't a definite that Garfiel wooooould be the victor, yes?”
Subaru: “You think I can win? You hear my battle record, and yes even you'll be trembling in your boots.”
Subaru's been constantly getting new injuries since being summoned to this parallel world, but his experience in prevailing solo in a FIGHT is practically none. Beating the three stooges, barely managing to fell an ulgarm, and getting the killing blow on a dying Betelgeux would be about it.
Subaru: “Actually that's more successes than I thought, but if I'm up against fit feisty Garfiel I'm a meat wad in two seconds. I can at least do that much self-analysis.”
Roswaal: “I wonder. My belief is it would be a surprisingly good struggle, shoooooould the requirements be arranged.”
Says Roswaal, eyes narrowed as he gazes Subaru from top to bottom. Subaru attempts reflecting on those words, but unfortunately finds nowhere he can agree with them. He discards Roswaal's statement with shrug, Garfiel near simultaneously stomping the floor broken.
Garfiel: “Nunna that crap matters right now! The shit we need t'be talkin' 'bout is somethin' goddamn else! Are you two asleep?”
Swears Garfiel at Subaru and Roswaal, teeth bared as his heel forms a crater in the floor. Doesn't seem impulsive Garfiel is fond of bantering to control the conversation before entering the main topic. This is however an unfamiliar and moreso unfitting art for Subaru so called finesse. Subaru nods, following with Garfiel's stance.
Subaru: “You're who's making it snow outside, Roswaal.”
Roswaal: “—”
Subaru waits quietly for Roswaal's answer. Silence falls upon the room, the only echoes being the howl of the freezing wind outside the window, and the steady clockwork rhythm of Garfiel's clicking fangs.
Roswaal: “Subaru-kun.”
Subaru: “Yeah.”
Roswaal: “—Did you hear about this from me?”
Subaru: “—”
And the response is a nonsense question. Subaru had run multiple simulations of what answer Roswaal might have offered. A bold laugh and a “Well deduced!”. A pattern showing his unease, “W-what kind of idiotic... proof, show me your proof!”. And what was the most likely contender, “I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you're taaaaaalking about,” a dodge.
Roswaal's response is none of these.
Subaru: “Like damn whatever, we're talking to you right now about it so how are we having this conversation. That some slip of the tongue or.”
Roswaal: “Hhr, hrm.... Well then. Well then. Weeeeeelll then. ...Unfortunate.”
Says Roswaal, eyes downcast as he gives a weak sigh. His face is always pale, but somehow now looks even more devoid of strength. Subaru perceives this as unrelated to his wounded physical condition, but resultant from the state of his heart.
Roswaal: “—Yoooooou're correct. A slip of the tongue, that was a slip of the tongue. What I said was ludicrous.”
When Roswaal brings his gaze back up, he immediately retracts his previous statement and gives a thin smile. His red-painted lips are grinning, but Subaru views it as being different from usual. However, paying no heed to whatever trifling changes in Roswaal, Garfiel steps forward.
Garfiel: “Not fuckin' denyin' it, oi?.”
Roswaal: “You don't think that, being subject to suspicion, any words I could string together would ring unconvincing and false? I'm furthermore cooooooonfident that my usual statements and behaviour, even in the best of circumstances, have not gained me the trust of either oooooooof you.”
Garfiel: “So yer goddamn know it. Then yer should be able t'tfigure my amazin' self 's gonna move next... yeah!?”
Spitting a sharp breath, Garfiel's body turns the distance between himself and Roswaal from 'several steps' to 'zero'. He reaches out his arm to grab Roswaal's throat—with the split-second movement, Subaru's reaction time cannot call out to stop him. When—
Garfiel: “—You.”
???: “I will pardon no discourtesies to Roswaal-sama, Garf.”
—Ram flies in from the room adjacent, catching both Garfiel's arm and body in check. His right arm gripped firm before his chest, Garfiel glares at the Ram in front of him. Her sudden appearance surprises Subaru, who had not even realised she'd been in the house, but her actions have allowed them to avoid any instantaneous bloodshed. He sighs in relief. Which is why—
Roswaal: “Ram. Truly, an excellent servant you are.”
Ram: “Yes, Roswaal-sama.”
—Subaru finds nothing strange about their exchange. Ram had put herself at risk to protect her master, and Roswaal was praising her. There is nothing strange about it. Ram had indeed done her job. What's the problem here. Subaru looks up, brow furrowed in thought.
Subaru stands in the bedroom doorway. In front of him is Garfiel's back, with Ram's small frame opposite. Behind the two is the bed, where Roswaal is to be lying for his recuperation. —Since when has Roswaal been standing up?
Subaru: “—”
It had happened instantaneously, Subaru figures. In the space of a blink, Roswaal had gotten up from the bed, and walked over to the live-coals situation with Ram and Garfiel. Where he,
Subaru: “—”
What was happening here. It's almost like there's something, which looks sort of like an arm, sticking out from Garfiel's back. That thing, piercing through his chest and out his back, with its five squirming fingers, Subaru considers as being somebody's right arm.
Garfiel: “Ghbn, bg...”
Garfiel's body shudders violently. Scarlet starts to ooze into his jacket, and his knees verge on failure. Unable to support him, Garfiel falls to his knees as the arm disappears from his back. Immediately, having lost its plug, the hole overflows with great volumes of blood.
Garfiel: “—Hh?”
Garfiel hunched on the floor. Looking down at him are Ram and Roswaal. And sticking out from Ram's chest is—
Ram: “Rauhz...”
Roswaal: “Truly, an excellent servant you were.”
Ram attempts with frail voice to call his name, when Roswaal gently interrupts. His left hand tenderly strokes Ram's pink hair. Ram, cheeks dyed red and expression intoxicated, accepts it. —From the corners of her smile leak belated trails of fresh blood.
Well of course.
She's been skewered through the chest from behind.
The arm exits her. Ram's small body fails to withstand the light shock, collapsing forwards. What catches her, likewise cascading incredible quantities of blood, is Garfiel. He holds the collapsed Ram in his arms, hoisting her upright.
Garfiel: “Ghh... Ros... Ra, hm... Ram, Ram, Ram, Ramramramramram!”
The instant of hatred dominating his heart is drowned to nothing by the sight of his love. Garfiel screams again and again the name of the girl in his arms, roaring up blood as his hands start emitting pale-blue light. Subaru knows that vivid gleam is what brings the effects of healing magic. While not his speciality, Garfiel is someone capable of administering it.
Garfiel was presently, with a fatal wound gaping through his torso, pouring his everything into healing Ram. Matching in rhythm to the beat of his heart, Garfiel's body starts to morph. Fur blankets his exposed skin, his fangs begin to grow, his pupils instantly slit. His body mass compounds massively, tearing through his clothes. He's transforming into a simpleminded tiger. His bestial instinct to protect his wounded body is struggling viciously with his rational human desire to keep his beloved alive. However,
Garfiel: “—”
Roswaal: “Your transforming would truly be a nuisance.”
Says Roswaal with a light tilt of the head, swinging his leg with his target as Garfiel. That long leg becomes wind, flashing to slam exactly into Garfiel's head—there comes the cracking noise of an eggshell, and like a joke Garfiel's head bursts off in crimson.
Garfiel's body, absent the neck up. Blood spurts from his severed nub like a fountain, fouling the room with its stench as his corpse collapses onto Ram. Ram, now pinned, remains with a thin smile on her face as she lies utterly unmoving. Garfiel's healing magic resulted to no effect. The instant that Roswaal withdrew his arm, Ram's demolished heart stopped beating. Garfiel had simply gone without noticing, and strained his entire self for that.
Roswaal: “Eeeeeeeeven I have difficulty utilising other magics when I am casting on the scale of interfering with the weather. —For a court magician, truly a disappointing display.”
Rigorously wiping his bloody leg with a nearby bedsheet, this Roswaal who had just killed Ram and Garfiel both unarmed now looks at the perfectly immobile Subaru. In a tone and bearing completely unchanged from usual, he speaks.
Roswaal: “Now—let us talk. Natsuki Subaru-kun.”
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