Seishun Buta Yarou Series - Volume 5 - Chapter 1

To: Sakuta 

Can we meet at the beach at Shichirigahama tomorrow? 

Shouko 

Chapter 1 – The Rest of That Day is Today

1 

Sakuta Azusagawa had been worried all morning. 

The reason for this was a letter that had arrived in his mailbox the day before. 

The letter was from “Shouko.” 

For a long time, that name had brought back painful memories. But lately, it had taken on other meanings. 

Now, when he heard the name, two people came to mind. Or rather—the original had been joined by a second. 

This new Shouko Makinohara was a first-year junior high school student he’d met about three months ago. She was a sweet-natured, earnest, adorable little girl. 

The other was a high school girl who existed only in his memories. He’d met that Shouko Makinohara when he was in his third year of junior high. Two years had passed since they last spoke on the beach at Shichirigahama, and he’d been unable to locate her again. If she had continued with her education as expected, she’d be a college freshman now. 

Something about the tone of this letter sounded more like the latter, older Shouko. 

He’d called the younger one’s cell phone the day before, just to be sure, but it had gone to her voice mail. Rather than ask about the letter there, he’d left a message saying he’d call back and hung up. There was still no word from her, so the letter remained a mystery. And his mind was still going in circles. 

The best way to clear this all up was to follow the instructions. Go to the beach at Shichirigahama and see which Shouko was there. Talking to Shouko directly would at least get him somewhere. 

He’d reached that conclusion the night before. 

The problem was what came next. 

If the letter was from the Shouko he’d met two years ago, that meant it was from his first love. 

Should he really just show up to meet her? 

After all, he was dating someone else now. 

He felt like he should talk to his girlfriend first, but maybe it wouldn’t make a difference. 

No matter how he framed it, he was in a relationship and would be going to see his first love again. 

He sighed, unable to find a way out of this thought loop. 

“Ow!” 

A sharp pain shot through his foot. He looked down. A leg clad in black tights was extended in his direction, perfectly positioned to drive the heel of a shoe into his foot. 

A slim, beautiful leg. He drank in the sight of it a moment before following it upward to the lovely face of the girl it belonged to. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, smiling at him. 

Mai was leaning against the doors of the train. Mai Sakurajima. She was a year older than Sakuta, a third-year student. An actress famous nationwide, she was also his girlfriend. 

She was unusually tall, with jet-black hair that had never once been dyed. Intelligent eyes. Everything about her was mature, lending her a composure beyond her years. 

Her standing here in the doorway, with a view of the sea visible through the windows behind her—that alone was a work of art. 

She had the kind of beauty other girls aspired to. The news last night had reported the results of a poll on “Who high school girls most want to look like,” and Mai had won by a landslide. 

Why was someone that popular stepping on his foot with a pleasant smile? 

“Mai, what am I being punished for?” 

“You’re with me but acting all out of it.” 

“That’s just how I seem most of the time.” 

“Then what was I talking about?” 

She seemed pretty sure he wouldn’t know. 

“Uh…we’re on a Type 10 train today?” 

There were several kinds of trains running on the Enoden line between Fujisawa Station and Kamakura Station. The Type 10 was a distinctively old-fashioned, fancy-looking car, kinda like the Orient Express. It had an iconic dark-blue base with a white stripe running around the windows. The interiors featured striking woodwork, giving it a touch of class and elegance. 

“Nobody was talking about trains.” 

Her tone didn’t change, but her gaze turned frosty. 

“Uh, then…” 

“Joking isn’t gonna let you wriggle out of this one,” she said, rounding on him. 

“Sorry,” he said, unsure what other options he had left. 

“Sigh…” 

His ears stung. She gave him a look that was half pity, half aggravation. 

“I was thanking you for yesterday.” 

“Yesterday?” 

“For helping Nodoka move in.” 

“Oh.” 

“And to return the favor, I said I’d come over to make dinner tonight.” 

As she said this, her eyes shifted downward. A tinge of embarrassment. Her lips twisted slightly, as if annoyed he’d forced her to say it twice. 

“Toyohama doesn’t need to eat?” 

Nodoka Toyohama was Mai’s sister from a different mother. After a long and complicated series of events, they’d decided to live together. 

“She’ll be back late from her lessons, so she’ll be eating with the rest of her group.” 

“Ah.” 

Nodoka was part of a relatively new idol group, Sweet Bullet. They had song and dance lessons every day and traveled a lot on weekends, doing short concerts. Nodoka was nowhere near as famous as Mai, but when he’d teased her about that, she’d sworn to become so famous he would have to eat his words. Sakuta was looking forward to it. 

“You’re acting weird today,” Mai said, watching his expression closely. 

“Oh? How so?” 

“I’m gonna cook for you, but you don’t even crack a smile? I expected more.” 

She sounded disgruntled. 

“No, I’m happy. It’s just…we’re on the train.” 

There were people watching. Now that Mai was back to work, she attracted a lot of attention. Even on their regular morning commute to school. 

“Hmph. Fine, I’ll let you have this one.” 

But she didn’t take her eyes off him. Clearly not the least bit convinced. But she wiped the look of discontent off her face and asked, “What’s in your fridge?” 

“Haven’t gone shopping yet, so it’s nearly empty.” 

“Then we’ll have to hit a store on the way home.” 

“Uh…I hate to admit this now, but I’ve got plans after school…” 

“I thought you didn’t have a shift today, though.” 

“It’s not work related.” 

It was the letter. 

The invitation hadn’t specified a time, but since it was a weekday…right after school seemed the logical choice. He didn’t think anyone would expect him to show up at five AM, and he couldn’t exactly walk around the beach while school was in session. That was true for “Shouko” as well. 

“Then what?” Mai asked. 

“Just a thing.” 

“A thing?” 

“Not important.” 

“Riiight.” 

She backed off but kept her eyes glued to him. 

It would be weirder if she’d bought that one. He hadn’t exactly found a convincing excuse. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” 

“I’m not trying to be secretive, just…” 

He meant what he said. He didn’t want to keep the letter from her. He’d already told Mai about the Shouko from two years ago and his feelings for her, and how he’d only taken the exam and attended Minegahara High to see her again. She knew all of this. So there was nothing left to hide. 

But when she’d asked him about it point-blank, Sakuta had tensed up. For some reason, he wasn’t sure he should share this with her. 

There was too much he didn’t understand about the letter, and telling her about it now would just leave her with confusing information. He felt like it was better to say nothing. 

But as he thought about that, their train reached the station. 

Shichirigahama Station. The one closest to Minegahara High. 

Rows of uniform-clad students filed out onto the tiny platform. Each one ran their IC commuter pass through the simple, scarecrow-like gate as they exited. 

Sakuta and Mai joined the flow of bodies and headed to the street outside. 

The train had reached the station at exactly the right time to stop Mai from asking any follow-up questions. 

They crossed a bridge and then a set of tracks. 

And their school gates were right in front of them. 

It felt like he’d safely gotten away. 

He allowed himself to feel relieved. 

The moment he did, Mai spoke again. 

“I don’t know what you’re hiding, but it’ll all come out in time, so you’d better have thought of a good excuse by then.” 

It was like he was a log, and she was hammering a metal spike into him. 

This must have been what people meant by “struck speechless.” 

“You get it, right?” Mai said, like she was training a puppy. 

“Yeah…,” he said. That was the only option left open to him. 

Sakuta spent his morning classes gazing absently out the window at the beach below. Thinking about what excuse he could give Mai. English, math, physics, and Japanese all ended with the teacher warning them that midterms were right around the corner and they should be ready, but this went in one ear and out the other. 

Classes were the last thing on his mind. He had to come up with a way to tell her about the letter, and how to explain his failure to do so that morning. But ignoring his morning lessons hadn’t gotten him any closer to a convincing reason. 

This was still all he could think of when lunch rolled around. 

Failing to make any headway, he ate quickly and left his classroom. 

His destination was the science lab. 

“Futaba, I’m coming in.” 

“Don’t.” 

Sakuta ignored that, sliding the door open. 

The room’s sole occupant was a girl—his friend Rio Futaba. She was pretty small, only five foot one, and always wore a long white lab coat. Her hair was done up in the back, and she shot him a brief, annoyed look through her glasses. 

Futaba was at the lab table by the blackboard. In front of her was a lit alcohol lamp, but instead of the usual beaker or test tube, she had a coffee siphon on it. 

“What’s with that?” Sakuta asked, pointing at the siphon. He took a seat across the table from her. 

“I think the physics teacher brought it in.” 

“And you’re using it without permission? You shock me sometimes.” 

“Having an accomplice eases my guilty conscience.” 

Was she roping him into this? He had other business today, so he let it pass without comment. Rio wasn’t exactly trying to start a debate or anything, either. She’d most likely just meant it as an offhand comment. 

“So, uh, Futaba…” 

The boiling water in the siphon’s lower section was rising into the vessel above via the principle of vapor pressure. He’d marveled at it the first time he saw it happen, and it was still fun to watch. As the water hit the ground coffee, a dark brown seeped into it. 

“How many times does this make, Azusagawa?” 

The look she gave him was beyond irritation or frustration. It was more like pity. 

“This isn’t about Adolescence Syndrome. Honest.” 

Rio looked surprised. Like she’d received the shock of her life. 

“Though it might turn out to be related later…” 

There was definitely a strong chance Adolescence Syndrome was behind the Shouko mystery. It certainly would explain a lot. 

“Hmm.” 

Showing no more apparent interest, Rio removed the siphon from the alcohol lamp. She put the lid on and turned the flame off. After a minute, the coffee passed back through the filter into the round vessel below. 

She poured half the coffee into her own mug and then the other half into a nearby beaker, which she placed in front of Sakuta. 

He shot her a glance to confirm the beaker was safe. It was hard to not be at least slightly concerned it might’ve taken part in some weird experiment. 

“I’ve only used it for a concentrated sodium chloride fusion experiment, so it should be fine.” 

“That is a terrifying combination of words.” 

“You know what sodium chloride is?” 

“Salt, right?” 

“Yep.” 

“Then say that.” 

“I boiled the beaker to sterilize it after. Don’t worry.” 

When he was sure it was safe, he took a sip. Flavor and scent were both a significant step up from the instant stuff. It was much more coffee-like. It improved the entire science lab experience. 

“So what’s the matter, specifically?” 

“I wanna ask you about this,” Sakuta said. He took the letter out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. 

Seeing is believing. 

“What is it?” 

“A letter from ‘Shouko.’” 

“You’re walking around with a letter from a girl in your pocket? That’s just creepy.” 

With that brutal evaluation, she opened the envelope. Her eyes moved left to right, quickly reading it. 

“Ah. That explains the scare quotes. This definitely doesn’t read like something a junior high school girl would write. She would’ve addressed you more politely, too.” 

Rio had met the younger Shouko. Last summer, at Sakuta’s house. 

“And this ‘tomorrow’ is today?” 

“I think so. I found it in my mailbox yesterday.” 

Rio carefully placed it back in the envelope and returned it to him. 

“You told Sakurajima about it?” 

That was the first thing she homed in on. Not anything about Shouko. 

“No…” 

“So you’re asking me to help you cheat on her,” Rio said flatly as she took a sip of coffee. 

“I’m not. Stop getting weird ideas.” 

“Then why keep it from her?” she asked pointedly. 

“What’s the best way to tell her?” He pretended he hadn’t heard her. 

“You should have gone right to her yesterday, the moment you found the letter. If you’d consulted her while still visibly rattled, then you could’ve shared the problem.” 

That was a logical, exemplary answer. Very Rio-like. 

She was right, of course. He couldn’t argue with it at all. But unfortunately, that opportunity was long gone. It was already the next day. And he’d been super evasive about it on the train that morning, so Mai was well aware something was up. 

“Futaba.” 

“What?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me that yesterday?” 

“You didn’t ask.” 

“I know.” 

“But it isn’t like you to sweat this sort of thing.” 

“Really?” 

“You usually just act like her being mad is a reward and tell her outright.” 

“What do you think I am?” 

“A rascal who gets off on being insulted.” 

“……” 

He shouldn’t have asked. 

“It kinda…just didn’t feel fair.” 

“Fair?” Rio looked baffled. He’d lost her. 

“If it was the other way around and Mai suddenly said, ‘I’m going to see my first love today,’ I know for a fact I wouldn’t feel comfortable.” 

“You’re confident about the weirdest things.” 

“But I wouldn’t be able to tell her not to, and I wouldn’t want to, so I’d just stew about it in private.” 

“So telling her would mean you’d get to feel better because you aren’t keeping any secrets, but hearing all of this would force Sakurajima to bottle up her own feelings, and you don’t want to do that to her.” 

“Basically.” 

“If this were a secret you could take to your grave, then maybe it would be better not to bother her with it. But…” 

Rio trailed off into a meaningful look. 

“But what?” 

“Sakurajima doesn’t think like that. She would want to be a character in this story. Or are you forgetting how she told everyone you were dating with the cameras rolling?” 

That had happened recently. The first juicy gossip Mai Sakurajima had ever been involved with. Several people had taken pictures of Mai and Sakuta together and spread them online, at which point they’d been picked up by the weekly magazines—and then the whole country knew. 

But Mai herself had silenced the uproar. The media had flocked to a press conference announcing production on a new movie, and she’d politely handled question after question, blushing as she told them about their relationship. 

“That was the only way to handle it.” 

Nobody knew the truth—those photos had all been taken when Mai and Nodoka were in each other’s bodies, thanks to a bout of Adolescence Syndrome. All the photos were of Nodoka, not Mai. Mai had dealt with the situation to keep Nodoka from feeling guilty. 

“All the same, if there’s a problem, she’s the type of person who’ll want to face it head-on.” 

“True.” 

Growing up in show business had been a harsh teacher, and it had made Mai strong. 

“Especially if you’re involved, Azusagawa.” 

“Apparently, she loves me more than I think.” 

“I wouldn’t know…” 

Rio sounded like she’d lost interest. The reason for that was in her hands. She was playing with her phone. 

“What are you doing?” 

Searching something online? 

It wasn’t often Rio messed with her phone during a conversation. 

“I decided it would be faster to report all this directly to Sakurajima.” 

“Huh?” 

He felt like he’d just received very bad news, but surely he was hearing things. 

“She’s on her way.” 

“What? Wait!” 

Apparently, she was being serious. 

“She gave me her number over the summer. While I was staying at your place…she said to text her if anything came up.” 

“First I’ve heard of it!” 

Sakuta gave her a look of dismay, every inch of him radiating protest. 

“Futaba!” he wailed, but that was all he got out before he heard footsteps in the hall. 

They were instantly recognizable. Unhurried, elegant. He’d know them anywhere. 

Sakuta spun around to face the door. 

It slid open a second later. 

Mai stood on the threshold. 

“Enjoy,” Rio said and rose to leave. 

“Traitor!” Sakuta yelled. Rio didn’t even flinch. 

“Thank you, Futaba.” 

“Not at all.” 

Rio bobbed her head as they passed each other in the doorway, and then she left without looking back. 

He heard her walk off down the hall. When they were out of earshot, Mai stepped inside, closing the door firmly behind her. 

“……” 

“……” 

Their eyes had been locked on each other since Mai’s arrival. Sakuta felt like breaking eye contact would just make her mad. 

“Sakuta.” 

“Yes, what is it?” 

It was just the two of them. But the science lab was crackling with tension. 

“Will you be back by six?” 

He’d assumed she would yell at him, but her tone was downright gentle. 

“Huh?” He blinked at her, not sure what she meant. 

“I told you this morning I’m coming over to cook.” 

“Oh, right. Yeah, I think I can make it.” 

He didn’t know why “Shouko” had sent him the letter, but if Mai was saying he had to be back by six, Sakuta would do whatever was necessary to make that happen. 

But he didn’t get what she was thinking. What did this mean? 

“Then I’ll be over around that time.” 

“Okay.” 

“……” 

“……” 

He waited a bit, but Mai said nothing else. Like that was all she wanted to say. 

“Uh, Mai…is that it?” 

“You want me to be jealous?” 

“Well, maybe a little. Mostly…are we good?” 

He picked his words carefully, watching her expression. 

Mai continued smiling as she stepped closer to him. 

“Of course not,” she said and twisted his cheek. 

“Ow…” 

“My boyfriend’s going to meet his old flame? And that’s more important than my invitation? What could possibly be good about that?” 

“Right, sorry. Not good at owww.” 

“So you don’t deny she’s an old flame.” 

“No, no, I explained our relationship. It never got that far.” 

“I know,” she said, rolling her eyes. Her hand was still firmly twisting his cheek. “And that’s why I tried to let you go see her without another word. But you just haaad to ask.” 

“It was tactless of me, I admit.” 

“And…oh, what’s the right word? I’m…curious what her deal is, too. And what connection the two Shoukos have.” 

“Makes sense.” 

Sakuta had spent a lot of time on that himself. Ever since he met the younger Shouko, really. He was sure they were the same person, but that was also ostensibly impossible. 

If he met the Shouko behind this letter, maybe he’d learn something. He hoped he would anyway. 

“So that’s why you’re okay with it.” 

“Also because I can tell you still have feelings for her.” 

She sounded awfully certain about that. 

“Come again?” 

“You have feelings for Shouko.” 

“Noooo. I really don’t.” 

He had taken the Minegahara entrance exam hoping to see her again. It was also true he’d been in love with her. But the bulk of his heart was now filled with Mai. That fact was unassailable. 

“Not, like, those kinds of feelings. But two years ago, when you hit rock bottom, she was the one who helped you.” 

“That’s…true, sure.” 

If he hadn’t met Shouko, his current life probably would’ve been unrecognizable. She’d had that much impact on him. But he’d never thanked her properly for it. By the time he realized how much she’d done for him, he’d already lost contact with her. 

She’d left him with no closure, no time to sort his feelings out, no indication this would be the last time they’d see each other. It had never occurred to him she’d just vanish. He’d been so sure they’d meet again, he’d even said “See you later” as they parted. 

Mai’s fingers finally loosened their grip on Sakuta’s cheek. 

“It’s all red,” she said, gently rubbing it. “I don’t want you to carry this emotional baggage if you don’t have to. You’ve finally got a chance, so I want you to do this right.” 

Sakura felt like she’d loaded a lot of meaning into the word right. But he didn’t stop to go through the list. He didn’t need to do that to understand her feelings. And he was her boyfriend. He wanted to do “right” by those feelings. Failing to do that would just be sad. 

She’d let him off the hook, but he was still utterly defeated. 

She’d approached the issue with real maturity and left him in awe. 

“What do you say?” 

Mai flashed him a confident smile. There was a mischievous edge to it that suggested she knew full well this had made him fall even more in love with her. 

Unwilling to admit defeat, he ignored her question and turned away. 

“Sakuta?” 

Ignoring this, too, he strode to the windows and flung one open. 

Then he took a deep breath. 

“I love you, Maiiiii!” 

His voice echoed across the grounds. 

“Er, Sakuta?!” For once, she actually sounded panicked. 

“I love youuuuuuu! Ow.” 

Someone had slapped the back of his head. 

Pretending like it hurt, he turned around to find Mai glaring at him, half aggravated, half embarrassed. 

“Stop. It’s embarrassing.” 

“I feel like I had to do it this way for you to understand.” 

“It’s obnoxious.” 

“Aww.” 

“Find another way to express yourself.” 

She stuck her lips out, pouting. 

“Er, um…” 

He put his hands on her shoulders and moved his face closer to hers. Her hand shot up between them and pushed his face back. Hard. 

“Owww.” 

A brutal rejection. 

“But why?” 

“You do not get to kiss me when you’re about to go see your old flame.” 

“I thought you just said it was okay.” 

“You can meet her, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” 

When she put it that way, it was kinda obvious, really. Logically and practically, she was allowing him to meet Shouko. But that didn’t mean her emotions fell in line. There was no shortage of things in life that were unpleasant but nonetheless necessary. And this was one of them. 

“So you’d better put in the work to get back on my good side before I let you do anything like that.” 

She made a show of being all grumpy. 

Maybe he should buy her a pudding on the way home. 

That always worked with his sister, Kaede. If he got the good pudding, any bad mood would dissipate in no time. It was like a magic item. 

“And just to be clear, pudding won’t solve this one.” 

Her eyes saw right through him. 

“Er, so…what would?” 

“You need to figure that out yourself. Your homework, due by dinner tonight.” 

“Aww.” 

He tried to grumble like usual, but it came out a bit screechier than usual. Mai looked thoroughly satisfied. 

2 

Sakuta spent the afternoon classes once more not listening to his teachers. Instead, he was working on the homework Mai had assigned him. It involved only one question. 

Q: How to get back on Mai’s good side? 

This was a very thorny problem. Harder than anything on the entrance exams at the nation’s top universities. 

Normally, he could just say how he felt, and that would wear her down. That didn’t seem likely to work this time. Shouting at the school yard hadn’t worked, either. It seemed doubtful that words alone would do the trick. 

Should he change tactics and get her some sort of gift? No, that would just make her mad at him. “Don’t try to buy your way out of this” or the like. And he had no idea what kind of present would get him anywhere with her. She was a famous actress. If she wanted something, she could just purchase it herself. 

He was getting nowhere. 

“Uh-oh…” 

Was it just his imagination, or was making him sweat like this already a pretty significant punishment? Had Mai assigned him this homework knowing it’d turn out like this? 

It was certainly effective. He hadn’t thought about anything but her all afternoon. Technically, this morning had been the same—he’d really been thinking about her the whole time. 

And yet the bell rang and classes ended without him arriving at any real answer. 

The final homeroom was quickly over, and it was time to leave. 

Sakuta picked up his bag and left his seat. He headed for the hall, still racking his brain. 

As he stepped through the door, he nearly walked right into someone very tall. 

“Whoops, sorry… Wait, Sakuta?” 

He looked up and saw his friend Yuuma Kunimi. 

“Oh, Kunimi.” 

It was mid-October, but Yuuma still had a tan. He was wearing a tracksuit with Minegahara High Basketball embroidered on it. 

“Practice again?” 

“Like basically every day, yeah.” 

Yuuma worked at the same restaurant as Sakuta, pulling nearly as many shifts despite all the basketball practice. Where did he get the energy? 

They headed down the hall together. They were going different places, but to get to the gym or the front doors, the same stairs were needed. 

“Hey, Kunimi…” 

“Mm?” 

“How do you get back on a girl’s good side?” 

“Huh? What’d you do this time?” Yuuma chuckled. “Fighting with Sakurajima? Just say you’re sorry.” 

Why did he look so pleased? 

“Kunimi, you’ve fought with your girlfriend before, right? I’d bet you have. Especially with that personality of hers.” 

Yuuma was dating a second-year girl from their school, a classmate of Sakuta’s. Her name was Saki Kamisato. Supposedly the cutest girl in her year, she was the leader of the popular girl clique in his class. Which made her the de facto leader of all the girls. He wasn’t sure if that was the source of her pride, but she had it in for Sakuta—a perennial outcast. She’d gone so far as to order him not to speak to Yuuma. That had been quite a shock. 

Her mean streak had to come out from time to time when she was with Yuuma as well. It wouldn’t be fair if it didn’t. 

“And what kind of personality is that?” 

“She’s a lovely girl who’s very willing to share her sense of righteousness with me.” 

“She doesn’t beat around the bush, that’s for sure.” 

Yuuma knew exactly what Sakuta meant, but he always did this. Deliberately twisted things around into something positive. Never had a bad thing to say about her. 

“To be fair, I get on her bad side often enough.” 

Yuuma winced a bit at the memory. 

“How do you fix that?” 

“I don’t do anything special.” 

“Your ‘nothing special’ is probably something ridiculously cool, so just tell me already.” 

“You have way too high an opinion of me. It really isn’t anything special. I just use the message function on a free communication app to send her a funny-looking sticker.” 

“You what?” 

“We send those back and forth for a bit, and before you know it, we’ve laughed it off.” 

“And you’re telling me this out of sheer spite, since you know I don’t have a phone?” 

“Look, it’s the answer to the question you asked.” 

As they headed down the stairs, they passed some first-years. Yuuma waved at them. 

“Anything else?” 

“Take her on a date somewhere she mentioned wanting to go.” 

“Hmm.” 

“Get her something she’s said she wanted.” 

“And?” 

“Uh, she really likes that Gaburincho Bear character, so I buy that merch for her. That’s it.” 

“You’ve got it rough, huh?” 

That was more answers than he’d expected. Sakuta gave him a look of pity. 

“Never feels like that when it’s your girlfriend, though.” 

“That sounds impressive but destroys all sympathy I might have had for you.” 

“Whoa, you’re the one who made me say all this,” Yuuma complained, but he sounded happy. 

“But I think it helped. Thanks.” 

“Cool. Gotta leave you here.” 

They were almost at the front doors, so Yuuma waved a hand and jogged off down the covered walkway to the gym. 

Sakuta watched him go and then started working through the received advice. 

He was soon at an impasse. 

“Places she wants to go? Things she wants? Mai never mentions anything like that.” 

He was stuck again. 

Despite finally getting some practical advice, it wasn’t helping. He would have to coax information out of her, but this was Mai. If he started asking indirect questions, she’d know what he was up to instantly. And that would just force him further into the corner. 

He had to think of another approach. 

By now he was standing at his shoe locker. He changed into his shoes, put his slippers away, and then sensed something wrong. 

“Yikes, I’ve gotta take a shit.” 

And not just any shit. This was an urgent call. Almost certainly caused by stress. But if he stopped at the bathroom and missed Shouko, all this worrying would be for nothing. 

Hoping the urge would pass in time, he headed outside. 

He was walking a little faster than usual. Quickly passing the other students. 

The gate was coming up quick. Beyond that was the crossing, yellow-and-black-striped poles standing upright, reaching for the sky. 

He saw this every day. The students walking around him all took this path on a daily basis, too. But as he neared the school gates, he sensed something different. The students ahead of him were all noticing something. 

As Sakuta neared the gate, he saw a girl with her back to him, stopped in her tracks. Long hair swaying in the wind. He recognized her instantly. It was Mai. 

“Mai, what’s up?” he asked. He couldn’t just breeze on by. 

“Oh, Sakuta,” she said, turning back. “Perfect timing. This girl wants a word with you.” 

Mai was facing someone by the side of the gates. She wore the uniform from another school and glasses. This girl was noticeably younger than them, with a bit of a baby face. He took another look and thought her sailor uniform seemed familiar. 

“……” 

He might be imagining it, but…before they’d moved to Fujisawa, Sakuta had lived in Yokohama. And this resembled his junior high uniform to an uncanny degree. He plucked the thread from a sea of memories and felt like it had something on the end of it. A catch. 

“You want to talk to me?” he asked, hoping to find out what that might be. 

“Yes. You’re Kae’s brother, right?” 

He recognized that wording, too. Only one person had ever called him “Kae’s brother.” 

“Do you remember me? We used to live in the same building. I lived upstairs. Kotomi Kano.” 

He finally placed her just as she said her name. 

“…I only just remembered, sorry.” 

She was someone they’d known before moving to Fujisawa. A neighbor from back in Yokohama. And she’d been friends with Kaede. 

“So, um…” Kotomi was fidgeting, glancing at the crowds. 

They were right by the gates, and tons of students were flowing out. Wearing a different uniform alone made her stand out, but she was talking to Mai, a nationally famous actress, and Sakuta, a well-known figure of ill repute in this school. Stares were unavoidable. 

A few people were even sniggering. This was more likely because they’d heard him yelling out the window earlier, but Kotomi had no way of knowing that, and she flinched visibly. 

“Sakuta, maybe take this somewhere else?” Mai suggested. 

“Good…idea,” he said, but he offered no suggestion. It was a clear sign this situation had put him off-balance. He hadn’t expected to meet anyone from the past like this. It had never even occurred to him that someone might try to get in touch. 

“Er, um…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just shown up like this.” 

“No, that’s not a problem at all.” 

His head was finally starting to work. What now? If she’d come all this way, she must have had a reason for it, so he couldn’t just send her packing. For a junior high school student, taking several trains to the next city over was a pretty big adventure. He didn’t want to brush off the courage residing in that tiny frame. Especially if this was connected to Kaede. 

“Uh, Mai, I hate to say it, but…” 

He could only think of one solution. 

“I get it. I’ll run down to the beach,” she sighed, jumping ahead of him. “I’ll recognize her if I know the younger one?” 

“Her” being the older Shouko. 

“I think so, yeah.” 

He was already having second thoughts about asking her to handle this. It felt like he’d just turned the dial on life straight to the danger zone. 

But that didn’t mean he could just ditch Kotomi here, and it would be weird to drag her along to the meeting, too. 

“The situation demands it,” Mai said matter-of-factly. 

She’d clearly gotten an urgent vibe from Kotomi’s demeanor, too. Mai had gained a grim set to her jaw, too. 

“Come get me when you’re done,” she said and walked away. 

The students were all turning right, headed for the station. Mai went the other way, toward the water. 

 “The situation demands it.” 

Mai was right about that. 

He took a deep breath and turned back to Kotomi. 

“This way,” he said. 

“Welcome!” the girl at the register said brightly as Sakuta and Kotomi Kano stepped inside. 

This was a fast-food place a five-minute walk from Minegahara High. 

Half the seats were full. A lazy afternoon vibe permeated the interior. 

He led Kotomi to an empty seat by the windows overlooking the water and sat down opposite her. This was a chain shop that could be found everywhere, but with a view like this, it felt much grander. 

That feeling hit everyone their first time here. Kotomi was no exception. Nervous as she was, she still gaped at the view and said, “Wow!” 

The price tags were the same as every other shop in the chain, so the food felt like a real bargain. Sadly, there was a sign on the door saying they would be closing at the end of the month. 

An employee brought them some orange juice and took the number tag away. Kotomi straightened up and inserted her straw. 

Before taking a sip, she said, “I’m sorry to just show up like this. Was I interrupting something?” 

“It’s taken care of.” 

It really wasn’t, and Sakuta was actually dreading going to the beach after this, but at this point, he had to just accept his fate. Giving up was vital to life. 

“Sorry,” she said again. 

He remembered her being a smart kid. They’d known her since kindergarten, and Kotomi always had it together. Always a few steps ahead of the other kids her age. Meanwhile, Kaede had lagged behind the others. Kotomi had spent a lot of time helping her. 

Like, Kaede always took her time eating, so Kotomi would wait for her. And she was a slow runner, so Kotomi would take her hand and pull her along. 

Since she lived upstairs from them, she and Kaede had played together nearly every day. 

They shared a class for all six years of grade school. 

But in junior high, they’d been split up. 

Even so, for the first month, they’d walked to school together. 

Things started to change after Golden Week. They both started spending more time with friends from their new classes, and he didn’t see them together as much. Kotomi didn’t come over any more. 

That was the last memory he had of her. 

She hadn’t worn glasses back then and had been more childish than she was now. Her features had certainly sharpened since. 

“Oh, the glasses?” she said, catching his look. She took them off, looking sheepish. “I can’t really do contacts. I try to put them in, but my eyes just snap shut…” 

She mimed applying contacts. 

Kotomi had always seemed like the type of girl who could do anything, but even she had her weaknesses. You never really know people as well as you think. 

Which was why he had no idea what brought Kotomi here now. 

“So why come around now?” he asked. Figuring it was best to be direct. “And why here?” 

When they’d moved to Fujisawa, he hadn’t told anyone where they were going. The bullying had left Kaede deeply traumatized, and she needed to live somewhere where they didn’t know anyone. 

“I…I tried to forget,” Kotomi said, staring at the crumpled straw wrapper. “All those awful things happened to Kae, and I couldn’t do anything. And then the two of you moved away…” 

“……” 

“Everything they’d done to her came out. The faculty and board of education and…I don’t even know who else. All these adults showed up, and…and then the girls who’d been mean to Kae started getting bullied by everybody else. People told them to die or drop out, or posted about it…until they all stopped coming to school as well.” 

“…Oh.” 

That was news to him. He’d avoided even thinking about his old neighborhood since the move. And when he’d tossed his phone into the ocean, he’d cut off all contact with his old life. 

“When the last of them were gone, people acted like they’d banished the evil villains. Like it was over. Nobody ever mentioned Kae. It became, like, an unwritten rule that you could never talk about any of it.” 

“Is that why you tried to forget?” 

“Sorry.” 

“I’m not criticizing you. And you’ve got nothing to apologize for, Kano. You weren’t part of the crowd that was mean to Kaede.” 

“But I didn’t do anything to stop them. While they were bullying Kae, all I did was sit in the next class and worry about her.” 

“Well, yeah. It wasn’t your class. What could you have done?” 

Class divides were huge within most schools. They were like giant invisible walls. Entering the wrong class was like walking on needles, even if you weren’t doing anything wrong. Nobody would welcome an outsider from another class barging in. 

If Kotomi had tried to openly support Kaede, it probably would’ve made the bullying worse. Kaede would have been blamed for violating those unwritten social rules. 

“But even after Kae moved, I did nothing. I avoided ever mentioning her and actively tried to forget her. It got so I could barely breathe…” 

Kotomi put her hand on her chest, like she was in genuine agony. 

“And then I saw the stories about Mai Sakurajima.” 

Kotomi finally looked directly at Sakuta. 

“You did?” 

It took him a moment to work out why her name had come up. 

“I saw the photos online—and thought, ‘Wow, the boy she’s with looks a lot like Kae’s brother.’” 

The photos in the weekly magazines were properly blurred out, but that wasn’t true online. They were mostly taken from quite a distance, but someone who knew Sakuta personally could probably tell it was him. And there were quite a few pictures like that. They were probably—no, definitely still out there. 

“So I looked into it more, digging deeper, and found a site that said Mai Sakurajima went to this school. I thought if I came here, I might find you. Once I made it that far, I just had to come.” 

She’d waited at the gate, found Mai, and called out to her. And Sakuta had come by a minute later. 

“Um…is Kae doing all right?” 

“She is. She loves staying home so much, she can’t leave.” 

Kotomi looked unsure if this was good news or not. 

“She really is doing all right,” he said. “No reason for you to beat yourself up.” 

“Okay…” 

“Is that all you wanted to know?” 

“No,” she said, hesitantly shaking her head. “Here.” 

Kotomi pulled a book out of her bag. A hardcover novel. The title was The Prince Gave Me a Poisoned Apple. 

“I borrowed this from Kae but never got a chance to give it back.” 

He took the book from her and flipped through it. She’d taken good care of it. Probably because she planned to return it one day. 

“Um.” 

“Mm?” 

He slowly closed the book. 

“Is there any way I could see her?” 

Sakuta had been waiting for that question. But that was exactly why he made a show of thinking about it before turning his gaze to the ocean and saying, “I think it’s better you don’t.” 

“……” 

“It would probably be a bit of a shock.” 

“…Of course. I imagine it would…bring back some painful memories.” 

Sakuta had meant Kotomi would be shocked, but he decided this interpretation worked just as well, so he didn’t correct her. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m only thinking about myself again.” 

“Kano, if you could see Kaede, what then?” 

“Huh?” 

“Do you know what you’d say?” 

She thought about that for a moment. “No,” she said, hanging her head. 

“Then you should at least figure that out first.” 

“……” 

“Maybe if you met, the words would come naturally, but…I kinda suspect they wouldn’t.” 

This was a bit presumptuous of him. But he was pretty sure he was right. And that was why he felt the need to tell her. 

“Um.” 

“Mm?” 

“Can I at least get your number?” 

She pulled a phone out of her bag. The case had a panda pattern on it. 

“Oh, sorry. I don’t have a phone.” 

“Huh?” 

She looked up like she couldn’t believe her ears. 

“Phones cause problems for Kaede.” 

“Oh…” 

Kotomi knew enough to get what that meant. Kaede flinched any time she heard a ringtone or even the sound of a phone vibrating. An unmistakable expression of fear. 

“Th-then I’ll just leave you with my number,” she said, opening her school bag. She took out a loose-leaf notebook, neatly tore off a corner, and wrote eleven digits on it. 

She held it out to him. 

“I don’t know what I’d say if I met Kae now. But I’d like to talk about novels with her again someday.” 

“Okay. Thanks.” 

He hoped that day would come. He really did. It was getting hard to even imagine Kaede chatting happily with friends. 

If today was the first step back to that, he was all for it. With that in mind, he took the scrap of paper with Kotomi’s number. 

Done talking, they downed their orange juice and left the shop. 

They headed toward Shichirigahama Station. He was walking Kotomi back there. 

Neither spoke on the way. Kotomi seemed lost in thought, so Sakuta left her to it. 

“Um, I have something I’d like to ask…” 

She only spoke up when they were already on the platform, waiting for her train. 

“What is it?” 

“Do you mind if I hold on to that book a little while longer?” 

“……” 

He didn’t answer right away. He had a hunch why Kotomi had brought the book with her. And it definitely wasn’t dutifully following the rules she’d been taught as a kid about making sure to give things back if you borrowed them. 

Kotomi had said it herself. 

She was trying to forget. 

But she hadn’t been able to. 

How could she forget when a book of Kaede’s was sitting right there, in her own bedroom? Any time she looked at it, all those memories came rushing back. 

Which was exactly why Kotomi had come to see Sakuta. That explained everything. 

“If it’s weighing on your mind, I’d say you should let it go,” he said, eyes glued to the tracks. Choices like that were necessary, sometimes. “Always trying to do the right thing really takes a lot out of you.” 

“…Yeah, I know,” Kotomi whispered. 

“But knowing that, if you choose to return the book yourself, Kano, I’m certainly not gonna stop you.” 

“Right.” 

“There’s just no guarantee everything’ll wrap up neatly, or that the day will ever come.” 

“……” 

This made her think for a while. One look at her face made it clear she was wavering. Half of her wanted to let the book go and take the easy way out. The other half wanted to hang on to it and hope for a beautiful resolution. These two urges were fighting for dominance within her. 

Which was exactly why Sakuta took the book out of his bag. He thought the fact that she hesitated at all meant it was worth preserving her connection to Kaede. 

“……” 

Kotomi’s eyes locked onto the book’s cover. Sakuta read the title again. The Prince Gave Me a Poisoned Apple. This book was definitely a poisoned apple for Kotomi. And it could well turn out to be one for Kaede, too. 

Kotomi’s hand slowly reached out and took the book. Her fingertips hadn’t stopped trembling. 

But when the train stopped at the platform, her grip tightened, and she pulled the book to her chest. 

She thanked Sakuta again and got on the train. 

“Be safe getting home.” 

“I will.” 

The doors slowly closed. 

As the train pulled out, Kotomi bowed her head again. Sakuta raised a hand in acknowledgement. And then Kotomi’s train left the station, bound for Kamakura. 

Sakuta took his own leave and headed toward the beach. 

They’d been talking for a while, so the sun was hanging low in the west, preparing to set behind Enoshima. 

He reached Route 134, waited for the light, and crossed. There was a set of stairs leading down to the beach at the end of the crosswalk. He took it one step at a time. Oddly enough, he didn’t feel tense at all. 

He stepped off the last stair onto the loose sand. His weight sank slightly into it. 

The sand grabbed his feet as he picked his way along the beach. 

The waters of Shichirigahama stretched out before him. 

Not much wind today. The waves were gently lapping. Not great surfing weather, but perfect for staring out at the ocean. 

The light of the setting sun turned the water red, like a portal to another world. 

The distant horizon seemed like the edge of that world. 

But as far off as it seemed, the horizon was only three miles out. The marathon Minegahara High students ran covered more ground. 

It was a weekday, so the beach was largely empty. There was a group of college girls snapping photos with their phones, and a man walking a dog. And one girl in a Minegahara uniform. 

She was standing by the water’s edge, the wind ruffling her hair. 

Sakuta stopped next to her. 

“Thanks for waiting, Mai.” 

“That girl?” she asked softly, looking over at him. 

“Walked her to the station.” 

“’Kay.” 

A wave rolled in and out. 

“Sorry,” Mai said. 

“Mm?” 

“She found you through the photos of us, right?” 

Mai was smart enough to guess as much the second Kotomi called out to her and asked about Sakuta. 

“I’d rather have a reward than an apology.” 

“We’re not getting intimate.” 

“Aww.” 

“I said that was off-limits till you got back on my good side.” 

Mai was clearly drawing a line in the sand here. 

“Then I’ll give up on that. But I do have a favor to ask.” 

Sakuta crouched low, grabbing a pebble out of the sand. 

“I’m listening,” she said, already skeptical. He hadn’t even asked yet. Maybe she thought this was gonna be something weird. How hurtful. 

“Do you have time after dinner?” 

“Sure. Why?” 

“I’d like your help studying.” 

“Because midterms are next week?” 

She looked bored already. Like he’d let her down. 

“Sure, that’s one reason.” 

“And what’s the other?” 

“I want to go to the same college as you.” 

He spoke facing the ocean, not changing his tone at all. 

Mai looked surprised, like she hadn’t seen that coming at all. But her expression soon shifted into a smile. 

“Who gave you that bright idea?” 

“I did a little research. Went to Kunimi for tips on how to make up with your girlfriend.” 

“I see.” 

He’d have preferred to pick an easier option. But Mai never mentioned places she wanted to go or things she wanted to do—but she had said she wanted to go to college with him. 

He’d run through every memory he had and settled on this. 

“I almost forgave you, but not quite.” 

“Aw, why? Because Kunimi helped?” 

“Because you’re reluctant.” 

“Well, I never did like studying.” 

“But you want to go to college with me.” 

“Those are two different things.” 

“You would think that.” 

“If you could teach me in the bunny-girl outfit…” 

“Don’t push your luck.” 

She bonked him on the head. 

“Ow.” 

It didn’t actually hurt, but he rubbed it anyway, peering up at her. 

“Oh, right,” she said. Her eyes met his, as if a great idea had just struck her. She looked positively delighted, like she’d found the perfect strategy to drive him up the wall. “I’m thinking about taking a year off first.” 

“Huh?” 

“Well, you said you really wanted to go to college together.” 

This was an even bigger deal than he’d expected. 

“Er, wait, but that means…” 

“We could spend more time together that way.” 

“True, but still…” 

“You don’t like the idea?” 

Mai put her hand on her hip. A transparently phony performance. Acting grumpy in a way that made it obvious she was just acting. 

“It’s not that I don’t like it. I’m just…a bit worried.” 

If Mai waited a year for him, that meant he really couldn’t fail the exam. Passing was his only option. And Mai was well aware of that, which was why she looked so delighted. She had cut off any hope of escape with a grin. 

“No need to be worried.” 

“Does that mean you won’t be mad if I fail the exam?” 

“It means I’ll be your home tutor during the year I’m waiting.” 

“Your efforts may be in vain.” 

“Sakuta. You love me, right?” 

“Well, of course…” 

And like that, he had no way out. 

“But are you serious about this?” 

“It’s a good idea, isn’t it?” 

Her smile was blinding. It sent a powerful message that he needed to quit hemming and hawing. But considering the risk involved, he couldn’t quite let it go. 

“I just don’t want to waste a precious year of your life.” 

“Time spent with you will hardly be wasted.” 

The ball he’d tossed out as a test had gone rocketing all the way to the stands in the back. 

His only goal had been to get back on her good side, but the price he was paying was far too steep. He may have gotten himself mixed up in something really dangerous. And it was far too late to back out now. 

“Anyway, I’d better get home,” Mai said, shouldering her bag. 

Sakuta stood back up. “Same here.” 

“Mm?” Mai stopped, surprised. “You’re not waiting for Shouko?” 

“Sun’s already setting, and…no proof she’ll even come.” 

The sun had disappeared behind Enoshima. Not much longer till it was fully dark. 

“And Kaede’ll be getting hungry.” 

“I’m good if you’re good,” Mai said. 

“Oh, but I guess I oughta tell her the important thing.” 

“How?” 

Instead of answering, Sakuta started drawing lines in the sand with his shoe. One, then another, then another. 

Straight lines and curves. Lines that crossed or joined together. 

Mai stood and watched. It took about five minutes. 

“Right! Let’s go, Mai.” 

They headed out. He turned back at the top of the stairs, looking down at what he’d written. 

A message to Shouko. 

When they’d first met, he’d been at rock bottom, running away from everything. 

But meeting Shouko had given him the strength to get back up. Her words had kept him going. 

He was in high school now. He wasn’t exactly sure he was doing the best job of it, but he was living his life. The message he’d left told Shouko what mattered most now. 

I’ve got a girlfriend. From Sakuta. 

Mai stood at his side, shaking her head—but looking secretly pleased. 

“Should I have added the word cute?” 

“I think you should keep that part to yourself, Sakuta.” 

“Well, inside, I’m thinking really cute.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

He meant every word, but it just rolled off her. Still…she took his hand as they started walking, so everything else ceased to matter. 

3 

They stopped at the grocery store near Fujisawa Station on the way home, and by the time they left, it was dark out. With no trace of the sunset left, the stars were free to stretch out above. 

It was just past six. The days were definitely getting shorter. Proof they were well into fall, with winter fast approaching. When the sun set, the temperature dropped, and the wind took on a colder edge. 

Sakuta and Mai found their footsteps growing faster. 

“Mai,” Sakuta said as they left the station crowds behind. 

“Mm?” She glanced his way. 

“Have you ever thought, ‘I don’t wanna go to school’?” 

“Where’d that come from? Wait, no, I get it,” Mai said, answering her own question. “Is this about Kaede?” 

“Just…a lot of things today made me think of the past.” 

Meeting Kotomi Kano for the first time in years. The letter from Shouko. Both things he’d put behind him, and both involved Kaede. 

“Oh, but I was thinking about you most of all.” 

“Spare me.” 

It was true, but facts did not move her. 

“As for school…well, in grade school or junior high, I certainly never wanted to go.” 

“Really?” 

“I mentioned this before, right? Since I was a child star, I didn’t fit in and couldn’t make friends.” 

“Oh, right.” 

“So when I did show up, I’d just have girls talking about me behind my back or stupid boys hitting on me. It sucked. I absolutely hated dealing with it. Everything was so much easier when work kept me out of school.” 

“I feel like your circumstances are too specific to be helpful for the rest of us.” 

“You’re the one who asked.” 

She hit him with an extra-powerful glare. These were the same eyes that drew the attention of every audience member whenever she appeared on-screen. Best not to meet this glare head-on. It might freeze him solid. 

“I mean, come on…” 

“What about you, then?” 

“Me?” 

“Last year, the hospitalization rumors went around, and you found yourself ostracized. What did you do?” 

“You saw for yourself. I just kept going to school like nothing happened. Still show up basically every day.” 

“How very you.” 

“Better than twitching at every funny look I get and convincing people I care what they think.” 

“They probably think you don’t care enough.” She seemed worn-out for some reason. “It’s quite normal to care about how others see you.” 

“You’re on TV, and you still say that?” 

“I don’t see the connection.” 

She did, but she segued into the topic anyway. This was a trap. She was trying to make him say it so she could yell at him for it. 

“I meant what I said,” he replied, being deliberately evasive. 

“Rude,” Mai hissed, pouting. 

But she quickly moved on. 

“Schools are unique,” she said absently. 

“Yeah?” 

“It’s an obvious thing, but…everyone in class is your age.” 

“Well, yeah. Kinda the point.” 

What was she getting at? 

“And that makes class the place where it’s hardest to ignore the differences between us, the advantages and shortcomings each of us has.” 

“Oh, I see what you mean.” 

This was a very Mai way of thinking. Few people would ever reach that conclusion. 

Most never thought to examine the nature of schools. 

It was too “normal” for people to stop and consider what made them so different. 

Kids are thrown into preschool and kindergarten before they’re old enough to think like that, and they advance steadily up the ladder to elementary school, junior high, and high school. Everywhere they go, they’re surrounded by people their own age. 

It’s only natural everyone assumes (or convinces themselves) that this is simply how the world works. 

And within those same-age groups, everyone is searching for themselves, desperately trying to carve out a place to belong. 

But Mai’s take was also right. Because everyone is the same age, it forces them to acknowledge even the slightest discrepancies. “He’s really tall.” “She’s cute.” “These kids are smarter; those make you laugh”…everyone using one another as measuring sticks. Being around kids their own age allows everyone to explore what makes them different, better, or worse, all so they can apply that knowledge when they’re around people outside their age group. 

Comparing and contrasting is how kids find themselves. 

But just as this system leaves some kids feeling superior, it stifles others. 

That was what Mai meant when she called it unique. There were too many mirrors reflecting your sense of self-worth. If you cared about how you looked in each and every one of them, you’d never get anywhere. 

“In my case, I was flung into the business so early, I was always around people of all ages, filming movies or TV shows. I always wondered why school had so many children.” 

“And thinking that’s why you can’t fit in.” 

“Like you do any better.” 

She twisted his cheek. It didn’t hurt. This was a very mild pinch. 

“But I definitely get why you would struggle,” he said. 

“Oh?” She scowled at him. 

“Well, you’re the only one working. You’ve got a clear difference nobody else can imitate. That’s hardly fair.” 

Working with grown-up actors, directors, and all kinds of other people gave Mai a greater variety of mirrors to see herself in. She’d notice things she could never have learned at school. 

Sakuta had gone through a similar experience when he first started working at the restaurant. He’d recently started high school and was feeling all grown up, but just spending time with college students a few years older than him was enough to make him realize how premature that thought was. Those three or four years totally changed how people lived, how they used money, or how far from home they ventured. 

There are so many things you can’t learn at school. But spending time at school makes you think the whole world works the same way. Schools don’t teach you there’s a world beyond the classroom. 

“I’ll concede that point, Sakuta.” 

“Right?” 

“Don’t act like you’ve won.” 

They fell silent for a moment. As they reached the end of a crosswalk, Mai spoke up again. 

“Kaede’s changing a little, right?” 

“She’s getting taller.” 

Might even be taller than Mai one day. 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

“I know.” 

She was getting pretty comfortable with Mai. At first, Kaede had hid behind the door frame every time Mai came over, but now they were chatting normally. 

And recently she’d been putting her junior high school uniform on. 

That was not a small change. It was actually quite a big deal. 

As they talked about that, they reached their apartment buildings. 

“I’ll just go change,” Mai said and handed him the smaller shopping bag. He’d been carrying the bigger, heavier one from the get-go. It was all the food they’d bought on the way. 

“Later.” Mai waved and went into her own building. 

Sakuta turned the other way and went through the auto-lock doors. They lived across the street from each other. 

He took the elevator to the fifth floor. 

After getting his key in the lock, he opened the apartment door. 

“I’m home!” he announced and put his bags down in the entrance. 

Footsteps came pattering toward him. 

“Welcome back!” Kaede called, super cheery. She was wearing her panda pajamas again. She had a notebook clutched to her chest—she must have been studying. 

Sakuta got his shoes off and took the food to the kitchen. 

Kaede followed after. Their cat, Nasuno, came to play underfoot. 

“Oh, right, Kaede…” 

“What is it?” 

“Food’ll take a bit.” 

“Am I going to starve?!” 

“Mai’s coming over to cook for us.” 

“Mai’s cooking is real tasty, so I can wait!” 

Kaede was getting good at cost-benefit analysis. 

“I’m gonna go change,” Sakuta said. 

He went to his room and took off his uniform jacket. Then his pants and shirt. Just as he was down to his boxers, Kaede called out to him. 

“What?” he asked, looking over his shoulder. 

Kaede was standing in the doorway. He thought she looked a little tense. 

“I have an important announcement.” 

She was still clutching that notebook to her chest, her arms squeezing it tight. Looking closer, he realized it wasn’t actually a study notebook. It was the one she used as a diary. It was quite thick and had Kaede Azusagawa written on the cover. Sakuta had bought it for her. 

“Does it have to be now?” 

Should he really be hearing this in his underwear? 

“Please listen before I lose the courage to say it,” she said. 

That left him with no choice. 

“Very well,” he said, turning to face her, boxers and all. “What’s the announcement?” 

“This!” Kaede opened the notebook and held it up in front of him. “Ta-daaaa!” she sang, a little too late. 

The letters were too small to read, so he took a few steps closer. 

At the very top, it said: 

Kaede’s Goals for This Year! 

It was written in cute, rounded handwriting. 

“What’s this?” 

“My goals for this year.” 

“That’s definitely what it says.” 

But it was already mid-October. It was a surprising time to start setting goals for the current year. 

He elected not to point this out. Once he started reading the items under the header, such minor details ceased to matter. 

Go outside with Sakuta. 

Take a walk with Sakuta. 

Frolic on the beach with Sakuta. 

Having only two and a half months left in the year was nothing compared with these goals. 

“Frolic?” 

“Frolic!” 

“We have to frolic?” 

“Yes!” 

The list went on. 

Ride a train with Sakuta. 

Buy pudding with Sakuta. 

Go on a date with Sakuta! 

The page was completely covered in these. 

“Uh, Kaede…” 

“What?” 

“Are there any goals that don’t involve me?” 

“There are!” 

That was surprising. He’d thought it was a futile question. 

“Right here!” Kaede pointed at an item in the middle of the list. 

Answer a phone call not from Sakuta. 

That certainly qualified. 

“……” 

It came as kind of a shock. 

But it was an actual problem that she couldn’t answer the phone unless she knew for sure it was him, so it was a good goal to have. 

Sakuta’s eyes moved down the list of Kaede’s goals and finally reached the very bottom. Which said: 

Go to school. 

This was in slightly smaller letters than the others. 

“Well?” Kaede asked. 

“It certainly is a lot of goals.” 

“I am committed to results and have processed my thoughts accordingly.” 

She puffed out her chest proudly. There was not much to puff out. Where was her confidence coming from? 

“Oh,” he said. 

“Yes!” 

“You’re committing to these results in two and a half months?” 

Kaede checked the notebook again. 

A frown crept over her face. 

“Going outside might be tough…,” she said. 

She was stuck on the first hurdle. Not surprising. She was a dedicated homebody. She hadn’t gone outside in two years. Changing that wouldn’t be easy. 

“Wh-what do I do?” 

“Well, what about adding goals that make you want to go outside?” 

Setting lofty targets like contact with strangers or going to school were way tougher than achieving ones based purely on her own desires. 

“Like what?” 

“Hmm…” 

Her eyes were filled with anticipation. The answer was right in front of him. There was a panda face on her pajama hood, and its eyes met Sakuta’s. 

“Go see pandas?” 

“Pandas!” Kaede’s face lit up. “Giant ones?” 

“We can go see the lesser ones, too.” 

“I’d like to see the pandas!” 

Kaede quickly added a new entry to her list. 

When she was done, she proudly showed it to him. 

Go see pandas with Sakuta. 

Sakuta was clearly part and parcel of all these tasks. 

“I think I might be able to go outside now!” 

“Glad to hear it. Don’t force yourself. We can work on your list over time.” 

“Okay!” 

She sounded happy. Thinking positive. A moment later, her stomach growled. 

“You need to eat before you commit to these results!” 

“When will Mai get here?” 

Sakuta had been home for twenty or thirty minutes by this point. 

“She is kinda late now, huh?” 

No sooner had he said those words than the intercom rang. 

Answering the door in his underwear would earn Mai’s ire, so he quickly finished changing before she got there. 

“Wow,” he said as he opened the door. Surprise and delight. 

It was Mai outside, of course. But she was wearing an outfit he hadn’t seen before. 

“That’s really cute,” he said. 

She was wearing a loose-knit sweater that came down to her thighs. All he could see below it were black tights and ankle boots. She’d kept her hair loose to match the sweater, parted to the sides with no braiding. Like junior high school girls of yore, but somehow Mai made it look current and fashionable. 

“Thanks.” 

She accepted his response with aplomb. Like it would take more than this reaction to please her. But she’d have been mad if he didn’t react, and madder still if he pointed that out, so he didn’t. 

“Anyway, come on in,” he said. 

“Don’t ignore me!” another voice said. 

There was a smaller blond girl standing next to Mai and sulking. 

“Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there.” 

He was lying. He’d spotted her shimmering hair the instant he opened the door. 

“But why are you here, Toyohama?” 

Mai had said her sister had idol lessons today and would be back late. That was the whole reason Mai had picked today to come over and cook. 

“Playing hooky?” 

“As if!” 

“The floor of the dance studio has a hole in it, and they’re repairing it today,” Mai explained as she took her shoes off. She stepped up into the apartment. 

“That place is a real dump.” Nodoka made a face. 

At this point, footsteps came pattering toward the door. 

“Mai, you came! Oh, Nodoka, too!” 

Kaede had belatedly come out to greet them. Once, she would’ve hidden behind the door in the back no matter who it was, watching from a safe distance, so this was significant progress. 

“Thanks for having us, Kaede.” 

“Sure! Mai, you look amazing!” 

Kaede appeared to be equally impressed with Mai’s look. 

The two of them chatted as they headed toward the living room. 

“What did you do to my sister, Sakuta?” Nodoka asked while pulling off her long boots. She seemed absolutely sure Sakuta was guilty of something. 

“Where’d that come from?” 

“I mean…” Nodoka glanced after Mai. “She doesn’t usually take that long to pick an outfit.” 

Sakuta stared at Mai’s back, too. 

“It’s a great outfit,” he said. “Filled with possibility.” 

The sweater came down to her thighs, hiding everything above. Allowing him to imagine what might lie underneath. 

“Just to be clear, you may not be able to see them, but she is wearing shorts,” Nodoka snapped, like she was fending off a pervert. 

“Don’t destroy my dreams.” 

Until the box was opened, there was no way to know what lay within. It was very quantum. 

Nodoka ignored his protests. “She stood in front of the mirror for ages trying out different hairstyles.” 

“Huh.” 

He wondered what she’d tried before settling on this look. He wanted to see them all. He’d have to ask later. 

“And if she’s going to that much effort…it’s for your benefit.” 

He wasn’t sure why Nodoka was so annoyed by this. 

“Your outfit is kinda cute, too, Toyohama.” 

“! K-kinda cute? That’s it?” 

She turned red like he’d struck a match inside her. 

“Okay, then just ‘cute.’” 

He did think it was cute. She had a pleated checkered skirt with a high waist that emphasized her slim figure. Her blouse had folds in it, too—a nice balance of “cute” and “flashy.” 

“I-I’m an idol, so I always put in effort in my appearance. I’m not even trying that hard!” 

“Mm-hmm, sure.” 

“……” 

He’d agreed with her, but she didn’t seem satisfied. 

“Nodoka, stop goofing off and come help!” 

“I’m not goofing off!” 

She pushed past Sakuta and went running down the hall after Mai. 

Left behind, Sakuta locked the door and then cheerily headed into the kitchen to savor the sight of Mai in an apron. 

4 

Mai made a beautiful dish of amberjack and daikon. The fish was perfectly cooked and hearty, and the daikon was impeccably seasoned, not too firm, and not too crisp. 

“This amberjack is jacked!” Kaede yelped, giving it her seal of approval. She was stuffing her face. “You’re such a good cook, Mai!” 

“You can cook like me with a little practice, Kaede.” 

“I can?!” 

“Sure.” 

“But when Sakuta tried to make amberjack and daikon, it was just jacked up.” 

“It was,” he admitted. He’d most likely overcooked it in an attempt to let the flavors develop. Sadly, the fish had ended up all dried out and nasty. Stewing fish was hard. 

Once they’d enjoyed the delicious dinner, Sakuta and Mai cleared the table. He washed the dishes, and she dried them and put them back on the shelf. 

Sakuta had tried to do it all himself, but she said, “It’ll be faster with two, and you need to study.” 

No pressure there. She was clearly determined to get this over with so he could spend even more time studying, and he had no right to refuse. 

“For midterms?” Nodoka asked. She was in front of the TV, stroking Nasuno. 

“Yes, but Sakuta said he wanted to go to the same college as me, so I’m going to start tutoring him.” 

“Huh? You’re going to college?” Nodoka asked. 

Apparently, this was news to her. She yelped so loud Nasuno jumped up and ran off. 

It was sort of shocking, really. 

Mai was a famous, successful actress. The Mai Sakurajima. With her talent and fame, lots of people would assume she’d focus on her career after graduating high school. And Mai’s work situation made going to college a real challenge. Nodoka was deep enough in the business to know exactly how tough it would be. 

“I’d like to. If Sakuta can pass, that is.” 

He was clearly a fundamental part of her plans now. 

“But where?” 

“A public school in Yokohama somewhere.” 

“Maybe I should try for the same place.” 

“Don’t you dare, Toyohama.” 

“Huh? Why not?” 

“That would be one less passing slot.” 

Nodoka’s blond hair made her seem a little like the frivolous type, but she actually had solid grades. She was currently attending a demanding girls’ school in Yokohama. 

“If that’s what you’re worried about, you’re doomed already.” 

“Even if I have the lowest passing score, a pass is a pass,” Sakuta said. “But are you actually planning on going to college, Toyohama? I thought you were gonna become a top idol and make me eat my words.” 

“There’s a lot of competition in the idol biz.” 

“So?” 

“So I’m gonna go to college and be an educated idol.” 

That played against her dye job and “gal” makeup, but it might actually work in her favor. 

“Then you might as well try to aim for the best school in Japan.” 

“I guess you have a point, but…” 

Nodoka’s eyes began to wander, like she was hunting for an excuse. 

“In other words, you just want to go to the same school as your sister, huh? Your motives are so suspect.” 

“You’re one to talk! Like you’re going to college to prepare for the future!” 

“I’m preparing for my future with Mai.” 

Nodoka’s jaw dropped. She gave Sakuta a look like even speaking to him was a waste of time. 

“What do you think life is, Sakuta?” 

“A way of killing time until you die.” 

“…You’re a clown. An absolute clown.” 

“Maybe this is hard for an aspiring idol like you to understand, Toyohama, but life isn’t just about where you end up.” 

She had to think about that one. Ultimately, she didn’t really seem to get what he was saying. 

“So what qualifies as a life by your definition?” she asked. 

“Mm, well…,” he began—but then the phone rang. 

The landline. 

“Who could that be?” 

There was an eleven-digit number on the display. Someone’s cell phone. It looked familiar—and then his heart skipped a beat. 

That was Shouko’s number. The younger one. 

“Hello,” he answered, feigning calm. 

“Er, um, this is Makinohara. Good evening.” 

The voice that came through sounded quite young. Clearly, this really was the junior high school Shouko. And she called herself Makinohara, not “Shouko” like the letter had. 

“Good evening to you, too.” 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to return your phone call.” 

“Oh, you mean yesterday? That’s okay. I said I’d call back but never did, huh? Sorry.” 

“So, uh, what was it about?” 

“I was just checking on something.” 

His eyes met Mai’s. He was pretty sure she’d worked out it was Shouko by now. 

“Checking what?” 

“Did you leave a letter in our mailbox?” 

“No.” 

She sounded baffled. He could picture her tilting her head to one side and blinking at him. 

“Cool, that’s all.” 

“Sorry I couldn’t be more help.” 

“Nah, thanks for getting back to me.” 

“Okay.” 

A grown-up’s voice called her name. Probably Shouko’s mom. 

“S-sorry. I’ve gotta get back to the exam room.” 

“You’re in the hospital?” 

“Y-yes…um…I came in for monitoring a couple of days ago.” 

It sounded like she regretted letting that slip. Clearly, she hadn’t planned to tell him. 

“B-but I’m totally fine,” she said, talking very fast. “Really, I swear. I’ll be checking out tomorrow.” 

Shouko didn’t want him worrying about her, so Sakuta didn’t press the point any further. 

“Well, bring Hayate over to play again some time. Kaede would like that.” 

“Okay! Then good night, Sakuta.” 

“Good night.” 

She hung up. A moment later, he did, too. 

“Shouko?” Mai asked. 

“Yep. Like I thought, she didn’t know about the letter.” 

“Oh.” 

“Letter?” Nodoka seemed confused. 

“Er, um,” Kaede said, grabbing his arm as he tried to step away. 

“Mm? What’s up?” 

“I-if Shouko calls again, can I be the one to answer?” 

“Oh, sure.” 

“Kaede, you want to answer the phone?” Mai was surprised. 

“Yes! It’s one of my goals!” 

“Goals?” 

“These!” 

Kaede held up the list she had been working on, showing them to Mai and Nodoka. 

“Right here!” she said as she pointed to the phone entry. 

“Ah, goals for this year.” Mai glanced over at Sakuta like she’d had an idea. “Can I grab a pen?” 

He took a ballpoint from the stash by the phone and handed it to her. 

Mai put Kaede’s notebook down on the table and wrote something in it. 

Sakuta leaned in to look. It said: 

Visit Mai’s place with Sakuta. 

“I can come over?!” 

“Sure! Come over anytime.” 

Kaede smiled, looking sheepish. 

“What’s gotten you so motivated, Kaede?” 

“I realized something recently.” 

“What?” Nodoka asked. 

“If I don’t learn to be independent, Sakuta will never get married.” 

That was a shocking revelation. 

“Tell me more.” 

It had never occurred to Sakuta that Kaede was making lists of goals for the sake of his future marriage. 

“I mean, whoever you get married to will have to take me, too.” 

“That’s a plus.” 

“A big one! I mean, no! It’s not.” 

“Mai would happily take you.” 

He glanced her way, but Mai didn’t meet his eye. 

“I wouldn’t mind if you were there,” she said, patting Kaede’s head. 

Sounded like there were no problems. 

“But if you can learn how to be independent, I think that’s a good thing. Would you like to practice talking on the phone with me now?” 

“With you?” 

“Yes. I could call from Sakuta’s room, and you could answer.” 

“O-oh! I want to try.” 

“You’ve got it.” 

Before Kaede’s resolve could waver, Mai got up and moved to Sakuta’s room. She no longer had any qualms about waltzing in there whenever she pleased. 

When she’d been in Nodoka’s body, it had functionally been her room. Sakuta felt that from a relationship perspective, the act of entering his bedroom ought to carry a little more tension. 

The door closed, but the phone didn’t ring right away. 

This was likely because Mai had powered her phone off. She’d seen Kaede flinch before when it rang or vibrated, and she was likely being considerate of that. 

After waiting maybe thirty seconds, the phone rang. 

Sakuta, Kaede, and Nodoka all turned to stare at the phone. The number on it was definitely Mai’s cell phone. 

“……” 

Kaede stood frozen to the spot. 

“Don’t worry. That’s Mai for sure.” 

“I—I know.” 

She slowly reached for the receiver. 

Her hand closed around it, but lifting it was a bit too much. 

Her fingers trembled. 

She stayed like that until it went to the answering machine. 

“Leave your message after the tone.” 

The machine beeped, and they heard Mai’s voice. 

“My name is Mai Sakurajima. I’m dating your brother.” 

Mai was formally introducing herself. Likely in the hopes of reassuring Kaede. 

“I’m calling today because I hoped to speak to you, Kaede.” 

Kaede was still shaking. 

Sakuta placed his hands gently on her shoulders. 

“It’ll be okay.” 

“R-right.” 

Kaede took a deep breath, then another. Mai kept talking, not giving up on her. 

At last, Kaede screwed her eyes tightly closed and lifted the receiver. 

“A-Azusagawa speaking!” she squeaked. Her nerves were obvious. 

But she was holding the receiver to her ear. 

“Well done, Kaede. You did it!” Mai’s voice called from down the hall. 

“I did it!” Kaede said, turning around to face Sakuta and exploding with happiness. 

Her eyes glistened—tears of joy and relief welling up at the edges of them. 

“Hello, Kaede? Can you hear me?” 

“Y-yes! I can hear you!” Kaede said as she put the phone back to her ear. 

“I guess that means you can answer if it’s me calling, huh?” 

“I—I think so, yes!” 

“Then I’ll have to call again sometime.” 

“I’m looking forward to it!” 

The whole call only lasted a minute. But this was a huge step for Kaede. Genuinely huge. Sakuta was honestly shocked this day had arrived. 

Kaede took a few more deep breaths and then slowly put the phone back on the hook. 

“Good for you, Kaede,” Sakuta said. 

And as he did, it happened. All the strength left her body, like the strings that had been holding her up suddenly snapped. 

“Kaede!” 

He reached out to catch her and managed to pull her to him. Together, they sat down heavily on the floor. 

If he’d been a second later, she’d have hit her head. 

“Uh, Kaede?” 

“What? What’s wrong?” Mai came out of his room. She’d heard the thud and come running. 

“I dunno. Kaede just…” Nodoka glanced up at Mai. She’d been crouching next to them, peering at Kaede’s face. 

“Kaede?” 

“I-I’m okay!” Kaede said, forcing a smile. She looked utterly exhausted. 

Plus, he could feel her body burning up. He couldn’t take her word for it. 

He reached up and put a hand on her forehead. 

“……” 

She was definitely running a fever. 

“Sorry,” Mai said, crouching down next to her. “Maybe we went a little too fast.” 

“No! You helped me achieve one of my goals.” 

Kaede might’ve been struggling to smile at Mai, but she was clearly proud of herself, too. She’d already managed to reach one of her goals. Like she said, that was undoubtedly a good thing. Sakuta was happy for her. She’d done something she hadn’t been able to do for two whole years. 

“Mm-hmm. You did great, Kaede,” Mai said, rubbing her head. 

Kaede giggled like she was ticklish. 

“But I think that’s enough for today. Nodoka and I will head home. You make sure Kaede rests up, Sakuta.” 

This was definitely not the time to study. Sakuta nodded in wholehearted agreement. 

He tucked Kaede into bed and then briefly stepped out of the apartment to walk Mai and Nodoka to the front entrance. 

“It’s hard to understand,” Mai said on the elevator. Almost to herself. 

He didn’t have to ask what she meant by that. Sakuta felt the same way. 

Both of them could answer the phone easily. Even painfully shy people had no problems answering calls from people they knew. 

But that was very hard for Kaede. She had to work like crazy to achieve something that came naturally for most. And even when she did it, the stress of it was so intense that it left her exhausted and feverish. The toll was simply that great. 

Like Mai said, it was hard to grasp Kaede’s perspective. Perhaps it was even impossible to truly understand without having personally experienced it. Especially when it was something easy. 

They reached the ground floor without saying much of anything else. 

“See you tomorrow,” Mai said once they were outside. Sending him right back to Kaede. 

“Lemme know if anything else comes up,” Nodoka said, looking worried. 

“Will do,” Sakuta said, like he wasn’t concerned at all. 

There was no need for Nodoka to be that upset. 

Mai and Nodoka vanished into their building. Sakuta waited until the glass doors slid shut behind them, and then he turned back to his place. 

“Coming in, Kaede,” he said, knocking on the door. 

She tried to sit up. 

“You keep resting.” 

“Where’s my notebook?” she asked. Her face flushed slightly from the fever. 

“In the living room. I’ll grab it for you.” 

He left her room and found the notebook on the table. He picked it up and headed back in. 

“Here.” 

Kaede took the notebook and drew a red circle next to the entry on answering the phone. She showed it to him, looking proud. 

“At this rate, I might go outside tomorrow!” 

“Sure.” 

“And go see pandas!” 

“That pandas will be worried if you’re still not feeling well.” 

“That would be bad! I’d better go right to sleep.” 

She lay down, and he took the notebook from her. 

As he did, he saw a mark on her wrist. At first, he thought it was a trick of the light, but it wasn’t. 

It was a bruise. 

That wasn’t a good sign. He felt a shudder run down his spine. 

Fighting back his fears, he checked to make sure Kaede was asleep, then rolled her pajama sleeve up. 

Splotches of purple covered her arm. All the way up to her elbow. 

What kind of blow could do that to you? 

“……” 

It was a painful reminder. 

He closed his eyes, seeing it all again. Awful memories that would be with him the rest of his life. And the bruise on her arm had dredged them all back up. 

Two years ago, when the bullying had reached its peak, mysterious bruises and cuts had started appearing on Kaede’s body every time she saw a post online or a message from one of the bullies. 

Kaede’s Adolescence Syndrome clearly hadn’t gone anywhere. Even after moving far away, even after cutting her off from everything online and limiting her contact with other people—all that had done was temporarily stop the bruises and cuts from appearing. It hadn’t solved the core problem. 

Kaede’s heart still hadn’t been saved. 

The ugly purple bruise on her frail white arm was proof Kaede had simply been frozen in time for two years. That much was all too obvious. 

Maybe it was time for her to overcome it. 

Kaede was trying to change. Maybe she had to walk this thorny path to achieve the goals in her notebook. 

It would be a long, hard road. 

But Sakuta wasn’t afraid. He was ready. 

He was past being surprised by something like this. There was no need to fear it. 

He’d been ready for this day for a long time now.